Breath by MAME

Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
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Brief: This is the story of Tul and Hin. This is a Sadistic Sexual relationship, and for a long time, it is not a healthy Sadomasochistic relationship. While all of the sex is consensual, consent is not sufficient without safety measures and aftercare practices in place. Therefore, please know that what you read here is first fiction and second not something you should do yourself. Within the scope of Sadomasochistic relationships, there are safe practices. Before trying Sadomasochistic sex, learn about those safe practices.

Synopsis: Tul and Hin are Thai college seniors. They attend one of the nation's top business schools. Tul, the firstborn of an affluent family has an extensive history of childhood trauma from his paternal grandmother's abuse, his mother's abandonment, an emotionally distant father, and the trauma of a violent kidnapping. Hin, the son of the family chauffeur and head cook, has been Tul's emotional support and often punching bag through it. Raised together, the two share a deep and complex bond rooted in both friendship and co-dependence.

Both Tul and Hin exhibit psychopathic tendencies and malignant narcissistic traits. The story unfolds during their final year of college and explores the shifting dynamics of their bond and Tul's vengeful relationship with his half-brother, Tinn. Interwoven flashbacks reveal the intricacies of their shared childhood and the experiences that shaped them.

Despite their flaws and psychopathic neurotypes, the novel has an eventual happy ending—a resolution that honors their true selves and provides a nuanced portrayal of their psychological complexities.

Rating: NC17, with many TWs

Spice Rating:

🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️ 🌶️

Translation Status: Complete

TWs: Abandonment issues, Alcohol use, Attempted murder, BDSM (with death on the table), Bloodplay, Bondage, Cheating, Child Neglect, Child abuse, Childhood Trauma, Choking, Class disparity, Classism, Covert recording of sexual acts, Death Threats, Depression, Description of animal abuse (not by a main character), Discussion of Abuse, Disinheritance, Divorce, Dubious Consent, Dubious Consent (though noted as consensual overall), Elder abuse, Emotional Abuse, Emotional Distress, Emotional abandonment, Emotional breakdown, Emotional confrontation, Emotional dependency, Emotional insecurity, Emotional isolation, Emotional manipulation, Emotional neglect, Emotional reunion, Emotional uncertainty, Emotional vulnerability, Exploitation of a minor, Extreme hatred, Extreme hatred directed at a child, Familial pressure, Family Manipulation, Family Rejection, Family adjustment, Family conflict, Feelings of inadequacy, Gaslighting, Grief, Homicide, Illicit filming of a child, Imprisonment, Internalized inferiority, Jealousy, Kidnapping, Lack of aftercare by a sexual partner, Manipulation, Marital discord, Narcissistic abuse, Object Insertion (sex play), Past Abuse References, Past Trauma References, Past heartbreak, Physical Assault, Possessiveness, Power imbalance, Psychological Trauma, Public Humiliation, Regret, Rejection, Revenge, Revenge Violence, Rumors and speculation, Sadomasochism, Self-Destructive Behavior, Sibling Rivalry, Sibling Tension, Social manipulation, Strangulation, Suicidal ideation themes, Threats of Eviction, Torture, Unrequited Feelings, Unrequited affection, Unrequited love elements, Verbal Abuse, Verbal abuse of a child, Violence, Violent sex, Heartbreak, Intense emotional confession, Intense intimacy, Loneliness, Peer influence, Separation anxiety, Unrequited love

MAME Reader Disclaimer: I don't believe it is possible to understate the intensity at which MAME writes trauma. Please read at your own risk.

Table of Contents

Prologue

Chapter 1: The Image Seen by Outsiders

Chapter 2: The Root of Evil

Chapter 3: Emotionless

Chapter 4: Or Merely Concealed?

Chapter 5: Just for Benefit?

Chapter 6: Dog Guarding Its Bone

Chapter 7: Reward or Punishment

Chapter 8: Everything in the Palm of His Hand

Chapter 9: A Heart Filled with Vengeance