Although Tul was born into an immensely wealthy family, the eldest son of this household had never once celebrated his birthday. This was due to the decree of the late Khun Than that no events were to be held for Tul. Even after Phonlay became paralyzed, this tradition remained unchanged. The first reason was that Rasa deemed it unnecessary, and the second was that Tul himself was indifferent to the day he first opened his eyes to the world.
However, the indifference of the masters did not mean the household staff felt the same.
From three in the morning, Klin rose to prepare an abundance of food for the master to offer alms at dawn. The front yard of Metthanun House became filled with staff who joined Tul in making merit. After the almsgiving, there was a small breakfast celebration in the kitchen, featuring more dishes than usual. Everyone joined together in offering their blessings to Tul, ensuring everything was completed before Rasa awoke to have her morning meal.
"Khun Tul, stay strong, just a little longer, and you will finish your studies," said Kon Hin's father, gripping Tul's hand tightly. His voice carried affection and reverence, for he was another who had witnessed the ordeals this boy had endured. He believed that from now on, only good things would come to this pitiful young man.
"Persevere just a little more."
"Yes, Uncle, thank you," Tul said, gazing into the eyes of the man he respected more than his own father and squeezing his hand in return.
"I could not have endured if not for your son."
Tul glanced over at his best friend, holding the important position of someone significant, standing and talking with Klin. For several days now, he had been avoiding being alone with him, which Tul found amusing. He guessed it was because Kon Hin was flustered by what he had asked for as a birthday gift, so he let the other person take time to compose himself before tonight.
This thought made Tul smile even wider before turning back to meet Kon Hin's father's gaze again.
"Thank you for always letting him stay by my side."
That statement prompted the listener to respond in a firm tone, no different from the day he introduced Kon Hin to Tul.
"And it will always be that way."
Since the day Khun Trai had helped their family, they owed an unrepayable debt of gratitude to the Metthanun family. Therefore, if Kon Hin could be of any benefit to Khun Trai's son, his father had no hesitation in giving him away.
"I will also do everything to make sure it stays that way," Tul said with a smile, his eyes gleaming, though he did not elaborate further on what he meant. Instead, he turned to receive blessings from the other staff, silently telling himself that he would never let Kon Hin out of his sight, never allow him to be with anyone else.
He had always been by his side, and it would have to stay that way forever.
Such were the thoughts of the birthday celebrant, unaware that this would be his last birthday before parting.
~~~
"Kon Hin? He said he was going out, Khun Tul," someone replied.
"He didn't tell me anything."
Tul was utterly surprised. After finishing his daily exercise, showering, and changing his clothes, the person who usually came to clean his bedroom still hadn’t shown up. Tul went downstairs to ask the head cook and found out that Kon Hin had already gone out.
Kon Hin usually informed him before going anywhere, even if it was just to buy vegetables at the market on Klin’s orders.
"Let me call him for you," Klin said quickly, reaching for her phone when she saw her master frowning. But Tul shook his head.
"No, it's fine. I'll call him myself. But did Hin say where he was going?"
"No, he didn’t say anything," Klin replied with a helpless shake of her head.
"It's okay, Auntie Klin. You can get back to work; I won’t bother you anymore." Tul walked away and stopped in the garden, feeling a mix of surprise and irritation. Since morning, Kon Hin had avoided meeting his gaze even once. Then, mid-morning, he disappeared without a word. But because today was his birthday, Tul stayed calm.
Not because he shared the belief of some that a good mood on one's birthday would lead to happiness throughout the year, but because it was a day Kon Hin liked to consider important. Tul remained calm, thinking that Kon Hin must be planning something.
Tul didn’t care that today, over twenty years ago, was the day he was born. For him, it was the day many had cursed him to die. His birthday was no more significant than any other day because it was a reminder of his birth into a world filled with wicked people and rottenness.
Yet Kon Hin always said he wanted someone as cruel as Tul to keep living in this world.
If anyone would be happy that he was born, Tul believed Kon Hin would be the first to think so. Even his own father likely thought it would have been better if Tul had never been born, avoiding the endless problems that followed.
If the Metthanun family had only Tinn, everything would fall perfectly into place.
He, Tul, was the unnecessary addition.
He shrugged, shaking off the nauseating thoughts, and picked up his phone to call his close companion… no answer.
Once, twice, three times—still no answer.
Frustration began to take hold of his heart, and Tul swore that if Kon Hin didn’t answer on the fourth attempt, he wouldn’t let him get out of bed tonight. But—
Ding!
The phone signaled an incoming message.
...Meet me at XXX Restaurant in XXX Hotel at 6 PM...
As soon as his golden-brown eyes finished reading the message, their cruel glint softened. A wide smile spread across his face, his gaze became gentle, and his large hand brushed across his face forcefully to hide the happiness reflecting in his eyes. The irritation vanished completely.
Tul typed a short reply:
...See you there...
The mixed-heritage man grinned widely, laughing to himself as he awaited the appointed time, thinking that this year, for once, he might agree with Kon Hin… how lucky he was to have been born into this world—a world that had Kon Hin in it.
~~~
"Ai Hin! Are you going to wash your face with Ai Pu's saliva or what?"
In the late afternoon, as the sun softened and the breeze cooled, Kon Hin, who had been sitting in the garden absentmindedly, gave a slight start and turned to look at the one addressing him. He then came face to face with pitch-black eyes and a pink tongue panting rapidly. As their eyes met, the owner of the pink tongue gave his cheek another lick, leaving it sticky. Hin pushed the mutt’s face away.
"Enough already, Pu Bee."
"Wow, by the time you stopped him, he must've licked your face clean of color," Nakrob said, shaking his head as he approached and lightly tapped Pu Bee on the head. But the mischievous dog wasn’t having it either, dodging Nakrob's hand to keep playing with the kind-hearted P'Hin if he could. Nakrob resorted to blocking him with his leg.
"Let me rinse my face for a bit."
"Go on then; even I find it gross," Nakrob said, glaring at Pu Bee intensely.
"I'm your owner, Ai Pu. Listen to me for once."
"Woof!" If Pu Bee could talk, he'd probably say, Mean master! I just want to play with P'Hin!
Kon Hin didn’t pay attention to the antics of the man and dog. Instead, he walked to turn on the faucet and quickly washed his face, letting the coolness chase away the gloom in his heart. But it didn’t make him feel better—not in the slightest. On the contrary, when he closed his eyes, he imagined his Chao-nai embracing Khun Wadi instead of him.
That’s right—Kon Hin had followed Wadi's request.
Since the moment he learned that the two were romantic partners, sorrow had flooded his heart. Tears filled the space in his chest, but he couldn’t show it. He couldn’t cry. He simply stood there smiling, congratulating the beautiful lady who was perfect for his Chao-nai in every way.
Even though his heart didn’t want to help her one bit, his mind commanded otherwise—he had to do it.
This was Tul’s romantic partner—Hin's future co-master. He had no right to refuse, even though fulfilling her request was akin to slicing into his still-beating heart.
It hurt. It was agonizing. But he had to endure.
That night, Kon Hin returned to his room and cried. He cried until his pillow was soaked, cried without tears, drowning in his pain, alone with the question of why his Chao-nai hadn’t told him. Why had he been left to find out from the lips of another woman?
Yet, at that very moment, Kon Hin provided his own answer: Because you’re not Tul’s romantic partner. You shouldn’t have taken those three days of dreams so seriously.
His Chao-nai had said they were partners for three days. He had experienced the most extraordinary feelings, and when those three days ended, their relationship reverted to what it had always been. What more could he ask for? What more could he hope for? He had no reason to be surprised that the Tul and Wadi were now in a relationship. In fact, it had taken longer than he initially expected.
Tul had never cared about anyone—but he cared about Khun Wadi. That had been clear from the start.
However, when the truth came from Khun Wadi’s own lips, he...collapsed where he stood.
Once more, tears streamed down his face, mingling with the water from the faucet. He scrubbed his face hard, rubbing until the water splattered everywhere.
"Whoa, whoa! First, you washed your face with Pu’s saliva; now are you planning to drown yourself in faucet water or what?"
Nakrob hurried over to shut off the tap and gave the soaking-wet Kon Hin a hard slap on the head.
"Sorry, I got everything wet," Hin mumbled.
"Care about yourself first. So, are you going to tell me what’s going on or not?"
Kon Hin had endured until now because he had been enduring his whole life. But on his Chao-nai’s birthday—the day he had to send him off to be with someone else—Kon Hin felt like dying. It was enough for his face and eyes to betray his pain when he met his closest friend, who had come seeking refuge.
Kon Hin had no idea where he should go, and his mind eventually led him to Nakrob’s house.
“…It’s nothing,” he murmured.
“Like hell it’s nothing!” Nakrob retorted loudly.
“Wipe your tears before you try to make me believe that!”
At those words, Kon Hin raised his hand to touch his eyes and realized that the water on his face wasn’t from the faucet he had used to wash up. Tears were streaming steadily from his eyes, drop after drop rolling down his cheeks, sliding past his chin, and falling to the floor.
He tilted his face upward to ask Nakrob: “Am I crying?”
“Yes!”
The moment Nakrob answered, Kon Hin smiled—but it wasn’t a smile of joy. It was the saddest smile Nakrob had ever seen.
“Is that so? So, I’m crying, huh? Ha…” Kon Hin chuckled bitterly to himself, even as tears continued falling from his eyes.
“I’m crying, aren’t I?”
“Hin…” Nakrob called out in concern, reaching out to touch his friend’s shoulder.
“Are you okay?”
“Haha… Am I crying, huh? I’m crying…”
It seemed as though Kon Hin didn’t hear the question. He lowered his head, staring at the drops of water falling onto the floor, and let out a bitter laugh.
“Why are you crying, Hin? Why are you crying?”
He asked himself, raising both hands to cover his face before collapsing to the floor in a heap.
“Stop crying! Hic Stop crying! Why are you even crying?”
Because no matter how much you cry, Khun Tul will never choose you. As soon as that thought crossed his mind, an uncontrollable torrent of tears streamed from his eyes.
The large man began sobbing without restraint, his cries spreading sorrow throughout the garden. The sight rendered Nakrob motionless in shock, his heart aching at the vision of his best friend breaking down so completely.
“I can’t do it anymore, Rob. I… I can’t take it anymore.”
Kon Hin could endure being tormented, but he couldn’t endure seeing Khun Tul with someone else.
He couldn’t keep lying to himself any longer.
“I love him, Rob. I love him.”
Nakrob could only kneel beside him, pulling the man who had spent his entire life trying to stay strong into his arms.
“Why can’t I stop loving him? Why… hic Why?”
It was a love that could never reach the man who held the heart of Pathapee.
~~~
The reflection in the mirror was that of a handsome mixed-heritage man, meticulously dressed more so than usual. His dark hair was styled to highlight his striking features. His tall, well-built frame was clad in dark pants and a white T-shirt, topped with a casual blazer. Not too formal, yet not too laid-back either, it added to the natural elegance that only heightened his appeal. When everything came together, Tul was the kind of man who easily turned heads and made people look after him without difficulty.
The man who looked at his reflection one last time lifted the corners of his mouth into a satisfied smile.
He felt pleased, and as he thought about how his date for the evening might react, Tul’s mood brightened even further.
They might blush at him or gaze at him with a look that seemed to undress him.
Just thinking about it made Tul laugh. He felt like this birthday was going to be unexpectedly great.
Although it was a bit early to be leaving the house, Tul walked out of his room, unconcerned with whether his biological father was still at the office or if his stepmother was pretending that today was just another regular day. He had grown accustomed to being treated that way. Thus, Tul turned to head toward Auntie Klin.
“Tonight, Hin and I won’t be coming home. You can lock up the house, Auntie.” Tul said with a smile.
“Where are you going?”
“Just a little birthday celebration,” Tul replied, his smile widening and his sharp eyes gleaming as he thought of the person who must have been waiting for him by now. This made Auntie Klin smile in return, even looking quite pleased.
“That’s good, Khun Tul. Good for you.”
“Why do you look like that?” Tul asked, walking over to pat her shoulder affectionately when he saw her face as if she were about to cry. Klin sniffed, almost as though she might indeed shed a tear.
“No, Khun Tul. Go enjoy yourself. I’ll tell Khun Trai and the lady later.” The head cook lightly pushed her boss, smiling through her red eyes.
“Have fun, okay?”
"Thank you," Tul said, not surprised that he could smile so willingly. It wasn’t pretension, but the genuine feeling that, perhaps, the only family who truly rejoiced with him was Hin’s.
And, whether it was because of his good mood or something else, Tul leaned in to kiss Auntie Klin on the cheek with a loud smooch, causing the head cook to freeze in surprise.
“I’m off now, Auntie.”
Tul then walked out with his car keys in hand, feeling in high spirits, leaving behind the middle-aged woman who placed her hand on her cheek before wiping away her tears instead.
"Khun Tul is smiling now, Khun Trai. Khun Tul has grown into a happy person," Klin whispered to herself. This was the first year she had seen him smile, for every other year, his birthday had been a day she saw him with a troubled face. Her little boss, Khun Tul, had even once hugged her and asked why he was born if no one wanted him. But today, that same boss smiled.
She could feel how truly happy he was by the smile on his face.
“Please, may he be happy forever. Please, let nothing harm him again,” she prayed with all her heart.
~~~
"What did you say?!!"
"I said..."
“Bloody damn cur!”
Inside Nakrob’s house, the large man cursed loudly without waiting for his best friend's response. Hin's eyes were red, and he had heard clearly from the first time Kon Hin spoke.
He knew today was Tul's birthday, and now he knew that Kon Hin had agreed to help the woman named Wadi.
"You’re right to curse me," Kon Hin said with a sad smile, his shoulders slumping.
“I’m the one who helped Wadi, but I ended up crying myself. I’m so damn weak, selfish as hell, and so damn ambitious. I’m such a bloody fucking shit lizard.”
"Not you!" Nakrob couldn’t stand hearing his friend insult himself any further.
“I’m talking about that bloody Tul!”
"Khun Tul didn’t..."
“Shut up and stop defending him! Can’t you ever think about your own happiness, you bloody Hin!” Nakrob, who had said he wasn’t insulting his friend, yelled, then rubbed his face when he saw the look in Kon Hin’s eyes.
He would rather suffer every day than stop defending his Chao-nai.
Nakrob tried to calm himself, speaking in a low tone that clearly showed he was holding back his anger.
“I’m not cursing you because you reluctantly gave today to that woman. I’m cursing you because that bloody Tul is doing things behind your back!” Nakrob wanted to stay calm, but his temper was getting the best of him.
The more he thought about what his friend had said, the angrier he got. Fine, Kon Hin had told the story in a calm tone, as if it was about someone else—how he just found out that Tul was seeing another woman. But no matter how it was told...
“That bloody fucking shit lizard is two-timing you, Ai Hin. He's stabbing you behind your back right now!”
Nakrob wasn’t a good man, but he wasn’t so bad as to sleep with one person while dating another, and neither of them even knew about the other. If Kon Hin hadn’t run into that Wadi, he’d probably still be blissfully fooled by Tul, smiling every time he was nice to him.
The big guy wanted to ask: Where did his friend go wrong?
Yes, Kon Hin is the one who serves, the one who has to wait for orders, but it's not him who's unsuitable for someone as noble as Ai Tul.
Good people like Kon Hin are not suitable for scum like Ai Tul!
"I told you already, Ai Rob, I wasn't stabbed in the back. Khun Tul has been choosing Khun Wadi for a long time."
"But he sleeps with you! He fucks you almost every night, Ai Hin!" Nakrob shouted, his patience completely gone.
"I don't know what the relationship between you and him is, but scum is scum. I don't care how highborn that woman is, or how suitable she is, everyone is human. Humans with feelings. That fucking shit-lizard is playing with my friend's feelings. He cares about what that woman thinks, but he doesn't care about how much my friend is hurting. Yet now you don't want me to be angry?!" Nakrob's voice grew louder and turned into a shout.
And when he finished speaking, the living room fell silent, but it was a silence heavy with the lingering echoes of the earlier shout. That made Nakrob realize he was making his friend look like he was about to die.
Thud!
"Fucking shit! Fucking fucking fucking shit!"
Nakrob threw himself onto the sofa, rubbing his face hard with both hands, thoroughly frustrated.
He wanted to help Ai Hin, but he knew the only person who could help was the one who spent time with him.
The young man truly didn't know where the hell that demon-kin friend of his found any happiness, making the people close to him love him to death, then going off to have fun with another woman. He didn't understand and never would because he could never be such a scummy man like Ai Tul.
The expression on his friend's face made Kon Hin slowly get up.
"I think I'd better go back."
Nakrob moved his hand away from his face. Looking at Kon Hin's face, he could tell that he was being considerate, dragging on with his discomfort for making him angry about his problems, which only made Nakrob even more frustrated. He had been his friend for four years now, been together almost to graduation, so why was he still being so considerate?
"And where are you going?"
"I..."
"You can't go home. You can't go anywhere. So where are you going?" Nakrob cut in before his friend could finish his sentence, glaring at the person who was completely dumbfounded. Kon Hin lowered his head.
"Are you going to sneak off and cry so no one else can see, like before?"
This time, Nakrob guessed right. Kon Hin clenched his fist tighter, his eyes filled with tears that looked ready to fall again. He had to stand up, walk over, wrap his arm around Kon Hin's shoulder, and pull him into a hug, ignoring his resistance. He gave his head a hard pat.
"You have me, Ai Hin. I won't let you cry alone."
Just seeing Kon Hin cry made Nakrob feel deeply sorry for him. How could Ai Tul, who was looked at with love and reverence, still be so heartless?
Nakrob stood there, lightly patting Kon Hin's head for several minutes, until he felt the person in his arms relax into the embrace. Nakrob then turned to look at the clock, which showed it was almost six o'clock. The closer the time got, the more Kon Hin looked like someone on the verge of death.
If you're suffering like this, why would you give it to someone else, Ai Hin?
Nakrob would never understand these two friends.
"Go, you should come with me."
Suddenly, Nakrob released his embrace and pulled his best friend's arm, urging him out of the house. He used his legs to push the old dog, Bui, who tried to leap at Kon Hin, out of the way. Then, he dragged the disoriented person into the car.
"Where are we going, Ai Rob?"
"Come on."
Nakrob said just that, then slammed the door shut in his face.
If Ai Tul could be happy, why couldn't Ai Hin have some fun too?
~~~
What the hell is going on?!
Tul asked himself how many times already because, as soon as he stepped into the restaurant with a beautiful view on the top floor of the hotel, announcing Pathapee's name, what he saw was a beautiful young woman in a clean white dress standing up with a nervous look on her face. She gave him a shy smile.
"Surprise, Ai Tul!"
What the hell is this?!
"What's this surprise?"
Tul almost couldn't hide his irritation, but he asked Napawadi, who looked even more beautiful than usual, with a warm tone, despite his hands tightly clenched together, his eyes scanning the surroundings.
His brain had already processed what kind of 'hellish' situation this was.
"Happy Birthday, Ai Tul!" Wadi said cheerfully, hoping to see her boyfriend happy. However, he was looking around as if searching for someone.
"Ai Tul, are you looking for Ai Hin?"
"Yes, I had arranged to meet with him."
"Ai Hin won’t come," Wadi said, blushing, then lowered her head to explain.
"I saw Ai Hin last week and asked him to help me. So today, Ai Hin arranged for you to come here. Um, or does Ai Tul want to see Ai Hin more?"
Tul had no choice but to respond...
"How could that be? I'm just so happy, I can't even speak."
The beautiful girl immediately gave a sweet smile, then asked, as if remembering something.
"Ai Hin asked me to tell you, Ai Tul, to wish you lots of happiness, and...," she trailed off, suddenly shy.
"And what?" Tul asked.
Napawadi's cheeks flushed as she whispered quietly.
"Ai Hin said... Ai Tul must be very happy because this year, he gets to celebrate his birthday with his girlfriend... Wadi." She said it, then became embarrassed herself, unlike Tul, who stood frozen in shock.
Ai Hin knew.
Tul didn’t understand why he was so shocked. He knew that one day Ai Hin would find out about this, but when it happened, he nearly collapsed. His hands clenched tightly as he stared at the beautiful girl, who was shyly smiling in front of him. But all he wanted was to turn around and run away from that place.
He wanted to see Ai Hin, not Wadi.
This was the truth reflected in his heart.
Yes, this year, Tul had a birthday full of surprises, but it was a bloody damn surprise.
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