Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
~~~
For many years, Kon Hin had barely celebrated his birthday.
At most, his mother would prepare food and ask permission from Chao-nai for the whole family to go give alms at the temple. She would say, “Happy Birthday,” and the day would end without any parties, cakes, or special meals.
And once he entered university, his birthday often coincided with exam periods, causing Kon Hin to completely forget about the day—just as he did this year.
The young man entirely forgot that tomorrow was his birthday. When Chao-nai mentioned that this trip was a birthday trip… how much joy do you think his heart would feel?
It could nearly explode into pieces.
Kon Hin thought this as he followed the bellboy into the room, his two hands hesitating awkwardly.
He wanted to carry the luggage himself but was stopped by the sharp-eyed gaze directed at him, clearly stating there would be no second reminder.
So, for someone accustomed to serving others, having someone else serve him left him walking clumsily into the room, only to widen his eyes when he saw that it wasn’t just an ordinary room with a bed in the center, a TV in one corner, and a small vanity table. Instead, it was a large suite with a long sofa set facing an expansive sea view. To the side was a large dining table and a small kitchen, suitable for simple cooking.
Moreover, the suite had two doors on opposite sides, each opening to reveal a master bedroom and a smaller bedroom. Everything was decorated so beautifully that a driver’s child could never afford to stay there.
Kon Hin continued glancing around the room with wide-eyed amazement, walking over to the large balcony entrance with an excited demeanor. Meanwhile, Tul watched him with a smile, handing money to the bellboy.
Until only the two of them remained.
“Do you like it?” Tul walked up behind the person standing and gazing at the sea view.
“You… You’re letting me stay in this room?” The birthday boy turned to look at Tul with wide-eyed surprise.
“What, do you think I would make you sleep in the hallway?”
Kon Hin swore the hallway suited him better, which only made the sarcastic one sigh.
“Do you see me as such a cruel Chao-nai that I’d throw you out to sleep in the hallway?” Tul knew perfectly well he could be much harsher, but in his good mood, he didn’t want to ruin it. He wrapped both arms around his close companion from behind, resting his chin on Kon Hin’s shoulder, aware of how stiff the other became—pitifully so.
“I don’t deserve anything this good,” Kon Hin said, turning to look at him, hesitantly placing his hand over Tul’s.
That made Tul shake his head.
“By looking down on yourself, you’re also looking down on me.”
Kon Hin’s eyes widened further as he spun around in Tul’s embrace, lifting his gaze with a look that clearly conveyed he had never thought such a thing. Then he met Tul’s eyes—reflecting sunlight, turning them a golden hue—glistening and intimidating enough to make sweat bead in his palms.
“You’re my close companion. Don’t forget that we’re about to graduate. It won’t just be an ordinary student life anymore. My goal is to take control of everything under Metthanun. If you think even a room like this is unworthy of you, how can you possibly stand by my side?” Tul said with deliberate slowness, staring into Kon Hin’s trembling eyes. But he knew his close companion wasn’t shaken by the weight of the burden about to be placed on his shoulders. No, he was trembling at the word… stand by my side.
The mixed-heritage young man had decided from the beginning that the person who must watch his back was this loser. Yet it seemed that this loser failed to realize his own importance.
This room wasn’t even a fraction of the grandeur he envisioned for his future.
“I just… am not used to it.”
“My room’s far better than this,” Tul shook his head in exasperation.
Meanwhile, Kon Hin grabbed his Chao-nai's arm, glanced around the room, and confessed softly, “I’m used to things like this, but I’m not used to being the one using them.”
“Then get used to it.” Tul laughed, releasing his embrace before turning to grab both of their luggage bags.
“I’ll do it myself, Khun Tul! I’ll do it myself!” Kon Hin quickly rushed forward to take on his duty, but Tul shifted his shoulder to dodge him.
Their gazes met, and Tul uttered one word.
“Move.”
Kon Hin stepped back immediately, left only to watch the broad shoulders stride into the master bedroom. He hurried to follow, but it seemed his Chao-nai wasn’t done startling him. Kon Hin’s backpack was placed beside the bed in the master bedroom, next to Tul’s smaller bag, signaling that he was to stay in this room tonight. He wanted to protest, saying he should sleep in the smaller room, but the sharp eyes fixed on him made it clear no arguments would be entertained.
However, his hesitant glance out of the room caught Tul’s attention. Tul raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching upward.
“You think you should sleep in the smaller room?”
Drip, drip.
Kon Hin nodded without hesitation, prompting Tul to tilt his head in weary amusement before stepping closer.
Tul’s warm palm rested against Kon Hin’s tan cheek, sliding down to his chin. His thumb brushed against the thin lips, feeling the slight tremble in his companion’s frame. Tul rubbed softly, his sharp gaze fixed on the lips without wavering. His handsome face then leaned in closer.
“Last night, weren’t you the one who wanted me to kiss you more than that?”
Kon Hin’s face burned at the memory of clutching his Chao-nai’s neck, shamefully begging for kisses.
His embarrassment was written all over his expression and eyes, further lifting the mood of the usually cold Tul. Tul tilted his head, pressing a kiss to the corner of Kon Hin’s parted lips, nibbling the lower lip, and firmly deepening the contact before trailing his attention to Kon Hin’s ear.
“Tonight, I’ll kiss you until the birthday boy is satisfied.”
Kon Hin trembled all over, watching as his Chao-nai stepped back a pace, his hand now rubbing his own ear gingerly.
“I’ll give you some time to collect yourself. In about an hour, we’ll head out to find something to eat.”
Tul smiled, ruffled Kon Hin’s hair a few times, and then left the bedroom. Kon Hin, left with far more than he had ever received in his life, stood frozen in place, though his legs had turned weak, forcing him to stumble toward the bed and sit at its edge.
Kon Hin raised both hands to cover his burning face, rubbing it firmly to regain composure. Yet all he could see in his mind was his Chao-nai’s smile, imprinted deeply.
This was only the beginning of the trip, yet Kon Hin already felt as though he had died and been reborn countless times. He had no idea how these three days would end or how far his pounding heart would fall.
This time, Tul wasn’t tormenting his body but rather his small, overworked heart.
“I’m going to die,” Kon Hin whispered to himself.
Yes, his heart was surely going to fail.
At the same time, Tul stretched out on the sofa, his body relaxing after hours of driving. A wide smile appeared as he glanced toward the slightly open bedroom door. However, the person inside was not visible. Even as he closed his eyes, Tul could still picture his subordinate’s frozen expression.
Acting cute, not matching yourself at all, huh.
Tul laughed softly to himself, thinking that this trip was already proving worthwhile.
Bzzz… Bzzz…
The sudden, faint vibration of his phone broke the moment, and he reached for it. The name on the screen was Napawadi. Tul’s gaze turned cold as he stared at it. Without hesitation, he powered the phone off with complete indifference.
This isn’t the time to put on a pleasant face for another woman.
~~~
If someone had asked Kon Hin how he felt right now, he would have described it as a balance between being sent to heaven or kicked down to hell.
After resting in the room for an hour, during which Kon Hin continuously wondered whether he was dreaming, Tul came to fetch him and brought the man—still unsure whether he was in reality or a dream—to a famous seafood restaurant. The place was bustling with tourists, even on a weekday like this.
“Eat,” Tul commanded.
“Aren’t you eating, Khun Tul?”
The table was overflowing with seafood—far too much for just two people. There were large grilled prawns, plump steamed crabs packed with roe, stir-fried squid with salted egg, and crab-based chili dip served with a huge platter of fresh vegetables, a giant pot of seafood tom yum soup, and a bowl of plain rice.
To top it off, Tul even served food onto Kon Hin’s plate.
This was exactly what made Kon Hin wonder whether he was in heaven or hell.
Kon Hin was so overwhelmed with happiness that he dared not believe this was real. Sitting down to eat together, being cared for, seeing those brown eyes focused solely on him, and being the only recipient of Tul’s smile—it felt like he was standing in heaven. But because he knew Tul too well, he feared this might be nothing more than a staged scene.
Although he didn’t understand why Tul was doing this, the mere thought that it might not be genuine tortured him as though he were in hell.
He didn’t want to dwell on it. He wanted to let his heart rest. But he couldn’t help himself.
If Tul were this kind to Napawadi, Kon Hin wouldn’t be surprised. But for someone like him—a mere servant, the son of a driver—was it truly okay to accept such overwhelming kindness with a smile?
“I am eating... Now, open your mouth.”
Initially, Tul only served food onto Kon Hin’s plate. But now, a large prawn, already peeled and dipped in seafood sauce, was brought directly to Kon Hin’s lips. The servant flinched, startled, his gaze darting between the prawn and the one offering it, his expression utterly conflicted. Seeing this, Tul spoke again.
"Open your mouth."
"I can eat on my own, sir."
"Nai Hin."
That was enough to make Kon Hin immediately open his mouth, accepting the plump shrimp and chewing it with his cheeks puffed out.
"See, that's all."
Tul smiled with satisfaction, in stark contrast to Kon Hin, who almost raised his hand to rub his chest.
It's not just that! My heart is about to give out!
Kon Hin muttered to himself, then quickly peeled a large shrimp at lightning speed and placed it back on his Chao-nai's plate.
"Khun Tul, please eat as well," he said, trying to smile, though it came across as awkward. His smile froze entirely when the man across from him asked in a calm voice.
"Did I put that shrimp on your plate earlier?"
Tul alternated his gaze between the shrimp and Kon Hin’s frozen smile before shrugging.
"Never mind."
"N-No, sir, let me feed it to you instead!"
When his Chao-nai made a move to lower his head and continue eating, the birthday boy hastily stammered and grabbed the peeled shrimp, holding it up to Tul's lips with a pale face. This was in stark contrast to Tul, who smiled widely, his handsome face becoming even more striking. It wasn’t that Kon Hin didn’t want to feed him, but he was terrified that those around them would look at his Chao-nai with strange eyes—which seemed to be something the other man understood.
"Come this far, who would know me?"
Tul didn’t just say that. As he put the shrimp into his mouth, his large hand grabbed Kon Hin’s wrist, and he licked the finger that had been stained with the shrimp dipping sauce without any hint of disgust. This made the one feeding him stiffen.
"Khun Tul!" Once Kon Hin found his voice, he called out in disbelief, pulling his hand back as if it were from something hot. He looked at the man, who was chuckling low in his throat, licking his lips.
The sight made the one who was close feel a heat rush to his face.
"Do you want to lick my fingers too?" Tul asked jokingly, but the listener immediately looked down.
Today, Khun Tul... is strange.
But it was a kind of strange that made Kon Hin’s heart race all the time, so he could only lower his head, peeling the shrimp with trembling hands.
"You peel it and eat it too. Don’t try to please me. I already told you, this is your birthday trip."
Just as he was about to place the shrimp back on his Chao-nai's plate, Tul interrupted, followed by a kind smile that made the recipient’s mind go blank. The charming smile overwhelmed his senses, causing them to vanish in an instant. He could only nod stiffly, becoming like a robot who peeled the shrimp and tossed it into his mouth.
Yes, he was embarrassed. He was incredibly embarrassed.
Khun Tul said it was a birthday gift, but was this gift too much?
Kon Hin began to fear waking from this dream because it would feel like being kicked off from a great height. And right now, he was up too high.
"They must be a couple."
Thunk!
Suddenly, Kon Hin froze because he heard a faint voice from the table behind them, but he didn’t dare turn to look. He only knew that it was the voice of a man and a woman whispering to each other.
"Feeding each other like this… If they’re not a couple, they must be crazy." Then his body felt a chill.
Those two were talking about him and Khun Tul!
"What a pity, both are handsome."
Kon Hin shouldn’t have looked, but he couldn’t help but glance and make eye contact with the woman at that table, who quickly lowered her head to avoid his gaze. Unlike Kon Hin, whose face turned pale as he looked back at his Chao-nai, who appeared indifferent.
"Khun Tul, that table..."
"Just eat. The food isn't going to magically enter your stomach."
Tul didn’t seem bothered at all. He continued to scoop food onto Kon Hin’s plate casually.
"People will misunderstand." Kon Hin quickly warned, looking around anxiously, afraid someone who knew his Chao-nai might be nearby.
But...
"It’s not a misunderstanding."
"But they think we’re dating!"
Kon Hin argued, his voice faltering as he tried to point out how dangerous the situation was. But Tul just laughed out loud and countered.
"Do you want to be what they think we are?"
The dark-skinned young man felt uneasy, unable to speak. Yes, Kon Hin wanted it more than anything, but he knew it would never happen. Even being a lover was too much to hope for.
In reality, he was nothing more than a slave in bed.
If there ever was a day when he could be a boyfriend, a lover, it would be the most wonderful memory.
The intense feeling displayed on his face, with longing and tortured eyes, made Tul change his expression. His sharp features became serious as he leaned in.
"I told you I would indulge you."
Kon Hin remained silent, looking into the eyes before him with a heart full of pain.
But I can never be, can I? I will never be.
However, that thought shattered when Tul reached out and touched his cheek, speaking in a serious tone.
"If you want to be, I’ll make it happen."
"What I want to be... is your boyfriend." In the final part of the sentence, it seemed as though Kon Hin was choking back tears. Tul then moved his hand to hold Kon Hin’s, squeezing it tightly, sensing the pain that passed between them.
They both wanted something the same, but couldn’t show it to outsiders. Damn.
This time, Tul had an excuse.
"Three days, Hin. Three days."
"Three days." Kon Hin looked at him with eyes filled with tears, then closed them.
"My boyfriend. Yes, we are a couple."
Kon Hin held back his tears, his shoulders trembling. He could feel Tul’s hand squeezing tightly, so tightly it hurt, until Kon Hin flipped his hand and intertwined his fingers, pressing them together.
Three days would be enough for a dream-come-true.
Please, if this is a dream, don’t wake me up. I don’t want to wake up. I don’t want to face reality. I just want to stay in this beautiful dream forever, because reality will never happen. There’s no way I’ll ever be able to hold hands with this person.
Neither Kon Hin nor Tul could ever know that this birthday would become a precious memory that would nourish both their hearts on the day... of farewell.
~~~
"I'm so full I can't even walk anymore."
After attempting to finish the massive amount of food between them, Tul walked out of the restaurant and onto the beach. Luckily, the sky was overcast today, not raining, and the weather was calm enough for a leisurely walk in the late afternoon. Tul removed his shoes and walked barefoot across the fine sand without rushing, his sharp features looking relaxed, in contrast to the birthday boy, whose eyes were still red.
Tul wandered aimlessly, walking without a destination, with Kon Hin following behind.
"I haven’t been to the sea in how long?"
"About four years, sir."
Kon Hin answered, recalling the last time Tul visited the sea, which was when Khun Trai brought Tul along for the launch of a new business in the South. Tul nodded in acknowledgment.
"That masked event," Kon Hin couldn’t see Tul’s expression, but the tone sounded mocking.
Then, Tul continued speaking. "I think I first saw the sea when I was thirteen."
For a child born into a wealthy family, that seemed like a late age compared to others who traveled since they were little. Some might have gone abroad even as infants, but Tul was trapped in that mansion as an unwanted heir. It wasn't until he proved himself capable—showing off his talents and becoming a symbol of status—that he was given the chance to see the world like others did.
So, his first visit to the sea wasn't a joyful memory, but one filled with resentment at what this man had gone through.
Once again, Kon Hin felt sorrow for his Chao-nai.
Kon Hin once thought that if he weren’t just a servant, if he weren’t merely the son of a driver, if he weren't just Kon Hin, he would take that boy out of that house. He would do the things he longed to do, give the love he so desired. He wanted to be the one to comfort his Chao-nai's soul. All he could do though was be here, beside him every day.
No matter how painful or tormenting it was, he still wanted to be here... next to Khun Tul.
"I owe you."
The listener froze, lifting his gaze to look at the other, but Tul didn’t turn to face him. He simply spoke in a serious tone.
"If it weren't for you, I might have died in that house long ago."
Perhaps he would have died the day he was kidnapped. The only thing that kept Tul strong was the desire to see Kon Hin again, to see his friend, who he had no idea how he was doing.
Kon Hin didn’t realize how important he was.
If Khun Tul Metthanun had no Khun Pathapee, the boy who had only known pain, rejection, disdain, and oppression since childhood might have lost his mind a long time ago. But every time, Kon Hin was there. He didn’t care if Tul’s grandmother punished him, hit him, scolded him, or how much he was scorned. Kon Hin always remained determined to stay beside this person.
Although Tul pretended not to acknowledge Hin's significance, his heart had always known.
Kon Hin was someone Tul could not do without.
"Stop thinking about things you don't deserve. Stop thinking about it altogether. I should have done this for you a long time ago... you deserve it," Tul turned to face him and spoke with a serious tone.
"You need to stay with me forever, understand?"
That was something Kon Hin also desired.
His thoughts were consumed by the sharp, chiseled face, his gaze dropping to the sand that covered his feet. His eyes flicked to something, and he bent down to pick it up... a stone.
An ordinary stone, round and smooth, like those you could find on the street, worthless and insignificant. He held the stone out to his Chao-nai.
"Even if I’m just a worthless stone?"
Tul stared at the object in his hand. His sharp eyes gleamed as his large hand reached out to take it, spinning it in his fingers.
For a moment, Kon Hin thought that the other would throw it into the sea or toss it back onto the sand, but instead, Tul smiled... a smile sent his way... a gentle smile that wasn’t a mask like the ones he usually wore.
"It’s all about how people see it," Tul said as he tossed the stone into the air, catching it with one hand. Then he turned and continued walking along the endless beach.
"I prefer the weight of this stone in my hand more than the diamond pressed against my finger."
Everyone values things differently, and Tul would not exchange anything to turn that stone into someone else. Being this stone was just right.
As he continued walking, his thoughts were interrupted by an order.
"Then hurry up and walk faster. I don't want to be the crazy person talking to themselves."
At that, Kon Hin quickly caught up, walking beside his Chao-nai instead of trailing behind as usual. They walked together along the beach, aimlessly, without a word spoken. But neither of them wanted this moment to end.
This was a time when it was truly just the two of them.
Kon Hin told himself that this would be a birthday he would never forget.
The day he stood beside Khun Tul, not just a shadow watching from behind as usual.
Now, he wished for this beach... to stretch out endlessly.
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