"Good morning, Khun Tul."
"Hmm, sleep a bit longer."
Tul thought his vision was unusual or the world was spinning in a strange way, because this morning, when he opened his eyes to greet the dawn, the first thing he saw was a familiar face that he had seen since childhood, and those pitch-black eyes that were so familiar to his heart. The one closest to him smiled at him, greeting him with a blissful smile. He then realized that the sky seemed brighter than usual, and his heart... was strangely trembling.
This made the mixed-heritage young man pull the person lying beside him into his embrace, then closed his eyes.
"We have class today."
"When I go, it's okay if I'm a little late," Tul whispered, sliding his hand to stroke the hair of the person in his embrace and realized that something really was different.
It wasn't just his vision, but also his feelings.
Yesterday was the day he woke up in the morning with Napawadi, and it was the day Tul felt the most disgusted with himself in his life. Sleeping with that woman made Tul feel horrible, but having Kon Hin back in his embrace today made him smile. His heart, which was burning like it was being scorched, was immediately cooled by the cold water as soon as he met those black eyes.
Since the moment Tul brought Kon Hin back from Nakrob's house, he refused to let the one closest to him out of his sight. He wouldn't let him go back to the small house. He wouldn't let him lie down beside the bed. He refused. He wouldn’t even allow him to bathe alone, because of the words...
"...Let me go, please..."
So intense that he feared it might happen for real every second.
Last night, they didn’t do anything at all. Not even talk. There was only the embrace in which Tul held the person whose body wasn’t soft, whose skin wasn’t fragrant, and who had rough hair that irritated the skin, but it was the most warmth he had ever felt from anyone.
Yesterday, he had to swallow the urge to stroke Napawadi’s hair to comfort her, but today, he could stroke Kon Hin’s head all day long if he wanted.
"I have to go down and work," Kon Hin said, although he objected, Tul's closest person pressed his body closer, hugging Tul's waist in return.
"What do you have to do?" Tul asked with his eyes still closed and a wide smile.
"I promised my father I would help wash the cars."
"All of them?"
"Yes, all of them."
Tul opened his eyes again and saw the dry smile of the person who seemed reluctant to get up as well, but didn’t want to break his promise to his father. He felt confused with himself, as his desire to be selfish and to spoil the other person clashed in his heart. When he looked into those black eyes, still bruised from crying so hard yesterday, Tul slid his finger to the corner of Kon Hin’s eye, then leaned forward to gently kiss his eyelid.
"Go ahead."
He wanted to spoil him.
This side won decisively.
Tul now understood why someone like Nakrob would soften towards Kon Hin. Yesterday, Tul was so angry he nearly broke the door down to get in, and when the door opened, Nakrob gave him a thorough scolding. But the moment Kon Hin locked eyes with Nakrob, he stopped everything, ruffling Kon Hin’s head forcefully.
Then, with an annoyed tone, Rob said...
"You can go back now, you fucking shit-lizards."
Sometimes, it wasn’t Nakrob who was acting strangely. It might have been Tul himself who had never noticed that just a glance from these terribly pitiful eyes could soften his heart so easily. Or maybe he had been pretending not to see it all along, because once he did...
"Fine, I'll go help wash the cars too." It wasn’t just about spoiling him; he wanted to help as well.
"I can wash them myself," Kon Hin said, his eyes wide.
"You’ve got a lot to do, Khun Tul..."
"But I want to spend time with you."
Thud!
That was it. Kon Hin fell silent, blinking several times before looking down.
"Khun Tul, you don’t have to do this."
"Do what?" Tul asked, his voice deep.
"This, like this. Yesterday, I lost my mind a little. But I won’t go anywhere. I’ll still work to serve you as always. So please just be yourself. Order me like you always have. Do the things you’ve always done."
The listener felt irritated because he hadn’t even begun doing anything for his closest person, yet Kon Hin was already resisting. But the reason for his silence was because he noticed the red cheeks of the person who was trying to avoid his gaze as much as possible. When Tul stared long enough, Kon Hin finally admitted softly, almost as quietly as a mosquito buzzing by.
"Otherwise, I'll definitely get cocky."
"Then go ahead and get cocky."
"Khun Tul." Kon Hin objected, but that made Tul grab the back of his neck, forcing him to tilt his head back to make eye contact.
"Do whatever you want, as long as you’re like this, in my arms like this." Suddenly, Tul spoke in a trembling voice, a stark contrast to the man who had always been strong.
It showed that the strength he had displayed all his life was a facade. As long as his closest person wasn’t by his side, Tul was nothing but a vessel holding onto resentment. The only reason he still maintained his composure and humanity was because of Kon Hin.
Now Tul realized that his greatest fear wasn’t the cold, hateful gaze of his grandmother, but the thought of this person disappearing. So, the moment he realized Kon Hin was thinking of leaving, he couldn’t stand it. He was ready to abandon everything just to bring him back to where he belonged.
"Khun Tul."
"Shut up! I’m not talking anymore."
"Mm!"
The thought of leaning in to kiss the well-shaped lips, feeling Kon Hin’s hesitation, only lasted a few seconds. Kon Hin then wrapped his arms around his neck, returning the warm touch willingly, easing Tul’s heart.
Today, Tul had no intention of being harsh. He simply touched as his heart desired.
Tul closed his eyes, touching the other person as gently as possible, listening to the moans that escaped both of their lips. He turned his face to make the embrace even tighter, even closer. He then gently pushed the person in his arms back down to lie on the soft bed, still not pulling away from Kon Hin’s embrace.
He had just realized how good it felt for the strong hand of his closest person to gently stroke his hair. When compared to Wadi’s small, delicate hand that had grasped his hair, the difference was undeniable.
Tul slowly pulled away, gazing at the flushed face and the teary eyes of the other person before closing his own eyes and pressing his forehead against theirs.
The matter concerning Wadi had to remain a secret for life.
Tul growled, ordering himself in a stern voice, his shoulders trembling with guilt.
Kon Hin, misunderstanding the situation completely, hurriedly hugged his Chao-nai’s shoulder tightly, hurriedly speaking.
"I’m here. As long as you need me, I’ll stay right here."
That made Tul tighten his embrace around Kon Hin’s waist protectively.
Why had he only just realized this now?
"Then there will never be a time when I don’t need you."
Why had he only just realized how much he needed Kon Hin?
~~~
"Phii Hin, I miss you so much."
"Uh, hello, Nong Rose."
At that moment, Kon Hin felt a chill down his spine. Before he could even sit down in the cafeteria, the beautiful junior had rushed over to greet him with a sweet smile, completely ignoring the person he was with. His golden-brown eyes flashed, but Tul remained silent, simply staring intently.
"How are you, Phii Hin? You were so drunk the other day. Oh, your face is red," Rose asked with concern, extending her hand to touch his cheek and measure his temperature. But...
Snatch!
Tul grabbed Kon Hin's neck and pulled him into his embrace, narrowly avoiding the hand of the younger girl.
"Oh, Phii Tul is here too? I thought a group of evil people had gathered here," Rose was stunned for a moment before flashing another sweet smile, greeting the senior who was respected by everyone in the university. She had even told her close friend that Phii Tul was a master of creating an image, only for her friend to scold her and tell her that it was wrong to take her disappointment with Phii Hin out on Phii Tul.
"Nong Rose," Kon Hin called out awkwardly. If it weren't for his discomfort, she would never have stopped.
"Yes, Phii Hin?"
"About that day..." Kon Hin fell silent, switching his gaze between the two people before deciding to stand up.
"I’ll go talk to Nong Rose for a moment."
"Go ahead."
Rose was utterly surprised when Tul allowed it, because she had heard from Nakrob that the two had already made up. Moreover, Phii Tul had refused to let Phii Rob get close to Kon Hin. So why now? Why was he allowing her, who had deceived him before, to speak with him alone?
"Phii Tul?"
As soon as Kon Hin stood up, Tul followed suit. And when Kon Hin started walking, Tul walked right behind him.
Kon Hin called out, his voice filled with discomfort, unlike Rose, who asked curtly, "Why are you following me?"
"Well, isn’t it my business where I go?" Tul said with a gentle, kind smile, making Rose scowl in response.
Such a damn faker. Just the other day, he was shouting at me.
"I just need to talk to Nong Rose for a moment."
"Well, talk then. I'll stand here."
Tul casually pulled out his phone and opened the internet to kill time, but his peripheral vision was still fixed on the beautiful woman with a look... of threat.
"Just ignore him, Phii Hin. Men who are possessive are always like this," Rose said dismissively, even though Nakrob had already warned her not to mess with Tul, as an unspoken danger could befall her. But Rose defiantly lifted her chin, unfazed by the darkening glare in Tul's eyes and the ominous aura emanating from his towering figure.
"Do you have something to talk to me about, Phii Hin?" Rose then sweetly smiled at the other man.
Even though Kon Hin felt awkward in the tense atmosphere between the two, Tul’s insistence on following him gave him the courage to speak directly to his younger colleague.
"I’m sorry for everything."
"For what?" Rose asked, smiling. "For getting drunk that day or for not returning my feelings?"
"Both," Kon Hin answered honestly, lowering his head in shame.
He remembered crying in front of the young woman, showing his weakness and telling her about his miserable situation. Yet, Rose still treated him the same, looked at him the same, and smiled at him just as she always did. Kon Hin felt deeply touched by her. If possible, he would have liked to continue being like siblings with her forever, but that seemed difficult.
However...
"It's okay, I don't hold a grudge."
"Thank you, thank you so much," Kon Hin said, his eyes wide, speaking rapidly. The beautiful girl smiled even wider and poked her chest with a finger.
"Because I know now that Phii Hin is just foolish," Rose said cheerfully, glancing at the other man who was quietly listening.
"Phii Hin just picked someone bad to love, and I know now that you’re a bit foolish. You’re not suited for someone as smart as me. So, I’d like to apply to be your little sister instead. That way, I can help my foolish older brother... Like that would be better, right?" she said confidently, looking into his eyes with sincerity.
This made Kon Hin smile despite being called foolish. Not only did he not get angry, but he even felt grateful to her. Rose knew exactly how to make him feel better. This girl didn’t insult anyone or remind them of their mistakes. No matter who was near, everyone felt at ease.
"I know," he replied. "You’ll find the smart guy who’s perfect for someone as smart and beautiful as you."
He couldn’t be that person for her, but he was sure there were many men who would want to be loved by this girl.
"Thank you for the kind words," Rose said. "Well, I should go now. My friends are waiting." She forced a sweet smile for the coolest senior as usual, looking at him and smiling at the other man, before quickly walking away.
Even though she felt angry and hated Tul for making Kon Hin so miserable, she couldn’t deny that the person who had made him smile was the same man. No matter how hard she tried, she would never be able to do that.
She turned and walked quickly, leaving the place before she could accidentally cry and make the wicked man feel pitiful.
Snap!
Rose hadn't taken many steps when her wrist was grabbed, causing her heart to race. She thought Kon Hin had followed her, but...
The golden-brown eyes, gleaming like a predator eyeing its prey, locked onto her, and Tul leaned in close to whisper in her ear with such gentleness that girls would likely scream in delight.
However, his words were the complete opposite of his demeanor.
"Don’t even think you’ll get the position of little sister with him."
Tul pulled away slowly, flashing a smile and speaking in a voice that was surprisingly pleasant.
"I hope you understand, Rose."
With that, Tul turned back to Kon Hin, who was waiting with an uneasy expression. But as soon as he said something, Kon Hin smiled and turned to offer a smile to the now stunned girl before walking alongside him back to the cafeteria. Only Tul turned around to look at Rose with a... cruel smile.
He threatened her!
"Bloody hell!" Rose muttered angrily, feeling frustrated because she... was scared.
The moment their eyes met, it felt like she was about to be killed. It was as if those eyes were knives, ready to stab into her body and ensure she bled out slowly and painfully. It made Rose tremble, but soon, that fear was replaced by anger.
Who did that man think he was to threaten her!?!
Rose fumed in irritation. If it weren’t for Kon Hin loving that jerk so much, she would have done everything she could to expose the wicked mask he wore. But seeing the joy in Kon Hin's eyes, his smile widening, Rose couldn’t bring herself to do anything.
If he is happy, then she is happy too.
"Damned heroine." Rose whispered to herself, her eyes welling with tears.
She swore she would find a better man, one where she could truly be the real heroine. On that day, she could look at Kon Hin as the perfect older brother without any reservations.
"But that jerk pisses me off so much! Damn it!"
As for today, she cried out of sheer frustration!
~~~
Although weeks had passed since the incident on the boss's birthday, Kon Hin still couldn't bring himself to accept what happened. He couldn't bear to see Tul with another woman.
That night, an absurd thought crossed his mind—he wanted to leave the side of this man. In reality, Kon Hin didn't know if he could ever do such a thing. Just the thought of it made him tremble with fear.
So, he began to wonder if, if the boss chose Napawadi, would he be able to remain hidden in the same shadow as before? But the answer was unclear.
The jealousy he felt that day made Kon Hin not want to think about anything else.
"Khun Tul, Khun Wadi is calling."
Thus, every time Kon Hin saw the name on the boss's phone screen, he was inexplicably filled with dread. He still believed he wasn't worthy of the closeness the boss had given him over the past week, but at the same time, he didn’t want the other person to return to that beautiful woman.
Napawadi did nothing wrong. I’m the one who’s at fault.
"Leave it like that," Tul shouted from the bathroom, reinforcing that thought in Kon Hin’s mind.
Kon Hin's feelings towards the beautiful woman trying to contact the boss were ones of sympathy. He knew exactly how she felt. If he couldn’t contact Khun Tul, he would probably suffer just the same. But he remained the same generous man, sending a smile to the boss and telling him to go to Miss Wadi instead.
That image was too painful to bear.
No matter how guilty Kon Hin felt, he pressed the mute button and turned the phone face down.
I'm sorry, Khun Wadi. I can't give him to you this time.
The boss had allowed him to love, and he couldn’t let that opportunity slip away.
Click!
Kon Hin stood lost in thought until the bathroom door opened. He turned to look in the direction of the sound, seeing the owner of the room, wrapped only in a towel, walking toward him.
"What the hell is with your face?" Tul chuckled, and then...
Snap!
Kon Hin thought the boss was surprised by his sudden move, walking up and hugging him without permission, just like every other time. But after a moment, the strong embrace wrapped around him in return. He felt the warm lips press against his temple, the cool body pressing close, leaving no space between them.
"What’s wrong, hmm?"
“Nothing, sir,” Kon Hin shook his head but rested his chin on the other's shoulder, closing his eyes to absorb the tenderness into his heart.
“Are you cuddling me or what?”
“If Khun Tul thinks I’m cuddling, then I guess I am,” Kon Hin replied softly, genuinely meaning it.
He didn’t even know why he was doing it—just that being in his Chao-nai's arms felt so very good.
“Then go ahead and cuddle me. I’ve just realized being cuddled feels pretty nice,” Tul remarked, not stopping at words.
He gently swayed Kon Hin’s body and couldn’t resist pressing another kiss to his temple. His sharp eyes briefly glanced at the phone lying face down on the table, unlike how it was positioned before he had gone to the bathroom, but he chose to ignore it. Instead, he tightened his embrace around Kon Hin.
“But are you sure just cuddling is enough?” Tul asked in a relaxed, teasing tone, prompting the person in his arms to lift his face.
“Can I ask for more than that, sir?”
Thud!
Damn it!
Tul roared inwardly. He had thought many times that Kon Hin was cute, but nothing had ever made him lose his composure as much as this moment—when Kon Hin looked up to meet his gaze with eyes tinged with desire, his cheeks faintly red, nervously licking his lower lip, but without hesitation as he leaned closer and lightly kissed Tul’s lips.
“Can I ask…for more, sir?”
Kon Hin repeated his words, and that was all it took for Tul to loosen his embrace—only to yank him towards the bed.
Thump!
Tul's close companion was flung down to lie flat on the soft bed as Tul yanked away the towel wrapped around his waist and discarded it. He climbed on top of the large bed, his tall frame looming over Kon Hin. His sharp eyes gleamed with intensity as Kon Hin raised his arms, awaiting the embrace that was about to engulf him.
Tul dove in, his burning lips capturing the irresistibly sweet ones that had begged so fervently. Their bodies pressed against each other in a feverish intensity.
Neither of them paused to think for even a second. Kon Hin aided Tul in removing his own clothing, casting it aside before clutching desperately at the other man. Their lips met repeatedly, over and over, as if drawn together by an unrelenting magnetic force. Their bare bodies rubbed together, instinctively knowing what to do to bring each other pleasure.
Everything was fast, fiery, and relentless, their low moans resonating throughout the expansive room.
"Ask me again. Ask me for more, much more."
“Love me more, Khun Tul. Love me hard. Love me.”
Amid the forceful movements of the two men, the cries for love pierced through the sound of the bed frame knocking against the floor. Desperate, pleading, filled with love and passion, their voices intertwined, urging Tul to plunge into his companion repeatedly, claiming Kon Hin as his own.
“I’ll love you until there’s nothing left of me!”
For the first time, Tul confessed that he also wanted to belong to Kon Hin.
~~~
Days had passed, yet Kon Hin couldn’t forget that night spent with his Chao-nai. It wasn’t just that one night; every night since then, Tul demanded more and more until it became a routine for Kon Hin to wake up in his Chao-nai’s arms rather than in his own bed.
But happiness is never everlasting.
Bang! Bang!
"Khun Tul, Khun Tul, are you awake? Khun Tul."
This morning, Kon Hin startled awake and quickly got dressed because the person pounding on the door was his mother. In contrast, Tul leisurely put on his trousers and strolled over to open the door for the head chef.
"Khun Tul, have you seen the news? It’s about Khun Tinn. Something has happened to Khun Tinn." Klin handed Khun-chai Tul the newspaper with a distressed expression.
"The house staff picked up the morning paper and saw the news about Khun Tinn. I haven’t informed Khun Trai or Khun Madam yet, but reporters are already calling for interviews. What should we do?" Klin asked, flustered and anxious, while Tul calmly unfolded the newspaper to read.
"Famous socialite caught using drugs abroad..."
The headline loomed boldly above a photo of a young man with his face obscured by a black bar, causing Tul’s eyes to widen further.
"Tinn?"
"Yes, Khun Tul. The news says Khun Tinn was caught using drugs and was arrested by the police last night. What should we do?"
"Aunt Klin, please stay calm. I’ll go inform Khun Mother. Aunt Klin, please notify Father. We’ll figure out something. Trust me," Tul said firmly, placing his hands on the head chef’s shoulders.
Klin nodded quickly and ran toward Trai’s bedroom, now separate from Rasa’s.
Then, only the two of them remained.
"Khun Tul, you shouldn’t do this," Kon Hin said, his voice barely above a whisper.
"What did I do?" Tul turned back to meet his gaze.
"This is your doing, isn’t it? You’re the one who framed Khun Tinn," Kon Hin said with difficulty. From the moment Tul calmly unfolded the newspaper, Kon Hin had known. He had seen the glimmer of satisfaction in Tul’s eyes.
"He is the only person who matters to you," Kon Hin reiterated the same words.
"No!" Tul retorted, striding quickly to stand directly in front of Kon Hin.
"You’re the one who matters. I don’t need anyone else. Just you alone," Tul declared. He brushed Kon Hin’s hair back, revealing the scar above his confidant’s eyebrow. His fingertips lightly traced the scar, in stark contrast to the resolute tone of his deep voice.
"I won’t let him destroy what’s important to me. Never again!"
Tul pulled Kon Hin into a tight embrace before letting him go.
"I didn’t do anything to him. He brought this on himself."
Their eyes met—one pair steady and unwavering, the other filled with doubt and unease.
Tul then released Kon Hin, grabbed the newspaper, and walked out of the room. He headed straight to his stepmother’s bedroom, bowing his head to hide the satisfied smile spreading across his face as he heard Rasa’s anguished, heart-wrenching scream.
Everything will be mine.
A thought entirely at odds with Kon Hin’s. His confidant sank onto the edge of the bed, burying his face in his hands in profound distress.
"Please, stop this. Don’t do this anymore."
He didn’t want Khun Tul to pursue vengeance any longer. He couldn’t bear to see this man suffer. Kon Hin believed that Tul’s actions against his younger brother this time would have a massive impact on him.
Because even though Tul claimed indifference toward his brother, in Hin's mind Khun Tinn was still the only family Tul truly loved. But it was both love and hatred at the same time.
You don’t want to do this. You don’t want to do this. The thoughts of the one holding the scar on his face, tormenting his heart.
Neither of them noticed Tul’s phone blinking, revealing a message from Wadi on the screen: I have something to tell P’Tul.
Sometimes, one wrong step can lead to a path that holds no hope at all.
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