Chapter 11: The Heart Without an Answer

"It wasn’t worth spending millions for a child no one wanted. It wasn’t worth spending millions for the life of someone on the brink of death."

"Must have been a misunderstanding. The child in Rasa’s womb is the first grandchild of this family."

"I am the winner! Take that knowledge with you to hell!"

"I am the winner..."

"I..."

~~~

"Khun Tul, sir."

"Khun Tul."

Within a renowned temple, where the funeral rites for the matriarch of the family were being held...

Metthanun.

One of the male workers, who had been laboring since 4 AM upon hearing the news of the passing of one of the masters of the family, finally found a moment to breathe after the distinguished guests gradually departed from the grand ceremony. The event, though arranged in just one day, had been conducted with impeccable grandeur befitting the family's status.

Once he had a chance, Kon Hin rushed to meet his true Chao-nai and found Khun Tul unnervingly silent.

The atmosphere around the first son of the Metthanun family had visibly changed. The young man of mixed heritage had never projected an aura so stifling, as though an immense wall now stood between him and everyone else. Normally, Tul exuded a welcoming presence, but today, no one dared approach him.

Even Kon Hin, upon calling out to him, sensed something amiss.

There was no response.

It wasn’t a deliberate silence to pressure anyone but rather the kind of quiet that felt as though his Chao-nai was no longer present, his mind wandering somewhere unreachable. No matter how many times he called, the tall figure in the jet-black suit remained seated in the same spot, silent since the monks had begun their chanting until the ceremony concluded.

The young man of mixed heritage didn’t move, didn’t greet the guests, and sat motionless like a lifeless statue. Everyone assumed Tul was grieving, so no one dared to approach him.

But the one person who knew better stood nearby, leaning slightly to clearly observe his Chao-nai’s sharp features.

Tul’s expression remained impassive, yet deep within his striking eyes, it was as though a massive storm raged, swallowing everything that came too close.

But Kon Hin wasn’t afraid of this destructive force. He was more concerned—worried that it was Khun Tul himself who might end up destroying his own being.

"Khun Tul, sir."

This time, a large hand rested on a shoulder and squeezed gently, awakening someone lost in deep thought. Sharp eyes blinked before turning to face the one calling him.

"The ceremony has concluded for today, Khun Tul."

"Is that so? It's over, then?"

"Yes, Khun Tul. Shall we head back? You must be very tired."

Tul paused for a moment—a moment that left Pathapee barely able to breathe. He could only stare into those eyes, unreadable in their thoughts. Now, those same eyes turned away to fix on the large portrait of the deceased. Silent... unmoving... before he slowly rose to his feet.

"What about the others?"

"They left a moment ago, sir."

"I see."

Tul gave a slight derisive smile and spoke calmly.

"Such pitiable tears."

Pathapee did not respond, but his thoughts turned to the image of Khun Phuying, who had wept throughout the ceremony. No matter who came to offer their condolences, her eyes always shimmered with tears. Yet when the deceased had been critically ill, she had never visited her—not even once.

Such actions only deepened Kon Hin's concern. Everyone around his Chao-nai seemed to worsen Khun Tul's fragile state.

He had never understood the lives of the wealthy. He had not since the day his Chao-nai had been kidnapped for ransom, and no one—except for Trai—had shown any genuine alarm over the matter.

Why was that? Even if Khun Tul had not been born of the woman they desired, he was still their grandchild, a child innocent of any wrongdoing.

Why had they burdened this child with their bitterness, never considering the consequences of such actions?

That made Kon Hin refrain from complaining, no matter how much harm he endured.

Khun Tul was not at fault. The ones at fault were the adults, all of them, who had never cared for this angel, instead transforming him into a demon.

Khun Tul had no one. Khun Tul had only him.

This thought drove Kon Hin to do everything for this man.

Tul stepped into the car, but his sharp eyes remained fixed on the pavilion at the temple. Both hands clenched into fists.

Khun Tul might act as if he felt nothing, but this man had been in pain his entire life, from childhood to adulthood. To Kon Hin, everything Khun Tul had done was the action of a child crying out for his grandmother’s attention, trying to remind her that he was still her grandchild... still the grandson she had cast aside.

"Do you remember when I was kidnapped?"

Suddenly, the usually silent man spoke, prompting the listener to respond.

"I remember, sir."

"Did I ever tell you that those bloody scoundrels whispered in my ear every day that I was worthless, that I had no value? Even my own grandmother wouldn’t pay a ransom for a child like me. They even wondered if I was a child they had picked up off the street. Funny, isn’t it? If I had been a child they had picked up, it might have been better. At least then, I would have known I had no rights in this family."

But that was not the truth. Khun Tul had secretly used the results of Khun-than's bloodwork to verify their familial connection years ago, and Khun Tul Metthanun was, without a doubt, the legitimate grandson.

"I've been waiting for this moment my whole life," said the mixed-heritage young man, his fists clenched so tightly his knuckles turned white.

"The moment she left this world. The moment I became the winner… Am I the winner now?"

The victor's eyes were bloodshot, still fixed unwaveringly on the grand pavilion, a sight so unbearable it pained the onlooker.

"Did you hear that, Khun Yaa? I've won against you. I'm the one still here, not you!" Khun Tul spoke as if addressing the departed, yet the man who had vowed never to shed a tear for that old woman let clear drops of water overflow from his reddened eyes. His deep voice, filled with bitterness, trembled slightly, but deep within, what he felt was… sorrow.

Even on the day that woman left this world, she refused to acknowledge him as her grandson.

"You’re not worth my tears, someone like you!"

Snap!

The observer could take no more. It was Kon Hin who moved first, pulling the mixed-heritage young man into a hug. He drew the statue-still figure closer, the man whose mouth denied his pain, yet whose tears refused to cease. Because now… it was too late for that woman to finally admit he was her grandson.

Perhaps, deep down, Khun Tul only wanted to hear one sentence: Tul, you are my grandson.

A single sentence, awaited for over twenty years, yet never once spoken.

"You still have me, Khun Tul," Kon Hin said softly.

Kon Hin might not have been worth much, but he wanted his Chao-nai to know that even if the entire world turned its back on him, he would be the one to stay. He would be the one to share and ease the pain of this man.

Snap!

Khun Tul turned around and grabbed his close companion by the neck, pulling him into a hug. The man, who had restrained his emotions throughout the ceremony, now let his tears soak into the white shirt of Pathapee. Both of his shoulders tensed, as if to say... the person who appeared not to be grieving might actually be the one who was hurting the most.

~~~

Inside the passenger terminal, Khun Pathapee was looking past a large group of European tourists, ignoring the gaze of the blonde woman who was glancing at the handsome Thai man with interest. It wasn’t because he was just there for work, but because the important person he was waiting for had been delayed for over an hour, which made the young man feel increasingly anxious.

Therefore, more important than becoming the object of attention from the foreign woman was the fact that the thirteen-year-old boy still hadn’t shown up, not even as a shadow.

At that moment, his mobile phone rang, and as he hurried to pick it up, the name that appeared on the screen caused him to pause.

"Hello, Khun Mother."

"Where is Tinn?"

"Tinn hasn’t come out yet."

"What? How could he still not be out? The plane landed a long time ago. Was there a delay?"

"No announcement has been made, it should have landed on schedule."

"Then why haven’t you found Tinn? I told you to send someone to pick him up. His father doesn’t believe it. If something happens to Tinn…"

The listener let out a quiet sigh when the other party continued to speak in a long string of words. It seemed that they wouldn't stop easily, and at times, he couldn't help but wonder, if they were so concerned about Khun Tinn, why hadn’t they come to pick him up themselves?

Because every time Khun Chai Lek was about to return to Thailand, the only person who would willingly spend hours on a plane, and then come back with his younger brother, was none other than his Chao-nai.

No matter what Khun Tul's intentions were, it wasn't strange, was it, that it made Khun Tinn respect his older brother more than his own parents?

Kon Hin sighed and his gaze was caught by someone stepping out.

"Khun Mother, I’ve found Khun Tinn."

His sharp eyes looked at a young boy wearing large headphones, carrying a brand-name backpack as he walked out from the door. Even though they hadn’t seen each other in over a year, Kon Hin instantly recognized the thirteen-year-old boy traveling alone.

"Khun Tinn."

Kon Hin didn’t hesitate to step in front of the boy, who seemed uninterested in his surroundings. The boy lowered the headphones from his ears and glanced up, revealing... a handsome and aloofly prideful face.

The young man standing in front of Pathapee was Khun Tinn Metthanun, the youngest son of Khun Trai. Though only thirteen years old, he was tall and slender, with a demeanor almost identical to his older brother. The only difference was his face, which was purely Asian, without any foreign blood, and his eyes... proud, aloof, and willful.

Khun Chai Tinn, born amidst piles of wealth and the joy of everyone in the household.

"Hey Kon Hin, where’s my brother?"

Tinn called Kon Hin’s name bluntly, without regard for the fact that the person picking him up was older than him.

"Right now, Khun Tul is busy with the funeral arrangements for Khun-than."

The listener had grown used to this behavior, offering only a faint smile as he reached out to take the single piece of luggage. However, it seemed that this response wasn't what Tinn had wanted, as his sharp face, which one could predict would become even more handsome in the next five years, twisted into a frown.

He asked in a slightly irritated tone: "You're not coming to pick me up?"

"Khun Tul wanted to come himself, but he really couldn't make it."

"Such a mess-up," the young man pouted.

"A mess-up about what, sir?"

Tinn shrugged slightly but willingly explained.

"I spent hours sitting in there, planning to get back at my brother a little, but this way, it’s like I didn’t get back at him at all."

"Get back at him for what?"

The listener gave a faint smile, watching the young man talk about getting back at his older brother, but when he spoke of his Chao-nai, there was only a mixture of longing and a slight bitterness.

Then, as soon as asked, Tinn spoke out abruptly. "Well, he didn’t answer my calls."

"Huh?"

"Not answering means not answering. He didn’t come to visit, didn’t call either. He used to call every day, but now he never calls. The last time he called, he said he was too busy to talk. Hmph." Tinn made a nasal sound, pouting once more.

Some might find his spoiled behavior irritating, but for Kon Hin, he thought it resembled something familiar.

Khun Tul called for attention by hurting others, but Khun Tinn called for attention by being a self-centered child.

Believe it though, as soon as he saw his older brother… The person who was sulking suddenly broke into a wide smile.

"Alright, then let's head back. Khun Tul is probably waiting to see you, Khun Tinn."

"Hey, I'm not a little kid anymore. I don't really want to see my brother... but drive faster. I just want to go back to sleep. I just want to sleep, it's not because I miss my brother," Tinn said, trying to act nonchalant, but leading the way to the parking lot while urging Hin to hurry up.

The listener responded firmly, secretly laughing at Tinn's spoiled attitude.

But after a moment, his smile faded when he thought of the one who hadn't come to pick up his younger brother. It wasn’t that Khun Tul was busy with funeral affairs, but rather that Khun Tul seemed to be drowning in his own thoughts.

Today was the third day of the funeral rites, marking the second night his employer had been unable to sleep. If you were to ask how Khon Hin knew, it was because he was too worried to leave his Chao-nai alone. Even though his Chao-nai didn’t order him to, the worker brought a mattress and blanket to sleep on the floor beside the bed.

He noticed that the person in bed was unusually still… too still. It wasn’t the stillness of deep sleep, but of someone lying there, eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling and lost in thought, which was worrying.

Khon Hin hoped that Khun Tinn would help his Chao-nai return to normal.

~~~

Tul knew he was wasting his time, but he couldn’t stop thinking. He couldn’t force himself to move forward, as the tears from that night were still deeply embedded in his mind, making him question why he had cried for the woman who had tried to destroy his life.

Why had he suffered over the death that was deserved? But there had never been an answer.

He has never ceased condemning his own grandmother. In his heart, there was only hatred. But why did he feel pain... pain that felt as if a sharp iron spike had been driven into his chest?

"It's over, Tul. It's over."

The woman, the demon who had tormented him, was no longer in this world. And even though he had not yet proven that he could possess everything of Metthanun, before she died, his grandmother had come to realize that this worthless boy was worth more than she had ever expected.

Metthanun could not be without a man named Tul. He still couldn't stop until he had everything. He knew that, but where had the strength for revenge gone?

Thud!

"Phii Tul!!!"

Tul snapped out of his trance immediately upon hearing the familiar voice, knowing that the person he both wanted and didn't want to see had finally returned to Thailand.

The young boy, who had claimed he didn’t miss his brother, ran into the house and immediately headed straight for the living room once he knew where his half-brother was. Then, a charming smile spread across his face when he saw the back of the person resting on the sofa. His legs quickly carried him closer as he placed his hands on the shoulders, then jumped up in an attempt to startle his brother. However...

The older brother's eyes widened as if he had seen a ghost, and he reached out so suddenly that the young boy... felt fear.

The way Phii Tul looked at him was as if he didn’t know him.

"Hey, Phii Tul, what’s wrong?" The desire for revenge vanished in an instant, replaced by fear, as the hand that had reached out grabbed his neck. The question from the older brother went unanswered, but the grip on his throat tightened, making the younger boy tremble.

Thud...whoosh, whoosh...

"Come here, you little mischief-maker!!" But then, the hand reached behind the young boy's neck and pressed with full force, nearly sending the boy's face crashing into the soft armrest.

This gave the older brother the chance to ruffle Tinn's hair roughly before laughter echoed through the room.

"I'm not being naughty... Ouch, that hurts, Phii Tul!" The slim figure cried out, squirming as his hair became a tangled mess, while the one causing the chaos laughed.

"Well, I had to make it hurt. Where did you go? Why did you come back so late?"

"Because you didn’t come pick me up!" Tinn sulked.

"Ah, so that’s why you're sulking?"

"No! I’m not a kid anymore, Phii!!!"

Tinn immediately forgot his previous fear when his older brother turned back into the brother he knew—the one who pulled him into a tight hug, ruffled his hair roughly, and spoke in a half-teasing, half-affectionate tone. He couldn’t help but feel like he was truly home again. Despite arguing with his brother, he couldn’t stop himself from smiling widely, realizing that his brother was still the same beloved brother.

But who could know what was in Tul’s heart?

The moment their eyes met, what reflected in his younger brother’s gaze wasn’t the selfish look of a thirteen-year-old boy, but the arrogant gaze of someone who had long gone.

The same..... Khun-than’s dearest grandson has inherited her eyes as if they were copied exactly, as the lamb from the ewe.

In that moment, no one knew that Tul nearly strangled his younger brother for real.

Yes, I still resent you, hate you, and will never cease condemning someone like you—for simply existing.

Is this the answer he wanted, or merely a thought that deceived himself? Tul asked himself as he tightly embraced Tinn.

~~~

"I already said not to wake me up! Do you not understand Thai or what?!"

"But her ladyship ordered—"

"Whatever she ordered, I don’t care! Get out!"

Tul had just stepped out of his bedroom, a black suit draped over his arm, when he froze at the loud, sharp voice coming from another bedroom. His heavy brows furrowed at the harsh tone, and as he stepped past the doorway, he saw his younger half-brother behaving in a most unpleasant manner, pointing a finger to dismiss a household worker.

“What’s going on?”

“Khun Tul, Khun Tinn refuses to wake up.”

“Shut up! What right do you have to complain—”

“Tinn, that’s not nice.”

Thud!

The youngest in the house, who had interjected with an arrogant tone, immediately fell silent at his elder brother’s gentle reprimand. The previously haughty face, which often seemed to demean others, softened into one of sulkiness.

“You’re not taking my side,” he said, pulling the blanket over himself in frustration.

Sigh… “Leave us. I’ll talk to him myself,” Tul said with a resigned tone. The servant acknowledged his order quietly and hurriedly left the room. Now alone with his younger brother, Tul sat on the bed beside him.

“Are you upset because I scolded you?”

“You already know,” Tinn replied, never hiding his emotions from his brother.

Tul smiled faintly, gently placing his hand on Tinn’s head and tousling his hair. “But you also know I scold you because I care.”

“Tinn… You know that acting this way isn’t good.”

“But Mother does it,” the boy retorted, invoking their mother’s name, causing Tul to shake his head slowly.

“Alright, I give up... You’re acting stubborn like this because you feel neglected, right?”

Tinn’s silence confirmed Tul’s spot-on guess.

“Father and Khun Mother don’t have time. They’re busy with Khun Yaa’s funeral arrangements.” Tul mediated.

“But I just got home! I only saw Mother briefly before she said she was busy with the lawyer. And Father—I haven’t seen him at all! Why does it feel like no one is happy that I’m back?”

“Are you saying I’m not happy?” Tul questioned.

Thud.

The listener fell silent, poking his face out from under the blanket to look at his elder brother’s expression, tinged with hurt feelings. Seeing Tul about to rise to leave, Tinn quickly grabbed his arm, calling out anxiously.

“I’m sorry! I spoke without thinking!”

“Should I stop being angry, then?”

“Stop being angry!” the younger brother replied loudly, before confidently declaring in a firm voice, “Because I only need you, P’Tul. As for that stupid father and horrible mother, I don’t need them!”

“There you go again, Tinn,” the elder brother said, hoping Tinn would choose his words more carefully. However the younger one merely grinned widely, springing energetically out of bed before stretching lazily in front of him.

“Didn’t you promise not to scold me, P’Tul? I just got back, and I’m so tired. The only reason I’m even going to Khun Yaa’s funeral is because of you, P’Tul. I’d better go take a shower.” The younger boy smiled brightly before disappearing into the bathroom, noticeably in a much better mood, leaving Tul shaking his head gently with a soft, affectionate smile.

But that smile faded quickly, replaced by a somber face and cold eyes.

I would never let Tinn think he has no one, if not for this wretched house where children and grandchildren are treated as mere ornaments. You all made Tinn this way yourselves. I only need to stand back and watch this child’s life fall apart.

Such thoughts coursed through Tul’s mind as his fists clenched tightly. Because... warmth.

The warmth of his younger brother’s touch lingered on his body, suddenly thawing the deep chill in his heart. He knew it well. No matter how much he hated the eyes that resembled someone else’s, in this house, only Tinn saw him as a person—whether it was because Tinn felt like he had no one else or not.

Tinn is my younger brother. Yet at the same time, this child is also the one who made me invisible within this household.

The day Tinn was born was the day Tul became even more like a shadow trampled underfoot.

Everyone celebrated the birth of young Tinn, while Tul, the elder brother, had words poured into his ears about how he was no longer of any use.

“Khun Tinn hasn’t done anything wrong, sir.” Hin murmured.

“When did you get here?”

“A little while ago, sir.”

Tul asked calmly, prompting the person standing at the doorway to answer politely—a reply that meant they had heard everything from the start.

“You’re going to tell me to stop, aren’t you?”

“Khun Tinn loves you very much, Khun Tul…”

Kon Hin pointed out this truth.

“...And Khun Tinn hasn’t done anything wrong.”

This caused the listener to fall silent for a moment before letting out a faint smile.

“But his grandmother did.”

Tul’s voice was flat and indifferent as he stepped out of his younger brother’s room. Someone close to him though, like Kon Hin, noticed how tightly his Chao-nai’s fists were clenched, his knuckles white—revealing that Tul himself was in the depths of confusion.

With no one left to avenge and no greater purpose, Khun Tul seemed to lack a reason to go on living.

At this moment, Pathapee was more worried about his Chao-nai than anything else.

~~~

The seven nights of funeral prayers had concluded. This time, the lady of the house took on the role of the chief organizer, ensuring the event honored the deceased appropriately. At a glance, she appeared to be a dutiful daughter-in-law who respected and loved her husband’s mother. However, in reality, Rasa’s true focus was on what would follow the cremation ceremony—the reading of the will. She wanted to know what she would receive and what the biological son would be entitled to.

Her intentions were so apparent that everyone noticed, leaving even Trai at a loss for words. He wished they could wait until after the 100-day memorial to proceed with the will reading, but since his mother had left no clear instructions, he had to let it be. All he could do was listen to the eager voice of someone who had no right to such excitement.

“Tomorrow, you need to wake up early, Tinn. The lawyer will arrive at nine o’clock.”

“I don’t care.”

“Tinn!”

“Khun Mother, please calm down... Just wake up early tomorrow, all right? Please?” At the dining table, the eldest brother was pleading silently with his youngest sibling, who pressed his lips tightly together.

However, since it was a request from his beloved older brother, Tinn eventually nodded and made a counteroffer.

“Then tonight, I want to play games in your room.”

"My room doesn’t have any games."

"Then I will bring them myself, okay? Tomorrow, I’ll really wake up early!" The young man spoke with an eager smile, which sounded more like, “Can I sleep over?” rather than “Can I play games?”

However, considering his age, outright asking to crawl into his brother’s bed seemed inappropriate. This caused the listener to give a faint smile.

"If you promise, then okay."

"Why does Tinn only listen to Tul?" Rasa’s irritated voice rose at the sight of the siblings’ interaction.

Her biological son simply shrugged, unconcerned, and turned to invite his older brother to eat. As soon as the meal was over, Tinn pulled his brother away from the tense dinner table, where their father had not even uttered the words, “Welcome home.”

For Tinn, this house only needed his brother to be complete. That thought was his alone, however, as he didn’t realize his brother felt differently.

The moment they reached the second floor, and Kon Hin walked past, a large hand instantly grabbed the servant’s arm.

"You’ll sleep in my room tonight."

"Why?! I want to play with P’Tul alone. I don’t want anyone else!" Tinn insisted.

"The ‘anyone else’ you mean is my someone important," Tul immediately turned to lock eyes with his younger brother. However, the one whose heart skipped a beat was the someone important, who unconsciously lowered his gaze, causing the younger man to scowl even more.

"He’s just a servant."

"Tinn!"

It was rare for Tul to shout at his younger brother, startling him into wide-eyed silence. Tinn then spun around, stomping off in another direction—but not to his own room. Instead, he ended up in his brother’s room anyway, knowing that his brother would eventually apologize, that his brother always indulged him.

This left the two men standing in quiet stillness.

"I think..."

"Go sleep in my room. Don’t pay attention to Tinn."

"But..."

This time, Kon Hin fell silent when his Chao-nai turned to meet his gaze and spoke in an even voice.

"You’re important, Hin... You must be the one to stop me from killing that kid and sending him after his grandmother."

The heart of the someone important deflated as though pierced by a needle, but Kon Hin could only respond softly, watching the broad back as it followed the younger brother. His hands clenched tightly.

He shouldn’t feel glad about Khun Tul’s words. He shouldn’t. But he did. Even though being important to Khun Tul meant preventing him from becoming a murderer.

NEXT Chapter 12 - What Was Left Behind

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