[[Translator's Note: Tul uses three very different Thai pronouns for Hin through this. During pain infliction, he uses มัน which is more like it or that thing. "Now Tul wanted to do more. Wanted to torment it until hurt." When making demands, he uses มึง. "You have to take responsibility for your words!" When he is pleading, he uses the highly familiar prefix only. "Don’t leave me, Ai Hin."]]
Kon Hin had always thought that what he feared most was his employer harming himself. At times, he worried when this person might decide to end his own life. Now though, he thought that Phii Tul’s silence and dazed state were even more frightening.
A man sitting motionless at the edge of the bed for more than half an hour.
Last night, Pathapee had prepared himself to endure the pain that the other would inevitably inflict, as a substitute for the anguish in his heart caused by his grandmother's cruelty. Nothing happened though. He lay on the floor beside the bed while his employer lay on the bed.
The most heartbreaking sight for him was this: The man who had roared that he would achieve victory cried silently.
No sobbing, no trembling, only tears streaming from reddened eyes to release the torment inflicted by his grandmother.
For the onlooker, it was so distressing that he had to turn away. How must his employer feel at this moment?
Pain. Agony. Or utter devastation.
The words written by the elder were too severe, too painful, as if his employer had no life, no soul, no feelings. But this man did. Phii Tul might be called perfect, but inside, he was shattered, as fragile as glass filled with cracks.
He could no longer endure it. Kon Hin felt he could not bear it anymore.
"Phii Tul, sir, it’s time to go to class now."
The large hand rested gently on the shoulder of the mixed-heritage young man, prompting his beautiful eyes to lift and meet the other's gaze.
“How long has it been since I have gone now?”
“Over a week, sir. Ai Rob called to say the professor moved up the presentation session earlier.”
Khun Tul had stopped attending classes when Khun Than passed away. While professors, friends, and even the student committee understood his absence, it seemed necessary to urge his Chao-nai to leave this house now.
The surrounding atmosphere and murmured gossip would only worsen this man's state.
“That’s right, I need to go to class… but for what?” Tul sneered, the man who once stood tall now rising and leaving the room without another word, more as if he didn’t want to acknowledge anything.
His demeanor made it clear to the observer—inside, he must be hurting unbearably more than his outward appearance revealed.
Kon Hin thought this with anguish, quietly following behind until they both stepped into the dining room.
“P'Tul! Last night Hin wouldn’t let me into your room!!”
As soon as they entered, the Khun-nu, idly picking at his food, turned to loudly complain to his elder brother, throwing a disapproving glare toward the servant and prompting a sheepish smile from Kon Hin.
“My apologies, Khun Tinn.”
The younger brother looked displeased but dropped the issue, unlike last night when coaxing, pleading, and persuading him not to disturb Khun Tul, who wished to rest, had been quite a struggle.
While Khun Tinn let it go, the lady of the house did not.
“Why disturb your brother? Tul has enough to think about, especially with Khun Mother acting so unfairly.” Rasa spoke as if sympathizing with her stepson, but her eyes, smile, and tone were brimming with delight at the fact that her only son had inherited everything.
Tul clasped his hands together for a moment before releasing them.
"I had a feeling from the very beginning, Khun," Chao-nai responded in a flat tone, utterly unlike the perfect stepson who always sought to please his stepmother.
However, the lady of the house seemed oblivious, raising a hand to her cheek as she voiced an opinion so senseless that even a stone could tell this woman lacked a brain.
"Well then, Tul can just be Tinn's assistant in the future."
If it isn’t outright mockery meant to crush Tul further, it is the most foolish attempt at consolation I have ever heard. Hin thought.
No matter the circumstances, the only person who could give Chao-nai any room to breathe in this house was Khun Trai, "Let's stop talking about this already. Are you heading to university today?"
The one who cut the conversation short with a deep strong voice, changing the subject immediately, prompted the eldest son to respond. "Yes, Khun Father."
However, just before the tall figure could settle into a chair to endure further ridicule from his stepmother, someone who couldn’t bear it anymore interrupted.
"Khun Tul, sir, it's getting late."
Sitting through a family meal where the main topic was the will would only deepen Tul’s pain, and Khun Trai understood that.
"Go ahead." He said.
"Then, with your permission," Tul rose again, leading the way out of the dining room. But Kon Hin lightly tapped his elbow to stop him before turning to address the head of the household.
"Khun Trai, sir."
"What's up, Kon Hin?"
"Today, I'd like to ask for permission to stay out, sir," Kon Hin requested politely, but the request caused Tul to turn and look at him, prompting Kon Hin to quickly explain further.
"I've fallen behind on my report because I took several days off, and my groupmates asked me to stay over and help finish it. So, I wanted to ask for your permission first, Khun Trai."
"Mm, if there's work to do, then go ahead. Don't worry about the housework. There are plenty of people helping around here... including you, Tul."
Pathapee wasn't surprised that his Chao-nai remained silent, as the other party likely understood that it wasn't about the report anymore, prompting him to answer the question himself.
"Yes, sir."
"Mm, go ahead."
"Tinn is going too!"
But then the boy, looking left and right, suddenly burst out in a selfish manner, turning to face his older brother.
"I want to go to university with you, P'Tul! Take me with you..."
"Stop bothering your brother," Khun Trai admonished, as the boy, unimpressed by his father's words, jumped up energetically as if determined to go along.
He then looked up with a... pleading expression, one that his older brother always allowed. This time though, Kon Hin noticed Tul's hands tightly clenched, and he didn't even lift a hand to ruffle his little brother's head.
"Maybe next time. Go ahead, Kon Hin."
The one who had been attentive to Nong all his life simply turned and walked out calmly before ignoring Tinn's shouting or the lady’s surprised tone asking what happened. Only Hin walked quickly to follow because he understood how much effort the other had to make to speak kindly to someone who had made them feel compared.
If Tinn were a precious angel, then Tul would be nothing but worthless dirt, trampled upon.
Both of them got into the car, but there was no conversation. Only a sense of gloom and a heavy atmosphere lingered until the Japanese car turned onto the main road after a while.
"When did Ai Rob allow me to stay overnight?" Khun Tul asked with a mocking tone, for this semester, the only friend in their group working on the report with them was Nakrob, and he had been showing dissatisfaction toward Hin's Chao-nai for some time now.
It was no surprise the other could guess that just now... he had made up the whole story.
"Tonight, sir," Kon Hin answered the question, but the direction the car was headed was not toward the university but instead... to a hotel.
Tul said nothing. He did not show any surprise, just followed quietly, checking in at the hotel and then taking the elevator to their room, using the key to open it.
The room might not have been a large, luxurious suite, but it was fully equipped with all the necessary amenities. A large bed was placed in the middle of the room, a set of two chairs near the window, and the person leading turned back to look at his Chao-nai. Then... he unbuttoned his student uniform shirt.
The shirt was released onto the floor at Kon Hin’s feet, and the sharp eyes of the worker's child met the gaze of his Chao-nai.
“Let everything be placed on me, sir.”
Kon Hin could no longer bear it. The image of his Chao-nai's tear-streaked face made this bloody stone of a person unable to remain indifferent anymore. Even if he had to die at Tul's hands... it would be fine.
~~~
Tul stepped out of the large Japanese car, carrying a bag of clothes, and...
The young man, carrying the food bag, walked from the parking lot directly to the entrance of the hotel where they had been staying since yesterday. He did not forget to smile at the person opening the door before taking the elevator up to their room.
Yes, "they." Tul was not staying alone, but there was someone else who had stayed with him throughout the night.
Eek!
Ugh, huuuhhhh!!!
The other person made a muffled sound, but that was all. There were no sentences, no questions about where Tul had been, no words of concern, because Kon Hin was tightly bound to the bed.
Not just his hands and feet, but also his eyes.
Now, Kon Hin, completely naked, his tall and sturdy body, the physique of someone who had worked hard since childhood, was covered in red marks, as if something had been struck against him repeatedly. His sharp face was obscured by a pitch-black cloth covering both eyes, making it impossible for him to see who had entered. Not only that, but around his mouth was a black covering with silver metal pressed into his lips, stifling any sound. Only a small amount of clear liquid flowed out, staining his chin as it was difficult to swallow it down.
In addition, both hands were tied to the headboard, both feet were fixed to the legs of the bed in a position that pinned the arms and legs like a starfish. The most frightening thing though was not the marks all over the body that indicated that he had been sexually abused throughout the night.
Some object was inserted into Hin's back passage, and was held in place with black tape. The machine was turned on to vibrate violently, causing both of his legs to clench against the large bed. However... he could not release as desired.
The hard shaft is wrapped around the base with a cock ring, revealing the bulging veins, which looked extremely painful to the viewer.
The sight of this made the person who just came back with food put all the things on the table, walk to sit on the end of the bed, and look at the person who flinched and tried to move away because before he left he whispered to Hin…
"Soon, the maid will probably come up to clean the room."
The bloody stone was so scared that he cried, but Tul didn’t say anything and just walked out. However, he flipped the sign to 'Do Not Disturb.' He just felt that the more he saw his special person being trampled on, the more his heart eased from the discomfort.
He wanted to crush Hin into the earth, to trample on his humanity, to force someone to feel the pain and let them know how much his heart was suffering. And when it was offered, Tul didn’t hesitate to accept. Even though a part of his heart told him not to, not to hurt the only person who understood him, if he didn’t do it, it was himself who would fall apart.
If he were the only one who felt worthless, he wouldn't be able to live. He wanted someone to share in this pain, and Kon Hin was the one who best answered that need.
Right now, Tul wanted to do more than this. He wanted to torment him until he was in pain. He wanted to make him cry. He wanted to make him wail apologies, to beg for mercy from him even more than on the previous night.
Last night, he and Kon Hin had rough sex, to the point where Kon Hin cried out that he couldn’t take it, but he didn’t stop. Even if blood flowed, even if it hurt, even if his face was bruised, his body covered in marks from the belt, he still wouldn’t stop. It wasn’t that his heart didn’t want to stop, but his body moved on its own, doing everything to release the pain that someone had caused.
And last night, when Kon Hin passed out, it was he himself who went to buy all these things to bind him.
Not enough!
In Tul’s heart, he cried out that it wasn’t enough. He wanted more, he wanted to do more, he wanted to be a monster, to be more cruel than the one who had created the wounds in his heart.
Tul thought as he opened the bag, which contained not only his clothes and as he had claimed to his family that he would be staying outside for several more nights, but also several sex toys. Tul took out a large, jet-black dildo that, with the press of a switch, made a hissing sound, vibrated violently, and moved in circles.
The sharp eyes stared steadily before dropping one knee onto the soft mattress. He leaned down to look at the person who was so frightened that they had shrunk. They still didn't know who he was, because, as he had said, he could either be the housekeeper who had to come clean the room for the guest or the security guard called to look after the perverted guest tied up in the room.
Hin’s fear excited Tul's heart, so his large hand moved to the object that was pressed deep inside the narrow passage and pulled it out of the swollen hole that had been created by the intense lovemaking, causing the person receiving it to grip his legs with full force, making a rumbling sound in his throat.
"Huuuuu, uhh... uhh!!!" Kon Hin tried to escape, attempting to pull his body away, but his wrists and ankles were tightly bound.
The darkness he was immersed in made him fear what would happen next. Khun Tul, is that you, Khun Tul?
The question echoed in the terrified heart, before Pathapi suddenly shivered, his hips bouncing up, sending his hot flesh arching towards the sky as something new thrust into his body. It was big, tight, and rough, causing him to struggle. His hips pushed away, but it still followed him in... in... deep into his body until he was full.
Kon Hin knew then that the one who tortured him was his Chao-nai, but he doesn't dislike it at all, no matter how violently he is treated. However, that is a part of Khun Tul's body. If Tul moves in to be rough enough to draw blood, he is prepared to accept it, to endure it.
However, when this is a toy meant to be used for sexual release, even though others might feel offended, it is not the same for him. He didn't want it at all, even if his Chao-nai slowly pushed in and rubbed his sensitive spot until he writhed.
Oh yeah.
The tears soaked into the blindfold. Then as the crying grew more intense, the sobs deepened, and the clear drops overflowed because the cloth was soaked and could absorb no more. The droplets trickled down the cheek, passed the chin, and fell onto the pillow, while the object inside continued to tremble, rubbing and moving through his passage.
Thud!
Suddenly, the strap that covered the lips was undone, allowing the small object that had been held for hours to fall away. The bruised mouth was freed, and Kon Hin did not hesitate to call out for the one person.
"Khun Tul... Khun Tul, please... no more... enough..."
He whispered in a hoarse voice, feeling warmth touch his cheek.
"How did you know it was me?"
"I know... I know it's... you."
Kon Hin did not know how he knew. Even though Chao-nai did not wear perfume, he recognized this scent of his body, the warmth of his body, the rough touch that had come into contact with him so violently. He remembered it all and willingly accepted it. It was just that this torment was too much for his body to endure.
The young man had been pinned in this position for hours—maybe two, or maybe three. He truly did not know, only that he could not bear it any longer.
"Good. So you know what I'm going to do."
Gasp!!
"M-Mikk... Gasp! Don't... Khun Tul... don't!!!!"
The stone's eyes widened, even though he saw only darkness, as the large dildo was turned on at full force, causing it to sway back and forth in his tight passage. It rubbed, it rubbed, it pressed against his G-spot, but it did not bring him pleasure, as the cock ring tightened its grip on his shaft, making it painful.
"Please... Khun Tul, please... enough... enough, please... enough... Aah!!!"
The young man dug his two legs into the bed, yanking his hands with full force until his wrist ached. He knew it would bruise and fester, but he couldn't stop his hands or feet from pulling back. The torment mixed with pleasure assaulted his body relentlessly, and the one in charge pushed that toy deeper than before, so deep that Kon Hin screamed shrilly.
Hmm...
“Enough, enough... Please, Khun Tul, have mercy on me... Have mercy on me...”
Hin didn’t want to cry, but he couldn’t hold back his tears. The more he twisted his body, the more his Chao-nai tortured his back passage. The sounds of his panting, moaning, and the sound of the toy rubbing against the soft wall echoed throughout the room.
The young man’s tears flowed freely, but it was still not enough to satisfy the one watching.
"Is this all, you bloody rock? You said yourself to let myself go with you. You said it yourself."
"I... I said it... Ugh!!!"
The listener's voice trembled, but before he could say anything more, the large dildo was pulled out of the narrow passage and thrown to the side of the bed, where it was heard hitting the floor. However, the discomfort did not disappear for long, because after only a short while, the worker felt…
Swup.
"Aaaah!!!"
The hot shaft was inserted into the same hole. Tul thrust in all at once, using the remaining lubricant from the beginning to take it all the way in, hitting the sensitive spot until Hin jerked his arm with full force, his short hips, his legs swept across the bed, his sharp teeth bit down on his lower lip until it bled.
“Then you have to take responsibility for your words!!!”
Chao-nai Tul shouted from above, in such a way that Kon Hin could tell the other party was not normal. The voice, though cruel, was filled with confusion. Khun Tul did not want to hurt him, just as he did not want to hurt Khun-than. But the circumstances forced him to act, and if his Chao-nai would improve with this body... he consented.
"Did you hear that, you bloody damn Kon Hin? You have to take responsibility for your words! Don’t die and run away like that bloody shit-lizard!!!"
His Chao-nai was more sorrowful over the death of his grandmother than anyone else.
Khun-than might have been cruel to her own grandchild, but she was the only purpose Khun Tul had to live for. If the goal of vengeance were to end in death, then what would Khun Tul have left?
Therefore, Pathapee spoke saying…
"I... will take responsibility... huff! All... of my words... yes."
In this world, there had to be someone who could bear the suffering of Khun Tul. That someone was him. He had consented to be that person since he had seen his Chao-nai near death after being kidnapped by bandits. If no one in this world understood this man, Kon Hin would understand him. He would be the force that drives this man to live on.
Such pain... he could endure it.
"Good! You said it, good!!!"
Swish, swish, swish
"Aaaaahhhhhh!!!" The rock screamed as the thrusts moved into his tight passage, pushing all the way, pulling out, and pressing in repeatedly, without easing the force, only the force that was thrusting deep inside. The legs were pushed up as high as the ropes around the ankles would allow, followed by the lips that crushed on his mouth until he could smell the blood.
Not just his own blood, but also Tul's blood.
The one who crushed his mouth until it cracked was no different, while the round hips plunged in hard, the other hand tightly gripped the chin of the close person.
"Scream, Hin, scream!!!"
"Khun Tul, huff! It hurts, I hurt. Please, ahh... Khun Tul... Khun Tul!"
Hin screamed his Chao-nai's name, his hips shaking with the continuous thrusts. Even though it hurt, Hin knew how to please his Chao-nai. Which angle would allow his hard shaft to enter the deepest, squeeze his Chao-nai the best? He tried to make Khun Tul feel good even though he himself was suffering from the ring around his base almost to death.
Hin wanted to release, wanted to finish. The round flesh was agonizingly painful, but he knew it wasn't the time yet. His Chao-nai wouldn't let him release and be free anytime soon.
"Hah, hah, hack... You can’t die and run away from me! Do you hear me? You can’t die!!!"
The person beneath felt the warmth drawing near, and if Kon Hin wasn’t imagining it... tears, hot tears, flowed down Tul's cheeks, dropping one after another, and then turned into harsh sobs. The person who could not stop moving his hips whispered with a voice that was filled with heart-wrenching pain.
"I won’t allow you to die. You can’t die. You have to stay with me... you have to stay with me!!!"
The tears of the Chao-nai scorched his heart more than the violence he had endured all day and night. It was more than anything. Is this the person Khun-than thought wasn’t human? Khun Tul had emotions, he had feelings, and he hurt.
Kon Hin sobbed in response, his voice trembling. "My life is... yours... If you don’t let me die, I won’t die... I won’t die... sniff... I won’t die."
He wouldn’t let himself die before Khun Tul. He would never allow this man to be left alone in this cruel world.
Plop, plop.
The tears of Khun Tul flowed down Kon Hin’s cheek, mixing with his own, creating large droplets that soaked the pillow.
Kon Hin wanted to see the other’s face, but Khun Tul would never agree to remove the cloth. Especially at a time like this, when Tul was crying, while his tall body pressed close and held him tightly. Tul's two hands clung to him so firmly that he wanted to hug back, to say that Khun Tul still had him, just as he had always been there for him from childhood to adulthood. He would remain as his breath right here.
But Hin knew that he... was not worthy.
Don’t hurt alone. You still have me. You always have me.
These were the words Hin wanted to say but couldn’t, not even daring to let them escape his throat. He could only listen to the crying of the man everyone called strong.
"Don’t leave me, you bloody damn Kon Hin. Don’t go anywhere."
Today, that strong man shed his false armor, leaving only the little boy Tul, who had been emotionally abused all his life.
The one Kon Hin wished to protect, even if it meant sacrificing his own breath.
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