MA Chapter 8: The New House and the Same Old Rich Guy

Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
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Perspective Chôoe-Tǎem

There might be many times when I do not want to wake up in the morning. Not enough sleep, tired, not wanting to work, or avoiding someone. But that cannot compare to the feeling of not wanting to wake up this morning. But still... a new day arrives anyway.

No matter how bad I feel, time... never waits for anyone.

“Ugh.”

After struggling with an extremely long nightmare, I open my eyes in the room that is starting to become somewhat familiar. I blink several times, chasing away the clear fluid still welling in them, and slowly get up from the bed, reviewing my memories of what happened. And that makes me look around.

Now the large bedroom is empty.

The person who hugged me all night has already disappeared, until I let out a heavy sigh. Because last night my senses were a bit broken, so I acted embarrassingly like that. If I woke up this morning and found the other person still hugging me, I definitely wouldn't be able to face Khun Khǎi. I should be happy that I didn't meet him, but not meeting the owner of the room instead makes me feel... bad.

I do not know if it is because of the fire, the nightmare, and the terrible thoughts last night, but when they merge, it makes my heart feel very bad now. Unbelievably depressed, until I raise both hands to hug my knees.

“Everything is gone. The dorm, the clothes, the computer... not a bloody fucking thing left.” I mumble. I do not want to break down, but I really cannot help it, since what happened has not even been 24 hours yet. To expect me to act strong as if those were just material possessions is not right.

Being alive is good, but if I lose those material possessions, I do not know how to continue living from now on.

The thing I regret the most is that notebook computer; I just finished paying Mâe back for it two months ago, after asking Mâe to help swipe for it first. And if last night I had been a bit more sensible, no matter how badly the power cord was tangled, I could have pulled the cord out and just taken the machine. But at that time, I was too panicked, too dim-witted, until I lost an important piece of earning equipment to the conflagration.

The report matter is okay, because I backed up all the files to Google Drive. So even if the machine breaks, I still have work to submit to the professor. But how will I host programs from now on?

“Sigh, why do bad things have to happen to my life, Wá? Why don't other people have to encounter such despicable things?”

Sometimes I cannot help feeling sorry for myself. Why do all my friends have parents who help and support them, and why did I lose both my true parents? Why is it only me who encounters bad things?

“Why, Wá?"

Not good. I am tearing up again, until I have to wipe them away hastily, take a deep breath.

“No, if you think like that, are you saying Mâe is also a bad thing in your life, Wá?” And the answer is no. Therefore, no matter how shitty my heart feels, I myself must still move forward. Just lamenting like this does not help anything. And the first thing I should do is call my friend to say why I am not going to class.

“Mobile phone, where is the mobile phone?” I remember that when I fell down to sleep, it was still in the pocket of my wrinkled pants, until I have to turn to look around, and find the thing I am looking for placed neatly on the bedside table, somehow. Until I have to grab it.

Whoosh

“What?” A piece of paper flutters out from under the phone, until I quickly grab it, bend down to read the beautiful handwriting that is unbelievably neat for someone who lived abroad for many years. Of course, there is only one person who wrote it. A ghost probably didn't pop out to help write it.

Lunch is in the fridge. I return in the evening... A blunt, short sentence, similar to when he sends messages directly, making me instantly picture the speaker's face: he must have a still face, cold eyes, and say it in an unreadable tone, until I secretly pout.

But I do not know since when the feeling of despising his face has faded, because suddenly, I let out a smile.

“Thank you, Khráp.”

It probably disappeared because of last night's embrace.

Khun Khǎi might be a better person than I thought.

I tell myself, while getting up from the bed, pressing to check the phone to see if there is anything new, and find 15 missed calls. Over 10 are from Âi'Ker, the rest are from other friends and a call from Mâe. Of course, I choose to call Mâe first, while opening the fridge.

“Does Mâe need anything, Khráp?”

[Mâe wants to know if Nông Thǎem is okay. But you didn't answer, so Mâe called to ask Khǎi. He said you were sleeping, so Mâe didn't call to disturb. How are you? You woke up without any aches or pains anywhere, right? If you feel unwell, go to the hospital immediately, my child. No, Mâe thinks you should go get checked today... ]

“Nông Thǎem is really okay, Khráp, Mâe.” Before Mâe can speak with concern, I quickly interject, letting out a faint smile. Perhaps because the sky is bright now, the heart that was gloomy like at night has lifted a bit, having the strength to confirm that I am okay.

“No aches, no pains, not even a scratch. Mâe can be at ease. Plus, I slept soundly all night.”

Well, if you don't count the who-knows-how-many nightmares I had.

I do not tell more than that, confirm many times that I am okay, so Mâe lets out a relieved sigh.

[Nông Thǎem, then what about your belongings? Should Mâe go buy them with you?]

“It is okay. Nông Thǎem will buy them myself. Now Mâe has to take care of Thîi-rák, Khráp. You probably cannot carry Thîi-rák out to buy things for a long time.” I quickly object. Even though in my first year, Mâe led me by the hand to buy all my student uniforms and study equipment—and honestly, I was not embarrassed at all to go with Mâe—but now Mâe does not have enough time to help me like that. On workdays, Mâe entrusts Thîi-rák to her grandmother to help raise, but on holidays she has to take care of her herself. Plus, I am old enough to manage things by myself now. Also...

“Mâe, don't forget, Khráp, that Nông Thǎem has Âi'Ker. He will definitely agree to drive around to take Nông Thǎem shopping.” This time, I use my friend as an excuse. Whether he helps or not, I do not know. Consider it a forced agreement; later, at the end of the semester, I will summarize the exam content and predict exam questions for him in return.

[Sigh, then Nông Thǎem won't change your mind about coming back to live at home?]

Mâe returns to the same topic, which last night, I myself was also hesitant about, since I hardly have a reason to live here.

But now, when I look inside the huge giant fridge and find a massive amount of frozen food stuffed full, along with a note: ... I don't know what you want to eat, whatever you like, just heat it and eat. Then rest...

I smile.

Usually, I would scold that wasteful man. Doesn't he know these foods are many times more expensive than the cheapest food? But seeing him invest in buying almost the entire convenience store like this, and letting me choose myself, not forcing me to eat it, the corners of my lips curl into a faint smile. I imagine the man with a frowning, scowling face buying everything and paying at the counter, then being whispered about by the staff covering their mouths, and my heart inadvertently beats strongly for one beat. Perhaps because I opened my heart, I therefore perceive that this means... he did it for me.

Therefore, I decide to tell Mâe.

“Nông Thǎem can stay here. Mâe doesn't need to worry.”

I hang up from Mâe, accepting the help the other party offered by choosing one box of food, putting it in the microwave, and then just turning back to the dining table, I encounter another piece of paper that is utterly insane, because it makes my... heart beat.

... Think of this place as your home...

“Are you that free, Wá? Sitting and sticking notes all over the house.” I mumble, but I cannot stop my hand from picking up that piece of paper. And I do not know why this blunt, short sentence, which has not a bit of detectable tenderness, can make me feel this happy.

Maybe all along, I might have misjudged Khun Khǎi?

“If you don't count the psychopathic aspect, he's probably a good person... maybe.”

That's it. But still, Khun Khǎi has the word 'psycho' stamped on his forehead. But I will try to see him in a better light... I will try, okay.

[Why can life be this unlucky, Wá, Âi'Thǎem?]

“Yeah, I want to know that too.”

After properly eating breakfast combined with lunch, I call my close friend, who is complaining loudly. Even looking at the time, I know he is in a lecture hall. I hear him shouting to the professor, 'It's urgent, Khráp!' and he probably ran out of the room. After that, he interrogates me until I can hardly answer, asking where I am now and how I am.

So I tell him about last night: the fire, going back home to see Mâe, and then being taken in by Khun Khǎi to live with him, until Âi'Ker himself cools down a bit. His anxious tone changes to a sigh, then he asks me with a sentence that I myself also wonder about: Why is my life so cursed, one bad break after another, and completely unlucky like this?

[When I found out your dorm was on fire, it was when I arrived at the university. I rushed to see your dorm. It was charred, you Âi'Thǎem, you! The bloody fuck only left a ruined building wreck. And I heard they know the cause of the fire. They said it might be a cigarette. But the room owner went out to get drunk, didn't know about the fire. The origin was on the same floor as you. Lucky you are safe.]

Âi'Ker says with a stressed voice, but I am more stressed. I swear if I meet the person who is the origin, I will ask for a punch to vent my anger!

Damn it! Making everyone else's lives collapse!

[And where are you now? Khun Khǎi's house?]

“Yeah, as I said.” Before I can curse the origin guy, Âi'Ker pulls me back first, making me answer in a fed-up tone, then let out a heavy sigh, looking around the room that is too grandiose compared to anywhere I have ever lived, beyond comparison. Even though I told Mâe I could stay here, I cannot deny that a part of my heart is still hesitant.

This is a stranger's house, Wá!

I think my tone probably tells my friend how worried I am, because he offers.

[Want to come stay at my house first?]

Even though Âi'Ker likes to tell me to offer my body to Khun Khǎi to get it over with, in reality, he himself is too worried about me to offer flesh to a tiger's mouth. So he says kindly, which I should be overjoyed about, right? Since I once said I am more familiar with his house than the living room of Mâe's house. But...

“No. I would feel inconsiderate towards both your senior and your uncle.”

The reason Âi'Ker and I are close might be because we have many similar things. One of them is that we both lost our true Phôo and Mâe. But Âi'Ker's life is not so rotten that flies swarm like mine. He still has an capable Phii who is a prospective lawyer, and a true uncle who takes care of everything like parents. There are no asset-grabbing problems like I encountered. No, it could be said that he is a young master of a famous law firm. But he said he won't study law; it's stressful, he doesn't want to go bald early.

He is well-off. However, even if he is a Khun-chai and his house accepts me, I must be considerate of the family.

“It's no good, Wá. I don't want to go be a burden on you.”

[Think-deeply, Ná.]

Âi'Ker scolds, but I let him scold, because this is a matter I really cannot accept. Even though I had thought about going to stay with him before finding a new dorm, but thinking about it now, I do not want to go be a burden on his house.

“I cannot not think-deeply.”

[Oh, then why did you agree to go live at Khun Khǎi's house?]

He is probably worried about my tendency to think-deeply. And that makes me look around the room that is clean and tidy because I cleaned up after eating, and then answer his question.

“If I go to your house, you and your family would definitely not let me help with anything. Just staying at your house doing nothing is no different from freeloading off you. I won't go along with that. But staying here, at least I consider it as doing housework, feeling like a live-in worker. This makes me feel more at ease... You're not angry with me, are you?” I think that way. At least here, I consider myself a worker. But if I stay at Âi'Ker's house... 'freeloading' would be an understatement.

His family would definitely not agree to put their young master's close friend to work. They would only treat me like another master. I go to his house often, so I know it must be like that for sure. And I am considerate.

Âi'Ker lets out a sigh at the words, then he laughs.

[Think-deeply, Ná, Âi'Thǎem. I'm not angry with you over something this small. I've always gone along with whatever you want. So, Khun Khǎi is going to provide your room and board, you say?]

“Yeah. He said he will give me a salary. The debt will be deducted from the salary.”

[The proposal sounds good. But I want to add something.]

"What?"

And that... Âi'Ker is silent for a moment, until I narrow my eyes, because he must be thinking something crazy.

[Grab him and make him your Phûa. I guarantee the debt will be cleared. Plus, you'll have money for snacks... ]

“Âi'Ker! You nuisance! How many times have I told you I don't want to, Wôoi!” I almost shout at him, my face flushing hot.

[Hey, think about it. The opportunity is right in front of you. He pays heavily, Wôoi.]

“Wôoi, whether he pays heavily or not, I don't want to! I'm not talking to you anymore. Taking a break is impossible. You're forcing it on me.” The other end of the line laughs loudly, until I pout, intending to hang up on him, but I am stopped because my close friend interjects first.

[Then when will you come to class? Should I tell the professor for you first?]

“Yeah, probably won't attend for several days. Need to handle the living situation first. Oh, I plan to go buy the things that were destroyed with the dorm too. I'll call you again later. Come pick me up.” At the end of the sentence, I order him in a strong voice, which this friend does not get angry about, just accepts the order with a teasing tone.

[Orders received, Khráp. Later, the extremely handsome Phîi Ker will come pick up the attractive Nông Thǎem himself. And also... if there's anything, you can call me twenty-four hours, you (meung).] I almost pout at his fan service mode when no one is watching, but then I am stunned by the last sentence where his playful tone changes to serious, until I can only answer...

“Thanks.”

After that, I quickly hang up, not wanting to accidentally let my voice tremble and make him worry. Because even though he teases me continuously like this, Âi'Ker worries about me more than anything. Otherwise, those ten missed calls wouldn't be on my mobile phone.

“No, no, Âi'Thǎem, don't cry again, Wá.”

I take a deep breath, pushing away the depression that is attacking, and start walking around the room. Even though I have already cleaned up some, it does not hurt to clean again. It is not that I am diligent or anything, but at least it can make me forget about what happened a little.

Besides...

Swoosh

I pull out the note I received this morning, the one that says... Think of this place as your home.

Thud

I clutch that piece of paper tighter. Strangely, the blunt, short message from the stone-faced person makes me feel better.

Whether it is just a comforting sentence or whatever, it incredibly helps a person like me who has no place to return to. And before I realize it, I... press that piece of paper against my chest.

“Can Nông Thǎem stay here, Khráp?”

If I stay here, Nông Thǎem will not be a burden to you, right?

Always... a question that I might desire someone to answer 'yes'... that I can return here.

“What time is early evening, Wá! If you don't tell me, how will I know!”

Didn't the owner of the room tell me he would return in the evening? But now the short hand of the clock has moved to the number eight, and the long hand to the number six! For me, this is not called early evening; it is called almost late!

Since the afternoon, I have been managing to clean this room and that, gathering clothes to throw into the machine. Sometimes I wonder why he has it, since he hires laundry service, sun-dries and irons clothes neatly, changes the bed sheets in each room, cleans the bathroom, and even took brand new plates that I do not know if they have ever been used to wash again. Except for that study room from the land of the dead that I absolutely will not enter. But even after doing that much housework, the owner of the room still has not returned.

Since there is nothing left to do, finally, I take my clean self in my old, dirty clothes and plop down on the sofa.

Of course, my body is clean because I secretly prayed to the heavens and earth to use the bathroom to shower. But as for clothes, I absolutely dare not use his things, so I am stuck in the same set I brought with me since last night.

“When will you return, Wá?”

I have not changed my mind about offering myself as he said, but still...

“So quiet.” I look around the room again. At first, I was happy it was spacious so I would have a lot of work to do, not to be distracted. But having to sit idle in a quiet suite at a time when the sky outside is getting darker and darker like this makes me... depressed.

When I am alone, the events of last night flash into my head again. Both the image of smoke rushing into the room, the image of fire spreading throughout the building...

Thud

I do not know when I raised my hands to hug my knees, but I hug them tighter than before. My heart beats scarily hard. I feel sweat starting to seep around my face. My breathing becomes heavier. And I am... trembling.

“No, don't think about it, Wá, Âi'Thǎem. Don't think about it.”

I do not understand, but just thinking about the fire, I... get afraid.

Whoosh

I lower my head to rest on my own knees, my heart beating even harder when I feel like I cannot breathe well, as if something is pulling my ankles and dragging me down into water. If not cold water, but a huge spreading fire. Something that I might have forgotten is slowly returning again.

But I... what did I forget?

Nông Thǎem... get out...

Flames are burning. Someone is whispering in my ear. Someone he loves the most. But... who?

Nông Thǎem...

Who? No, no. Don't think about it, Âi'Thǎem. Don't think about it. Don't...

Sweat pours down my face. My body trembles more. That voice becomes even more distinct until I am scared.

No. I do not want to remember. I do not want to recall. No... Help. Someone, anyone...

“Chôoe-Tǎem.”

Gasp!!!

Suddenly, I startle violently, looking up immediately, while the image of something blurry vanishes instantly. And that makes me realize where I am, and who is calling me.

Who... is putting down the things in both hands, looking at me with an intense gaze, and then, seeing my face clearly, leaps forward.

“Why are you crying?”

“I... crying... Huh?” I raise a hand to touch my cheek, and only then realize that tears are flowing, until I have to wipe them away, also asking myself what... just happened.

“Chôoe-Tǎem.”

“N... nothing. I just... dust... ” I can only mumble softly, while automatically stepping back when the other party reaches out a hand. I shake my head violently, only realizing now that I have stopped trembling. The fear that occurred a moment ago has disappeared somewhere, but what I know is...

“Where did you go?”

Strangely, when Khun Khǎi stands in front of me, why, Wá, why do I feel safe?

No, Âi'Thǎem, you are delusional, you are delusional!

I quickly shake my head to drive that thought away. The other party just frowns, but after a moment, it relaxes, and he turns to the things he left behind, until I quickly adjust my own attitude: I did not accidentally let my guard down with this psycho. Not at all, not even a bit.

Whoosh

“Hmm.” However, I do not have much time for myself, when suddenly, many bags are placed neatly on the small table in front, until I have to bend down to look. And if I remember correctly, that logo on the bag... is it a brand name, Wá?

“I bought seven shirts for you, and four more pants. I was not sure what brand you like, so I chose from several shops, so you will have clothes to wear. And before, I saw you wearing canvas shoes, so I bought some for you. I was not sure if you like them or not, so I chose three pairs. Oh, and this is a wallet. Your old one must have all burned... ”

“Hey, stop, stop, stop, stooop!!!”

I even shout loudly in the room when suddenly the owner of the room pulls a shirt out of a brand bag, pulls pants from another bag, and then, places three pairs of famous brand canvas shoes on the table, and, my god, he pulls out a wallet with a familiar pattern that I know is from a downtown department store!

How can I not be shocked this time?

“Khun Khǎi, Khráp, I am putting the things right here, Khráp.”

Snap

That is not enough. I just notice that someone followed him into the room, and if I remember correctly, isn't that the security guard from downstairs? The person who is carrying a large box and several more bags follows him in, which makes Khun Khǎi nod firmly, pull out a purple banknote, and hand it to him, until I can only gape.

And he probably sees that I am still in shock, right?

“This part is a new computer for you.”

"Hah!"

I, Âi'Thǎem, am going to faint.

A MacBook, Khráp! It must be a MacBook! A logo like this on the box, a shape like this, a color like this. It's a MacBook!!!

If I could foam at the mouth, I would have done it already. But I can only open my mouth and close it, open and close it several times, until I decide to shut my mouth abruptly, looking at the person who opens the box with a demeanor like showing fresh vegetables costing ten baht per bundle, not something worth a hundred thousand!

“You must have a computer to do reports. So I went to buy it for you.”

I am speechless now.

While Khun Khǎi does not seem to notice at all, because he starts taking things out of the bags one by one. And, kill me, I do not even have money for a new dorm deposit yet, where will I get money to pay for all these things?

"Khun... "

“And then this.”

Snap

As he continues, I shut my mouth again, looking at the person who is taking something out to hold in front of me, making me bend down to look slowly...

“This is underwear. It must be difficult without any to use. It is unhygienic.”

I am rendered speechless. I can only lower my head, then look up at the owner of the room's face, then lower my head again, see the letters saying Dolce & Gabbana. And...

“I probably did not buy the wrong size.”

He looked down at my target!

That is what calls my senses back until I shout out at the top of my voice.

“You insane person!!!"

It is okay inside the room. As soon as I finish shouting, I spin around and run to the bedroom immediately. But before I can run in,

Thud

I spin back to grab the thing in this guy's hand until I succeed. Once I have it... then run, Wá!

Slam!!!

I bang the door shut behind me with full force, panting for breath scarily, my face so hot I think it might burn. Both hands clutch that underwear tightly, and I almost use it to cover my face, mumbling softly in extreme embarrassment.

"If I weren't afraid of being naked, right?”

Yeah, right. No matter how stingy I am, wearing inside-out underwear is not acceptable, Wá! Plus, the pair I am wearing is starting to feel very itchy. If there is a change, I have to take it. But the reason my face is so hot it might burn is not because of anything...

Whoosh

I slowly lower the famous brand underwear to eye level and stare at one line of text until it feels like my eyes are piercing it. But I am not angry. I am embarrassed.

That text...

“How did he know I wear this size, Wá, you insane person!!!”

Well, my stuff is only this much, so this size is correct, after all.

The thought makes me almost curl up into a ball from embarrassment, since he knows, it must be because of that time for sure. When he... grabbed.

"aaah!"

There is nothing more embarrassing than this.

In the end, even though I do not want to use it, do not want to accept things from others for free, I still... use it anyway.

A person only has one pair, Wá! How can I let it get rotten!

The embarrassment makes me unaware that I... have not felt lonely since seeing the face of a certain psycho.