MA Chapter 25: The Night of Longing

Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
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Perspective Chôoe-Tǎem

“Hello, good morning, Little Junior Very Tiny has arrived, Khráp-phǒm.”

I (kuu) might have been wrong.

"Hey, Phîi Tǎem, Phîi Tǎem, Phîi Tǎem! Wait, wait! Do not close the elevator yet! Do not abandon your junior yet!"

Little called me at eleven o'clock saying he had arrived, so I went down to receive him. But the moment the elevator doors opened, I encountered that handsome-faced youth who made a grand entrance by smiling brightly, raising his hand in a respectful wai, and calling himself tiny, even though he was taller than me. I turned to look at the elevator button, and then... Bam. I slammed the close button with full force.

And just like that, that Âi'Rahad junior practically wedged his whole body and hand in to stop the door.

"Phîi Tǎem is heartless, Khráp-phǒm." Even after he managed to get into the elevator, Little turned to whine at me, pouting and putting on a sad face. But when he saw I was still glaring at him, he could instantly switch to acting cute, rubbing his shoulder against mine pleadingly, as if the large guitar bag he was carrying was not heavy at all. Not one bit.

"Be nicer. Because today, Phîi Tǎem is letting Little Lít-Têl come play."

Sigh. I am truly weak when it comes to Little.

In the end, I sighed. Because even though I felt irritated by Âi'brat, I could not really bring myself to refuse it (man). Especially when he smiles wide and acts all clingy. It is no wonder that Âi'Ker accepted him as a Nông, with full honors.

"Phîi Khǎi was the one who permitted it."

"Little Lít-Têl already knows that. Phîi Khǎi is the nicest, super nice, extremely nice. Little Lít-Têl knew just from seeing him the first day. Uh, but Phîi Tǎem is nice too. And Little Lít-Têl also loves Tǎem the most, Khráp-phǒm." I do not know at all what face I was making at my junior, but the fact that Lít-Têl changed his words instantly was enough to guess it was probably the same face as the time I (chǎn) was about to grab a lamp and throw it at his head.

"But, Little Lít-Têl has thought it over carefully. Phîi Tǎem is super possessive of Phîi Khǎi, you (mueng)."

I did not answer the question. I just walked ahead out of the elevator to go directly and unlock the apartment door, even though my heart skipped several beats.

"Phîi Ker warned Little Lít-Têl not to talk about Phîi Khǎi too much, or else Phîi Tǎem will eat his head."

That blabbermouth!

"I am not possessive at all." Before Lít-Têl came, I (chǎn) did not feel anything toward him yet. I (chǎn) was still avoiding him. Why would I be possessive for anyone to see? If it were now, I (chǎn) might not be able to argue convincingly that I (chǎn) was not already attached to Phîi Khǎi. But before, it should not be like that. Yet, that Rahad junior who put down his guitar and ran to jump on the sofa still continued.

"You (mueng) even hurt your junior. Here, if Little Lít-Têl did not know you (mueng) guys were relatives, Little Lít-Têl would say Phîi Tǎem was jealous, not just possessive."

"...Have you (mueng) had lunch yet?" I changed the subject, walking past him into the kitchen.

"No-o-ope, not yet, Khráp-phǒm. Little Lít-Têl knows kind Phîi Tǎem must make something for Little Lít-Têl to eat." That handsome youth leaned his body over, using both hands to hold onto the sofa back, exclaiming eagerly, agreeing to change the subject immediately, until I had to exhale loudly through my nose.

Whose junior is this? Super greedy.

I will not say it out loud. Later, the youth might retort, 'Then what kind of Rahad senior are you (mueng)? Super greedy for money,' and I would be cornered. So, I rummaged through the fridge. It was still good that the food Mâe brought was still filling the shelves. I took out a little bit of various vegetables, some minced pork, and chicken eggs, placing them next to the portions of cooked rice that were wrapped in plastic and stored in the freezer.

Since I was alone all week, I cooked rice all at once and packed it to store, one pack per meal, so it would not waste electricity.

Then, shaking his head, "Phîi Tǎem, it is hot. Can we turn on the AC?" Lít-Têl turned to look at me with sparkling, clear eyes. Of course.

"Why turn it on? It is wasteful."

"But last time I came, it was on."

"Because Khǎi was here, that is why. How can we use electricity freely when the homeowner is not here?" Lít-Têl pouted in protest but conceded, asking for something else instead.

"Then what about a fan, Phîi Tǎem?"

That is the problem. Do you (Khun) believe it, I ask? This room does not have a fan. Âi'Guy who passed through here before never thought of it because it was always cool whenever he came in. I only realized when I was alone that the electricity bill for this house must be huge. He plays at having the air conditioner on almost twenty-four hours a day. Not even a single fan exists.

"Phîi Tǎem, do not tell me there is not one."

"Mhm."

"Ughhh! It is hot! Lít-Têl is hot! I mean it! The breeze from the balcony is hot too!" I should laugh or feel exasperated when that junior squirms and fidgets on the sofa, and then turns to make a pleading face.

"Phîi Tǎem, Phîi Tǎem, Khun is beautiful. Phîi Tǎem, Khun is adorable. Phîi Tǎem, Khun is the number one good person for Little."

I do not know how to react to its (man) compliments. Should I (chǎn) be happy that it (man) praises me (chǎn) as beautiful and adorable? Has it (man) forgotten that I am a man? But before that junior could run around me chasing its (man) own tail with more bizarre compliments, I just nodded reluctantly.

"Only this room, okay? And go close the doors to the other rooms too." Earlier, I had opened the doors to each room to air them out. Therefore, even my bedroom door was wide open. Little's eyes widened, and he leaped from the sofa to run and close the doors efficiently. As for me, I reluctantly went to turn on the AC.

"Phîi Tǎem, Phîi Tǎem, what room is this?" Is that curious one not done with questions yet?

I followed his gaze.

"Phîi Khǎi's study. He said not to go in. Hey! I said do not go in, Little!" Is my junior eighteen or eight years old? Because while I was still talking, he simply reached out and tried to turn the doorknob. I quickly strode over to him and was met with that youth's wide grin.

"Heh heh, it is locked, Phîi Tǎem. I wonder so much what is in here... Ow!" I knocked him on the head with full force, not caring if my junior was hurt.

"Can you (mueng) not be so mischievous?"

"Whoa, Phîi Tǎem, do you (mueng) not want to know? You (mueng) showed me every room, only this one is locked away. My Pheuak gland is throbbing."

"Then, do you (mueng) want me to stab your Pheuak gland with a knife until it bursts and dies?"

"Ruthless!"

"Nuisance!" I narrowed my eyes, scolding my junior. But the other party was not fazed, laughing with a clear voice.

"Uh-huh, Little Lít-Têl is a nuisance, Phîi Tǎem." Okay, I give up.

Ding

"Oh! It is Phîi Tôh for sure!" Suddenly, a certain sound interrupted the war between Rahad senior and junior. Then Little's eyes widened a bit, and he dashed to his bag to pull out an iPad. After that, he smiled even more radiantly, until I could not resist walking over to see this person who changed moods so fast I could not keep up.

"So, you (mueng) guys are still talking?"

"Uh-huh, every day, Phîi Tǎem. Phîi Tôh is really funny. Look, right now he is in Khon Kaen. He said he is traveling with friends." I frowned. It was not because my junior talks to Jân's older brother every day, but because of the picture it (man) sent for me to see... A picture of an empty plate that probably once had a snack, but now had bright-colored jam that the plate's owner had smeared into a smiley face and curved lips. There was also a suntanned man's hand giving a peace sign.

"Phîi Tôh said he ate some for me. And if I play guitar well today, he will send souvenirs and gifts."

Are you (mueng) sure these two have only been talking for just over a week?

I looked at my Rahad junior with an admiring gaze. I (kuu) could not believe that they had not been flirting for long and were already sending pictures and gifts to each other. I (chǎn) have been living with Phîi Khǎi for a month. He has not sent me (chǎn) ten messages total.

"He just sends pictures for you (mueng) to see?"

"Uh-huh. Phîi Tôh has a cat. Little Lít-Têl wanted to see a picture, so Phîi Tôh took one and sent it. Here, see." Lít-Têl scrolled through the long Line conversation until my eyes nearly popped out, because it (man) was very long. It was the kind of long where you scroll until your finger almost locks up before you see the cat picture. But before that, there were still dozens of other photos.

"After that, whenever he goes anywhere, he likes to send pictures for me to see. But Little Lít-Têl does not send any back, you (mueng). Little Lít-Têl remembers Phîi Ker and Phîi Tǎem warned me not to trust strangers. See, Máa? Phîi Tôh has never even seen Little's face." It (man) still had the face to speak boastfully, until I (kuu) started to want to smack its (man) head down, but I (chǎn) was stopped because...

"And does Phîi Khǎi not send any pictures for you (mueng) to see, Phîi Tǎem? Now he is in 'America.' Where has he gone? Does he not send any to show off?"

I (chǎn) felt a sharp, piercing pain, as if Lít-Têl had overtaken me (chǎn) and left me (chǎn) in the dust. I pressed down on his head once.

"Phîi Khǎi does not like taking pictures. Sit still, do not bump into me. I will go make fried rice first."

"Yay!"

I escaped back into the kitchen and then came to stand gripping the counter edge tightly, lips parting as if about to cry. After that, I secretly took out my phone to look, which apart from the short reply message saying he permitted Lít-Têl to stay over at the house, he had gone completely silent.

"Forget pictures, I (chǎn) do not even have a short message."

Can I (chǎn) be mad at him?

"'Do you (Khun) want to see the face of the little junior? Hmm, should I let you (Khun) see?'"

'...Come on, Phîi Tǎem, please, please, please! What does Phîi Tǎem want? I will send jewels right away....'

'I want it, I want it! I want to see the little junior's face!'

'I will send diamonds. How many carats do you (Khun) want? Just say it, so I can see your (Khun) face and cure my longing a little.'"

"Everyone is so interested in the little-one like this. Well, today, let the little-one host instead. Tǎem is sulking."

After finishing dinner, I followed the plan I had laid out, which was to host the program starting at half past seven. When I announced that today there was a special guest who was Little Junior Very Tiny, everyone focused their attention on my Rahad junior, until I pretended to pout, acting all sulky, even though I (chǎn) could not help but laugh.

Why? Because that Lít-Têl was shaking his head vigorously right beside the camera.

As for the root cause that made everyone demand to see him, it was probably...

Big: No need to show him. I am possessive.

Yeah, after Jân's older brother, who everyone now calls Phîi To, said that, others wanted to see even more. As for Little Junior Very Tiny who got the unofficial name 'little junior,' he confirmed to me that he had not let Phîi Tôh see his face. They just chat on Line.

"The little junior will not show his face. Let us just listen to his voice instead, okay? Let us play a Q\&A. Does anyone have questions they want to ask the little junior?" I played some background music to avoid it being too quiet while reading the comments in the chat box.

.....Is the little junior a top or a bottom?...

I was almost stunned. I glanced at my Rahad junior's face; he was stifling his laughter until it sounded choked.

"What is top or bottom? If playing football, the little junior likes being on the offensive side. Just defending is not fun." My face laughed, but in my heart, only one word came to mind... annoying fucker.

.....Is Phîi Tôh really courting the little junior?....

..Wicked! The little junior's voice is nice to listen to! Ah, but Phîi Tǎem is cute too...

Yeah, yeah! Does Phîi Tôh have a chance? Update us!....

Most were just curious questions, especially after Phîi To's bold declaration earlier. I changed the topic before that little-one who intended to be an annoying fucker on air could cause trouble.

"Tǎem thinks we should change the questions. Like... what color does the little junior like?"

Lít-Têl looked at me with clear eyes, then answered in an even clearer voice.

"Every color that is beautiful, Khráp-phǒm."

"What genre of music do you (mueng) like to listen to?"

"Any genre that hits the right spot, Khráp-phǒm."

"Then, what does the little junior like to eat?"

"Everything that is delicious. Especially free food that Phîi Tǎem treats me to. Heh!" See? Even with basic questions, it (man) can still give me a headache. Even though that made many people send the number 5 to represent laughter, filling the chat box.

...Then, does the little junior like dogs or cats?...

...Definitely cats...

...The little junior is definitely a cat...

After I started hosting and got shipped with Âi'Ker, I gained knowledge I (chǎn) should not know, such as how in Japanese, the word for 'cat' can be slang for the bottom. Now, everyone was pushing for Lít-Têl to be a cat, exactly like when they asked me half a year ago. Even though I (kuu) thought Lít-Têl would surely answer like this... every animal that is cute.

This is a prediction based on probability using pure statistics. The statistics of Little's annoying nature.

"No-o-o-o-o-o! The little junior does not like dogs or cats. Because..." The answer was not as expected. Because Little Lít-Têl said cheerfully and then tilted his head toward me until I could see the crown of his head.

[[Author's note 1: In Japanese, the word Neko that means 'cat' can also refer to the bottom.]]

"...the little junior likes being doted on by others much more. Come on, Phîi Tǎem, pat the little junior's head quickly. The little junior likes it." It (man) even had the face to shake its (man) head cutely. Reiterating that my Rahad junior has a face that is extremely handsome, but also extremely dim-witted.

As for the chat channel? It screamed over the cuteness of my Rahad junior until it was almost on fire. Besides that, they sent candies, applause, gift boxes, and diamonds, until I predicted that hosting the program tonight would be super worth it. Or I should lure Lít-Têl to help me often?

Maybe Âi'Ker is already a lost cause.

"And what about Phîi Tǎem? What animal does Phîi Tǎem like?" I snapped out of my thoughts, turning to look at the questioner, and paused to think for a moment.

"Mhm. Penguins."

"Why, Phîi? Because they are cute?" Lít-Têl asked me, like many others. I told him with a smile.

"That is part of it. But what I (chǎn) like most is that most penguins have only one mate for life. It makes me (chǎn) feel touched. Do you (mueng) not think having someone by your side forever is a romantic thing?"

I (chǎn) like dogs or cats. But if asked which animal impresses me (chǎn), it would probably be birds. Especially those that mate for life. But I (chǎn) chose penguins because they also have a part similar to humans... they find the most beautiful stone to give to their mate. When the other accepts it, they are together forever. It is like humans trying to find the most beautiful diamond ring they can to slip onto the ring finger of the other's left hand. Except humans are not single-hearted.

I slowly let my smile fade because I (chǎn) thought of Phôo, who had three women in his life. I (chǎn) thought of Mâe, who accepted a stepfather's love. I (chǎn) thought of the many examples of love around me (chǎn), and then my heart could not help but feel afraid.

Why are people not like those birds? Even though I (chǎn) ask for only one person. Someone who will be mine. Someone I (chǎn) do not have to share with anyone. Someone who will stay by my side no matter what I (chǎn) do or where I (chǎn) am... I (chǎn) ask for just one person. That is enough.

Suddenly, I (chǎn) saw the image of a certain man.

"Phîi Tǎem, Phîi Tǎem." I snapped out of my trance, looked at the caller, and then found that Lít-Têl was making big eyes.

"So cheesy.... But I guess you (mueng) see the moon's reflection, huh."

Twang-twang-twang-twang!

I almost grabbed his guitar to throw it because after teasing me, Lít-Têl added a sound effect by strumming his fingers on the guitar strings several times. I could even see how bright red my face was on the screen.

"Ooh, Phîi Tǎem's face is red too."

Yeah, if you (mueng) keep teasing, I will get so angry my face will turn black.

"That is the end of the Q\&A session. Let us listen to some music, Khráp-phǒm." I ignored the teasing comments saying I changed the subject, some saying I was romantic, some interpreting that I meant Âi'Ker. Even if it (man) brought me (chǎn) a stone (which means the biggest diamond), I (chǎn) could never see it (man) as more than a friend. After that, I changed the subject by writing down a song title and showing it to Little.

"Since we have a guitarist today, Tǎem would like to request this song for everyone, Khráp-phǒm."

The song that suddenly flashed into my mind, along with the image of someone leaning in to kiss my (chǎn) lips.

I gave my junior the signal, looking at Lít-Têl who changed from a playful smile to a serious demeanor when he plucked the strings, letting beautiful music sound. I could not help but think that if any young women saw my junior now, they would probably fall for his charm. But not me (chǎn), because I slowly closed my eyes.

"Let my heart, side with myself every time, that you (thooe) will be with me (chǎn).
Even today, that day has not yet come, I (chǎn) will dream, I (chǎn) will wait.
Waiting for the word 'love,' to have it only for you (thooe)."

[[Author's note 2: The song 'The Night the Sky is Full of Stars' by artist Pramote Vilepana.]]

"That I (chǎn) yearn for." In my (chǎn) heart, there is no room for anyone else. I (chǎn) wish tomorrow, you (thooe) would know and understand... that there is someone.

I (chǎn) do not want to kiss any other star, but I (chǎn) ask to kiss you (thooe) under the moonlight... may I (chǎn)? I (chǎn) like you (thooe).

That night he told me (chǎn) he liked me (chǎn). But now I (chǎn) have a question. Is his 'like' the same as 'love'... is it the same meaning as what I (chǎn) am singing in this song?

"The night the sky is full of stars, I (chǎn) imagine your (thooe) face, dreaming far away, not seeing it as stars. Is that bright moon like your (thooe) heart? If it were true, I (chǎn) would take the moon, to keep in my (chǎn) heart.

Even if I (chǎn) do not know, where you (thooe) will be, I (chǎn) ask to send my (chǎn) heart, to reach you (thooe) a little. This heart of mine (chǎn) may still have little value, but I (chǎn) will ask only to love you (thooe)."

I miss, I miss, I (chǎn) miss you (Khun), Phîi.

"The night the sky is full of stars, I (chǎn) imagine your (thooe) face.
Dreaming far away, not seeing it as stars.
Is that bright moon like your (thooe) heart?
If it were true, I (chǎn) would take the moon.
The night the sky is full of stars will take the moon... to keep in my (chǎn) heart."

I (chǎn) might act like it is okay, but I (chǎn) am lonely. The period of only a few days being alone cannot compare to the time I (chǎn) lived in the dormitory alone for years. Because this heart of mine (chǎn) has already gotten used to having someone by its side.

He is the person I (chǎn) once hated the face of. The person I (chǎn) was prejudiced against. But now, he is the person who makes me (chǎn).... miss the most.

He who is mine alone and no one else's.

"Phîi Tǎem."

The song ended. While I was trying to push the thoughts in my heart away, realizing I was still hosting the program, I slowly opened my eyes. Thinking that Lít-Têl stopped playing because I finished singing, that he called because I was silent. But I found... I was crying.

"I (chǎn) miss you (Khun)." I whispered, and it must have gone into the microphone. I blinked rapidly, calling back my scattered senses.

"I miss everyone so much I cried. Do you (Khun) all miss me, I ask?"

***

I tried to salvage the situation with a sweet smile, seeing that there were both people who believed and did not believe. But if anyone did not believe, I could not do anything. Because in truth, this 'I (chǎn) miss you (Khun),' I (chǎn) did not send to all the listeners. I (chǎn) wanted to tell the person on the other side of the world to come back soon, even though I (chǎn) already knew there was no way he would see it.

He would not come sit and listen to something like this.

When... will Phîi Khǎi come back, I ask?

The night I (chǎn) cried had the highest viewership since I became a DJ. Moreover, I received both diamonds and many gifts that were sent as encouragement. There were some jealous DJs who mocked me in the company group, saying I was faking it to attract viewers. But I did not care. Because as soon as Lít-Têl went back, I became even more listless than before.

I (chǎm) admitted it now. I (chǎm) was very attached to Phîi Khǎi, and it had turned into longing.

It is strange. I (chǎm) could share Mâe with Nông. I (chǎm) could share Phôo with Mâe. But I (chǎm) did not want to share Phîi Khǎi with anyone at all.

"I (kuu) am in love."

"Hmm?"

On Tuesday afternoon, I (chǎm) remarked to my close friend, who was almost nodding off listening to the lecturer. And Âi'Ker jerked his head up to look at me with a surprised expression, until I had to repeat it again.

"I (kuu) am in love, you (mueng), Âi'Ker."

I will be twenty years old soon. But in these twenty years, I (chǎn) have never been in love that was not the familial kind before. And I (chǎn) was never interested either. Until now, when I (chǎn) myself could not escape it, could not deny it. Because my heart was realizing that this turmoil that occurred was because of someone. After that, I turned to meet my friend's eyes.

"I (kuu) love him." While Âi'Ker looked at me like a bizarre creature.

"You (mueng) just realized now?"

"You (mueng) knew?" I retorted, confused, in a way that made my close friend suppress a wide grin.

"Mhm. I (kuu) knew. I (kuu) knew since the day you (mueng) thought about taking a lamp and throwing it at Little." I fell silent, lowering my head. Because it seemed I (chǎn) was the only one who realized so slowly. But I had to look up again when Âi'Ker continued.

"And there is another thing you (mueng) need to know."

"What?"

My close friend looked at me with a warm gaze, as if looking at a younger brother, and then said,

"You (mueng) should tell him, not tell me (kuu)."

I was stunned. Then I lowered my head. The image of that person appeared in my head, along with many things he had done for me (chǎn). I could only accept my friend's words.

After that, I buried my face in my arms, gripping the phone that had no contact even tighter.

Tǎem has something to say. Phîi Khǎi, come back soon.

"'I (chǎn) love you (Khun), I (chǎn) love you (Khun), Khráp-phǒm. Tǎem loves you (Khun), Phîi. And do you (Khun) love Tǎem, Phîi Khǎi? Uh, no, no. Should I (chǎm) ask Phîi Khǎi if the word 'like' means 'love'?... Sigh. Why is it so hard? Do I (chǎm) need to kneel down and confess?... Ugh!'"

It was now past eleven at night. I had already hosted the show, eaten dinner, showered, and prepared to go to bed (in Phîi Khǎi's room). But I (chǎn) was not sleepy at all. I could only look up at the ceiling, muttering the things I (chǎn) discussed with my friend this afternoon over and over, before sighing in resignation because I (chǎn) did not know what to do.

My friend said to tell him directly how I (chǎn) feel.

I closed my eyes again, before imagining Phîi Khǎi's face.

"Phîi Khǎi, Tǎem loves... Ugh! I (chǎn) cannot do it!" When I (chǎn) imagined him in front of me (chǎn), I raised both hands to cover my eyes, then curled into a ball, rolling left and right on the bed in extreme embarrassment. My cheeks were hot as if touched by fire, my heart pounded. After that, I lifted my leg and kicked the blanket several times, to vent my feelings.

"It is just saying it out loud. 'Tǎem is sorry for once looking down on you (Khun). Sorry for being stubborn. Sorry for behaving badly. Right now, Phîi Khǎi might think Tǎem is fickle. But Tǎem thinks the feelings I (chǎn) have for Khun is more than just liking, more than just gratitude, but love...' Ugh! Who could dare say that?!" I flopped down, snuggling into the pillow, then banged my head against it several times. Saying it myself, I (chǎn) already knew it would not work.

"Enough, enough. Put the phone away and go to sleep." Before I could kick the blanket completely off the bed, I quickly grabbed my phone and turned it on, intending to skim through Facebook, Twitter, and IG once. If nothing was interesting, I would sleep. And there was nothing. So, I stopped to check my email.

And my eyes widened.

"It was sent two days ago!"

In the inbox, there was an email, and the most eye-catching one had the title "latest chapter."

I remembered the sender's email by heart because he had sent a chapter before here in the same way, until I (chǎn) accidentally smiled widely. Then the smile changed into hesitation when I (chǎn) guessed what the content inside was. And should I (chǎn) read it now or not?

A new chapter of Châo-nǎai and Angel for sure.

But then... "Read? Do not read? But if I (chǎn) read it and get excited?" My finger trembled, not knowing whether to press or not.

I almost dropped my phone because unfamiliar voices drifted into the bedroom where the door was left open, until fear gripped my heart. I was sure I (chǎn) did not know the two male voices that had intruded into the room.

"Where should we put this?"

"Shh, be quiet. He will wake up soon."

"Whoa, Phîi, the lights are off, it is this dark. If I do not ask, I will not know where to put this, Khráp-phǒm."

I rolled off the bed swiftly, my hand groping to get the phone back and gripping it tightly. I stepped close to the door edge, both brave and afraid, looking at the entrance light that was only partially on, which revealed the bulky shadows of people carrying a large item.

Thieves! What to do? What should I do?!

I should call the police, call the staff downstairs, or hide further. While trembling with fear, the hand gripping the phone became sweaty. How did these thieves break into the room? And it (man) was moving toward the center of the room.

Creeak

Not only that, the apartment door opened again, and then another one of them came in!

If something urgent happens, no matter what time, I (chǎn) will answer.

I made a decision in that second. I raised the phone to my ear, even though my brain told me to call the police, call someone who could help. But fear was pushing me to call the person I (chǎn) trusted the most. And the dial tone was sounding, along with...

Suddenly, the screaming ringtone of a phone sounded from in front of the bedroom door. My eyes widened, and I turned sharply to look at the shadow of the person who had just entered. And he... was pressing to turn on the lights, flooding the room with brightness until I had to squint.

I stood up, letting the hand holding the phone fall to my side, looking straight at the man who walked and stopped in the middle of the room.... the person with a face so stern he has been called mafia-like, a villain, a heartless-person many times. But he was looking straight at me with lips that curled upward.

"Khǎi..."

Thump

After that, I did not even realize I let the phone fall to the floor. Because I rushed toward him immediately, then raised both hands to hug him around his body, burying my face in the crook of his neck. Everything I (chǎn) had rehearsed vanished in an instant. There was only a trembling voice that stammered.

"Phîi Khǎi, Phîi Khǎi, you (Khun) came back. I (chǎn) missed you (Khun) so much I could die. Missed you (Khun) so much. Why did you (Khun) not call me? Why did you (Khun) not send a message? Why did you (Khun) leave me alone? Phîi Khǎi is heartless." I scolded him, but I also hugged him tightly, even shaking his body like a youth demanding attention, feeling the overflowing longing.

After that, I looked up at him.

"Phîi Khǎi, I missed you (Khun)."

Phîi Khǎi hugged me back, leaning his forehead against mine, then he whispered.

"I missed you (thooe) too."

Phîi Khǎi came back. He really came back.

My heart rejoiced. My lips smiled widely. My cheeks burned hot. My eyes must have clearly shown happiness. And I (chǎn) did not think of refusing him at all when he leaned down to touch my lips.

"Uh, Ahem."

Gasp

I had almost closed my eyes if it were not for the throat-clearing sound that made me turn sharply with a start. And then I almost turned back to bury my face in the crook of the tall man's neck because...

"Uh, Khun Khǎi's belongings are all here, Khráp-phǒm."

The people I thought were thieves were actually the late-night security guards from downstairs! And the two of them were looking at us with uncomfortable expressions. I did not dare look more closely, because I broke away from Khǎi and... ran to escape into the room, damn it!

"Heh heh, sorry to interrupt the moment, Khráp-phǒm."

"It is fine. Here."

"Thank you (Khun)! Have a good night, Khráp-phǒm!!"

I do not know how much tip Phîi Khǎi gave them, but it must have been a lot because they exclaimed excitedly with well-wishes, making me throw myself onto the bed, pull the comforter over myself, and cover my face firmly. Right now, the word 'love' was not filling my head. There was another word instead.

Embarrassing! Embarrassing!! Embarrassing!!! Embarrassing, ugh!!!!