MA Chapter 20: Do not be shocked! [NC17 Trauma]

Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
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Perspective Chôoe-Tǎem

“Âi'Tern, Rǒoe, if Professor Aom finds out their beloved junior acts like this in their class, you (mueng) will get kicked out for sure.”

“It is not a problem. I (kuu) am not as little as my name. No matter how they kick, I (kuu) will not bounce far.”

“Yeah, yeah, keep copying. It will be funny when you fail and have to retake the class.”

“It is not a problem. My Rahad Phîi is smart. I will go have my Rahad Phîi tutor me.”

“Phîi Thǎem would tutor you (mueng), Rǒoe.”

“Ooh, you (mueng) do not know that I (kuu) am the designated guitarist for...Ouch!”

I walk down from the faculty building as soon as I hear the clear voice of my good junior Rahad, then I walk up behind him. But I do not greet him yet, waiting to hear what he and his close friend, junior Dor, are talking about until he raises a finger to touch his lips, making another junior nod in acknowledgment. But when I hear that Lít-Têl thinks he can hope to rely on my support.....I thump his head then.

I really do not have lingering resentment for him, Ná.

“Who is it...Ah! Phîi Thǎem, hello Khráp!” Lít-Têl looks at me as if he wants to settle things

in the first instant, but when he sees that it is me, he raises his hands in a wâi, tears a wide smile instantly, and still does not fail to stretch his hands out straight in front of my face, until I knit my eyebrows sharply.

“What is it?”

“Treat your junior to snacks.”

“I only have mangosteens, Ná, will you eat them?”

“Ooh!” The other party immediately raises his hands to hold his head, shaking his head sharply with a pitiful expression that I used to feel guilty about. But now, I do not feel that way at all. There is only pure resentment, especially when he acts smug.

“But it is not a problem. Têl has eaten salmon from Phîi Khǎi, so it is worth it already.”

Can I request another thump, Rǒoe?

I raise my hand now, but am stopped because Âi'Ker grabs my arm first. He himself laughs, his eyes sparkling, seeming to find it extremely funny when I lose my temper at a junior.

Okay, before this I said I was not jealous, but now I can admit it...I am possessive!

Âi'Ker himself seems to catch on, but he does not say anything. He just turns to nod and return the wâi to junior Dor, before turning to find the little-one who is not as little as his name.

“I (Phîi) hear you got hit on, or Têl?”

“Hah? This Âi'Tern, Phîi? Is there anyone who would want him as a husband?” I want to nod, agreeing with junior Dor, but I brush aside the truth that one of my listeners wants to hit on him. Even though he has never seen his face. At first, I thought they were just joking around for fun. But when Phîi Tôh pressed the VIP button for me, I was going to give him my Line ID and invite him to the group. But Phîi Tôh said it was not a problem. He would Line to ask for Têl's Line ID again.

In summary, Phîi Tôh pressed the VIP button for me in order to find a way to talk to Têl?

I am really confused about when he took a liking. That day, he did not see a face, did not see a body. He only heard the voice and guitar playing skills.

“Ooh, you (mueng) look down on me (kuu). I (kuu) have my (kuu) own assets, Nǎa.” Têl says proudly, but this time Ker shakes his head.

“I (Phîi) heard it from Âi'Thǎem. I (Phîi) think you should not. You have never even seen his face.” My friend warns with good intentions, and I agree. But Lít-Têl instead grins widely, turns to open his bag, then grabs an iPad and holds it up to face us. His mouth speaks proudly.

“It is not a problem, Phîi Ker. Têl confiscated this from Senior Phîi.”

“An iPad? So what?”

“Ah-ha, here. Têl just opened a new Line account to talk to Phîi Tôh. I put up a picture of a guitar. See, Máa? Just this is not dangerous anymore. Just chat by myself. And Têl's sense tells me (kuu) that this Phîi Tôh is not a bad person or anything. Têl thinks he just wants to talk about music more.” I am getting a headache with its sixth sense already. So, does he study accounting or occultism, Rǒoe?

“See? Safe and sound.”

I am starting to worry whether my junior Rahad is truly a dim-wit or not. And I must be showing too much expression on my face, because Lít-Têl continues speaking cheerfully.

“Do not worry about Têl, Ná, Phîi Thǎem. Just Line chat. I have not gone to meet him at all. Phîi Thǎem yourself also has to cater to those who press the VIP button for you, right? Phîi Ker gave a strict lecture about DJ career matters when he took Têl home last time.” It is true that I myself also have to chat playfully, indulge the users who spend money. But I do not think of selling out my junior to eat, you know. Even if Jòm says how heavy that older brother's wallet is.

“Tern himself also wants to have friends to chat with. Plus, Phîi Tôh praised that Têl as good. Ooh, my (kuu) body is shivering. I (kuu) want to be praised again.”

Sometimes I wonder why I worry about what the hell this one is doing.

“What should we do?” But I turn to ask Âi'Ker first, and he falls silent for a moment.

“Let it be that if Têl wants to chat, we Phîi will not forbid it. But do not easily trust people you meet on the internet, okay?” I thought my friend would forbid it, but Âi'Ker agrees just like that, making me hesitate very much. Based on the fact that I am not a person who easily trusts anyone. But the reason I agreed to give my personal Line to this person and that person is purely because of work. So I am not sure whether I should give Têl's special-purpose Line to the older Phîi person or not.

“Wait a minute. So who is the person hitting on you (mueng), Âi'Têl?”

“Do not know a single thing, will you die, Rǒoe, Âi'Sandòn?”

“Damned-animal! I (kuu) am named Don! Later I (kuu) will not let you copy Professor Aom's work!”

“Ah! Sorry, sorry, sorry! It is due tomorrow. You (mueng) are not heartless-person to me (kuu), right?”

RRRRrrrrrrr

I am thinking heavily while watching the two juniors argue. But then, my phone vibrates strongly, so I quickly grab it. Then I fall silent for a moment. After that....the corners of my mouth lift into a smile that grows wider and wider.

“What is wrong, Phîi Thǎem? Your face looks like you won the lottery.”

I frown at the junior for a moment while sliding my fingertip into the Line application, pressing into Lít-Têl's page, and then...

Ding

“That is Phîi Tôh's Line. Go decide for yourself whether to chat or not....Âi'Ker, I (kuu) am going back first.”

“Hey, hey!”

My hesitation disappears in a flash just because of one short message.

....I (chǎn) am in front of the faculty...

That is all. Whether the junior gets deceived, swindled, or stabbed in the back by its sense, I do not care. I manage to spin around and run towards the front of the building, not listening to my friend who calls out in confusion. Until I see a beautiful Mini Cooper parked majestically, I quickly stride fast to find it, opening the door and sitting in the passenger seat rapidly.

“How did Phîi Khǎi come?”

“I (chǎn) came to pick you up.”

“No, no. I mean, did Phîi pass by?” I smile at the driver, in a way that Phîi Khǎi also slowly shakes his head.

Then he tells me with a sentence that makes me unable to close my smile.

“No. I (chǎn) did not pass by. But I (chǎn) came to pick you up on purpose.”

He did not just stop by, but came to find me on purpose....The different intention makes my heart beat with a strange rhythm.

I make eye contact with Phîi Khǎi, and I find that he himself is also staring at my face quietly. Then he stretches his hand out, until I myself inadvertently tense up. But I do not flee. I watch that palm that slides towards my cheek. My heart skips several beats. I know right away that I am waiting for something. But then...that hand passes right by my face.

“Fasten your seatbelt, Ná.”

Psycho!

Ooh! I (kuu) am embarrassed!

I hear the sound of my face's composure shattering into pieces. From thinking he would hold my cheek, would kiss my cheek, or, uh, kiss my mouth, Phîi Khǎi instead slides to pull the safety belt strap to fasten it for me rapidly. He says it with a calm, still voice until my cheeks burn. But this is not shyness.... .this is embarrassment, Khráp!

What the hell are you hoping for, Âi'Thǎem!

I curse myself, but then...

Fwip

“Next time, you do not have to rush. Your face is full of sweat. I (chǎn) can wait.” The driver stretches his hand to wipe the sweat on my forehead for me, until I raise my eyes to look at him again. Then I cannot help feeling that he is worried, until I do not dare tell the truth that this sweat seeped out ever since I left the ice-cold lecture room to encounter the hot air outside. It is not related to me rushing to find him at all. But...Phîi Khǎi is not wrong anyway.

I did rush to find him as soon as I saw the message, that is true.

Besides that, I will probably have to keep my mouth shut because...I like that Phîi Khǎi wipes my face for me gently.

“Will we go eat together today?”

“But today Thǎem has work.”

“After you finish work, then.”

Huh?

Tonight...I (chǎn) will go pick you up, then.

Even though ever since that time I grabbed that part of Phîi Khǎi nothing has progressed, I find that I am becoming closer to Phîi Khǎi more and more. I am trusting him more and more. Because from just eating dinner together (because sometimes Phîi Khǎi just went to bed in the morning, so I do not want to disturb), he has also stopped by to pick me up at the university another two or three times. We talk about miscellaneous things like doing laundry, washing dishes, what we want to eat. It might seem trivial, but I am feeling comforted.

I find that I like talking about ordinary things with him. It makes me feel that we are close. And this morning, when I was about to leave the house because I had to come to work at the clothing store, Phîi Khǎi popped out from the work room and offered to take me to eat. If it were in the past, I would have refused without a second thought. But this time, I instead regret that I have to come to work. And will you believe that I changed into a smile many seconds later when he said he would come pick me up?

Tonight we will go eat together.

I grin widely. I do not hope to eat anything expensive, you know. It is not even in a fraction of my thoughts. And the fact that I also have not gone out to eat with anyone other than my Mâe and friends for a very long time, I eagerly wait for when work will end.

Why is time passing so slowly today?

I think like that, but there is nothing that makes me feel less happy.

***

“Thǎem looks in a good mood today. Is there something good?” It is enough for a coworker to open their mouth and remark.

“Huh? Is it that clear, Phîi?” I raise my hand to touch my own mouth, in a way that the other party nods forcefully.

“Hmm. Today it seems like I heard Thǎem humming a song too. I see. Do you have a date with your romantic partner, Chá, most handsome?” The other party teases, but it makes my face flush hot instantly, just from thinking of the person I have a date with.

“What romantic partner? Not at all.”

I am not Phîi Khǎi's romantic partner at all. Phîi Khǎi still has not successfully hit on me yet...or has he, Rǒoe?

“I see, I see, I see. Your face is red.”

“Oh, there really is nothing, Khráp. Ah...will you take all of them, Khráp?” Before I can reveal it for my coworker to know, I quickly send a smile to a customer who steps out from the fitting room. I take the basket and the number tag that says how many sets of clothes the customer took to try on and returned, asking with a polite tone.

“I do not want these two, Nông. I will take all the rest.”

“Thank you very much, Khráp.”

“Thank you, Khâa.”

I return the basket, then turn to look at the fitting room that looks emptier than usual.

“Customers are not very crowded today, right?”

“That is right. I suspect it is because we are past the end of the month already.”

Last week was busy to the extreme. What with the store full of customers, what with changing the display merchandise. Plus, Âi'Ker still came to annoy my nerves for fun. So today, being stationed at the fitting room with another female Phîi, I feel strangely free.

“Junior, junior, Khráp.”

I think I complain too much, because suddenly, a customer from the men's fitting room side calls out, until I turn back to look at my coworker. Each side is suspicious, but I quickly walk to find the person who sticks his face out past the curtain, then ask with a polite smile.

“Is there any problem, Khun customer?” The other party leans his head in a little, until I must try not to step back and flee.

“The zipper is stuck, Ná.”

“Uh.” When he states the problem, I fall silent for several moments because I am confident that the clothing this period focuses heavily on t-shirts and polo shirts. They are not winter jackets that often come with zippers. Therefore, the thing that is stuck is probably not the upper part, but likely the lower part, like pants.

End of processing. I almost turn to look at the other coworker, because I forget that over there is also a woman.

It has to be me (kuu) anyway!

“Can you help? It is stuck with the boxers.”

Even though some people praise how cute I am, I am also a man. I can somewhat understand the heavy-hearted problem when a zipper gets stuck, especially there. Probably no one wants all the store staff to come help pry a zipper. And I confirm again that it is a man. Therefore, it is not as damaging as having the other female Phîi come help.

“Please try sliding it slowly, Khráp.”

“If I (Phîi) could do it, would I (Phîi) call you, junior?” The customer begins to get irritated, until I hesitate for just a moment.

“Let me take a look, Khráp.” I stick my head into the narrow fitting room, then almost startle and flee when the other party pulls his shirt up above his big belly, until I see messy pubic hair. Moreover, the jeans that the person there is wearing look several sizes smaller than his actual size. No wonder it is stuck. The important thing is the zipper that is stuck with the boxers. It is perilously close to that part.

“Can you come in and help me (Phîi), junior?”

“Uh, there is a rule that forbids closing the curtain to be with customers, Khráp. I think..."

“Then what do you want me (Phîi) to do! Will you announce it to make me (Phîi) ashamed, echoing through the store!” The other party becomes more and more dissatisfied. And my hesitant manner must make my coworker notice, because that person also walks over. And that makes the customer...

Thump

“Hey!”

The other party pulls me into the fitting room. He also closes the curtain rapidly, until I am panicked. But I still have enough presence of mind to stick my head out past the curtain to tell my coworker.

“The customer's zipper is stuck, Phîi. Let me try to help look first.”

“Should I (Phîi) go tell the manager?”

“Let me try to look first.” I force a smile to send, not wanting it to become a big deal. Until the other party goes back to her post at the entrance to the fitting room again, I turn to look at the large-built customer who is making a face like he wants to settle things.

“Excuse me, Khráp.”

Now my voice begins to tremble, as I bend down to look at the other party's pants target. But this is not a feeling of excitement like when I grabbed Phîi Khǎi's thing. Rather, it is heart-gripping fear like the first time I encountered that part of Phîi Khǎi, until I feel my hands begin to get sweaty. But I brace myself by reaching to grab the end of the zipper and sliding it gently.

“Gently, then, junior.”

I (kuu) am being gentle already, you bloody fucker!

I almost hold my breath because from this angle I cannot see it, so I have to bend my body down a little more. The person there is willingly doing what I do not want by arching that part towards me. This closeness makes me see the messy pubic hair more clearly, and it also makes me see how the zipper is caught with the boxer fabric more clearly.

“It is tangled together, Khráp, Phîi.”

“Then you hurry and pull it, junior.”

From the heart, I want to call for the manager now.

I quickly suppress the petulance in my heart, then take a deep breath. I stretch my hand in to grab one end of the zipper, grab the other edge of the boxers to pull them apart from each other. But...

I (kuu) touched it, Âi'Shit-lizard! I (kuu) touched it!

I tremble all over when the hand that pinched the boxers definitely touches that part, until goosebumps rise all over my body. I feel terrible in a way I cannot describe. But I console myself that this is a customer, and he is also upset that he cannot take off his pants. Just bear with it a little, it will come loose soon. So I close my ears and eyes, trying to fix the stuck zipper with my minimal ability, only to find that...

“Junior, put some more force into it.”

It...it...it is expanding!

This time I am not laughing anymore, because the part that should be calm inside the boxers is hardening against my hand. Plus, the customer's urging voice is becoming hoarse, until I brace myself to glance up at his face. Then I find that he is making a face...completely horny.

Thump

“Just grab it, then, junior. Jerk-jerk. When will you finish?”

No, no, no! I do not want this!

The other party says while panting. Not satisfied, he also seizes my hand and grabs thump onto the pants target, which is hardening and poking against my hand rapidly, until my consciousness scatters. Fear takes over my heart, equal to the feeling of nausea that assaults my throat. I am confident it is different from when Phîi Khǎi lifted the blanket.

Right now I am disgusted!

“Hmm, ooh, junior, fix the zipper. Is it not your duty?”

What bloody fucking duty!

I want to curse in his face, but what I do is tears well up in my eyes. I am stunned until my body is stiff. I am scared until I cannot do anything. I cannot find the voice to call for help. The more they push my hand to touch that part more… I know right away that I am about to cry.

“Junior's face is damn cute.”

They deliberately called me in to do this from the start!

“Ph-...Phîi, let me go. Th-...there are many people outside, Phîi.” I use my last bit of presence of mind to beg it, but this horny person does not care. It makes an even more lustful face that makes me tremble all over, forcing my hand to rub against that part under the pants, panting with a hoarse breath. And just as I intend to quickly retreat outside the curtain,

Thump

they instead use their other hand to knead my ass and pull me towards their body.

“Ph-...let... let me go, let me go, let me go.” Now my arms are weak all over. I am disgusted until I almost vomit as it rubs my ass, rubs that thing against my hand, until I know I am not okay with that part of every man. Honestly, I am okay only with Phîi Khǎi. And that makes my tears trickle.

“I-...I will call someone else, Phîi.”

“Shhh, go ahead. Everyone will think that you came in willingly to play with me (Phîi). Ooh, junior's face is really cute.”

My appearance of being about to cry makes it...harder than before!

I do not want this anymore! Mâe, help your junior Thǎem. Phîi Khǎi, help Thǎem. I do not want this anymore. Thǎem is scared, scared. Huhk...

“Phîi Khǎi, Phîi Khǎi, Phîi Khǎi, Phîi Khǎi.”

I do not know what I am doing, but my lips are moving, calling the name of the person I want to rely on the most. And that is not my Mâe, but....it is Phîi Khǎi.

“Phîi Khǎi, help Thǎem!”

I call out as much as my own consciousness has, but it comes out faint and weak like a person without strength. And it further intensifies the mood of the psycho who brings its body to rub against my hand more and more. It must be presumptuous that I am not resisting. But in truth, my consciousness is about to go out. I am so scared I could faint and collapse right now, until I tell myself, do not. If I fall, I do not know at all what it will do to me. It definitely will not take me to lie on a nice bed like Phîi Khǎi!

Huhk, Phîi Khǎi.

“Chôoe-Tǎem!!!”

“Khun customer, Khâa, no...Eek!!!”

Suddenly, the curtain behind me is yanked open with full force. But what makes me happier is the extremely strong voice of the person I want to see the most. The person whom my coworker tried to hold back, but instead has to scream eek in shock when she sees what condition I am in.

“Phîi Khǎi, help Thǎem...huhk....please.”

I just realize I am crying because I cannot see Phîi Khǎi's face clearly, and I also do not see the following images clearly either.

Thump

"Go to hell!!!"

I just know that I am yanked away from that Âi'Shit-lizard, until I am flung behind Phîi Khǎi while my coworker quickly grabs my arm. In my ears, I hear a loud curse that I did not think a calm person like Phîi Khǎi could make. After that, I hear the painful scream of the horny person, until I have to wipe the tears from my face.

Whack!

I am not sure how many punches Phîi Khǎi hits that Âi'Shit-lizard with, but it must be enough to make it fall to the ground in a heap. And Phîi Khǎi does not hesitate at all to slam the tip of his shoe into that disgusting part that it rubbed against me with full force, making it choke until it cannot speak. It can only lie holding its crotch, being a sandbag for Phîi Khǎi to stomp on, until the sound of shoes hitting the lump of flesh echoes non-stop.

“Stop, Khráp, Khun customer! Stop first, stop!”

The store manager runs in, trying to stop Phîi Khǎi, but is instead flung behind by the big-built person, until the coworker who squeezes my arm in shock shakes me forcefully.

“Oh god, oh god! What should we do?”

It is enough to call my consciousness back, until I call out...

“Phîi Khǎi.”

Screech

The long leg that is about to slam into the lump of flesh on the floor halts mid-air. Then Phîi Khǎi turns back to look at me immediately. The pair of sharp eyes filled with anger transform into sorrow. And that also makes me....cry.

“Phîi Khǎi, huhk, Phîi Khǎi...”

Thump

I merely stretch my hands out forward, and Phîi Khǎi lunges in to gather me into his embrace. One hand strokes my back. The other hand strokes my head, while I myself bury my face against the slope of his shoulder. My two hands clutch Phîi Khǎi's shirt tightly, together with the feeling that I am safe now. This place right here is the safest place for me.

The feeling of disgust is as if being brushed away by warmth, while I can only cry petulantly like a little-one, calling only Phîi Khǎi's name repeatedly.

“Phîi Khǎi, huhk...Phîi Khǎi, Thǎem is scared...Thǎem is scared...”

“It is okay, Chôoe-Tǎem. It is okay. I (chǎn) am right here. I (chǎn) came to help you (thooe) already. It is okay.” The touch that strokes my head makes me close my eyes, letting tears drop after drop flow down. I try to bury myself into his embrace as if wanting to possess Phîi Khǎi's body.

“What the hell happened here?”

“That Âi'Guy said the zipper was stuck and then called Thǎem in to help. I (nǔu) saw it was taking a long time, Phîi, but I (nǔu) did not dare come in. The next thing I (nǔu) know, this Khun customer charges into the fitting room. When I (nǔu) was about to stop him, he yanks the curtain open. So I (nǔu) see that it is using that thing to rub against Thǎem's body. Call the police, Phîi! A psycho like this must make it front-page news!” I hear my coworker tell the manager Phîi, while both staff and customers are starting to gather and watch.

I should be relieved that I am not misunderstood as being willing. But I am even more relieved that Phîi Khǎi is right here.

“How are you, Thǎem?” I hear the manager Phîi's voice. He stretches his hand to touch my shoulder, but it makes me startle intensely. And that also makes Phîi Khǎi pull me to dodge.

“Later I (Phîi) will handle this side. Go rest first today.” The manager says with a sympathetic tone.

My state of crying petulantly must be really terrible. Even though I am embarrassed that as a man I am showing weakness like this, but as long as Phîi Khǎi is with me, I instead feel that my weakness is ready to burst out. It is even more than when I am with my Mâe, because then I am afraid that my Mâe will worry. But when it is Phîi Khǎi, I find that I am ready to ask for his help.

“Huhk...Khráp, Khráp.”

I nod forcefully. Now I do not have the strength to continue working, and I do not want to become a target of anyone's gaze either. But...

“No. Chôoe-Tǎem will quit.”

Suddenly, Phîi Khǎi speaks up, interrupting between me and the Phîi manager, until I also lift my tear-stained face to look up at him. I then meet with brilliant eyes that are terrifying several dozen times more, even though normally he already has terrifying eyes. So much that the Phîi manager himself is startled.

As for Phîi Khǎi, he hugs me tighter, pushing my face to press against his neck.

“I will not allow Chôoe-Tǎem to work at a job that risks encountering something like this again!” He says with a strong voice until it is like an order.

“Wait a minute, Khun. Thǎem has not said anything yet.” I know this period is short-staffed. It is not strange that the manager quickly objects, but he is not as fast as the person holding me.

“I already said that I will not allow it!”

“But Phîi Khǎi, tha-...but Thǎem needs money...” I also try to tell him with a trembling voice, and he lowers his head to look at me. The gaze that looks terrifying softens immediately.

“It is not a problem. I (chǎn) can manage it for you. We will go home together, okay?”

I know I should argue with him, but I instead nod repeatedly, clutching his shirt tightly, not caring anymore whether I have to quit or not. Right now, I ask to place all decisions with the person who came to help me.

“Move aside. I will take Chôoe-Tǎem back!”

Phîi Khǎi finishes speaking and takes me out of the store rapidly. He makes me walk to the parking lot. He makes me get in the car, in a way that I can only do as he says. Because I know… Phîi Khǎi will choose the best things for me.

My whole being, not just my hand that is holding his hand, but I am placing my heart into his care.