MA Chapter 14: Pay For Me Then; Don't Pay For Others

Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
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Perspective Chôoe-Tǎem

Ker says, “Âi'Thǎem, if you (mueng) are going to sit there with a sour face like this, your (mueng) attractive face is going to be ruined, I (chǎn) swear.”

“I (kuu) am not sour!”

“Hmmmm, your (mueng) mouth is pouting and your (mueng) eyes are wide, plus your (mueng) cheeks... ” Âi'Ker laughs with sparkling eyes, then jabs my (chǎn) cheek with full force. “They’re puffed out like a goldfish, you (mueng).”

“I (kuu) am hurt.”

“Hahaha, well why are you (mueng) puffing your (mueng) cheeks then? I (kuu) see it and I (kuu) want to poke them.”

I (chǎn) hold my (chǎn) cheeks and glare at my (chǎn) close friend who is laughing heartily. But I (chǎn) also just realize what kind of face I (chǎn) am making. However, before I (chǎn) can open my (chǎn) mouth to scold him for teasing me (chǎn), the very cause that made me (chǎn) frown so hard my (chǎn) eyebrows are scrunched is chirping its way into my (chǎn) ears, forcing me (chǎn) to turn and look back in the same direction.

Again!

“Elder Phîi Khǎi is the best! Elder Phîi can use this thing too? Têl thought only coffee shops would have it.”

“It’s not difficult.”

“Têl thinks it’s hard. Just seeing all those many buttons is dizzying enough.”

From when Lít-Têl referred to himself as 'I' while in the car, now the junior has switched to using his nickname. He is currently wagging his tail, running around the giant-like man who is standing in front of the espresso machine again.

I (chǎn) have seen this machine for a while too, but I (chǎn) thought he just bought it for home decor. I (chǎn) only just found out he makes it regularly. I (chǎn) can't help but wonder if he cleans it himself too. I (chǎn) thought someone like him would leave evidence in the sink, but judging from now... he's extremely proficient, Looei.

And what I (chǎn) can't help feeling bad about is that I (chǎn) didn't find out myself, but the person who told me (chǎn) is... Têl.

Rewind to about ten minutes ago, when we entered the room. I (chǎn) told Khun Khǎi that I (chǎn) would serve water for my (chǎn) friend, but he said calmly for me (chǎn) to go sit down, he would handle it. When I (chǎn) was about to protest, he said again to go take care of my (chǎn) friend. So I (chǎn) went to sit next to Âi'Ker on the sofa. But when I (chǎn) turned around, Lít-Têl, who asked to use the bathroom, had run over to the homeowner's side, pointing at the coffee machine. And I (chǎn) couldn't believe it... he said he would make some to drink.

Beyond that, he let Têl help beside him.

I (chǎn) stood frozen, dumbstruck as if hit on the head with a hammer.

After that, my (chǎn) face became exactly what my (chǎn) close friend said. And now my (chǎn) mouth isn't pouting anymore. I (chǎn) press my (chǎn) lips tight together. My (chǎn) junior Rahad is placing both hands on the shoulders of the taller person, leaning in to look closely. I (chǎn) don't understand myself why I (chǎn) feel peculiar about this image.

I (chǎn) should know that Têl is someone who gets along with people easily. The junior even likes to jump and hug my (chǎn) neck. So with just placing hands on shoulders and... looking intimate like this, Nii.

“Elder Phîi Khǎi, Elder Phîi, put lots of milk in mine, Ná.”

“Hmm, do you want some snacks to have with the coffee?”

“You, Khun, have that too, Elder Phîi! What is it? I want to eat, eat.”

“Look in that cabinet over there. If you want to eat anything, you can take it.”

"Yay! Elder Phîi Khǎi is so incredibly kind, Khráp."

If Âi'Têl could press his head against Khun Khǎi's shoulder, he probably would have done it already. Because just this makes him tug excitedly at the man's black dress shirt, and then he runs gleefully to open the snack cabinet, grabbing two or three things, his mouth chirping away.

"They have this brand too? Têl has only seen the blue package sold in Thailand. Elder Phîi Khǎi, this red package like this, is it the soft cookies, Mǎi?" In Lít-Têl's hand are two colors of a famous cookie brand. I (chǎn) also just found out that in Thailand, only the blue package is sold. Since the first day I (chǎn) came to clean, I (chǎn) have seen a good ten of these red packages lying still in the cabinet. I (chǎn) am not a sweets person myself, unlike my (chǎn) junior Rahad who is now shaking the snacks with great interest.

But I (chǎn) am even more dumbstruck when...

The person who stepped away from the coffee machine comes to stand behind my (chǎn) junior Rahad. My (chǎn) junior is handsome, tall, with long limbs. But Khun Khǎi... is even taller, has even longer arms, and is now reaching past Têl's back to grab a snack placed at the very back of the cabinet and hand it to him.

“Try this brand.”

You Khun Khǎi! Lít-Têl turns around, looks up. Think about it! My (chǎn) junior is tall and still has to look up at him.

This image still makes me (chǎn) unable to stop thinking... they suit each other.

“Hmph!” I (chǎn) don't know what face I (chǎn) am making. I (chǎn) just jerk my (chǎn) head away, making a crazy sound in my (chǎn) throat, only to... meet the sparkling, shimmering gaze of my (chǎn) close friend.

The person who is leaning his face close and saying...

“Don't make a face like that, Ná, Nông Thǎem. Later he'll think... you're jealous of your (thooe) romantic partner.”

Whack!

“Ouch!!!”

I (chǎn) ignore the cry of my (chǎn) close friend who raises his hands to cover his face, because I (chǎn) push his face away with full force. I (chǎn) spring up to stand straight immediately. I (chǎn) don't care if this sound draws the gazes of the other two people in the kitchen. Right now, I (chǎn) press my (chǎn) lips tight, then grab my (chǎn) backpack, and stomp quickly towards the bedroom.

Right now, I (chǎn) don't want to see your Khun Khǎi's face!

Seriously!!! When he's with me (chǎn), his face is still like a hundred threads are sewn shut! But when he's with Âi'Têl, the threads melt.

I (chǎn) am angry, Looei!

I (chǎn) don't know why I (chǎn) am angry, but my (chǎn) heart is pounding thump thump thump thump as if something is squeezing it hard. I (chǎn) feel my (chǎn) breathing is labored. My (chǎn) hands and limbs feel like they are blocking my (chǎn) ears and eyes. In the end, I (chǎn) can only flop down to sit on the bed, grab a pillow to hug with both hands, and then... bury my (chǎn) face in the pillow, not knowing who to take it out on.

Truly, I (chǎn) think I (chǎn) have never been as angry with anyone as I (chǎn) am with Khun Khǎi before! Oh, right now, that includes Âi'Têl.

“Assault someone and then flee into the room, you (mueng),” Âi'Ker says, following me (chǎn) in while rubbing his face. But I (chǎn) ignore him. I (chǎn) turn my (chǎn) face away in the other direction. I (chǎn) don't want to talk to him who says crazy things.

Jealous, my (chǎn) ass! We're not even anything to each other. And I (chǎn) won't be anything with that stone-faced guy!

“I (kuu) didn't flee.”

“Khráp, Khráp, not fleeing, Khráp. Âi'Têl is as confused as a chicken with its head cut off out there.”

“So what.”

“You Khun Khǎi of yours (mueng) is terribly worried about you (mueng).”

Snap!

Suddenly, I (chǎn) turn to look at the speaker, only to realize... I (chǎn) fell for it.

“Are you (mueng) teasing me (kuu) or what, Âi'Ker!”

My (chǎn) close friend, who is smiling widely with satisfaction, and even acts like he's holding back laughter until his shoulders shake. His manner shows he is having the time of his life teasing me (chǎn). And I (chǎn) don't know why he likes to drag things into a connection with Khun Khǎi so much. Before, he urged me (chǎn) to just give in to him. Now he's still saying crazy things like I (chǎn) am jealous of him. Whether he worries about me (chǎn) or not is his business!

“There, there, Elder Phîi Ker doesn't dare tease Nông Thǎem, Khráp.” He probably knows he went too far, because he walks over to sit down beside me (chǎn), raising a hand to embrace my (chǎn) shoulder and appease me (chǎn). But I (chǎn) don't see any need for him to appease me (chǎn). So I (chǎn) shake his arm off. But Âi'Ker insists on embracing me (chǎn) until he succeeds, and then he whispers.

“Do you (mueng) know what your (mueng) symptoms are called... ”

“I (kuu) am not jealous!” I (chǎn) retort immediately, making him laugh.

“No, no, I (kuu) didn't say you (mueng) are jealous. Your (mueng) symptoms are called... ” I (chǎn) stare at him sharply, looking at my (chǎn) friend who utters only these words.

“Dog-guarding-a-bone.”

Whump... Whack!

That's it. I (chǎn) grab the pillow placed on my (chǎn) lap and smack him right in the face with it, until Âi'Ker laughs out loud. He probably isn't hurt, but my (chǎn) heart itches intensely as if someone threw itch powder at me (chǎn), just from hearing that I (chǎn) am a dog guarding a bone.

No way. I (chǎn) can even share my (chǎn) mother with my (chǎn) junior. With just Khun Khǎi... you (thooe) can have him, Looei.

Whack! Whack!!

The thought makes me (chǎn) hit the pillow against my (chǎn) close friend harder. Now, not sitting beside the bed anymore, I (chǎn) get up on the bed, straddling Âi'Ker who has lain down sprawled out, and use the same pillow to hit him repeatedly, venting my (chǎn) anger.

“Âi'Friend, you damned-animal!”

“Wowwwww, Elder Phîi Thǎem is straddling Elder Phîi Ker. I have to go tell my friends this news.”

Snap!

Suddenly, there is a sound from the doorway that was left open. I (chǎn) turn around almost too late. And instead of meeting the eyes of Âi'Têl who followed in with a tray of snacks, I (chǎn) instead lock eyes with the stone-faced man whose dark eyebrows are even more deeply furrowed together. The eyes that a moment ago I (chǎn) thought looked amused while with my (chǎn) junior have changed to still and calm. Moreover, they are flat and scary, so much so that even I (chǎn) freeze.

Creak.

"As you (thooe) please."

Everything is dead silent, because even Âi'Ker doesn't dare make a sound. I (chǎn) myself am stuck in the position of straddling my (chǎn) friend. I (chǎn) watch the homeowner place a tray with three cups of coffee on the table, then walk out.

Bang.

“Can I take a picture of you two who are going to atone for your (thooe) friend... ”

Wham!!!

As the door closes, Âi'Têl is pulling out his mobile phone at that very moment, and my (chǎn) hand... throws the pillow right into the middle of my (chǎn) junior Rahad's face with full force!

“Ouch, that hurts, Elder Phîi Thǎem!”

Yeah, well, I (kuu) threw it to hurt!

I (chǎn) look at him with clouded eyes, swiftly getting down from the bed. My (chǎn) eyes turn to look at the snack tray, look at the coffee cups, look at my (chǎn) junior Rahad's face which is pouting in annoyance. And then he even says more...

“Elder Phîi Thǎem is a heartless-person, Looei. Not like Elder Phîi Khǎi at all.”

“Hey, Âi'Thǎem! That's a junior! A junior, I (kuu) say!!!”

I (chǎn) make a move to turn and grab the bedside lamp, until Âi'Ker hurriedly jumps up to grab my (chǎn) arm tightly. I (chǎn) shoot an irritated glance at him.

Looei! Irritated!

Why am I (chǎn) getting this irritated, Rǒoe!!!

“Elder Phîi Thǎem is heartless. Elder Phîi Thǎem is black-hearted. Elder Phîi Thǎem hurt Têl.”

“Yeah, Elder Phîi is heartless and black-hearted. So what.”

"Hee, Têl will tattle on Elder Phîi Thǎem.”

So cute it's deadly. Thîi-rák is much cuter than him.

After the pillow war ends, Lít-Têl goes to sit pouting in a corner of the room, hugging his knees, looking at me (chǎn) with a reproachful gaze. I (chǎn) affirm again that my (chǎn) junior Rahad is handsome. But I (chǎn) believe that the reason he doesn't have a romantic partner even though he has good looks is because of this childish personality, Nîi.

Who would take him as a romantic partner? It's more like having another child.

Right now he is clearly showing that he is mad at me (chǎn). But does he think I (chǎn) care? Because I (chǎn) am also sitting with crossed arms, turned away in the other direction.

“Be mad if you want.”

“Elder Phîi Thǎem!”

The scene of us, with Âi' one person sitting sipping coffee, holding back laughter until his shoulders shake, looking left and right. But he doesn't speak up to mediate like he usually does. It seems like Âi'Ker is very entertained to watch, so much so that I (chǎn) glance at him. At the same moment, my (chǎn) junior Rahad also turns to look at him.

“Elder Phîi Ker, Elder Phîi Thǎem bullied Têl” Yeah, mine is just a glance, but Âi'Têl is tattling!

“There, there, come here. Let Elder Phîi comfort you (thooe) instead.” Âi'Ker lives up to being a man of the people, because he walks over to pat the head of the person hugging his knees pat pat, but can't help turning back to look at me (chǎn) with a wide smile.

“There, there, little junior, tiny one. Elder Phîi Thǎem of yours (thooe) is just in a bit of a bad mood.”

“But Elder Phîi Thǎem took it out on Têl. Têl hasn't done anything wrong yet.” Now I (chǎn) am starting to thoroughly loathe my (chǎn) junior Rahad. Before, I (chǎn) thought he was cute, plus I (chǎn) felt sorry that someone like me (chǎn) was his senior Rahad. But when he makes a pouting face, tugs at my (chǎn) friend's shirt sleeve tug tug, tattling like a little youth even though his body isn't little, I (chǎn) think even if I (chǎn) had money, I (chǎn) would not feed him!

“But regarding this, Têl is wrong, Ná.”

Hmm?

I (chǎn) also turn back to meet my (chǎn) close friend's eyes when Âi'Ker says that. And I (chǎn) see that his eyes are sparkling like someone about to burst out laughing, but he uses the tone of a senior.

A kind-hearted senior comforting Lít-Têl, who is as confused as a chicken with its head cut off.

“Têl made Âi'Thǎem jealous, you see.”

“Hey! I (kuu) am not!” I (chǎn) yell loudly, refuting the accusation. Meanwhile, my (chǎn) junior Rahad doesn't listen to a word I (chǎn) say. He looks up at his senior of illustrious status.

“Têl did? And did Têl make Elder Phîi Thǎem jealous of Elder Phîi Ker or Elder Phîi Khǎi, Rǔue?”

“Hey! Not Khun Khǎi!” Well, of course I (chǎn) am startled. I (chǎn) look at the person who thinks I (chǎn) am jealous of that stone-faced guy outside, which is impossible anyway. Even if I (chǎn) am slow about feelings of love, I (chǎn) understand that jealousy is a symptom of people in love who are possessive of the other party. But Khun Khǎi and I (chǎn) are just employer and housekeeper. How could I (chǎn) be jealous of him... Right?

“Then it's Elder Phîi Ker.”

“No!” Of course, I (chǎn) am not jealous of Âi'Ker. Even if he found a romantic partner right now, or if he started dating Têl right now, I (chǎn) would have no reason to be possessive of him. I (chǎn) only ask that he still helps be my (chǎn) pairing when I (chǎn) host the show.

“Then why is Elder Phîi Thǎem angry at Têl?” The junior looks at me (chǎn) with blinking eyes. Even though I (chǎn) know he doesn't have bad intentions, I (chǎn) can't help feeling uncomfortable with this kind of gaze. It's like telling me (chǎn) to suddenly consider what cause this symptom is arising from. And before I (chǎn) can examine the feeling further, I (chǎn) turn my (chǎn) face away to avoid it.

“I am not angry,” I (chǎn) insist, even though my (chǎn) voice is so weak it's pitiful. Meanwhile, Âi'Ker continues comforting the junior.

“There, there. Têl, don't be mad at Âi'Thǎem, Looei. Later it will cry, Ná.”

I (chǎn) move my (chǎn) mouth, mumbling silently. I (chǎn) swear even if my (chǎn) junior Rahad gets so angry he won't look at my (chǎn) face, I (chǎn) will not shed a single tear for him. Meanwhile, Lít-Têl himself lets out a heavy sigh, acting like he's thinking very hard, even though his mouth is already breaking into a wider smile.

“Okay, Têl isn't mad anymore. Free dinner tonight then.”

I (chǎn) want to call him a misser, but I (chǎn) am afraid of the retort turning back on me (chǎn).

"Yeah, well, then I (kuu) will go make dinner.” So I (chǎn) just change the subject. And since I (chǎn) came back to the room instead of going to eat at my (chǎn) friend's house, well then, I (chǎn) must do my (chǎn) duty properly. Also, I (chǎn) will feel less guilty for almost never feeding my (chǎn) junior. Even if the money for ingredients comes from the room's owner, I (chǎn) making it myself counts as feeding him, so let it be.

“Elder Phîi Thǎem doesn't have to make it.”

Suddenly, the person hoping for free food turns to tell me (chǎn), still with a beaming smile, so I (chǎn) frown sharply. Before I (chǎn) can even ask, he clears up the confusion.

“Just now, Elder Phîi Khǎi called and ordered. Japanese food at that. I said I wanted to eat raw fish, so Elder Phîi Khǎi ordered salmon sashimi for four people. There's eel rice bowls and also seaweed salad... ”

“What!” I (chǎn) am startled, Looei!

However, Lít-Têl seems completely engrossed in this dinner, because he smiles wider than before, describing it with expressive gestures.

“While Têl was watching Elder Phîi Khǎi make coffee, Têl told Elder Phîi Khǎi that Elder Phîi Thǎem and Elder Phîi Ker would treat me to food. So Elder Phîi Khǎi asked what I wanted to eat. There were choices too, Elder Phîi. Italian, Thai, Chinese, Korean, even Vietnamese. But when he asked about Japanese food, I said yes immediately. Elder Phîi opened his phone to show the menu. After that, Elder Phîi Thǎem, your (thooe) relative is an ultimate pay, Looei. He called the restaurant owner on Line immediately, and ordered each menu item. Têl was drooling.” The storyteller gives me (chǎn) another wide grin, not seeing at all that I (chǎn) am clenching my (chǎn) fists so tight they're numb.

“How much?” I (chǎn) still have the heart to ask.

“Hmm, if Têl remembers correctly, the eel rice bowl is over eight hundred baht per plate. Four plates is three thousand two. Roughly. Salmon is fifteen hundred. Hmm, didn't catch the price of the sweet egg and seaweed salad. But this meal is definitely not less than five thousand!” Lít-Têl even spreads his hand to show all five fingers, his mood visibly lifting at the prospect of eating good food. But I (chǎn)... am angry enough to see black.

“I (kuu) am going to talk to Khun Khǎi... ”

Whump.

"What, Âi'Ker!"

I (chǎn) turn to look at my (chǎn) friend's face. He caught my (chǎn) arm just in time, and he tells me (chǎn),

“His money isn't your (mueng) money.”

“But is he crazy or what? Five thousand per meal... ”

“That's why I (kuu) said, his money isn't your (mueng) money. It's his business who he pays for. It's not like Khun Khǎi can only pay for you (mueng) alone, I (kuu) say.” I (chǎn) stare back into my (chǎn) friend's eyes, and then... press my (chǎn) lips tighter and tighter.

That's right. It's his business who he pays for. It's his business if Khun Khǎi pays for Têl to eat.

I (chǎn) turn to look at my (chǎn) junior Rahad, whose mood has visibly improved, but my (chǎn) mood has instantly worsened. I (chǎn) clench my (chǎn) hands until my (chǎn) nails almost tear. And at that moment...

Ding dong.

Snap.

“I (kuu) know it's his money,” I (chǎn) say as I (chǎn) finish, then stride out of the room, immediately seeing Khun Khǎi who has just received the food from the condo staff.

The manner of the people here seems accustomed to this person's ordering habits, because residents of other rooms probably go down to get it themselves. Only this room has the condo staff receive it and bring it up to the door. And then he turns to meet my (chǎn) eyes. I (chǎn) don't know if I (chǎn) imagine it, but Khun Khǎi hesitates for a moment.

“I told you, Khun, that I would make dinner myself.” I (chǎn) am not picking a fight with him. I (chǎn) try to tell him in a calm voice, but why does it sound shaky and choked up somehow?

He looks down at the things in his hand, then says calmly,

“Consider it treating your (thooe) friend.”

Double-take.

Why do I (chǎn) have to be disappointed with his answer? So then, the reason he ordered all that food was because he wanted to treat my (chǎn) junior, right? It's not just me (chǎn) he buys things for. Any youth, he's willing to pay for them all. Until I (chǎn) feel a hot sensation in my (chǎn) eyes, as if the truth is rushing straight to hit my (chǎn) face that he isn't trying to give to me (chǎn) alone.

What a dim-wit, Âi'Thǎem!

I (chǎn) try to push that thought out of my (chǎn) head, looking at the person who walks to place two large bags of food on the kitchen counter. Then he takes only one box of grilled eel rice and one bottle of green tea. After that, he walks back to stop right in front of me (chǎn).

“Have fun with your (thooe) friend.”

Lately, I (chǎn) have started to catch the mood when he smiles. But right now, there are only cold eyes. And then he walks past, about to enter the study, if not for my (chǎn) junior Rahad who is walking out with a beaming smile.

“Enjoy your (thooe) meal.”

See. He doesn't smile for me (chǎn). But he seems to smile for Têl.

You Khun Khǎi goes into the study, while Âi'Têl runs towards me (chǎn). His destination is probably the food more than anything, but he still brakes in front of me (chǎn) and opens his eyes wide.

“Elder Phîi Thǎem, did dust get in your (thooe) eyes? They are bright red.”

I (chǎn) widen my (chǎn) eyes, raising my (chǎn) hand to cover my (chǎn) face almost too late, shaking my (chǎn) head sharply. I (chǎn) say in a strong voice...

“No.”

I (chǎn) did not cry. Not one bit!

After the dinner which I (chǎn) could hardly eat, Âi'Ker excuses himself to go get things from the car.

Then he returns with his beloved laptop, along with camera equipment and a small microphone. Because in truth, the reason I (chǎn) was going to eat at his house was to borrow these things to host the show. I (chǎn) didn't want to leave it too long, afraid the listeners would get bored waiting and abandon me (chǎn). After all, that is one of my (chǎn) channels for earning money.

But today I (chǎn)... don't feel like hosting at all.

“Just do it, you (mueng) already told the group that you (thooe) would go on late today.” Âi'Ker says this while the person who is stuffing salmon with excellent dipping sauce into his mouth, five pieces at a time in one go, turns to make big eyes.

“Aww ow ee Thǎem aww ee uh oo.”

“Hahaha, Elder Phîi doesn't understand. Swallow all that first, then talk.” Âi'Ker laughs at the junior, while also handing a tissue to him, even making a move to wipe his mouth for him. But Têl takes it and wipes in one swift motion, swallowing the food in one go.

“So Elder Phîi Thǎem really is a DJ? I heard his friends say Elder Phîi hosts on IG, but at first I didn't believe it. Normally, Elder Phîi Thǎem talks so little it's deadly.” He comments. This means in the university, there are probably many people who know about this. No wonder. News about me (chǎn) and Âi'Ker spreads so fast.

“Do you know when Âi'Thǎem talks a lot?” my (chǎn) close friend asks.

“When, Elder Phîi?”

“When he's being a misser.” I (chǎn) really want to hit him on the head with the equipment. But I (chǎn) don't argue. Yeah, I (chǎn) am a misser!

“And you (mueng) just do the show. We went to the trouble of having help.” I (chǎn) point at his face, as if to say 'you'. But Âi'Ker laughs, then points a finger at the other person.

“No, the little tiny one, on the other hand.”

“Me?” Têl himself also points a finger at his own chest with a confused expression, not different from me (chǎn), until the one person who knows the whole story explains further.

“Elder Phîi heard news that Têl is good at playing guitar. Since you (thooe) brought it along anyway, play a song. Elder Phîi will sing live with Thǎem. Guaranteed full audience... Oh, no refusing. Consider it you've eaten the payment already. Otherwise, spit the salmon back out.” He strong-arms with a straight face. But I (chǎn) don't agree. Anyway, that salmon isn't my (chǎn) money. But...

“And you (mueng) can't refuse either. Haven't hosted in a long time. Consider it compensation for the users. Many people pressed VIP for you (mueng). And how many days have you (thooe) hosted this month? Full service, Looei.” No, I (chǎn) think Âi'Ker is just thinking it would be fun to sing live in front of the camera more than anything. I (chǎn) let out a huge sigh. Even though I (chǎn) am secretly a bit annoyed with my (chǎn) junior Rahad, but if that's the case, then let's go along with it.

“Sure, Elder Phîi Ker. I may seem crazy and dumb like this, but my family is a family of musicians. Just guitar is a piece of cake.” I (chǎn) don't pay attention to my (chǎn) junior Rahad bragging that his grandfather is a pianist, his grandmother plays violin, his father plays cello, or his older brother plays guitar, his older sister plays bass. Let's just say I (chǎn) know he can play guitar.

“But I won't appear on camera. Later, if people know that this person here pressured Elder Phîi to lend things to a friend, I am afraid my own stuff will break, Ná.” He even has the face to confess this with a smile.

“Ready, Âi'Thǎem?”

Âi'Ker is the one who handles turning on the equipment, entering the program, arranging the camera, making sure the camera is showing the backdrop with the large, nice-looking bed. I (chǎn) am confident the whole room looks good, unlike my (chǎn) old dorm where I (chǎn) had to hang cloth, arrange a corner to look clean.

Grin. “Hmm.” I (chǎn) nod lazily, patting my (chǎn) face lightly to regain focus, before...

“Hello, Khráp. Hello, hello. Testing, testing. Chôoe-Tǎem is here, Khráaaab!”

As soon as the program starts and the image appears on the screen, I (chǎn) open my (chǎn) mouth to greet with a cheerful voice immediately. At first, only a few people come in, but after Âi'Ker takes my (chǎn) phone to Line the group saying we're on now, the regulars start trickling in. Greetings start popping up rapidly until I (chǎn) can hardly read them all.

MeowMeow: Screeeeeeam! My good person is here!

JaeThenSuck: Senior thought my eyes were blurry. Thǎemmmmm, where have you (thooe) been? This old person missed you (thooe) so much I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep! Elder Phîi Meow sends me (chǎn) rose images repeatedly, but this Jom person sends ten diamonds in one go, so fast my (chǎn) eyes go wide.

“Hello, Khráp, Elder Phîis. Thank you, Elder Phîi Meow and Jom, Khráp. Oh, missing Thǎem like this, Thǎem is so happy. I thought if I disappeared for a long time, no one would watch.” I (chǎn) start to smile widely for real, without having to force it, because it's not just the seniors sending encouragement. Many juniors are also asking in a clamor where I (chǎn) have been. The view count is also jumping up at an impressive rate.

In my (chǎn) heart, it's not just about the money. Knowing that someone cares about you... that is happiness.

Working in this field, you're afraid that one day no one will watch or listen. When you know they are waiting, know they miss you, I (chǎn) think anyone would smile widely.

“Where has Thǎem been? Thǎem had a little issue and had to move rooms, Khráp. Right now I am staying with him.” I (chǎn) gesture towards the changed backdrop, until many people start to notice and ask. But I (chǎn) won't say why I (chǎn) moved dorms. I (chǎn) can tell everyone the dorm caught fire, and I (chǎn) believe there are many seniors and juniors ready to help by sending money through IG diamonds. It's just that... sometimes, I (chǎn) don't want to tell my (chǎn) pitiful story.

I (chǎn) give full service, but I (chǎn) don't want to use pity to solicit. I (chǎn) think it looks pathetic.

“As for today, I have been gone a long time, so I think everyone misses this person too... ” I (chǎn) turn to look to the side. The others can't see who it is, but the comments below start popping rapidly, and even guess the right person.

“Hello, Khráp. Do you (thooe) miss me?” Âi'Ker sticks his face into the camera, both hands hugging my (chǎn) neck from behind. Of course, from the comments saying it was fast before, now it's even faster than before.

... I knew it! It really is Elder Phîi Ker... Screammmming! Elder Phîi Thǎem moved in with Elder Phîi Ker, my (dìchǎn) dear! ... Want a housewarming gift? Send the address. Elder Phîi is ready to send! ... Ohhh, so you really moved in and are living together? Various comments. I (chǎn) just keep smiling, letting Âi'Ker talk on, because I (chǎn) notice... Whosomeone has arrived.

“Hello, Khráp, Elder Phîi Hu.” I (chǎn) smile widely to greet him. But...

Whump.

“Oho, Thǎem is so heartless. Seeing Elder Phîi Hu come and then paying no attention to me.” This guy really puts on a show, because Âi'Ker grabs the tip of my (chǎn) chin and tilts it up to meet his eyes. Right now my (chǎn) mouth is smiling, but I (chǎn) glare at him not to play too much, or else we'll get scolded for playing up the BL pairing too much. As for him, he laughs with a clear voice.

This time, Elder Phîi Hu doesn't greet back. He already told me (chǎn) before that sometimes he listens while working, and sometimes may not respond.

“Don't pay attention to Ker, Ná, everyone.” I (chǎn) bow my (chǎn) head to give a shy smile to the camera, then turn to look at my (chǎn) junior Rahad who is hugging his guitar, eyes wide. It seems like he is starting to understand what my (chǎn) and Âi'Ker's deal is. But I (chǎn) just turn back to tell the camera that...

“Today, I have a gift for everyone, Khráp. First of all, what song do you (thooe) all want to hear?”

Many people ask curiously, but many also request songs they want to hear. I (chǎn) can sing every song, but if I (chǎn) have to choose myself, I (chǎn) can't decide.

“What song should we do, Nǎa?” I (chǎn) turn to meet my (chǎn) friend's eyes. He, in turn, looks at the guitarist again, while logging into the application with his name and sending the comments for Têl to see.

“Today, we won't choose the song ourselves, Khráp. Let our special guest choose. Later, if I pick a song I can't play, I bragged a lot and could lose face.” Ker says laughingly, in a way that makes Têl bare his teeth at him, making a sound into the screen.

“Can play them all, Elder Phîi Ker.”

Now people are starting to ask whose voice that is, but I (chǎn) don't answer.

“I want this song.” Têl taps on one song and hands it for Âi'Ker to look at. Then he points for me (chǎn) to see too, until I (chǎn) nod in acceptance twice. After that, I (chǎn) turn to smile at the camera.

“This song is for everyone, Khráp. In place of an apology for disappearing for so long... Even if tonight there are a million stars, none are as beautiful as every user of Thǎem, Khráp."

Lít-Têl strums his fingers down the guitar strings, letting the beautiful sound of the music come out from the beloved instrument (of his older brother). Meanwhile, I (chǎn) close my (chǎn) eyes slightly, before letting my (chǎn) singing voice flow.

“Tonight there are a million stars, but my (chǎn) heart has only you (thooe)... ” I (chǎn) don't know why Têl chose this song. Maybe he just wanted to play it. But I (chǎn) want to sing it too, while Âi'Ker provides backing vocals.

“... Intertwined, gazing at each other side by side, I (chǎn) want to request a kiss under the shadow of the moon.”

The song 'Dao' by Paradox echoes throughout the large bedroom. I (chǎn) myself close my (chǎn) eyes, listen to the musical rhythm, and sing on. Otherwise, if I (chǎn) open my (chǎn) eyes and see the comments, I (chǎn) will want to answer them. So, if I (chǎn) am going to sing, I (chǎn) must do my (chǎn) best, make the listeners feel it's worth it to choose to watch me (chǎn).

“If tonight there are only the two of us, I (chǎn) want to request to stay until the starlight fades, collect the great feeling, no light is as beautiful as your (thooe) heart.” I (chǎn) am singing back to the first verse again, while in my (chǎn) head I (chǎn) am seeing an image of someone who looks at my (chǎn) face calmly, not smiling for me (chǎn). And then my (chǎn) voice starts to tremble and choke.

Maybe closing my (chǎn) eyes wasn't a good idea.

“Tonight there are a million stars, but my (chǎn) heart has only you (thooe). Intertwined, gazing at each other, side by side, I (chǎn) want to request a kiss under the shadow of the moon... ”

Smooch!

Hey!!!

At first, I (chǎn) see your Khun Khǎi's image in my (chǎn) head. But as soon as something warm touches my (chǎn) cheek, that's it. I (chǎn) open my (chǎn) eyes wide, and then see Âi'Ker's face holding my (chǎn) face tilted, cheek to cheek. And excuse me, Khráp. In our angle, I (chǎn) know that the warm thing mentioned is the palm of my (chǎn) close friend covering my (chǎn) cheek. But for the people on the screen, they probably see that he kissed my (chǎn) cheek with a big smooch, Looei. And... you (mueng) made it so loud, Ná.

“How is it, Khráp? This surprise? Not just Thǎem, even the guitarist is frozen.”

Âi'Ker says this as if having fun. But I (chǎn) can only feel resigned. I (chǎn) don't know if when he does this, pinching my (chǎn) side, because he wants a certain someone to see the image of him playing with me (chǎn) or not.

No, that person of Âi'Ker's probably wouldn't come watch me (chǎn) host the show. But also...

Not sure.

So I (chǎn) give him a big pinch, thinking later I (chǎn) will have to explain to Âi'Têl again. But at least, I (chǎn) think my (chǎn) return to hosting is getting good buzz. It seems, I (chǎn) must hurry and get equipment to host by myself. Relying on Âi'Ker every time probably won't do. Until I (chǎn) think of a certain someone who is in the study.

Should I (chǎn) borrow his equipment to use first, Mǎi?

As soon as I (chǎn) think that, my (chǎn) lips press tightly together.

He could pay five thousand for Japanese food for Têl. Me (chǎn) just borrowing his computer to use...

And what the hell are my (chǎn) eyes getting hot for!