MA Chapter 12: A Heart That Wavers

Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
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Perspective Chôoe-Tǎem

“I am really doing fine, Mâe. You don't have to come. Please take care of Thîi-rák, Ná.”

[But Mâe is worried. Thîi-rák's condition has improved anyway. After I finish at the hospital, let Mâe stop by, Ná.]

“It’s really fine. I am still strong and well in every way. It's Thîi-rák, Thòe. She just got sick with a high fever like this, Nǎa. Please take care of Thîi-rák. She is still young, Khráp. I am grown up now. I am the older one. I can take care of myself.”

On the first holiday since I started living in this condominium unit, Mâe called me early in the morning, saying she wanted to stop by, but it might be a bit late because my younger sister is at the hospital. And that is how I found out that yesterday, while I was busy running around with my own affairs, my infant sister ran a high fever, to the point that I had to tell Mâe it was fine.

[Mâe is sorry, Nông Thǎem. At a time like this, Mâe should be by your side.]

“Khráp. I know. Please take care of Thîi-rák, Ná.”

Hearing Mâe's voice almost makes me cry stubbornly, because the fire at the dormitory only happened a few days ago. I myself want to nestle into Mâe's chest and whine like when I was a child.

But because I know Mâe also has to take care of my younger sister, not to mention work, not to mention other household matters, I try to act strong and say I can handle it. But hearing the tone of concern... I want to become a youth again right now.

Therefore, I insist that I am okay. I listen to Mâe's voice, which is quite hesitant, but Thîi-rák's condition must truly not be good. Otherwise, Mâe would have rushed to see me at the first opportunity. In the end, she reluctantly hangs up.

“Huh.” I still stare at the phone gripped tightly in my hand.

Is Thîi-rák so unwilling to let Mâe come see Phîi Thǎem that she has to get sick right now... How can you (mueng) think like that, Âi'Thǎem!?

Suddenly, a negative thought flashes into my heart. I cannot help but feel that my younger sister is saying Mâe belongs to her. That's why Thîi-rák gets sick at a time like this. That makes my heart feel even worse. I want to punch myself for thinking this way about my younger sister. But I really cannot help it... this feeling of loneliness.

“Whatever, whatever, whatever, Âi'Thǎem. I (kuu) have a duty to find breakfast for you, Khun Khǎi.” I shake my head forcefully and turn to look at the tightly closed workroom door. As for why I know he went to bury himself in that room, it's because the bedroom he moved his things into is wide open.

Not only is the door wide open... the inside is a complete mess.

“I (kuu) really, truly wonder how he has lived alone for so many years.” I mutter because the room that looked fine yesterday now has clothes scattered about, bedding slipping into a pile on the floor. Just as I said, the owner of this room does not look as orderly as the outfits he usually wears.

“Fine. I (kuu) will consider it as having something to do. I (kuu) will make this salary worth it.” After that, I prepare to go into the kitchen to see what is in the refrigerator for me to show off my skills a bit.

Ding-dong

“Hmm.” I glance back at the front door, then turn to look at the workroom door again, but my feet walk towards the source of the sound. I peer through the peephole, wondering who it is, and then see a man in the condominium staff uniform, causing my brow to furrow sharply.

Should I open it or go get the room owner?

Ding-dong

Before I can decide, the bell rings again, making me relent and open the door.

“Hello, Khráp. I am a condominium staff member. I have a delivery for Khun Khǒng-khǎit.” I nod in confusion because I just learned Mâe's relative's real name. The delivery staff gives a wide smile, then turns to lift up the item placed by his feet. I only then notice the large box that looks seriously heavy.

“Uh, what is this?”

“An air fryer, Khráp. Where should I place it?” This time, I stand even more stunned, staring fixedly at the huge box, but I reluctantly reach out to receive the item the other party hands over, unable to think of anything. I can only gauge the weight in my hands and find it seriously heavy.

What the hell is this!

I give a stiff smile, watch the delivery staff leave, then turn and carry the square box into the room, using my leg to close the door. After that, I place the appliance on the kitchen counter and stand with my arms crossed, looking at it.

“What did he order? He said he cannot cook.” I shake my head, not daring to open it, until I decide to open the refrigerator. Seeing it for the first time, I still have not forgotten—I learned when I came to live in this house—that touch-screen refrigerators really exist. Adjusting the temperature, making ice, making cold water, and many other things can be done by pressing the panel on the front of the refrigerator, as if the homeowner is a famous chef who must preserve food at the correct temperature. But sorry, I cannot even cook my own rice.

Besides that, the entire refrigerator only has... frozen food.

“Well, at least there are eggs.” I take out two eggs because asking to fry an omelet each to put on top of frozen fried rice is still better than nothing.

Ding-dong

“Khráp.” This time I call out in response, quickly put down what I am holding, and walk back to the front door. I peer through the peephole again and find it is the same staff member.

“Did you forget something, Khráp?” I open the door to ask him, thinking he forgot to check something or have me sign something. But instead...

“Sorry, Khráp. I did not deliver all the items, Ná Khráp. I missed that there is also an ice cream maker and a fruit juicer.” The speaker turns to look at two more boxes placed on the floor, while I am wide-eyed, not sure if my ears are playing tricks on me.

“Wait a minute, Khráp. Are you sure you came to deliver to the correct room?” I say, of course. The staff member glances at the floor, glances at the room, looks down at the paper, then nods in confirmation, presenting the delivery evidence almost poking into my eyes.

“Khráp. Khun Khǒng-khǎit is the one who ordered it, along with using the express delivery service that just arrived downstairs a moment ago.” The staff member recites the complete purchase details and quantity, leaving me just standing there dumbfounded. But I agree to sign for the two additional items that are already paid for. And while I am trying to lift those two boxes into the room, with the kind staff member helping...

“Excuse me, Khráp. There are additional items for the room... ”

Bang

“Don't tell me there is more kitchenware delivered to you, Khun Khǒng-khǎit!”

I turn towards the voice calling out, accidentally speaking loudly, looking at the person who addressed me, who is clearly startled. But I do not care. I look down at the set first and find... another condominium staff member!

“Uh, Khráp... It's a steam cooker.”

“WHAT!!!"

I bloody fucking do not care anymore if the two staff members are looking at me like a bizarre person, wondering if I ordered it myself and then forgot, because right now my body is shaking violently... shaking along with the vibration of money flying out of the wallet of Khun Khǎi.

Not to mention...

“Uh, there is also a set of frying pans that I haven't brought up yet... another set.”

"ARGHHH, ÂI'SPENDTHRIFT!!!"

I am stunned. I receive the documents to sign for confirmation of receiving the items rapidly, and my demeanor probably scares the staff member quite a bit because he helps carry the boxes inside and then quickly leaves. Because, well, I may have an attractive face, but when it comes to saving... I spare no one!!!

Bam Bam Bam!

After the staff members leave, I go and pound on the door bam bam bam fearlessly in front of the workroom, looking at Âi' room owner who opens the door with a calm expression. He even has the nerve to raise an eyebrow at me as if asking what he did wrong, making me count from one to ten in my heart—no, calculate until my head spins about how much money all those appliances add up to.

“Is something... "

“You ordered so many things!” I retort first.

“Oh, they brought them up already? That was fast.”

“Fast your house!!!”

I forget fear and shyness for now because I stare at the face of Âi'Khun Khǎi, looking at the person who told me to teach him about using money. Then look at the money usage of this Âi' guy. Is this called a deeply ingrained habit that cannot be dug out? He disappeared into the room for just one night, how much did he spend!

“Is that so?”

“Why did you order them? That frying thing, juicer, steaming thing. You cannot cook!”

“I cannot.”

THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU ORDER THEM!!!!

If I could make a fierce face at him, I would have done it already. But Âi'Khun Khǎi just makes a face like...

What did I do wrong?

“Then you return them. Return whichever ones can be returned.”

"No return.”

“Are you crazy!” I am shaking like a leaf, wanting to exchange the goods for a refund so badly my heart almost breaks. But the payer does not cooperate at all, even stating flatly.

“I (chǎn) bought them for you (thooe).”

"I don't wa... ” I don't want them, nooo!!

“I (chǎn) saw in the advertisement that the air fryer makes food have fewer calories. As for the juicer, in case you (thooe) want to drink fresh fruit juice. My friend told me the fruit juice sold in shops often has preservatives and is not as beneficial as freshly squeezed. And the ice cream maker, I (chǎn) saw my friend said this one is good, suitable for making at home. If you (thooe) want to eat it, making it yourself is more beneficial. Even though you (thooe) are still young, taking care of your health should be done early. As for the steamer... ”

“Wait, wait, wait, Khun Khǎi!”

I should be happy, right, that he is speaking the most since we have been living together? But I quickly stop him first and ask in disbelief at what I heard.

“Are you saying all of that... is for me?” And the answer from the stone-faced man is just one word.

“Mhmm.”

From intending to rage at him, when he nods and answers with just one word, my heart instead... swells.

No, no, no, no! Crazy, Âi'Thǎem, you are crazy. Why swell? That's all money!

“Or do you (thooe) not like the model I (chǎn) bought?”

“No! No, no, no! It has nothing to do with the model. Not at all. No, Khun Khǎi.” When I fall silent, he interprets it another way, making me cry out in a panic, eyes wide open. I am starting to really be afraid of this man, that he will order the same things but change the brand and have them delivered to the room again, until I have to quickly shake my head swiftly to confirm what is in my heart.

“I don't dislike the model. Please don't buy more.” I quickly tell him, and am about to reach out and grab his arm. And Khun Khǎi interprets it yet another way.

“Don't worry. I (chǎn) did not hit your head with money. I (chǎn) bought them under my name. You (thooe) just use them as you see fit.”

I feel a little relieved. Just a little, really, because it is true of him. He bought them under his name. I should be happy that there are so many convenient appliances. What can I make?

“Mhmm. But can you promise not to order anything more?” I blink rapidly, quickly asking for a promise, and I don't know if I am imagining it or not that he... averts his eyes.

“Mhmm. From now on.”

“Khráp. From now on.” Why do I feel something is off? But I nod twice, only now realizing I am standing too close to him, until I take two steps back.

“Then you... please work. I will go cook.”

“Mhmm. I (chǎn) don't want breakfast. I (chǎn) am working.” I am also curious what work he does, but I do not ask. I watch the person who disappears into the room more quickly than ever, avoiding my eyes in an indescribable way. Even though he likes to look into my eyes, this time he looks fidgety for some reason. I conclude to myself that he probably worked all night. So I walk back into the kitchen, at the moment when...

Ding-dong

Bang

This time I do not bother looking through the peephole. I open the door with a bang and then see...

The same condominium staff member!!!

At that moment, Mâe's good boy Nông Thǎem can only roar...

“YOU ÂI'KHUN KHǍI!!!!!!!!!!"

I (kuu) know now why he averted his eyes, said he didn't want breakfast, and even fled into the room. Damn! Does this man have any common sense about money?!!!!

“Again? Hahahaha... You (mueng) tell it again... he bought... hahaha... no, no, he paid all the way with what... GAHAHA Ouch, my stomach hurts, my stomach hurts. It's killing me, Âi'Thǎem. I (kuu) am dying.”

"Do you (mueng) want to die by my foot!?”

I used to think the two days of Saturday and Sunday having to be with Khun Khǎi would be an awkward matter. But it turns out, ever since I roared, shaking the room, calling for Âi'Khun Khǎi, he has refused to show his head out of the workroom. I cannot help but think he must have stashed food in there. Plus, I still have work at... The clothing shop had to quickly open for business, so I informed the manager that I could only work one day a week, which luckily he sympathized with. Starting next week, I will work only on Saturdays.

As for now, it is Monday. And don't ask if I have seen the face of that wasteful person... I haven't even seen the shirt on his back, let alone his face. So I have to vent my heart to my close friend, who is listening while holding his stomach from laughing so hard he is dying.

“I (kuu) am really laughing, Âi'Thǎem. You (mueng) think about it. Before, he transferred millions. Later, he bought a Mini car for you. And now, heh, oof, hahaha... pays for kitchen appliances all the way. Ouch, how does he think of it, your Khun Khǎi?” Âi'Ker still laughs nonstop. He seems extremely pleased to see Khun Khǎi buying so many things for me, because don't think it ended with just the set of frying pans. This morning before coming to the university, a set of Japanese-style clay pots was also delivered.

“I (kuu) am not laughing. How much money? It's a waste.”

“Waste of what? It's his money, not your money. You are acting like it's your Phûa's wallet.”

“... ”

I should argue with Âi'Ker, right, that I am not his Mia? But why I fall silent, I don't know. I don't understand myself either, why I have to get so hot and bothered just because he buys extravagant things. And it seems my close friend notices too, because he falls silent, leans his face in, eyes a bit bigger than before.

“Don't tell me you (mueng)... are 'finished' already.”

Slap

“Ouch, that hurts, Thǎem.” As soon as he finishes speaking, I push his face away immediately. But I can swear that I am not flustered. I just used a bit too much force. The sound of my palm hitting his face is so loud it's obvious it must hurt, making even me startle and recoil, quickly pulling my hand away from my friend's face.

“Âi'Ker... does it hurt?” I quickly pull my friend's hand, which he raises to cover his face, to see if he got hit in the eye or not.

“It hurts. You hit me with full force. Aren't you afraid I (kuu) will lose my handsomeness?” He still rubs his face. I try to pull his hand away. Judging from his tone, I know he does not hold a grudge, but the fact that he does not tease me or pretend to moan indicates that it really hurts him as well, until I have to try to ask to see the wound.

“Let me (kuu) see.” I lean in, almost pressing against his face, while Âi'Ker obediently removes his hand.

Whoa. It's bright red.

“Does it hurt a lot?” I lightly touch his cheek, afraid of causing a shock, and lean my face towards him again.

“You (mueng) look and see if my nail scratched under my eye.” When he asks, I lean in closer, close enough to feel the warm breath of Âi'Ker hitting my cheek.

“Tilt your face up a bit more.”

Swoosh

“Hey! Phîi Thǎem and Phîi Ker are kissing!!!!"

Gasp!

I startle with a gasp, not because my friend's nose touched my cheek when he tilted up, but because of the voice of someone cutting through the air, reminding me of... what condition I and he are in.

Right now, our faces are only a little apart. Âi'Ker's nose is only a little away from my cheek. My hand is holding his cheek, and I even brushed some hair away so it wouldn't cover his face or eyes. And from this angle, even I, who know I am not kissing him, cannot help but think... Bloody fuck, it's over!

“Ouch, Âi'Tâe, why are you so loud? I (kuu) was getting excited!!!"

“Ouch, it hurts, don't hit me! I (kuu) was just startled. I (kuu) was walking down from the building and saw my senior Rahad and my senior Tek kissing!” I quickly break away from my close friend, turn to look towards the voice, and find that Âi'person-who-called-out is being hit on the back by a female classmate. And looking up makes me realize... we have become the target of stares.

The first-year youths, practically the entire class year, are staring at us with their mouths agape, looking completely stunned.

“Ahem. I (kuu) think I (kuu) am not hurt anymore. I (kuu) am starting to feel embarrassed.”

“Yeah! You (mueng) should be embarrassed! Because I (kuu)... am extremely embarrassed.” I raise my hands to cover my face, fleeing from the gazes of the juniors, contrary to the guy who says he is embarrassed, because he is showering a benevolent, kind senior smile on the other juniors. And believe me, after this, there will definitely be rumors far and wide that he and I are romantic partners.

Huh. Let-me-die. The service behind the camera bloody fucking isn't worth anything, and I still have to become gossip fodder.

If all the juniors observed a bit more, they would know I don't feel anything for him. Even though we almost kissed.

I secretly sigh, not listening to my friend who is explaining to the juniors, and the junior Rahad who is being hit by his fujoshi friend for disrupting the moment and not checking the time, because right then my phone rings. When I take it out, I see someone I haven't talked to in several days, even though before we talked almost every night.

Whosomeone: Khun Chàem. Hello. Where did you disappear to?

Once again, I jump up immediately. The smile that seemed to disappear for many days returns wider.

je t'aime: Phîi Hǔu, I miss youuuuuuuuuu

I draw out the sound, along with three more stickers that make him send a laughing sticker back.

Whosomeone: You are not hosting the program anymore?

je t'aime: There's a little something, Phîi Hǔu.

Whosomeone: Something?

I go quiet for a moment, not sure if I should tell him or not, and then decide.

je t'aime: It's nothing now, Phîi Hǔu. Thank you for your concern.

Whosomeone: Oh, so it's me who is concerned about you Khun Chàem? I am just afraid the world has one less handsome person than me disappearing, that's all.

I pout my lips hard, as much as I burst out laughing.

je t'aime: Egotistical!

Whosomeone: He calls it having something to be egotistical about.

Raises eyebrow

Whosomeone: So, are you really not hosting anymore?

When he circles back to the original topic, I heave a big sigh because the important treasure, the notebook, has melted away in the middle of the fire. As for using the phone to livestream, it's not possible. Nowadays, just opening the internet to search for something makes it lag and lag again. I am not using a machine worth tens of thousands. Just a few thousand, able to call, play net, chat on Line or upload on Facebook is already a great mercy.

Suddenly, I think of someone... someone who tried to force items priced at nearly a hundred thousand on me.

Should I (kuu) borrow your Khun Khǎi's MacBook to use?

Suddenly, I shake my head hard and just tell him...

je t'aime: I'll borrow a friend's machine to host. I'll tell you in the group again which day. I think I'll borrow Âi'Ker's machine instead. I don't dare bother you, Khun Khǎi more than this. Line!

Suddenly I startle because I let the screen go dark until the device sounds an alarm. Looking down at it again, I find a long sentence from Phîi Hǔu.

Whosomeone: I don't know what happened, but Khun Chàem, don't think-deeply. Some matters happen, and then I don't want you, Khun Chàem, to pay attention to them. Khun Chàem likes to act like an adult, but sometimes, I want you to act your age a bit... I'm concerned, Khráp, little-one.

I lower my head, hiding my hot face and a heart that... beats hard.

Phîi Hǔu really makes Thǎem feel good every time. Just like if Khun Khǎi would say something like this...

I quickly shake my head, brushing this thought away.

Today I have been thinking about him too much already.

It is very late when I return to the room, both hands clumsy with bags full of groceries

because I stopped by Lotus before coming in. Luckily, I had Âi'Ker drive me there, push the cart around, and even drop me off at the condominium downstairs (really not wanting the fujoshi girls at the university to know). So I got fresh produce to put in the refrigerator.

Oh, even though Khun Khǎi has been avoiding my face because of those extremely wasteful items, he did as I told him. He placed a trendy-looking jar in the kitchen and put another three thousand in it. So I took the opportunity to buy things for the room. But seeing so many things, I only spent a thousand myself and am confident these things are enough for two young men to live on for a week.

Who would live wastefully, eat wastefully like that stone-faced person?

Muttering in my heart, I walk into the room, but have to stop.

Rustle rustle rustle

Several bags rustle against each other as I take a long stride to stop at the sofa, where there is... a young man sleeping.

I put the things down carefully, in order to bend down and look at the person I once accused of being a bank robber. But now, if I put aside my prejudice, I have to admit that Mâe's relative is very handsome... handsome in a way that is memorable after seeing him once.

Khun Khǎi has sharp, strong features. I think he does not look Thai; he leans more towards a Hong Kong movie hero. Maybe because of the upward-slanting outer corners of his eyes, the extremely dark eyebrows, not to mention his pleasing face shape. He is not like the handsome, fair-skinned young men you can find around Siam. His face has character. His physique is the same.

Don't think about it, Thǎem.

I shake my head hard when the image of his bare body flashes into my head, whether it's his broad shoulders, firm, tight chest, strong back, and don't even mention the lower part, because just this makes my face burn hot. I can only squat down, both hands hugging my knees, pressing my burning face against my forearms.

Even though I tried not to remember, I still ended up thinking about it.

“No, Thǎem. Forget it.” I reiterate, take a deep breath, and then look up at the sleeping person again. I suspect he must be very tired because I have been inside for a while and he still hasn't woken up. Which is good. I will have more time to observe my roommate a bit more.

A person who is sound asleep like this makes me feel at ease.

“If you would show some emotion... Thǎem would understand you more.” I whisper, and I don't know what inspires me to reach my hand out. Maybe because of his relaxed expression, unlike when he is awake.

Tap

The tip of my finger touches his cheek lightly, and then I startle myself, quickly pulling my hand back in surprise, feeling the warmth from my fingertip spreading into my own cheek. I quickly look to make sure he is still not awake, and the relaxed expression that makes him look pleasing causes me to accidentally hold my breath.

Again. I touch his cheek again, stroking along his cheek.

Your Khun Khǎi's cheek... is so warm.

“What are you doing, crazy, Thǎem?” For another time, I quickly pull my hand back, stand up rapidly, wave my hand to brush away the crazy thought that he is handsome, that his cheek is soft and warm, because it has nothing to do with me. I try not to pay attention to the sound of my heart beating hard, feeling hot for some reason, until I take long strides to find the air conditioner remote, only to find...

"23 degrees. Crazy. Why am I (kuu) hot?” I stare hard at the remote, realizing the one who feels hot is not you, Khun Khǎi, but me myself.

I feel strangely hot since looking at his face. When I touched him, I felt even hotter.

“If it's like this, you should be cold, Âi'Thǎem.” After telling myself the temperature in the room is so cold I want to snuggle under a blanket, I accidentally turn to look at the room owner again and can only sigh because I walk to get the small blanket I glimpsed while cleaning the room. I tell myself not to worry, it's just... I don't want him to get sick.

I am really not worried about him.

I should quickly get the blanket and then quickly make dinner. Don't let him say I am not worth the salary.

I have the blanket now. Both legs carry my body back to the sofa again. I do not think of waking him up to make things awkward. Let's just say I will make dinner and then leave a note for him.

Swoosh

“Whoa!!!"

I was only focusing on the blanket. I didn't pay attention to where I placed the bags I bought beside the sofa. And when I realize... I have tripped already!!!

Damn it!

Right now, one of my legs is caught in the mouth of a plastic bag, while my upper body lunges towards the person lying there, until both hands accidentally let go of the blanket to use them to brace against the sofa by instinct for survival, even though my heart is loudly roaring that it's over!!!

Thump

I hold my breath until my body is stiff because my face and his... are only a little apart.

No, it's not like I lunged into his embrace like a young girl in a cartoon. I still managed to grab the sofa in time with both hands. One hand grabs the backrest, the other braces beside his head. At that second, I can only pray in my heart, don't wake up, hey, please don't, until I dare not even breathe.

“Huh!” But even if I hold my breath, it doesn't mean he will hold his too, because his warm breath is hitting my cheek, which is only a little away, making me unable to do anything, my brain unable to think of anything. I can only swallow hard again, trying to pull my leg, which is caught in the plastic bag, with the softest sound. When I try to use both hands to push myself up, they just have no strength at all.

Puff

Another time, warm breath hits my cheek until I... squeeze my eyes shut.

I will blame the fact that my heart is beating so hard, the sound thump thump thump in my head, is because I am afraid he will wake up, not because of anything else!!

Creak

Don't let go, Âi'Thǎem. Don't!

My hands are not going to last because they are supporting the weight of my entire body. My legs are tangled up. And if I let go... I will definitely land on his mouth.

Right now, my heart is beating hard. My sweat is soaking through my entire back. And importantly... I am very hot.

My face is hot. My neck is hot. My body is hot. Even my head is so hot it's like smoke will rise out. I don't understand why I can be this hot, this excited. I only know I must quickly get up before my body shows symptoms I have never known. However...

Thump

“Hey!” I almost fail to cover my mouth in time when I let out an exclamation because... Khun Khǎi is raising both arms to hug me!

“Mmmmm.”

Thump

I don't know if it's because he is cold or not, because he just groans in his throat. Both of his hands hug me, with only the small blanket between us, and he exerts force to pull, making both hands that were bracing go weak. My upper body falls down according to gravity, easily entering his embrace. After that... Khun Khǎi tightens his hold on me.

An action that happens in a split second, but causes the person receiving it... to almost have a heart attack.

"Let go." I whisper, trying to push him away because it is bizarre already. I myself am becoming bizarre.

Thump thump thump thump thump thump thump!!!

What the!!! Why don't I hear anything? Why is my heart beating so hard I cannot hear?

Even though I try to push, he hugs me tighter, until my face nestles into the blanket between us. But luckily, when I turn my body, my leg finally slips out of the bag mouth. I am starting to be unsure whether to call it lucky or unlucky. I only feel that I cannot take it anymore. I really cannot take it anymore.

“Hmm. What.” I don't know if I pushed too hard. You Khun Khǎi... moves.

I don't know anymore if he is awake or not. I don't know anything. I just lie still, gripping the blanket tightly, eyes wide open, even when he props himself up to peer down at me, with his voice sounding above my head.

“Chôoe-Thǎem. How did you (thooe) get here?”

All I can do is look up at him with teary eyes and say softly.

“Because of you, that's why.”

Because of you, who makes me become like this!

Today I have learned how friendship and the feeling of being interested in someone are different... it's just like when I am with Âi'Ker compared to with Khun Khǎi!!!

The crazy young man who makes the heart... beat hard.