Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
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On the airplane that was moving away from the terminal gate, in the first-class cabin, a young man was tightly embracing the body of another youth. His body was covered in sweat from his desperate run to catch the flight. His sharp-featured face was buried in the dark hair, while he spoke in a pleading tone that made the listener's eyes widen.
"Do not run away from me, Graphic. Please do not do this."
"I..."
The youth was speechless. The truth he had just learned from Phîi Win, combined with Phîi Pakin's actions now, left him stunned and motionless. His mind was completely blank, as if he were in a state of extreme confusion.
Then, the more selfish of the two pulled back slightly to meet his gaze.
"Haven't I told you yet that I love you?"
Graphic could only shake his head, tears in his eyes, looking into the pair of sharp eyes that reflected only his image. The person was pouring his heart out as if he would never get to say it again.
"You might not believe me after everything I have done, but I love you. The second I saw you in that car, my heart felt like it stopped. I was ready to trade anything for your safe return. Do you know how I felt when you told me you would not be a nuisance in my life?... I wanted to go kill the man who once shouted in your face that you were a nuisance in his life. No, Graphic. You are not. You are not an annoying youth. You are not a stubborn youth. You are not a youth I want to throw far from my sight. But you are the only youth who has stolen my heart..."
This was the first time the youth had seen tears in this man's eyes. The man still had not released his hold, as if afraid that if he let go, he would never get to touch him again for the rest of his life.
"I do not know, Graphic, when it started. It might have been the second we met years ago, or when you moved into my house. But you became more and more important to me, to the point where I will not allow myself to lose you again. If that car had exploded, I would never have forgiven myself. I would never absolve myself for letting you sleep alone in that room... All the vast amounts of money I have acquired mean nothing if you are not by my side."
Ahem.
A tear fell from the eyes of the ruthless, powerful man. It dropped onto the youth's cheek, accompanied by a trembling hand that moved to gently and tenderly hold the pale hand.
"Let us go home, please. Come back with me. Let us go find Âi Ruthless. Let us go find Aunt Kaew. Let us go find Win. Let us go back to how we were, please."
"Phîi, I... I do not know... I..." Graphic could not get the words out. He could only shake his head, tears flowing. He no longer knew what was true and what was a lie. He only knew that this person was crying for him, pleading with him, begging him.
"I do not know, Graphic, how I should act. In my entire life, I have never loved anyone. Not a single person. Now that I love you, I do not even know how to preserve this love. I must be like you, a lonely youth who does not even know how to act spoiled with others. I have made many mistakes. But I want to ask for a chance. Just one more chance, and I will never make a mistake again."
Whoosh.
Then, Pakin dropped to his knees, making the onlooker's body tremble even more. It was hard to believe a person like this would kneel for him.
"I love you. Give me another chance... Please."
The youth's body trembled violently as he looked at the person who had abandoned everything for him, in front of the many pairs of eyes in the first-class cabin, unafraid of anyone saying that Khun Pakin was spineless, that he could not even handle one youth. No... This was not the powerful Khun Pakin, but just an ordinary man pleading for love.
An ordinary man who made Graphic sob.
"Phîi... you were the one who stayed with me at the hospital... right?..."
"Yes, I was there."
"Phîi was the one... who told me... not to die... right?..."
"Yes."
"Phîi begged me not to leave you... right?"
"Yes, I begged you."
"Phîi was the one calling for me to come back. Do you know I heard every word? I knew everything you said. And how sad I was not to see you at the hospital again. I thought it was a stupid dream where I just hoped to see you. I thought it was a hallucination where I was just fooling myself... Do not do that again... Do not make me cry... like that again..." Graphic sobbed with all his strength while looking at the man in front of him.
Didn't you say it was enough, Graphic? Weren't you determined not to go back to that pain again?
His slender body whispered to itself. He looked at the man he had loved his whole life, but this was not the same man.
If it were the old Phîi Pakin, he would never look at him with such an expression. So why was this person causing the wall he had built to avoid further pain to crumble?
It had completely collapsed. All his previous resolve, the thought of fleeing to the other side of the world, it all vanished the second this man ran after him onto the airplane.
Enough. I have had enough.
Thump.
The youth dropped down to hug the large frame tightly, then burst into loud sobs.
"Do not abandon me again... Do not leave me anywhere. Hic... I do not want it anymore... Do not leave me alone again... Do not..."
That was it. Enough of the fake strength that said he would run from this man. He could not do it anymore.
Graphic stopped lying to himself that he could stop his feelings for the man who had walked into his hospital room years ago. The only one who made his loneliness disappear. The only one who opened the door to find him. The only one who gave that little youth the will to live on... He could not stop loving Phîi Pakin.
"Phîi Pakin, Hic, I love you. I have loved you since I was a youth. I love only you..."
The person who heard these words of love hugged the youth's slender body tightly, whispering the same words as many months before.
"I know, good youth. I love you too."
But with one phrase added... I love you.
"Let us go back together."
"Uh-huh. Back... back... Let me go back. Let me go back... I do not want to go to England anymore. I do not want to go... anymore," the youth said between sobs, still holding onto the tall frame tightly, afraid of losing this embrace again.
Meanwhile, Pakin swore to himself that he would not let this youth disappear from his sight again. He had gotten his love back, and he would not allow himself to lose it again.
His Phô was right. If he kept being afraid and did not do anything, he would not have even a single minute. And now Pakin knew that a single minute made a huge difference. It was the difference between having this youth in his arms and not having him.
Once he held Graphic in his arms, one minute meant more than all the time that had passed in his entire life.
"I will take you home, Graphic."
"Uh-huh. Uh-huh, uh-huh!"
Pat.
Suddenly, the young man had to turn to look at the sensation of a hand placed on his shoulder, meeting the eyes of a middle-aged woman who was smiling at him. She spoke in a gentle voice.
"I permit you to take this troublemaker back home. But right now, the two of you need to take your seats and fasten your seatbelts. Do you understand?"
Pakin swept his gaze around the first-class cabin. Although there were only a few passengers, every pair of eyes was fixed on him. He could only stand up, with the other youth holding onto him tightly, unwilling to let go. He handed the boarding pass, which he had almost thrown away when rushing to find Graphic, to the air hostess. Then he bowed slightly to everyone.
"I apologize for delaying the flight. And thank you very much for waiting."
He did not know if it was because of what everyone had witnessed, but the response consisted only of smiles and words of "It is okay." Then, all eyes turned to the youth who was nestling his face against a broad chest, hugging the large man tightly with endearing affection. Meanwhile, the youth's Mâe stood up.
"Pakin, please go sit with Nong. I will move seats myself."
"I think..."
"Please. Pakin is more important to this youth than I am. Thank you for taking care of Nong these past ten years... I entrust him to you." Then, the Mia of the famous politician turned to speak with the air hostess, moving to sit in the seat purchased under Pakin's name, leaving her own seat to be taken by the other young man.
For the entire time the plane soared into the sky, heading towards the capital of the United Kingdom, their hands never let go of each other. Even when the captain came out to greet them, because he wanted to see the face of the man who had said... "I will accept anything, just wait ten more minutes for me."
A man who kept turning to look at the youth, who had fallen asleep from exhaustion, with a gaze that... was filled with love.
***
"Aren't you embarrassed? Can you even spell the word 'embarrassed'?"
"You have asked this several times now. And my answer is... no, I am not embarrassed."
"But I am embarrassed. When we were leaving, it was not so bad; my tears were blocking the view. But on the way back, it was so clear... Everyone was staring at me like I was a bizarre-person. They kept coming by to ask if I wanted this, if I wanted that, smiling the whole time too."
"They are fond of you."
Inside the powerful car speeding along the roads of Bangkok, the doll-like figure in the passenger seat kept raising his hands to cover his face, repeating the same topic over and over, from the flight from Heathrow Airport until arriving in Thailand. The person who kept his head bowed, chin to chest, not speaking to anyone, because he suddenly remembered that the air hostess uniform was the exact same one as on the outbound flight!
After Pakin had to follow along to England, at their destination, Phanupong was already waiting to pick them up. He had teased his son happily throughout the three days they spent living it up in London, making the young man desperately want to return to Thailand. But he was stuck because his birth Phô asked him who he had to thank for being able to have this day, so he reluctantly stayed. Furthermore, he spent time finalizing Graphic's withdrawal from the school that had just accepted him.
Finally, they had flown back to Thailand yesterday. They encountered the same cabin crew, along with the same captain who came out to greet them personally.
He did not know which big shot had whispered that the daring man who knelt to plead at the last second was an important person of the type that every famous person in Thailand would know. The service on the flight was elevated to another level. They kept coming by to ask questions, bringing snacks to serve, along with teasing looks that made Graphic want to hide under the seat.
He confirmed that on the way there, he was in a deeply emotional state, but on the way back, he was back to normal and thus in a state of... extreme embarrassment.
He was held tightly by Phîi Pakin, no different from a newborn baby monkey! He really hugged him tightly. Furthermore, he nuzzled his face against his shoulder the entire way from Thailand to England.
He still remembered the looks from the staff lined up saying, "Please love each other a lot," instead of saying, "Thank you for flying with us." He could only follow the pulling force of the large man, who he had to say clearly did not care about anything.
"Come on, you can stop being sulky now." Pakin also reached out to gently thump his head, making the recipient press his lips together.
"I am not sulking."
"Your mouth does not match your heart."
"Look at yourself first."
"Well, now I am being honest." Pakin said this nonchalantly, not caring if anyone called him selfish, or shameless and thick-skinned. Because once he had this precious thing in his hands, people could say whatever they wanted. But if anyone said anything about this that-brat, he was ready to point a gun at their head too.
Graphic made a face at the words, turning to look at the scenery he initially thought he would not see for years, but it turned out he was only gone for three days. His two hands held onto the window, mumbling softly.
"We are going home, right, Phîi?"
"Yes. Our home."
It was not the house where Graphic grew up, but the house where Graphic had lived happily for several months... It was that house. The youth could only turn to look at his face.
"Will anyone be angry with me?"
He had left everyone without saying goodbye. Both Aunt Kaew and Phîi Win, especially the latter, whom he had even hung up on. The person who placed a hand on his head stroked it comfortingly. His sharp-featured face turned to give him a smile.
"Believe me, no one could stay angry with you. If not, just act endearing with them like you do with me."
A childish, acting-endearing method that could not compete with their high flight hours, but it was so cute that Pakin refused to let him out of the bedroom until daybreak. He held him tightly, telling him through body language that he loved him, and whispering through words how much he loved him every night, with the clingy youth snuggling on his chest.
Anyone who said Graphic could not act spoiled would have to disagree now.
It had nearly killed him on the very first night in London.
"I do not act spoiled with Phîi at all," the youth argued, still unaware of how captivating his wide, blinking eyes were, combined with the look in his eyes that wanted to wheedle something, especially when his warm body pressed closer. The person who now knew he was in love almost lost his sanity.
His heart was gone. How could he not have realized it for so many years before? But it was good; otherwise, he might have pounced on the stubborn, acting-spoiled seven-year-old youth.
"Believe me, no one is angry with you. They are more likely overjoyed that you are back."
Then the young man spoke as if he had just remembered something.
"Your friend will probably be happy too."
"Did Phîi talk to Janjao too?" Graphic asked, unable to believe his ears, having seen how annoyed he seemed with his friend before. This made the listener laugh.
"I have not told you yet, have I?"
"Yeah, Phîi have not told me a lot of things."
Okay, Graphic might have known about someone staying at the hospital and the stupid idea of pushing him away for fear of another danger occurring. He had even been exposed by Uncle Pong, causing the other man to flee into a room. But he definitely did not know about the Janjao matter, as he had not had time to contact her yet.
"Do not be sulky. I am telling you now."
"I already said I am not sulky. So what happened?" Graphic dodged the large hand immediately, trying to ask in a strong voice, making the listener laugh, but he agreed to tell the story.
"Well, on the day I went after you, I ran into Janjao near the check-in counter. She was the one who told me which gate you had left from. And she shouted loud enough to echo through the airport that if I did not bring you back, she would hate me for the rest of her life... Which, let her hate. That-brat was not important to me anyway." The man of great power said this nonchalantly, making Graphic turn to look at him with an intense gaze.
"Do not call my friend 'that-brat.' And if you do not value my friend, then we do not need to talk... Janjao is my best friend. She is the most important to me. Remember that." He said this in a very firm voice, making the person driving the luxury car, which was nearing the house, slow down. Then he pulled over to the side of the road.
Whoosh.
A large hand reached over to Graphic's headrest, accompanied by intense, sharp eyes staring at him.
"Is this what you want?"
"Ah... Yeah!"
Even though he knew the other party loved him, it did not mean his fear had vanished. The more those calm, steady eyes stared at him, the more old memories came flooding back.
He probably will not kick me the fuck out of the car,right?
The thought of the person who closed his eyes tightly, as the large hand reached for him. Its target was the beautiful car door, causing fear to grip his heart. If it were not for...
Thump.
Those two hands instead embraced him tightly, followed by...
Sniff... Sniff... Sniff!!!
A prominent nose tip pressed down heavily on his cheek several times, extremely greedily, rubbing until his cheek felt bruised and making the youth cry out loudly.
"Let me go! Arghhh! Let me go! Ouch! It hurts!" He was pressing down at full force, of course it would bruise!
Amid the complaints, the large man held him tight, shaking his nose against his cheek for a minute before speaking in a resigned tone.
"I truly surrender to you... Fine, I will consider that-brat important. But stop hugging Janjao. It annoyed me before, but now it makes me so agitated I want to kill someone. Tone down the hugging and the snuggling." The young man had truly surrendered to these two youths who were overly close, making Graphic lift his head to meet his gaze.
"Are you jealous?"
Before, he would have laughed in his face. But now...
"Yeah!" The young man could only reply with that one word, making the listener's eyes go wide, repeating the question in disbelief.
"Phîi? Jealous of me! No way!" He seemed to forget that he had just confessed his love to him.
"Well, it happened. And I will say I am very jealous too."
"Not true. Someone like Phîi Pakin, being jealous?" The listener really wanted to lecture him that he was jealous, and very jealous at that, making him shoot a sharp, stern look. But it seemed now the youth was not afraid, only leaning in to ask, making him turn to shift gears, concentrating on driving more than answering the headache-inducing question.
"Since when were you jealous of me? Fucking when? How come I did not know?"
"I did not even know that was jealousy, so how could you know?" Back then, he did not even know it was possessiveness. Well, as he said, he had never loved anyone before. So when he fell for that-brat he used to find so annoying he wanted to throw him away, he just thought it was the usual annoyance. Who would have thought that was the signal that it was already dangerous?
Graphic grinned widely, completely forgetting his embarrassment on the airplane. He just kept asking when, where, and his voice gradually quieted as the super cool supercar passed through the gate into Khun Pakin's domain.
A domain where people were lined up waiting in front of the house, along with one dog.
Now the youth's courage shrank.
"No one is angry with you, come on. Get out."
The driver had come around to open the car door for him, leaning down to look into the eyes of the youth making a face like he was about to cry. He nodded to give reassurance, until Graphic slowly stepped out. He gradually lifted his head to look at everyone, then mumbled in a faint, wispy voice.
"I am back... Khrap."
"Woof! Woof! Woof! Hack! Hack! Hack!"
As soon as Graphic finished speaking, the dog rushed towards its owner, who had told it to wait for three whole days. Three days where it just stared towards the front of the house and barked loudly in anticipation, until it leaped at him, tongue hanging out panting, letting Graphic hug it tightly, pat its head, feeling the warmth and comfort it gave.
"You have been a good boy, right, Ruthless? I am back now."
"Woof!" At the very least, there was one dog who was definitely happy.
"Welcome home, Khun Graphic."
"You are really back, aren't you?"
"Shall I take your bag up to your room, Khun Graphic?"
"Shall we set the table? Khun Graphic must be tired from returning."
"Would you like to take a bath first?"
"Would you like something light to eat first? I will quickly get something from the kitchen."
Graphic had not yet lifted his head, but the warm voices of many people were speaking to him, until he finally raised his head to look at the many people busily preparing to welcome him.
The gardener, who had once helped him fill in holes in the garden, was taking his bag down for him.
The senior maid, whose kitchen Graphic's stubbornness had once ruined, was now being argued with about setting the dining table.
Aunt Kaew was running around, flustered, about to rush into the kitchen.
Everyone was happy that he had returned to this house. And...
"Welcome home."
Phîi Win, who was smiling at him, also opened his arms, letting the youth rush into the embrace of his only Phîi.
"Phîi Win, I am back. I am sorry I hung up on Phîi. I am sorry," Graphic stammered, afraid this Phîi would be angry. He closed his eyes, burying his face against the tempting slope of the shoulder. Two arms hugged him back tightly, until Win also placed a hand on his head, ruffling it gently with affection.
"I can forgive you, but on one condition."
"What is it, Phîi? What?" Graphic asked in a trembling voice, making Win tap his head lightly.
"Do not run away like that again. It made me worry sick." The young model said with relief, before both hugging and swaying his beloved Nong tightly. Graphic nodded quickly, saying in a shaky voice.
"I will not go. I will not go anywhere again. Please let me stay here, Phîi." The youth pulled back to make eye contact, making the listener nod towards the person behind him.
"Over there. Ask that person. I am just a resident too. But judging by the look in his eyes... the homeowner will not allow you to move out." Phawit said jokingly.
Just seeing the way his Phîi looked at Graphic, he knew that things had changed... This was not the same ruthless, cruel man, but a man who loved that stubborn brat in his arms very much.
"Well said." The person who nodded with a simple demeanor pulled his hands out of his pants pockets and moved to stand behind the one who had just returned, placing his hands on his shoulders to show ownership, before announcing to everyone waiting to welcome him.
"From now on, Graphic will be living here... permanently."
The declaration elicited smiles from many people, with the voice of a close relative asking a follow-up question.
"State his status too."
Pakin made eye contact with his Nong and stated clearly.
"My Mia."
"Hey, just like that, Phîi?!" Graphic shouted loudly, glancing at the speaker's face, which showed not a hint of joking.
"Well, it is like this. Why hide it? Everyone in the house already knows."
"Phîi, it is just like... your youth, or something. But Mia? Phîi Pakin, I am a man." Graphic could not help arguing back, making the listener raise an eyebrow slightly, looking a little annoyed, as if to say, what is the fucking difference?
"Being a man does not preclude being a Mia. You have proven that many times already."
"Hey! How can Phîi fucking bring up something like that?"
"How can a youth being a junior say fuck to me?"
"I will say it! Then Phîi will do what?" Graphic said, looking for an argument, lifting his head to meet his gaze fearlessly, hoping to win for once. Because even though Phîi Pakin listened to him, it did not mean he obeyed every single thing. The original power-obsessed man was still there; what was added was the love he had for him. Therefore, he would argue until he won.
"Then I will not do anything..." The person who raised the corner of his mouth in a smile with an extremely wicked look, then...
"Mmph! Mmmphhh!!!" Âi Graphic shouted loudly in his throat, as warm lips pressed firmly against his lips, crushing down heavily as if asking if he would argue anymore. The one who always lost could only make muffled sounds; he could not complain, he could not throw a tantrum because he was locked in place, with only wide eyes meeting the punishing gaze.
Then, Pakin pulled back and whispered. "I warned you to watch your mouth." Yes, to be careful not to have his mouth shut by another mouth.
An action that was more convincing than just calling him his Mia, because this was... in front of the house.
"Ph-Phîi... Bloody fucking hell!" The loser could only curse, making a move to escape into the house, but was stuck because the homeowner held him tightly, then leaned in to whisper by his ear.
"Love."
A single word that made the listener gradually still, then he could only say...
"You, Phîi, are utterly ruthless."
"And you, I utterly love."
In the end, Krittitee lost the argument again. But it was a loss that made him grin widely, willingly leaning into the warm embrace that had been ruthless to him for many years. But from now on, he would let him know... just how much he loved him.
The love he would get to feel from this person and this house from now on.
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