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~~~
In the dim hour of dawn, before the sun touched the horizon, only the faint light of morning allowed the new day to be seen vaguely. A shadowy figure was opening the bedroom door as quietly as possible, so that there was almost no sound. But for a dog's ears, they were already twitching. The large body covered in thick fur got up from its regular sleeping spot, used its front paws to scratch open the door, and then swiftly ran, wagging its tail, to another room.
"Whine, whine."
"Quiet, be a little quieter, you damned-animal."
"Whine."
The large dog immediately circled in front and behind the person who had taken only a few steps out of the room. The other person raised a hand to their lips and whispered very softly in response. The dog dropped onto its two hind legs, looking up with the hopeful expression that its owner would go for a walk together in the garden.
This gesture made Graphic place his hand on its head. He knelt down so his eyes were at the same level, until he saw the almond-shaped eyes reflecting a devoted loyalty.
"Ruthless, listen to me. I might not be here much longer. You have to be a good boy, understand?" Ruthless tilted its head, not understanding. It did not understand why its owner said he would not be here much longer, even though he was sitting right here.
And that made Graphic's hands tremble more and more.
"If I'm not here, you have to eat every day. If Phîi Pakin cannot feed you, you must agree to eat the food others give you. Because I probably won't be able to come to feed you for a long time. I don't know how many years." Graphic began to feel his nose stuff up, barely able to breathe, but he continued to stroke the first living creature that was truly his, and that truly loved him.
Ruthless was the dog he had wanted his entire life. It was the dog he had begged everyone for, but no one had ever allowed him to keep. Until Phîi Pakin brought it into his life. A dog that, even though they had only been together for a few months, felt as connected as if they had been together for years. It was the dog that protected him from the person who was his Phô, came to be his companion when he was crying, and even wiped his tears.
It was a friend... a good friend. But he had to leave it here.
Ruthless was better off here than anywhere else.
"You must not destroy things, understand? Do not go into Phîi Pakin's garage. Because if I'm not here, there is no one left to take responsibility for you. Do not make yourself a target for bullets. You have to be a good boy. Be a good boy... stay here and obey everyone... You must be very strong and wait for me to come back..." Graphic was about to cry. He hugged the large dog tightly, aware that it was looking at him, surprised that its owner was crying again. And it did the same thing as before. It licked his tears.
Owner, do not cry. Ruthless will protect the owner.
If it could speak, it would tell him. But because it could not speak, it could only lick his tears and nudge its nose against him as comfort.
"I don't know when I will come back. But when I do come back... I will come to get you to live with me. I don't know... when... but wait... I love you, Ruthless." Graphic hugged it tightly once more, pressing his face against the soft fur that smelled of dog shampoo, before letting go. But he was stuck because Ruthless had dropped its head onto his lap as if telling him not to go.
"I have to hurry now. Otherwise, I will miss my flight."
"Whine, whine." Ruthless still cried out. Graphic pushed its head away and stood up. He looked at the dog, which stood up to follow, making a move to leap at him, forcing him to whisper a reprimand, yet it was strong and stern.
"Stay!"
The well-trained dog sat down immediately and remained still. Graphic smiled and placed his hand on its head as if giving a reward.
"Be a good boy."
After that, the person who had made his decision steeled his heart. He then hurriedly stepped down the stairs quickly, his hand gripping the phone containing a message from his Mâe tightly.
Mâe is waiting in front of the house now.
"Khun Graphic." Graphic thought he would not meet anyone else, but he forgot that there was one person who woke up this early. He could only take a deep breath, quickly wipe away his tears, and turn to look at the head housekeeper.
"Are you going back already?"
"Ae, Mâe has come to pick me up, Aunt." Aunt Kaew felt an inexplicable ache in her heart, but she simply smiled in response to the young man's answer.
"Please come back anytime. Next time, Aunt will have snacks waiting. Aunt is learning to make foreign pastries. Khun Graphic likes them more than Thai sweets, right?"
The young man could not speak. Everything seemed to get stuck in his throat. He could not even manage a smile, as he could not say what he was doing.
What Graphic did was turn back to her and hug the elderly woman's body tightly. Aunt Kaew herself frowned in surprise.
"Please take care of yourself, Aunt."
"Why is Khun Graphic saying..."
"I have to go now. I do not want to keep Mâe waiting long."
The young man quickly spoke to cut the conversation short, let go of his hands, forced a smile that clearly looked like a sad smile no matter how one looked at it. Then he turned and quickly strode out of the house, heading straight for the large car where his Mâe was waiting inside, along with several large suitcases.
Do not look back, Graphic. If you look back, you will not be able to bear it yourself.
Slam
"We are late. We will just miss the flight."
"I am sorry."
"And have you said goodbye to everyone in this house? Why is no one seeing you off, son?" The Mâe asked with surprise. She was not surprised that her son said he was staying over at this house, even though today was the day of travel, because he probably wanted to say goodbye to everyone. But it was strange that no one came out to see him off, until Graphic answered calmly.
"It is early, Mâe. I said goodbye to everyone last night."
"If that is the case... then we can drive off now." The Mâe turned to instruct the driver. Graphic kept his head down, looking at his own lap, not daring to even glance at the large mansion that held so many memories. These many months had taught him more than the entire past 18 years.
But even without turning to look, tears slowly dripped onto his lap, until his Mâe comforted him.
"Why are you crying, hmm? It is just studying abroad. Whenever you want to come back, it is just a few hours' flight."
Graphic did not answer the question because he... had no plans to return.
Enough. Chasing after one person for ten years. He would sever everything himself.
***
"Woof! Woof!! Woof!!!"
"What is it!"
The person on the bed jolted awake from the heavy, determined barking of his favorite dog, surprised at what it was barking so fiercely about, even though it knew not to wake him if he was sleeping. But Pakin opened his eyes, then immediately furrowed his brows sharply when he saw that the person he had slept with had already gotten up and left. He hurriedly moved to the door.
In front of the door, only the large dog sat on its hind legs, facing the downstairs area, still barking loudly. He could only speak in a stern voice.
"What are you barking at, you damned-animal?"
"Woof! Woof!! Woof!!"
It turned to look at his face, then turned back towards the front of the house, continuing to bark loudly without stopping, making the dog's owner even more confused.
"Can you make it be quiet? It has been barking for almost half an hour already." Win, who stepped out from another room, said while yawning widely, asking about the other youth.
"Where is Graphic?"
"I did not see him when I woke up." The tall figure replied, then looked down at the large dog that was still barking loudly. Then something pricked his conscience.
"Graphic!!!" The young man shouted the other youth's name loudly. His long legs came down from the second floor, and he began running to search room by room, wondering where that-brat was hiding, because it was so early he should not have woken up quickly. His shouting made the head housekeeper rush out to look.
"Khun Pakin, what is the matter? Why are you shouting so loudly?"
"Have you seen Graphic?"
"Oh, he went back about half an hour ago. The car from his house came to pick him up." The elderly woman answered with a worried expression, then looked up towards the upper floor.
"After Khun Graphic left, Ruthless has been barking continuously. I told it to be quiet, but it would not stop. It just sits in front of the room and will not get up and go anywhere." The listener furrowed his brows even closer together. The sharp face was showing an extremely tense expression, because something told him this was abnormal.
If he was in a hurry to go back, he should have told someone in the house. Not rush off like... he was escaping!
Click
The thought made the tall figure spin around and run quickly back up to the second floor, straight back to the bedroom to frantically search for his personal phone. Once he had it, he quickly called his close aide with frantic urgency, his deep voice mumbling the entire time.
"Answer, damn it, answer!"
[Khrap, Khun Pakin.]
"Ai Chai! Get me the contact number for the person assigned to look after Graphic, now!" Pakin ordered in a strong voice, not caring that his subordinate had just woken up. Because the phone with the tracking app for Graphic had broken during the incident that day, he did not know where it was now. The person on the other end was fully awake, using another phone to call the person assigned to look after the young man. The answer he received made Panchai himself widen his eyes.
[He says Khun Graphic is heading straight to the airport, sir.]
"Bloody fuck!!!"
Pakin did not think he was seeing anyone off; he was escaping from him!
"Find him. Find him right now, find out which flight. I am going to the airport right now!" The young man issued the order, which was no different from a roar. Then he rushed to the dressing room, grabbed a shirt to pull on over his head, changed his pants quickly, searched for and grabbed his passport, then snatched the phone to hold to his ear.
"Did you get it?!"
[I need some time...]
"There is no time!!!" This time, one could say Pakin had lost his mind as he shouted into the phone, then turned to his close relative who had not yet gathered his wits about what was happening, and said in a strong voice.
"Win, if you can contact Graphic, call me. Try to get in touch with him!" The young man said in a strong voice. After that, he paid no attention to anything else, leaping down the stairs three at a time, rushing out to the attached garage to get a high-performance car to speed after the person who was trying to escape from him.
Do not go, Graphic. Do not go anywhere.
Right now, he was frantic, afraid he would let his heart slip from his grasp.
***
"Do not leave me like this!!!"
"Do not cry, Janjao."
"But Graphic... we do not know how long Graphic will be gone. We promised to go to the same university."
"I am sorry."
Sob "Do not say sorry. Do not..."
Suvarnabhumi International Airport was an important gateway for tourists visiting Thailand and an exit door to many countries. This time, it was a place of farewell for a young man who had decided to fly abroad to study in England, with a young woman sobbing, surrounded by her two Phîis who did not want their Nong to come to see him off alone in the early morning.
"You made our Nong cry. I should catch you and teach you a lesson."
"Even if you are protective of your Nong, there should be a limit, Phîi Sun." Graphic turned to his friend's second Phîi, who had stopped glaring at him. But upon seeing his Nong crying for him, he could not help but speak in a displeased tone. That made the person forcing a smile raise his hands to hug his friend's neck, pulling him close.
"Hey, let go!"
"Come on, Sun. Graphic is going to study. Is it too much to just give him a little hug? I think the other one is much scarier." Phîi Tawan, the eldest Phîi, said with a smile that made the second Phîi frown.
"Who, Phîi Tawan?"
"Take good care of yourself over there, Graphic. I have heard people say that our bodies are not strong. When you encounter snow and rain in England, keep your body warm." The eldest Phîi did not answer his Nong's question, but turned to give a warm smile, as befitting an eldest Phîi who cared for the younger ones. The young man raised his hands in a wai.
"Thank you, Phîi. Thank you for coming to see me off."
"Graphic... are you leaving now...?"
Janjao asked in a trembling voice. She did not want her close friend to go study abroad at all, but he said this was the best way to escape from that other person.
Staying here, he would only be weak-willed and return to the same old pain. If he wanted to cut it off... Graphic would escape to the other side of the world.
During the period of over a month that he had secretly prepared without anyone knowing, he submitted documents to a high school there by himself. Fortunately, he had often gone to summer school there, so he knew the procedure. He got a 10-year visa approval, had all the documents, and when the email confirming his acceptance for study came back, Graphic only waited for his injuries to fully heal.
"Hmm, it is almost time. We do not want to miss the final call." The young man said before pulling his friend into a tight hug, swaying gently.
"Thank you for everything, Janjao. When I am ready, I will come back to find you."
"Graphic, are you sure... you will not change your mind?"
"Hahaha. It has come to this. It is just as well that my Mâe happened to have business there, so I have someone to fly with me as company." The young man said that, tightening his hold on his friend's body, then let go.
"Thank you very much, truly." Graphic said as his final words, before taking two steps back, raising his hands in a wai to the two Phîis, then turning back to make eye contact with his red-eyed friend, saying once more.
"Thank you."
Thank you for everything this friend had been for him for over a year. If he did not have Janjao, he did not know how he would have gotten through many forms of suffering.
After that, Graphic did the same as before. He turned his back without looking behind him,
because he was afraid he would cry in front of his friend. But the moment he turned to his waiting Mâe, clear teardrops fell. He had to use the back of his hand to wipe them away gently, but his two legs still walked out towards the passport control point to depart from the land of Thailand, not knowing when he would return again.
Goodbye, Phîi Pakin.
***
[Got it, sir. Khun Graphic's flight is a direct flight to England. The plane departs at seven-forty.]
"Find me a ticket, now!"
[It is done, sir. I have had our people use connections to check in under your name.]
Pakin wanted to press the accelerator to the floor, but the heavy morning traffic made his sharp eyes dart to look at the clock on the dashboard while listening to his subordinate who had arranged everything for him. All that remained was whether he himself could reach the airport in time. Even if he wanted to use his power to stop the plane somehow, a mere half hour was not enough to negotiate with any high-ranking officials.
Therefore, the only way he could catch up was to personally carry that youth off the plane.
The young man honked his horn loudly. Only half an hour and a not insignificant distance was no fun at all. Most aircraft doors closed ten minutes before departure. He had only ten minutes to drive to the airport and another ten minutes to find the plane Graphic was on!!!!
"Do not do this, Graphic. Do not do this!"
Pakin almost hit the car on his left. But even if he had to scrape the curb, he would get there in time. He asked himself what he had done wrong. Had he not done enough? Why did Graphic think to escape from him again? What was there that this man had not yet done? Then, suddenly, the answer floated into his head.
He had never once told Graphic that he loved him.
"Bloody fuck!!!"
The second he realized it, his two hands tried to call the other person, but there was only the voicemail service. He threw it onto the passenger seat, focusing his concentration on the road, which was clear once he got onto the expressway! His long legs pressed down, reaching the maximum speed of the high-performance car without fear of any laws.
Twenty minutes later, with his man waiting holding a boarding pass, he rushed to snatch it. But no matter how much he hurried or tried, Pakin arrived almost... He looked down at his watch, which indicated it was time for the aircraft doors to close.
"Final call has been made, Khun Pakin."
Too late. He was too late!
That was the first thought that flashed through his head, before his sharp eyes gleamed with refusal to concede defeat. His two legs carried him rushing into the building, heading straight for the airline counter Graphic had used, going straight to the staff member who was about to step down from the counter.
"Please contact the captain of the flight to England, the seven-forty flight, for me."
"Pardon?" The other person repeated in surprise. The young man spoke with a frantic tone.
"Please, contact the captain for me." A person like Pakin was begging someone else. But he had no time to call any senior person for help. Therefore, this was the method an ordinary man was using to buy time to go after his loved one. The staff member was about to shake her head.
"My loved one is on the plane. I just arrived. I need to go tell him how much I love him. I need time. Please, contact him for me." The only person with the authority to order the flight was the captain. Therefore, he had to succeed. Even as an older staff member hurried over to look, ready to refuse that it was impossible, what Pakin did was...
Drop
The person who held power over all else dropped to his knees, looking up and speaking with a pleading voice.
"I beg you. I really have something to tell the person I love. He is misunderstanding me. No matter what, I must tell him. I only ask for ten minutes. Contact him to wait for me first. Please help me." Pakin said in a pleading tone, looking straight into the other person's eyes to say please.
And that made the listener pause for a moment.
"Just this once." Before grabbing the phone to make the call, then handing it to the person who could only mumble.
"Thank you. Thank you very much."
Pakin was willing to do everything to tell that youth how much he loved him.
Graphic dropped into his first-class seat and looked out the window with an expression full of uncertainty. He asked himself if he had done the right thing by escaping like this. Even after asking himself hundreds, thousands of times, he got the same answer. If he wanted to stop, he had to go far away. And that made his Mâe turn to look at him.
"Graphic, you know that Mâe is not forcing you to study at a university abroad, right? Sending you to summer school before was just wanting to give you more options."
"..."
The young man did not answer, but made eye contact with his Mâe, wanting to communicate something.
Graphic did not realize that the look in his eyes was so sad it pained the person looking at him.
"Graphic, if you want to stay here, Mâe is not forcing you."
"It... is too late now, Mâe. The plane is about to depart." The young man gave a faint smile and looked out the window again. The other person could only sigh, because she herself had never comforted her son, not even once. Trying to comfort him now was probably too late.
While Graphic himself pulled out his phone. He was hesitating because he had not yet said goodbye to one more person.
He should tell him it was over.
Graphic knew it was an excuse, that he wanted to hear that other person's voice one last time. Therefore, he decided to turn on the phone, intending to call. But...
Buzz. Buzz.
The moment he turned it on, the phone vibrated strongly, and the name appearing on the screen made him pause for a moment.
"Phîi Win."
[Graphic, why are you doing this?]
So that meant everyone at that house knew now.
"What did I do to you, Phîi Win? I did not do anything."
[Graphic, Graphic, listen to me. I do not know if Graphic knows about this yet, but listen to me carefully. When Graphic was in the hospital, the person who stayed with Graphic every night was not Janjao. The person who held Graphic's hand and cried was a man named Pakin!]
"Phîi, do not lie to me." Of course, the young man did not believe it. This was probably just a lie to stop him from escaping. That made Win speak in a strong voice.
[Graphic, Graphic must believe me. Phîi Pakin loves Graphic very much. He went to find Graphic every night after visiting hours ended. He held Graphic's hand, cried for Graphic, begged Graphic to wake up. Do you know how Graphic survived? Pakin was the one who pulled Graphic out when the car was about to explode. He was willing to risk his own life, just as Graphic risked his life for him. Graphic, please, listen to Phîi Pakin first.]
The young man wanted to deny everything he was hearing. He wanted to say it was impossible, it could not be. That person? Holding his hand every night? Pleading for him to come back?
Those tears were not Janjao's, but Phîi Pakin's?
The tears that called him back from death, the voice that whispered begging him not to go anywhere, and the warmth that held his hand tightly... that belonged to that person?
[He might not show his face for Graphic to see, but he watched over Graphic the entire time. He talked to every doctor treating us, spent vast amounts of money to save Graphic's life, and ordered it to be kept a secret. Believe me. That man loves Graphic. Do not leave him like this. Graphic has a chance to receive love in return. Do not throw it away. Do not throw away the chance that I never received like this.]
The young man no longer knew what the other person was saying. He just recalled the terrible moments... So, all of that was not a dream? The person who helped him out of the wrecked car, the person who held his hand, the person who whispered orders for him not to die... that person, who he thought had abandoned him, had been with him the whole time? But...
"It is too late now, Phîi Win. The plane is about to depart. Thank you for telling me." Graphic said as his final words before hanging up.
He looked out the window and found that the reflection on the glass was of a person crying, forcing him to raise his hand to wipe away the tears.
It was too late for him to get off the plane now.
"Graphic, are you okay, son?"
"I..."
The roar of the engines along with the sound of the jet bridge connected to the aircraft door retracting indicated the plane was moving away from the gate. The young man slowly shook his head, knowing it was too late to get off the plane now. He could only speak in a very soft voice.
"Mâe... Graphic does not want to go anymore. I do not want to leave him anymore."
Finally, his true feelings spilled out. And Graphic could not believe his ears when he heard the voice.
"And who gave you permission to leave my life!"
"Phîi Pakin!!!"
Graphic turned sharply to look behind him and saw a man drenched in sweat, panting for breath until his body shook, looking this way with an intensely sharp gaze. He could only freeze.
Grab
The person who rushed straight in yanked his body into an embrace, along with a stern, deep voice whispering by his ear.
"Even if it is a god or a demon, they cannot take you from me!"
Pakin hugged the young man's body tightly. He had caught up. He had followed his own heart and caught up in time.
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