Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
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The round full moon floated prominently in the middle of the sky. It reflected its shadow down on the clear water surface that hit the shore. Small waves also generated white foam bubbles. They rushed into the soft fine sandy beach. It was a natural picture that was extremely peaceful. It was suitable for relaxation before the whole island would change into the biggest racing event in the day after tomorrow.
“Haek... haek... Phîi... I cannot take it... anymore... really cannot take it.”
Inside the room which saw the most beautiful sea view, one young man was lying spread in the middle of the large bed. He panted until his body heaved. His body was soaked with sweat and white stains. There was a big man straddling his body. He breathed heavily until the wide chest rose up and down. He rested a long time before everything returned to calmness.
“Cannot take it anymore?” Pakin asked while brushing the sweat-soaked hair for the person who lay exhausted. His face was flushed red. He nodded quickly.
“Cannot take it... no strength to get up anymore.” Graph did not think that he was weak. But it was because the other party was too strong instead.
If someone asked when they had been in this bedroom, he could say fully that they had been there since Graph stepped foot down on this island. He had not yet greeted Panchai. He had not surveyed around at all. The island owner took him into the room. After that, it was as seen.
He was tired until exhausted like that.
The big person also bent down to look at the posture. He extended his hand to brush away the hair strands that stuck on the forehead to clear the face. He moved up to sit leaning against the bed headboard. Then he picked up a cigarette to light.
“Do you like the present I gave you?”
“I like it... I like it a lot.” The person lying still nodded several times. He wanted to push himself up to sit, but he stated frankly that his entire body ached. His legs were also tired from the tense reception earlier, so he barely wanted to move. He could only look up at the intensely stern face, and could not help his face from flushing hot.
Not seeing each other for several days, Phîi Pakin has visibly tanned.
The person sitting against the pillows, without a blanket covering his body, revealed a strong, powerful physique full of muscle bundles glistening with sweat. Especially when his damp hair was swept back like this, it made the person looking have to avert his gaze. He could not help but feel the other party was releasing a captivating charm that filled the room.
Not to mention that catchy word that made his heart tremble frighteningly.
He did not know if Phîi Pakin spoke from the heart, but it was enough to make a youth so happy his flesh trembled. He would consent to everything, even if extremely tired. If he wanted more, Graph would give more, willingly and readily.
Even if you call me easy, I do not care.
In his life, this was the moment the young man had desired his whole life... the moment this person accepted him.
This was not just acceptance, but held special feelings for him, so the youth who had been striving all along was willing to discard all stubbornness, all obstinacy, all pride, all dignity. He moved closer, to rest his hands on the lap, then buried his face there, closed his eyes, and spoke in a faint, wavering, yet most stable voice.
“I missed you so much, Phîi.”
The listener let out a smile upon seeing the troublemaker youth acting spoiled. It was not very becoming, but he could not deny that burying his face and lying against his lap like this was cute enough to make him take a deep drag on his cigarette before turning to put it out. Then he used both hands to grip the waist, pulling the powerless person to move up and hug him.
“It was only a few days.”
“It was almost a week!” Graph argued in a hoarse voice, making the listener laugh in his throat. He moved his hand to nestle into the soft hair, stroking it playfully, enjoying the feel.
“Did you manage to answer the exam questions?”
“I answered every question, but whether they are correct is another matter.”
“I heard someone tutored you.”
“Ah, yes, yes. I was holed up at Janjao's house all Saturday and Sunday. I told you, Phîi.”
“That is right.”
Graph nodded, feeling unbelievably good as the other party inquired about his well-being during their time apart. Once he was willing to listen, the youth whom everyone thought disliked talking about himself opened up and narrated.
“Uncle Pong said he met my Phô. I do not know how they talked, but now my Phô is sending me money again like before. He even said I can stay at your house. Uncle also took me to events. I am not very used to suits, but it was fun. So many people came to flatter Uncle. It was funny to watch, somehow.”
“So you were with my Phô the whole week.”
“Well, Phîi Win was busy. I heard he was accepting a job for a photo book or something, so he was not home much. Uncle took me out to dinner almost every day, until Aunt Kaew got sulky. Oh, speaking of this, it is so funny. Aunt Kaew threw a cleaver snap at me! Then she asked if her cooking was no longer delicious, was that why I was not staying to eat? I almost didn't make it into the kitchen in time.”
“Sounds like you had fun.”
“It was fun, Phîi. Oh, and there is also the matter of the Ruthless one. I really do not understand. When you are home, it is so calm and dignified, like a high-class dog. When you are not home, it shows its true colors. It dug holes all around the field! I feel so sorry for the gardener who has to fill in the holes it digs. Before, I even went to help him fill them. The grass was gone in patches, and then it dug again. I just found out it was burying its toys. I thought it did not like to play. Turns out, I almost threw a rubber ball at its head.” Graph narrated in a good mood, gradually moving, gradually leaning, until now the slender figure was sitting leaning against the other's chest, his head resting on the shoulder, his two hands placed on the large hands that were holding his waist.
The young man stated that he liked this more than having rough sex.
Sitting and talking like this relieved a lot of his longing.
Yes, he called Phîi Pakin every day. Some days the other party called, but they would only talk for a few sentences before hanging up. Just 'I went to class today', 'I had an exam today', and it ended there, then the call ended. Now that they met in person, now that he was willing to listen to him talk, Graph wanted to tell every story that happened during the week.
But it seemed the listener... was not pleased.
It was not that the youth was having fun in Bangkok while he was busy preparing for the event. He was just displeased that among the stories... he was not included.
Hey, what are you thinking, you Pakin? This youth...
The tall figure wanted to shake his head, but he brushed away the deep feeling he could no longer contain. Everything was becoming clearer every day. From finding it annoying to have an arrogant youth strutting around, he now found it normal for Graph to live in his house, to request to eat dinner together, to want to go out and have fun like a normal youth. And he would get furious when he did not allow it.
Everything had become a familiar habit.
Having him by his side was not as bad as he thought.
Right now, Graph might not be ready to jump on the tiger's back with him, but he was no longer a stupid prey ready to be hunted. This youth was thinking for himself and now knew that following orders was not because he was a dictator, but because he was concerned for his safety.
A safety that now had no excuses left.
Pakin did not do all this because of shared benefits with his Phô, but he did it for the youth himself.
“This morning it acted like it wanted to come along. I do not know how it knew Uncle Pong was bringing me here. He just said he was taking me to play a round of golf. The next thing I knew, I was dragged onto the helicopter. I was almost scared to death when he told me to sit in the ho... ”
“Enough about the Ruthless one.” Before the hoarse voice could finish the story, Pakin interjected with a strong voice, making the youth look up at him, making a worried expression as if afraid of being angered again. Moreover...
“Are you angry with me, Phîi?”
The dry, hoarse, pleading tone made the person who cut him off laugh softly. He pressed a hand down on his head, patting it lightly.
250 Before pushing his body to make him sit up a bit, making Graph look even more upset.
“Phîi, I really did not disobey your orders. I did not know Uncle was bringing me here... ”
“I have not said a single word of blame. Come here.” The tall figure said while shaking his head slightly as he stood up beside the bed. A large hand reached out to grab his arm, making the young man crawl to the edge of the bed, his posture still suggesting his legs were too shaky to walk. And that...
Thud
“Hey!!”
“Stay still. You are not light. If you struggle, I will definitely drop you.” Krittitee was indeed caught off guard when the other suddenly slid his hands under his knees and the nape of his neck and lifted him all at once. His body lifted into the air, making him flinch and hug the other's neck tightly, afraid of falling. The slight struggling made Pakin speak in a strong voice, making him look up sharply, opening his mouth meaning to argue, 'What the hell are you doing, Phîi!' But...
The sharp, stern face was adorned with a smile... a teasing one, at that.
“Go on, struggle. Struggle and I will throw you.”
Who would dare, especially with someone who meant what he said.
He started walking. The young man muttered to himself, pouting, turning his face away, before his legs shook slightly when the other started walking.
“I carried you like this back then too.”
“Huh, Phîi carried me like a sack of rice. And you threw me too.” Graph did not know why he remembered, but he vividly recalled the time the other carried him and threw him out at the house. At that time, there was not a bit of gentleness, as if he was just an unwanted thing. Unlike now... Phîi Pakin was carrying him carefully, trying not to hurt him.
The person led him into the bathroom, set him down on the edge of the large bathtub, and turned on the warm water to fill the large tub. Then he stepped in first.
“Come here.”
Why did he have to obey? Thinking about the past made him resentful!
Sulk
In his heart, he might think that, as images from the day he was both physically and emotionally hurt flashed in his head. But in reality, Graph lowered his legs into the bathtub, slid into the tub, and then... moved into the embrace that was already waiting for him.
Of course, he was extremely embarrassed.
Seriously, when Phîi Pakin is bad, he is extremely bad. But when he is good... he is so good it is frightening.
The thought made Graph look away, and then he found that even the bathroom faced the sea. He could only hold onto the edge of the tub, looking at the pitch-black, ominous sea that looked scary, but he believed it must sparkle in the daytime.
“It is beautiful during the day.” The person looking knew what he was thinking, so he murmured casually as he scooped warm water to pour over the shoulders of the sickness-prone youth who was about to shiver to death from the air conditioning before the tub was full.
“This side is the beach around the island. Only the other side has a pier built out. Actually, it was just built specifically for this event. Most guests staying here come by helicopter... it is far from the shore. It is a hassle.” Pakin narrated, making the person resting his chin on the tub edge turn to look excitedly.
“Can I go see it?”
“You may.”
“And can I go play in the water too? I have not been to the sea in a long time. I have not been to the sea for so long I can hardly remember when I last came.” Ordinary youths might have school breaks where they get to travel with their Phô and Mâe, but not Graph. Since childhood, the school breaks he was familiar with were spent in the hospital. When he got healthier, he was sent abroad for summer, with a nanny following to take care of him, devoid of the shadow of parents who were busy with their own matters.
This might be the first time he was truly going on a school break trip with someone.
“Hmm, tomorrow there should be nothing... I will take you around the island.”
“Really?!” The listener moved closer again, bringing his face near, asking excitedly, making Pakin shake his head.
“How many times have I said I never lie?”
“It is just that you are a heartless-person.”
“Watch your mouth.” The large person said in a strong voice, looking at him with a scolding expression, making the person who accidentally argued back fall silent for a moment. And because the atmosphere was more relaxed and comfortable than ever, or perhaps he was emboldened by the previous 'I miss you', the young man who was afraid of saying the wrong thing and being thrown out looked at him defiantly, raising a teasing smile, making a face like he did months ago.
The kind of face that Phîi Pakin liked to call annoying.
“I will not watch it. Why should I watch it?”
“Heh.” The expression of the person looking made him laugh in his throat. Then...
Thud
“Mmm.” Warm lips pressed firmly against the bruised lips. At Pakin's level, there was no way it would be a soft, gentle peck or a tender tasting, but rather a fierce, passionate kiss that crushed everything, transmitting heat to the pale cheeks, invading until the youth almost could not breathe, before finally releasing him to look at his handiwork.
“I warned you to watch your mouth.”
Graph could only widen his eyes, raising a hand to gently touch his own lips, but he could not argue back. He could only look into the sharp eyes that gleamed fascinatingly, not to mention the shrewd face that reflected a challenging glint.
“Go on, challenge me again. From now on, I will not throw you far away... . Punishing you in a way that benefits me is better.” The man who prioritized benefits above all said so, until the person who had wanted this kind of contact for a long time, yet when faced with the real thing, was at a loss, could only turn his face away towards the sea because... his ears were completely hot.
Damn it, I cannot win!
The thoughts of the person who pouted, trying to make a displeased face, but when pulled into an embrace, he could only go with the pulling force.
Just stay like this. Admit defeat, Graph. Whether Phîi Pakin is kind or heartless, you have no ability to fight him.
Today, Graph learned one more thing... watch your mouth when in front of Phîi Pakin.
“Phîi, don't tell me this entire route is the race track!”
A new morning. Even though Graph was weary from the activities of the previous night, and he did not even know when he had fallen asleep in the tub or how he was carried to bed, he did not want to miss the chance to tour this island. The young man therefore woke up early, waking his bedmate to take him touring.
Now the handsome, rebellious youth, wearing knee-length shorts and a bright yellow tank top, was exclaiming excitedly, talking to the driver who pressed a button to open the roof of the beautiful sports car they used to come to the island, letting the cool wind hit them. Then he turned back to look at the workers along the way who were checking cameras installed at every interval and the lights for the night race.
“Yes, the route around the island is the race track. Hold on tight.”
Vroooooom
Graph leaned back against the car seat, staying still as the person beside him shifted gears, pressed the accelerator, making the high-performance car surge forward, speeding through a curve. Then he shifted gears again as it was a steep climb up the mountain, until the engine roared, the speedometer rising high every moment, the scenery on both sides seen only as shadows passing by. The young man, experiencing this level of speed for the first time, felt as if his blood was boiling.
It was a speed so challenging it made his heart tremble... the kind of speed that Phîi Pakin liked.
“Awesome!” Graph cried out excitedly when the other reduced speed, looking back at the curve that, if he had not known beforehand, he would have crashed into the roadside. The driver explained as well.
“Tomorrow evening is the opening event. Ten race cars from the biggest investors. Unfamiliar route, and an environment with only street lights. Think about how many racers will be able to drive their cars to the finish line.”
“Whoa, I think some people will fall off the mountain and die.”
“Believe me, that is a scene some people want to see.”
Graph did not really understand those who wanted to see violence, but their numbers must be sufficient for Pakin to invest in making an island as an illegal race track. And he was not such a naive person to say that doing this was bad. If he thought it was bad, he probably could not stay by this man's side.
To reach this point, Phîi Pakin must have done things that are more than just 'not good', even if he did not talk about it.
“Tomorrow I will have you participate in the event.”
“Really?!!” Graph had already resigned himself to being locked in the room starting tomorrow, like previous times, with the reason that he was a jinx, that wherever he went, things ended up broken. But hearing that the other party would allow him to join the event... he could not believe his ears.
The repeated question made the listener frown slightly.
Whenever he says something, this youth always questions it. Thinking about it, it is because he has never given him anything before.
Never having received, so when he does receive, he has to question it like an insecure youth.
From now on, he must make him more confident that he really means to give it to him.
Pakin thought to himself, smiling slightly.
Having this youth sitting beside him was not bad at all.
“Phîi, rock-paper-scissors!”
“Are you a child or what?”
“Yeah, I am a youth! And I am a youth who wants to play in the water! But you said yourself the sun was too hot, so you brought me here!” Graph could only argue loudly while they stood in the middle of the game room, in front of a wooden pool table he could not believe was here too... a pool table made of wood, with figures standing in rows on the green board, a model of a real field.
This room was for young children brought by their parents, but he never thought he would be thrown here, even though...
“If you do not want to play, then let me into that room.” Graph pointed to another building of the resort, which he knew had a small casino inside. But the owner...
“Not allowed.”
The listener pouted immediately, not understanding why he himself did so many illegal things, but just taking an 18-year-old to walk through a casino—just to look, not even to play—was not allowed.
“Then let's go play by the beach.”
“I told you to wait a moment.” And this answer followed, making the stubborn youth walk over to cling to the glass, wanting to go down to play in the water desperately, especially in the midday when the sunlight was shining, making the clear, bright blue water sparkle and glimmer like fine glass.
Besides, the sand probably felt soft. Kicking a ball around would be fun.
The imprudent person who had endured a heavy battle yesterday told himself determinedly, ignoring the drinks the staff brought. He could only use his gaze, wanting to go down and play, directed at the person sitting with an arm resting on the chair back, sipping alcohol since the afternoon. And believe me, this was not the only glass of the day.
Until, after a while, Panchai came in.
“The documents you requested, Khun Pakin.” Pakin took them, scanning them quickly with his eyes, while the newcomer turned to make eye contact with the youth who wanted to play.
“Phîi Chai, Phîi Chai! Do you have jet skis here?”
“Yes, we do. Stored in the boat house. But actually, the highlight here is kitesurfing... Do you know it? You stand on a board tied to a kite. When you jump, it is like flying in the air... ”
“He will end up crashing headfirst into rocks and dying.”
Pakin signed the documents he had been waiting for all day, then interjected, cutting off his close aide who was presenting water activities that might lead the youth who always found dangerous trouble for himself to find more trouble. The person whose eyes were shining because he wanted to try could only pout, muttering irritably.
“What do you allow me to do, Phîi?”
“Play in the water by the beach and build sandcastles. I grant you two things.”
The listener could only open his mouth, about to curse, but closed it immediately when he met the intense, stern gaze that confirmed he would only get these two extremely childish activities. Meanwhile, the speaker himself stood up, telling his close aide,
“If anything, I will be at the beach... Are you coming? To play in the water.”
“I am!” As the other turned to look, the listener quickly accepted, standing up almost too hastily, rushing to follow the person taking him to play in the water, before Phîi Pakin could change his mind and not let him play even in the harmless clear water and the white sandy beach he had wanted to tread on since arriving here.
The demeanor of the two made Panchai smile, because it seemed his boss was going to accept the argumentative youth into his heart completely.
The smile had to be hidden when he heard someone's voice.
“What about Graph?”
“Khun Graph went out to play in the water.” The young man took a deep breath before turning to face the person dressed as attractively as ever—no, perhaps even more so—whether it was the shorts clinging just to the hip bones or the white tank top that revealed quite a lot.
The person stepped close to the glass, seeing the two who had gone down to the beach.
“You know, sometimes I envy Graph.”
Chai did not respond, just stood still, keeping his distance, because he knew the other was not finished. Then the model turned to meet his gaze.
“But I could never get what I hope for like Graph.” The beautiful, sharp eyes stared steadily, then smiled just slightly.
However... “Do not worry. Our matter is over.” Having said that, Win turned to go back to his room.
“Aren't you going to see Khun Graph?”
“No. I have a job later. I need to take care of my skin.”
The model walked away, leaving only the person who reached out as if to hold him back but clenched his fist tightly, lowering it to his side. Because no matter how much his heart wanted to talk to him, he did not deserve to do so. Even though he saw it clearly and felt it with his heart.
Those eyes never said it was over. It was he himself... who ended it every time.
“I do not deserve it.”
Words he wanted to whisper to the person who, even while smiling, had eyes... that were always crying.
“Sigh.”
“It is not my fault I am sick. It is because of that damned sun!”
Graph knew his body was not like others, a result of weakness since childhood. But he himself also did not expect that after having intense sex, going out to sit in a car exposed to the wind, and ending with playing in the water under the sun for several hours, the result today would be an elevated body temperature, dry, cracked lips, eyes reddened from fever, and his body drenched in sweat.
The illness made the island owner sigh without hiding his expression.
Meanwhile, the arguing back and forth made Pakin himself shake his head. He placed a hand on his forehead and found it hotter than ever, probably because this youth had overexerted himself more than any previous time.
He had a doctor come check the symptoms, and the result was sunstroke.
“Take some medicine and rest.”
“But I want to go with you.”
“In this condition? You cannot even get up to get dressed.” The young man could only turn to look at the suit hanging ready, thinking he would get to see the event the other was hosting, but instead, the illness forced him to guard the room!
“The TV in this room is connected to the live feed of the race outside. Just watch from here.” Pakin said while nodding towards the television, knowing this youth was eagerly looking forward to it. But in this condition, if he went out, he would probably collapse or sit listlessly at the event. It was better to rest here.
“It is not like the event is only for one day. Once you recover, you can go out.” He was not skilled at comforting youths, but it managed to make the young man's expression improve a bit. Then he looked down at his watch, indicating the host should go out to greet the guests.
“Then I will go out first. If anything, call me.” Pakin placed a phone by the bedside, making the sick person nod a few times. The eyes that were once stubborn were now pleading, making him sigh, turning back to bend down and kiss the lips.
“Be a good youth and wait here.”
“Mmm, I will be a good youth.”
Then the once-stubborn person accepted, closing his eyes obediently, and probably fell asleep until Pakin returned, making the onlooker feel reassured, not knowing that when he returned again... this youth would not be lying on the bed as before.
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