Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
~~~
Krittithee hated hospitals. He hated the white corridors, he hated the nurses and doctors in white uniforms, he hated the smell of them. All of it reminded him of childhood memories when he was compelled to stay in the hospital while other youths attended school. He hated it immensely, particularly the narrow, air-conditioned rooms with only a clear window through which to see outside. Now, he stood before a private hospital he once frequented. “When you have completed your treatment, meet me at the car.”
“What does that mean?” Graph turned to face the speaker immediately, while the other was turning toward the back seat, until the young man observed something he had not noticed initially... a bouquet of flowers.
The question prompted the older person to turn back with a bouquet of bright red roses and respond simply, yet irresponsibly.
“Go have your wounds treated. You are capable of walking by yourself, are you not?”
“Phîi is not accompanying me?” This time, the listener turned to face him fully, his thick eyebrows raising slightly before he spoke with an... irritating demeanor.
“I brought you here and delivered you as your Phô commanded. However, I have no obligation to escort a needy junior like you to the treatment room. You possess legs; walk by yourself. Do not tell me that you are so injured you cannot walk and must behave needily.” Pakin spoke with a slightly annoyed demeanor as he exited the car, prompting the injured youth to follow swiftly, stepping forward to grasp the arm of the person holding the bouquet.
“Where is Phîi going!” Graph inquired, glaring intently at the bouquet in his hand. The listener responded, but in this manner.
“Since when am I required to report to you?” Having spoken this, the young man locked the car and strode purposefully into the building, causing the listener to bite his own lip until it pained him, yet he endeavored to match the other’s pace, arguing as he went.
“Nevertheless, I want Phîi to accompany me.”
Whirl
“Are you a youth or what, Graph!” The listener spun around to confront him, speaking in a strong voice, causing the young man to freeze, gazing into the pair of sharp eyes that reflected displeasure.
“I brought you here as you desired. Yet now you continue to cause conflict for me? Are you aware that instead of addressing the work piling up on my desk, I must waste time retrieving a boastful, dim-wit youth who possesses nothing but troubles? Can't you behave as an older person so I am not forced to suffer continues irritation?” Pakin spoke in a very strong voice. His deep, sharp, unfathomable eyes appeared even more formidable because they were filled with a mixture of irritation, annoyance, and anger. The person being addressed could only press his lips together.
“When you have completed your treatment, meet me at the car. Do not cause further conflict." The speaker observed that the round eyes before him glistened with clear droplets, resembling those of a youth scolded by an older person and resorting to tears. However, he offered no comfort, provided no explanation, and instead turned and proceeded into the elevator to the inpatient floor immediately.
The tall figure departed, leaving only an immature youth who could only stand motionless with resentment.
“Adversity, adversity, adversity! Phîi perceives me solely as an cause of trouble!” Graph bit his lip firmly, stubbornly suppressing the urge to weep, he thought.
I do not want to go elsewhere, Graph thought.
“I do not wish to be Phîi’s adversary in any manner. Cannot you show me a tiny bit of kindness?” The slender figure blinked vigorously, chasing away the teardrops, then swiftly looked up to ascertain which floor the elevator had stopped upon. Then he turned around.
“I am aware it must be thus, but why cannot I simply relinquish this, Âi Graph?” The young man questioned himself for the hundredth time. It was not that he did not wish to relinquish. He did. Liking a man was troublesome enough, but to like a bad man like Phîi Pakin, life would surely be nothing but ruin. Yet where could he stop?
Graph had attempted to stop visiting Phîi Pakin, wondering if Phîi would think of him at all. After less than a month... his heart found a way to see his face, even if only briefly. Even though he knew that as soon as he appeared... he would be reprimanded.
“I despise myself,” Graph muttered as he dragged his injured body to the examination room. His red eyes appeared to cause the nurse to misunderstand greatly.
“It will not cause much pain. I shall endeavor to be gentle.”
Others believed he suffered from the fresh wounds, no different from the previous day. Yet in truth, who would know that what pained him was not his body, but the wound in his heart that someone had just freshly inflicted, Graph thought.
The physical pain is nothing compared to this heartache, Graph thought.
Knock knock knock
“Yes, you may enter.”
Creak
“Greetings, beautiful.”
While Graph received treatment for his wounds downstairs, Pakin had proceeded to stabilize his mood before entering a recovery room. The occupant of the room turned to regard him with a bizarre expression, then sighed and raised the hand that still bore an intravenous line to inquire if this was what he deemed beautiful.
“Phîi’s vision must be failing if you consider someone who has been in the hospital for a week to be beautiful.” The young woman in the patient gown spoke while shaking her head. The listener laughed as he approached the bedside.
"I believe Plai-fah remains beautiful.”
“Are you seeking something by saying that?”
“No. I merely express what I observe.”
Even though moments earlier Pakin had been nearly consumed by irritation with some dim-witted youth who could not even walk to the treatment room independently, merely entering this room, the young man transformed his expression from stern to cheerful. His irritated eyes glinted with desire, resembling a man brimming with allure in an instant.
His demeanor varied with each person, particularly with this young woman, Plai-fah.
A young woman with a beautiful face that, though pale from enduring the flu for over a week, could not conceal her attractive appearance. Even though the young woman wore a patient gown, the pale, loose-fitting garment rendered her naturally alluring.
Plai-fah was one of the persons he desired but had not yet attained.
A young woman whom others might consider ordinary, but Pakin knew well the distinctiveness of Plai-fah, particularly... when she was on the track.
“How are you doing?”
“Much improved. The twins visited a few days ago and informed me of events at the circuit... Initially I regretted being ill precisely when Phîi held the event, but now I regret even more that I did not witness Phîi Pakin’s unrestrained, furious demeanor.” Though the young woman appeared diminutive compared to Pakin, the eyes that sought a challenge, the smile that declared she didn't fear the young man, and her daring to jest about what she had heard pleased the onlooker.
Who would believe that this unremarkable bank employee was an anonymous female racer whose skills were not inferior to Oat’s in the slightest?
Plai-fah could surpass large men on a superbike, and her beauty on the track had captivated Pakin since he first saw her until... he desired her.
“Do you wish to witness Phîi when I am unrestrained?” The young man spoke while placing the bouquet of roses on the bedside table, then moved over the young woman’s bed. A large hand positioned itself beside the pillow, while the other reached to grasp her soft, sleek hair.
Pakin allowed the jet-black hair to flow through his palm until the ends, then held it, drawing it to the tip of his nose, while his sharp eyes gazed solely at the other’s pale face that still bore a faint smile.
At this moment, the atmosphere in the recovery room transformed instantly as the older person entered a fully serious demeanor. Those eyes reflected fervent emotions and a desire to conquer.
A sentiment that Plai-fah herself could perceive.
Phîi Pakin can make a recovery room like a hotel room prepared for a contest upon the bed, Plai-fah thought.
This man is sexually alluring. She knew it well, Plai-fah thought.
“Are you intending to intimidate a patient?” The attractive woman inquired with a sweet smile, prompting Pakin to lean even closer, lowering his voice to a soft, intimate tone.
“Then... Do you want to be intimidated?”
The tall figure spoke in a deep, husky voice that resonated through the listener’s nerves, unaware that the room door was opening quietly because his eyes were fixed solely upon the pleasure that made him forget some immature youth.
“What is the matter, Plai-fah...”
“What are you doing, Phîi Pakin!” Graph exclaimed.
Before he could receive an answer, a complaining voice resounded from the doorway, causing Pakin to frown sharply. A moment later, both fists clenched, and he turned to regard the intruder with a growl.
“Graphic!”
The moment this name escaped the young man’s lips, the bizarrely charged atmosphere from moments earlier vanished instantly, replaced by a sentiment of fury at being interrupted. The young woman on the bed also frowned slightly, glancing at the youth at the door who clenched his fists tightly, visibly enraged.
“What is the bloody fucking hell you are doing! Phîi is obligated to escort me for treatment, yet Phîi comes here instead!” Graph exclaimed immediately, glaring at the young man before him with extreme anger.
He had requested the nurse to hurry the treatment, and once it was completed, instead of waiting at the car, the young man had ascended to the floor where he had seen the elevator halt earlier. Simply by asking the young female nurses whether they had seen someone of Phîi Pakin’s stature enter a room, the young man’s prominence made it easy to get the information. Yet as soon as he opened the door...
Observing the person he had striven so diligently to have escort him to the hospital about to kiss another caused such pain that he nearly wished to weep.
Phîi accompanied me. At this moment, Phîi belongs to me, not to this young woman! Graph thought.
“Where I proceed is my concern. You possess no right to interfere. Cease behaving as an embarrassing youth. You are disturbing the patient.”
“The patient! What manner of patient summons a man to her recovery room!”
Graph exclaimed in retort, not considering the preservation of anyone’s dignity. The listener stared back with glinting eyes. This time, Pakin uttered no word, offered no reprimand. He merely gazed at the young man with coldly-aloof eyes. That alone sufficed to silence the person being regarded, while... tears brimmed in his eyes.
“Heh. Throwing a tantrum and then weeping.” Pakin uttered a scornful sound.
“I am not weeping!” The stubborn youth retorted, even as he endeavored to wipe the tears from his face.
I despise Phîi Pakin’s gaze, Graph thought.
Why cannot Phîi Pakin regard me as he regards others? Why must he reserve this disgusted look solely for me? Graph thought.
“Proceed to wait at the car.”
“No!” Yet when the other commanded, he still refused, even rushing to the sofa and crossing his arms, declaring that if Phîi does not depart, I shall not depart either.
A demeanor that caused Pakin no small measure of annoyance.
“If Phîi does not depart, I shall not depart.” Graph insisted resolutely, even casting a hateful glance at the young woman on the bed, then looking past her at the bouquet of bright red roses by the head of the bed.
Phîi Pakin never intended to escort me for treatment from the start. He intended to visit this young woman all along, Graph thought.
Considering himself merely a secondary plan for someone else, Graphic clenched both fists tightly.
“Or is this Nong... Oh, I comprehend. So this is the one.”
Yet, amidst the tense atmosphere between the two young men, the occupant of the room spoke, even nodding several times. She turned to regard the face of the rather attractive young man, then turned to smile at Pakin.
“Is this the one of whom everyone speaks?”
“The unwanted presence whom everyone deems a nuisance.” Though Graph wondered how he had become known, Pakin’s dismissive words caused his heart to ache even more.
“No one deems me a nuisance. Only Phîi.” Graph responded.
Whirl
“Though you know it full well, why do you persist in appearing to be a nuisance to me!” That was sufficient. Pakin whirled around, exclaiming in a strong voice, causing the other to startle, his eyes widening before they welled with tears that the owner swiftly lowered his head to conceal. From arguing incessantly, he now felt speechless.
If I continue speaking, I shall surely weep, Graph thought.
The thought of someone pinching his own flesh to cause his body pain until it grew numb... numb to Phîi Pakin’s heartless words.
Knock knock knock
At that moment, the room door was knocked upon before an older nurse entered.
“Please lower your voices. This is a recovery room. If you persist in being this loud, I will have to ask you to leave. It disturbs the other patients.” A stern face and a curt tone caused the source of the noise to lower his head to avoid her gaze, while Pakin also turned to meet her eyes.
“I was about to depart, Khrap.” The young man spoke only that, then turned to address the person on the bed.
“I am leaving now. Recover swiftly.” Then, the young man did not even glance at the other young man, and walked out of the room immediately, prompting Graph to jump up swiftly.
“Phîi Pakin!”
“Tch.” Merely from shouting his name, the nurse uttered a warning sound, but the youth did not heed it. He ran after the person who did not wait for him in any manner. Yet at that moment...
“Nong Graph.” The person on the bed called out, causing the owner of the name to turn and regard her irritably.
“Do not call my name.” The young woman still wore a smile as she spoke, “Yes. Phîi merely wished to state that Phîi and Phîi Pakin have no connection. You may rest assured.”
“Why are you informing me?” Graph spoke curtly, then rushed off after the other person, while Plai-fah smiled slightly to herself.
I cannot believe there is someone who can render Phîi Pakin so flustered, Plai-fah thought.
The thought made her desire to leave the hospital swiftly.
Ordinarily, observing Pakin as a perfect man irritated her slightly. Yet seeing Pakin with emotions akin to an ordinary person left her... intrigued.
***
Vrooom
“Phîi Pakin! Hey, Phîi Pakin!”
By the time Graph caught up with the other person downstairs, the luxurious car had already driven out of the parking area and sped past him, causing his eyes to widen. Though he endeavored to shout with all his might, the rear of the luxury car sped away without any intention of waiting in any way.
Thus, he looked left and right before withdrawing his telephone.
“Phîi Pakin, Phîi cannot do this!”
“Phîi Pakin!” Though the other person answered the call, there was no response, indicating he was extremely angry. Graph endeavored to shout.
“Phîi cannot abandon me here!”
“Phîi promised my Phô! Phîi must escort me home! Otherwise, I shall inform my Phô!” The selfish youth used his Phô’s name to threaten. That prompted a low voice to respond.
[In front of the hospital... beep]
Then the line disconnected immediately, causing the listener to whirl to look toward the front of the hospital. Both legs endeavored to run out as swiftly as possible. In his heart, he was both angry and displeased, but above all else... he was bloody fucking hurt. Phîi cannot abandon me like this! Graph thought.
The thought caused him to run after until he saw the damn impressive car parked by the curb, causing his lips to lift.
He is still waiting, Graph thought.
However...
Vrooom
Just as he approached closely enough to nearly reach the car, it drove off, causing his mouth to drop open.
Then it halted again hundreds of meters away, compelling him to lift his telephone to call again.
Ring ring ring
This time, not only did he not answer, he turned it off completely, causing Graph to grit his teeth firmly.
“Phîi wishes to play thus, is that so!” Having spoken thus, Graph swiftly strode straight toward that car. However, after running until he was exhausted, panting, and nearly reaching the car...
Vrooom
It drove away again, rendering the young man even more resentful.
In truth, Krittithee had no need to beg. He could simply turn and hail a taxi to return home comfortably. Yet he still gritted his teeth and ran after that car like a madman. To make the damned shit-lizard move the car away as if teasing a youth with candy. Yet it was a tease that caused Graphic both physical and emotional pain.
His wounds felt as though they were tearing, but he still gritted his teeth and ran after the car, panting heavily.
“Phîi Pakin! Good Lord, Phîi cannot do this! You cannot do this to me!” The young man shouted loudly, heedless of how the people on the street regarded him. He only watched the rear of the luxury car that stopped and started, while tears were about to flood his beautiful eyes.
I cannot endure it any longer. I cannot run any further, Graph thought.
The thought of someone who transitioned from running to walking, panting until his chest ached, looking through his tear-blurred vision solely at the taillights of the supercar, until...
Tap
His hand grasped the rear of the car, nearly causing him to smile with joy. Yet...
Vrooom
The luxury car roared like an enraged bull before speeding out onto the road, not quietly as moments before, but accelerating through a red light until Krittithee could only stand motionless. Before...
Plop
The slender figure slumped to sit upon the curb, heedless of anything further. Then... he burst into tears.
I despise Phîi! Graph thought.
I despise that Phîi grants me hope and destroys it completely, repeatedly, Graph thought.
Observing the image of that bothersome youth running after the car might evoke pity in many persons. Yet for Pakin, he... felt satisfied.
Throughout the time Graph ran after the car, the young man glanced in the rearview mirror to observe the exhausted young man running heavily, panting, yet still unwilling to relinquish and hail a taxi home. He stubbornly ran after his car. Each time he approached closely, Pakin would move the car away.
What Pakin was doing was not a playful jest. He desired to punish this youth.
Since he could not act violently toward him, and reprimanding him only prompted him to lift his chin and challenge him irritatingly, he would engage with him thus. Let us see how much endurance Khun-chai Krittithee possesses. Yet in the end, he still ran after the car until... Pakin grew irritated.
Finally, when Graph ran and touched the rear of his car, Pakin deemed the game concluded and drove away.
He did not consider himself heartless. It was Graph who should realize that he shouldn't trouble him any further.
Just now it was the same. What Pakin despised most was someone acting possessively. With a possessive youth like Graph, he disliked it even more when he shrieked like a little youth that Pakin had no right to do this or that. Because an person like him had never been compelled by anyone. If he desired to do something, he did it. If not, he did not. Who was Graph to dictate what he must do?
That was what Pakin despised the most. And Graphic was prepared to make himself despised.
Even if the person he was with was not Plai-fah, but a friend, a Phîi, or a junior, he would not appreciate what Graph was expressing.
He is merely an immature youth seeking attention, Pakin thought.
Pakin reiterated to himself, glancing at the rearview mirror, which reflected only the image of the road with many cars, not the youth who smiled broadly when he touched his car.
“If you are too dim-witted to return by yourself, simply call someone from home.” The young man spoke thus, deciding whether to turn into the office or seek a place to vent his irritation. However...
“Bloody fucking hell.”
Screeeech
Suddenly, the young man resolved to cut across the road without signaling, wasting no time, swerving before the car behind, which sounded its horn at him. He did not heed it, besides making a U-turn ahead, and sighed with ennui.
“Recall, for his Phô’s sake.” The young man told himself, confident that he had made the U-turn because of Graph’s Phô’s sake and not desiring conflict to follow later merely because of a moment of satisfaction. When Pakin turned the car back, he desired that youth to find his own way back. Yet observing the figure in the high school uniform sitting hunched over with his knees on the roadside caused his heart to stir slightly.
“Dim-wit!”
Yes, that was the sole word he could conceive as he parked by the curb and exited.
“Another...”
Getting out made him see that the figure curled into a pitiful ball was trembling throughout. He had to stand before him, and the tip of the shoe seen in the corner of his eye caused the youth sitting, embracing his knees, to look up slowly to reveal... a face smeared with tears.
His usual face was irritating enough, but his face now was so grimy it was beyond attractive.
However... It was pitiable.
“Hic... Phîi returned... Why... simply leave! Go wherever you want!”
The pitiableness vanished as soon as he uttered the first sentence.
“It is well that you say that.” Yet Pakin was still Pakin, who turned around intending to return to the car.
Grab
This caused the youth who had spoken to repel him with hurt feelings to startle and grasp the hem of his trousers tightly.
“Phîi... bloody fucking... heartless... damned shit-lizard heartless.”
“I never said I was kind-hearted.” The young man crossed his arms and informed the youth who was sobbing heavily but could still curse him. The state of the boastful youth wiping his left and right hands caused him to sigh.
Grab
“Get in the car.” Pakin spoke flatly, grasping his arm and lifting him up, causing the selfish youth to agree to stand and enter the car, already distressed because he thought he would be abandoned here.
I believed Phîi Pakin would abandon me and not look back. This person could do it without a second thought, Graph thought.
“Why did Phîi... return?” The youth endeavoring to halt his tears inquired, causing the driver to merely roll his eyes.
“What would transpire if anyone discovered whose son you are... the son of a renowned politician sitting, begging on the roadside...” Pakin spoke only that, but the listener began to comprehend.
If news like that emerged, the one who would lose dignity is my Phô. And the one who abandoned me here, like Phîi Pakin, would also face difficulties, Graph thought.
That is all. Phîi only considers benefits. He does not care about me in the slightest, Graph thought.
The thought of someone who bowed his head silently, his heart still recalling the sensation of running after the car vividly. It felt within reach, but in a moment that desire drifted far away, compelling him to attempt to grasp it again. Though he knew attempting was futile, he still endeavored like a dim-wit youth.
“Why? Did you want me to say I was concerned about you?”
Thud
The youth who bowed his head silently received the words, causing the young man who was about to drive away to freeze. He turned to look, observing only the bowed head that was lowered so greatly he could not see the face. Only a trembling voice spoke out.
“I merely want Phîi to be concerned about me a little.”
Each time, Graph would argue, would display pride, would be boastful. Yet now he admitted it so readily, causing the listener to remain silent for a moment before turning to start the car.
An action that caused the speaker himself to feel distressed because he had hoped Phîi Pakin would say something, even if it was merely a deceptive falsehood. Yet Phîi only spoke...
“Do not hope for something I have no intention of granting.”
Having spoken thus, the entire cabin fell into silence. However, both knew each other well. In this silence, the sound of near silent sobbing emanated from Krittithee. Not wept aloud, but it was not as if his heart... could not weep.
Comments
Post a Comment