Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
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"Ask if you have something to ask. Staring like that, I cannot know what you are thinking."
"I... was not going to ask anything."
"Hmph."
Win laughed softly in his throat, conceding to close the magazine he was reading and toss it onto the glass table in front of him. Then he turned to look at the face of the junior he had just tutored. Just thinking about it was amusing. Who would have thought a defiant youth like this one could be so shy? And the young model did not consider himself a kind-hearted Phîi anyway.
Since the youth was embarrassed, he teased him even more, making the young man huddle in another corner of the sofa, hugging a cushion and raising his portable game console to cover half his face, as if he could hide his reddened cheeks from him that way.
Teasing, but also endearing.
"Alright, what do you want to ask?"
"Where did you go?" The young man opened his mouth a little, then closed it, before deciding to speak. The listener could guess he probably wanted to ask about something else more. But Phawit just smiled faintly, crossed his legs, and casually placed his hands on his knees. A posture that, if it were not for this man, would not be so appealing. Like this, it was just impossible.
"Were you lonely or something?"
"No way!" But the retorting question made the stubborn youth reply instantly, even though his red cheeks became even more deeply flushed.
"Why would I be lonely? There are plenty of people in the house."
"Really? I was only gone a few days... but it seems like it was several heavy days." Win shrugged as if he did not care, but in reality, after he had passed his threat through Panchai to his older cousin, saying he would burn down the entire showroom, no matter how brave he was to confront his elder relative, he was not suicidal enough to sit and wait for the other party to come after him at his place. So during that time, he had gone back to sleep at his own house.
Who would have thought that just being away for a few days would lead to so many incidents? And the one who ended up taking the brunt of it was none other than... this stubborn, lonely youth.
Calling him defiant, but who was the one being unpredictable and changeable?
"I did not say a single word about being lonely."
"Hmm, if you say so."
"Hey, do not make that sound, Win!"
"And what sound should I make?" The one who made a completely distrustful sound just lifted the corner of his mouth, making Graphic grimace. But he could not argue that he was not lonely.
Okay, these past few days Pakin had been home, but it was not the same as when Win was around.
The one who had helped him numerous times, to the point where he genuinely respected him as an Phîi. But being an only child, and with his parents indifferent, Krittitee admitted frankly that he did not know how to act. Just admitting that he wanted the other to stay here with him was something he could not even say out loud.
Seeing his expression, the other man did not press further, just beckoned with his hand.
"What are you going to do?" A question that made the listener roll his eyes and utter a single sentence...
"Do you want a beating more than a wash?"
Whoosh
That was it. The youth who had just let out a groan audible to the young model almost launched himself over to sit beside him, but still brought the cushion along. The observer smiled in amusement before pulling another cushion to place on his own lap, then ordered.
"Lie down."
"I do not... "
"You know I do not like people disobeying me."
Okay, Krittitee might be able to butt heads with a man who had the power to control hundreds, even thousands of people, but frankly, he did not dare even argue with this slender, beautifully-built model whom even women envied. He could only lay his head down on the cushion and look up at the man who picked up the remote to turn on the television.
Graphic still looked up at the one giving orders, wondering what this was about, why he had to lie here, but his heart felt good. Then a soft voice continued.
"From now on, I will come back to stay and keep you company."
"Really?"
"Hmph, do you see me as someone who likes to lie?"
And even though "No, I did not say that," Graphic quickly retorted, his lips curling up happily. He wanted to push away the hand placed on his head, ruffling it gently, but it felt too good to do that. Moreover, the slight awkward atmosphere from earlier had faded enough for him to speak up and ask.
"Win, can I ask you something?"
"Which one? I will answer if I can." Of course, someone like Pakin's Nong would not agree without knowing the question first. Meanwhile, the young man hesitated a little, then asked, his voice softening somewhat.
"When... when did you have sex for the first time?"
"Is that what you want to ask?"
"Hey! I am serious, man!" Seeing the person who was supposed to answer laughing as if it was not a big deal, the youth who had just recently lost his virginity said in a sulky voice, turning over to face the other way. The observer found it amusing.
All talk, when it was obvious he was embarrassed.
The question actually echoed in the listener's mind. Win himself did not like to think about it much either... even now, he did not know if the decision he made that day was right or wrong. But he agreed to answer.
"The day after my 18th birthday."
This time the listener turned to look with interest. It was clear he was really curious, making Win's voice laced with laughter.
"That is late, compared to Kin... "
"Ouch! I do not want to hear about that guy! I do not need you to tell me, I know he was messing around since his early teens." Graphic immediately interjected, making a move as if to cover his ears. It was obvious he did not want to hear it because it probably stung.
When Pakin had his first time, Graphic was probably still just a toddler.
"So why do you want to know about me?" Win asked in return, in a way that made the young man agree to answer without even looking at the other's expression.
"Because you seem experienced, I just wanted to know, that is all."
"Not very impressive, honestly."
Thud
Graphic might not be a youth who could read the atmosphere well, but the expression on Win's face when he mentioned this was so calm it was scary, making him fall silent. But the face of a certain someone who had drugged him flashed into his mind, making his two hands clench together tightly.
"Do not tell me Âi'nuisance Seen drugged you too!"
Smack
"Ouch! Win!" As soon as he finished speaking, the young model promptly smacked his forehead, making Graphic cry out in protest while the one who hit him laughed softly.
"Seen is not as bad as you think. Okay, he is bad, but not evil. At least, not as evil as another person... "
"Who?"
Thud
The young man just asked based on what he heard, but it made the one who was speaking hesitate himself, before shaking his head slowly.
"Nothing. Let us just say my first experience probably was not as physically painful as yours, Graphic, lying miserable on the bed for a week." Phawit said as if cutting off the conversation.
If Graphic had been a bit more attentive, he would have realized the speaker had accidentally emphasized the word "physically painful." Because that day, the physical pain was not as bad as the heartache of being rejected by someone else.
The thought made Win close his eyes for a second as if to compose himself, before changing the subject.
"I heard you went on a date. How was it?"
This time it was the defiant youth's turn to fall completely silent, looking dazed as if he did not know what to say, before mumbling just...
"If you do not count the racing incident... It was good."
A face like that meant it was more than just good.
"That is good." The young model said just that, as he gently stroked the short hair, before asking further, which made the one who had no one to vent to talk eagerly, not realizing that Win himself was trying to steer the topic as far away as possible from the question Graphic had asked.
Meanwhile, the smile of the person lying on his lap made Win smile faintly, even while his heart was asking itself:
If he had made the same decision as Graphic, would everything be different today?
***
By the time Pakin returned home again, it was already the new morning. His sharp eyes showed a thoughtful glint, thinking about the matter he had just dealt with. But a part of his mind involuntarily flashed with the face of that troublesome youth, making him feel genuinely irritated. And because he told himself he had to keep an eye on him, to prevent him from carelessly stepping on someone's tail, instead of staying outside, he took the time to drive back home.
He came back to see the person he was thinking of sleeping peacefully on his cousin's lap.
"Why is he sleeping here?"
"Because his owner would not come back."
"Win!"
Pakin called out in a strong voice, looking at his close relative who was irritating him. The one who was called just shrugged.
"I am just saying what I see."
"Hmph, I have not dealt with you about the last incident yet."
"Would someone like you, Pakin, hold a grudge over such trivial matters?"
This time the homeowner fell silent, before smirking. He did not say anything else besides walking closer to the sofa, looking at the youth who, even though he had been sleeping all afternoon, by the time it got dark, past one in the morning, had fallen asleep again with his neck bent, his head lolling.
He thought that if he arrived any later, he would have to call a worker to help carry him up. "Take him up to bed yourself, then. Go." The speaker said it simply, but his sharp eyes stared fixedly at his older cousin's face. Just seeing his eyebrow twitch slightly, the speaker felt satisfied enough to return the youth to his owner, but could not help adding.
"You should take better care of your youth."
"Why should I do that?" A question that made the two relatives look at each other in silence, and then Win just said one sentence.
"You probably do not want Graphic to end up like me, right?"
A single sentence that could silence someone like Pakin.
"Graphic and you are not the same."
"Where are we not the same?... In being rejected by someone we love."
Pakin fell silent again, looking at his cousin's faintly smiling face. But how could the Phîi not know that the memory of that day was still vivid in this younger cousin's heart? And that made the one who did not show much expression place a hand on his head.
He had not patted his younger cousin's head in a very long time, because Win... had grown so much since that day it was incomparable.
"You know I did not want it to turn out like this."
"In this matter, you are not the one at fault."
"Then should I blame myself for being wrong?"
This was one of the few times Phawit had no words to retort. He just tilted his head away from the large palm and said with a laugh in his voice.
"Go pat your own youth's head. He will die of loneliness, but he is stubborn." Win nodded towards the person on his lap. Pakin lowered his gaze to look at the person still sound asleep, even with voices talking nearby. Then he leaned down, his two hands reaching to lift the young man, who was definitely not light, but not so heavy that he could not carry one person.
Once the slender frame was in his embrace, Pakin said calmly, "You know, if you had not insisted that you were willing that day... Âi'Seen would have died by my hands long ago."
"I know." Win laughed, but his gaze relaxed a little. He remembered well how angry his cousin had been when he found out, to the point that if he had not insisted it happened willingly, the two close friends would have cut ties from that day onward... the day his Phîi was furious, almost crazy, but the other person just bowed his head in resignation.
And he never showed it, even to this day.
However, before the homeowner took the sleepyhead back upstairs, the young model spoke up first.
"Do not let Graphic act like me... take good care of your youth."
This time the listener did not reply. Pakin just stepped up towards the room, his sharp eyes thoughtful, and he looked down at the youth in his arms several times. A youth he still did not truly know where to place in his life, and in his future.
Of course, Pakin did not want this youth to follow in his cousin's footsteps... he was not suited to be that kind of worldly person.
The thought of the person who stepped into the room, placing the young man, who was probably sleep-weary, onto the center of the large bed, then tiredly sat down beside him. Then the young man took a deep breath to adjust his breathing, moving his neck slightly to relieve the stiffness, before his gaze fixed solely on the handsome, somewhat roguish face.
Now his anger had completely subsided and disappeared, leaving only a deep worry.
As he had predicted, they were starting to keep an eye on this youth.
"From childhood until now, you only cause trouble." Pakin said, sounding annoyed, in contrast to the large palm that touched his forehead to check his temperature, making sure the easily-sick youth did not have a recurring fever. But it did not stop at his forehead; it moved down to his eyelids, which had been red and swollen yesterday, shedding streams of tears while looking at him with fear.
Graphic had never been afraid of his power, but he was afraid of being abandoned.
In the end, the person who had been rejecting the young man's feelings all along said only...
"If you want to stay here, just do not be too defiant."
For now, Pakin allowed the defiant youth to stay by his side. But for how long... no one knew.
***
In the pre-dawn hours when the sun had not yet touched the horizon, only a soft light was spreading across the wide sky, waking all living things, big and small, to face the new day. One of them was the young man who did not know when he had fallen asleep, probably from the time Win started telling stories about photoshoots in Korea.
Usually, Graphic would sleep until Aunt Kaew came to wake him, but perhaps because he had slept until late afternoon yesterday and also fallen asleep early, today he woke up on his own, to find a strange warmth.
Plop
The moment he realized what the weight draped across his abdomen was, Graphic's eyes flew wide open. He turned slowly to look at the side to find the owner of the arm.
The person who was sleeping soundly on the pillow next to him, breathing in and out rhythmically and steadily. The young man could only ask himself when Pakin had returned, and how he had gotten up to sleep in the room. And if he was not thinking too wishfully...
Did Pakin carry me up?!
The thought made the cheeks of the clueless sleeper heat up. The heart that feared the other would abandon him felt as if sprinkled with cool water, feeling refreshed, invigorated, and encouraged. And it showed through the slow smile that spread. Two hands were placed on the arm very gently.
He must have come back late.
Thinking this, Krittitee slowly slid that arm down, quietly sliding himself off the bed. One, he did not dare wake him; two, he was afraid of that bloodthirsty gaze; and three, he was well aware that it was Monday and he had to go to school.
Many reasons that said... it was time to take a shower.
The young man, trying to be good, grabbed his school uniform, stepped into the bathroom, and quickly showered and dressed. Once ready, he looked at the clock, which said he still had a little time left before Aunt Kaew would come to wake him. So his two legs brought him back to stand beside the bed, looking at the person he was afraid to say was enough.
You have not abandoned me yet, right?
The worry showed on his face, and he himself knelt down beside the bed, placing only his two forearms and knees on the soft mattress, craning his neck to look at the sharp, intense face that, even in sleep, looked intimidating. Probably because of the dark eyebrows, the slightly downturned, cruel-looking lips, and that stubbly beard too, perhaps.
The thought made him slowly reach out his hand, touching the tip of the chin to feel the stiff stubble.
"Hmm."
Whoosh
Graphic pulled his hand back just in time when the person on the bed groaned low in his throat. His heart almost dropped to his ankles, so afraid the other would wake up.
What do you get for waking a sleeper besides being yelled at? And with a mouth like that.
The young man made a disgusted face. But because he rarely woke up early, he could not help reaching out his hand again, intending to touch his cheek, but...
"Do not be naughty."
Gasp!
"You... when did you wake up?!" Just two words spoken in a deep voice, even with eyes closed, made him startle violently, pulling his hand back just in time. He spoke rapidly, making Pakin lift the corner of his mouth slightly.
"Walk more quietly than this next time." The speaker opened his eyes, making the heavy-footed youth unable to argue.
"Going to school, right?" The other must have seen his school uniform, so he could only nod emphatically.
"Yeah. I will be late. You said yourself I have to go every day."
"It is good that you are behaving." The listener inclined his head slightly, then moved to get up from the bed.
"Are you not going back to sleep?"
"I will sleep later." Of course, Graphic did not understand. If he was going to sleep, then sleep; why get up to do what? But before he could even finish the thought, the large person leaned down to press a quick kiss on his lips, placed a hand on his head, and said only,
"You go down and eat breakfast first. I will come down soon." The warm touch pressed down on his head once more, before the room owner walked off bare-chested, yawning heavily, towards the bathroom, leaving the young man just standing there stunned, both eyes wide open, because...
What the hell did Pakin just do?!
A question that, even if he followed to ask, he probably would not get an answer, only be scolded for being annoying. So Krittitee could only walk dazedly, floating, down to eat breakfast, telling the head housekeeper that the other would come down later, making her frown.
"Young Master Pakin has not eaten breakfast at all." But she prepared it as told.
By the time Graphic finished his breakfast at lightning speed, the person who said he would come down soon appeared, dressed in long casual pants and a plain dark-colored t-shirt. It looked nothing like work clothes, and not the kind of clothes someone like Pakin would wear to handle business outside.
The person who just walked over and downed a whole cup of coffee in one go, then turned to tell the high school student simply,
"What are you looking at? Go on. After I drop you off, I can come back to sleep."
How many times had he been startled this morning? But... Pakin was going to take him to school? Someone like Pakin!
An action whose motive only Pakin himself would know... his cousin's warning had had more effect than expected.
Everyone's youth... needs care.
Even though Graphic had been sitting in the beautiful supercar for a while, and it was speeding through the morning traffic towards the famous high school, the young man still wore an incredulous expression that the easily-annoyed person would force himself out of bed, when it was obvious he had just gotten to sleep, and was yawning repeatedly, just to take him to school.
Did he eat something strange last night or what?
"Are you going to stare at my face much longer?"
"Well, you... uh, fine, I will not look."
He actually wanted to ask, but was afraid of being scolded for being troublesome, so Graphic turned to look out the window, letting the driver be the one to look over instead.
"What is wrong with me?"
"Can I even ask? If I ask, I will get scolded again. I am not asking anymore. I have learned my lesson now." Graphic did not mean to be sarcastic, but he could not stop his mouth in time. He braced himself, thinking he would definitely get something that would make him flinch. But no... it was laughter.
"Heh, good. Learned your lesson is good."
Yeah, you are always right, and I am always wrong, that is it.
Krittitee told himself with a sullen face, but his heart felt indescribably light seeing that the other was not angry with him like the other night. That night had taught him many things, one important thing being... he needed to think more before doing anything.
"Oh, and I have something to discuss with you. I am adding a rule."
"Huh!" The young man turned abruptly to look at the sharp, handsome face, exclaiming in confusion, trying to rack his brains to think what rules were in his head. Then he confessed honestly that he only remembered one.
Pakin is the fucking dictator rule, that is what.
"Making a face like that, are you cursing me?"
"No!"
When the driver asked, the listener quickly denied it, even though in his heart he said yes. Pakin ignored the grumbling mutter of the person next to him, just stepped on the accelerator to pass the vehicle in front, while announcing his safety prevention measures.
"From now on, you are forbidden from turning off your mobile phone. Keep the tracking app on too. Do not turn it off, even when you are in the house. So I will know where you are. And when you are going anywhere, both leaving the house, returning from school, or going anywhere at all, and when you get home, you must report it to me. If I do not answer, call Chai. If Chai does not answer, send a message. If I do not acknowledge receipt, I will consider that you have broken the rule, and I will punish you."
Hey, what kind of crazy rule is this?! Am I a prisoner or what!
The listener's jaw dropped, looking at the dictator who set the rule without even looking at the face of the one who had to comply, until he could not help but wonder if he was an 18-year-old high school student or a convicted murderer-rapist who had just been ordered by the court to be detained.
"Hey, but every time... "
"Do you understand?"
Can I not understand?!
Pakin turned to make eye contact for a split second, but it was a split second that showed he was serious, until the one who knew how scary the other was when angry just shut his mouth, not arguing as usual, and could only accept the words with a heavy voice.
"Understood!"
"Speak properly."
What do you want so much?!
Even though he was protesting loudly in his heart, in reality he could only agree.
"Understood... fine."
"There is no 'fine'. Only understood or not understood." The dictator emphasized again, making the one under his authority grimace, but...
"Understood."
"You speak to adults like this?"
Damn it!
"Understood... Khrap."
Finally, Pakin got what he wanted. Unlike the other person who was grinding his teeth in frustration, but had to hang his head in resignation, because he had told himself he would be obedient, even though an order like this made the stubborn person feel displeased.
He did not like it when Pakin ordered him around as if he were a servant. It was not like Win. Win would speak in a more pleasant tone, making him want to comply. But with Pakin, it was more like a commander ordering a subordinate. But what could he do? Since Graphic himself was in a period of self-awareness, telling himself he had to endure, must not be as emotional as before.
Meanwhile, the driver also clearly saw the displeased expression on the face of the imprisoned one, knowing he did not really want to be watched twenty-four hours a day like this. But the current situation could not afford to be lenient, so he had to say one thing.
"Who said you would not be defiant?"
"I am not being defiant at all."
"Then do not argue."
"I am not arguing."
"Then what is this?"
Argh!!!
The cornered youth could only clench his fists tightly. Now he understood why the moody one had agreed to bring him... he did not come to bring him, this was about giving orders! So he raised both hands to cross over his chest, breathing in and out slowly, trying not to respond to anything, besides looking out at the road ahead, where he saw they were nearing his school.
"So, before I step out of your vehicle, do I have to Line you immediately too?" The young man sarcastically asked to the fullest extent, in a way that
"Heh, that would be good."
Thud
Graphic did not know which he would rather see between the other making an annoyed face or this challenging, half-satisfied smile. He only knew that when the handsome face was adorned with a satisfied smile, the sharp eyes looked amused, and the deep voice sounded pleasant, the lump in his chest skipped a beat.
Is Pakin teasing me? Someone like him?!
"So I really have to do this?" Until the young man pulled out his mobile phone with a hesitant and disbelieving manner... Pakin laughed.
"Today is the first day. I will make an allowance for you."
Do not smile at me like this!
Graphic felt annoyed with himself that seeing a smile like this, a gaze like this, an expression like this, rendered him speechless. He could only put his phone back in his bag, tighten the strap of his backpack, and act unsure whether he should just get out now.
"Then I... I will go."
Click
However, before the slender figure could step out of the vehicle, a large hand grabbed his wrist first. The pair of sharp eyes looked into the flickering pupils. Then, Pakin asked again.
"Repeat the rules for me first."
"Uh, well... keep my phone on all the time, keep the app on too. And I have to report to you constantly, no matter where I go."
"The 'constantly' means... " The large person still would not let go, making Graphic speak haltingly.
"Well... every time I leave the house, go to school, leave school, arrive home, and every place I go. If I leave, I report. If I arrive, I report... Khrap." The young man did not forget to add the polite particle, and that elicited a satisfied smile from the older person, making his heart flutter uncontrollably.
He did not know if behaving well like this would earn him a smile like this as a reward, but Graphic was about to find out that the reward was not just a smile.
"Good."
Peck
"After school, be a good boy and go wait at home. I will hurry back to have dinner with you."
Suddenly, a warm touch pressed against his forehead, making the person who had almost never received gentleness from this man just freeze in astonishment. Especially with the deep voice that softened, separated by only a breath's distance, Graphic could feel the scorching temperature spreading from his forehead down to his fingertips. He could only look at the person who unexpectedly pulled back to sit behind the steering wheel.
The person who placed both hands on the steering wheel, tilted his head to make eye contact, letting the morning sunlight shine in from the side.
"You can go into school now, you troublesome youth."
Creak
Graphic did not say anything more, just opened the vehicle door and stepped out easily. Then he walked into the school like the other students. Only when he was sure the defiant youth had disappeared through the school gates did the beautiful vehicle drive away, while the driver had a small smile lingering on his lips.
He can be quite cute when he acts like this, huh.
***
At that very moment...
"Graphic! Graphic! Krittitee! Graphic, how are you?!"
Janjao, who had just gotten off a motorcycle taxi, saw his friend getting out of the luxury vehicle and immediately ran after the young man, calling out cheerfully, wanting to know how things went last Saturday. But the moment he jumped to block his path...
"Wah! Graphic, are you sick? Your face is so red! Graphic! Are you okay, Graphic?!"
Right now, no sound could reach Krittitee's head. Only the smile and gentle touch of a certain someone were imprinted in his brain, and... his heart.
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