Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
~~~
Despite expending so much energy, the young man could not sleep further, no matter how hard he tried to close his eyes. The damp sensation below roused Graph, making him slowly open his eyes and grimace slightly. Just shifting his body, he felt warm fluid trickle down his thighs. Clenching his buttocks only made it drip more, prompting him to pull away the arm draped over his waist.
“Bloody fucking sleeping comfortably alone,” Graph muttered.
Turning to look beside him, Graph grumbled as the larger young man, who had just tossed his shirt beside the bed, slept soundly. Lying on his side, Pakin’s muscular chest rose and fell rhythmically, signaling deep slumber.
A sight Graph had never seen, making him purse his lips.
If I am dreaming, I had better wake up soon, Graph thought.
Because if this dream is this good and I wake to Phîi Pakin chasing me away, I could not handle it, Graph thought. Graph never imagined he would be here, on the same bed, watching the young man he had chased for so long rest after their intimate activity. Especially sex… though he had fantasized about Phîi Pakin while pleasuring himself, those were just fantasies he thought could never come true.
Despite his earlier defiance, insisting he would not give in, Graph was secretly thrilled.
I know it is a long road ahead, but at least I am on par with those who spread their legs for him, Graph thought.
“But what am I to him?” Graph asked himself.
The question made the young man frown deeper, his eyes fixed on the sleeping Pakin. He wanted to reach out and touch the stubbled jaw but feared waking the wicked devil. He could not tell if Pakin would stay kind or turn crueler, breaking his heart again. The question lingered in his mind.
Graph admitted he had not thought about what came after sleeping together. Two weeks ago, if someone had said he would wake to Pakin straddling him, he would have laughed and said no way—a young man like Pakin would not bother with a screwed-up youth like him, ignored by his parents. But now that it happened… he could not think further.
Janjao had said sleeping together was like being lovers, and sometimes Graph wanted to be that optimistic. But reality was bloody fucking messier. If sleeping together made them lovers, would not that shit-lizard Phîi have hundreds of lovers?
Then there was Win, likely sleeping with Phîi Seen, but Win never called it a relationship.
So what am I? A bedmate, a sex friend, or just a toy for his desires? Graph thought.
Not pessimism, but Pakin’s cruelty made it hard to delude himself.
“Screw it, this is good enough,” Graph said, shaking his head to dispel the swirling thoughts. They vanished completely as he tried to step off the bed.
Sticky
Thud
“Shit!” Graph cursed. The sensation of fluid trickling down his thighs halted him, and he swore to mask his embarrassment. His pale cheeks burned hotter as he hurried off the bed to clean himself, but…
Whoosh
Bloody fucking weak legs! Graph thought.
This bad, huh? Graph thought. The moment his feet touched the floor, his knees buckled, barely catching the bed in time. An indescribable sensation at his rear made his face and neck flush red, utterly embarrassed by his own weakness. Just one round of sex, and I am this pathetic?
The more he thought, the more embarrassed he grew, baring his teeth at the sleeping Pakin before dragging his legs to the bathroom. Yet, Graph did not deny the bloody fucking happiness he felt.
Hard to believe, but Phîi Pakin’s return after a few hours erased a week’s loneliness, Graph thought.
A young man with too much influence over his heart.
After washing up and feeling much fresher, Graph stepped out of the bathroom in casual clothes, facing a problem… he did not know what to do.
It was not that he lacked ways to kill boredom. Graph was a youth who loved gaming, movies, and music. But with the room’s owner still asleep, all those distractions seemed pointless.
If I play games, I would have to go to another room, but… I do not want to miss this moment, Graph thought.
Yet he was too embarrassed to sit and stare at Pakin’s face.
“Where did you tire yourself out, huh?” Graph muttered, lingering by the bed, unable to ignore that even in sleep, Pakin’s calm face looked weary. The selfish youth felt a sudden urge.
I want to help him rest, Graph thought.
This prompted him to walk to the corner, pick up the phone, and dial downstairs.
“Kitchen,” a voice answered.
“Aunt Kaew, it is Graph,” he said.
“Do you want breakfast brought up, Khun Graph?” Aunt Kaew asked.
Graph did not notice why no one had woken him, despite the head housekeeper, Aunt Kaew, dragging him out of bed for breakfast and school lately. He asked uncertainly, “What should someone eat when they are really tired, Aunt Kaew?”
“Are you tired, Khun Graph?” she asked.
“No… not me,” Graph said, blushing slightly.
“Oh, or is it Khun Pakin? His eyes looked red this morning. Probably drank last night. Should I bring up a hangover drink? And does Khun Pakin want breakfast now?” Aunt Kaew asked politely, unlike Graph, whose cheeks burned, feeling caught sharing a room. He wondered if Aunt Kaew knew what they had done earlier… a thought that made him squirm.
Even if Aunt Kaew knew from last time, Graph thought.
“Uh, yeah, probably drank. I do not know, but bring it up… Can I eat up here too?” Graph asked hesitantly, as he had been summoned to the dining room since recovering. Aunt Kaew replied warmly.
“I will make an exception, Khun. Eat with Khun Pakin, alright?” she said.
Her teasing tone made Graph clear his throat. “Yeah, hurry up. I am hungry,” he said.
Actually, I am stuffed in a way I cannot describe, Graph thought.
Hanging up, Graph took a deep breath, trying to look normal, but a grin crept onto his face—embarrassed, shy, nervous, and inexplicably happy.
Try being with someone you have secretly loved for years, and you would act like this too, Graph thought.
To distract himself, he noticed a pile of clothes—his and the room’s owner’s. Normally, the messy youth would not care, but wanting to keep his mind busy, he walked over, tossing his pajamas into the hamper, then grabbing Pakin’s pants, shirt, and… dark underwear.
If Janjao knew, she would scream my ears off, Graph thought.
Holding up the underwear, his face reddened, recalling his best friend’s reaction last time. When Pakin left the room, Janjao shrieked, pounding the bed with slaps, startling another senior. She alternated between squealing and stifling herself, so excited she could barely breathe, her face flushed.
If it was not about me, it would be pretty funny, Graph thought.
He tossed the underwear into the hamper but paused before adding the shirt. Something caught his eye.
It was not noticeable when crumpled on the floor, but unfolding it…
“!” Graph’s eyes widened, his smile fading. His hands trembled holding the shirt’s sleeve. Moments later, he gripped it tightly, teeth clenched, eyes blazing with fury.
Whoosh
Suddenly, Graph stormed toward the sleeping Pakin on the bed.
Smack!
“Hey! What the hell?” Pakin exclaimed.
The thrown shirt might not hurt, but crumpled into a ball and hurled at Pakin’s face, its hem snapping loudly, it startled him awake. Sitting up, his sharp eyes flashed irritation at the interrupted sleep, his deep voice gruff.
Seeing who stood by the bed, Pakin asked sharply, “What the hell are you doing?”
Graph glared fiercely, fists clenched, trembling with rage, signaling intense anger. Pakin frowned.
“What is wrong?” Pakin asked. The question only fueled Graph’s anger.
“You are a shit-lizard!” Graph shouted.
His outburst stunned Pakin, whose annoyed eyes turned cold with displeasure. But it did not faze Graph, whose disappointment overpowered fear.
He shouted in Pakin’s face, “You sleep with those women, then come back to me? Why?!”
Thud
Pakin froze, surprised Graph knew. His eyes caught something, and he picked up the shirt, nearly groaning.
Makeup stains—not just a lipstick mark but smudged streaks showing intense embraces, plus eyeshadow and powder.
On a non-black shirt, they were glaringly obvious.
Pakin’s stunned silence made Graph… smirk mockingly.
“I am a dim-wit,” Graph said.
Mocking his own foolish joy at Pakin’s actions.
How could I believe sleeping with me meant he would not sleep with others? How could I fall for Janjao’s words? Graph thought.
Graph was furious at himself for dreaming things would improve, that they would align with his desires. Had he forgotten the young man he chased never stayed with anyone?
I have my answer. I am just a temporary bedmate, no different from the rest, Graph thought.
The realization burned his eyes, tears threatening to fall. He spun to bolt from the room.
“Where are you going?!” Pakin roared.
The shout halted Graph, who turned back to see Pakin leap from the bed, clutching the damning evidence.
Graph sneered, his calm voice failing to hide his pain and disappointment. “Anywhere without a shit-lizard like you,” he said.
“Graphic!” Pakin shouted, alarmed.
Graph ignored him, sprinting from the bedroom, down the stairs, past Aunt Kaew carrying food up, heedless of Pakin’s booming calls from the master bedroom. The head housekeeper, Aunt Kaew, exclaimed, “Where are you going, Khun Graph? What about breakfast…?”
“I am not eating! Give it to your damned nuisance boss!” Graph snapped angrily, sounding like a rude youth disrespecting an older person. But the household’s elder saw clearly… tears staining the rebellious youth’s face.
The young man realized he was not the only one but just one of many who had slept with the young man named Pakin.
Why? Why do I love a shit-lizard like him? Why?! Graph thought.
***
“Hey, want to skip, dude?” a voice called.
“Bloody fucking cur, inviting me to skip again,” came a reply.
“Are you in?” another asked.
“Haha, are you kidding? The east fence is my specialty,”
After the lunch bell rang, students trickled back to class. But a group of Mathayom 5 delinquents, experts at skipping, sneaked along the school’s back fence. Initially just wandering to avoid fifth period, when one suggested skipping, the others grinned eagerly.
If a friend suggests it and you do not join, they will say you're not a true friend…
They reached the target fence, exchanging silent glances, then… Crash
“Damned shit-lizard, who is that?!” one shouted.
“We are screwed!” another said.
They tossed their bags over the fence, but instead of landing normally, a yell from the other side made them freeze, debating whether to flee and abandon their bags or climb over and risk meeting a guard—or worse, a teacher passing by.
“Let us bolt!” one urged.
“Wait, that voice sounds familiar… Who is that?” another said.
“Damned shit-lizards, it is me!” Graph called.
“Which ‘me’? I do not know you…” one replied.
Smack!
“Do not be a dim-wit, it is obviously Graph’s voice,” a burly young man with a strong voice said, smacking his friend’s head and shaking his own at their stupidity. He climbed the fence, peering at the friend they had not hung out with much lately.
“Where have you been, man? Why are you dressed like that?” the young man outside the fence asked, noting Graph’s casual clothes, clearly not for school.
“I have nowhere to go,” Graph said, scoffing softly.
Since leaving the house, Graph only shuttled between school and that damned nuisance’s place. Fleeing in a hurry, the lousy driver insisted on dropping him at school. Graph slammed the car door with a bang and sneaked to the fence, knowing he would get called out in this state, just as his friends were planning to skip.
The answer made his friends grin.
“Sweet, let us skip together. We are going to the arcade,” one said.
“Then free booze at Gik’s place. Tomorrow, we will stumble to school trashed,” another added, poking his head beside Gak, who glared but soon nodded.
“Yeah, cool. My mom is out tonight. Let us get my dad to drink with us. Are you in, Graph?” Gak asked. Graph paused.
For weeks, he had been adjusting, trying to be a good youth as Janjao said Pakin would like. And what? He ended up just a whore in bed.
“Can I crash at your place?” Graph asked.
“Absolutely, buddy! But help me over, I am climbing,” a close friend from another class said, one leg over the fence. But…
“Hey, what are you guys doing?” a voice shouted.
“Damn it, your dad is here!” another exclaimed. Not the police, but the strict disciplinary teacher, the “dad” of high school youths. The climbers yanked their legs back, barely retreating into the school. Their bags lay scattered outside, trapping them.
Graph, who could have escaped, did something else.
“Catch, guys!” Graph shouted, tossing their bags back over the fence, leaving no evidence. But that meant he would not escape in time. As the last bag crossed, the disciplinary teacher reached him, face stern.
“Again, Graphic? Why are you not in uniform? Who were those others? To the disciplinary office, now!” the teacher ordered. Graph complied quietly, hearing whispers from the other side—“Sorry, dude”—but he did not care. As long as he had somewhere to go and something to distract him, he would follow anywhere.
Right now, even if Phîi Seen showed up, I would probably follow him easily, Graph thought.
When someone is heartbroken, having anyone by their side is enough.
“You stayed by the fence alone, huh? If you had climbed over earlier, you would not be caught,” a friend said.
“Do not blame me, who knew the teacher would show up that fast?” another replied.
“What will we get hit with? Not suspension, right? He has been good lately,” one worried.
“Turned bad because of us, huh?” another said.
“Bloody fucking cur, just figuring that out?” Janjao muttered.
Janjao was delivering assignments to a teacher when she overheard voices below. Peering down, she frowned, spotting Graph’s large group of friends passing by—the ones who got Graph suspended almost daily in Mathayom 4.
Better to cut ties with them, Janjao thought.
“What do you think Graph is going to get?” a friend asked.
Thud
“What?!” Janjao yelped.
Hearing Graph’s name in their talk startled her. The friends looked up, alarmed, then sighed in relief seeing who it was during class time.
“Graph’s Mia, huh? Do not scare us, Janjao,” one teased.
“What did you just say? Graph did not come to school, so how is he in trouble?” Janjao demanded, confused. The friends grinned awkwardly but explained.
“Graph was sneaking into school while we were sneaking out. The teacher came out of nowhere, and Graph tossed our bags back to save us. Now he is stuck in the cold room,” one said. Janjao fumed, glaring at each friend but, not close enough to confront, she spun and raced to the disciplinary office. She did not know if she could help, but she had to try.
If Graph gets suspended again, I will make him ditch these friends for good! Janjao thought.
“Who was trying to sneak out?” the teacher asked.
“I do not know, Khrap,” Graph replied.
“How do you not know? I saw them right there,” the teacher pressed.
“I really do not know. I heard them say to toss the bags back because they fell from the second-floor balcony,” Graph said.
“No way, the balcony is far from the fence,” the teacher countered.
“I do not know, Khrap,” Graph repeated.
No matter how the teacher probed, Graph stayed silent. If he did not talk, his friends would not get caught, and if he recalled correctly, they were one step from expulsion.
“Why did you come to school this late?” the teacher asked, shifting to another issue, making Graph even quieter.
Because a damned shit-lizard slept with me this morning, and I just found out I am one of many dim-wits he has slept with, so I ran, Graph thought, sneering at himself.
The truth burned his eyes, but the teacher mistook it for fear, softening his tone. “I am not scolding, just answer. You have been good lately…”
Knock, knock, knock
“Excuse me, sir,” a voice said.
“Excuse me, Khrap,” another added.
Before digging deeper, the disciplinary office door opened, and two students entered. They would have been scolded, but one was an honor student, the other a student council member, making the teacher frown curiously.
“Sir, I have something to report,” Janjao said.
“Wait a moment,” the teacher said.
“It is about Graph—I mean, Graphic,” Janjao said with a dry smile, glancing at her friend, who stared at his hands, refusing to look up, puzzling her. She nudged Night, the senior she had fetched from class. Night flashed a charming smile at the teacher, speaking smoothly.
“I am sorry for interrupting, Khrap, but this concerns my junior. I entrusted Graph with student council meeting documents. I was surprised he did not show this morning, but Janjao told me he is unwell. I was planning to request leave for an errand, and Graph must have forced himself to deliver the documents, only to get caught,” Night said.
If his older brother was a deadpan joker, Night could spin tales convincingly, impressing Janjao. She quickly added, fearing suspicion, “Graph messaged me to pick up the documents at the fence and said he would head back to rest. I did not see it, so the teacher found him first.”
If these were the skipping group, the teacher would not buy it. But these were the school’s pride, so he softened, eyeing the former troublemaker sitting silently. Looking closer, Graph’s red eyes suggested illness, making the story half-believable.
“So, what now? Attend class like this or go home…” the teacher began.
“I do not want to go back,” Graph interrupted.
Thud
The sudden outburst startled everyone, but Night quickly covered, “He does not seem well enough to go back, Khrap. Can he rest in the infirmary? I will take him home this evening.”
Hearing the trusted student’s words and learning Graph came in this state to deliver documents, the teacher nodded, secretly pleased. “I will let it slide this time, but no next time,” he said.
The honor students quietly sighed in relief.
Janjao did not hesitate to drag her friend out, thanking Night sincerely. Alone, she might not have convinced the teacher, but Night’s charm always worked wonders.
Good-looking, top student, athletic, wealthy—people believe anything he says. If Graph studied hard and stayed out of trouble, he could be like Night, Janjao thought.
“Thank you so much for helping, Phîi Night,” Janjao said.
“No problem. For your friend, I am happy to help,” Night said, smiling genuinely. But Janjao frowned, disapproving.
“Do not say that, Phîi Night. People might misunderstand,” she said.
An iron wall on all sides, Night thought.
Smiling wryly, Night pivoted to avoid troubling her. “I just want to help… and Graph too,” he said. But this made Janjao scowl harder, pulling Graph further away for some reason.
Their exchange went in one ear and out the other for Graph. Halfway down the hall, his long legs stopped, making Janjao turn, confused, then widen her eyes in shock.
Because…
“Why is Graph crying?” Janjao exclaimed. Tears streamed down her handsome friend’s face, alarming her. His red eyes radiated pain, making her suspect trouble with Phîi Pakin. She rubbed his shoulder to comfort him.
No way, I thought he skipped class because he was tired from… that, Janjao thought.
Guessing correctly but lacking details, she panicked, trying to console him. The youth others saw as a troublemaker stood crying, wiping his face with the back of his hand. Janjao scrambled for tissues to help.
“Do not cry, Graph. It is okay. I am here, Graph. You have got me,” she said.
Grab
“Eek!” Janjao yelped, startled, then wrapped both arms around her friend without hesitation when he pulled her into a hug. Janjao knew Graph meant no harm—he just needed comfort, and she was ready to give it.
Trembling, he muttered… Their bond was pure friendship, untouched by romance. Janjao hugged him without reservation, her heart aching for the taller youth shaking in her arms.
“It hurts so much, Janjao… it hurts,” Graph said.
“Do not cry, Graph. It is alright. I am here,” Janjao said.
The close friends embraced, but to an onlooker… it nearly brought him to his knees.
They said they are just friends! Night thought.
Night clenched his jaw, wanting to tear the juniors apart but, as an outsider, could only turn away, fists tight, ensuring no one saw the overly dramatic scene that might land them back in the disciplinary office. Yet he… wanted to cry too.
Janjao, please notice I like you. Look at me, please, Night thought, sighing.
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