Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
~~~
This morning, the atmosphere inside the large mansion was gloomy and so stifling that no one dared to move a muscle. It was so intense that even breathing was difficult, as every pair of eyes kept glancing at the young master sitting at the head of the table. The man was sitting quietly reading documents, but the aura emanating from his body was icy, terrifying, and dangerous.
Right now, only a few people dared to speak up, and one of them was…
“Khun Pakin.”
“What is it?” The head housekeeper stepped close. The young man replied flatly, not bothering to look up.
“It’s about Khun Graph”
Thud
The person who had been sitting still flinched for just a split second, but how could his younger cousin, who had come down for breakfast today, not see it? Before Pakin asked in an even tone,
“What about him?”
“Khun Graph refuses to come out. It’s already past school time. No matter how many times I knock and call, he doesn’t answer. I had a servant bring breakfast to his room, but he wouldn’t open the door.” Aunt Kaew reported with a concerned expression, hoping the young master would do something, at the very least permit someone to open the door. But
“Leave him be. If he wants to lock himself in his room, let him.”
“Khun Pakin!”
“Why?” The young man looked up to meet the head housekeeper’s eyes, who had cried out in shock, unable to believe that the man who tolerated her awful cooking could be so cruel to another youth.
“If he doesn’t want to come out, that’s his business. If he wants to skip school, that’s his business too.”
The listener could only fall silent, sighing softly as she looked at the young master who seemed calmer than usual but could say nothing except politely utter,
“I’ll excuse myself back to the kitchen.”
Aunt Kaew stepped out of the dining room. But Pakin still didn’t move, not even glancing up towards the second floor where the other youth was locked in his room, and had no intention of being a good guardian by dragging the truant youth out, throwing him into a car, and taking him to school. This made the person who had been sitting silently speak up.
“You think you’re doing the right thing, don’t you?”
Snap
The listener sharply turned his gaze to the person sitting eating while playing on his phone. Phawit also looked up to meet his gaze, and gave a coldly-aloof smile.
“You think doing this will keep that youth away, don’t you?”
“” The listener still didn’t answer, which made Win ask in a consistently even tone.
“And who do you think you’re keeping that youth away from? Phîi Seen or yourself?”
“I have no obligation to answer you.” The listener himself smiled coldly-aloof no less. But the young model didn’t expect an answer from his Phîi anyway, just spoke on as if murmuring to himself.
“Well, if you say so, let's just say I’m thinking, Kin. I’m thinking about how history seems to be repeating itself somehow.” Saying this, Win glanced towards the corner of the room where someone was standing waiting to receive work from the young master, then turned back to look at the person whose jaw was unconsciously clenching tighter.
“The more you pretend not to know, the more that youth will follow in my footsteps.”
“Bloody fucking shit-lizard! Nonsense!” Pakin said sharply, making the person who was trying to provoke his cousin smile slightly.
“It might be. But the more you push him away, the more he will pull himself towards you, by any means necessary. And it’s possible he might resort to the same method I did. Well, you like capable people, don’t you?” Win raised an eyebrow slightly, laughing softly in his throat when he saw he had successfully provoked the man in front of him, before concluding.
“Do you like people who are good in bed, or are you just trying to deny that you want someone innocent?”
Slam!
“Phawit!” Instantly, a large hand slammed down on the table with a loud noise, making the maid jump. But the provocateur continued to sit sipping his coffee quietly. His handsome face was adorned with a faint smile because he wouldn’t say anything more. What he needed to say was finished. The rest was up to his older cousin.
Would he keep trying to push that youth away, or would he pull him back himself?
The expression of the younger cousin made the onlooker clench his fists until his knuckles were white. But after a moment, the sharp face was adorned with a coldly-aloof smile. He grabbed the suit jacket draped over the chair back, slung it over his shoulder, and walked past Panchai, who bowed slightly, intending to follow. However
“Just like master, like subordinate always presuming to know what others are thinking.”
Thud
The stern-faced man paused for a moment, then followed behind Pakin. Phawit looked up at the ceiling, his tense shoulders relaxing slightly, thinking about his own past.
“You’re still very young, Khun Win. I think when you’re older, you’ll understand what love is.”
“It’s like seeing my own past.” The young model shook his head slowly, then looked towards the stairs to the second floor.
Really, he also wanted to know if Graph would make the same decision he did
It remained to be seen.
Graph didn’t know what this feeling was hurt until numb or hurt until callous.
It didn’t feel anything.
The young man closed his eyes while still curled up in bed, his mind only replaying the images from last night. Even though he was angry, he knew he had disobeyed orders. It was no surprise that a control freak like Phîi Pakin would be angry. But Graph never really thought he would be kissed like that. Most importantly the words that hurt him so unbelievably.
All along, Graph had truly tried to give up, but he never could. Because just receiving a little kindness, his heart would fight back. He still believed, deep down, that Phîi Pakin was still kind to him, still fond of him. Otherwise, he would have thrown him far away long ago.
But last night everything crumbled before his eyes.
The gaze, the tone, and the words from that person’s mouth told him that everything up to now was all in his imagination.
Shit-lizard! Caring? You’re daydreaming, you damned Graph. He’s just afraid of getting into trouble himself. No matter how hard you try, he will never want you.
The thought made the young man touch his own lips, feeling a sharp pain at the corner of his mouth. His eyes remained tightly shut because the violent touch from last night returned once more. And then he got angry at himself so angry he wanted to kill himself. Shit-lizard why do I still yearn for Phîi Pakin’s touch?
If I were better at this, would Phîi pay attention to me? Graph thought.
Graph hated that he was like a boat without a sail. Whenever a mad wave like Pakin blew in any direction, he could only float along that direction as if he had no brain of his own.
Thump!
“Stop thinking about it, you damned Graph! Stop thinking about it for once!” Krittithee punched the pillow with full force, closed his eyes tightly, and threw off the blanket, revealing his messy hair and weary face. Most importantly his sunken eyes were both dry and filled with the pain he had just recently received.
“To hell with Phîi Pakin!” The young man shouted loudly as he sprang up, went to shower and get dressed, changing into his school uniform because he wanted to get out of here. Even if he got called to the principal's office, he didn't give a bloody fucking damn. He just wanted to get out of this cursed house.
The thought of the impulsive person rushing downstairs made the person who had been sitting and waiting speak up.
“Where are you going, Graph?”
“Phîi Win.”
Thud
The face that turned to look made the young model stand up immediately. He took long strides over, then grabbed his chin to lift it for a clear view.
“Sigh.” The expression and look in Graph’s eyes showed he’d been through a lot, making the onlooker sigh heavily, taking in both the red, bruised eyes and the battered lips.
Well, he knew what Graph had encountered yesterday.
Heh, taking your emotions out on a youth like this isn’t worthy of an older brother especially touching his youth like this.
The thought of someone who suspected his Phîi was losing patience more and more. From what he’d heard, Pakin never touched this brat. But just thinking he might slip out of sight, he punished him until his lips were bruised and battered like this.
“What did he say?”
The ‘he’ undoubtedly referred to no one else, making Graph bite his own lip until it hurt.
“Phîi Win” The young man didn’t know why, but he felt Phîi Win understood this feeling. The hardened youth called out in a trembling, choked voice, suppressing the tears that refused to fall last night, hurting his entire chest. Even though he didn’t want to talk about it, he ended up pouring it out.
“I have no hope, Phîi no hope He said my kiss was pathetic, that he’d never want me Phîi Shit-lizard, I hate him! I hate him!” Graph said shakily, gripping the other’s sleeve tightly, showing a vulnerability that pained him. And that made Win decide.
Pat
The young model pulled the other youth’s head onto his shoulder, patting his back lightly as if comforting him without any words. But he understood this feeling well.
Shit-lizard! If this brat decides to take the same path as me, I hope you won’t regret it that day.
“Mmph Hng N-no I can’t”
“Breathe through your nose. You can’t even handle a kiss like this, you’ll just get scolded by him again.”
“But your kiss isn’t like…”
“Like some demon’s kiss?”
This afternoon, no worker in the mansion dared to walk past the living room by the swimming pool because the young master’s Nong had ordered it. Moreover, the scene unfolding made many who wanted to snoop, but were too afraid, flee as far as possible. The image of Khun Win kissing Khun Graph.
An image that, if the homeowner saw it, the workers couldn’t predict the young master’s reaction.
Whether calm or furiously angry... no one dared to face Pakin’s emotions head-on.
Meanwhile, Phawit, the young model, was gazing at the flushed face of the young man his older brother claimed to be temporarily caring for. Krittithee’s face was strikingly handsome, cheeks burning red, glossy lips shimmering with moisture, eyes faintly red, and breathing heavily as if he had no experience with kissing at all, despite being 18 years old.
The sight made Phawit smile faintly, as even he could feel it.
That stubborn young man of Phîi’s is this attractive.
As for why Phawit had kissed Graph...
“Phîi Win, what’s it like to kiss on the mouth, bloody fucking hell?” Krittithee asked.
“Want me to teach you?” Phawit asked, prompting Krittithee to look at him with startled eyes. But the distressed expression shifted to one of curiosity and interest. What started as a playful jest turned serious for Phawit. So, after ensuring the young man, who hadn’t eaten since the previous evening, had something to eat, and after calling a close friend whose phone was practically burning with missed calls about skipping today, the two ended up in this living room... to teach Krittithee about kissing.
In truth, Phawit saw hesitation in Krittithee’s eyes. But when Krittithee touched his bruised, cracked lips and clenched his jaw, it told Phawit that Graph was following in his footsteps, step by step.
The more I’m pushed away, the more I wonder why I can’t do it, Krittithee thought.
Phawit had been accused of not understanding love, so he chose to prove otherwise. Similarly, when Graph was told he was no good, If I prove I’m good enough, will that other person notice me? Krittithee thought.
Is Phîi pushing me away, or trying to pull me closer? Phawit thought.
The young model pondered this as his fingertips brushed Krittithee’s soft lips. Phawit wasn’t one to pursue youths, but sometimes, if it meant making someone understand something easily, he might be willing to try sleeping with this young man.
Intriguing, Phawit thought.
The thought of the person caressing the lips, gently stroking the split wound, as he bent down lower, made Graph startle slightly.
Smooch
Gasp!
Krittithee actually gasped in shock when the model's pretty lips pressed against his. They pressed softly then pulled away slightly. He was both scared and apprehensive, but calm.
Phîi Win’s kiss is completely different from Phîi Pakin’s, Graph thought.
What he received from Pakin was violence, savagery, a crushing force that shattered his heart, yet it was scorching, fierce, making his heart pound rapidly with excitement mixed with yearning. But Phîi Win’s kiss was soft, deep, much gentler with him. It was the kiss he had always wanted from that other person, but it didn’t excite him. On the contrary it was indescribably calm.
The pain from being hurt was incredibly relieved.
“Open your mouth.” The young man had sworn he would never do this with anyone else except the person he had always loved. However, his resentment, his anger, and his desire to win pushed his lips apart. Both hands gripped his own shirt tightly as Phîi Win’s hands cupped his cheeks.
The touch was deeply thrilling, but Graph only felt curiosity.
Meanwhile, that attractive expression made Phawit smile slightly. He tilted his head a bit before pressing his lips against them again, knowing well how to guide this youth. His warm tongue tip thus slipped into the warm mouth, licking from the palate, the teeth, then moving to the soft tongue tip
“Mmm” Graph seemed to resist, but the person who knew both passionate kisses, fleeting kisses, and arousing kisses was calm enough to rub his tongue tip against his, twining and enticing Graph to gradually respond uncertainly.
“Mmph.” Of course, Win didn’t let the opportunity slip. He changed the angle of the kiss, sending a hand to gently stroke the young man’s back arousingly while delivering an even hotter kiss. Even kissing like this, Phawit knew the other youth was inexperienced and had to take it slow. But his cousin, who was so skilled at seducing countless people into bed, was that violent.
Heh, then you’ll regret it, Kin.
“Mmph Hng” The young man began to move his hands to grip the back of Win’s shirt, holding on tightly as he ran out of breath again. But he didn’t pull away, thinking only one thing.
If Phîi wants someone who can kiss properly, I’ll show him I can be! Graph thought.
The pliant state made Win himself not hesitate to push the slightly taller youth down onto the sofa, forcing his scorching breath upon him until he sensed the young man was about to break. He intended to pull away slightly and start over.
However, “What are you doing!”
A very stern voice rang out from the entrance, making Graph turn to look in shock, and see the large man who had just left this morning.
The person was looking over with a gaze so icy it was chilling. That made the youth gasp. No matter how angry, displeased, and hurt he was by what the other had done, the habit of caring for this person more than anyone else made him stammer.
“It’s not what you think!”
“And what should I think?”
“Well, Phîi Win and I…”
“Whatever you and Win do is none of my business.”
Thud
The person trying to explain froze instantly at the level-tone. Moreover, those well-shaped lips curled into a smile, a smile that said he didn't care even if he was doing something with someone. His slender body shot up to stand straight, facing the malicious man who stared back with an indifferent gaze.
“So whatever I do is my business, right?” Graphic looked at him steadily, then responded.
Meanwhile, Win saw clearly the young man’s two hands clenched tightly together. His lips lifted into a faint smile as he turned to look at his cousin, who remained standing still. But why come home at a time like this?
Some people might feel remorse and come home to appease the youth, but he just got irritated first.
“Since you say that…”
Snap
Suddenly, Phawit had to widen his eyes when the youth, whose heart had been hurt over and over, rushed towards the other person standing quietly. He grabbed his collar before the other could react, and then warm lips quickly pressed down, making the onlooker almost unable to stop himself from restraining him just in time.
Snap
“What do you think you’re doing!” The image of the youth grabbing Panchai’s collar to kiss him made the one who had been calm all along grab him by the forearm and yank him towards himself, asking in a very stern voice. Graph smiled as if about to cry.
“Didn’t you say whatever I do is my business!”
The expression made the furiously angry young man pause. He looked into the tear-filled eyes and gritted his teeth.
“Come here!” Pakin grabbed his forearm and dragged him out of the room with such force that Graph almost flew along.
Until only two people remained, equally shocked. It seemed Phawit regained his composure first, as his slender figure stepped forward to stop in front of Panchai, and smiled wickedly.
Peck
“In the end, you couldn’t refuse my kiss.” Slender fingers touched the lips covered by a beard, stroking from one side to the other, smiling contentedly at the person who had rejected him for years but had just received a kiss from Graph, who had just received one from him. Then the young man stepped out of the room as if feeling triumphant.
Even though in his heart, Phawit was telling himself
If I had even half of Graph’s courage it would be good.
“Let me go! If you don’t care about me, then let me go, shit-lizard!”
On Pakin’s side, after dragging the other youth out of the room, the one who had just regained his composure was protesting. Both hands tried to break free from the grip, but it was no different from last night. No matter how he pulled or struggled, he couldn’t break free from the iron clamp until Graph decided…
Whap
“Ouch!”
The youth kicked the other’s leg immediately, making Pakin cry out involuntarily. His sharp eyes turned to look in fury. But what he saw was a tear-stained face that he had always told himself was annoying, but now made his anger subside.
Graph’s tears now weren’t from anger, but from sadness.
A sadness that the young man had always told himself he didn’t need to care about, but now found he couldn’t ignore as usual.
Really, what happened last night disturbed him so much that Pakin couldn’t just sit and work anymore. Whenever he stopped handling the documents that needed to be dealt with today, the image of eyes glistening with teardrops, filled with extreme shock just from a single kiss, made him clench his fists, throw his pen down in anger, and decide to return home.
Even though he intended not to touch this brat, now he had violated his own taboo.
Shit-lizard! You knew it would be troublesome, so why couldn’t you control yourself?
The thought of the person gripping the other youth’s wrist tightly, looking into the stubborn eyes he always told himself were annoying. But the gaze that seemed like it would shatter like cracked glass at the slightest touch made him grit his teeth. He pushed the stubborn youth until his back was against the wall, then said in a strong voice.
“Graph, I have something to tell you.” Pakin thought this was the best way at least for him.
“Go home.”
Thud
The words made the listener’s eyes widen in shock. The hands struggling for freedom fell to his sides because Graph never thought he would be rejected again.
Shit-lizard! What the hell does he see me as? Wants me to stay, so he brings me here. Gets annoyed, so he throws me out. What the hell does he see me as!?! A question the young man wanted to ask aloud. But all he could manage were clear droplets about to fall from his eyes. He didn’t even have the strength to lift his hand to wipe his face, could only stare at the other speechlessly.
The expression made Pakin almost avert his gaze. But he had decided maybe staying close to him was more dangerous than those outside.
“Graph, listen...”
“I won’t listen!”
But the moment the young man was about to use reason over emotion, the other youth, who had always wanted a reason, shouted loudly. He stepped back as if flinching away, shaking his head violently like someone whose heart had already shattered. The onlooker instinctively grabbed his wrist tightly.
"Graph"
Then…
“Heard you were talking about a youth, so I came to see this youth. Quite attractive, huh?”
Thud
But then, Pakin had to freeze when a familiar voice came from the entrance. His sharp eyes, which had softened, gleamed dangerously as he turned to look at someone standing there smiling.
“You damned shit-lizard, Seen!”
Snap
The heartbroken person turned to look immediately. And Graph finally got to see the man everyone talked about. A tall man notable for his broad smile indicating a good-natured person. His sharp eyes were looking this way with interest, mixed with amusement as if he’d found something good. Meanwhile, the large frame was dressed casually in a dark T-shirt and jeans, yet was so attractive that anyone would glance over. Not just because of his tall build and very good looks, but probably because of the smile a handsome smile that could easily make anyone fall into this man’s trap.
The person who walked in as if unaware of the strange atmosphere between his friend and the other youth, also spoke up.
“What’s up, man? Long time no see. You called and hung up immediately; I didn’t even get to talk.” The newcomer stepped to stand beside his friend, who was suppressing his irritation, hiding all his feelings towards the other youth, then turned to face his friend.
“I’m not as free as you.”
“Ouch, that hurts. Sounds like you’re calling me unemployed.”
“If you’re not free, you can go back to work.” The words made Seen laugh loudly, then shake his head as if exasperated that his close friend didn’t know his affairs.
“Hey, my work starts after sunset. I woke up early because I thought my friend was in trouble. But is this how you greet me, Khun Pakin?” The good-humored man said, but his eyes glanced over at the other youth with interest.
A gaze that made Pakin himself move to block Graph.
“So what business do you have?”
“I told you, came to see the youth. Oops, seems I misspoke.” However, the sharply gleaming, icy cold eyes made the person who knew his friend’s nature well raise his hands to shoulder level, also shrugging slightly as if to say, I’m not provoking you for fun.
“About work. I came to borrow a bit of your dark influence. But now…” Then the person who said he didn’t want to get hurt pushed his friend’s shoulder away.
“Hello, Khrap. My name’s Seen. What’s your name, huh?” The good-humored man moved to meet the eyes still moist with tears, making the onlooker his eyes gleamed.
Interesting.
Snap
“I don’t have much free time. If you have something, let’s talk in the study.” But before the unprepared person could answer the question, Pakin grabbed his friend’s shoulder and pulled him in another direction. But how could Seen not be fast enough?
“Wait a second, man. I haven’t finished greeting him yet.”
A large hand reached out, taking Graph’s stunned hand and shaking it gently, then he winked.
Heading towards the study. “You can come see me anytime, okay?”
Something was quickly shoved into the young man’s hand. The homeowner didn’t know about it because the person who had been trying to keep the other away from this brat all along pulled his arm and said, “We’ll talk later.”
The young man said only that, leaving Graph standing still like an idiot who didn’t understand anything, until he clenched his fist, the object in his hand almost cutting into his skin.
“What the hell is this all about!” Once he regained his composure, Krittithee swore in anger and sadness. Most importantly he felt hurt.
Why? Just because a friend came, this damned Graph is no different from a display item, is he?
The person who had just been kicked out of his house bit his own lip until it hurt, hurting to steady himself, until he realized he was holding something. When he looked down
A silver card.
“It looks like Phîi Win’s.”
Yes, this card looked like the one he saw Phîi Win use to enter that club. The person full of suspicion and sadness until he was almost shattered clenched it tighter.
At this moment, Pakin had no idea he was pushing a certain youth to the very edge of a cliff.
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