Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
~~~
This morning marked the third day Krittithee had taken refuge in this house. He was not accustomed to eating breakfast with others, particularly with Pakin, who, at this hour, should still be asleep. Thus, the youth, having come downstairs since six in the morning, sat stiffly, his cheeks flushed.
The events of the previous day remained vivid. The sensation of touch lingered on his ankle, rendering the usually sharp-tongued youth suddenly mute. Consequently, Krittithee ate his breakfast quietly, occasionally glancing at the man who descended wearing only long sleeping shorts.
“Later today, Panchai will bring a driver for you,” Pakin said.
“Hmm,” Krittithee responded.
Meanwhile, Pakin observed the unusually quiet youth who responded compliantly, wondering if the house cook had slipped something into his food.
“How’s the wound?” Pakin asked.
“It’s better,” Krittithee replied. The man inquired casually, as a guardian might, and the youth answered obediently, prompting Pakin to frown sharply.
Today, this youth was unusually well-behaved, which was good.
“And don’t get yourself hurt again. You’ve been in my house two days and gotten wounds both days. Don’t come back with another today,” Pakin said wearily, then recalled something. “Oh, speaking of this… who permitted you to enter my room?”
Guk
Krittithee flinched inwardly but tried to conceal it. Although he had learned from the head cook that the other man was a Nong—a close cousin—he could not deny sneaking into the room of the man before him. His excuse…
My friend told me to do it… dim-wit, Graph.
“Uh… I… that is…” The typically boastful youth was speechless, lowering his head to stare at the half-eaten appetizing breakfast, his mind racing for an excuse until his brows nearly knotted. He had no plausible justification beyond admitting he had pranked by entering the homeowner’s room.
Pakin’s cold smile matched his equally cold tone. “Don’t let there be a second time. And I won’t warn you again,” he said.
“But that guy can still go in!” Krittithee retorted, unable to resist arguing once warned.
“That guy you mean is my Nong,” Pakin replied.
“He’s just a cousin!” Krittithee countered.
Once he had something to argue about, Krittithee reverted to his usual self, speaking stubbornly. Though aware their status differed, he felt hurt that the man who acted superior could enter Pakin’s room freely, while he was forbidden even to show his face.
Anyway, I hate that guy’s guts, Krittithee thought.
His thoughts reflected on his face, and Pakin was about to respond when…
“I’m back,” Phawit announced.
Guk
The subject of their gossip stood with arms crossed in the doorway, causing Krittithee to turn sharply. Initially shocked that Phawit overheard, he grew angry upon seeing his face, pouting and resuming his breakfast, praying Panchai would bring the damned driver soon.
Seeing his face ruins my appetite, Krittithee thought spitefully, unlike Phawit, who raised an eyebrow slightly and approached the chair where Krittithee sat.
Thump
“Hey! Don’t touch me!” Krittithee exclaimed, startled when his chin was suddenly lifted to meet sharp eyes, made sharper by Phawit’s precise eyeliner, hinting at a night spent out. His beauty was not feminine but that of a sexy man, likely captivating to many men.
A charm Krittithee could never hope to emulate, no matter how hard he tried.
Piaek
Phawit remained unfazed by the swatted hand. Instead, he said, “You cried hard, didn’t you?” Though others might not notice, Phawit saw the redness under Krittithee’s eyes, which he could conceal but the youth could not, revealing yesterday’s distress. He sighed deeply.
“Sorry, I played too rough yesterday,” the young model said, prompting Krittithee to narrow his eyes suspiciously.
I'm the grudge-holding type. I won’t forget what that guy said to my face yesterday, Krittithee thought.
“In a better mood now?” Pakin asked simply, offering a slight smile, prompting his younger cousin to casually sweep back his shoulder-length hair, revealing a face more fatigued than yesterday.
“Hmm. Sorry to you too, Phîi. Yesterday I was so irritated I took it out on everything,” Phawit replied.
Krittithee couldn’t follow their conversation. He saw no reason for Phawit to be irritated; he only seemed to enjoy making him feel inferior. Phawit seemed aware of this, glancing at the clock before telling his older cousin, “I’ll take Graph to school myself later.”
He waved his hand, prompting Krittithee to exclaim, “Hey!” and shake his head vigorously, indicating he’d rather go alone than let this damned nuisance drive him. However, Pakin merely gazed at his cousin briefly.
“Take him wherever you want… You can drive in Thailand, right?” Pakin asked.
“I went out last night and still made it back,” Phawit replied.
This permission prompted Phawit to seize Krittithee’s shoulder and pull forcefully. Though Krittithee wanted to protest loudly, Pakin’s words silenced him: “Let him take you, before I get a worse headache.” Krittithee grabbed his backpack irritably, acknowledging that, as Phawit claimed, he could make Pakin yield.
Yeah, indulges his pretty Nong. But with me, he doesn’t have a shred of kindness! Krittithee thought bitterly.
His spiteful mood made him shake off Phawit’s grip, but he reluctantly stomped to the building’s entrance where a luxurious car awaited. Krittithee vowed that if he heard anything offensive, he’d retort without sparing anyone’s feelings.
His evident displeasure amused Phawit, who thought, This youth is cute because he shows exactly how he feels.
Though the luxurious car had been on the road for over ten minutes, only the GPS’s directions filled the passenger compartment. Krittithee began to feel uneasy. He had felt uncomfortable with Pakin before, but that was mostly frustration at his own powerlessness. With Phawit, however, the atmosphere felt chillingly terrifying.
Phawit, wearing sunglasses, focused on the road, allowing Krittithee to observe his attire closely: designer shirt, luxury pants, high-end accessories on wrists, fingers, and ears, all perfectly coordinated. This man dressed with a terrifying flair, knowing precisely how to draw attention.
“It’s hotter here than in Seoul,” Phawit remarked, removing a stylish black patterned scarf and tossing it to the back seat, revealing numerous love marks on his shoulder.
“This? …Last night I met an old friend, so we played a bit hard,” Phawit said, noticing Krittithee’s gaze and smiling as the youth turned to the window, his pale cheeks visibly reddening. This suggested the handsome youth, who likely charmed many girls, was merely an innocent little one.
Was I ever a youth like this? Phawit, only 23 but seasoned by experience, thought, smiling mockingly at himself.
“So now I’m in a better mood than yesterday,” Phawit added.
“What does that have to do with me?” Krittithee asked through gritted teeth, still angry, prompting a soft laugh from Phawit.
“Because I was in a bad mood, you became my victim,” Phawit replied.
“Victim?” Krittithee asked, his face puzzled, prompting Phawit to explain half-seriously.
“Yesterday I was frustrated and hadn’t released it, so I took it out on you. Seeing juniors, I can’t help teasing them until they cry,” Phawit said.
“Are you a youth too or something?” Krittithee snapped, unaware he was using honorifics comfortably, making Phawit smile faintly. The eyes behind the sunglasses, however, held no mirth as he responded.
“That’s right. Sometimes I’m an older person in a youth’s body. When I don’t get what I want, I throw tantrums like a little one… But last night I released it all, so now I feel guilty and want to atone,” Phawit said, turning with a kind older cousin’s smile, masking something inadvertently revealed, unlike the evil person from yesterday. Krittithee struggled to keep up with his mood swings.
“Last night wasn’t anything. It’s just that Pakin sleeps without clothes, so he doesn’t like anyone meddling in his room. As for me, I came back tired, and when I was pulled to sleep, I took off some clothes… Even if I’m easy, I wouldn’t do it with my own older cousin,” Phawit explained.
Suddenly, Krittithee couldn’t stay angry. He wasn’t sure if it was the sincere apology or the clear explanation. Most importantly, he disliked Phawit’s self-description as “easy,” which felt unsettling.
“Then why are you telling me this?” Krittithee, ever stubborn, retorted, pretending he didn’t care who Phawit slept with, prompting an amused question from Phawit.
“You like him, don’t you?” Phawit asked.
Guk
“Want me to help?” Phawit continued. The first question froze Krittithee, stunned that Phawit discerned his feelings despite less than an hour together. The follow-up question made him turn sharply to see Phawit, stopped at a red light, the love marks on his shoulder clear.
“How about it? Should I atone by teaching you how to sleep with a man?” Phawit asked.
Now Krittithee feared Phawit more than Pakin, because Phawit knew precisely how to handle someone like him.
***
“Graph, Graph must not! Absolutely must not! Graph likes Phîi Pakin, Graph must belong only to Phîi Pakin!” Janjao exclaimed.
“I didn’t say I’d agree to sleep with that guy at all,” Krittithee replied.
“But he invited Graph to bed!” Janjao countered.
During lunch break, the girl with a ponytail whispered complaints to her close friend after Krittithee recounted yesterday’s events, who drove him, and what was said. Janjao’s eyes widened as she shook her head vigorously, insisting, “Graph loves him, Graph must have only Phîi Pakin! Sleeping with someone else won’t help!”
Her insistence relieved Krittithee, who had briefly hesitated. Hearing Phawit’s offer, he had been… interested.
If I knew how to sleep with a man, would Phîi Pakin be more interested in me? Krittithee thought.
This thought kept him silent, prompting him to exit the car upon reaching school, his heart torn in two.
One part wanted to agree, knowing Pakin liked worldly people. If Krittithee changed, Pakin might notice him.
The other part refused outright, as he only cared for Pakin, loved only Pakin, and found the idea of sleeping with another unbearable.
These conflicting feelings left Krittithee confused, unsure how to respond.
I want him to notice me, but I don’t want to sleep with anyone but him, Krittithee thought.
“I didn’t say a word about agreeing,” Krittithee said. His friend’s reinforcement eased him, prompting a faint smile to Janjao and an answer that made her sigh heavily, pounding her chest.
“It has to be like this, Graph… We don’t know what relation that man is to Phîi Pakin, but asking to sleep with Graph like this, we think it’s very bad!” Janjao affirmed, disliking the idea of her friend honing skills with another man.
At least, Janjao, a dreamy young woman, yearned for her first love and first time. She would never allow her friend to sleep with another when he had someone true in his heart.
Thump
“Hehe, is Janjao my mother or something?” Krittithee, relieved, placed his hand on her head, shaking it gently, making Janjao pout slightly.
“If not, it’s close. Graph’s state yesterday worried me to death,” Janjao said, wrinkling her nose, prompting Krittithee to shake her head more and say, “Thank you, really.”
Their behavior drew reactions from other friends.
“Will you two stop being sweet for one day? I’m jealous!” one friend teased.
“Âi’Janjao, you said you supported men getting together! You’re a traitorous friend!” another added.
Various teasing voices rose daily over the classroom’s sweet couple, unaware they were merely consulting on heart matters.
Janjao firmly insisted she disliked Pakin’s cousin without even meeting him.
How did he manage that? Krittithee thought.
“Hey, Graph, I’m here to pick you up,” Phawit called.
Stepping out of school, Krittithee froze, staring at a man whose appearance matched the morning’s but was even more charismatic.
Students glanced at the tall, slender man standing alone at the school entrance, dressed in designer clothes. His allure stemmed not from clothing but from an aura—perhaps his elegant demeanor, porcelain skin untouched by the sun, or the face behind sunglasses.
Removing his sunglasses and touching his mouth’s corner with the temple, Phawit smiled slightly, captivating onlookers.
He approached Krittithee, the school’s handsome troublemaker, and…
Thump
“Graph! Graph! Who is this?” Janjao exclaimed.
“That guy I told you about,” Krittithee replied.
Janjao, hoping for a snack before extra classes, pinched Krittithee’s arm excitedly, prompting a slight eyebrow raise. He answered willingly, leading Janjao to pull him back three steps, whispering excitedly, “Graph! I’ve seen him on magazine covers! He’s a model!”
“I don’t know. Probably,” Krittithee replied.
No wonder he dresses so well, Krittithee thought, uninterested. Janjao’s starry-eyed, arm-shaking reaction was more intriguing.
“Graph! Graph must agree to let him teach you!” Janjao urged.
“Hey, are you crazy?” Krittithee shouted, prompting Phawit, waiting quietly, to tilt his head, observing the two with interest, while Janjao shook her head vigorously.
“Graph, listen first…” Janjao began.
“How can I listen? You just said not to agree!” Krittithee interrupted.
“Well, I didn’t know Graph meant this person… This person is completely safe, believe me!” Janjao soothed, seeing Krittithee’s irritation, then whispered rapidly, “I thought he asked Graph to sleep with him, but this isn’t it! I’ve followed his work. He’s professional, firm, not frivolous. He definitely won’t screw Graph! I’m very confident he’ll only teach techniques and secrets to capture Phîi Pakin’s heart. Graph should listen to him! Theory and practice aren’t the same!”
Krittithee couldn’t keep up with Janjao’s moods, gaping at her casual use of “screw.”
Thump
“Khrap, I won’t screw Graph,” Phawit said.
Guk
Suddenly, Phawit stepped forward without warning, draping a hand over Krittithee’s shoulder as if familiar, then leaned in, saying, “I won’t screw,” stunning both youths. He touched Krittithee’s chin lightly, leaning close until Krittithee saw his beautiful, cold eyes clearly.
“But if Graph wants to try taking the initiative… That's another story,” Phawit said, raising an eyebrow, freezing Krittithee, while Janjao froze, hand over mouth, shaking Krittithee’s arm, squealing as if about to scream, her face fangirling over imagined male intimacy.
Piaek
“Hey, I’m not amused!” Krittithee regained composure, swatting Phawit’s hand, speaking angrily, prompting laughter from Phawit.
“Just joking. I’m not into consuming youths,” Phawit said, turning to Janjao. “Then if you’re comfortable, I’ll take Graph home now.”
Nod nod nod nod
Janjao nodded rapidly, releasing Krittithee’s arm and pushing his shoulder. “Khrap! Graph, go with him and listen to him! He’ll definitely teach Graph!” she urged, entrusting him. Krittithee frowned but said nothing, unable to speak as Pakin’s willful cousin locked his neck and led him to a luxurious sports car.
The sleek vehicle waited.
“That young woman is cute… Is she queer or something?” Phawit asked.
“Hey, no!” Krittithee exclaimed, shaking his head vigorously, prompting Phawit to nod as the traffic light turned green.
“Good… then hurry back and get ready. This evening I’ll take you to a good place,” Phawit said.
“Huh? Take me where? I’m not going!” Krittithee protested.
Despite Krittithee’s refusals, Phawit ignored him.
“Hey! Where are you taking me?” Krittithee demanded.
“You should tell by looking,” Phawit replied.
“Yeah, I know! But do you know how old I am?” Krittithee asked.
Krittithee was furious. This new acquaintance had picked him up from school, forced him to change clothes, and dragged him out without saying where, until the luxury car entered a large parking lot housing a famous club in the city’s heart.
The large, upscale club was worlds apart from roadside bars. The building was grand, luxurious, with well-selected staff, and the luxury cars parking there highlighted its exclusivity.
Lights shone like insect traps, making Krittithee, the trapped little one, turn to Phawit.
Initially, Krittithee wondered why, after dressing, Phawit scrutinized him from head to toe and forced him to wear a dark jacket. Seeing Phawit’s attire—long pants with rips revealing beautiful legs, a deep V-neck shirt falling off one shoulder, revealing flawless skin, silver accessories, and eyeliner enhancing his overly handsome face—Krittithee felt uneasy.
Krittithee sensed Phawit was here to fully unleash himself, unlike Krittithee.
Though Krittithee had partied at night often, it was usually to cause trouble for Pakin or drink at small bars with friends, not formal outings like this. He wasn’t used to being the center of attention.
He knew the gazes were for Phawit, but he still felt uneasy.
“Feeling 18, right?” Phawit asked.
“Yeah, they won’t let me in!” Krittithee said sternly, his age a barrier, prompting Phawit to laugh softly.
“With me, no one would dare forbid you,” Phawit said, smiling confidently as he led to the entrance. Krittithee frowned but, lacking car keys, followed hesitantly, saying, “Phîi Pakin said I have to tell him before going anywhere.”
Phawit glanced over, smiled slightly, and said, “Thought you’d be more rebellious. So you’re just a chick in Kin’s hands after all.”
“I’m not a chick in Phîi Pakin’s hands!” Krittithee retorted angrily, his voice firm, prompting a slight smile from Phawit.
“Then prove it,” Phawit said, reaching the doorman.
“Underage aren’t allowed,” the doorman said, stopping them. Despite Krittithee’s fine attire, his youthful face betrayed his age. Phawit produced a card, holding it up with a cold smile. “Is this enough to get in?” he asked.
The card flustered the staff.
“Khrap! Please come in! Enjoy yourselves!” the staff said.
Krittithee wondered, never expecting to enter this place.
This place… Phîi Pakin comes often, but I couldn’t follow him in, Krittithee thought.
“How did you do that?” Krittithee asked.
Phawit smiled faintly. “If you have connections with the owner… it’s easy,” he said, leading into a different world.
The atmosphere was dark but not oppressive, the music arousing but not loud, the crowd diverse but not cramped, as if the club was designed for maximum comfort in releasing stress.
“You know the owner?” Krittithee shouted, following Phawit past the large bar and crowd to the stairs to the second floor. Phawit shrugged, not answering, until halfway up, handing a card to the staff, then meeting Krittithee’s eyes with a wicked smile. “This place… belongs to a close friend of Phîi Pakin… Didn’t you know?”
Guk
No… I didn’t know, Krittithee thought.
He was unaware this place belonged to Pakin’s friend, having never met Pakin’s friends, only his subordinates. Scanning around, he hurried after Phawit to the VIP floor.
“So that means Phîi Pakin comes here often to visit friends?” Krittithee asked.
“If you want to think childishly like that,” Phawit replied, pointing over his shoulder at the attractive men and women dancing below, unlike the spaced-out drink tables upstairs.
“Kin comes here like me… like everyone here…” Phawit said with a slight smile, enhancing his menacing aura, his words freezing Krittithee. “To release.”
Smiling again, Phawit walked to a table overlooking the lower floor. Krittithee, looking around, realized he and Pakin inhabited different worlds.
Despite being a famous politician’s son, this neon-lit nightlife was unknown to him.
“Is Seen here?” Phawit asked a bowing waiter.
“Not today, Khrap,” the waiter replied.
“Sigh. Wasted trip,” Phawit said, waving dismissively before turning to Krittithee, still standing stiffly. “Sit.”
Though reluctant, Krittithee sat, eyeing Phawit, who smiled and said, “Brought you here to experience the atmosphere, to understand what you’re up against. No matter how much of a troublemaker Graph is outwardly, you’re still innocent in his eyes. Know the world more, then you’ll fight him… Just don’t know the world as much as I have,” Phawit said with a cold smile, ordering a sweet drink for the underage youth, standing, and whispering, “Wait a moment. Let me go have fun for a bit.”
Phawit left Krittithee sitting as he descended to the lower floor.
Krittithee gritted his teeth, angry but unable to argue.
Yes, I don’t know this world at all, he thought.
He knew alcohol, cigarettes, fast motorcycles, and fights, but among people seeking fun, he felt uneasy, wanting to leave. Yet, this place he wished to escape was where Pakin enjoyed.
They were too different.
“Is it because I’m still too young?” Krittithee thought, gritting his teeth, unable to dispute it.
What do I have to do for Phîi Pakin to notice me? How many years until I can be like Phîi Win? he wondered.
Looking downstairs for Phawit, Krittithee’s eyes widened when…
Smash!
“Screammm!” a woman cried.
“Hey!” Krittithee exclaimed in shock as Phawit threw a glass of liquor at a man’s face, shattering it against the bar, accompanied by a woman’s startled scream. He jumped up, noting Phawit’s expression, even from afar, resembled Pakin’s.
The terror in Phawit’s eyes spurred Krittithee to rush downstairs, unsure why he needed to intervene but certain that without stopping him, something terrible would happen.
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