Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
~~~
At this moment, those who had been chasing and capturing Krittithee had all retreated. Only the young man named Pakin stood with his hands in his pockets, watching silently until they were out of sight. Once certain that none of them intended to turn back to play games with him, the tall figure turned, intending to return to the car and take the instigator back to talk at home. But...
“Phîi Pakin.”
The aforementioned instigator stepped out of the car and stood looking at him with a fearful gaze.
This time, it wasn’t a look of arrogance or bravado, but a look of... fear.
The one who spoke first.
“Phîi... I didn’t do anything. This time I really didn’t do anything. It wasn’t me. I just went to see a friend. I was just going to take my friend to tutoring. I didn’t go looking for trouble with them. I didn’t even bump shoulders with them. Suddenly, they surrounded me, said if I didn’t go with them they’d hurt my friend. So I followed them. I didn’t start trouble with them first. Phîi can’t scold me!” Graph said, his words tumbling out rapidly, trying to explain that it wasn’t his fault.
All of it boiled down to one thing... don’t you dare scold me, Graph thought.
Meanwhile, Pakin’s expression hadn’t changed one bit, and that made the youth even more apprehensive.
Phîi Pakin never believes anything I say, never listens to what I say. This time is the same. Phîi Pakin must think I started the fight, couldn’t win, and had to run away with my tail between my legs. Definitely, Graph thought.
The thoughts showed on Krittithee’s face, and his voice came out panicked.
“And I didn’t mean to challenge them to a race. But I couldn’t escape them. So I said if I won, they had to let me go. But I didn’t know those damned shit-lizards would say if I lost, I had to go be their Mia... Phîi, I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t mean to cause trouble for Phîi. I... I don’t... I didn’t mean for Phîi to have to get involved with me...”
Graph didn’t know how to explain, but he hadn’t intended for things to turn out like this. He hadn’t meant to cause trouble for Phîi Pakin, because that meant the other would find him even more annoying than before.
“Sigh. Are you done talking?” Pakin asked.
The flood of words was answered with a sigh that indicated... annoyance.
That made the youth who had just felt fear bow his head, his heart aching unbelievably. Even at a time like this, Phîi still finds me annoying, Graph thought.
“Done... I’m done,” Graph said.
Yes, it was over. He had to let go of these feelings that would never come true, Graph thought.
Clench
But then, Krittithee had to widen his eyes when the person who had seemed annoyed instead used one arm to wrap around his head and pulled him in to rest against a shoulder. The action made his heart nearly stop, his body stiffening in disbelief.
Phîi Pakin... is hugging me, Graph thought.
“It’s alright now,” Pakin said.
Just five words, but they were making Krittithee’s eyes grow increasingly hot.
Phîi Pakin is... comforting me, Graph thought.
“You’re safe now, Graph,” Pakin said.
Graph didn’t know how to describe this feeling, didn’t know how to respond, when the voice that had always spoken to him coldly softened unbelievably. It was also whispered near his temple, urging him to bury it deep in his heart that he was safe now, that no one would harm him anymore, until... he was about to cry.
Krittithee wasn’t sure whether the tears welling up were tears of relief or tears born of heartache.
Heartache because Phîi Pakin was making it impossible for him to let go.
Why does Phîi have to be nice to me? Why does Phîi have to speak kindly to me? Why... does Phîi have to do this now? Graph thought.
The thoughts of Krittithee, who was raising trembling hands to clutch Pakin’s shirt, holding it tightly, while his body shook, unlike when he was being chased.
Now I am more afraid than then... afraid of my own feelings, Graph thought.
“If you want to cry, just cry, Âi-juvenile-hellspawn,” Pakin said. Even though he was being scolded, even though he was called a juvenile hellspawn, this time Graph couldn’t argue back. He could only grip Pakin’s shirt tightly, press his face into the broad shoulder, and suppress his sobs until his body trembled.
I don’t want to cry in front of him, Graph thought, but he couldn’t hold back the tears anymore.
Plop
And they were starting to fall from Krittithee’s eyes when he felt a large palm placed on his head, along with a deep voice speaking comfortingly.
“If you want to cry, cry it all out,” Pakin said.
“I’m not... crying... not crying,” Graph said. But the stubborn youth remained a stubborn youth who refused with a trembling voice, even though he was sobbing with all his might, which made Pakin shake his head wearily and use his other hand to pat Krittithee’s head lightly.
“Yeah, yeah, if you’re not crying, you’re not crying,” Pakin said.
“Phîi, don’t... mock... me... don’t mock me... okay,” Graph said. The problematic youth still spoke between sobs, dropping his head onto Pakin’s shoulder several times as a protest, until Pakin sighed. Comforting him didn’t work; indulging him, he’d say he was being mocked.
Therefore, the person tired of this annoying matter stood still, patting the head of the high-maintenance youth shaking in his embrace, and looked with a gaze of... relief.
Relief that he had arrived in time, and relief that Graph was unharmed, Pakin thought.
Pakin believed he had kept Graph out of these matters at the time, but he hadn’t anticipated that they would target this youth so quickly. So when Shin called an hour ago, he had become furious... extremely furious, the kind of anger he didn’t think he could feel, to the point of abandoning all work and heading straight for this youth.
What Pakin hated most was dragging uninvolved people into personal problems.
Especially this youth, the one he had tried hardest to keep at a distance, but those damned shit-lizards had pulled him back in unavoidably.
No matter what, Pakin had known Graph since he was seven years old. There was no way he would let him fall into danger while under his care.
And if there was anything he was angry about, it was...
“Can’t you learn to be a well mannered youth and accept being quietly grounded for once?” Pakin asked. The fact that Graph had escaped from home and caused trouble irritated Pakin enough to pat Krittithee’s head once, which Graph responded to with a stuffy, angry voice.
“Yeah, I’m not a well mannered youth. Anyway, I’m just a stubborn junior in Phîi’s eyes,” Graph said.
The words of the high-maintenance youth, who lifted his head to show red eyes accompanied by a tear-streaked face, made Pakin tap Krittithee’s forehead once.
“Yeah, stubborn, stubborn to the point of giving me a headache,” Pakin said.
“But Khun Pakin himself rushed out of the meeting room because of a stubborn youth, Khrap,” Panchai said.
Snap
Pakin’s eyes snapped to his close aide who had interjected immediately. Panchai knew his role and avoided eye contact, turning to smile at the youth who was wide-eyed in disbelief.
“How about we head back first, Khrap? I think Khun Pakin has something to inform Khun Graph about,” Panchai said.
“Something... something what?” Graph asked confusedly, his body still trembling like a baby bird moments ago, which made Pakin roll his eyes.
“You tell him, Chai. I have to go take care of something,” Pakin said, then turned back to his beloved car with a displeased demeanor, thinking about the matters he had to handle, leaving Krittithee staring in confusion, mixed with hurt. Are you just abandoning me like this? Graph thought. But then his eyes widened when the tall young man beside him spoke with a smile.
“Khun Graph will have to move to stay at the boss’s house, Khrap,” Panchai said.
“The boss’s... house!” Graph exclaimed. It took him a while to find his voice, staring wide-eyed at Phîi Chai. The speaker nodded in confirmation.
“Khrap. Starting today, Khun Graph must move in with Khun Pakin for safety reasons,” Panchai said. Words that Graph didn’t know whether to be happy or sad about, because it seemed... he saw no way to stop his feelings anymore.
***
Just after he had resolved to let go moments ago, when the short hand of the clock had just moved past ten, the beautiful supercar drove into the large mansion. The young man behind the wheel was frowning irritably, thinking about his day.
All day today, after parting with Krittithee, Pakin had been busy sealing everything up as quietly as possible. It wasn’t that the number of people who saw several cars chasing each other was small; moreover, some had taken pictures to post on social media, until he had to order reporters to keep quiet and not amplify this issue.
Pakin wasn’t worried about those damned animals suffering the consequences of their thoughtless actions, but he was concerned about the fallout on his side.
If that youth’s Phô found out, the problem would surely escalate.
This adversary was Pakin’s, not Graph’s Phô’s. Thus, it was possible that Pakin pulling this youth into his personal problems might displease that party. Then they would demand reasons why he had brought danger to his only son, which could affect the good relationship Pakin’s Phô had built. Therefore, Pakin sealed everything up as tightly as possible, leaving only news that would quickly fade, that today there was a gang causing a disturbance in the city.
As for who he had met earlier... it was the person he was most reluctant to have problems with, of course.
Krittithee’s Phô.
It took a long time for him to appear, until Pakin nearly showed his irritation, but he controlled himself in time, looking at the man whose political power was overwhelming yet who didn’t even know his son wasn’t confined at home, while he himself was out recklessly pursuing young women.
“Uncle must apologize to Pakin for having to come here. Uncle is very busy with work,” Krittithee’s Phô said.
The middle-aged man approached Pakin in the hotel lobby. Though Pakin didn’t see the face of the so-called “busy work,” there was no way he wouldn’t know it likely involved the figure and curves of a young woman [mistress is implied here]. Pakin just smiled, chuckling inwardly.
“It’s no problem, Khrap. I only have a small matter. I didn’t want to disturb Uncle’s work time either,” Pakin said.
Pakin smiled back, speaking in an understanding tone, which made Krittithee’s Phô laugh heartily and nod, asking what matter was so urgent as to request a meeting like this.
Pakin got straight to the point quickly.
“I’ve come to ask permission to take Graph to stay at my house for a while, Khrap...” Pakin said.
Pakin took another step closer to whisper softly.
“I happened to hear rumors that some people are dissatisfied with Uncle’s parliamentary speech last time,” Pakin said.
Pakin stopped there, then stepped back, his sharp face wearing a faint smile, observing the visibly stunned man.
“It’s just that Graph asked me to teach him more about cars. So I thought I’d put him in a training camp at my house, Khrap,” Pakin said.
Then Pakin spoke slightly louder so outsiders would see no underlying problems. And of course, he had no intention of revealing the truth. Let them think he was a good person, concerned about a junior he’d known since he was little, to the point of volunteering to care for him. Better than being the instigator who nearly got Graph killed.
Words that made Krittithee’s Phô’s face grow stern, but the answer was not unexpected.
“Is that so? Uncle will have to trouble Pakin then. If it’s Pakin, Uncle is reassured. Anyway, please help look after Graph. If he’s disobedient, you can scold him. Uncle permits it,” Krittithee’s Phô said.
Everything went as easily as Pakin had predicted. He didn’t know if it was trust as claimed, or simply a lack of care for his own son.
“You can trust me, Khrap,” Pakin said.
However, though everything went as anticipated, Pakin was inexplicably irritated that it was all so easy. That irritation lingered in his heart, even as he drove into the large mansion.
Pakin could only tell himself… He was irritated that that damned nuisance had tossed the problem to me without a second thought.
As long as he could push the problem away, it seemed that man cared about nothing else, Pakin thought.
The thoughts of Pakin, who slammed the car door shut with a loud Bang and walked quickly into the building. But his eyes scanned left and right until Panchai, who had quietly stepped in behind, spoke politely.
“Khun Graph is waiting in the living room, Khrap,” Panchai said.
“Waiting? What for? He can go take a shower and go to bed,” Pakin said irritably, which made Panchai smile faintly.
“I told Khun Graph, Khrap. But Khun Graph insisted on waiting for Khun Pakin,” Panchai said. Pakin’s dark eyebrows furrowed together, his sharp, stern eyes glaring at his close aide as if to reprimand him for indulging that youth instead of sending him to bed to be done with it. Pakin himself desperately wanted to rest.
However, despite thinking this, Pakin’s long legs carried him to the living room to confront the most headache-inducing problem.
A very big problem indeed, Pakin thought.
Pakin thought this as he stepped to stand before his favorite sofa, where he liked to relax while watching a good movie, now fully occupied by the problem. And... asleep.
At that moment, the slender youth, dressed in a brand-new blue and white pajama set, sat hugging his knees in one corner of the sofa, his head resting against the backrest so his light-colored hair covered his cheek, eyes tightly shut, breathing in and out steadily, signaling to Pakin... the stubborn youth had run out of energy.
“Why didn’t you take him to bed?” Pakin asked in a heavy voice.
“Khun Graph insisted, Khrap. He said he would wait for the boss no matter what,” Panchai said. Though Panchai reported in a serious tone, there was no way Pakin wouldn’t know his close aide was siding with this youth, prompting Pakin to retort in a displeased tone.
“Are you my subordinate or his?” Pakin asked.
“I am most certainly a subordinate under Khun Pakin’s command, Khrap. But I’m not heartless enough to refuse a high school youth’s request,” Panchai said. This time, Pakin stared with sharp eyes, clearly signaling you’re crossing a line, which made Panchai, who had taken the youth’s side, bow his head.
“My apologies, Khun Pakin. I’ll take Khun Graph up to bed myself, Khrap,” Panchai said. When Pakin’s look indicated he wouldn’t tolerate pointless arguments, Panchai stepped forward and knelt beside the slender figure sleeping soundly.
However...
“Did Ai-youth ask anything?” Pakin, standing with arms crossed, interjected, causing Panchai’s hands, about to lift the youth, to pause. Panchai turned to meet Pakin’s eyes and answered.
“About having to stay here, Khun Graph didn’t say anything, Khrap. He just said he wanted to talk to Khun Pakin,” Panchai said.
Pakin paused briefly. His close aide remained kneeling, awaiting orders on whether to carry the stubborn youth to his room, until Pakin said flatly,
“You may go,” Pakin said.
Three short words, but they prompted the close aide to accept the order and retreat knowingly.
The order meant Pakin would handle the youth himself.
Once the room was empty except for the homeowner’s son and his unexpected guest, Pakin sank onto the same sofa, pulled the tie from his neck, and tossed it onto the table before turning his attention to the problematic youth, still sleeping with his neck bent limply. In that moment, Pakin realized what irritated him.
“Even knowing his son has problems, he doesn’t think to check on him properly,” Pakin said. This was what irritated him, not just having the problem dumped on him, Pakin thought.
Pakin knew he shouldn’t soften and let this ill-natured youth disrupt his life. Yet he was fully aware that today’s events were entirely his fault. Moreover, Graph had endured too much for a high school youth today: his bike wrecked, not to mention the injuries. Yet he still had enough energy to argue with Pakin this afternoon.
Graph had been through a lot. That made Pakin yield.
That was all... everything stemmed from Pakin considering this his fault and needing to take responsibility, including allowing this youth to live under his roof.
If Pakin let Graph go, who knew when he’d cause trouble again. Staying here would be safer for him, Pakin thought.
“Sigh, bloody fucking hell!” Pakin exclaimed. Finally, the person who had become a temporary guardian let out a heavy sigh, stood up, and prepared to scoop up Krittithee’s body to take him to bed. Then today’s work could be done, and Pakin could finally rest.
Finally, Pakin thought.
However...
Swat
“Don’t,” Graph said. The moment Pakin touched him, Graph swatted his hand away and turned to the other side, trying to bury his face deeper into the sofa’s corner. Even asleep, Graph hadn’t lost his stubbornness, making Pakin shake his head.
“Good Lord!” Pakin exclaimed, suppressing the urge to throw Graph out of the house and grabbing the wrist that had swatted him away, not entirely pleased.
Pakin was exhausted, yet he had to deal with this youth.
Thud
But then, Pakin froze when he felt the temperature from Krittithee’s wrist.
“Hot,” Pakin said. Without another word, his other hand rested on Krittithee’s forehead as Graph tried to turn away. Pakin’s dark eyebrows furrowed. After a moment, he shook his head.
“Graph,” Pakin said. This time, Pakin poked Krittithee’s arm to call him, making the soundly sleeping youth shake his head and mumble until Pakin poked harder.
“Wake up!” Pakin commanded in a deep voice, poking harder until the limp, weak body opened bleary, red eyes to look and mumbled only...
“Phîi Pakin... you’re back already, Khrap...” Graph said.
Normally, Graph would have leapt up to point and demand where he’d been waiting. But now, as the dazed youth sat listlessly, tilting his head to look at Pakin with a pale face and red eyes, Pakin’s usually stern and terrifying deep voice softened.
“You have a fever. Did you take medicine, Khrap?” Pakin asked.
Poke
“Hmph, not a bit,” Graph said. Upon hearing this, Krittithee raised his hand to feel his own forehead, then shook his head, refusing.
“Haven’t taken medicine yet, have you?” Pakin asked. Naturally, an answer like that could only mean one thing, making Krittithee pout and turn his face away, but he raised a hand to his temple as if indicating a headache. Pakin sighed irritably.
Of course, Pakin thought.
That’s right. After enduring all that, it’d be oddly surprising if this youth didn’t have a fever, Pakin thought.
“I’ll get you some medicine. Take it and go to sleep,” Pakin said.
Plop
But then, the listless youth reached out and grabbed Pakin’s arm first, transmitting a higher-than-normal temperature to Pakin. Then a hoarse voice spoke softly.
“Can I... not take medicine, Khrap?” Graph asked.
The eyes looking straight at Pakin made him pause briefly... He’s wheedling, Pakin thought.
A look Pakin often saw when Graph was sick.
“No,” Pakin said. But Pakin had no intention of softening. If Graph died in his house, that would be trouble.
“I don’t want to take medicine... a fever-reducing gel is enough...” Graph said.
“I said no,” Pakin said. Pakin grimaced, looking angry. Then the highly spirited youth managed to lie down, curled into a ball, hugging himself tightly, speaking in the firmest voice he could muster.
“I won’t take medicine,” Graph said.
“Do you want me to get irritated?” Pakin asked.
Thud
However, an ice-cold voice came from Pakin, making the stubborn, stiffened youth turn to look apprehensively.
I thought today Phîi Pakin would be kind, but I might have provoked this man’s cruel streak again, Graph thought.
Pakin was looking at Krittithee with a gaze nearing the end of patience, forcing Graph to struggle to sit up. “If I take the medicine... will Phîi not scold me, Khrap?” Graph asked.
“What would I scold you for?” Pakin replied sternly, making Krittithee’s heart sink. Phîi is scolding me right now, Graph thought, wanting to argue but too headache-ridden to retort. He could only say...
“If I take the medicine, Phîi promises not to scold me about what happened today,” Graph said.
The demeanor of Krittithee, who had feared being scolded since this afternoon and still did now, made Pakin sigh.
Was this the matter he wanted to talk about? Pakin thought.
“Yeah. Will you take the medicine properly now, Khrap?” Pakin asked. Though Pakin considered the matter closed and not worth revisiting, he agreed. This made Graph reluctantly nod, agreeing to sit still and wait. Pakin disappeared briefly and returned with a detested white pill and a glass of water.
Even after the pill had gone down Krittithee’s throat, Graph hurriedly continued.
“About me having to stay here...” Graph said.
Plop
“Hey!” Graph exclaimed. But before Krittithee could finish speaking, he cried out in surprise when Pakin stepped forward, hoisted him over his shoulder, and spoke in an annoyed voice.
“We’ll talk about that later. Right now, you need to go to bed. Otherwise, you’ll just get sick and die,” Pakin said. Having said that, Pakin, who had waited until exasperated, carried the slender figure and quickly ascended the stairs. Graph stiffened, staring at the back at eye level, unsure how to feel. But one thing was certain: his heart was swelling.
A heart swelling until it hurt, as if bound by a thin string to keep him from being too happy, because Krittithee was pained that this kindness made him nearly die of joy. And he knew that if Phîi Pakin turned cruel again, this Âi Graph would also hurt nearly to death, Graph thought.
Finally, Krittithee’s slender body was placed on the soft bed in the guest room. His round eyes looked directly at the tall figure stretching his stiff shoulders, then asked in a worried voice.
“Phîi... won’t kick me out of the house, right, Khrap?” Graph asked.
Having been expelled countless times, the sick youth voiced his greatest fear. This made Pakin raise his hand and tap his own forehead once.
“If you don’t want to be kicked out, don’t be so stubborn that you give me a headache,” Pakin said.
“Even if I act like a well mannered youth, Phîi never thinks I’m good,” Graph said. The sick youth argued, prompting Pakin to retort immediately.
“Then today I’ll agree to consider you a well mannered youth if you shut up and go to sleep now,” Pakin said.
Whoosh
Whether due to the authoritative words or something else, Krittithee closed his eyes, pulled the blanket up to his neck, signaling he was going to sleep, and thought, Phîi can’t scold me.
The sight made Pakin’s lips curl slightly upward. He couldn’t help but tap Krittithee’s forehead lightly.
“Ouch, that hurts,” Graph said.
“Serves you right for hitting me... If there’s anything, we’ll talk when you’re better. Rest. You’ve had a tough day today,” Pakin said.
Though it was a common thing anyone might say to a sick person, for some reason Graph felt these words carved deep into his parched heart, soaking up the kindness he had rarely experienced, hoarding it as much as possible, even though his heart was saying it hated it...
I hate this kindness because it makes me know... I truly can’t let go, Graph thought.
Even though Phîi Pakin had given me hope and then crushed it countless times, why did I never learn? Why did I still hope? This time, can I hope... hope that living together, however briefly, will make Phîi look at me a little? Graph thought. The question Krittithee pondered as his last before drifting off due to the medicine’s effect.
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