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"Oh, how sleepy I am!"
At the back of the house, in the laundry area, the young man who rose at dawn was stooping and rising in front of the completed washing machine. He cast the clothes into a basket with ennui, yawning so widely that tears welled in his eyes. His large eyes glanced sidelong at the pile of clothes, wherein, assuredly, not one garment was his own.
Tomorrow, if free, wash some clothes for Jae, will you, Dear? This week I have a splitting headache.
The words of his cherished Jae, not a request nor a plea but a command, resounded before he headed to his room yesterday. And she who spoke of a spinning head... the sun had not yet reached its zenith, and Jae had not raised her dim-wit head from her pile of blankets, Khrap.
"Fortunate that I washed my own undergarments," Dear muttered to himself, seizing the laundry basket and passing through the back door. He could not resist thinking of his university shirts. Though Jae Dream had firmly declared that Phîi Porsche had said the maid who collects Phîi Porsche's clothes for washing and ironing could take his as well, believe it or not... Jae Dream surely coerced Phîi Porsche.
"My Jae knows not how to spell 'consideration,' does she?" He murmured, shaking out a garment to hang on the clothesline. At that moment, a faint voice came from beyond the wall.
"Daeng, Daeng, will you go to the market for me?"
"Yes, Khun Phuying. What do you desire?" The faint conversation drifting over prompted the young man in shorts and a shirt to smile broadly. He hastened to the long wall dividing his house from the grand (enormous) house and was about to rise on tiptoe to greet, as befits a courteous young man, save that...
"Hmm, I shall note it down. Porsche will stay this night, you see. I must prepare his favored dishes to please the Phôo Khon Tòh somewhat, else he scarce returns to show his face..."
[[Translator's Note: พ่อคนโต (Phôo khon tòh) means Eldest Father, but culturally it means "eldest son" or "firstborn male child." In Thai familial structure, it indicates the son born first into the family and carries strong cultural weight. Traditionally, the Phôo khon tòh is expected to assume responsibility for younger siblings, act as the second authority figure after the father, and eventually care for parents in old age.]]
Whoosh
When the name of one was uttered, he who was about to call out instead crouched snap behind the high wall forthwith. He knew not why he hid thus, but his heart pounded thuk-thuk upon hearing the name of the one he secretly loved. He had striven to banish thoughts of Phîi Porsche from his mind, yet why, on his day of rest, could he not escape this Phîi, confound it?
"By the way, are Dream and Dear yet asleep? I thought to invite them to dine this evening."
Asleep, Khrap, asleep. I am dead to the world, Khrap, Auntie.
"Oh, Daeng saw Khun Dear just now. When I entered, he was watering the plants."
Good Lord, why must you speak thus, Phîi Daeng, why, Khrap?
Dear started violently, crying out inwardly. He stopd eavesdropping, crouching as low as his stature allowed—perchance the sole merit of being short was slipping into the house without a sound, dragging the laundry basket with him.
How could he not flee? Plainly, I am not ready to meet Phîi Porsche. Thus... I must escape!
His thoughts exhausted, Dear swiftly hung the clothes on the indoor line, as one does in rain.
Thereafter, he dashed to seize his wallet, thrust his phone into his shorts, did not forget to pen a note and affix it to the refrigerator to appease his imperious Jae, donned his cherished sandals, and hastened to summon a motorcycle taxi in front of the house. He would not linger to be invited to dine by the kind-hearted aunt next door.
Ordinarily, beholding you, Phîi Porsche, I cannot meet your gaze, truly. Grant me two days, and I shall comport myself most admirably...
In the end, the dim-wit could devise no destination save... Âi Sun's house.
Well, it is the nearest to mine, is it not?
Dear sighed, standing like a fool under the blazing sun in front of the grand house. How had he forgotten that his bloody fucking friend was drinking spirits as if water with his Rahad Phîi yesterday? Moreover, he had not sought a ride back (though this was foreseeable; Âi Sun, if he could avoid Jae Dream, would deem it merit from a past life). By now, he is likely dead drunk in his dormitory.
"Oh, Dear, enter, junior," a middle-aged woman's voice called as she prepared to drive out, prompting him to raise his hands in a respectful wai.
"Greetings, Mâe."
"Come to see Sun? Sun returned not last night, junior. But I heard him speak with that Janjao and that Bulan of staying here tonight. He should arrive soon. Oh, or have you arranged to meet?" His friend's Mâe questioned and answered herself, leaving the listener to nod repeatedly. Whether his dog-mouth friend returned or not, he cared not. Dear sought only a refuge.
"Yes, Mâe. I arranged to meet him, Khrap," he replied swiftly, aiding to open the gate for his friend's Mâe to drive out. Acting the courteous young man, he closed the grand gate as if its keeper, which the homeowner minded not. Indeed, he frequented this house so often that, without guidance, he could ascend to Âi Sun's room without cries of "thief!"
Yet, being courteous, he deemed it fit to call first.
"Hmm, hallo, who is it?" After three ringtones, the voice at the other end answered languidly, surely with his head buried in a pillow, poised to resume slumber.
"It is I."
"Which 'I'? I know no one named 'It is I.'"
Confound it, drowsy yet you antagonize me still.
"Not amusing. It is Dear. Where are you now?"
"My business."
Thus ever. Truly, a wretched nature. Ordinarily, he smiles and mingles with all, but when he would sleep...
"Fine, your affair. I call only to say I stand in front of your house. I shall go up to your bedroom, play games, use the air conditioner, sleep in your bed, read your comics..."
"Yes, do as you will. I sleep. We meet this evening. Later." Though Dear sought to rouse him with annoyance, Âi Sun interrupted flatly, rattling off words and ending the call.
"Consider it permitted. I shall sleep here and not return home, mark my words." Dear sighed heavily. On a true day of rest, he thought to lounge in his room. Who would wish to hide at another's house thus? Yet choices were few. To call other friends... he was too idle.
And fretting again. Oh, why am I so dim-witted? Utterly mad. He showed himself thus, and I remain a dim-wit.
Yet, upon entering the house, a vexed cry from someone made him wonder if he were being cursed. The word "dim-wit" seemed to swirl about him. The sight caused Dear to furrow his brows.
For the young woman with hair short as an earlobe, in house attire, poised as if to strike the laptop on her lap with an irked expression... was that not Bulan, the youngest of the house?
"What ails you?"
Snap
"Oh, Phîi Dear! My Phîi Dear, Bulan's brother-in-law!"
Charming that Nong recalls me, but uncharming that I am deemed Âi Sun's Mia since when?
The young woman in front of him set the laptop down at once, leapt to stand in front of him, smiling sweetly, her greeting loud enough for the house to hear that he was with Âi Sun (or so she thought).
"Is Phîi Dear here for Phîi Sun? Phîi Sun has not returned. But he said he would this evening. We spoke on Line yesterday. Yet Phîi Dear likely knows, being romantic partners," Bulan said, beaming with delight, causing the oft-misjudged Dear to sigh heavily.
"How often have I said I am not Âi Sun's romantic partner?"
"Oh? But Phîi Sun said you are together."
Damned Âi Sun! How often have I insisted you stop indulging your sister? She asks, and you assent blindly. Know you not my plight? Can you not deny her once?
"We are not together, nor romantic partners. Is that clear?" Dear explained for what seemed the hundredth time. The attractive, short-haired young woman, sure to grow beautiful, shook her head snap-snap and smiled sweetly.
"Not clear. Come, Phîi Dear, don't be stubborn. You are close friends, plainly not thinking purely. Phîi Janjao affirmed it too. Fear not that Mâe cannot accept. Mâe adores Phîi Dear. Our house is open, Khrap."
You alone are open!
Dear sighed another heavy breath, understanding his friend's acquiescence. If Bulan believed so fervently, no wonder Sun assented to end her pestering. Fortunate that only Bulan was present. If Janjao were there too...
"Oh, how came Phîi Dear here?"
Alas, I should not have thought of her.
Yet the sweet voice of the long-haired young woman, approaching from the back with a large bag of snacks, called out, making Dear wish to perish, for...
"Come for Phîi Sun? Phîi Sun is not back. Phîi Dear may wait in his room. Phîi Sun will rejoice, his romantic partner awaiting on his bed. Keke."
If the younger sister's fervor for pairing was a ten, the elder's reached a hundred. Dear doubted himself.
How have I not succumbed to these two's fancies these many years? They unsettle me each meeting.
"What do you do here?" Unable to endure their darting glances, he changed the subject. Bulan's eyes widened, and she pulled his arm to sit upon the sofa.
"Here, Phîi Dear. Bulan reads a new novel. It vexes me greatly, Phîi! See, the male lead kissed his mouth..."
Gasp
"...and the male lead is so dim-witted, is he not?..."
Gasp
"...he thinks it was accidental, then flees him too. It is most annoying, utterly so."
Nay, I am not ruffled. Not ruffled at all, though I started thrice. I am not.
Dear told himself faintly, scarce meeting the eyes of the two young women in front of him, turning to the screen Bulan pointed at. His gaze followed the text, and his face paled slightly.
Did you think anything of me, or was it... accidental...
Confound it, why mirrors it my plight?
He questioned himself yet more softly, offering a dry smile, hearing the two young women critique the novel ardently, praying they would not question him now. For he was... fleeing... fleeing Phîi Porsche.
"Yet Phîi Dear would not act thus, would he? Phîi Sun loves Phîi Dear dearly. Surely more than a kiss has passed, keke," Bulan said, daring to jest, though Dear had often declared they were not romantic partners, not courting, not entwined.
"Then let me ask, what would you two do if kissed thus by a man?" What do I ask them?
Dear sighed heavily, awaiting the opinions of the two young women, who glanced at each other before Janjao smiled sweetly and spoke with zeal.
"If I were Janjao? I would not flee, Phîi. See, the male lead harbors feelings. If he liked not, felt not stirred, why kiss? Were it I, I would tease back, flirt back to chasten him. Let his restraint break. It is plain they love each other; why be stubborn?"
"Indeed, I, Bulan, concur. If he loved not, liked not, why kiss? This novel's male lead overthinks. If kissed, kiss back. Simple." The two young women nodded vigorously, smiling sweetly, causing Dear to scratch his cheek lightly. He wished not to shatter their dreams, yet...
A man may act with one he loves not. Not every man is a novel's hero. And Phîi Porsche... what manner of man is he?
Dear shook his head swiftly, dispelling foolish thoughts of the Phîi-next-door. Yet his mind retained the sisters' counsel unbidden.
Flirt back? Shall I try... nay, Âi Dear, would you heed the advice of a fourteen- and sixteen-year-old?
He questioned himself, yet hearkened to their discourse without missing a word.
In the dining hall of the Akramethakorn house, the eldest son frowned deeply, seeing only his close friend conversing with his Phôo and Mâe, but no trace of the little one with the red lips he had kissed days prior.
"Oh, Porsche, sit, hasten! I am famished!" Upon sighting him, Dream called out as if it were her house, prompting Purin to laugh.
"Ha, who is the house's daughter?"
"I am, of course. You are but the guard. Know you not to return home? Know you not that Auntie Ni worries?" Given an opening, would Nai Darinphan not seize favor? Though his Phôo and Mâe already cherished her greatly.
The thought prompted Purin to shake his head and return to the matter.
"Where is Dear?" he said, sinking into a chair, prompting his Mâe to support him.
"Indeed, where is the Nong, Dream?" The question caused she who claimed hunger, yet stabbed a shrimp fritter into her mouth without awaiting others, to look up and smile courteously at the elders.
"I forgot to tell you, Auntie. This afternoon, when you invited me, I thought Nong was playing games upstairs. Then I saw the note on the refrigerator. Dear went to a friend's house today. He returns this evening, it seems. Thus, I came to dine alone," she said, smiling sweetly at the elders, not glancing at Purin, who fell silent at once.
"Yet it is odd, Khrap. Earlier, Dear said he would stay home all day. And though it rains not, he hung the laundry inside, as if fleeing someone," she mused, as was her wont, making Purin's ears grow stiller. His keen eyes regarded his friend's face, then turned elsewhere as guilt gripped his heart.
Dream entrusted him to care for her Nong, yet he acted thus. Purin banished the thought, though certain.
The little one flees me.
"Half past eight. Âi Dear, you act as if fleeing debts."
The young man who had just paid the motorcycle taxi fare muttered to himself. He had lingered at Âi Sun's house since in front of noon, stayed for dinner out of courtesy to their household, then rode behind his drunken friend—who returned not till almost three in the afternoon—to eat near the alley's mouth, played Winning Eleven with him, then compelled himself home.
Certain he would not encounter Phîi Porsche.
Creeak
By now, Jae Dream surely complains mightily...
"Why return you so late?"
Thud
He who opened the gate to enter froze. Had his Jae questioned him, it would differ. But the deep, gentle voice he often heard close by his ear caused his eyes to widen. He looked up, meeting calm, sharp eyes.
"Phîi Porsche..."
Dear murmured softly, gazing at the tall young man seated on the same stone bench... the bench that once made him love this Phîi. Now Phîi Porsche gazed as if Dear had erred.
Meanwhile, the little one's stillness in front of the gate prompted Purin to rise and stride toward him, whose eyes darted as if afeared.
"Why flee me, Dear?"
"N-no... I flee not."
"Then why avoid meeting me?"
"I-I went to a friend's house."
"Knew you not I would return?"
"Madness! Phîi Porsche is surely mad! Who would know your return day?"
For now, he would be obstinate, addressing the rest later. Dear kept his head low, answering swiftly, daring not meet the gaze of the Phîi-next-door, who seemed to narrow his eyes suspiciously. A shiver ran through him, akin to his Phôo catching him discarding saved wine.
"Is it not... because of that kiss?"
Thud
His form went numb, his heart almost stopd at the sudden mention. He looked up snap to meet the tall young man's unreadable eyes. Yet surely, the lips often smiling were set straight, rendering it gravely serious.
...the male lead harbors feelings. If he liked not, felt not stirred, why kiss?...
Janjao's words echoed, causing him to purse his lips tightly, then swiftly dispel them. Nay, Dear, presume not so. Phîi Porsche is not gay. How could he feel for me?
The thought prompted Dear to draw a deep breath and speak with a smile.
"Nay, Phîi, surely not. I am not so immature as to flee you over that. I know you meant it not. Merely lips touching briefly. I don't think much of it."
Indeed, scolded by Phîi wák, dazed all day, then hiding at a friend's house... scarcely thinking, Âi Dear.
Dear's reply caused Purin to frown sharper, feeling an inexplicable displeasure.
"You think nothing?"
"Erm... aye." Though he noted Phîi Porsche's face was still and fearsome, he nodded for survival, his eyes avoiding the shapely lips in front of him, fleeing the truth that it was not a mere touch. Phîi Porsche had bloody fucking bitten his lips.
"Is it so? You think nothing, then."
"Aye, nothing, nothing at all... Mmph!"
He who persisted in his stance widened his eyes twofold as the warm lips of the young man in front of him pressed swiftly upon his mouth. If in front of it was an unintended touch, this was bloody fucking deliberate, leaving Dear frozen in shock.
A kiss not fully so, as Purin's lips pressed firmly against the little one's mouth, remaining thus. The garden light revealed only the nose bridge of he who tilted his head to kiss.
Dear knew not its duration, only that it felt long... long in Nai Dranphat's perception. "Can you yet call this Phîi's unintended act?"
Purin withdrew, yet the shocked Dear remained so until the deep voice questioned, making him start violently. He looked at the tall young man with uncomprehending eyes, his voice emerging as if he had been mute for minutes.
"Why... kiss me?" A query Purin himself understood not, nor why he acted thus, only that he misliked Dear deeming the kiss nothing, a mere touch. What then was his concern for Dear's feelings these days?
Thus, Purin knew not if that night he was careless or sought to test those red lips' softness. Yet he knew why he kissed Dear this night.
Since Dear claimed it unintended, he acted deliberately to resolve it.
He misliked unresolved sentiments.
"Not much thought, is it?" The listener pursed his lips tightly, gazing at the tall Phîi with vexation. How could I think little when kissed deliberately?
"Phîi Porsche, why did you act like this?" The irked demeanor of he who long avoided his gaze pleased the vexed Purin oddly. He relished seeing his Nong act bold again, a smile lifting his lips.
"Why are you smiling like that? Fine, I fled from you, OK? Now, why did you kiss me?" The angered Dear, raising his voice at one long revered, prompted Purin to laugh aloud.
This is the Dear I know.
Clasp
He who would protest fell silent when a large palm rested on his shapely head, shaking it gently, as if he were a mere little one. His large eyes gleamed with ire, though the hand's warmth eased his anger almost to nothing.
Phîi Porsche is ever bloody fucking cheating. Thus, I cannot remain upset.
"In truth, Dear... I don't know."
"What?" The listener uttered a throat sound, gazing at the frank confessor, who continued with a slightly heavy voice that soon lightened.
"I truly don't know why I kissed you." The reply stilled Dear briefly before he concluded.
"Perchance because you court none now. I was near, so you acted like this, yes?" He sought to jest, shrugging slightly, pursing his lips, but the hand on his head stilled before Purin spoke gravely.
"I don't consider you a substitute for any. And aye, that night... I desired to kiss you, Dear."
Thud
The listener bit his lips tighter, unsure if to quell a smile or anger, uncertain if Phîi Porsche teased him, only able to meet his gaze.
"Is Phîi Porsche gay?"
"Nay." The query needed no thought; Purin answered at once. His large hand stroked Dear's soft hair, unnoticed by its owner, who gazed with large, round eyes, endearing. No wonder his Mâe cherished this Nong-next-door. When unguarded, Dear bore a more attractive, pleading face than Dream's feigned airs.
"Then why kiss me?"
"Your mouth is red."
"What!" The reply from the reputedly perfect young man made Dear exclaim loudly, gazing in disbelief. This restored Purin to his teasing yet caring self, adding.
"Your mouth is so red I desired to kiss it. Is that well?"
Not well. Not well at all.
Dear bit his lips tightly, for the unwelcomed thing was his heart pounding under the fond gaze and words that stirred thoughts. Thus, he turned his head, stepped back twice, fleeing his heated cheeks, cursing.
"Phîi Porsche is bloody fucking mad." Having spoken, he turned to enter the house but halted when the tall Phîi spoke.
"Dear." His cursed heart insisted him turn, losing all composure, as one who long revered Phîi Porsche. A grave error, for...
"It is not merely red. I think it very soft too."
Gah
"Phîi Porsche is bloody fucking mad!"
He shouted, running into the house, unwilling for another to see his burning cheeks. This demeanor amused Purin, who laughed aloud.
It was unclear what happened, but he thought, at least, this little one would not shun him upon returning to the dormitory. Though he could not answer his own question about those kisses.
"No matter." Purin dismissed his thoughts, striding to the gate to return home. Yet his hours of waiting were not vain, for he who should have hidden emerged, shouting.
"Phîi Porsche, close the gate after leaving, please. Else Jae Dream will scold me. Thanks, Khrap!" He retreated, locking the door swiftly, while Purin laughed aloud.
He is my good junior again. Where else would one thank a kiss-thief?
As for his thoughts, he let them be.
Ding-ding-dong
A faint chime signaled a message. He in the luxurious car, gazing at the large building marked as a renowned tutoring institute, looked down, seized it, and read.
Focus T^T 最愛の人 : Phîi Shin, Mâe said she will fetch me today. Likely we shall not meet.
The message made Shin, behind the wheel, gaze silently, then type.
...It is well...
He sent it, seeing the other read it but reply not, prompting Shin to smile faintly, returning the phone. His sharp eyes fixed forward, though he saw a familiar, fine motorcycle park near the institute.
Soon, he for whom Shin waited since last week emerged... a young man in a renowned all-boys' school uniform, smiling broadly. The rider, removing his helmet, approached, embracing the young man's shoulders, heedless of others' gazes.
Had that young man shunned even slightly, Shin would feel nothing. Yet his hands gripped the wheel tightly, watching the attractive young man lower his head shyly as the other donned a helmet on him, then mounted behind. A clear laugh likely rang as his hand was pulled to clasp the driver's waist.
The motorcycle departed, but Shin clenched his jaw, closing his eyes.
Phîi Shin, what does 'Phîi member Focus' mean? I can't read it.
This? 'Saiai no hito'
What does it mean? I am not half-Japanese like you. He recalled the attractive, pouting face of his romantic partner, prompting him to lean and kiss the soft mouth, causing wide eyes before he explained the name he saved.
It means... most beloved.
"Heh, most beloved. I am but a dim-wit fooled by a close friend's betrayal."
Having spoken, Shin drew a deep breath, shifted gears, and drove off swiftly. Though his eyes held no tears, he was... pained.
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