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"What, are you serious, Âi Shin? Are you not fearful that your Phîi Rahad will sever ties?"
[[Translator's Note: พี่รหัส (Phîi Rahad) combines Phîi, meaning older sibling or senior, with Rahad, a freshman's enrollment code, denoting a senior mentoring a specific junior in Thai universities.]]
"Seriously? Fearful of what? If anyone inquires, I shall say I studied in Japan and don't comprehend Thai traditions. That concludes the matter. I think it a waste of time," said Shin, the young man whose mother was Japanese, with a nonchalant air, shrugging in a manner Sun recognized from days spent together.
At the noon hour, the faculty restaurant was thronged with students restoring energy lost to slumber (?), gaming beneath tables (?), or covert snacking (?). Scarcely a table stood vacant. In one corner, the gazes of young women—few in number, and if not Phîi Toms, exceedingly masculine—fixed upon a table where the notoriously famed first-year students sat.
[[Translator's Note: พี่ทอม (Phîi Tom) combines Phîi, meaning older sibling or senior, with Tom, a Thai slang term for a masculine lesbian or sometimes other LGBTQIA+ gender non-conforming person.]]
How could they not be famed? In a mere week, Nai Sun, the young man questioning his friend with incredulity, had clashed with peers and seniors alike, reports claiming that in four days of study, he had caroused with eight gangs of faculty luminaries, averaging two restaurants daily. It was almost unbelievable how he managed such feats. No wonder young women, both peers and seniors, yearned to greet him.
But now, meddling in others' affairs seemed less enthralling than the half-Japanese young man declaring... he would forgo the cheer team meeting.
Bloody fucking bold.
"It is the honor of the Engineering faculty!"
"Honor cannot be consumed," said Âi Shin, the attractive young man whom young women rumored must be kin to a Korean drama star, speaking with indifference and shrugging. Sun understood his friend's nature.
Âi Shin is a bloody fucking drama-queen. What I wish not to do, I shall not do. But what I desire, forbid me unto death, and I shall attain it.
"Good Lord, you are a first-year but once. The cheer meetings span a mere month. Feign meekness for a few hours daily; it will not kill you."
"I desire not to attend. I see nothing of interest. Singing songs, enduring shouts... I would rather work at a part-time endeavor to fill my purse," Âi Shin said, shrugging with utter disregard. He cared not for exclusion from next year's cheer team meeting, nor if his Phîi Rahad would sever ties. He simply didn't wish to participate. What can anyone do to me?
This demeanor caused Sun, the listener, to scratch his head vigorously. This was a matter of honor. To be a first-year and shun the cheer was a bloody fucking squandered existence.
"Good Lord, Dear, manage your friend," Sun said, seeing the half-Japanese young man resume eating noodles with refined manners. Turning to his friend on the other side, at his wit's end, he encountered one in a graver state.
"Good Lord, Âi Dear, what ails you?" His close little one, holding a spoon aloft, gazed straight ahead, prompting Sun to follow his stare, only to glimpse something that made him turn back swiftly.
Clasp
"Âi Dear!"
Gasp!
"What... curse it, what is your clamor?" The distracted Dear started violently when his close friend seized both shoulders and yanked him to meet his gaze, berating him as mad or some such. My shoulders may dislocate. But he didn't speak before Sun continued.
"I cherish you, friend. Do not harbor such rash thoughts. If you perish, blast it, how shall I face Âi Ae? How shall I meet my sister, having failed to care for you, leading you to such rashness by..."
"Cease! You mad fool, what drivel do you spout? Halt your prattle! What folly do you imagine, Âi-fresh-mushroom?" Dear shouted in ire at the young man weaving a dramatic tale, wholly unaware of any intent to end his life. I was quietly eating my meal, and you seized my shoulders.
Cannot I ponder in peace, you damned nuisance? I am vexed, truly vexed. Look into my eyes, do you see? Your friend is overwrought, sleepless all night!
Dear, kissed but yesterday, yearned to rage. Since Phîi Porsche pressed lips to his, he admitted, bloody fucking hell, I lost my wits, fled to my chamber like a dim-witted heroine from an evening drama, and lay pondering all night: why did Phîi Porsche act thus?
He confessed those sharp eyes lingered behind his eyelids. Each time he closed them, he saw that keen, attractive face almost within reach. The warm sensation upon his lips was so vivid he often raised a hand to touch them. Each time, his heart trembled, annoying him.
He admitted, with manly candor... I am gladdened, yet... confounded.
Why did Phîi kiss me? Dear recalled years past, remembering well. Phîi Porsche courted only young women, each strikingly beautiful, whom I envied. That was before his heart, waywardly, loved this older person. Thus, Dear was certain: Phîi Porsche was not gay, and did not like young men. Hence, the question: What transpired yesterday?
Have I hope, or did Phîi merely... err?
"I should question you..." His thoughts returned to Âi Sun, who wore a horrified expression and whispered softly, "What rash thought had you, gazing at that gang of Jae with such tender eyes? I hear if Jae targets anyone, she truly seizes their liver." The whispered words made Dear frown briefly before glancing back, his face flushing.
Did I, thinking of Phîi Porsche, make such an expression? But...
"Good Lord!"
Snap
"You, Âi Sun, I am undone! I am utterly undone!"
"Do not call me Âi Sun. You stared thus. Look, she winked at you," Sun said, noting the direction Dear had gazed: five third-year seniors in shop shirts, proclaiming their engineering status, yet... bloody fucking adorned with eyelashes long as banana leaves, lips painted vivid red, now gazing with tender eyes that gave the first-years gooseflesh.
"I didn't stare, confound it! Not at all!"
"Good Lord, Dear, the Phîi waves at you," said Shin, eating noodles with a Khun-chai's grace, joining the fray. I heard he argued with Âi Sun moments ago. Hah, when it concerns me, you both gang up on me.
"You, has she looked elsewhere? Has she?" Dear said, bowing his head low, staring at his rice and curry, barely three bites taken, hoping the seniors would not target him. I confess, I favor young men, but this is not my preference.
"I don't know, nor care. You chose poorly to ogle... but hold, I must persuade Âi Shin. He does not attend the cheer team this eve," Sun said, changing the subject and pointing to the half-Japanese young man, who, at this topic, resumed eating noodles impassively.
"What? Why won't you attend? You shall regret it. Your Phîi Rahad, even yesterday, seemed most fierce. He will pursue you," Dear said, raising his eyebrows in oddly surprising astonishment. The matter of the eyelash-fluttering senior faded, and he regarded his friend, resolute in his refusal.
"Indeed, I shall manage," Shin said firmly, signaling no change of heart, causing Dear to relent.
"Well, it is your affair."
These words, showing both friends' exasperation, prompted Shin, eating noodles without waste, to smile. His sharp eyes gleamed thoughtfully. It is not that I defy the world, refusing the cheer. I have matters to attend this evening, merely that.
"Nongs, who among you is Nai Dranphat, Computer Engineering?"
Snap
As the gang resumed their midday meal, a voice rose above, prompting all to turn snap in unison, beholding... a Phîi Tom (or perhaps not?).
The speaker, likely a second-year Phîi, had a bloody fucking youthful face. Clad in a male student uniform, his slender frame reached perhaps Sun's nose. His fair face, framed by a short, layered, golden-brown haircut, was not quite handsome but rather beautiful, with a small mouth and prominent nose. Yet, arms crossed tightly, he seemed more intent on confrontation than inquiry, prompting Sun to whistle.
Pity, so beautiful, yet he seeks to be a Phîi Tom, and bloody fucking fails to appear manly. A shame.
"What business has the beautiful Phîi with Nai Dranphat, Computer Engineering, Khrap?"
Âi-fresh-mushroom Sun!
Dear swore he flinched instantly as his troublemaking friend spoke, calling the Phîi beautiful and winking, an act that, even after years of friendship, made him wish to shove him. Phîi's eyebrow twitched. Look, his eyebrow twitches!
Yet the provoked Phîi remained composed, uncrossing his arms and offering a broad smile. "Have you ever met a Phîi's foot?"
"Good Lord, beautiful and fierce!" Do not entangle me, Sun. Let me muse quietly alone.
Dear wished to say this but managed only a strained smile to the Phîi, who seemed ready to seize Sun's collar. Sun, undaunted, grinned broadly and leaned closer. "I have not met a Phîi's foot, but beautiful ones? I have bested more than I can count, Khrap."
"You!" The Phîi before him flushed with rage, his face red, but a friend restrained his arm. Was Sun fearful? Not at all. Laughing loudly, he said lightly, "Come, Phîi, don't be so grave. I see a beautiful person and greet them for fortune's sake."
"Are you joking with me?"
"No, Khrap. Since memory serves, I have had no friend as beautiful as you, Phîi..."
Clasp
"Âi Sun, stop! Âi Shin, stuff your foot in his mouth... I am Nai Dranphat, Phîi, Khrap," Dear said, seeing peril, seizing his friend's arm as he leaned toward a blow, stepping forward with a dry smile, raising hands in a wai. Pray, take no issue with this damned nuisance.
Sun merely raised an eyebrow.
Whoosh
"Good Lord, Âi Sun!"
"Short one, be silent. I am talking with the Phîi," Sun said, pressing Dear's head down, clearing the way to face the beautiful Phîi, restrained by a young woman grasping his arm and a young man holding his shoulder.
I am no seeker of strife, Khrap. But seeing the Phîi scowl, I wished to ease his tension (?).
"Calm yourself, Ryu. This is the middle of the restaurant's. Would you quarrel with a Nong?" said the young woman, far calmer, stroking the Phîi's arm, causing Ryu to grimace but visibly relent. Indeed, in the restaurant's heart, a scene was unworthy.
Sun, surprised, raised his eyebrows, his gaze falling on the clasped hands of the two Phîi, prompting another whistle. "What, are you two Phîi romantic partners? Alas, two fewer beautiful ones."
Âi Sun, stop, I beg. Do you court a beating from the beautiful ones?
Dear could only think this, shaking free from Sun's broad hand, sidestepping to stand by Âi Shin, who, hands in pockets, watched impassively. I wager he would not intervene. But in a brawl, his fierce eyes... he would be first to leap.
Yet this thought reached not Sun, who winked at the young woman named Phim, exuding charm. "Ryu, come, the Nong but teases," Phim said, shaking Ryu's arm gently, as if coaxing calm. But this seemed to stoke Ryu's ire further.
"Teasing, confound it! He provokes us, Phim!"
"Yet you are truly beautiful, Ryu," Phim said.
"Âi Phim!"
"Good Lord, Phîi Phim, well spoken! I shower you with praise, Khrap!" Sun laughed heartily, delighted at Phim's support. Ryu roared in fury, almost ready to devour Phim. Unsated, Sun mimicked rapid mouse clicks, further annoying Ryu.
When his eyes gleam, bloody fucking hell, it is sport to tease.
"By the way, I am Sun, Phîi, a first-year in Computer Engineering. Pleased to meet so beautiful a..."
Clasp
"Stop calling me beautiful, you damned nuisance! I am a young man! Do you gaze with fish eyes to call me thus? You short-sighted fool!" Ryu, patience spent, shook free from his friend's grasp, seized Sun's collar with utmost exasperation, and roared, drawing half the restaurant's eyes in a snap.
Sun, unperturbed, gently pried the hand from his collar, though Ryu held fast. "Your Adam's apple almost blinds me. How could I know you were a young man?" These words calmed Ryu, loosening his grip, allowing Sun to free the (oddly soft) hand. But before calm prevailed, Sun's troublesome mouth spoke again. "Yet... you are a beautiful young man. Fret not, Phîi. Many young men are beautiful now. I am modern minded; I accept it."
Dear swore at that moment, I shall forsake this friendship!
"Hmph, Âi Sun stole my words," Âi Shin muttered, pleased, prompting Dear to ponder gravely, Must I seek new companions, change gangs, distance myself from them?
Meanwhile, the beautiful young man, enraged to a flushed face, temples throbbing, eyes gleaming, precipitated the ensuing event.
Crash!
"Perish, you impudent Nong!"
A warm fist, without warning, struck Sun's, the first-year's radiant sun, cheek, felling his tall frame. Fortunately, Âi Shin, anticipating, caught him amid Ryu's thunderous shout, silencing the restaurant.
Snap
"And you..."
"Yes... Khrap!" Dear started when Ryu, having struck Sun, turned snap with eyes almost devouring him, prompting a swift reply. Ryu grinned broadly, an expression making Dear wish to mutter, Cruel Phîi, I have said nothing.
"I am Ryu, your second-year Phîi Rahad. This evening, post-cheer team, at half past seven, meet me in front of the building. Phîi Boem bids today's first drink, hee, I shall make you crawl as a dog! And this is a Phîi's command: forsake your friend!" Ryu, not merely cruel, seemed to vent his wrath on Dear. Finishing, he stormed off, Phim pursuing, while the other young man laughed.
"You are bold, provoking Âi Ryu thus. His temper is fiery," the standing Phîi said amusedly, eyeing Sun, who, releasing his cheek, groaned softly.
"Good Lord, it pains me. I did not think he would truly strike," Sun replied.
I swear by all of Nai Dranphat, he deserved a double-footed thrashing, not one blow.
"I apologize for him. Âi Ryu dislikes being called beautiful. Our faculty abounds with young men. Last year, many, peers and seniors, courted him, so he mislikes being likened to a young woman. I am Nut, and frankly, I admire your irksome demeanor," Nut said, laughing, exposing his friend, patting Sun's shoulder twice, then departing casually.
Sun paused, then laughed loudly. "Ha, ha, ha... Good Lord, it hurts! My face will surely bruise come tomorrow."
"It serves you right. What possessed you to antagonize him?" No sympathy remained, only deserved retribution. Dear pushed Sun's head firmly, yet with kindness, took an empty glass with ice, poured it onto a handkerchief with great reluctance, and offered it.
"Here, so it doesn't swell," he said. Sun took it, dabbing his cheek.
"Concerned for Phîi Sun, Nong Dear?"
Pluck
"You damned nuisance! I should have bid Phîi Ryu strike again!" Dear said, pushing the laughing, flinching Sun's head, vexed, before slumping to his seat. Âi Shin sat opposite.
"What will you do? A Phîi's command to part with your romantic partner?" Âi Shin jested, prompting Dear to glare.
"Must I proclaim until my mouth tears that we are not romantic partners?"
"Yet you and he may have torn elsewhere," Âi Shin said, smirking disbelievingly, seizing Sun's glass to drink noisily. My coin, Sun has repaid me nothing. He waved the glass, patting Dear's shoulder firmly. "Friends, yet you know my thirst without asking... I am modern minded, I accept it... I must go to my chamber; I need to relieve myself," he said, slinging his backpack and striding from the restaurant, hands in pockets, exuding charm, making Dear wish to hurl the glass at his back.
Your need to relieve makes young women's eyes heart-shaped, you damned poser!
"Âi Sun, I ask earnestly, why provoke the Phîi?"
"I did not. He was beautiful. My heart and mouth align; beautiful is beautiful, I but praised... And you, will you forsake me? How shall I tell my sister? She will chide me for parting with you," Sun said, his initial words fair, but his complain loudly, as if spurned, deeply irked Dear.
"I would forsake you for your mouth alone. Stop jesting, clear the plates," Dear said, pouting, accustomed to Sun's troublesome tongue, pushing his unfinished rice to him, then noticing something.
Âi Shin, you feigned need to avoid clearing plates, did you not? Answer me!
"My cheek pains me. See, it will bruise. You clear them. I stacked plates and glasses; discard them," Sun said, presenting neatly stacked plates and glasses, clutching his cheek in complain loudly, prompting Dear to grimace.
"Ever me. With you both, it is ever me," he grumbled, yet rose, taking plates and glasses to the restaurant's collection corner, amid Sun's stopless laughter.
Âi Dear complains, yet he is the softest-hearted among us, with a truly noble character. Is it any wonder he must care for him specially?
Sun turned to another part of the restaurant, where another had stormed off, rubbing his cheek.
How to repay this blow... Shall I antagonize him endlessly? Hee.
Within the vast team hall, the broad expanse brimmed with over a thousand Engineering students, seated in orderly rows. Before the grand stage stood Phîi with bloody fucking fierce faces, clad in black, red, and shop shirts, aligned in ranks. At the rear, a large stand held Phîi from various years observing the cheer team meeting.
Dear, seated mid-hall, far right, back erect, gazed blankly forward, heeding little of the Phîi's words, for in stillness, his mind... reverted to yesterday.
Why did Phîi Porsche kiss me? I truly don't understand.
Nor do I fathom why I fled him. Perhaps Phîi Porsche intended no kiss, his lips merely grazed mine as he examined my eyes... Perhaps, Dear thought.
This notion sank his heart. Not that Phîi Porsche might not have intended the kiss, but his flight to his chamber seemed an avoidance, when... I could have laughed and ended it.
What to do? Why didn't I think last night? How shall I face Phîi Porsche now?
"You!"
Alas, what to do, Dear? This eve, I must meet Phîi Porsche.
"You, at the far right!"
Or shall Jae Dream fetch me? Indeed, it is Friday; I have not spoken with Jae.
"You!"
Crash
Clasp
"What... blast it," Dear said.
While Dear's mind wandered, a Phîi's shout from the stage resounded through the hall. Yet he, distracted, did not notice the stopped singing, nor that all turned snap to him in unison.
Still lost in thought, he realized only when his shoulder was seized, looking up to... start violently.
Good Lord, the Phîi wák in black!
"Yes... Khrap!" Dear said softly, realizing all eyes were upon him. Most crucially, the Phîi with a thick beard, dark eyes gleaming fearsomely, made him tremble.
[[Translator's Note: In Thai college culture, พี่ว้าก (Phîi wák) refers to senior students who lead with loud, spirited authority during hazing or orientation activities; เฮดว้าก (Head wák) is the head senior leading these events, often the most commanding figure; and พี่ระเบียบ (Phîi ra-bìap) denotes seniors responsible for maintaining discipline and order, ensuring activities run smoothly with a focus on structure rather than intensity.]]
Ryu released the nudged shoulder and shouted, "You! Do you relish exploiting your peers? They sing earnestly, yet you sit idle!" Dear's face flushed when the fearsome Phîi's hand pointed, marking him as idle. "I declare, in this cheer team hall, I will reign. I bid you sing, you sing. No wandering thoughts, no exploiting others. Reflect on others' efforts and your own... Turn not! Face forward! Did I bid you gaze at the idle Nong? Turn!" The black-clad Phîi roared, directing murmuring first-years to turn snap forward, yet... scolded Dear politely.
The words, though courteous, bore a contemptuous tone, making Dear's face burn.
He looked up, meeting a piercing gaze as if he had erred gravely, then lowered his eyes swiftly.
"Your name?"
"D... Nai Dranphat, Khrap."
"Then mark this, Nai Dranphat. Your idleness troubles your entire year," said the tall Phîi in faded jeans and black shirt, known university-wide as the fiercest Phîi wák of Engineering—meet them, avoid eye contact, avoid them—his strong voice and eyes tenfold fiercer than Ryu's at noon, prompting Dear to murmur.
"I beg pardon, Khrap," he said, his remorseful tone prompting a brief glance from Ryu.
"Face forward. Did I bid you speak?" the deep, fearsome voice commanded. Ryu ascended the stage, signaling juniors to proceed amid the tense air he wrought. Dear, first scolded, felt his face burn.
Sun, beside him, gritted his teeth. "Who do you think you are, berating my friend?" he muttered, though Dear wished to silence him, hindered by Ryu's fierce gaze, forcing him to sit erect, more attentive. For hours thence, the black-clad Phîi cowed the year, likely earning their enmity.
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