Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
~~~
Shin was thinking about yesterday's events. He thought about it until he could barely sleep. It wasn't that he had inadvertently fallen for some charm of Âi-crazy-restless-senior; he was specifically thinking about the words he had said to Phîi Oat's face.
"Phîi is even more pitiful than I thought."
These were the words he had said to Phîi Oat's face, but they had made him reflect. The smiles and the laughter he had once directed at the senior had completely faded, and it was not because he felt guilty for having insulted him, but because he was taking these very words and turning them back on himself.
Is Phîi Oat pitiful, or are you the pitiful one, Âi Shin?
Shin admitted that ever since his former romantic partner had gotten involved with his former best friend, he had stopped believing in love. He did not believe in trust. He did not believe that two people could love or like each other just by gazing from afar, then confessing, dating, loving each other, and having a happy ending. He had discarded those thoughts from his mind ever since the incident happened.
But hearing what Phîi Oat said to him yesterday was making him form a new thought. Could a person remain steadfast with someone else, even when knowing there was no hope?
The moment Shin learned his former romantic partner had fallen out of love, learned of the infidelity, he had gone to clarify things, and then he had ended everything, all of it, even though his heart still could not forget the image of that spoiled little one who had spoken up to say they liked him. But he had chosen to find an escape for himself by sleeping with anyone, sleeping with them even though he knew initially it was just a substitute image.
His acting despicably toward certain people was to compensate for the things he had said to his former romantic partner's face, and it was not the same for Phîi Oat.
Because your situation and his are different, you dim-wit Shin. Phîi Oat bloody fucking is just a pitiful person who secretly likes someone else's romantic partner.
Thump.
Shin clenched his fist a little tighter. Even if some things were different, there were many things that were similar. And what interested him so much that he could not dismiss this from his head was... the steadfastness.
The look in the senior's eyes and his tone of voice when he spoke to him showed just how steadfast this man was.
Even though he knew it was hopeless, even though he knew his heart was already broken, he would not consent to get involved with anyone until he had truly gotten over it. And that was making Shin respect him.
Was Phîi Oat a sincere person... or just a fool trying to act like a good person?
That was the point that made him interested in this senior.
If... Shin was asking himself... if he wanted to try to prove what he was thinking... it probably would not be too wrong.
Crack.
"Âi Shin, are you going to eat that? Help me out." But then the clear voice of a certain person pulled the one lost in his thoughts to look up. He then found that he was currently at a restaurant near the university, where they had dragged each other out to find something to eat before returning for afternoon classes. And of course, what he saw before him was... the bright and sincere smile of Âi'friend who was the topic of discussion.
Shin looked quietly at Âi Dear's face. He looked at everything from his eyebrows, eyes, nose, to his mouth. He admitted that his fair face and red lips were attractive. Furthermore, those sincere, harmless eyes that made one fear someone might trick him and sell it off had already made him fond of him.
It was no surprise that someone like this could attract a man like that.
"Why are you looking at my face?" Âi Dear began to look suspicious as he stared at it quietly.
"You have an attractive face." As soon as the compliment ended, the person with the attractive face widened its eyes, then made a horrified expression. It immediately moved away from him. Its eyes clearly said, 'Don't you dare play like this with me. I have Phîi Porsche only. Even if you are gay, and even if I like men, don't even think about messing with me.'
See? Âi Dear was so transparent that just by observing his demeanor, expression, and the look in his eyes, I could tell what he was thinking.
"No wonder Phîi Porsche left marks all over your neck."
Thump.
"Shit!" Âi Dear swore softly. Both its hands covered its own neck, its student uniform shirt having fallen open immediately. His cheeks began to redden. His eyes darted around evasively, and then he turned sharply to look at his other close friend, who was eating rice and laughing at its phone.
"Âi Sun, is it true?" the short friend whispered softly, then peeked at his shirt collar to show the other friend. The friend from the Faculty of Engineering turned to look, then turned back to make eye contact with him, before turning to look at Âi Dear again.
"Yeah, last night was intense... but it figures it would be intense. Phîi Porsche is that big. Probably pinned each other all night."
"You goose!" The person with the attractive face muttered softly. Both its hands went back to clutching its student uniform shirt collar. It made as if to button the top button, if only it weren't for the fact that it hadn't brought a necktie, let-me-die.
Then, the short friend was smart enough to pick up its phone, turn on the camera, and act like it was going to look at its own neck. Sun turned to make eye contact with him, and then...
Whack.
They each raised a fist and lightly punched each other, accompanied by....
"Teasing a water buffalo is so easy. No matter how many times you tease it, it's still... a water buffalo." With the final word, Sun leaned in to bump its head against the ear of the person who had just raised the camera. This made Dear's mouth drop open. The hand holding the phone dropped heavily to its side. his eyes widened, and Dear turned sharply to look at him as he shrugged at him.
"You guys tricked me!!"
"Yeah, we never said we were telling the truth. You're the one who got flustered," Shin said simply, making the little friend fluster. He then swatted at Sun's head again. But the one who got hit just laughed happily, and even reached out to ruffle Âi Dear's head back.
"Do you guys have a lot of fun teasing me?!"
"Fun!!!" Of course, both he and Sun answered in unison. To be honest, in this lifetime, since he was born, teasing anyone had never been as fun as teasing Âi Dear. What the damned-animal kind of person was he, dancing to every tune, unable to control his emotions, showing exactly what he felt? And he must be so endearing that so many people had come to like him.
Hmm, I'm thinking about this again.
Thump.
"I'm not letting you eat anymore! I'll eat it myself!!" Then the person born for him to tease pulled the plate, which Shin just now saw contained gyoza, back toward itself, with a slightly thoughtful expression.
Whoosh.
However, at the moment the short friend suddenly became a Misser, Shin raised his fork, stabbed it into the middle of a gyoza, lifted it up to look at, and then turned to meet the irritated gaze of the little friend.
"You... if I were to take something my friend doesn't want anymore, I'm not in the wrong, right?"
"You mean the gyoza? Then you're wrong! Because I'm not letting you eat it anymore. You guys tricked me!" Having said that, Dear pulled the plate back. But the half-blood firmly held onto the edge of the plate and asked in a slightly more serious voice.
"I'm asking for real... if you don't want it, I'm calling it now." The look of extreme desire to eat on the face of the person with half samurai blood in his veins who couldn't resist food from his homeland (wait, what does samurai have to do with gyoza, what the damned-animal?) made Dear relent and let go of the plate, because really, it couldn't eat anymore anyway.
"Fine, you can have it. But when we pay, you're splitting it with me."
"I could even treat you."
"You said it, you half-blood."
"Yeah, you don't need to keep repeating it," Shin said with an annoyed tone, but it made the person who didn't have to pay for lunch smile brightly. He slid the plate in front of the person who was once again shoving food into his mouth. This made Sun lean in too, then push forward its own plate of rice that only had two piles of vegetables left.
"Hey, friends, help me out. And treat me too, okay?"
"Have you ever eaten a size 42 shoe for lunch?" Shin said with a smile, but the smile seemed to make Sun pull its plate back immediately. It laughed loudly, then lowered its voice to whisper with a pleading expression.
"You have to understand, right now I have a Mia to take care of. If I can be frugal, I have to be frugal."
"If you quit drinking, you'd probably have money left to take care of your Mia," Dear, who was sipping its drink, interjected, making the one whose hobby was drinking bare its teeth at him. He raised a hand to scratch his head crack crack, seeming to agree with his friend's words quite a bit, but still argued in the manner of someone who likes to socialize.
"I have to build connections, you have to network with the locals. So when I graduate, I can get a good job with good pay to take care of my Mia."
"You salad! You're only in your first year, first semester. That reason is utterly pathetic!"
The sight of the two friends arguing just made Shin laugh continuously. His hand continued to stab the remaining gyoza from his friend into his mouth without any disgust, and he also looked at the little friend smiling, all while telling himself in his heart.
I consider that I've called it now, Âi Dear.
***
"Âi Oat, how are you? Are you dead yet?"
"Are you worried about me or competing with me? For sure."
Oat, who had just returned from the hospital this morning, answered in a listless voice and then slumped into a seat in the department room that his female friends hurried to offer him. Each of them came over to crowd around and ask with concern upon seeing his condition, walking with a slight limp. Furthermore, a large gauze pad was stuck on his temple, not to mention the fresh wounds on his arm that protruded from his shop shirt and were bandaged up.
In this condition, it was worrisome, after all.
"How are you, man? I heard about it from Âi Sai-fah. I was so worried about you."
"I'm fine, Chem. Just a minor bike fall."
"Hah, a bike fall." Âi Sai-fah made a snorting sound. Its expression looked furious, making him have to shoot a warning glance its way. He then turned to answer the group of both male and female friends who had gathered to stare at him like he was a strange object.
"Why didn't you get a cast? I even brought a marker to write on your cast."
"I'm not that badly hurt."
"It's Âi Sai-fah's fault. He said you had a bike fall, hit your head, broke your leg, fractured your arm, had to stay in the hospital. We were planning to go visit you in a group, but you showed up here first."
Oat turned to look at his close friend with an accusatory gaze. He gave a dry smile, raising its hand to shoulder level in a 'my bad' gesture for its own thoughtless exaggeration.
I was worried about you, so I had to make the friends worry a lot too.
"Yeah, so how did it go? You saw the doctor, what did the doctor say?"
"Everything is fine. Just some bruises. They'll heal soon." The former Head wák confirmed again, making the group of friends, including several juniors who had gathered around, relax. They then dispersed to continue with the tasks they had left unfinished before he arrived. Only Âi Sai-fah moved to stand beside him and said in a strong voice.
"It was that shit-lizard Max, right?"
"Yeah." Oat said in a strong voice, lowering his voice as he didn't want others to know he had a hobby of racing bikes. And as if that answer made the listener clench its fist tightly.
"When you called me this morning, Âi Payu was really angry. He said he would go teach that goose a lesson and wouldn't let it come to the track again, including his friends either...."
"Tell Âi Payu it's not necessary."
Thud.
"He played a damned-animal trick on you like this, and you're still being nice to it?!" Sai-fah whispered in protest, acting like he disagreed, making the listener just shake his head. He looked down at his own wounds before raising a smile at the corner of his mouth. However, his eyes clearly reflected anger no less than its own, but he did not think the same as his friend.
"If Âi Payu does that, it will accuse you guys of being a damned-animal pack, taking sides with your own group. And then he will accuse me of being a coward; it might even say I lost my nerve and then went to pick a fight and slander them." Oat said what he thought, and that made the listener cool down a bit. In his heart, he really wanted to gather a group and beat up those guys too.
But playing outside the rules was not in Oat's nature.
"So what are you going to do?" At the question, the listener was silent for a moment. He looked at his own wounds, assessing them, then said calmly.
"Next week... tell him I will challenge him at the track. If I am for real... I will not show my face at the track as he demands."
Sai-fah wanted to curse, but seeing the look in his friend's eyes, it instead asked back.
"And if he loses..."
"I want an apology."
"Is that all?!" The listener protested a bit. If it weren't for the fact that his friend turned to look him in the eye and said in a heavy tone.
"In front of everyone!" Only that made the listener smile. An apology in front of everyone was like taking the dignity it held so highly and placing it at Oat's feet. Therefore, Sai-fah nodded and said simply.
"I'll tell Âi Payu myself... Heh heh, this will be fun. A top racer like you agreeing to race against a backstabbing damned-animal like them. They are going to get the loss it deserves this time." The listener said simply.
Oat was not being careless in thinking that he had to win no matter what; he was just making a bet and was ready to follow through on what he said. But everything had to be on the track, not like yesterday.
Yesterday, he also knew he had been too impulsive in agreeing to race them.
Thud.
"Hey, Âi Sai-fah."
"Yeah?" The one who was about to call his twin brother acknowledged in its throat. The one who called him then put on a slightly still expression before asking in a heavy voice.
"Have you ever talked with a first-year youth named Chonnon?"
"Who? Sounds familiar."
"The half-blood with red hair named Shin." When his friend elaborated a bit more, the listener cried 'Aha!' and nodded emphatically, then turned to look as if to ask 'why'.
"What is that youth like?" Oat admitted he was intrigued by what that junior did yesterday.
It wasn't that he regretted being rejected; he just didn't understand, starting from the incident that youth caused in the faculty's restroom, and also calling him a dim-wit. That day, he thought it was probably protecting Dear. Even though yesterday's words were still insulting and told him to get over it, the tone of voice... carried a challenge.
Maybe it was one of his own bad traits... he actually liked a challenge.
Oat might be disciplined and have his own rules, but no one knew that he liked almost every type of extreme sport, and anything that was dangerous. Whenever there was something to try, he wanted to try it. And that youth named Chonnon was dangerous... enough to pique his interest.
"I don't know. I think he's probably brave or reckless. Judging from how he challenged you in the middle of the cheer... Hey, Dok Khem, beautiful Dok Khem, ma'am." Then Sai-fah turned to call another female friend who turned to look, making a strange face at the form of address, but after a moment she smiled sweetly.
"Yes, sir, Nai Catfish-Hits-the-Dam, why are you calling a beautiful person?"
"Pfft, you are a beautiful person, but I'm a catfish-hitting-the-dam?!" Sai-fah protested laughingly before beckoning for the female friend to step closer.
"Hahaha, I'm joking. You are so exceedingly handsome that no one can see it, why did you call me?"
"Yeah, you're beautiful to death... I want to ask about a first-year youth named Shin..."
"Why? What does my dear Shin have to do with you?"
As soon as the junior's name was mentioned, the listener's eyes lit up. She pulled a chair over to sit beside them, not a trace of ladylike demeanor left, making Sai-fah laugh heh heh and point at Oat, who was sitting quietly.
"Oat is getting interested."
"Interested? Don't tell me, Oat, you're the type..."
"It's not like that. I'm just interested in what he's like. We happened to talk a little." Oat denied immediately, making the listener nod emphatically and then put on a dreamy expression, thinking of the super cool red-headed junior whose notorious reputation (notorious is right) had spread all over the faculty, to the point that even the Agro guys knew about him.
"He's very handsome. He's extremely good-looking. And he has red hair, which suits him so well. The first time I saw him, I almost screamed in his face. His face clearly shows he's from a wealthy family. Tall, good body, pierced ears too. Wears a small ear stud. Oh, it's so cute..." As his friend rambled on, Sai-fah looked over with a pitying expression, acting like it was going to raise a hand to its forehead.
"You are so gay."
"It's not just me. That one, and that one too... even those who are called half-ghost, half-human are screaming about him. He has a bit of a foul mouth, but this kind of look is what the girls like. He looks handsomely bad. But it's a pity about one thing..." Then the speaker let out another sigh, as she had happened to hear some inside news.
"What?" Oat asked with interest, making the storyteller look left and right before moving closer.
"It seems like he's not interested in women. I heard several people have confessed to him, but he rejected every one. Some he was even polite to, going so far as to say he wouldn't date them, but if it was a one-night stand, he'd agree..." The storyteller continued, enjoying the gossip, unlike Oat, who immediately frowned, displeased by what he heard.
Are you a horny type or what, asking only about such matters?
"So we concluded that he's probably gay."
They concluded correctly. Oat thought to himself, listening to his friend continue.
"But you know, even though many people know, his popularity hasn't decreased at all. On the contrary, it seems like he's become even more famous. The girls are all guessing who his real type is. I truly believe if it's a man, it must be the petite type, fair face, red lips. Oh, some even guess it might be an insincere close friend, that Shin likes Dear or something like that." The storyteller spoke with relish, but it made Oat go still immediately. His loosely clenched hand tightened.
"That's not it."
"Right?! You think like me, Oat. I think if Shin liked Dear, he would have pinned him down and made him his Mia by now... but then again, maybe not." Dok Khem said happily, getting more into gossiping about this, and that made Sai-fah laugh loudly.
"You read too many novels, the type where the handsome gay has to be paired with the cute gay. In real life, it's just two men crossing swords."
"Don't ruin my dreams, you catfish-face!" the young woman said in a shrill voice, acting like she would hit Sai-fah, making the listeners laugh loudly. They shrugged, then turned to look at their close friend who had gone quiet.
"So what do you think, Oat?"
"I don't know anything about that... I'm going to the restroom first." Having said that, Oat stood up and walked out of the room immediately, leaving the two to turn and look at each other, before Sai-fah asked jokingly.
"Seriously, if you call me a catfish, what do you call my twin?"
"Payu? The most handsome divine prince of the Architecture Faculty, of course."
"You're biased!!"
"Yes! If I were obvious about it, it wouldn't be beautiful, would it, Nai Catfish?" Having said that, the young woman stood up to continue with the tasks she had left unfinished, which Sai-fah watched her go before sighing slightly and turning to look in the direction his friend had disappeared.
Oat is acting strange. If it's not about the junior named Dear, then it must be about that half-blood youth.
The person who could somewhat see that his friend had secretly come to like a first-year youth thought to himself and then sighed again. If he didn't intend to tell, then it didn't intend to ask either. That bloody fucking Oat was more silently stubborn than anyone he had ever known.
***
Even though Purin had told Dear in a strong voice not to pay any attention to Patty, in reality, he was still secretly wary that this young woman might do something, because his experience from the time they were involved told him.... Patty was a young woman who did not let go.
Sigh. "I shouldn't have been soft-hearted, Âi Porsche!" The young man dropped himself onto the leather chair inside the office in the main company headquarters building. He raised one hand to massage his temple, thinking back to several years ago.
'Is it not possible, Phîi Porsche? You can just try dating me. I really like you. If you try dating me and don't like it, I won't demand anything. I just ask for a chance for us to try dating, that's all.'
"How could I have been so gullible?" Purin muttered to himself. That promise not to demand anything had turned into the mess it was today. But then again, it wasn't strange, because at that time he just wanted any young woman who might make him stop thinking about Dream. Anyone would do... but he really shouldn't have agreed.
Knock knock knock.
Gulp.
"What's up, son?" The one lost in his own thoughts started slightly as the office door swung open without warning, before his Phô stepped in with a broad smile, making him have to straighten his sitting posture. He smiled at Sakda Akramethakorn, the great patriarch of this empire.
"Do you need something, Phô?" The young man adjusted his expression to normal, hiding his troubled thoughts inside. He couldn't help but think that Patty might have brought this matter to his Phô.
Purin had never brought any young woman home to introduce to his family, but he thought Patty must have a way to contact his family.
"Nothing much. Just wanted to ask if you're prepared and ready." The middle-aged man asked cheerfully, even though he knew well just how responsible his eldest son was. That shareholders' meeting in the next half hour probably wouldn't be too much for this energetic son of his.
"I'm ready. I don't think Phô came just to ask me this."
"Yeah, actually, your Mâe asked me to ask if you're coming home this week. Right now, your Mâe and Dream are closer than anything. Maybe it's because Dear is living with you. And you don't talk much, so your Mâe goes to ask Dream instead." Sakda said jokingly, but it made the listener go still for a moment. His sharp eyes almost narrowed.
Usually, Phô never mentions Dear or Dream. Why did he bring it up today?
You're needlessly worrying, Porsche.
"I am returning. Dear didn't return last week, so this week I plan to return with my Nong."
"Heh heh, don't act so much like Dear's Phii. You'll end up like Lex, always complaining that his Phii is constantly worrying about him."
Thud.
Purin went still immediately at the word 'Phiir'. He looked at his Phô, who was about to step out of the office, until he had to call out.
"Phô."
"What is it?" The Phô turned to look, and that made Purin, who was about to say something, pause for a moment.
It's... it's not time yet.
"I was going to say, see you in the meeting room. And if I oppose anything, please don't be angry."
"That's insulting, Porsche. Your Phô is modern-minded and accepts different opinions... heh heh, but it depends on whether your reasoning is sound or not." Having said that, the Phô stepped out of the room in good spirits, without any suspicious demeanor, making the son just smile tensely. Because just now... he had almost said it.
He had almost said that Dear was not just someone he saw as a Nong anymore. But anyway, this was not the suitable place to speak of such an important matter at all.
Buzz buzz.
But then, the phone lying on the desk vibrated strongly, making him grab it. An unfamiliar number, but one he had memorized, appeared on the screen, making the young man put on a tense smile. He thought quietly for just a moment, then decided to answer.
At least he would find out what Patty wanted.
"Hello."
[Porsche, this is Patty.]
"Yes." The young man acknowledged flatly, neither pleased nor displeased, making the other end of the line go silent.
[Patty wants to talk to you... alone.]
"That's not necessary." Then Purin retorted immediately, making it clear he had no intention of meeting the young woman again, making the other end of the line press its lips tightly together before composing itself and continuing in a superior tone.
[Is that so? Don't forget, Porsche, that I knows something... I don't think you want this to get out, do you?]
"I don't care."
[But your parents and siblings must care. Would you like Patty to try telling someone close to you? Hmm, like my boss, for instance. Dol would be surprised, wouldn't he, that his high school friend has turned to like a young man instead of a young woman?]
"Is Patty threatening me?" The young man clenched his fist tighter, suppressing the urge to yell in this young woman's face, because that was not his nature. His brain worked rapidly on how to fix this. Yes, even though he was prepared to accept the consequences of his own actions, to accept the gazes of those around him, these things had to come from his mouth, not from an outsider.
And of course, Dear had to agree; it shouldn't be coerced like this.
[You could say that. Yes, I am threatening, and I can really do it.]
"Then what do you want?"
[To meet with you alone, of course.]
The listener thought quietly for a moment before saying in a calm voice, "Agreed. Where do you want me to meet?" However, the one prepared to negotiate had to go silent when the other end of the line laughed brightly.
[Not right now. When I want to talk, I will call to tell you the time and place.... Goodbye.]
The other end hung up, but Purin still held the phone in the same position. His dark eyebrows furrowed tightly together in anger at being threatened, because this meant Patty was gaining the upper hand over him, and someone like him hated being in an inferior position.
Knock knock knock.
But then, a light knocking sound was heard, making the one thinking heavily come to his senses. He turned to look at the female secretary who stepped in and reminded him.
"Khun Purin, it's almost time."
"Give me five minutes. I'll follow shortly." The young man said in a strong voice, making the other party withdraw first. Meanwhile, he himself stood up, preparing to enter the meeting, even though this matter was still filling his head completely.
How should he handle this without dragging Dear into it?
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