Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
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As the old saying goes, when entering the jungle, don't ask for tigers; when on a boat, don't speak of crocodiles... But he, damn it, didn't remember. He had to go and mention 'Khun Underwear' last Saturday. Well, how about that? The real deal, top and bottom, is right in front of him now!
"Nong Dear, Nong Dear! This Khun is here to see Khun Purin!"
Dear could swear he had just gotten off the motorcycle taxi less than forty seconds ago. As he walked into the skyscraper, he was called over by Phîi Fon. When he turned to look, surprised at who "this Khun" was, wondering why someone looking for Phîi Porsche would be sitting around downstairs like a corpse, the answer hit him right in the head, hard enough to knock him out.
"Oh, you're Phîi Dream's Nong, aren't you? Why are you here?"
Dear could only open his mouth slightly, looking at the young woman sitting prominently on the sofa set. She had walked in gracefully when Phîi Fon called out to him. Then, the person in front of him pulled her sunglasses down a bit in surprise, making him snap his head back to look at Phîi Fon, blinking his eyes rapidly, thinking only...
It's over! My liiiiiiife! Has the incubation period ended already?!
The puppy-faced boy made an expression halfway to crying while blinking forcefully, as if sending a signal to his usual Phîi-downstairs to reject it somehow, to say that he and Phîi Porsche, bloody fucking hell, weren't related like they were from the same sheet of dough, or living in the same room or anything like that.
But it seemed Phîi Fon was slow-witted today, because the woman smiled sweetly and said clearly, "Oh, it's just that Nong Dear lives in the same room as Khun Purin... Nong Dear, I called up to the room earlier but no one answered. I thought Khun Purin probably hadn't returned yet. Anyway, you know each other, right? Nong Dear, could you take Khun Purin's guest upstairs?" Phîi Fon, bloody fucking hell, gave a saccharine smile and tossed the huge responsibility to him, leaving Dear gaping.
Please, take this person far away from my sight, dear Nong Dear. She arrived, screeching that she wanted to meet Khun Purin. And with an unapproved guest, letting her upstairs would be against condo rules. But if you know each other... just take her, Nong.
Thump.
"Yes, we know each other. I and Nong Dear... know each other very well. Right, Nong Dear?" Dear could only flinch inwardly when Khun Patty grabbed his arm. Her slender figure, wearing stiletto heels that made her taller than him, bent down to meet his eyes, smiling sweetly at him. But her eyes... bloody fucking hell, forced him to 'know' her, crystal clear.
"Okay, that's good then. Please say hello to Khun Purin for me, Nong Dear."
Shoving the shit onto me, right in my face!
Dear clenched his fists tightly. Irritation began surging into his heart. He wanted to refuse and run straight up to the room, bloody fucking hell. But Khun Patty's hand held on tightly, as if afraid he would run away, coupled with his nature of being unable to refuse people (even though he wanted to refuse almost to death), so he reluctantly took the other party up the elevator to his floor.
"You didn't tell me before, Nong Dear, that you live in the same room as Phîi Porsche."
It's none of your business. Why look for lice to put on your own head, bringing an ex-girlfriend into your romantic partner's room?
Dear admitted he was more irritated now than he had ever been before. Yes, because he was soft-hearted, never had conflicts with anyone. He might complain a lot, but right now, he could only use his inherent, unchangeable nature to suppress all his feelings and reply in the most friendly tone he could muster.
"I'm just staying with Phîi Porsche."
"Oh, Phîi Dream sent you to be his eyes and ears, didn't she?" Patty sneered, crossing her arms confidently in an instant. If this youth was living with Phîi Porsche, it meant Phîi Dream... was far from his sight.
"Not at all. Jae Dream doesn't think anything like that. I'm just studying around here, so I'm staying with Phîi Porsche, that's all." He was trying to suppress his irritation, but his voice was still a little stiff.
However, it seemed the person beside him didn't care, as she was still figuring out how to deal with Darinphan, not knowing... she was being cursed out by the youth right now.
"It must be Dream who arranged it. She's the most controlling, always taking advantage of Phîi Porsche."
The young woman pouted in dissatisfaction, as if recalling past events where she had clashed with this senior.
Words that Dear could only stay silent about. He fidgeted, wanting to get out of this narrow elevator. He was dying. His brain was working rapidly.
It's good Phîi Porsche isn't here. I have to call and warn him that Phîi Porsche forbids bringing guests to the room. Even if I'm as dim-witted as Jae Dream says, I have to prevent these two from meeting!
It was rare for Dear to come up with a plan, so he smiled to himself a little. Even though he felt he was starting to get mean, somewhat like his sister, his instinct—whether male or female—was to be protective of his own person. It probably wasn't strange to say it outright... I'm protective, dammit!
Phîi Porsche is mine!
The puppy reaffirmed in his heart as the elevator doors opened, forcing him to step out quickly, leading the other young woman who was sweeping her satisfied gaze around. He managed to swipe the key card into the room, intending to get water for the guest and then slip into his room to execute his plan as quickly as possible.
Slam.
"Please," Dear said reluctantly, following etiquette. He took off his canvas shoes and placed them in the cabinet, then led the way into the room first. At that moment...
"Dear, no need to cook today. I went to the factory near Chonburi, so I bought some food for you."
...At the moment the person from the main bedroom stepped out, his tall frame wearing only a pair of long pants. On his head was a small towel he was using to dry his soaking wet hair. He didn't look up in time because he thought the only person who could enter was... his puppy.
But Purin had no idea that right now, his puppy was standing there gaping, looking at the person who stepped out with stunned eyes.
Didn't Phîi Fon say Phîi Porsche wasn't in the room?!
"I just found out now that this is how Porsche dresses at home."
Jolt.
The person drying his hair halted his hands immediately. His dark eyebrows furrowed, and he quickly pulled the towel off his head to see the most bizarre scene.
His Dear was making a face as if he was angry, and Patty... was standing dazzled in the middle of the room.
"How did Patty get here?" Purin exclaimed in surprise. Even though he knew beforehand that the young woman had his address, if he didn't permit her to come up, there was no way she could have come up. And now, what was this? Not only did she manage to come up, she was also with his puppy. He had to turn to look at Dear with a face full of question marks.
"Dear came back and happened to find Khun Patty waiting for Phîi Porsche downstairs. Phîi Fon said she called up but Phîi Porsche didn't answer." The red-mouthed youth said with a pout, his eyes resentful, making him quickly explain.
"I was taking a shower earlier." Of course, his current state answered the question well. Honestly, he wanted to turn back into the room to change his clothes, knowing he had to come back and face this young woman. But seeing Dear's face, he thought he had to deal with Âi'youth's feelings first.
Therefore, Purin stepped close to the small figure and gently bumped his head against his. His eyes and expression softened.
"I bought seafood for you. There's roasted pork too. My subordinate said this place is famous for being delicious. I saw it and thought that Dear would probably want to eat it." As he spoke, he bumped his head lightly again, as if appeasing him. And that made the listener feel a little better... emphasis on just a little.
"Phîi Porsche..." But then, the call from the uninvited guest, whom Purin had clearly shown he had no interest in hearing, rang out, forcing him to turn and look.
Pat.
"Phîi Porsche, your figure is as good as ever. No... it's even better than before..."
Let-me-die! Get your hand off my Phîi Porsche!
Dear gritted his teeth in his heart, watching Patty place her palm on the broad shoulder. Her eyes, sharply lined with eyeliner, looked at Phîi Porsche's cool physique with a gaze that made Dear, who had never hated any woman before, feel like finding something to poke her eyes out.
What does that look mean? Phîi Porsche isn't a pork omelet! You look like you want to devour him whole.
The pork omelet lover whined internally, really wanting to pull that hand away. And it seemed Purin knew, because the young man immediately removed the slender hand and gave a faint smile.
"Sorry, Patty. Let me change clothes first. As for Dear... come here." Actions that clearly showed this man had no interest in her made the fully confident young woman purse her lips tightly, frown sharply, and narrow her eyes slightly in displeasure, watching the broad back that pulled the other person into the room.
Who knows? They have a history. I don't believe there are no lingering feelings. No matter what, I must make Phîi turn his attention to me again! Patty thought.
Slam!
Thump.
"Don't be angry. Don't whine. Don't be sad either."
What the hell! He pulls me into a hug, but why is he forbidding me from doing this?!
I wanted to complain, alright? The moment the bedroom door closed, Phîi Porsche pulled me into a tight hug, but his deep voice forbade me until I wanted to sink my teeth into the flesh of his shoulder. If it weren't for the warm hand stroking my hair as if saying... I'm appeasing you.
"Dear can't be angry at me. Because I didn't bring Patty up myself. I didn't continue the relationship with Patty... right?" Adult-like reasoning that made the youth want to whine and say, so what? You didn't bring her up yourself, but she came to find Phîi Porsche.
"Are you saying it's my fault?!" He could only retort with a voice slightly stiffer than before, making Purin shake his head.
"I'm not blaming Dear like that at all. I just want to reassure Dear that I have nothing to do with Patty anymore. I don't think anything of her. And I will never think... okay?"
The listener pursed his lips tightly, wanting to say it's not okay, for Phîi Porsche to go out and tell her to leave. But he was still aware that he was the one who brought her up, so he could only stay silent, trying to calm down and think as Phîi Porsche said.
He admitted he didn't want to be seen as a foolish youth by Phîi Porsche.
"Mmm." He could only reply softly, making the listener smile slightly.
"Not sulking, right?" At first, he did want to sulk, but he was easily swayed. As soon as Phîi Porsche bent down and kissed the tip of his nose, his heart softened abruptly, and he could only nod.
"Dear isn't sulking. Hmph! Phîi Porsche, don't act like Dear is a girl." His mouth said that, but he felt good when Phîi Porsche laughed and pressed his lips to the tip of his nose again. He watched the person who pulled away to find a shirt to put on and made as if to step out to deal with the woman outside.
Thump.
"I really don't think anything of her, you know." Unable to resist, the youth, trying to be strong, held his hand a little, making Purin turn back to smile at him.
"Should I go tell Patty what Dear is to me?" That was all.
Dear immediately let go of his hand and shook his head frantically. "No, Phîi Porsche. Uh, let's go out. By now, she's probably walked around the room already." As he spoke, he looked at the person who stepped out of the room and then let out a huge sigh.
"No... I'm not jealous... I won't be foolishly jealous... calm down. Phîi Porsche doesn't like that Khun Underwear at all." In the end, he could only try to calm his turbulent heart down. Frankly, he had never felt like there was a huge pile of fire smoldering in his chest like this before. But as this woman stepped in, this youth was learning the word... jealousy.
I can't do it. Even though he said he wouldn't be jealous, wouldn't be protective, when it came down to it, Dear said frankly...
"What is Porsche doing now?"
***
"I work from home."
"And what does Phîi Porsche do?" Patty asked eagerly, leaning in close in a way that made Purin shift away a bit politely.
"I started from delivering documents as a youth."
"Giggle. With someone like Porsche, Patty wouldn't believe it. If there's a handsome youth delivering documents like this, Patty would wait to receive documents every day." The young woman said while giggling, her eyes sparkling with meaningful light. She knew the other party moved away, but she was skilled enough to follow without looking too bad.
The demeanor of the two people talking on the guest sofa set made Dear, who was holding two glasses of water, suppress his slight irritation.
Screech.
"Water," Dear said, placing both glasses down. Meanwhile, Patty turned to look at his face and smiled sweetly.
"Thank you.... Phîi Porsche, Nong Dear has such an attractive face, doesn't he? It makes Patty think of the old days..."
What does my face have to do with the past?
Dear's mouth itched intensely, but he still stood in the same spot as the other party mentioned him. And that made Patty turn to smile at the tall man, speaking with a playful, seemingly cute demeanor.
"Back when we were dating, Patty used to think, if Patty had a child with Phîi Porsche, what would our child look like? Thinking about it now, it would probably have an endearing face like Nong Dear's.... Phîi Porsche, what should we name our child if we had one? Your name is Porsche, Patty's name is Patty..."
"Potsy, of course."
Jolt.
While the young woman was skillfully—or rather, brazenly—connecting Dear's appearance to the past and the topic of children, even asking far ahead to the child's nickname, the person standing there with an itchy mouth couldn't take it anymore and blurted out without thinking, making Patty snap her head to look at him.
"That means 'home' in English, Nong Dear."
Yeah, I'm cursing you, that's what.
"Oh, really?... I didn't know. I saw the initials P.P. were the same." In his heart, he was shouting loudly, but on the outside, he could only say with an annoyed expression and then made as if to go back to the kitchen to find something to eat to relieve his frustration. Besides, Phîi Porsche was looking at his face with an amused expression.
Don't you dare laugh, you Phîi Porsche.
Purin looked at the puppy's resentful gaze, then turned back to look at the young woman beside him and spoke immediately.
"I never thought about children... and our affair is over, Patty... Did you come to see me for any business today?"
Ooh, clear, straight to the point. This is my Phîi Porsche!!!!
Dear couldn't help but smile immediately, meeting the sharp gaze that had been looking at him earlier, before the young man turned to the young woman beside him, who was visibly stunned. But after just a moment, Patty regained her composure, gave a soft smile, and then asked with a classic question, like a villainess in an evening soap opera.
"Patty knows our affair is over. But can't Phîi let Patty have the status of being siblings?"
I'm sure your idol must be the honey-trap type! Damn it, my Phîi Porsche is not Khun Phisut!
The puppy's face fell immediately. He was waiting too, to see how Phîi Porsche would answer. If it weren't for the fact that this woman glanced at him and asked in a tone that sounded like a request but with a clear intention to dismiss him.
"Can Phîi talk with Phîi Porsche for a moment, Nong Dear?" And what could Dear do except turn around and go back to the kitchen, even though he desperately wanted to know what they would talk about next, even if he heard Phîi Porsche's answer chasing after him.
"It's not like that. Anyway, Patty is my Nong."
Yeah, she's both your ex and your Nong. But you know what she wants to be to you now, right? Even a dim-wit like me can see it. And someone as bright and intelligent as you, if you can't figure it out, you should go dunk your head in a trash bin.
"Bloody fucking annoying!"
In the end, Dear could only mutter to himself, looking at the various bags of food Phîi Porsche had bought for him, until he had to rummage through them. Inside were sea bass with chili sauce, steamed crab, grilled prawns, roasted pork—things that, if he were in a good mood, he would have pounced on. But now, he could only bang the bags, grab a plate, and dish the food onto it.
After putting everything on plates, he could only sit on a small chair, frowning so hard his eyebrows almost tied into a bow.
"Why do I have to sit here? It's like I'm the mistress. I'm Phîi Porsche's real romantic partner!" The puppy clenched his fists tightly, grumbling to himself with no way to vent. And frankly, he didn't know how to deal with this woman either.
"Damn! I'll go play games then!" Saying that, he got up, intending to head straight to the bedroom. But as he had to pass through the living room, the voice of the woman he no longer felt like being a gentleman to rang out.
"Nong Dear, today Phîi will entrust my stomach to you for one meal. Nong Dear surely doesn't mind, right?"
"Patty."
"Yes, Phîi Porsche? Well, since Phîi Porsche sees Patty as a Nong, can't a Nong ask Phîi to treat her to a meal?"
Slam!
He didn't care if anyone said he was rude, because Dear walked into the room and slammed the door shut. He stomped over to the drawer, grabbed two hundred baht from his stash (since his wallet and backpack were in the main bedroom), patted his pocket to confirm his beloved iPhone was there, and stepped out of the room immediately.
"Phîi Porsche, I'm going out to find friends."
"Hey, what about dinner?"
Can't eat!
He really wanted to say that, but he still had enough manners. He turned to look at the young woman who seemed pleased as soon as she heard his words, then turned back to look at his romantic partner with the utmost irritation.
"I want to eat spaghetti, but there's only seafood. Phîi can eat with Khun Patty. I will go find something to eat at the university." After finishing, he stomped out of the room in a way that made Purin frown sharply and quickly follow, wanting to hold back the puppy who was clearly out of patience.
"Wait a minute, Dear..."
Thump.
"Nong Dear wants to go out to find friends, Phîi Porsche should just let him. When we were studying back then, during university, we preferred being with friends and seniors more than with family anyway." Following her own thoughts, the young woman grabbed his arm first, speaking in a sympathetic tone, even while her eyes looked at the young man dismissively.
Yeah, no need to dismiss me. I don't want to stay and hurt my eyes watching anyway!
Slam!
Dear slammed the door irritably and then stood blankly in front of the elevator.
"Shit-lizard, dammit!"
Beep!
"Ouch! Damn shit-lizard elevator!" The puppy swore irritably before venting by punching the wall in front of the elevator hard. It hurt so much he swore loudly, brushed his hair back irritably, and grabbed his mobile phone, only to find that he... had no mood to see anyone at all.
Therefore, from his original destination of going to the ground floor, he changed to the floor with the swimming pool and gym instead. At a little past six on a weekday like this, there was almost no one around. That allowed the small figure to stomp over and sit on a chair by the pool, looking down at his phone.
And finally... he called his usual refuge.
[What's up, Dear?]
"Jae Dream, I want to kill someone!" As soon as his sister answered, the Nong here immediately vented his emotions, making the listener pause.
[What's wrong? Did you quarrel with Porsche?]
"No. I'm just irritated. Super irritated."
[Then tell me what you're irritated about.] Since he wasn't getting to the point, Jae Dream started sounding irritated too, making the person on this end blurt out as if venting the frustration of the past half hour.
"Khun Pandey came here, Jae. Bloody fucking hell, followed me right up to the room. Stuck to Porsche like she was about to sit on his lap and cling to his body. Phîi Porsche said he doesn't think anything of her, said he just wants to be a Nong. Let-me-die, and now she even wants to have dinner. I didn't know what to do, so I ran out of the room, bloody fucking hell..."
[You said what?!]
Jae Dream, who had been listening quietly, shouted so loudly he nodded vigorously, as if his sister was right in front of him, and he continued complaining.
"Just like I said. Stuck to Phîi Porsche without knowing that..."
[No, I'm asking you, did you run out of the room or not!!!]
"Uh, uh-huh." Dear, still unaware of his fate, nodded repeatedly, but he couldn't shake the feeling that he was making a colossal mistake somehow. And that was when Jae Dream screeched into the phone, nearly bursting his eardrums.
[Go back into the room right now. Are you crazy? Letting your romantic partner stay in the room alone with another woman? You know she's aiming to snatch Porsche. If she drugs him, pounces on him, or claims him as her romantic partner, it'll be because you ran out! Go back to the room right now, you Dear!]
Instead of comforting him, Jae Dream scolded him in a series, making the person on this end pale and feel a bit hurt.
"Jae Dream isn't on my side at all."
[Is this the time to feel hurt, Dear? Sigh. Okay, okay, I spoke too harshly. But I can't come help you right now. I'm with Phîi Tawan. So go back to the room. Believe me.]
"But I don't know what to do." The softening tone of his sister made the listener's shoulders slump. Even though he felt more anxious with his sister's threat, he tried to believe Phîi Porsche wouldn't do that. But if he went back in, he'd have to see a scene he didn't want to see. So why go back? Besides...
[Dear, listen to me. You're the one who forbade Porsche from telling anyone you're romantic partners, and Porsche agreed to indulge you, even though he was ready to face the consequences. So, listen carefully. What I'm going to tell you is that you have to be strong, Dear. If you are weak in love, in the end, that very love will hurt you.] The Phîi, who knew her younger sibling's nature well, tried to tell him in a softer voice. And that made the listener purse his lips tightly.
"Dear doesn't know, Jae. I'm jealous enough to go crazy. I've never felt like punching anyone this much before."
[I know... Go back to the room and listen to me. Tell Porsche that I'm coming to eat too, within half an hour. Anyway, that Patty girl wouldn't risk running into me. But if she's still shameless, I'll call Porsche's mobile myself... okay?] It was always like this. No matter how much she scolded, in the end, Jae Dream was the one who solved every problem, making him used to it, and he nodded.
"Then Dear will go back to the room."
[Yeah, go back quickly. With a dim-wit like you as one of his Nongs...]
"Dear loves Jae Dream so much!" Just as his sister was about to launch into another long speech, he cut in immediately. And that made Jae Dream sigh.
[Tch.] Then she hung up immediately. Dear took a deep breath, preparing to go back into the room. Just as his phone rang again.
Phîi Porsche...
"Yes?"
[Where are you, Dear?]
"Why, Phîi ?" the little one asked in a sullen voice, making the other party sigh.
[I managed to get Patty to leave. Where are you now? I'll come pick you up.]
Jolt... The listener froze immediately. His heart, which had been feeling irritated, improved visibly as Phîi Porsche spoke in a concerned tone. Moreover, that woman had already left the room. But before telling his whereabouts, he hesitated and then said calmly,
"Dear will go back to the room himself. Phîi Porsche doesn't need to come out." Having said that, he hung up and headed straight back to the suite, even as his brain was working hard.
After returning to the room, the puppy could only act as if nothing had happened.
He smiled at Phîi Porsche, who came straight to him, looking like he was about to say something, so he cut in first.
"I'm hungry, Phîi. Let's eat."
"And about..."
"There's nothing going on at all. I'm fine now. Just had some air in my ears earlier. Went out to get some air and managed to think straight." Saying that, he led the way into the kitchen, scooping hot rice he had cooked during his first escape into the kitchen onto a plate. He turned to smile at the person standing in the doorway and asked with a slightly teasing tone.
"What are you standing there for? Pour the water." Since the puppy refused to talk about Patty, Purin just went along with it. He walked over to pour two glasses of water as ordered, before starting the meal that the little one had prepared as if nothing had happened earlier. He seemed to enjoy the seafood thoroughly, and also...
"Shell this for me, please." ...He also handed both crab and prawns to put on his plate, but with eyes like... 'shell this for Dear,' forcing Khun-chai Purin to become his personal hammer, cracking crab claws and putting them on the plate for the person who was eating happily.
His demeanor made the young man feel relieved, so he shelled this and that, putting it on the plate for the person who seemed to have a better appetite than usual.
But after washing the dishes and clearing the table, the person who seemed normal quickly rushed to take a shower and then went straight into his own room.
"Dear, why are sleeping in this room?" Purin, who came to knock on the door, called out, making the person inside reply in a teasing voice.
"I won't sleep in Phîi's room. I'm sulking! Just go hug your blanket and sleep alone!" The listener could only laugh at the person who claimed to be sulking with a straight face, forcing him to ask amusedly.
"Are you sure you can sleep alone? Every other night, you have me hugging you to sleep."
"Yeah! Not being able to sleep is better than being ravaged by Phîi! No way, I'm still sore from last night. Sleep alone, Phîi Porsche." Dear replied. Of course, last night was about him repaying the 'Tonight.' incident from Jae Dream last Saturday. And that made the person standing in front of the door finally go back to his own room, even though Dear was sitting on the bed with a sullen face, almost lifting his hand to bite his nails to relieve stress.
How to handle this! Think, Dear! You have to use your time wisely. Think, damn it, about what to do if that woman comes again.
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