Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
~~~
"Not true. Hic... Phîi Porsche is bloody fucking lying...lying."
In the bedroom, Dear gripped the shirt he was wearing even tighter. His lips pressed tightly together. There was only a trembling sound as he told himself he didn't believe, didn't believe what he was hearing right now. Phîi Porsche said he loves...me.
How could that be? Then why that night did he call Jae Dream!
"That night..." Purin spoke up as if knowing what Dear was thinking. And it made Dear clench his fist tighter, look up and let tears stream down. But his wretched heart instead intently listened to every word coming from Phîi Porsche's mouth.
"Dear might not believe me. But me calling Dream's name wasn't because I wanted to have sex with Dream. I didn't want to touch Dream like how I did with Dear. Yes, I admit I really saw Dream...."
Reaching this point, Dear used his fist to cover his own mouth as a sob escaped. The thing he was suspicious of was clear now, that Phîi Porsche really saw his Jae. Really saw me as a substitute for his Jae.
"...but what I saw was a feeling of guilt, not love. I thought I loved Dream for several decades. It was embedded in my heart all along until I never truly loved anyone. But that night was different. The second I saw Dream, I realized that I would never love Dream like that again. It was like seeing Dream's image flash before my eyes and then disappear along with the feeling that had been embedded in my heart all along...I felt guilty towards Dream that I could no longer feel that way anymore. And I also felt guilty that Dream left her Nong for me to take care of...." Purin paused for a moment.
"...but I feel for Dear more than a Nong."
What is Phîi Porsche saying?
"Dear. Dear, listen to me. I know right now you might not have any trust left in me. But I will say that the person I love, and will continue to love, will be you, Dear... not Dream."
Thud
Dear immediately slumped down to sit on the floor. He could only use his sleeve to wipe his own face forcefully. His ears were still listening to Phîi Porsche's words that were telling him.
"With Dear, it's not a feeling of guilt that I have to take responsibility for by saying I will love...I have felt for Dear for a while now. If I didn't feel for Dear, I wouldn't hug, wouldn't kiss, or wouldn't touch us like that night. If I didn't feel for Dear, I wouldn't have left marks on your body that night."
Dear was pursing his lips tightly. His heart was judging Purin's words along.
"As for Dream, I talked with Dream. We are a bond that can never be more than that. And I also realized since the night before last who my heart has chosen. Dear made me have to get drunk like a damn dog to find an answer for myself why I don't want to let this Nong go. Why I want to keep him for myself alone. Why I don't want anyone to touch Dear except me..."
Purin clenched his fist tightly as he closed his eyes.
"I'm sorry. Please, can you forgive me, Khrap?"
Purin had said everything. Told all his own feelings for the Nong-next-door to know. As he took another step back from the door panel, his sharp eyes looked at the fine wood that was tightly closed. There was also no response sound from Dear in the room until he felt exhausted.
Dear must be so angry with him that he doesn't want to meet, but he can't let this little one go anymore.
But then, the bedroom door swung wide open, revealing the little one whose face was deep red, moreover smeared with tears, stepping out. His round eyes were shaking slightly.
"Dear..."
"Phîi Porsche is bloody fucking evil!" Purin could only stand still as Dear uttered the first words cursing him before the next words sounded.
"Phîi Porsche is bloody fucking vile. Bloody fucking most wretched. Phîi Porsche made me hurt. Made me cry like a madman..." As he said this, Dear wiped his dripping tears until his cheeks were thoroughly red. The expression that showed how much it hurt made Purin's heart feel constricted until he couldn't breathe.
Dear wasn't forgiving him.
Purin could only smile faintly, pitifully at himself, that his actions were making his Nong not trust him anymore.
"...but why can't I hate an evil, vile, wretched person like Phîi enough? I bloody fucking hate myself. Hate myself the most that even now I still love Phîi... I hate myself. Hate!" Dear shouted out loudly, along with a strong sob in his throat.
But the words that came out made Purin freeze.
Slam
"Let me go. Let go! Let me go, Âi-Phîi-Porsche!"
"Won't let go. I will not let you go anywhere!" Purin, who pulled the little one into a hug, hugged his small body even tighter. Didn't care about Dear's struggling force, both hands and feet. And held him tightly against his chest until Dear struggled...struggled...and finally...became still.
Slam
"Also..." Then Dear, who had been struggling to escape, became the party hugging the slim waist tightly, burying his face against the strong shoulder. The small body trembled like a little one that fell into water. Made Purin press Dear's head against his own shoulder.
"I'm sorry...sorry," Purin whispered close to Dear's ear as he gently stroked his head.
"Hic...hic..." This time, Dear let out all his own weakness. Tried to tell himself that he was still angry, still resentful towards Phîi Porsche. But both hands instead gripped Purin's shirt tightly.
"Phîi Porsche...didn't lie to me, alright... didn't lie to me, alright." Then finally, the thing he wanted to know the most came out from his mouth.
Didn't really lie about loving each other.
"No...I didn't lie."
"Phîi...will really love me, right," Purin pulled away a bit to look down at the messy face that was smeared with snot and tears. Until he reached out to place his hand on Dear's pale white cheek. His sharp eyes stared deeply into the round eyes.
"Will love...will take care of...will care for."
An answer that made Dear purse his lips into a straight line. His wretched heart that hurt almost to death instead beat strongly as Purin's long fingertips were gently smoothing his cheek. Normally, he would probably complain that I'm not a young woman to be touching like this. But it was the words coming from Phîi Porsche's mouth that made him still.
"Is Phîi Porsche going to try loving me instead of Jae Dream?" A question that brought up Dream's name made Purin shake his head until Dear saw his own upset face.
"Not going to try loving... but already love."
Thud
I hate myself for being soft towards Phîi Porsche!
Dear immediately lowered his head deeply upon feeling Phîi Porsche gently stroking his hair.
"Our matter will not have Dream. Dear is Dear. Dream is Dream. No one is like anyone else. And I never use anyone as a substitute for anyone. My Dear is much more attractive than Dream."
Who is yours? Did I say so or what!
Dear could only lower his head deeply as tears began to dry up from his face. Moreover, his cheeks heated up until he was annoyed with himself that Phîi Porsche's words always had influence over him.
"Can you forgive me?"
Slam
Dear didn't answer the question, instead being the party hugging the older young man tightly. And perhaps because he was almost twenty centimeters shorter, he fit perfectly against Phîi Porsche's chest so Purin couldn't see his red cheeks now.
"I don't know... I can't think of anything," he confessed honestly, making Phîi Porsche let out the first laugh. But he could feel the older young man holding him tighter. Even though his heart wanted to ask, he could only ask.
"Then, ultimately, what am I to Phîi?"
"A little one."
"Why is that?" This time, he could only complain softly. They had been talking for so long, cried so much. Did he have to go back to being a little one again? And that made Purin lean down to press a kiss on the quick red mouth, then pull away.
"A little one that I must give a lot of love and care to. Let me hug to sleep every night. Let me take to class every day. A little one that must love its owner very much. Oh, and the only little one I'll raise. Deal, Khrap?" A question that made Dear's cheeks extremely hot. Wanted to complain, but instead could only manage to say.
"I'm a possessive little one, hey. Telling you in advance."
"Didn't say forbidding possessiveness."
I hate Phîi Porsche.
"Hey, why am I snuggling against Phîi's chest, hmm, you little one,"
Phîi Porsche got a chance and is acting big. Last night made me hurt almost to death. Now still comes to tease me again.
"Let me snuggle or not," he could only say in a muffled voice.
"I'll allow more than snuggling."
This time, Dear fell silent immediately. Didn't look up. Didn't say a word. Just kept burying his face quietly like that. It made Purin sigh softly.
"I'm sorry."
"Mhmm," a short acknowledgment that Purin continued.
"Forgive me, okay."
"Mhmm."
"Not angry anymore, okay."
"Mhmm." The condition of Dear that only acknowledged with one word, along with his head that pressed down heavily right on Purin's chest, made Purin's heart beat strongly. His sharp face that had been sternly tense all day began to have a smile.
"Really, right."
"Mhmm!"
"Really, Khrap."
"Mhmm!" Dear's voice began to get louder. And that made Purin almost laugh out loud.
"Really or not, Khrap, Dear?"
"I already said Mhmm!" This time, Dear immediately looked up, starting to get angry. At first, I was bloody fucking shy, you know. But encountering these repeated questions, it's rising, I tell you. But as soon as he looked up and met Phîi Porsche's eyes...bloody fucking hell, lost composure.
Because Phîi Porsche was smiling widely at him. His eyes were sparkling. The same expression that he fell in love with without fail every day.
Smack
"Still sulking, Khrap."
Dear could swear he was still sulking, but why are both my cheeks so damn hot now? Especially when Phîi Porsche pressed a quick kiss and said...still sulking, Khrap.
"Phîi Porsche is bloody fucking crazy!" Then his trademark phrase came out without Dear realizing until he got the words that made Purin feel the most relieved in many days. Until he had to hug the little one and rock gently.
"I agree to be crazy for Dear alone, hey."
Yeah, said it, so no taking it back. Just be crazy for Dear alone is enough. Because I'll also agree to be a little one for Phîi alone too.
The thoughts of Dear who snuggled against his owner's chest stubbornly. Didn't care about any damn thing that he was acting like a young woman of damn troublemaker level exceeding ten levels. It's just that now he has happiness. Even though it hurt almost to death, but when Phîi Porsche said he loves...I became easily swayed like before.
He knew already that hugging Phîi Porsche is warm. But now, he couldn't help feeling that it was warmer than before.
Thoughts that would keep hugging that big owner like that, if it weren't because...
"What's up, you two crazy people."
Whoosh
"Jae Dream!" But then, Dear startled with a Gasp. Turned sharply to look the other way until he saw his own beautiful Jae standing leaning her shoulder against the wall. Both arms crossed, looking over with a small smile. While his heart also dropped Thud to his ankles.
Anyway, Jae Dream is the person Phîi Porsche used to love. And Jae Dream is the person he loves very much.
"How did you get in?"
"The door wasn't locked. It was almost noon, so I came to check the results," Jae Dream said while shrugging, pointing towards the faraway room door that had sprung shut automatically but wasn't automatically locked either. Then turned back.
Results?...What results?
"Have you two cleared things up yet?"
"Not yet..."
"Okay, cleared things up already. Hugging so completely like this," Jae Dream didn't even listen to Phîi Porsche's words. Because Jae walked briskly to stand in front of him. In a way that made Dear only look up apprehensively. His heart still couldn't tell what he felt having his Jae here.
"Jae Dream..."
Slam
"Ouch! Jae Dream, I hurt. Agggh, don't twist my ear." But then, Dear, who was apprehensive, ended up shouting loudly. Fear scattered everywhere when Jae Dream playfully reached out her hand and Slam onto his ear, exerting force to twist hard.
"Hey, Dream, let go!"
Whoosh
"Don't interfere, Khun Purin. And let go of my Nong too."
"But..."
"If you don't let go, I'll twist Âi Dear's ear off for sure."
"Let go! Phîi Porsche, let me go. Jae Dream, it really hurts, hey. Hurts!" That's it. Dear immediately complained, telling Phîi Porsche to let go. Because between these two, honestly, he was much more afraid of Jae Dream. Until Purin had to let go of the waist, watching his close friend drag his little one away.
"This is a matter for siblings to talk about. Don't interfere!" Jae Dream said with a heavy voice, then dragged him into the bedroom immediately. Bloody fucking hell, used her foot to close the door with a loud Slam.
My Jae likes violence. Has no femininity!
"Ouch!"
"Sit!" Dear, who was feeling his own ear gingerly, could only make a confused face when his Jae commanded another word. But quickly sat on the bed immediately upon seeing the expression of a tigress about to pounce on her prey.
Whack
"Ouch! It hurts. Why did Jae slap me?"
"Yeah, slap to make it hurt."
Jae Dream likes to use violence. She slapped right on the my head. If your Nong becomes dim-witted, I don't know, hey.
He could only complain in his heart, as he held his head gingerly, looking at his Jae who stood with hands on her hips in front of him. Then she reached out to grab his chin and yanked it up.
"Sighhh"
Sighing at me again.
"You cried this heavily?"
Thud
Then Dear could only freeze when Jae Dream asked in a softer tone. Her expression and eyes that showed concern made Dear, who was about to complain, fall silent. Then he pressed his lips together.
"If you have a problem, why didn't you call me?" Jae Dream asked immediately. It made Dear, who didn't dare call the person he wanted to see the most, lower his head.
"I didn't dare."
"Because of what?"
"..."
Dear could only be at a loss for an answer. Made Dream sigh again and then...
Whack
"Ouch!"
Bloody fucking hell, does Jae see my head as a ping pong ball? Slapping so well.
"I ask, so answer."
"..."
But he still had no answer for his Jae. Until Dream had to look at her Nong quietly for a moment. Before...
Slam
"I'm your Jae, okay. I've helped Mâe raise you since you were a tiny foot. When it was about finding a condo, a friend bullied you, a friend didn't help do a report, you could tell me. But why such a big matter like this, you didn't tell me? Did you think I couldn't help you?" Jae Dream pulled him into a tight hug. In a way that made Dear bite his lip tightly, trying not to act weak like a young little one. He's eighteen already, not an age to come hug and fawn over his Jae anymore. But he couldn't deny that... I had wanted this embrace all day long.
"I didn't know. I thought if Jae Dream also loves Phîi Porsche, what would I do..."
"Then know this. If I loved Porsche, I would step aside for my own Nong."
Thud
Dear could only freeze, stunned. Looked up at his Jae who was hugging him tightly, in disbelief. Made Jae Dream smile at him.
"Remember. Dear is my Nong. Is the person I love the most. No matter what happens, Dear is the person I love the most and value the most anyway." Words that made Dear feel like crying again. The patience and the stifling feeling of not calling his Jae, all turned into tears that made him hug his Jae's waist tightly, then bury his face against the slender but much stronger than him shoulder.
The manner of Dear that Dream gently stroked his head. She knew that really, Dear isn't a strong little one. It might be her herself who raised him to be like this.
"I'm sorry, Jae. I'm sorry."
"Yeah, know that I'm not just someone born before you. If you have a problem, tell. If there's anything, talk. Don't disappear like this. Also know how much I worry about you. I thought you went to hang yourself under a bean sprout tree somewhere." Jae Dream's words made Dear smile out loud until he did. Sniffled hard. I didn't dare dirty Jae's clothes...because later I'd have to go back and wash them.
But one question was in his heart.
"Jae...do you love Phîi Porsche?"
"Do you want me to slap your skull again?" That's it. Dear let go of his Jae's waist, immediately held his own head, made a fearful face looking at the slender hand whose strength was never little. And that made Dream laugh, then placed her hand on her Nong's head.
"Love... don't need to do that. Love like family. I and Porsche can never be more than that. Porsche just misunderstood the bond of people who have been together for twenty-five years as love. But really, I and him are just a bond...and a wallet when I want something."
Damn it. If not for the last sentence, my Jae would be awesome.
Dear could only make a bizarre face, making Dream reach out to pull her Nong's cheek hard.
"Therefore, if there's anything, tell me. Understand?"
"Okay, I understand," Dear could only mumble. Then felt his own cheek as Jae Dream finally let go. After that, his Jae stood up briskly, made Dear quickly look up, then say softly.
"Jae Dream"
"Hmm"
"I...love Jae. Jae is the person I love the most."
Jae Dream never pampered him like a sweet Jae. Jae Dream has her own way of comforting him. When something happens to tell, don't expect Jae Dream to speak nicely. Jae scolds first as a rule. But also agrees to help him every time... like this time.
No matter how mean Jae Dream is, she is always his sweet Jae.
"What about your Âi Phîi Porsche?"
Silent.
"Heh heh, your face is red like a Pheuak Monkey's butt. Yeah, good to see you acting according to your face for once. I also thought that one day you must get a Phûa. And it's good that it's Porsche."
Jae Dream is competing to make her Nong lose his butt to others. Thoughts that made Dear only look at his Jae resentfully even though his cheeks were hot somehow.
"Alright. Finished with the matter, right?" Dear nodded vigorously as he looked at his Jae who was about to step to open the door. He thought there was no matter anymore. Even though Jae Dream is the person Phîi Porsche loved, he believes. He believes both Phîi Porsche's and Jae Dream's words that it won't be as he thought.
Thud
Thoughts that made Dear, who hadn't slept for almost two nights, immediately lie down on the bed. Until Dream, who heard the sound, turned to look and put her hands on her hips.
"Then you're not getting up to follow? What are you sleeping here for?"
"Huh? But I'm sleepy, Jae."
"Then go back to sleep at home." This time, Dear immediately frowned sharply, didn't understand right away. It's Sunday today, right? Why make him go back home again when tomorrow there's school? And that suspicion made him quickly get up to follow the young woman immediately.
"Jae Dream, what do you mean?"
"Why are you standing still, Porsche? Take my Nong's bag down to the car."
"!!"
This time, it wasn't just Dear. Even Purin opened his eyes wide, turned to look at the beautiful young woman who was smiling smugly, pleased about something. And that made Dream say in a loud, clear voice.
"Âi Dear must go back to sleep at home until I'm satisfied."
"Hey!"
"No 'hey'. Since you made him cry until the dam almost burst like this, I won't allow him to stay here anymore. Let him go back to sleep at our house, that's good enough," Dream announced immediately. And that made Dear quickly say.
"Bu...but Jae, I have school. Then how will I come to the university? Since Jae said yourself that you won't take me." Didn't want to stay with Phîi Porsche at all, but his heart skipped a beat. And it seemed Dear's objection made the evil person (believe me, in everyone's eyes) stretch a smile.
"Have an owner who is a real person, so let him drive to pick up and send you. What's difficult?" Words that made Purin sigh heavily.
"Then I'll go back to sleep at home too."
"Who said you can go back?"
"You said, damn it..."
"I said let Dear go back to sleep at home alone. As for you, sleep here. If you want my Nong to come to every class and on time, drive from here to pick him up for school. And...take him home every day. Okay, Khun-chai Purin?" Dream cut in quickly, finishing in one go, made an okay sign with her finger towards her close friend who was frozen.
Meanwhile Dear also made an upset face for a moment.
Not really worried. Not worried. But bloody fucking hell, is Jae Dream thinking that going to pick me up at home, Phîi Porsche might have to wake up at four in the morning? In the morning, maybe the traffic isn't bad, but it takes about an hour. Then drive back here during rush hour another almost two hours. Not to mention taking me back home, then having to fight traffic to come back to sleep here...Jae Dream clearly intends to kill Phîi Porsche!
"Deal."
"Hey, Phîi Porsche, are you crazy or what!" Dear immediately complained when Purin said with determination. And that made Purin just turn to smile at him.
"I'm okay. Just going to pick up and send the little one. Why wouldn't I be able to do it?"
"Okay, conclusion, both parties agree. Therefore, carry your bag and follow me, Âi Nong Rak," Dream said as if holding victory in her hand, then walked briskly out of the condo immediately, made Dear only stand stunned, then turned to look at Phîi Porsche who was moving closer.
"Are you crazy or what? Why indulge Jae Dream?"
Bloody fucking hell. Not resentful at all that Phîi Porsche is indulging Jae Dream again.
"I'm not indulging Dream. But I'm showing your important person that I'm sincere with Dear," Purin shook his head slowly. He understood immediately that Dream didn't suddenly go crazy to make her Nong tired. But because Dream was getting back at him for her Nong.
As he said, he knows Dream well. This young woman might scold her Nong, curse her Nong, but she also loves and hurts for her Nong always. That was also one charm that he thought he loved Dream. But now, he admits,
...how could I have thought I loved this young woman?
Words that made Dear only freeze, as if vaguely understanding something, until the resentment gradually disappeared, could only look up at Phîi Porsche who was smiling at him.
"Dear," Phîi Porsche called softly, then leaned down to press a kiss on the red mouth, pressed down firmly, then pulled away a bit.
"I won't let you go anywhere, you know."
Phîi Porsche is bloody fucking crazy.
But even though he said crazy, he agreed to lift his head to receive the kiss that crushed down on his mouth forcefully. The tip of the tongue delved deep into the sweet oral cavity, came to intertwine with the tip of his tongue until almost becoming one. Admitted that he wanted Phîi Porsche to kiss him like this continuously...
Slam!
"Two minutes and still not finished kissing?...Hurry up, Âi Dear. I'll go back to continue watching the series!" Dear could swear Phîi Porsche let out a huge Gasp, made a face he had never seen before...an expression that showed he was extremely annoyed with Jae Dream, until instead of being shy, he smiled widely.
"Phîi Porsche doesn't have to take it down. I can take it myself..." Dear said while stepping to pull his own bag that had fallen Plop, then lifted it up, after that, turned to look, hesitated a bit, before uttering.
"Tomorrow...I'll wake up early to wait for Phîi, Khrap."
Finished speaking, he immediately dashed out of the room, went straight to his Jae who was making teasing eyes of the type he didn't dare meet, and also didn't turn to look at Phîi Porsche to see what expression he made, only knew that...
I'm such a damn troublemaker. Flirted with Phîi Porsche.
His mouth, then slightly red cheeks, the manner that made Dream laugh softly, turned to look at her close friend, she saw that he covered his mouth with his hand.
"Until I'm satisfied with the tears that Âi Dear lost, my dear friend," finished speaking, she closed the door behind her and stepped out as another person, made Purin, who stood frozen, only sigh.
Then, anyway, he wouldn't agree to let Dear go. This room is too big to be alone.
"Having a little one with you is the best," but it seems he must show sincerity to the little one's Mâe first. And it seems...it will be very difficult too.
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