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~~~
"Hmm, if it's dating, I'd have to decline. But if it's just sleeping together, that's okay."
The moment Shin finished speaking, the entire table fell silent, until Dear couldn't even swallow, gulping hard. Sneaking a glance at the beautiful young woman, he found the Science Faculty Star pale as a ghost, clenching her fist tight as if she wanted to slap the face of the young man who still...
"Bloody fucking nuts. I give up," Shin said, not even caring how much his words hurt her feelings.
Snap.
"Uh, you... Shin... she's run off..." Dear could only mumble softly, watching the young woman spin around and run off, heart-wrenchingly pitiful. Truthfully, he instantly felt pissed at his friend.
Having a secret crush already hurts enough. How much must it hurt to hear the person I love reject me?
Dear's thoughts made him unconsciously clench his fist tighter, wanting to say more. But seeing the blunt rejection, he couldn't help relating it to his own situation, until he turned, hoping to tell Shin to go apologize to that young woman.
Thud.
Why does Âi Shin look like he's... hurt?
"Âi..."
Wham.
"What the bloody fucking shit did you just say?! How can you spout such crap?! Are you even a man?!" But before Dear could say anything, Sun, sitting next to him, grabbed Âi Shin's collar and shoved him, slamming him against the stone table with a huge crash. The yell echoed all over, making Dear jump up fast to follow.
Sun's furious attitude finally drew Âi Shin's gaze upward for the first time since that young woman walked in.
"Why do you have to be this pissed? I just rejected her."
"Then why didn't you speak to her nicer? She's a young woman, you damned animal!" Sun yelled loud, gripping his friend's collar even tighter, making Dear quickly move in to grab Sun's hand firm.
"Hey, you, calm down!"
"Âi Dear, look at your friend! Why does he talk such dog-mouth?!" Âi Sun turned and yelled loud, using his other hand to push his short friend away, but Dear yanked himself free, shielding the half-blood again. He knew why Âi Sun was so riled up.
"Where'd I talk dog-mouth? I just spoke the truth."
"You!"
"Whoa, stop! You two, stop barking already. You going to fight? I'll be the ref... and Âi Shin, you want to know why this goose is pissed, right? 'Cause he's got a Nong sister, you. That enough? He's this pissed 'cause he's got two Nong sisters who are young women!" And it was Dear who shouted before they started throwing punches, then turned and yelled at Âi Shin why Âi Sun was so mad.
"And if any damned shit-lizard talks to my Nong sister like that, I'll kill him!"
Crash!
"Âi Dear, why'd you hit my head!" Sun's protective-sibling rant ended as Dear's small but damn strong palm smacked full force into his friend's head, making Âi Sun let go of the other friend's collar and clutch his head in total confusion.
"Smacking you to knock some sense in. You nuts? Is this Bulan or Janjao confessing love to Âi Shin or what, for you to be so protective? Read the room! And as long as that Sailor Moon duo hasn't gotten over being fujoshi fangirls, they aren't finding you a Phûa to give you a headache for kicks!"
"Yeah, I didn't reject their Nong, did I?"
Crash!
"Ouch!"
"Shut up, you half-blood. Did I say you could talk, huh? If you're going to reject her, couldn't you talk to her better than that!" Before Âi Shin finished, the same palm smacked bang on his head again. Then Dear shoved both brawlers away from himself and slumped back in his chair.
"Sit down! You going to stand there being gossip fodder forever?" Once he finished, the two ready to fight slumped into their seats fast, staring at the little one who crossed his arms sharp, not getting why they obeyed him. Maybe 'cause the heavy-handed little one's face screamed... concern.
"So why'd you reject her like that?"
"..."
Âi Shin stayed quiet, using his attractive face to stare back, till Dear frowned hard.
"Why you staring at me? Hunting for a lightsaber or what?"
"Can I talk now?"
Ouch. That guy named... even now he can still get on my nerves!
Dear looked like he wanted to leap and dropkick, till Âi Shin sighed and turned to the other friend, then back to the little friend.
"I... didn't mean to diss women by saying that. I just... well, I'm sorry to you, okay, Sun? You don't gotta worry. Your Nong probably won't be unlucky enough to like a damned shit-lizard like me."
"I'm sorry too. Like Âi Dear said, my Nong isn't the one who got rejected here. I got too hot-headed." Âi Sun nodded, making the middleman sigh in relief, then turned to the half-blood, who knew he had to answer.
"So, what's the deal..."
"That young woman from just now didn't really like me," Âi Shin said simple, then explained more when he saw the question-mark looks from both friends.
"People who like me, like me for my looks. Nobody really loves me." Though Âi Shin said it chill, for a split second, Dear thought he saw something his friend tried to hide... but not well enough.
"You serious about this?"
"Nah, I've wanted to say something like this forever, like a manga hero." Then the half-blood answered deadpan, before shrugging.
"Real talk, you guys, I'm not dissing anyone. But I don't buy that just seeing someone's face means you can love 'em, like 'em. They don't even know my personality and come saying they like me. When I talk straight about sleeping together, they can't handle it. That's liking me? I think it's all the same. They just like my looks." The long-ass reason that the Âi-drama-queen rarely spilled made both friends go quiet, starting to get what he was trying to say.
Maybe Âi Shin didn't actually mean sleeping together? He probably just said it to test if she could handle him—crazy, flaky, all over the place?
Then Âi Sun asked, "So that means if that young woman agreed..."
The question made the half-blood smirk, sling his bag over his shoulder, and say simple, "I already said... one night and done. I'll even cover the hotel... Yeah, I'm out. See you at the cheer room." Done, he strutted off all cool, leaving the two friends to look at each other.
Then Dear shouted loud. "If you meant it like that, why'd you say it all cool, what's with the lightsaber act?!" The shout just made Âi Shin turn, laugh, wave once, and split, till Dear had to sit back down.
Right when Âi Sun got up too. "Yeah, I'd better bounce. I gotta take a shit."
Done, he took off fast, leaving Dear with a what the hell face. Felt familiar, this 'gotta take a shit' dodge, till...
"You damned jerks! Ate and ran! Come back and clean up the trash, hey!" Turning to see the snack wrappers still scattered, and who's stuck cleaning... Âi Dear, of course.
Meanwhile, Shin, who'd ditched his friends, sighed heavy with a sinking feeling in his chest. Talking like that wasn't just to reject that young woman. Sure, he doesn't sleep with young women. But another big thing: the words and face of someone popped into his head.
I... uh... I like... I like Phîi Shin, Khrap!
"Tch, why do I still remember that? And why... does it still hurt?"
***
"Oh, Khun-chai Purin, you're late, Khrap, huh?"
Purin followed the female staff into the restaurant-slash-pub on the rooftop of a fancy downtown hotel, his go-to spot with buddies for drinks after work. He stopped at an inner table with the best night view from the sixtieth floor, where someone was already waiting.
"I'm on time. You're the one who showed early," the young man said easy, eyeing his close friend who was halfway through his drink, showing he'd been there a while. And from the corner of his eye, it looked like he'd already bought drinks for the young women at the next table.
"And the others, Âi Ohm?"
"What others? Just you and me, man. Nobody's free, hey. And since you haven't been out in forever, I called you to keep me company." The young man in a sharp shirt and slacks said easy, raising his glass to point at Purin, who just laughed.
"Lately, I haven't been real free... gotta look after a little one."
"Hmm." This time, Ohm's sharp, attractive face looked up quick, his eyes showing interest.
"I've been wondering since last time. So, who's this little one you mention... a new romantic partner?"
Purin almost said no, but he thought back to the recent holiday, when that little Nong-next-door asked him... Can I... admire Phîi... love Phîi?
And he'd answered... You can.
"I... I'm not sure," Purin answered straight, making his friend look even more shocked.
"First time I've heard you say you're not sure... Tch, don't tell me this one's the real deal."
Thud.
Purin froze for a sec, but only a sec before laughing to cover it.
"Heh, you changing the subject doesn't mean I can't tell. I've been your friend how many years? That Purin of our crew, who'd go quiet to babysit a Nong? You've had how many romantic partners, and still came drinking with us. Only this time you've ghosted... how many weeks?" The close friend narrowed his eyes a bit, like he was trying to read Purin's mind.
Purin just stayed quiet, then turned to order his own drink.
Once the order was done, Ohm spoke again.
"Hope this time isn't like every other time."
"What other time?"
"Your last romantic partner. The one who said you always seem to have someone else in your heart."
"My last one was a British young woman. She dumped me 'cause she had to go back to her country," Purin cut in quick, making his close friend just laugh, knowing he was dodging.
"I don't know your love life from studying abroad, hey. Talk undergrad. How many people said the same thing... That Phîi Purin didn't see me as number one... Porsche never loved us... If Phîi Porsche has someone, why'd Phîi Porsche date me..."
Purin wanted to deck his close friend, mimicking his exes' voices, till he had to sigh heavy.
"Haha, come on, man. If this one's your real deal, I'm happy for you... And forget the impossible stuff. You've been hung up on one person way too long."
Ohm's words, knowing something deep, made Purin just go quiet, then turn to the night view of the Chao Phraya River.
Yeah, he'd been stuck with this feeling forever. But he... was cool with it.
The thought suddenly flashed an image of that little one in his head, overlapping with what he was thinking, till Purin clenched his fist tighter. Since when had some feelings faded from his heart, replaced by smiles and flustered moves whenever he caught how Dear felt about him?
This Nai Purin wasn't a dim-wit. He'd known for weeks, maybe since the first kiss with his Nong, that Dear saw him as more than a Phîi. And him... how'd he see Dear?
A question he still had no clear answer for.
***
This thought stuck in Purin's head even when he got back to his room near 2 AM. The pitch-black lights showed his roommate was probably asleep. He turned into his room to shower, hoping it'd clear the buzz from the booze he'd been drinking since evening, at least enough to think straighter.
But in the end, Purin stopped at the little one's room.
"Sigh." Purin sighed heavy, lowering the hand about to knock, not getting why he wanted to see this Nong's face so bad. But before turning back to his room, his sharp eyes hesitated a moment. His big hand hit the doorknob.
Creeeak.
The unlocked door made Purin smile faintly at the young man who trusted him. His sharp eyes saw the blurry shape of a figure curled up on the big bed, even flipping to dodge the light seeping in from outside, making him pull the door shut.
Darkness was no problem for Purin now. As his tall frame stepped close to the big bed, his sharp eyes saw the little one clutching a blanket tight, face buried in a soft pillow, eyes shut so tight that... he let a smile slip.
Then something made Purin slide under the same blanket.
"Mmm~"
"Go to sleep, little one." The warmth pressing close made Dear crack his eyes open drowsy, groaning soft in his throat, annoyed at whoever was messing with his sweet sleep. Then, just a deep whisper by his ear, and the sleepy young man... opened his eyes wide.
"Hey!"
"It's me."
"P-Phîi... Porsche."
"Who'd you think?" Dear could only lie there stiff, realizing who was lying behind him. You could say the heavy sleeper was wide awake now.
"Th-then why's Phîi coming to sleep with me?"
I'm dreaming. Gotta be dreaming right now. I'm dreaming. Wake up, Dear! Wake up!
He could only tell himself in his heart, his body stiffening more feeling Purin's hand drape over his waist, and feeling Phîi Porsche slide closer till his back was scarily warm.
A question Purin was also hunting an answer for, but right now he only had... an excuse.
"Cold... so I came to hug the puppy. Should be warm."
What kind of shit excuse is that? Th-then take your hand off, hey. Don't hug...
Dear's inner voice got shakier as he was pulled into a hug by his giant Phîi till his back pressed against Purin's chest, even feeling Phîi Porsche's chin on his head. And he was so pissed at himself for... letting him hug him, not fighting back a bit.
"You know it's warm, you can let go now, Phîi. You'll get zapped by lightning."
"Hmm, the forecast said no rain today. No lightning."
Dear could only press his lips tight, dying to ask what the hell Porsche was thinking, hugging him like this. But maybe 'cause of something in his heart, Dear snuggled closer into the warm chest.
Chance like this doesn't come every day, Dear. Phîi Porsche is hugging me right now.
Snap.
"You really want to hug, huh? Then move Phîi's arm here." Thinking that, the little puppy summoned his guts, turning over, pushing himself up a bit to pull Purin's arm onto the pillow, dodging the sharp eyes glinting even in this dark.
Whoosh.
"You know, to hug right, you gotta hug like this. The puppy stays warm." Saying it, his face got so hot it might explode as he laid his head on Purin's arm, snuggling into the warm chest, his boldness jacking up three levels fast. But now, Dear tried not to care.
Fine, whatever. Phîi Porsche is giving me this much hope; I gotta grab it!
Purin froze for a sec, not expecting his Nong to be so bold. But then he grinned wide, feeling the brave young man snuggle closer, his body... shaking.
Like a puppy scared of something.
Not counting how he saw Dear squeezing his eyes shut, lips pressed tight, till Purin couldn't help raising a hand to pull his waist closer.
Dear shook a bit more. Then words that almost made Purin bust out laughing came from his mouth. "Is Phîi's puppy warm yet?"
The question Purin whispered by his ear made Dear say, "Phîi Porsche is bloody fucking nuts," answering with a laugh-choked voice.
"If the puppy lets me hug him, I'm cool with being nuts." Then Purin laughed loud right after.
The second he finished, Dear just mumbled to himself, "Bloody fucking nuts... Phîi Porsche is bloody fucking nuts... totally nuts... gone nuts..."
And weirdly, Purin was cool with being nuts, using the hand Dear was lying on to cradle his head, stroking his soft hair gentle like petting a puppy. It felt... warm, good.
"Sleep now, or you'll wake up late."
Dear wanted to argue that hugged like this, how could he sleep? But he just shut his eyes fast, trying to calm his heart pounding like crazy. His nose caught the soap scent from the young man fresh from a shower. Even thinking he couldn't sleep with his heart going nuts, maybe the warmth made him... drift off.
The last feeling before sinking into dreams was a warm touch on his cheek, with a far-off voice by his ear.
"Phîi's puppy seems feverish. Your cheek's burning hot."
Phîi Porsche is the craziest.
Dear thought that but fell asleep with a smile anyway.
Meanwhile, Purin kept stroking the little one's head, his million thoughts vanishing. He only knew having Dear in his arms felt... good.
***
"Âi Dear... Âi Dear, hey!"
"Huh? Ha."
Next morning, Dear jumped, startled by a loud shout in his ear, making him give a what the hell face to his two friends slumped beside him.
"Why you yelling at me?" He asked the two he'd planned to meet here, legit puzzled, not knowing what face he was making. A dazed look, red cheeks, shaky lips. Sun wasn't shocked why his two Nong sisters wanted this one as his Mia so bad.
He probably doesn't know he sometimes looks cuter than a young woman.
"You think, Âi Shin, Âi Dear looks super out of it?" Sun turned to the other friend, making the half-blood, who likely thought the same, laugh and nod.
"You watch your ex-Mia close. I'm legit scared one day he'll zone out and get dragged off and jumped. His face is just too damn tempting."
"Âi Shin!"
"Yeah, no need to yell. I know my name." Âi Shin grinned and shrugged, making the tempting-faced young man grind his teeth. Was it wrong that my head's full of last night? Who'd think or dream Phîi Porsche came to hug me? Even if he was back in his room when I woke up, you get it, right? Seeing the rumpled bed saying someone else slept there... I'm embarrassed.
Thinking that, I just realized my embarrassed face is... tempting... Don't tell me Phîi Porsche is just...
Thump thump thump.
Just thinking it, Dear banged his head hard on his bag on the table, feeling his cheeks bloody fucking burning. Admitted his thoughts went way too far.
Too far.
Just Phîi Porsche hugging me and I'm shaking. If Phîi Porsche really did something, I'd end up in the nut house for sure.
"Âi Dear, don't freak me out, okay? No time for crazy. Let's hit cheer practice, hey! Today's the last one. I'm about to be free." Âi Sun pulled the arm of his friend who'd just banged his head on his bag, tossing Dear's backpack to the half-blood to carry too, then dragging Dear to walk together.
And where his friend was dragging him, Dear had no clue. Not with his head full of last night...
But then, the phone of the near-nuts young man rang, making him pull it out. Just seeing who called, his already-hot cheeks burned hotter.
"Y-yes, Khrap, Phîi."
Damn it, my voice is shaking!
"What time you done today? I'll come pick you up."
"Âi Sun, Âi Dear's hand is shaking." And like, now's the time? The half-blood even pointed it out, making Dear, trying hard to keep it together, turn his back quick and step away from them a bit.
"Uh, today I've got final cheer practice, Phîi Porsche. Starts at nine. The seniors said it'll wrap around one or two AM. Yesterday you came back late, so I didn't tell you."
And last night, don't expect me to remember.
Dear could only tell himself quiet. Since Phîi Porsche didn't bring up last night, why would he mention it and make himself shy and embarrassed?
"That's late. I'll go wait to pick you up."
"N-no... it's okay, Khrap. I don't know the exact end time. I'll have Âi Sun drop me off on his bike." Don't call me out, but why's it feel... bloody fucking like we're a couple?
"Okay." Phîi Porsche went quiet a sec, then agreed, hanging up, making Dear grin wide, no stopping it.
Feels like I'm floating, somehow.
"You guys, let's hit cheer practice. Quick. I want to get back to my room." Then he spun to face his two friends giving him total side-eye. But right now, I don't care, don't mind. I'm happy. Who cares?
"Oh, your new Phûa waiting at your place, huh? You don't care about me anymore..."
"Shut your dog-mouth, Âi Sun. Hurry up, you're dragging ass." Dear said, not caring, and led his two friends to the auditorium fast, hearing Âi Shin's faint, annoying voice on the wind.
"You gotta change your pulling game, Âi Sun. Looks like Âi Dear likes fast pullers."
Say what you want, I don't care. I want to hit cheer practice. I want to get home. I want to flirt with the guy at home. Tonight, I'm leaving my bedroom door open!
Dear's vibe—blushing one sec, grinning wide the next—made Sun chuckle, like he caught some long-lost spark in his close friend. Linking it to something he knew before... it clicked.
"Âi Dear go nuts like this often?" Âi Shin, walking beside him, asked curious, but he still carried the bag of the young man floating on air. The question made Sun laugh loud.
"He isn't like this often. Real talk, I've only seen him like this once, back in tenth grade."
Dead ringer. Back then he wouldn't shut up about... Lex's Phîi, till folks teased, 'What, you gay or something, always yapping about your friend's Phîi?' Made his crazy vanish for years. But now, Âi Dear, don't be a real thief. You can't even hide your feelings.
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