Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
~~~
"The restaurant beneath the learning commons building today seemed packed with students, leaving almost no free space. Meanwhile, the three pointer friends (Dear had truly said he could not escape them) were seated at one table with a few section-mates. Today was oddly surprising because Âi Khun-chai, who loved to devour noodles, sat merely staring at his phone, letting his bowl of waterfall noodle soup grow cold and rubbery repeatedly.
"Âi Shin, are you not eating?" Dear finally could not resist asking, for he had consumed half his plate of rice, while the other had scarcely managed one mouthful of noodles. As for Âi Sunny, there was no need to ask—something was amiss today. He ate his rice while glancing left and right, as if searching for someone.
"I am eating. I merely await its rubbery state first."
"Hmm."
"It is an entirely different mood, you know."
"You don't know? Eating it hot is one mood. Eating it cold and soggy is another mood entirely."
Sometimes, Khrap, I genuinely do not comprehend his dramatic sensibility at all, Dear thought.
Shin answered deadpan, stowing his phone in his pocket when he saw his friends looking, and lifted his chopsticks to take a bite himself. After letting the entire bowl of noodles lose its heat, his ears cought the voice of a tablemate who turned to ask.
"Well, have you heard the news about the Faculty Star and Moon? They hold it next Monday, man. Our bloody room is to perform 'Young Man Falls in Water.'"
"Hmm?" This time, Dear turned snap to look, curious. This Faculty Star and Moon matter, he had heard somewhat of it. It was thus, Khrap: the Faculty of Engineering at his university, with its many students, divided them into rooms mixing students from each department. When choosing the Star and Moon (as Âi Shin had related last week), they selected a representative from each room to compete, with judging and such. They also went out to gather funds for the room, akin to a festival solely for engineering students. But he only now learned this room was performing... Young Man Falls in Water.
"Good Lord, 'Young Man Falls in Water'? Whence shall you find one?" He could not resist asking, making a horrified face. You would find a bloody kathoey falling in water more easily. Or a hairy gorilla—this room is full of them, Dear thought.
Smack
But then, that half-breed moved and locked him in a headlock. Such a headlock betokened annoyance, but the other spoke loudly.
"Go look in a mirror, Dear. You shall see... a perfect young man, I tell you."
"Âi Shin!!" Dear turned and shouted loudly. Bloody hell, you are at it again! You truly love thrusting this 'attractive young man' nonsense upon me! That made the half-breed shrug.
"Come now, accept the truth. If they need a young man to sit in the tub, you shall not escape, believe me." That one, who knew they were in different rooms, foretold the future until the listener made a horrified face, shaking his head, snap—I refuse utterly, man!
"Hahaha, I don't believe not Âi Shin yet. Who sits depends on the throwers, man. I asked an upperclassman quietly. Avoid it if you can. Don't pass by both our room's. If Âi-team-controllers spot anyone there, they seize them to sit. I heard Phîi Boem, your guy, sat in the tub once for walking wrongly. That year, all said it was a giant falling in water, I tell you." These words made the listener heave a great sigh and cast a look as if to leap and strangle Âi-half-breed, who, bloody hell, returned to eating his noodles like a proper Khun-chai again.
Is teasing me so amusing? I truly wish to ask you all, Dear thought.
"But I deem this year, our room's Âi Sunny shall be the representative." He spoke, nodding toward that popular friend who joined not the usual banter. Besides craning his neck seeking something, he heeded not the conversation.
"Well, we depart then. See you tonight." Therewith, the friends eating together rose to clear their plates, making Dear turn to Âi Sunny, who fidgeted oddly.
"Heh, jealous of your romantic partner, are you? He may become the Faculty Moon, you know."
Again, Âi Shin. You could join Âi-Sailor-Moon-team, confound it, Dear thought.
"Jealous, ha..."
Fweep
"You all, wait a moment, I shall return." Before he could curse to his satisfaction, Âi Sunny, silent long, rose swiftly, spoke in a rapid voice, and ran off another way, leaving all behind in bewilderment, making those remaining look at one another.
"What hurries him... Well, you need not return to that topic. Are you truly resolved not to join cheer? You can still skip many times, man." Fearing Âi Shin would revert to his not-so-guileless friend, Dear changed the subject. This time, the handsome half-breed sighed, whoosh, and raised his spoon to sip soup.
"Âi Shin, bloody hell, don't avoid it. Join, please. Believe me, it is but a few hours daily. It ends in a month." His friend's refusal to meet his eyes made him press further. Truly, I am concerned for him. I know cheer meetings last but one year. I wish not my friend to look back and think he missed anything, Dear thought.
This made Shin turn to his friend's face again... the large eyes of this new friend, with whom he admitted he bonded swiftly. Perchance due to Âi Sunny's occasional substance amid madness, or perchance Âi Dear's eyes, never lacking sincerity. Sometimes so guileless, it surprised not that his other friend guarded him.
In my true gay eyes, I deem Âi Dear is likely straight. But Âi Sunny... I am uncertain, Shin thought.
Truly, when first I approached them, I thought him so. At least it was not awkward later, learning I never liked women romantically, not once in my life.
"Heh heh, concerned for Phîi Shin or Nong Dear?" He could not resist teasing, making the little one before him grimace, rolling his eyes in utter vexation. But he nodded.
"Well, I am concerned for you. If anything troubles you, you may tell us, you know, man."
This is why I am close with them. He need not trouble on my behalf. But Âi Dear is thus, Shin thought.
This thought made Shin pause briefly. Those rubbery, throat-sticking noodles, claimed to have a fine mood, he pushed aside. Might as well admit—I cannot eat them now. He decided swiftly and sighed heavily.
"Would you hear my tale or not?"
"If you wish to tell it, then speak. I shall listen." The expected reply eased the one who felt a weight pressing his chest, hindering breath. Yet he feigned it was no great matter, though he spoke of...
"My romantic partner betrayed me, I tell you."
"Hmm." Dear's eyes, he swore, surpassed many women's without circle lenses, now wide with surprise, making him laugh at the expression before speaking in a strained voice.
"Aye, you heard aright. Now I am a buffalo... You are like me, are you not? Admitted directly. After confirming, paying fees, all such, and finishing grade twelve, I was free, so I flew to Japan for two months, for my grandmother was ill then. She wished me to visit, so I stayed there, returning not. I had a romantic partner here, one person, together over a year. Hee, when I was to fly, he wept profusely, insisted we call nightly, Line constantly. I agreed and did so. Until two weeks in front of returning..." Shin smiled pityingly at himself for being deceived.
That guileless face and coaxing voice of my beloved, Shin thought.
Phîi Shin, I have tutoring daily, truly. Mother says if I don't enter university, I shall be scolded soundly. So if I don't answer the phone, I am asleep amid books, Focus had said.
Heh, fear you not that if I don't answer, Phîi shall be scolded? Shin had replied.
Phîi... say not thus.
Aye, then I should have suspected, even slightly. It was not a shy voice, nor sulky, but one deeply troubled, though we had shared much. Focus never spoke to me thus, not once, Shin thought.
"Then my romantic partner grew hard to reach. I called oft, but he said study was heavy, he was weary, wished to sleep. And I was a buffalo, was I not? Worried almost to madness, I wished to return to Thailand, yet fretted for my grandmother. Instead of rushing to meet me upon my return, he made every excuse. Hee, almost a month since I returned, I saw him but once. But my friend... one from my old band, he has been with my romantic partner daily." Shin's tone was even, so even it unnerved the listener.
Âi Shin's face was very still now. Though often still, it was not usually so fearsome. His faint smile betokened... self-pity.
"Âi Shin..."
"Strange to think, you know? This friend helped me compose a song for my romantic partner, truly. His mouth claimed he loved him as a junior. But now, see. Would you believe it? I followed them and saw them go up to the dorm together. They went not to play or study, I wager. Who knows how often they have coupled by now."
"So that is why you are occupied each evening..."
"Aye, I went to catch the adulterers." Shin spoke flatly, then turned to his friend's stunned, silent face. Its paleness grew whiter. His mouth opened and closed, as if seeking comforting words but finding none. Yet those sincere eyes said... he sorrows with me, Shin thought.
"Shin, well... I don't know how to console you. But I understand. I too have been heartbroken, though not as you. Yet a good man like you can surely find better." Dear spoke earnestly, his face sad as a puppy dog, as if he were the betrayed, making the listener, whose chest tightened further, sigh heavily.
"You are the worst comforter I have ever known." At these words, Dear protested not. His mind sought only how to aid his friend. Truly, I don't know how to console him, Dear thought.
"Good Lord, stress not, man. Shall we drink tonight? Or if you desire anything to eat now, tell me. I shall buy it myself." The poor consoler offered other distractions. Though he liked not alcohol, he proposed it swiftly, seizing his wallet to buy anything to soothe the heartbroken. His manner made Shin pause.
"Dear."
"What, what? Desire you anything to eat? Tell this Khun-chai Dear. I shall procure it." He spoke eagerly. This made Shin smile broadly.
Their eyes met silently. Dear gazed intently, ready to do anything to cheer his friend. But...
"I jested, man."
"What!!"
Thud
His friend's words ended. The listener shouted loudly across the restaurant. His wallet fell plop to the floor. His mouth gaped. He stared at the one now brazenly taking Âi Sunny's rice plate to eat. The half-breed spoke simply.
"Aye, all I told you, I jested entirely, man. Your face was too easy to tease."
Smack
"Âi-damned-shit-lizard Shin, die, please!! Know you, I almost wept just now! Âi-damned-nuisance! Âi-despicable-person! Âi-wicked-one! I was almost sick with concern, you damned half-breed!!" Thereupon, Dear leapt to strangle the eater, whose rice almost flew out, shaking him fiercely in revenge. Both cheeks flushed red with embarrassing anger.
Am I so easily deceived? Is that why you tricked me? Dear thought.
"Good Lord, enough, man! Would you slay me?" Shin shouted, wrenching himself from the little one whose strength belied his size. Though his face bore a wide grin, it incensed the furious one, who gritted his teeth, wishing to shove the bowl into his mouth. This made Shin laugh, motioning him to sit, until the enraged one slammed back into his seat, almost lifting a leg to kick Âi-despicable-person.
My heart sank listening just now, Âi-this-fellow! Dear thought.
"Come now, though it was a jest, believe me... I would never take a friend's possession." Shin spoke earnestly at the end, making the angry one glare. Then he snorted.
"Return not to that topic. If you thrust Âi Sunny at me again, I yield him to you. Take him, make tom yum or curry, as you will. Involve me not." He spoke sarcastically, bloody hell, knowing it would revert. Instead of showing remorse for harsh teasing, the other said.
"Aye, you grow wiser now."
Good Lord, why must I befriend you two? Dear thought.
Vexed with himself, he bowed his head and ate, unaware that the half-breed beside him glanced and smiled faintly. That chest tightness loosened swiftly, and he resolved perchance to leave matters not unresolved.
But one thing he knew today: Âi Dear was not the poor comforter he claimed.
"Phîi Ryu, Khrap!!"
Confound it.
The shout from behind made the one leaving the restaurant hasten his steps. He gritted his teeth in vexation. If I could headbutt the wall or burrow into the earth, I would have, Ryu thought.
Instead of pretending you saw me not, why pursue me? Ryu thought.
Ryu, who had merely peeked into the restaurant to seek his friend, met instead that damned nuisance junior who was disastrously drunk days prior. I don't know why I must flee. Perchance I wish not to slay him in the restaurant, Ryu thought.
"Phîi Ryu, whither do you haste? Speak with me first!"
I speak not, confound it, Ryu thought.
Thinking alone sufficed not; he hastened further. But the annoying junior behind yielded not. Smirking, he donned an innocent face, ran ahead, and blocked him.
Well, I awaited you since you entered the restaurant. Seeing Phîi Nut, your friend, I knew you would emerge soon, Sunny thought.
"Why do you flee me?"
Snap
"I flee not." Ryu turned snap to glare with displeasure.
His swift steps halted in vexation when the junior not only blocked his path but spread both arms, as if to corner him, making him scowl. I try to dismiss this mad thought, but such a voice makes the junior smile unwittingly, Ryu thought.
"Then speak with me first. I awaited you almost half an hour."
Thud
"Why await me?" Ryu narrowed his eyes suspiciously, certain the junior would antagonize him again. But Sunny laughed softly and tugged lightly the strap of his shoulder bag.
"Let me carry it, Phîi Ryu."
"Why meddle with my possessions? I have hands. I carry my own." The listener frowned sharply, dodging and pulling his bag aside, sensing the annoying junior acted oddly today. This made Sunny, who secretly eyed the white cheeks flushing from pursuit, laugh aloud.
A laugh that made the already handsome young man appear finer.
"I would repay you. On Friday, you took me to my dorm, did you not?"
Thud
"And... what of it?" But the young man, adept in all situations, stuttered suddenly as life's most embarrassing moment flashed through his mind. He glanced aside. I tell myself this pounding heart is mere anger without outlet. It would be well if this junior forgot that night, Ryu thought.
"Thus I come to thank you. Though you left me sleeping, bitten by mosquitoes in front of my dorm. Good that the dorm auntie woke me at four in the morn, else I would have died of shame."
"It serves you right."
"What? What said you?" As the junior whined pitiably (to others) and kick-worthy (to him), the words escaped. The other raised his eyebrows and leaned closer.
"Why approach so near? Away from me!" Ryu shouted, as the face drew closer. His other hand pushed the junior's head forcefully, making Sunny laugh loudly, smoothing his hair. His other hand dug into his pocket, irking the onlooker more—for he looks tenfold finer than I in this pose, Ryu thought.
The older person's retreat two steps made the interceptor shake his head slightly and ask a question that stunned the listener.
"Why speak you not kindly to me ever?"
What does speaking of that night make me recall, confound it? Ryu thought.
"D-did you recall?" Ryu swore his mouth trembled, making the listener merely raise an eyebrow, pretending innocence worthy of a golden statue.
"Recall what, Phîi? That you drink liquor most daintily? That you mixed drinks for me? Or that you took me to my dorm? Was there anything else, man..."
"That you would..." Ryu blurted in vexation before swallowing his words, seeing the pale-faced junior look puzzled. He dosn't recall that night, surely, Ryu concluded. This made Sunny raise a fist and strike his other palm, looking utterly kick-worthy.
"Oh, I recall too that you named yourself 'Phîi' and called me 'Sunny.'"
Thud
"But that is all I recall."
Whew
He almost sighed with relief. It is nothing. A drunk's cheek-kiss is common. Yet it felt strange. I could not meet his eyes if he recalled, Ryu thought. But relief was brief. The young man, today seeming more composed than usual, made a sad puppy dog face.
"But why does Phîi Ryu speak not so to me now? It wounds me sorely. You speak most kindly to Âi Dear. Speak kindly to me too." His manner, like an overgrown bratty child whining to his Mâe, made the onlooker's foot itch, yet he retorted.
"That is my junior by student ID. And who are you?"
"May I not be the junior in your heart, Khrap? Heeewww." Playing and jesting alone, until the listener was stunned. I expected not such words, Ryu thought. But soon, his pale cheeks flushed brightly. He gritted his teeth, grrr.
You spoke kindly for a moment, then antagonize me again, confound it? Ryu thought.
"Nay, I jest, Phîi. I jest. I dare not aim so high. Here, Phîi Ryu, I truly came to carry your bag, to thank you for taking me to my dorm. I dislike owing debts. Or would you have me antagonize you thus ever..." No need for rivers—Mekong, Chao Phraya, Mun, Chi, Nan, or others. The famed white bag was thrown at his face, forcing him to catch it.
"Hasten to repay your debt and be gone from me. I carry my own possessions." He spoke irritably. Meeting this junior ever stirs my temper, Ryu thought. He swept his hair back in vexation and turned to the restaurant. The one behind smiled broadly, striding long to near his back, then leaned to whisper by his ear.
"Desire you not one to care for you, Phîi Ryu?"
Fweep
"Why bring your face so near me? Confound it, away!" The hairs on his neck rose. The low whisper, and meeting that prominent nose... Ryu shouted, jerking back almost too late, glaring furiously though... his cheeks flushed.
"I feared you heard not, so I whispered near." He spoke, winking twice. He seems ready to kick my chest, as days past, Sunny thought. But Phîi Ryu clenched his fist and strode swiftly back to the restaurant. He followed slowly, eyes fixed on... the nape.
The nape peeking from light brown, layered hair. Now, a lock parted aside, revealing the white neck. Suddenly, the annoying junior felt an urge... I wish to kiss it.
Would it leave a mark?
Sunny dismissed the thought. One hand gripped the bag strap firmly. If I did, from that kick days past, he might wield knife, screwdriver, or drill to make me a sieve, Sunny thought. He hastened to antagonize the other all the way, their voices mingling loud shouts and curses.
But today, Sunny could not resist feeling...
Phîi Ryu is... rather attractive.
"Phîi Bas, let us visit your shop again this Saturday. Focus desires to go."
"Hahaha, don't you have tutoring on Saturday? Will you skip?"
"Good Lord, we can go in the evening. Focus has class only until noon on Saturday."
"Very well, Khrap, Khrap. Then after class with... Âi Shin!!"
The two, walking arm-in-arm, reached the milk shop not far from the tutoring school and froze upon seeing who half-stood, half-leaned against a fine motorcycle. Especially the one in university uniform, who looked as if he saw a ghost, while the young man in a famed high school's uniform trembled visibly.
"Ph- Phîi Shin."
"Well, Âi Bas. And also..." Shin stood upright, eyeing his romantic partner, who seemed to hide behind his friend, avoiding his gaze, fidgeting, face deathly pale. He flinched harder when Shin's eyes met his directly.
"Didn't your Phôo say today he would fetch you for dinner?"
"Good Lord, I can explain, Âi Shin. It is... I..." Bas found no excuse, clenching his fists upon seeing his friend's cold smile. His other hand pushed the one he had taken further behind. Guilt flooded his heart. The half-breed young man merely smiled.
"What would you have me hear? Your prowess in taking my Mia to bed?"
"Phîi Shin!!"
"Khrap?... Where is he, Khrap, who studies so intensely? Where is he, Khrap, whose parents guard so closely they must chauffeur him ever? Phîi deems there is but the one who follows Âi Bas to his room to be taken..."
"Speak not thus to Focus!" Bas interrupted angrily, stumbling upon meeting the gaze of one now merely a former friend. But he spoke heavily as his junior seemed almost to tears.
"Speak not so. The fault is mine. I took him from you. Be upset with me. Let him not suffer for my selfishness, you..."
Whap
Before he finished, a warm fist struck his face, staggering him. A second and third followed, with Shin's furious shout echoing through the alley.
"And thought you not that I suffer, Âi-damned-shit-lizard!! This is my romantic partner. Hear you? My romantic partner!" Shin threw his friend to the alley's ground and struck his face full force while he was off-balance, unleashing all emotion—every sorrow, disappointment, and betrayal from the two he trusted, who wronged him without remorse.
Whap
The act was mostly Shin venting alone while the other merely defended, until the terrified one rushed in, grasping the arm of his likely former romantic partner, tears streaming.
"Phîi Shin, sob... I beg... please... harm not Phîi Bas... It is my fault... sob. I am too fickle... I am sorry... be upset with me... but harm not... harm not Phîi Bas." Focus sank to his knees, raising a wai, tears flowing, mouth trembling. He looked to this other person who replaced Phîi Shin some time ago. Perchance before Phîi Shin went to Japan, Focus thought.
"Stop... please stop... I beg..." The pleading voice and stopless tears made Shin release his friend's collar. His fierce, fearsome eyes swept over before he swung a fist toward the one with eyes tightly shut, accepting fate.
Thud
The fist halted an inch from his face. Focus opened his eyes slowly, seeing the one he once loved—loved so dearly he strove to gain his notice—rise. The one who should have struck him placed a hand on his head. The one who should have cursed or shouted said only...
"I wish Focus good fortune."
Phîi Shin was ever kind to me, Focus thought.
"Sob... I am sorry, I am sorry... sorry..." The loud weeping echoed through the alley as the one departing clenched his fists tightly. His tall frame mounted his car. His hand, knuckles broken and blood-smeared, struck the steering wheel forcefully.
"Fuck it!!" A deep voice roared. Then Shin pressed his face to the steering wheel, seized his phone, and saw the name saved in Japanese. He gazed briefly before trembling fingers deleted it.
Smack
With... the first tear falling from both eyes.
It has ended... the one I once loved, Shin thought.
Comments
Post a Comment