Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
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Perspective Gok
Forget everything I said before. Forget it all right now.
Wanting to suck his ice cream pop? Not even a little bit. Because, truthfully, wanting to eat sweets is nothing compared to the desire to die and disintegrate, to disappear from this place immediately.
What the hell did I just do!?!
Oh, right. I just came all over Phîi Pong's hand. And I spurted all over his hand so intensely that he remarked that my stuff was very thick. So, do you think I could look him in the face?
The answer is... hell no!!!
Who could look at the face of a man who just freshly squeezed and milked me dry? Not only that, I was moaning loudly in the bathroom, saying... "Suck more... Lick more... More, Phîi... " It was purely my voice, with no sound from Phîi Pong involved.
Now that my body is cooling down, my sanity, which I had thrown away, has come flying back. All I can do is look down at the choux cream puff with its white icing sugar, the soft yellow cream bursting out as if telling me to eat it. But I look at it like a sworn enemy. It's not that I don't want to eat it... Let me just put on a calm face for a moment.
Even though my mouth is hanging open and my eyes are watery.
"Don't you like choux cream, Nong Gok?"
And the thing I dislike the most right now is Phîi Pong thinking otherwise!
Do you understand that I'm embarrassed? I'm so embarrassed! I came all over your hand! Give me some time to be embarrassed! Right now, my cheeks and my neck are as hot as if held over a fire. So, don't give me that strained smile and that forlorn tone. It makes me feel like such an evil-person!!
"N... no."
The embarrassment might be a big deal, but if I said I didn't like it and Phîi Pong took it back, I would definitely burst into tears.
That thought makes me grab the plate and hug it, but I refuse to look at Phîi Pong's face, and I still refuse to eat it.
If I start eating and it gets hard again, what should I do? I haven't even recovered from the last embarrassment yet!
I insist on looking only at the delicious-looking dessert, even though I know myself... my face is hot, hotter than it has ever been before.
Pat.
Gasp!
"Don't touch!" I'm not being stubborn, but I am truly very embarrassed when Phîi Pong uses the back of his hand to press against my cheek. He must know I'm blushing, and he surely isn't dim-witted enough to ask if I have a cold like last time, since it's obvious what happened, even if my secret isn't fully out.
Was I thinking then that my secret was definitely out? That Phîi Pong surely knew about my sweet tooth? But somehow, it seems Phîi Pong just thinks I get aroused easily like a typical youth. So, why would I reveal my dark secret to someone I've only met for the fourth time?
Wait! I've only met him four times? What! But I already let him finger my donut hole!!!
"Are you angry with me?"
Âi shit-lizard, don't use that coaxing tone on me.
Gulp.
I can swear this is the first time in my life I've put down a plate of dessert and chosen to pick up a pillow to cover my face, making muffled sounds from its softness.
"N... no. Phîi Pong, don't ask. Stop asking, stop talking."
"Why not?"
You really want to know, don't you? Huh? You really want to know, don't you!!!
I yell in my heart, pressing my face harder into the pillow, wanting Phîi Pong to stop asking me because right now I can't talk my way out of this! Do you understand that wanting to suck your ice cream is a serious crime? And when you sucked my chest... Shit-lizard, so shitty! My nipples were bright red!
And it was my chest! But the point isn't that they were bright red; it's that even though I'm this embarrassed, I still... want him to play with them.
However, Phîi Pong chooses to really stay quiet. I only hear the sound of him moving to sit kneeling beside me, but he doesn't speak, doesn't ask, doesn't say anything at all, until I have to... sneak a glance up.
The moment our eyes meet, Phîi Pong asks me in a sad voice.
"You don't want to talk to me anymore?"
Hey!!!
Gulp.
"No, no, Phîi Pong! It's not that I don't want to talk to you!" I don't know why I startle and grab Phîi Pong's shirt, stammering my reply. Maybe it's because I'm making this kind person make such a face. Whatever is in my heart comes spilling out for him to hear.
"I really don't not want to talk to you, Phîi Pong! I'm just embarrassed. How can you not let me be embarrassed? I came on your hand! You were just going to clean my wound, but I... uh... I got hard. It wasn't enough... I had to ask you for help, and... and I begged... I cried for you to do it. Plus... suck... hk. You had to suck mine, and then I moaned. I've never moaned like that before... I'm embarrassed, Phîi Pong, I'm embarrassed. Hoo, I can't take it anymore, I don't want this anymore! I want to die!"
At this point, I think I should want to die more than whine, but it's not enough; the waterworks come, and I even pull his shirt to cover my face.
Are you making a scene again, Âi Gok?
My brain can think, but my hands refuse to let go of Phîi Pong's shirt. I make whining, crying sounds to let him know that I am embarrassed beyond endurance, embarrassed to the point of being completely finished. And that makes Phîi Pong... quiet.
It's true he is quiet, but he... raises his hand to stroke my head.
I'm sorry, normal people should calm down, right? But me... Hoo. It's hands like this that made me swell and deflate before.
Plus...
Peck.
Hey. What was that just now!!!
Suddenly, I feel something touch down on my temple, making me jump violently. But when I look up, my cheeks stained with tears, I see Phîi Pong pulling away and smiling at me, his other hand still stroking my head without stopping, telling me in a comforting voice that makes me... calm.
But wait, what did he just do!
"Don't be embarrassed, you good person. It's okay. I told you, these things are normal. Nong Gok is in high school already; it's natural to have desires. And being healthy like this is nothing to be embarrassed about. I, myself, promise not to tell anyone. So, no need to be shy, okay? When I was your age, I couldn't control it very well either."
"Really?!"
There are people like me!!!
I ask with hope, but Phîi Pong is silent for a moment, which makes my brain interpret it on its own...
He probably wasn't as bad as me.
Gulp.
"You lied to me!" I bury my face in his shirt again, whining heatedly, until Phîi Pong has to move up to sit on the sofa with me, pulling me to stroke and comfort me. And wait... why are you stroking my upper arm? It's ticklish!
"How about this, let me atone for my mistake."
Now I'm not sure if I've blamed him so much that he's internalized it as his own fault. Because it's not, you see. This is my fault, Phîi Pong isn't wrong. But why atone?
Before my brain can catch up, Phîi Pong continues in a soft voice.
"If Nong Gok feels like this again... do you want me to help?"
Whoosh.
This time, my tears disappear instantly. I look up to meet his eyes with a stunned expression. So I'm not the only one who's horny? The word "help" from Phîi Pong, it's like... Phîi, b-b-b-b, like what I'm thinking, right?
I scratch my neck every time. My expression must be very confused, because Phîi Pong also scratches his neck shyly... again, and every time he's shy...
"I don't know how much I can help Nong Gok, but at the very least, if Nong Gok feels uncomfortable... you can come find me anytime."
Zeeeeeed! Thump!
Explosion! No, it's not the sound of a sports day cheerleader; it's the volcano in my head.
This is a good thing? Who would be crazy enough to want it and then let you jerk them off? Have you used your brain? What good person would let someone else do that? He's not my romantic partner. I can't even call him a proper acquaintance. He's not a shop owner and customer because I've almost never paid for anything. So who would be crazy enough to agree? No one, no way...
"Really, Phîi Pong?!"
I hate myself.
Again. It's another time when my heart and my brain are going in completely different directions, because my brain says no, but my mouth asks loudly, my two hands shaking his arm like a child wanting candy, but what I want is to take his hand home with me.
Phîi Pong smiles then, a kind, adult smile, and strokes my head gently.
"Really. If you want my help, you can come anytime. I ask for just one thing... "
"Hmm?!" I echo the words in my throat, staring intently as if to say, don't you ask for anything strange, I'm a selfish person, I only take, I don't give back.
While Phîi Pong smiles shyly and says with a smile,
"Can Nong Gok use your nickname for me? At least at times when I, uh... am doing it for you... that would be fine."
I was just about to open my mouth and ask, Do it for what?!
But...
"It makes me feel good."
Every word of mine is swallowed into my stomach by this sentence from Phîi Pong, who is staring at me steadily, his eyes sparkling. And I don't know if I'm imagining it, but the look in Phîi Pong's eyes makes my whole stomach feel hot, until I can only bend over, headbutting his shoulder several times, and then snuggling into him because my cheeks are hot again... my whole body is hot.
"F... fine. But only at that time!" I try to make my voice strong, but it's shaking terribly, making Phîi Pong accept my words with a soft voice.
"Then, next time, use it for me, okay?"
What's with the 'okay'? But... next time, can it be right now!?
Okay, I know I'm horny. But a part of me is asking myself, am I falling into some kind of trap? Why does it feel so treacherous? But... screw it.
As long as I can feel that good again, I'll fall into any number of traps for you.
I'm so sleepy. Very, very sleepy.
I feel indescribably drowsy. It's probably because I just had my thick milk squeezed out. After I eat the sweet, fragrant choux cream—I can tell you I licked the plate clean, not even a speck of icing sugar left—I get drowsy from the cool air conditioning, especially since I've already taken a shower. From having the television on waiting for Phîi Pong to come back up, I drift off on the sofa. The next time I'm aware of myself is when something warm touches my cheek.
It's not just warm; it feels really good, too.
Something big. "Nguu," I groan in my throat, raising a hand to rub my eyes, while my other eye slowly blurs open, and then I see.
At first, I don't know what it is. Seeing it's the same color, I think it's a pillow. Plus, it's very warm. So I pull it closer and... snuggle.
"Ugh, I'm sleepy," I say, snuggling into the warmth. It feels damn good because it warms my cool cheeks, chilled by the air conditioning. But then I feel something strange... why does my nose fit perfectly into a groove? Until I squint my eyes open a bit more. I can't help but feel it's a long, straight crevice. I blame the fact that I'm not fully awake...
Snap.
I lick it, but... it's not sweet.
On the contrary, I smell a faint scent of garlic and spices. A very familiar smell. Is it... basil?
Sluurp.
It's not sweet, alright, but I suck on it more, because I close my eyes again, while taking it into my mouth. This time, I get a faint smell of some kind of food I can't identify, I just know it's very fragrant with spices, until I run my tongue all over it. That's not all; I'm enjoying myself, poking and rubbing it against the inside of my cheek several times. After that... slurp.
I must have gotten hooked from sucking Phîi Pong's finger last time... Wait...
Gasp!!!
"Hey!!!"
I jump more than if someone had set off a firecracker next to me, shooting up to sit straight, barely spitting the thing out in time, and then finding that... I wish I could become a Khmer and dig a hole to escape back home!
I sucked Phîi Pong's finger again!!!
The person who is wide-eyed, looking at me in stunned silence—I want to hit his face with a pillow, don't be stunned for so long!
But this time, all I can do is cover my embarrassment by speaking loudly.
"When did you come in!!! Hey, you scared me!"
He's probably more startled, having his finger dug out and sucked, but whoever yells first wins!
That thought makes me scoot back forcefully to sit close to the sofa, grabbing a pillow to hug, putting on an angry face and expression first, the kind that says, if you're smart, you absolutely must not ask what I just did. And because Phîi Pong is a kind adult, he just looks down at his own finger and gives a smile.
"Sorry for waking you while you were sleeping comfortably, but it's eight o'clock now. Wake up and let's eat dinner first."
"Huh? Eight o'clock!!!"
My eyes almost pop out. I turn to look around, and shit, this room has no wall clock, so I quickly grab my cell phone to check the time, and find it's 8:10 PM. Before I lost consciousness and fell asleep, I remember it was just late afternoon. Phîi Pong had gone down to deal with customers. How could I have slept this long!
Why couldn't you? Weren't you sleeping soundly before, Âi Gok?
That's right. Because before, I was sleeping fitfully, having horny dreams mixed with embarrassment over what I had done, so I didn't sleep soundly. Once I felt comforted, once he said I could borrow his divine hands anytime, plus he helped me until I felt comfortable, and I also ate a snack to fill my stomach, I slept like a log. If he hadn't woken me, I'd definitely have slept longer.
"I'm going home!"
"Won't you eat dinner together first? I made fresh pasta."
No, savory food isn't the point; even if you were an Italian chef, I wouldn't care, but...
"There's strawberry shortcake for dessert. If Nong Gok doesn't mind leftover shop items."
Whoosh.
"Strawberry short... cake... "
"Yes. Have you ever had it? It's a basic Japanese cake. Layers of sponge cake alternating with fresh cream, with sliced strawberries in between. On top, it's decorated with large strawberries. I'm lucky to know a fruit seller, so I got these large strawberries from Chiang Mai. They might not be as sweet as Japanese ones, but they pair well with the sweet cream. Will Nong Gok try... "
"I'm not greedy, I just don't want to seem ungrateful after you made it for me!"
No, you don't need to describe it any further. I agreed as soon as I heard the name of the dessert. So, I blurt out loudly, popping up to my full height, and saying urgently,
"Let's eat quickly, Phîi. I need to hurry home. My Mâe will be worried."
Truthfully, Âi Moo worries about me more than my Mâe does.
Phîi Pong smiles, leading me to the kitchen, which has a stylish dining table next to it, fitting for the beautiful room. On it is a clean, white ceramic plate containing pasta. What did he say? Fresh noodles, right? Yeah, that's it, coated with a sauce that seems to be made from tomatoes, hence the red color. But what stands out more is the seafood: mussels, squid, river prawns as big as buffalo, almost covering the noodles completely.
But no, I confirm again, I have a sweet tooth.
"Seafood pasta, uses tomato sauce as the base flavor... Nong Gok isn't of age yet, orange juice is better, right?" I don't want to tell Phîi Pong, who is pulling a bottle of wine from the fridge, that I drink beer and liquor often. Even if I reluctantly swallow it, if I have to choose between a bitter alcoholic drink and sweet orange juice... Heh, you don't need to ask me twice.
"Orange juice is fine."
I sound like such a good kid.
I take my seat (I don't know if it's my seat, but I'll sit in front of the plate with less food so I can finish quickly and eat dessert sooner). Then I grab a fork and start twirling it, after he says I can start eating, and then put it in my mouth.
I don't want to say this, it's repetitive, but... Âi shit-lizard, it's damn delicious!!!
Are you sure you're a dessert chef? Because everything you make is too delicious!
At first, I wasn't going to pay attention, but the taste of the soft, homemade noodles and the sweet-and-sour taste of the tomato sauce make me very hungry. Not to mention the seafood, which is so fresh, so bouncy, as if he ran to buy it from the sea. You could say it's fresher than Mahachai! So I gobble it down. I just realized a huge choux cream isn't enough to fill me up at all!
"Is it okay?"
Can't you tell? I'm eating like a starving man. It must not be delicious at all.
Mhm-mhm-mhm! I curse in my heart, but I nod in agreement so vigorously my neck almost falls off, and go back to eating my food.
"What's the latest you can return home, Nong Gok?"
"Any time is fine."
As long as I haven't eaten dessert, why would I go home? Forget what I said about hurrying home.
Why is Phîi Pong smiling wider now? But it's good; he doesn't ask anything more, letting me continue eating until I devour the entire plate, only then looking up to see the grown man walk to open the fridge and take out a small ceramic plate. I swear I didn't really swallow my saliva hard.
Gulp.
"Here you are. Dessert to cleanse the palate."
For me, it's the main course.
I pull the plate towards me immediately. Without looking in a mirror, I know my eyes are sparkling. I grab a new fork right away and... stab.
So damn soft.
Phîi Pong's shortcake isn't triangular, but rectangular, letting you see the cross-section on all four sides: the soft sponge cake, the white cream, and the red strawberry flesh peeking out, not to mention the bright red, large fruit placed on top of the cream. Just cutting it with a fork here makes my mouth water.
And when I put it in my mouth...
Mmmmm. I really can't help but moan with satisfaction.
The strawberry is a little sour, but when eaten with the sweet, rich cream, plus the soft cake, it blends together perfectly, so perfectly that I have to savor it slowly, no longer caring that it's standing straight up to the sky, and maybe because I let it be, it remains calm, allowing me to enjoy the dessert in my mouth happily.
"It's just the same, isn't it?"
"Hmm?!" I glance up a little, looking at Phîi Pong, who stabs a strawberry from his own plate and places it in mine.
"Nothing."
"Hey, if you have something to say, say it. It's annoying." Phîi Pong hesitates for a moment before using his fork to gently poke the strawberry he gave me.
"Don't be angry. I just think this strawberry is like Nong Gok." I'm confused. Are you crazy? How can my pale body be like this fruit? Until...
"When it's not ripe yet, the color is light, but when it ripens perfectly, it becomes bright red. Plus, its fruit is plump, looks full of juice, just like Nong Gok." Phîi Pong finishes speaking and laughs shyly, but I still don't get it, and I must be making a very dumbfounded face because I still can't find the connection. Did I fail probability class? Do you understand? And that makes Phîi Pong clear his throat lightly, scratching his neck shyly, and saying in a soft voice.
"It's like... Nong Gok's breast."
I'm quiet not because I agree, but because my brain is working. The more Phîi Pong points his hand at my chest, the more I look down, and then suddenly, the scene in the bathroom flashes into my head... the feeling when he licked gently at the soft tip, and then it got hard... Is that what's called... a plump fruit?
"You perverted Phîi!!!" I don't care that it's more perverted that I actually felt something; I curse first to gain the upper hand, while my face is very hot, looking at Phîi Pong, who acts surprised, then quickly apologizes.
"Hey, I'm sorry, sorry! I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I just couldn't help but think they look so similar. Nong Gok's breast is light-colored, but after I touch it, it changes color. Which I'm not saying is bad; I'm praising it, saying it's very beautiful. Plus, it seems... ahem... responsive... ahem... to touch."
Yaaak! Ask me if I'm prone to embarrassment or not!
In my heart, I'm yelling, but my mouth...
"My breast... is responsive to touch?" It's because I'm at an age of curiosity and experimentation; I've never played with my own breast before. Once someone played with it and it felt good, I suppressed my embarrassment and blurted it out, making Phîi Pong raise his eyebrows a little as if surprised I didn't know, but he nods after a moment.
"Want to try proving it?"
Seriously? Who would be crazy enough to prove that? We're men, for heaven's sake! Who would want to know if playing with their breast feels good?!!!
Gulp.
There, I hate myself so much for the moment when... I nod in agreement.
How did I end up in this situation? Let me ask again, how did I end up like this?!!
I want to scream to the world, because right now I am... sitting in Phîi Pong's lap.
Okay, I've sat there many times already, right? But this is different, because Phîi Pong is leaning back on the sofa, with me sitting sideways on his lap in front of him, but his hands aren't hugging my waist. Phîi Pong's hands... are placed on my chest, and he whispers softly.
"I'll start now."
Do you really need to breathe on the back of my neck?!!
I want to ask, but I can't get the words out anymore, because... the sensation shoots straight to my head.
The tips of Phîi Pong's fingers are flicking the tips of my breast through the large shirt. Just him brushing up and down lightly, and I'm already biting my lip tightly. What does it feel like? It's not just ticklish; it's a shock through my entire spine, like some sound is about to escape my throat, until I have to grip his shirt tightly.
"Can you feel it?"
"N... no."
I don't dare admit the truth, Phîi.
As soon as I say no, Phîi Pong... pinches.
Yes, he uses his fingers to pinch my nipple lightly, until I tense my stomach, practically sucking it in. My mouth falls open, a sound almost escaping, but I still manage to hold it back as Phîi Pong pinches and twists gently, then uses his fingertips to flick it again, until I'm shuddering all over.
"Here it is, it is hard now, and quite swollen," he says, not lying, as he uses his index finger to poke beside it and flicks it again!
I do not answer anymore. Just holding back my voice is difficult enough, while Phîi Pong remains busy stroking me, kneading it gently, and then when he rubs harder...
"Ahhh!!!"
That is not my voice! This is not my voice!!!
I try to tell myself, but Phîi Pong probably fears I do not know how sensitive I am here, because he slips his hand inside my shirt. Just stroking past my stomach, oh my, these divine hands make me feel completely euphoric. When they stroke up to my chest, do you understand that whatever comes out will not stay contained? Therefore...
"Hng... Nn... Phîi Pong... Ya... Don't... " My moans are completely overwhelming.
"Here it is, it's coming out, a deep red color now," he says.
But it seems the older person is too eager to prove his own theory, because Phîi Pong... pulls the collar of my shirt up. And since this is Phîi Pong's shirt (borrowed again), it is so large that I can see everything, everywhere. Phîi Pong himself bends down to look at his own hand, which is gently flicking the swollen tip inside, and I... cannot take it anymore.
It is coming. The cherry is about to push out. So...
"I am going home!!!"
I shout it out loudly. Do not ask why I did not use both hands to stop Phîi Pong's hands. It feels good, it feels amazing, it is thrilling, and I have no strength, so I just let my hands hang down at my sides, panting heavily in my throat. I even feel some self-respect for managing to blurt that out, and that makes Phîi Pong relent.
"Ah, yes, yes, I am sorry. I have made it all swollen," he says.
You do not need to elaborate, because lower down I am even more swollen.
I want to ask him to help me, but I still have a little shame left, thinking that I already had him help me once today. If I ask again, how will I look in Phîi Pong's eyes? So I push myself down from his lap, sit down on the sofa, use a pillow to cover my crotch completely, and say with a voice I try to make strong, "I... I want my school uniform," I say. This is strong, I confirm it is the strongest I can manage.
Phîi Pong's words catch before his eyes go wide.
"Hey, I forgot!!!" Suddenly, the cake shop owner runs towards the bathroom next to the laundry room, until I have a strange premonition. When he peeks back with a dry smile, "I am sorry, Nong Gok. I soaked your school uniform this afternoon and forgot to start the wash cycle. It is soaking wet now. By the time it is washed, spun dry, and hung, it will probably be tomorrow," he says.
"Huh!!!"
I told you, I absolutely refuse to take the bus home wearing a giant shirt, oversized pants, and, uh, no underwear. I almost had the nerve to ask him to drive me, but... "And right now I do not have a car, because Pam stopped by to deliver something, so I let her take the car too. I told Pam she could return it tomorrow morning," he says.
Let us just say that the nerve to ask for a ride got swallowed back down. My hand still grips my crotch tightly as Phîi Pong makes a troubled face and asks, "If you do not mind, would Nong Gok stay here for one night? The clothes should be dry in time for school tomorrow," he says.
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