Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
~~~
Perspective Gok
I do not like men... really.
It is true, man! Believe me!!!
I want to cry loudly enough to shake the world. I want to yell at every bloody fucking person. I want to scream that I am manly, I am so manly. Even though I have a sweet tooth, even though I am small and tiny, even though I am not popular with women, I really am not gay... This has to be true.
But... why am I swallowing so hard right now while looking at someone's naked body?
No, not completely naked. It is just... half-naked.
I do not remember when I came to Pong's house (again). I only remember that I swore to myself I would not set foot here a second time. No, in reality, it has been more than two times. This is probably the third time. But I came. As I step into the high-ceilinged living room, I look straight at the sofa where someone is sound asleep.
This is definitely Pong.
The man with a sharp face and thick eyebrows. Even though his eyelids are tightly shut, hiding the color of his eyes, the line of his lashes resting on his cheeks is so attractive I want to reach out and play with them. Not to mention his nose, which has such a straight, prominent bridge that I wonder how it would feel to nuzzle against it. Besides that... his mouth.
His beautiful mouth that probably feels very soft.
Okay, I might describe Pong's face like a gay man thirsting for a guy, but I do not have a crush on him... really, man! Believe me!
Ugh.
My mouth does not like him, but my eyes are looking down on their own. And then I see... a wide, delectable chest. I mean, a good-looking one.
Right now, Pong is wearing only a pair of long sleeping pants. The bare upper body I see is pure pectoral muscle, with no fat involved at all. There are his broad shoulders, his solid chest, his six-pack, and the muscles on his upper arms that are so clearly defined they look sculpted, making me want to touch them. I feel so frustrated that the other person is sleeping with his arms loosely crossed over his chest, so his forearms block more than half of his stomach.
Phew.
Good Lord, I am drooling!
I want to curse myself for being such a shit-lizard, because I stare blankly without realizing it. I only become aware when I wipe the back of my hand across my mouth and find a trail of saliva there. I want to bang my head against the wall and scream, "You damned-animal Gok, how far will your lust go? You do not even spare men!"
"You are not going to eat me, are you?"
"Hey!"
While I am fighting with my own thoughts, I hear an extremely whiny voice that makes me accidentally yell out loud. I then clamp my hand over my mouth, afraid it will wake Pong. When I look up at the source of the voice, I see... the most miraculous thing in my life.
Raisins. Two raisins with eyebrows, eyes, and a mouth are looking at me with pitiful expressions. They speak in unison:
"You are really not going to eat me, are you? Boo hoo. I was born to be eaten by others." Raisin Number 1 whimpers.
"You can eat me in bread, but why will you not eat me plain?" And Number 2 complains even more petulantly. Then...
"Eat me! Eat me! Eat me!"
The two of them start making such grating, fussy noises that I get annoyed. And I must be crazy, because I walk over to them. If it is about eating... I can do it.
"Hey, stop yelling. You are hurting my ears. Come on, fine, I will eat you."
I say this just to cut the annoyance, which makes them beam with smiles, lying down and waiting for me to bend down and eat them.
Yeah, I eat in a peculiar way, don't I?
Most people pick up a raisin and put it in their mouth, right? But not me. I bend down, look at it for a moment, tilt my head a little, and then... I lick it.
It is soft, pliable, and incredibly sweet.
I think I am getting hooked. So I bend down again and smear the tip of my tongue over the dark raisin, up and down. And whether out of reluctance or something else, I do not bite into it. Instead, I swirl my tongue around the soft seed, back and forth, slowly savoring a flavor I have never tasted before.
Nibble.
Then I start to use my mouth to nibble it gently, planning to press lightly with my lips first before slowly chewing. But...
Why is it getting hard?
I frown, concentrating. Just as I am savoring it delightfully, I open my eyes.
Slowly... slowly...
My eyes then fly wide open, because what I am eating is not a raisin, but... a nipple.
Yes.
Holy shit-lizard, and it is Pong's nipple!!!
I open my eyes wide, almost recoiling backward. I can only snap my head up to look at the sleeping man and find Pong still fast asleep in the same position. I quickly look back down at the evidence... the small, hard, wet nipple, soaked with my saliva. And let-me-die, why is a wet nipple on a hard, muscular chest so damn sexy!
"No, no, no, no! You damned-animal Gok, no! You must not!"
I try to stop myself, but ever since I got close to Pong, my brain and my body have been out of sync for a long time. So my mouth says no, but my hand... is kneading Pong's nipple.
Soft, but also hard. It feels bloody fucking good. I want to squeeze it again. No... I want to suck it again.
When I was a youth, I was not deprived of affection. My Mâe says she breastfed me until I weaned myself. But why am I acting like someone who has never had milk from the breast? I stare fixedly at Pong's chest, and my mouth opens, to...
Smooch.
Bloody fucking hell... I am sucking it!
I want to stop, but I cannot. My lips are pursing together like when I pronounce the vowel 'oo'. It is exactly like that. While I suck the nipple gently, using my tongue to lick the tip, no milk comes out, of course. But it is delicious. No, the act of sucking is. Meanwhile, my other hand moves to play with the other one. And let-me-die, Pong's sun-kissed skin is begging me to... lick lower.
A taste like caramel... sweet on the tip of my tongue, but with a faint bitterness.
Snap.
I cannot take it anymore. The first feeling I had when I saw Pong shirtless returns... I want to devour him.
I push his arms, which are crossed over his chest, away. I do not care anymore. As I drag the tip of my tongue across his stomach, it is so thrilling.
When my tongue passes over the rippling, well-defined abdominal muscles, and my tongue moves along the ridges, it gives me goosebumps all over. Plus, his smooth skin makes me want to taste it even more. And I want to curse my own misbehaving hands.
I... am pulling the elastic waistband of Pong's pants.
Since my tongue has licked its way down to the fine hairs, and now I encounter the obstacle of his elastic sleep pants, I grab the waistband immediately. My heart does not really want to know, but my eyes are looking down, staring intently as if that slightly revealed gap is hiding a priceless treasure.
The ultimate sweet treat that I definitely have never tried before.
My eyes watch my hands. I swallow. And when the waistband is pulled up high, I see...
Chomp.
Crash!!!
"Why are you so mischievous, hmm, Nong Gok?"
But, at that very moment, my wrist is grabbed, and I am yanked with full force, flipped onto my back on the soft sofa. Before I can even react, my eyes fly wide open. My heart beats so fast it feels like it will jump out of my chest. Because this voice is not the whiny voice of those damned-animal raisins, but the... warm, laughter-laced voice of Pong!
"I did not do it!!!"
Of course, even if I am guilty, I deny it first. My Phô taught me that when he was sneaking out on my Mâe.
I say this, my voice trembling as I deny it. I look up to meet his gaze and find Pong looking at me with a fond expression. But how fond does he have to be to slide his hand under my shirt!
"L-Let me go, man! Let me go, Phîi!!!"
My subconscious tells me I need to run away fast. Of course, after sucking him like that, who would have the nerve to keep looking at Pong's face? Even though... I desperately want to devour him again.
"Phîi, I am heavy!"
Not only does Pong not let me go, he... pins me down with his whole body. And damn it, that cylindrical thing is comparable to a chopstick, huh? Pong is breathing into my ear!
It is so thrilling, so shiver-inducing, and so arousing!
The hot breath blowing into my ear canal gives me goosebumps. And here it is again, the chills are starting to return. I can only whisper.
"Phîi, if you are not going to let me go, then help me... help Gok."
I hope no one tells my parents that their son can be this horny. When he pins me down... I want him to continue.
What can I do? I am addicted to these divine hands!
However... stillness.
Not ordinary stillness. The weight pressing down on me is getting heavier... and heavier, until...
Whoosh.
"I cannot breathe, man!!!"
My eyes fly open and I shout out into the darkness. The first thing I see is not the handsome face of the cake shop owner, but... a bunch of fur.
Do not. Do not be evil. Do not have impure thoughts... It is dog fur.
"You damned-animal Moo!!!"
I push and shove at this nuisance of a dog that somehow got up to sleep on me. But now it is not just its paws paddling or its rear end sitting on me; it is lying across my body. I have inhaled several strands of its fur into my lungs. This time, I will get allergies because of you!
My shout, which calls the sleepy dog's name, makes it lift its head, open its eyes, and groan.
Whimper, whimper, whimper.
It continues, as if to say... it is still dark, why did you wake up so early, Chao-nai? Let us sleep more.
It must be afraid its Chao-nai does not understand what it wants to convey, because it shifts its position, stepping on me with a thump, and then turns around on the bed before plopping down to sleep again. And did I mention my dog is not a refined gentleman like the Ruthless dog of that Graphic guy? Here it is: its hind legs splayed out, its front legs pointing to the sky, in a pose like a dog ready to be roasted, and then... It falls asleep.
The dog is asleep, but its owner... is wide awake.
Just now, I thought I was going to die from lack of air, so I forgot to hold my breath. Now that my senses have returned, I realize... it was a dream.
I was dreaming. And not just an ordinary wet dream, but a dream about committing a crime with an older person!
"Not raisins, but a nipple. And not caramel, but bloody fucking human skin." I raise one hand to cover my face, even though my eyes are wide open, because I cannot accept myself. They say people often forget their dreams when they wake up, right? Why do I remember every single detail, every particle?
From the first lick to the elastic waistband!
Snap.
And why the hell did I lick my lips!
I lick my lips absentmindedly, because the taste of those raisins is still etched in my memory, stuck in my heart.
Chomp.
"No! No! Nooo!!!"
I am obsessed, crazy obsessed. Those were not raisins; that was a nipple. And it belonged to... Pong.
I groan inwardly at this last sentence, no different from a cat. And the most memorable, heart-sticking thing is nothing else... what I saw just before being flipped over.
"A giant ice cream."
Even though it was a dream, in that flash, I saw it very clearly. A colossal ice cream bar, standing upright, soaring towards the sky, as if announcing to the world... come eat me.
"If it is more than this, you should go get therapy, you damned-animal Gok."
I really feel like crying. What is the meaning of me dreaming about Pong? What is the meaning of dreaming about licking Pong's chest? And what made me dream about seeing... Pong's ice cream?
That last one was definitely soft. But to imagine it so vividly, to see the image so clearly...
And yes, when I look down at my pants, and even hook my finger on the waistband of my sleep pants, tears are really streaming down my cheeks.
Thud.
I slowly lower my hand, push Moo far away, and get out of bed. I walk dazedly to the bathroom, and...
I let out a frustrated, choked sound that echoes loudly. Seeing the reflection of a young man with a face that looks utterly horny, perfectly suited to be sent directly for sex addiction treatment, I can only bang my forehead against the door several times. But maybe because that is not enough, this sound follows...
"Go shout somewhere else, you damned-animal nuisance! Your Phô is trying to sleep!!!" My Phô really loves me. He even yells curses through the room.
I can only hang my head, glance down at my pants again, sigh, and say in a resigned tone. "Well, hello, my dear friend. Out on another adventure tonight, I see."
What can I do tonight? I dreamed it myself, I got lustful myself, I woke up myself, so I have to... handle it myself.
Handling it myself is one thing, but I need an answer from someone, anyone: Why... did I dream about the cake shop owner's face!
My friends dream of big-breasted girls. Why do I dream of a man with a giant ice cream bar!
It is Phîi's fault. It is all Phîi's fault. If you had not grabbed me, I would not be like this. I am like this because of you.
Tonight taught me that blaming others does not make my perversion any less.
"Let us skip school, man."
No wonder. Today, like many days over the past week, I am as listless as a dried fish.
This is the fifth day. No, it must be the sixth day since I ran away from the cake shop. I should be happy that my life has finally returned to its normal orbit. Because, if I do not count that damned-animal night, my junior has been more subdued and well-behaved than usual lately.
For many days now, I have only popped up once. And during the day, there is no sign of the plate slipping, causing a protrusion pointing up to the sky like a clock hand.
Okay, I might be perverted, my thoughts might not be pure, but I am not as bad as those exhibitionists who pop a bonk for any reason. It is only when I get close to Pong that I have abnormal symptoms. Therefore, me not being shameless enough to see him, causing my dear friend to retreat to his cave for rest, should make me happy and cheerful.
Forget Pong. There are plenty of other sweet shops. I can ask my Mâe to buy some for me. I do not need to beg that shop.
I should think like this, right? But... I am irritable, restless, weary, and bloody fucking frustrated. I wonder if Pong ever thinks of me. If he can forget me, that is impressive. Please do not forget. Do not forget what you did the last time we met.
Thinking of this, I cover my face with my hands and decide I should not act like a sick fish. So, I will invite my friends to skip bloody fucking school.
"Where are we skipping to?" Ton, who is playing a mobile game next to me, asks. As expected, Pae leans in.
"Are we going to get back at those guys? They messed with my junior." This guy is always looking for a fight. And I heard that his junior was the one who flirted with someone from another school first. When he got bored, he came back to date someone from our school, so his ex came to cause trouble. But Pae is brainless to begin with; he thinks if he is disrespected, he must get even.
"Go by yourself. I am going to the game shop... Are you guys coming?" I push Pae's head away and ask my other friends. Some of them nod, some shake their heads.
"Nah, I do not want my Phô to drag me into the cold room."
The cold room is the discipline office.
"Bunch of cowards!" I just smile and curse them, then stand up to my full height.
"I do not know about you, but I am skipping. If you change your mind, see you at the game shop." I will play games to forget everything!
Thinking this, I grab my backpack and tuck it under my arm. Ton and Plook get up and follow me straight to the usual spot by the wall. Let me tell you, I am the most experienced in this school because I have been sneaking out since middle school. Jumping over this wall is my specialty. So, I turn to hand my backpack to Ton.
"I am going first," I tell him, before jumping to grab the top of the wall. Using my Shaolin skills, I kick myself up, being careful of the sharp spikes installed along the edge because last year a foolish senior slipped and got his arm impaled. Then I push myself to the other side of the wall.
I am looking for a good spot to jump down when...
"Oh, teacher, what are you doing here?" a friend calls out.
Damn it!!!
I snap my head around when I hear the voice and see a bulging belly peeking out from around the corner of the wall. I do not need to be told whose belly this is. I let go of my hands, drop to the ground, and roll nimbly, then I dash away, man, even if I hear a voice carried on the wind.
"I am here to catch students skipping school! Hey, stop!!!"
The teacher probably just turned and saw me, but why would I stay to get caught? I bolt away swiftly, also pulling out my mobile phone to call my gang members.
[Hey, Gok, what is happening?]
"Someone must have ratted us out! Do not come out! A damned-animal teacher is waiting outside! You damned-animal bunch must have had someone snitch!"
[That damned-animal! Just wait, I will go ambush and beat them up one by one!]
"Yeah, that is it for now! I am running!" I hang up on them, glance back. My luck is bloody fucking lucky that the person waiting is a middle-aged teacher who is overweight. He might be strict, he might be Ruthless, but he is truly not in good shape to run after a young man like me. So, I run, twisting and turning through the alleys next to the school, emerging into another alley. I am panting so hard my body is heaving as I look back.
"Huff, huff, huff... I made it... "
I have just punched the air a little when the sound of a car horn blares loudly down the entire street. When I turn back, I find that... I have run more than five steps past the curb.
My steps are small, but five steps is enough for a car to hit me easily!
Screeeeeeeeeech.
However, the sound of brakes echoes, shaking the air. The car that seemed about to hit me is fast enough to swerve out of the way, skidding past, grazing me so close that a hot gust of wind brushes past my waist.
Gasp.
Of course, I am so shocked I collapse.
My knees go weak, my hands tremble, and I just sit down right on the road. Meanwhile, that car stops in the middle of the street. Since this road is not busy during the day, no other cars come along to honk. Then, the driver hurriedly gets out of the car with an extremely panicked expression. However...
"You crazy youth!!! How could you run out in front of the car like this!!!"
"I... I mean, I... "
I cannot answer properly because, honestly, I am very shocked, extremely shocked. I feel like I have died once already. I do not pay attention to the screaming woman driver who is now lecturing me. She does not even make a move to help me up. Instead, she asks in a strong voice.
"This is not one of those scam gangs you see on the news who run in front of cars to claim damages, is it!"
I should be angry, but as I said, my mind is not clear yet. Honestly... I am scared shitless.
"Hey! Are you listening?"
"I... am sorry," is all I can manage to say, which makes the other party fall silent. She seems hesitant about whether to come help me, her hand still gripping the car door tightly, probably thinking that if I were part of a gang trying to extort money, she would jump back in the car and speed off without looking back.
It is okay, you damned-animal Gok. It is okay... You are not dead. Okay, man? You are not dead yet.
I gather my wits and tell myself this. I look up, intending to tell her that I am fine now and sorry for running in front of her car and causing trouble. But...
"Ann, what happened! I heard the horn all the way to the front of the shop!"
"Pong! Come help me. This youth here ran in front of my car. I am scared."
Thud.
Wait, it cannot be the same Pong, can it!!!
I hear the sound of someone's footsteps running over, calling out with a concerned, caring tone. The driver also calls back, happy that someone has come to help. But this name, this voice...
Get up, man, you damned-animal Gok! You misbehaving legs, get up, man! Run, you!!!
I am trying to command my body, but bloody fucking hell, my arms and legs are probably not connected to my brain, because they refuse to move. Only my head moves, looking up at the person coming to help. As soon as the other person sees my face, Pong's eyes fly wide open, and he halts mid-step. Then...
Chomp.
He lunges straight to me in one move.
"Nong Gok! What happened here!!!"
"I... "
I am about to say I do not know, but...
"This youth ran in front of my car! I do not know if he is part of some scam gang trying to claim damages!"
Hey, if I were in a gang, by now my friends would have run over to demand money! Give me a break!
I am starting to get angry now. I am shocked stiff, I cannot get up. Not only is there no kindness to help, but she also keeps cursing me. Meanwhile, Pong does not pay attention to his friend's words, because he bends down to look at me. His sharp eyes look very alarmed. He asks in a worried voice.
Chomp.
"Nong Gok, are you hurt anywhere? Do you have any wounds? Please tell Phîi Pong."
Why are you asking about wounds and then cupping my cheeks!
I think my senses and intelligence start to return precisely when the warmth of his two palms presses against my cheeks. They pull my face up to meet his sharp eyes, which hold only concern and sincerity. The shock begins to fade. My limbs begin to gain strength. My nose takes a deep breath until I almost choke. I am sure now that I am definitely still alive.
A dead person would not smell the fragrant pastry scent wafting from Pong.
He is still wearing his work clothes. "I... am fine." But my voice is very shaky, shaky as if I am about to cry. I also grab his shirt.
"Phîi should take you to the hospital."
"Hey, Pong, I did not hit him... "
"Whether you hit him or not is irrelevant! We should take him to get checked for peace of mind." The other party snaps, which makes Pong turn and speak in a strong voice. This is the first time I have heard him speak so sternly. His sharp eyes glint as he looks at his friend, making the other person bite her lip tightly, very displeased. I quickly speak up before things get worse.
"Phîi Pong, I am fine. I am not wounded. I do not need to go to the hospital."
It is not anything, but if I go to the hospital, they will have to call my parents. And if my parents come, they will ask what happened. If they investigate and find out it is because I skipped school, not only will I get no sympathy, I will probably get scolded badly, have my allowance cut, and have a curfew for coming home. See? It is all loss and more loss. So... I am not going.
"But... "
Chomp.
1
"Gok is not going, Phîi. I am not going." Is my hand lying or something? It tugs on his shirt hem.
"See? He is fine now." the woman injects.
"Be quiet, Ann!" Pong turns to scold his friend. Then he turns back to look at me again. His two hands have not left my cheeks.
"If you are not hurt anywhere, then why are you crying?"
"I... I... am not. Gok is not crying."
I only realize it when Pong says it—that I was so scared I cried. I am breathing in gasps. Meanwhile, the tips of Pong's fingers are gently stroking my cheeks, touching my tears with an expression as if he is afraid of breaking me. Let me confirm, I am not crying, even though my voice is trembling like a goose.
"Okay, okay. You are not crying, right, good boy? Shh, it is okay, it is okay."
"I told you... I am not crying... See!"
I want to curse and ask why he is comforting me. I already said I am not crying. A man with a three-cubit chest—no, a three-span chest like damned-animal Gok does not cry indiscriminately. But my hands and my heart are really not coordinating well, because both hands are clutching Pong's shirt tightly. I lift my chin, shaking my head, my nose red.
"Okay, not crying, not crying. But you are sure you will not go to the hospital?"
Hic...
I said I am not crying, so why am I making a sob sound in my throat!
"Shh, shh, shh. We will not go, okay? Okay. We will not go to the hospital, okay?"
I do not mean to be sulky with Pong, but when I meet a kind adult who holds my cheeks, strokes them, and asks in a concerned, caring voice, I accidentally pout and act very petulant, making the other party quickly speak to comfort me. But comforting is not enough. What is the meaning of pulling my head to rest on his shoulder? And I have to blame the smell of pastries on Phîi Pong, I think.
I snuggled deeply into the crook of his neck.
“If you do not go to the hospital, then let us go to my shop first to check your condition,” Phîi Pong says.
“I will not,” I say.
Gulp.
Had I forgotten that Phîi Pong is insanely strong? Because before I could refuse, he lifted me up in a bride-carry hold, holding me tighter than the last time, and I blame the shock for why I chose to hug around Phîi Pong’s neck in return, while his soft voice whispered to comfort me.
“Endure the embarrassment for a moment, I will walk quickly,” he says.
Phîi Pong remembered that I had said I was embarrassed before, and that made me hug his neck even tighter.
Hey! Now, do not let anyone call me whiny! If you have not been nearly hit by a car like me, you would not know how scared I am! Just let it be said that I am whining heavily.
“Pong! What about our interview?” a voice says.
But I did not turn to look. I only cared about snuggling into Phîi Pong’s chest, no matter what anyone said. Now I had forgotten the female adversary, if not for her crying out in frustration.
“Leave it for another day, I am not free today,” Phîi Pong says.
“Pong! But we had an appointment!” she says.
“Then postpone it... Hug me tightly,” he says.
Phîi Pong paid no attention to that woman at all, while he bent down to tell me with a comforting voice, making me nod vigorously. It is as if now I forgot the last time we met. I only know that the comforting voice made me feel better, until I could only let Phîi Pong grip my arm that is damn strong.
Do not say it is not the time for this. But Phîi Pong’s arm is bloody fucking strong. Even though I am being carried like this, the skin that touches is still hard, and moreover, I can feel the muscle lines, let-me-die.
Shit-lizards, I am having bad thoughts again.
“Is anything wrong?” he asks.
Quick steps.
My heart is having bad thoughts, you see. Even though I am crying and breathing heavily, I still bury my face against the hard chest, as Phîi Pong bends down to ask, while he hurries with long strides, not paying attention to the friend who is calling out repeatedly from behind, until I mumble, “Phîi Pong, your friend... ”
Then the response I receive makes... flowers bloom in my chest.
“Never mind her; Nong Gok is more important.”
Âi shit-lizard! Who taught Phîi Pong to speak like this to a youth like me!
Now I am not sure whether I am shocked because I almost got hit by a car or because of Phîi Pong’s words. What is certain...
Phîi Pong’s chest is warmer than a cozy blanket.
Comments
Post a Comment