Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
~~~
Perspective Gok
Even more, I do not just want to die. Right now, I... do not want to have been born on this world anymore.
This world is bloody fucking ruthless!
Go ahead, take me. Right now, I do not blame only the Phîi who owns the cake shop. I blame the entire world, the sun, the universe, the Milky Way galaxy. I do not care that in reality, it is my own lack of restraint that caused someone to see that I am not an ordinary young man, but instead have the words 'psycho' plastered all over my forehead.
I am a heavy-duty Hentai!
Crash
The basin I was hugging falls and shatters on the floor, while my eyes glisten with teardrops.
Before this, I might have been embarrassed enough to want to cry. But now, it exceeds the word 'shy'. It is more than the word 'embarrassed'. One could say I have no face left to live on this world. My eyes feel searingly hot.
I am really going to cry now.
The heat from my eyes snaps me back to reality, and that immediately makes my two legs stand up. I do not care about the backpack anymore. I do not care where it lies scattered. I must escape from the most disastrous event of my life!
Masturbating is not wrong, but doing it in someone else's house, and... with my hand smeared with a sticky, white cream is definitely not normal.
"I... I... I'm going back," I say.
My voice trembles violently. I stand up abruptly, my eyes fixed on the door, intending to dash out immediately. Since I am a little one and run as fast as a macaque, it should not be too hard to escape from the disaster I created. One thing is for sure... I will never show my face to Phîi Pong again for my entire life!
Whoosh... Thump
You traitorous legs!!!
"Nong Gok, are you okay? Are you alright?"
Phîi, do not worry about me. Please do not. Take your hands far away from me too. Do not look at me with a disgusted expression!!!
I scream loudly in my mind because, the moment I stand at my full (minuscule) height, before I can even take a step, my left knee collapses with a thump onto the floor. And yes, my legs are trembling violently, buckling repeatedly, as if I have no strength even to stand. So, instead of escaping, I almost collapse onto the floor. My other hand grips the counter edge tightly. In that moment, Phîi Pong calls out with concern and lunges forward to grab my shoulder, but...
"Do not touch Gok!!!"
I turn and yell at him very loudly, pulling my shoulder away with all my might, while I am... panting.
Not a normal pant, but a panicked pant.
The searingly hot breath rushing from my throat comes in short, forceful bursts until I hug myself firmly. I feel a cold shiver, even though the air conditioning in the room is not very strong. Meanwhile, my attempt to escape makes me look up and meet the pair of sharp eyes I have been fearing... I have always been afraid that if anyone knew my secret, they would look at me strangely.
But Phîi Pong... looks at me with concern.
Concern is fine... Why are you aiming your gaze at my crotch, damn it!
Whoosh
I barely manage to lower my hand to cover my crotch in time. I mean, I have not put it away yet. Then I look up, my eyes brimming with tears, at the cake shop Phîi again.
"Gok wants to go home."
I am being extremely whiny.
My voice sounds shaky and strained, and that makes Phîi Pong move closer, kneeling beside me, careful not to touch me. Then he says in a soft, warm voice, "Nong Gok can go home... but let me help you first."
Help with what, damn it!?
My eyes probably ask him that, because the other party looks hesitant. Of course, finding me jerking off like this, anyone would feel awkward. So, I do not care what kind of crazy help it is. I want to leave this place.
"Phîi does not need to care about me. I will go home!!!" I am being very stubborn. I accidentally refer to myself by my nickname. I have no strength to walk, yet I boastfully push myself up. But as I try to step past Phîi Pong...
Snap
"Hey, let me go!!!"
"Nong Gok cannot go out right now!"
"I want to go, what does it have to do with Phîi!?!" I yell back. I do not care that Phîi Pong is speaking nicely. I want to yell.
I want to vent my shame. I want to scream. This causes Phîi Pong, who is holding my waist, to push me until my back is against the counter. He holds my shoulder with one hand, lowers his head to look at me, but he is no longer the kind-hearted adult.
Phîi Pong is... scolding me. "I already said Nong Gok can go back, but not now. Do you know what face we are making?"
"What face?"
Damn it! I bite my lip. How would I know what face I am making? I do not have a mirror. And I do not answer.
Phîi Pong does not look annoyed with me. Phîi Pong is just calm, telling me in a soothing voice, "I can guarantee that you would not get ten meters from my shop before someone grabbed you and threw you into a car... Let me help you instead. You feel uncomfortable, right?"
"Na... no... "
No, do not touch me!
I only protest with my mouth and in my mind, but my body is completely still. My legs are weak, I have no strength to push away Phîi Pong's hand, which is now stroking my cheek.
He even says in a kind, adult tone, "Do not make a face like that. These things are completely normal."
He tells me, but I... just stare at his large hand.
"St... stop... "
Snap
Before my verbal protest can finish, Phîi Pong reaches over and covers the hand I am using to hold my crotch. He gives me the same smile as before, until I feel he is extremely calm, extremely mature, extremely trustworthy, and extremely worth trying. Then, as Phîi Pong leans down and whispers softly...
"Take your hand out."
I... actually choose to slide my hand out.
Now my fried banana fritter is split open, revealing the red, moist inside. And... it is still smeared and sticky with the cream I played with earlier.
"The color is beautiful, truly fitting for a youth."
I am about to open my mouth and tell him not to critique my thing, but I am not in time. Because the hand that has made pastries for many years moves... and lightly flicks the pink tip of me.
"Ahh!!!" I cry out loudly in my throat. Because I have mentioned it, right, that I like to flick the tip of myself? When I playfully poke and smear it, sometimes it just spurts. As he carefully smears my red tip, I feel a jolt of pleasure shoot to my head. My legs tremble and buckle until I almost collapse to the floor.
Grab.
"Hup!"
Instantly, Phîi Pong grabs my waist, using those bundled muscles to lift me onto the counter. I tell you truthfully, I had no strength to get up. I said my legs were shaking badly. As I am about to cry out 'stop, stop,' Phîi Pong... uses his other hand to grasp my beloved center, places two fingers over my balls, and then slowly starts to move, kneading it gently.
"Does it hurt? Am I being too rough?"
I want to tell him to let go, damn it. Who would want another man to hold them? But I... grip his shirt tightly, and even whisper,
"Harder, Phîi Pong."
Damn it, I just found out my voice can be this hoarse and broken. But now the same arousal is coming again.
"Okay, like this then." Phîi Pong adjusts his grip to be tighter than before, then starts to stroke up and down slowly, making the skin covering my tip move up and down, revealing the cherry head that pops in and out. And it is extremely red. Perhaps afraid I am in pain or something, he uses his other hand to gently knead the part that is protruding.
Squish squish squish
"Ah... ha... a-huee ooh."
"Does it feel good?"
I can barely hear what Phîi Pong is asking. My ears are ringing, my vision is blurry, my heart is beating so hard it drowns out everything. But my mouth still answers.
"Phîi, Gok feels tingling, tingling... ah... very tingling."
Is this what it feels like to be jerked off by someone else?!
I am like I have discovered a new world. Just the large hands of the dessert chef making a donut motion, playing with my small-sized cheese sausage, makes me feel all dizzy. I bite my own lip hard, my hand clutching Phîi Pong's new shirt until it is almost crumpled as I half-sit, half-lie on the counter. My eyes glance at the cake box he placed to the side, and because I am not in my right mind due to this arousal, I
whisper tremulously, "Phîi... let Gok suck again... "
"Pardon?"
"The cream, your finger, ha, again, suck, again... "
I know I am not speaking in complete sentences, but Phîi Pong must understand, because he looks comprehending. He removes the hand playing with my cherry head, leaving only the hand that is stroking up and down, alternating with kneading my balls as I twist like a beached fish. Then he reaches over, scoops some cream onto his finger, and brings it to my lips.
"Like this?"
I do not answer, because I... just act.
Grab
Slurp!
Now, do not call me lewd, because it has gone beyond the word despicable-person!
I firmly grab Phîi Pong's wrist and immediately put his long finger into my mouth. I both suck and lick and taste the sweet, rich flavor spreading all over my tongue. Meanwhile, I make Phîi Pong probe his finger all around the cavity of my mouth, play with my tongue. And, let me die, it is so thrilling. I get goosebumps. My hips shake and buckle, pushing towards Phîi Pong's hand without needing to be told.
"Phîi, can you do it faster?"
"Mmm-mmm-mmm!" My mouth is busy because I am using my tongue to lick along the grooves of Phîi Pong's finger. Only my head nods up and down vigorously, before I shake my head, barely having time to look up when...
Squish squish squish squish
I ask you, is there anything this pair of hands cannot do?
I tell you, it is both tingling, and thrilling, and I want it. Ouch, I am going to die. I am about to die from the tingling. My eyes are completely blurred.
"Ah, ha, ha, more, Phîi, Phîi, I am going to, going to, burst... "
I now know what it feels like to be so turned on you almost die... it feels like this!
My two legs kick and writhe in the air as Phîi Pong moves to hold the base and twists it vigorously in the air, slapping it lightly against my thigh. Then he speeds up his hand. I hear the squishy, slick sounds of the sticky fluid mixed with the melting cream echoing throughout the wide room. Meanwhile, I open my mouth and moan with a trembling voice in my throat. My vision blurs, my ears ring, my stomach tenses until it is taut. And right then...
"Ah, ah, more... hue, ah!!!"
Splat
I release everything, spurting sharply into the air, then it drips messily right on my stomach like a fountain.
"Hack, hack... hack... "
Of course, I am panting. I am tired. I have just experienced a new world I have never touched before for the first time... a world made by someone else.
Does it feel good?... Extremely.
Do I like it?... The most.
Is it good?... Bloody fucking good.
But there is one question echoing in my swollen brain:
Am I embarrassed, you damned-animal!!!
And the answer to it is:
I want to kill myself to escape reality!
"Let me wipe you." My ears are still ringing, my vision blurry. I still feel hot where I was kneaded and stroked. I do not know where Phîi Pong went. I am panting so hard my body is swaying. My eyes are bleary as I look at the cake box placed on the counter, while trying to gather my scattered wits back together. Once they start to form a coherent shape...
Whoosh
Slap!!!
I smack Phîi Pong's hand, which is using a wet wipe to clean my little mouse, with full force. I kick myself up to stand on the floor. Okay, it is true my legs are shaking, but the cold shivers are gone. And they are much more stable now because I feel comfortable. So, do not call me ungrateful for looking at Phîi Pong angrily while his pair of sharp eyes still look at me the same as before. It would be much better if he looked at me differently, but this... Do not look at me like this!
Am I the only one who is abnormal?!
I dislike this thought intensely. I put on my pants swiftly, not caring if they are dirty or wet. I do not care, damn it! Because I only know that...
"Because of Phîi Pong! Because of Phîi alone!!!"
I blame him. It is all his fault!!!
I have controlled my secret for many years, but after meeting this man for less than a week, I have completely lost it. My eyes are watery and blurry until I know that damn it... I have broken.
"It is Phîi's fault!!!"
I shout in his face, and my mouth opens. Damn it... I am really going to cry now!
Phîi Pong makes a move to walk towards me, reaching out his hand intending to touch my cheek.
"It is my fault. Do not cry, good youth."
Do not call me a good youth!
I protest vehemently in my heart, but just in my mind, I do not say it out loud. And just as Phîi Pong is stepping closer like a hunter afraid his prey will wake up...
I do not know what shitty sound it is, but it wakes me from my trance, because I... turn around and make a run for it.
"Hey, Nong Gok!!!"
I ignore Phîi Pong's call. Right now I am comfortable, plus the adrenaline is rushing. No matter what, Phîi Pong will not catch up to me.
Clatter clatter clatter
I run down from the third floor with a loud noise, but I do not care. I say again, I am so embarrassed I could kill myself. So, I run frantically past the second floor where ingredients are stored, down to the first floor connected to the kitchen, and that door... leads me out of the shop.
Slam!
"Âi'Pong, I have been waiting for you so long I had to come out myself... Heyyyyy!"
Thud
Okay, I know that sound is the buzzer connected to the third floor, but I ignore the customer who pressed the buzzer outside. I do not look at his face. I only know I run into his shoulder with a loud thud.
Yeah, I am the one who gets hurt, and I even get thrown off balance.
"Ouch, what the hell!" I do not wait for him to grab me. I steady myself and run quickly under the arm of Phîi Pong's customer. My eyes look straight ahead, knowing only that I must run to the road, I must find a taxi. I must go home, cover my head, bite my nails, and then cut myself off from the outside world. I must become a recluse in my house because I can never face anyone again for the rest of my life!!!
My life is over!!!
"Taxi!!!" As soon as a taxi comes, I hail it. I get in. I ignore Phîi Pong, who is running after me from behind. I just say...
"Uncle, quickly! That psycho is following me!!!"
"Hey, should we go to the police station, young man?"
The uncle steps on the accelerator fully, asking me with concern. But the 'real psycho' can only tell the uncle in a strained voice,
"No, I want to go home."
Huee, Mâe, Gok wants to go home.
I do not care how many times I have whined for my Mâe like a spoiled brat this week. But I really cannot handle what I encountered today.
Yeah, I am horny, but why did someone have to witness my horniness?
"Aggggg." I raise my hands to cover my face, making the driver uncle ask with concern.
"Hey, are you sure you are okay?"
"I am okay, Uncle... I am okay."
Sorry, what I just said is purely to comfort myself. How can the real situation be okay? Because I... damn well enjoyed the warm hands of the patissier!
It is the most self-loathing despicable act.
***
What did I say? I would cover my head, I would bite my nails, I would stay home, I would never have the face to confront anyone again, right? But in reality, when Monday morning comes...
"You! If you do not go to school, Mâe will let you starve to death! And I will not buy any cake for you either!"
I can survive without food, but without sweetness... I will definitely become listless and die.
In the end, I come to school looking like a prison escapee, looking left and right, making sure I do not see the tall Phîi, then walking, hiding behind various juniors, almost having a heart attack and dying who knows how many times before I can get out of the car and enter the school.
Thwack
"Âi'Gok, what is wrong with you?"
"Waaakkkkkk!"
Suddenly, a hand slaps my back, making me cry out loudly, until the teacher on duty turns to look. The person who greeted me makes a strange face.
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Oh, Âi'Graph, it is you. Do not startle me like that!!!"
When I turn, I see my handsome friend... seriously handsome, my friend.
This friend of mine is the darling of the girls in school. Everyone knows Phîi Graph, the owner of a face that is handsomely bad-boy, truly like a delinquent. His eyebrows, eyes, nose, mouth—all are extremely handsome and mischievous. Add to that his height, which is way over 170. When he is in his school uniform, Âi'Graph looks absolutely impressive. But this bad-boy-looking guy...
"What is going on here? Do not tell me there is trouble. Lately, I have seen you studying diligently, haven't I, Krittitee?" The teacher turns to ask Âi'Graph. And yes, he used to hang out with me as delinquents before, but since he got a studious girlfriend, he has become a different person. Especially after entering Matayom 6, Âi'Graph has been studying diligently. I heard he wants to get into the same university as his girlfriend.
"And you, Gawin! Your friend has come to his senses, do not drag him back into being bad again."
Yes, I am bad. I form gangs behind the school. I even gather groups to fight. I do not study. But being scolded like this hurts!
"Wow, 'Ja, I have not done anything yet. You are slandering your student." I act funny to cover up, because Âi'Graph does not like anyone criticizing his friends, even if it is a teacher. In the end, I am the one who has to drag this handsome-faced guy into school, while he asks, "So, what the hell is wrong with you?"
"Nothing!!!" Is my voice as high as the top of the building?
I shake my head violently, feeling my friend from a different class narrow his eyes at me, so I have to compose myself.
Even though I worry a lot, in front of my friends, I am quite respected, damn it!
"Really, nothing. What about you, why did you greet me?" Once I make my face and expression normal, even though inside I am extremely suspicious, Âi'Graph just shrugs dismissively and gets to the point.
"It is about the dog spa you told me about before."
I drag out my agreement and sigh even longer.
Okay, probably no one at school knows my secret yet.
As for what my friend is asking me, it is about keeping a Siberian Husky, right? And this Âi'Graph also keeps a dog, but his is a German Shepherd. I have never seen the real one, only in pictures. It is a handsome dog with a face as fierce as its name.
Âi'Graph says his dog's name is Ruthless.
Therefore, even though Âi'Graph is attached to his girlfriend, attached to his science-track friends, and does not hang out much with delinquents like us anymore, I still talk with him all the time about dogs. Well, we are both members of the dog lovers association. The latest topic we discussed was me taking Moo to the spa.
"Yeah, I want to ask where the shop is. You can give me the number too."
"I do not have the number saved on my phone. The business card is at home. The shop is around here. I think they do a good job. Âi Moo, when he got massaged, he made such a blissful face." People can call us excessive if they want, for taking dogs to the spa. If you love dogs, you will know you want to do the same for them.
"What about your Ruthless? I heard he is very fierce. Won't he bite the handler's nose off?"
"Right now, G knows the formula for conquering my dog." Âi'Graph says, his expression looking somewhat displeased. I heard his dog obeys others more than its owner like him. Then he continues with a fierce smile. Hah, you and your dog make the same face.
"If he bites... I swear I will take him to the temple to be abandoned!"
"And your dog understands that threat?" I make a disbelieving face, making Âi'Graph laugh derisively.
"My dog is smarter than your dog."
"Hey, but my dog is handsomer than your dog. Ho, saying that, do you want to fight me?" Calling me a little one is one thing, but saying Moo is not as handsome, that I resent. I have argued with Âi'Graph about this many times. But before he can roll up his school shirt sleeve to accept my challenge, "Are you going to cause trouble, Graph?"
"Ooh, your Mâe is here."
I take three precise steps backward as a girl with long hair tied in a ponytail, wearing a school uniform with a skirt just past the knees, perfectly regulation, and a pretty face steps forward, asking in a questioning tone.
This is Âi'Graph's girlfriend, known for taming the bad boy completely.
"Nothing, Janjao. Just arguing with Âi'Gok about dogs."
I still chat well with Janjao. I am not like other friends who do not want to associate with him.
"And we are not Graphic's Mâe either. Sigh. Why does he always keep calling me 'Mâe'?"
"Because you are my godmother, Khrap," I joke back. I am starting to forget the events of last Saturday a little. I look at the young woman who exhales a breath through her nose before speaking in a resigned tone.
"Mâe is Mâe... Anyway, Graphic, do you have to go to tutoring class this evening?"
"No. I am free this evening."
I smile widely. Recently, my friend has been attending heavy tutoring classes. An answer like this makes Janjao...
"Then, come with me to the cake shop today."
Gasp!
I, this one, startle violently. I can feel the sharp blade of a sword slicing into the middle of my back.
There are many cake shops. It cannot be that one, right? It cannot be.
I comfort myself, but I might have forgotten to consider that around here... there is only one.
"Cake? That will not fill me up, Janjao. Can we get something else?"
"The Phîi there has honey toast. It is this big. We cannot finish it alone, but I want to go eat it. Oh, right! Last time, we talked with Phîi Pong... "
"Gack gack gack gack!"
I, this one, choke violently!
Which Pong? There are many people named Pong. It cannot be hiiiiim!
I, this one, refuse, my head almost butting something, while taking another step back, escaping from the couple who are talking.
"... about the dog cookies. He said they are not difficult to make. Should Graphic go ask for the recipe? 'Ruthless' would probably like it. And Graphic should not give it sweets to eat often. It is definitely fierce because it eats sugar. Phîi Pong said that cookies made specifically for dogs must not be sweet and are not difficult to make either. Later, we can help make them. Oh, Phîi Pong is the owner of the cake shop near the school. He is very kind."
I think it is the same Pong.
I scoot back three more steps. But...
"Will you come with us, Gok?"
"I am not going!!!"
Janjao invites me out of politeness, but I accidentally shout in his face, causing the other party to look hurt. This makes me, this one, hands and legs trembling erratically. I want to ask, when I wanted to go to hell, no one invited me. Now, when I am running away with my tail between my legs, why are you inviting me to do a damned thing? Bloody fucking nothing is ever convenient!
"Uh, actually, I... I... have an appointment with that Ton guy. Sorry. Hey, you do not need to make a face like that. I am sorry. I did not mean to insult your romantic partner. I spoke a little too loudly. Then I... I am going now." I then speed off. That bloody fucking Graphic looks displeased. He acts like he will hold a grudge about me yelling at his romantic partner. Therefore, I will just make a run for it.
I grab my Jacob backpack, which contains only one notebook and one pen, and then dash away sharply, even though I am desperately curious about how Janjao got to know Phîi Pong.
More than that, Phîi Pong is kind to the point of death. Even someone like me is close to him. With young women, he is probably even closer.
Let-me-die. And why am I clutching the Jacob backpack strap so tightly that the edge cuts into my hand? It is his own business who he becomes close with!
This thought makes me strangely irritable. But no matter what... I absolutely refuse to go see Phîi Pong's face again!
Even though... I am captivated by his divine hands. A-hoo-ooo.
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