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Perspective Gok
For real!!! Haha, Si!!!! I have never been as angry with myself as I am right now.
I fell asleep. Listen again: I fell asleep!!!!
Arghhhhh! I give up! I will even let Âi Moo open the kennel for Âi Graph's dog! But I want to turn back time to when we were in the car.
I feel that I messed up. I went so far as to be shameless and ask to ride in Phîi Pong's car with the sole purpose of being a stick to ward off dogs. So why? I also know I cannot trust Âi Phîi Khai. He is targeting my Phîi Pong. But why did I have to take a nap? By the time I woke up again... I was in Phîi Pong's room again.
And!!! And Phîi Pong... had already woken up and was preparing the shop. Huuu!
My whine is very loud as I drag my feet down from the loft and find bread, sausage, bacon, a fried egg, plus a note stuck on the dining table.
'I have gone down to prepare the shop. When you wake up, eat, okay, little one?
Love.
P.S. There is chocolate milk and pudding in the fridge.'
This swirly handwriting definitely belongs to Phîi Pong, which makes my irritation decrease... just a little.
Oy! It has to be just a little, Wá! I am so damn regretful that I did not wake up to see Phîi Pong make breakfast. Especially... the two heart-shaped fried eggs placed side by side.
I am not embarrassed. I just stand there pursing my lips, staring at the breakfast for a long while to.... suppress a smile.
Yeah, whatever. Even though I do not know where Phîi Pong went to drop off his friend, what they talked about, or even what time he got back to the room, if Phîi Pong acts like this, who could stay angry? Plus, I know full well that Phîi Pong is a kind person; he would never let a friend go back alone. And a good person like that would not cheat. He just could not keep up with his friend.
Let it be known that from now on, I will be Phîi Pong's guardian!!!
With that thought, I run to wash my face and brush my teeth, then act like an extremely good youth by coming to sit down and gulp everything down just as Phîi Pong told me.
After putting the sweet, juicy, and smooth pudding into my mouth, savoring its fragrant creaminess until the last drop is finished, I look at the clock, which says it is still very early, just past 8 AM This means the shop has been open for over an hour. And Âi Phîi Khai probably has not arrived yet. I then stand in front of the mirror looking at myself, having put on Phîi Pong's clothes. Because the weather looks hot, I grab a dark-colored tank top to wear.
So damn fucking cool.
Phîi Pong's shirt is so damn big it almost slips off my shoulder. I tell you, I absolutely cannot go anywhere in this condition. But well, today I am determined to offer my body as a stick to ward off dogs. So, I can let it slide for now.
"Okay, ready to go, Wôoi!"
Phîi Pong told me not to come to the shop because he does not want rumors about me and the gay shop owner. But if I do not go out front, how will anyone see me?
I think this with determination as I take long strides down to the first floor. But just as I reach the second floor, which is used for storage...
"Awake already?"
"Hey!!!"
You said you would come in the afternoon!!!
The person lifting a crate of cake flour is... my adversary!!!!! I make a face, disregarding manners, when I see that the person is...
"How did you get here, Wá!"
That guy with the connected eyebrows, the most untrustworthy-looking one, looks down at his watch and says flatly,"It is late already."
Hoi Lod! Even if it is past noon, I am not awake, Wôoi!
He is definitely mocking me for waking up so late, how could I possibly catch him? Plus, after looking at his outfit, I find that Âi Phîi Khai is already wearing an apron neatly; he has probably been here for a while. Then he says the words that make me furious.
"Can you handle it?"
Does Âi Phîi Khai think I cannot compete with him? I am irritated, Wôoi!!!
"I can!!!" I answer him loudly, and even rush in to grab the large crate, pulling it with all my strength.
"I will carry it myself."
I have to prove to him that I can help Phîi Pong with work too. Plus, I can make myself useful. But Âi Phîi Khai just holds the crate firmly, looking down at me with a steady gaze that radiates contempt.
"Not necessary. It is faster if I do it myself."
I scream waaak in my heart. I am so angry. So damn angry. Most importantly...
Phîi Pong... he is bullying Gok. Phîi's friend is bullying Gok.
I want to tattle, but no. I am an adult. If I cannot handle a single rival, how can I accomplish anything? So, I yank the crate containing ten full bags of cake flour with all my strength.
"Hey!!!" Ten bags is ten kilograms. Plus, I used too much force, so I lose my balance.
Whoosh.
"Haaah, I told you so." As he rushes over to grab my arm, he even sighs, which irritates me. I want to punch him like when kids from other schools pick fights, but I cannot. If I punch him, I will be a bad youth in Phîi Pong's eyes. All I can do is bite my lip and suppress my frustration. But he definitely sees it... my pitiful state.
"Go back upstairs." Âi Phîi Khai takes the crate and carries it, shooing me away, then walks down to the first floor.
"If you are tired, go sleep. If you have no strength, go rest. There is no need to come down and exhaust yourself."
My jaw drops immediately.
You... are you insulting me like this, Wá?!
'If you are tired, go sleep'... Useless and still showing off.
'If you have no strength, go rest'... Waking up this late, you still cannot even lift things.
'There is no need to come down and exhaust yourself'... You are just in the way!!!
I see it. The true meaning hidden in his sentences. The more he frowns and scowls at me with full annoyance, the harder I bite my lip. I am so angry my whole face is hot, and it is enough to make me reach out and grab his long-sleeved shirt tightly.
"I am not going!!!"
This time, even if you use anything to drag me, I will not go. I refuse to surrender Phîi Pong to him!
"What now? I do not understand young people at all." Âi Phîi Khai shakes his head at me with a weary demeanor, so I have to shake his arm with all my strength.
"I am not a youth anymore, Wôoi!"
"Hey, hey! Khai, what is happening? The sound carries downstairs.... Nong Gok!!!"
I turn my head sharply to look at the bottom of the stairs and find Phîi Pong standing there. But instead of scolding his nuisance friend, he calls my name loudly, almost like a yell, making me blink rapidly, confused in the first second about what I did wrong, before feeling hurt in the next second when Phîi Pong asks like this.
"Why did you come down.... What happened, Khai!?" Pong asks.
Why ask him? Why not ask me?
"I do not know. He just got loud. I was just being concerned!"
Damn!!! Where were you concerned about me? You just want to look good in front of Phîi Pong!!!
Phîi Pong himself looks at my face, then at his friend, before saying flatly,
"You go down first. I will follow you down soon."
"Hmm." Âi Phîi Khai goes down, leaving just me and Phîi Pong staring at each other silently. I am silent because I can sense that Phîi Pong is angry.
"Nong Gok, go upstairs to the room."
"Hey, but Gok..."
"I am begging you, go upstairs to the room."
I am still. I am stunned. I cannot speak because Phîi Pong does not listen to me at all. He only listens to what that friend said. Does he not want to know at all what his friend said to my face? And he still uses a cold, scary voice on me. So I...
"Phîi Pong is heartless."
I only say one word when I feel my nose stuff up. And because I do not want to show weakness to someone who only listens to one side, I turn around and run upstairs, not listening to Phîi Pong calling my name in shock.
"Nong Gok!!! Nong Gok, I am sorry..."
Do not apologize when you did not even think about listening to my words!!!
I may have shed stupid tears many times, mostly due to my own foolishness.
But I will never shed tears for an adversary. I will never let Âi Khai laugh mockingly, satisfied at getting me out of the way. Most importantly, absolutely, I am not that much of a youth! I will not cry to beg for Phîi Pong's sympathy.
"Huuuuuu."
No! I am not crying. It is just a moaning sound.
Thud.
"Âi Phîi Pong is heartless! Âi Phîi Pong is black-hearted! Âi Phîi Pong only listens to one side!!!" I bury my face in the pillow to shout and curse to relieve my pent-up frustration. I have never been this angry with Phîi Pong before. I am both angry, hurt, and sulking that he listens to his friend more than me.
Yeah, sure. That is an important friend. I am just a romantic partner who does not need to be cared about! Waaaaah!
No! I am not crying, Wôoi! I am just complaining!!!
Bang!
"Nong Gok!!!"
I hear the door open. I hear Phîi Pong calling my name loudly. But I will not turn to look. I will sit hugging my knees on the sofa, turn my back, and hug the pillow like this. If you want to believe your friend so much, then do not care about me.
I guess Gok is just a bad youth, right?
My sulking mood is at its peak.
"Nong Gok, Khrap."
Do not call me in such a soft voice, you stupid Âi Phîi Pong!
I do not turn to look. My two hands hug the pillow tighter. I do not look up, even though I know he has come to stand right by my head.
"Nong Gok, are you angry with me, Khrap?"
I am not angry, you crazy person, sitting here like an MV heroine like this!
Squeak.
My two hands grip the cushion even tighter, ignoring the soft voice of the cake shop owner.
I want him to know that I am really very angry, very hurt. If just now Phîi Pong had listened to me a little, instead of sending me upstairs like a nuisance, I might have turned to talk to him. But if he thinks the same way, I do not want to talk. Because actually... I just want Phîi Pong to believe me more than anyone else.
Thump.
"Nong Gok, please do not be angry with me, Khrap. I am sorry for using a harsh voice with you."
No, that is not the issue at all.
"I did not mean to yell at you, Nong Gok, Khrap. I was just surprised that you came down, that is all."
If there is nothing wrong, why be surprised?
Why, Wá? I am not usually someone who thinks this much. I am the type who does not give a damn about everything. But when it comes to the man named Pong, I have to care so much. Even though we have not known each other long, we have not even been dating for a month. But I worry about him more than about Âi Pae, about Âi Ton... those guys can go die wherever, but it must not be Phîi Pong.
.
Grab
"Nong Gok, Khrap." Phîi Pong reaches out to hold my hand, so tentatively that I can tell he is still hesitant. But because I do not move, his two hands wrap around my waist tightly, followed by a warm kiss placed on my temple. But I am not over my anger. Other times I might be shy, my face might be hot, but right now I really do not have that mood.
"I am going to confess the truth, Khrap. Do not laugh at me."
How can I laugh in this mood, Hâ!?
"Phîi, Haaah..."
Again, still not speaking. The theatrics, Wá.
Phîi, Phîi then what?
"Phîi... Hmm.... Haaah..."
Clutch.
"Wôoi! If you have something to say, just say it, Wá, Phîi Pong! Are you going to hem and haw until a toad smacks your ass (?) or what? Say it already! I am getting irritated!!!"
I cannot stand it anymore. I lift my head, turn to grab his collar, and shake it hard, shouting in his face with all my might. And then I find that kind-hearted man who should be troubled... is smiling widely.
"You are willing to look at me now, Khrap?" he asks.
Fwump.
"No..." My voice is softer than jelly under heat.
My hands tremble. I let go of his shirt, turning my face away almost not in time, because I predict I am about to fall into the trap of the kind-hearted angel. Like this, the mood I built up disappears in an instant.
"Actually, I was angry."
Hmm? Just because I complained once, you got angry!?
I turn back to look at him again. But, Psycho! Even though I should be making a fierce face to show I am displeased, why are my eyes brimming with tears? I feel upset, not knowing how to react to Phîi Pong saying he was angry with me. And that... I thought I would be strong-hearted. Why does my voice come out so dejected, saying...
"Please do not be angry with Gok."
"But I was not angry with Nong Gok."
Thud.
I freeze because I am confused. I tilt my head to look at Phîi Pong, who is reaching out to stroke my cheek again.
"I was not angry with my own heart."
"Listen to me. The anger I felt, I was not angry with you. I was angry with my friend." I am still frozen because the previous sentence warms me so much. Even though the air conditioning is on in this room, I still feel warm from the words... 'my heart'.
"And why was Phîi Pong angry with Phîi Khai?" Phîi Pong already knew, right, that he was insulting me?
"Because I was jealous."
I am the one who should be jealous, but...
"I was jealous, Khrap... Haaah. How could I stand seeing my romantic partner grab another man's arm? Even if that man is an important friend of mine. Last night you still seemed to dislike each other. Why are you so close today that Nong Gok can raise his voice at him? When I saw you holding his arm, I was so angry I saw red. I almost could not restrain my hand from punching Âi Khai. And most importantly..." I just realize I am staring intently at Phîi Pong. Seriously, I am so stunned.
Pinch.
"Ah!"
Do not say I am crying without regard for the situation, but who could stand it when someone suddenly reaches in and pinches... yes, pinches my nipple!
"Who told you to wear just a tank top and walk around like this, Khrap? And look, you are wearing my shirt, right? Normally, I already think you are crazily attractive and I am desperately possessive. And this is a tank top! See how wide the neckline is? The armholes are so deep you can see everything. Let me demonstrate. My hand can reach into the sleeve and play with Nong Gok's nipple."
You did not ask to demonstrate; you just went ahead and did it.
"Sìi, do not squeeze... Ah... do not twist either... Ngue..."
I am sensitive, Wôoi! I am very sensitive. Like a sausage, like a raisin, I am very sensitive. But here you are, grabbing, twisting, squeezing, plus rubbing hard... how can I catch my breath!
I want to complain, but I cannot when Phîi Pong is reaching in through the sleeve of my shirt. Are we really fighting, Wá? Why does it feel so thrilling and electrifying, making the back of my neck tingle this much?
"Nong Gok does not know, does he, that when you grabbed Âi Khai's arm just now, the shirt was so wide he could see your entire chest. I saw it. He must have seen it too. And this skin as well. I must forbid you from going down, Khrap."
"Sìi, do not rub... do not rub, Ná..."
Phîi Pong does not stop. This time, he uses both hands, kneading and playing with my nipples. And he says again...
"Your chest is my chest. Your skin is my skin. All of it is my property. Understand, Khrap!?"
"I... I understand, I understand. Ùe, let go, let go. It is ticklish...
"I will make it very ticklish, so you know that I am the only one who can make Nong Gok feel this way." Where did the kind-hearted angel go today? Why is there only Phîi Pong the air conditioner technician? Even though I do not have huge breasts, why can he squeeze, rub, and knead them so enthusiastically?
"Phîi Pong... enough.... enough... I do not want it...."
I try to grab Phîi Pong's hand that is rubbing my chest, but it will not come off. And then...
Peck slurp.
A hot tongue licks my neck before sucking hard.
"Ah! Aah... Phîi Pong.... do not lick."
"Nong Gok's chest is very responsive. It gets hard so easily. Just a little and it is already up. I did not know what you were talking about with Khai earlier, but you exerted so much force your face was red. Did you not know your chest was red too? And it is standing up this much."
Thump, Thump.
"Ùe, do not twist, Sì." Phîi Pong acts as if squeezing will make my chest expand. But even if the top can only swell that much, the bottom... is standing up like a kidney!!!
"Enough.... enough already. It is ticklish... it is really ticklish."
"Okay, Khrap. Enough it is."
Hey, why like that?
I scream internally. But in reality, I can only look up with blurry eyes at the person who has pulled away to stand straight, looking down to meet my gaze. Then he uses the same hand that just awakened my masculinity to place on my head, stroking it gently.... so different from the beastly devil from before, as if they were two different people.
"It has been a long time. Then I will go down to help downstairs. Nong Gok should rest. In this condition, you probably cannot go down again."
"Ph...Phîi Pong, but..." But mine is up now!!!
I want to protest, but Phîi Pong is already giving me a smile. But that is not a warm smile.... It is very scary.
"No 'buts,' Khrap. Stay up here. I do not want anyone to see Nong Gok at all. Because...."
Phîi Pong continues to look at me silently before leaning close to my ear to whisper in a low, blurred voice, as if seducing me, saying:
"Nong Gok... is mine."
Phîi Pong walks downstairs, leaving me blinking rapidly. I do not want to embarrass everyone by saying that even though Phîi Pong speaks so possessively, why, why am I burning hot from head to toe? I feel like I have just been devoured whole by a demon. Plus...
Wôoi! Phîi Pong, you can be as possessive of me as you want, but... you cannot leave me hanging like this.
***
'Do you want to go somewhere together on your day off, Khrap?'
Yes!!!!
I want to be angry with Phîi Pong, but when he says he will make up for the time and feels guilty that I am on break but we still have not gone anywhere together, I cannot stay angry. I just eagerly wait for this day off. I do not want to think like a fanciful girl in a novel, but this... is it our first date, Wá?
I have never gone anywhere with Phîi Pong before!!!
Therefore, I am so excited!!!!!!!!!
However, I learn today that even if Venus does not align and Saturn orbits far away, that friend and his dog... are heading straight for me like a meteor!
[Can I leave my dog at your place?]
"Hâh?!" I yell into the phone, almost breaking it, but Âi Graph is not fazed at all.
[Last time, you left your dog at my place. It just so happens my Phô is a politician and does not like to be at a disadvantage. This time, I am going on a trip with my family, so I want you to pay me back by having Âi Ruthless help look after it for a bit.]
Is it that easy?
"But your family... there are so many people."
106 [Well, Ruthless will not eat from anyone else's hand except mine and the person I am with. But you, last time it ate the dog treats you brought from Phîi Pong's shop, right? So, please look after it for me. Just a few days. You have to look after Âi Moo anyway, do not you?
"But..."
[A friend asks, and you will not do it?]
"No!" I grit my teeth and say in a strong voice. I see now, you are a politician's son... you are really good at persuasion!
[Good. I am almost at your place. I will just drop off Ruthless and then leave. That is all.]
"Shit-lizard!!!" "Hâh? Âi Graph! Âi Graph!!! Not today, Wôoi! Not today! I have a date! Oi! Âi friend!"
Before I can even say anything, he goes click, click, click and hangs up on me. And why does it have to be today, the day Phîi Pong finally found time to take me out? Instead of being sweet and romantic like normal people, eating delicious food, and maybe even going to a hotel for some thrills (the latter is my own desire), why do I have to take care of two dogs!
Wait, it does not end there. Âi Graph is a man of his word... he drops off.
I do not know how the Royal Institute would define this action, but what he does is shove the dog leash into my hand along with a food bag, then he jumps into his super cool sports car—I do not know how he fit a dog as big as a bear in there—and that car... speeds off, leaving me seeing only its taillights fading away.
It is like..... my tears are about to fall.
Then, not even ten seconds later.
Briiiing.
"I am here, Nong Gok, Khrap. Oh, is Ruthless here today too?" Phîi Pong's big car pulls up next to my house's fence, making me just blink rapidly. And then...
"Phîi Pong, Gok wants to go on a date! Gok does not want to look after dogs! Gok, Huu, Gok did not open a boarding service at all! Gok wants to go out, wants to eat with you, wants to be eaten by Phîi Pong too! Huu" I just blurt out my inner thoughts completely, making Phîi Pong's eyes widen.
107 "Whoa, whoa, wait a moment, Khrap. What happened?"
"Âi Graph! Âi Graph! That wicked friend! He... he left Âi Ruthless with Gok!"
Okay, I know I am acting as if he just came and raped me and then escaped through the window, but the feeling is exactly the same. Meanwhile, Âi Graph's dog barks as if arguing on its owner's behalf. But I do not care about Âi Ruthless. I only care that I want to lose my innocence with Phîi Pong, but I also worry about my baby's innocence!
After that, I tell Phîi Pong everything, even adding color by saying how evil Âi friend Graph is to do this to me.
"...And my house has no one home. My parents have gone to visit my brother."
So, I have to look after them anyway, right?!
Meanwhile, Phîi Pong is silent for a bit before giving me a smile.
"How about this? If Nong Gok is worried about the dogs, then we will just go somewhere nearby. We will be back in a moment." I fully agree, but...
"Are you looking at my baby's butt, Âi Ruthless?!"
I see it! That handsome-faced dog is staring at my baby, who is running to hide behind the house. How can I be so heartless as to leave Âi Moo alone?
Even if I sometimes call Âi Moo stupid or an idiot, it is still my baby. I have raised it since it was two months old, cleaning its poop and pee with my own hands. So, if I take my eyes off it and it gets bitten, I would feel like a Phô who finds out his daughter is pregnant before marriage!!! Therefore....
"Phîi Pong.... is there anywhere we can take both of them?"
I ask desperately, but...
"There is, Khrap." Phîi Pong smiles at me, reaching out to pinch my nose and shake it.
"Do not make such a sad face. Today, I will indulge Nong Gok in everything. So, just going on a date and taking the dogs along, why would I not be able to arrange that for Nong Gok?" Phîi Pong moves his fingertips to my lips, then rubs them gently in a way that makes me feel dizzy and tingly, then leans in until our foreheads touch.
"As a reward, I only ask for..." Phîi Pong gets my nose and cheek.
"...Nong Gok to use this, and something of mine, that is enough."
Do not ask if I am surprised... very. But more than that... I am excited!!! Is Phîi Pong saying I get to eat ice cream with overflowing filling?!
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