Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
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Perspective Gok
My current situation is that I do not even dare to move. I can only sit with my legs spread apart, remaining in that same position while staring wide-eyed at the newcomer with a stunned expression. How could I not be stunned?
He... has seen me.
The room itself is dead silent, with no sound to disturb us. Phîi Pong is silent. The newcomer is silent. As for me, I cannot even find my own tongue. And because of the silence, I hear this sound clearly in my head.
It is not just a ping pong bomb. It is not just a firecracker bomb. But damn it, this is an atomic bomb of the scale that leveled Hiroshima being dropped directly onto my cerebral cortex. Its blast trajectory destroys and erases everything, including my own consciousness, leaving only one thought flashing through my head.
My life... is over.
It is over. My sweet, fragrant youth. Everyone will think I am gay. They will think I sleep with men. Or, at the very worst, they might think I am a rent boy that Phîi Pong hired. My school life will be scorned by people. I will be teased as "Âi Tút," "Âi Tàew." All my friends will abandon me. The homeroom teacher will have to summon me for an interrogation. And the Prime Minister will have to call me in for an attitude adjustment!!!
Whoosh
"It is okay, Khrap. It is okay."
I do not even know what kind of face I am making, but I have already lost my composure. In contrast, Phîi Pong, once he regains his senses, grabs a blanket and covers my body. That becomes the only anchor I desperately grab onto, pulling it up to cover my face, just like a rape suspect being taken to the police station by the officers!
Shit!!! My face is exposed. My face is very exposed. You can actually find faces like mine on gay websites.
I am completely losing my mind, escaping from reality in the most extreme way. And seeing this, I am not laughing. My body trembles. Only dark thoughts run through my head. I just chant that my life is over... this life is finished.
"Khai."
And how the hell should I know!!!
I hear Phîi Pong ask the newcomer. He does not know him either. So that means he might be a robber!
I have not even lost my virginity yet, and I have to be misunderstood as sleeping with a man, and on top of that, I might get robbed and killed too!!!
"How did you get here?"
"Before you ask me how I got here, let me ask you first, who is this youth?" I am starting to get confused. So, do they know each other? And because I am covered head-to-toe, curled into a ball on the bed, I cannot see either of their faces. I only know that Phîi Pong's voice sounds troubled, and the newcomer's voice sounds inexplicably displeased.
"Nong."
"Are you two siblings from the same womb?"
"Come on, Khai."
So, Khai is his name?
I bloody cannot think anymore. Everything is clashing in my head, a complete mess. I can only take a deep breath and tell myself to stay calm. At a time like this, I must use reason. I must find logic to explain things in my usual style, and I will survive like I always have, even though this damned-animal brain cannot think of anything right now!
"Well, that is what I see."
"Nong. He really is my Nong."
And how long are you going to keep emphasizing the word 'Nong' to me? It is like making excuses to a Mia when you bring another youth home!
Thud.
Wait a minute... Mia?
I might really have lost my mind to be able to think of something like this. Or you could say I have gone crazy. The displeased tone of the man named Khai and Phîi Pong's troubled voice make my imagination run wild. Furthermore, when combined with the fact that Phîi Pong is bloody fucking skilled at pulling down zippers to get to me... or maybe Phîi Pong's Mia is a man!
I have never thought anything like this before, and that makes me suppress my fear and peek out from under the blanket to look at the newcomer's face.
Shit-lizard, then. Like this, he probably is not the Mia. I really cannot figure out what the status of these two on the bed is.
Even though I only lift the blanket a little, I see the other party's face clearly. He is a man whose personality is completely different from Phîi Pong's.
Is it a nationality thing? While Phîi Pong is a warm and kind older brother, this Âi'guy... looks like he has hated someone for ten years.
I admit it, the other guy is handsome... damned-animal handsome. Accidentally, he might be even more handsome than Phîi Pong. His tall, large build is like a foreigner's. His straight, jet-black hair frames his sharp face, not to mention his thick eyebrows and a high, straight nose bridge. But he would be even more handsome if not for his furrowed brows that nearly touch, not to mention his straight, pressed lips that make him look unbelievably fierce.
Snap.
Gasp!
The person who swiftly turns his gaze to look at me makes this Gok guy hurriedly pull the blanket back over his head.
Am I going to be killed?!
"And how did you get here?" Phîi Pong's voice rises, and the answer I hear stuns me.
"Saturday is my day, is it not?"
Wait, what exactly is the relationship between these two?!
"Yes, it is."
Then why does Phîi Pong's voice sound so bloody troubled!
"And you gave me the spare key yourself."
"Well, that is not wrong."
I am suspicious. I am suspicious. I am so fucking suspicious!!!
Right now, the fear of my secret being exposed has faded a little, but I am more curious about these two. So I peek out from under the blanket again to look at that scary-eyed guy, and I find him crossing his arms as if interrogating a Mia who brought a lover into the room.
"But today is not convenient."
And what is with Phîi Pong raising his hand to rub his neck with a deeply uncomfortable expression!
"Because of Âi'youth?"
"Well, it is not because of Nong here. I just... am busy."
"Sigh. Just tell me straight that you forgot our appointment because of Âi'youth."
Damn! One 'Âi'youth,' two 'Âi'youth.' I cannot take this anymore!
I am okay with being called a youth, but I do not like this guy's tone. It seems irritated with me, annoyed with me, and he does not like finding me in this room. But I did not do anything wrong. While my brain is trying to push forward all sorts of reasons for why I am here... Phîi Pong promised he would do it for me. I did not request a single word.
Therefore, I am not fucking wrong!
"Next time you call a youth over, call and tell me first."
Whoosh.
"Hey! My name is not 'Âi'youth' or 'this youth,' damn it!" Finally, I cannot stand it. I flip the blanket off and spring up to stand confronting this guy, but I do not forget... to wrap the blanket securely around my lower body like a cocoon. You know, so it does not offend anyone's eyes.
The confrontation results in him turning to look at me silently, then turning back to Phîi Pong.
"Is he too much of a youth?"
"Hey... "
Hiss.
"Come on, Khai. I told you, he is my Nong." Before I can deal with that guy, Phîi Pong is the one who steps in front of me, blocking me, and says with a pleading tone. I grab the arm of the cake shop owner and ask with a strong voice.
"Phîi Pong, who is this guy?"
You call me a youth, so you can be 'this guy'!
I am not some meek youth who waits to be bullied. So if he insults me, I will insult him back. And that makes Phîi Pong scratch his neck, but he reluctantly offers an introduction.
"This is Khai, Khrap. As for Khai... this is Nong Gok."
"No introduction is necessary. We will probably only meet this once anyway... Hmm, wait a minute."
I am absolutely livid when he says 'only meet this once.' Does he think I am some rent boy who comes once and then gets discarded by Phîi Pong? I do not even pay attention to the fact that he has stopped speaking, and his brows are furrowed even more. I just open my mouth, ready to retort without caring about youth or adult manners, but...
"So you gave me the key... Oh, I understand now."
Understand what the shit-lizard hell is he talking about?!
I am truly confused by him. Suddenly, he ignores me, raises a hand to stroke his chin thoughtfully, then turns to look Phîi Pong in the eye. And what surprises me the most is that Phîi Pong cannot even smile; he can only shake his head.
"Khai, can you go back for today?"
That Khai, whoever's eggs he came from, stares silently at Phîi Pong's face. After a moment, he turns to look at me, my eyes blazing, thinking that if he insults me again I will unleash the inner school delinquent and kick his legs a bit. But he just turns his back and walks down from the loft. But I hear it, I hear it perfectly clearly with both ears, when he delivers his parting shot.
"So truly a dim-wit."
"Âi... "
"Nong Gok, be calm, Khrap. Calm down first." I make a move to rush after him and demand to know who he is calling a dim-wit, but Phîi Pong grabs my waist first, letting the adversary (I have designated him as my adversary from this second onward) escape from the room unscathed. Only after the door closes do I immediately shake myself free from Phîi Pong.
This time it is not a shudder, but genuine anger, damn it.
"Phîi Pong! Who the hell is that guy?!"
A dry smile. I have forgotten that he knows my secret. Right now, there is only resentment embedded in my heart. Phîi Pong then
"He is my friend, Khrap."
"What kind of crazy friend acts like that? I am not a dim-wit, Phîi!"
Yes, I am not a top student, but I am confident I am not so dim-witted as to not perceive the strange vibe from these two. I glare intensely at the cake shop owner, and that makes Phîi Pong sigh softly and drop down to sit on the bed.
After that...
"What if Phîi told you that Khai is... an important person to Phîi, Khrap?"
Thud.
Amidst my anger, which is so intense my blood is rising to my face, as this sentence assaults me, I fall completely silent. I can only look at Phîi Pong, who avoids my gaze, lowering his head to look at his own hands. And even though I am sure I am not thinking any shit-lizard nonsense about Phîi Pong, why does my heart... twitch?
It is like a light bulb short-circuiting, flickering on and off, twitching like that. Only the voice that speaks out is like a whisper.
"Are you and that guy... romantic partners?"
Why should I be stunned? Whoever Phîi Pong has is none of my business. I am not anything to Phîi either. We are just... just what?
Wait a minute, what exactly is my relationship with Phîi Pong?
"No, Khrap! No, no, no!" My thoughts go back and forth, but then I stop that line of thinking when Phîi Pong denies it loudly, also waving his hands.
"An important person to Phîi does not mean it like that. Phîi and Khai are very close. We have known each other since we were abroad together. Especially since we came back to Thailand together, we became very close. But we do not have that kind of relationship. Oh, and Phîi also apologizes on Khai's behalf. You saw that guy speak rudely, but really, he is just not good with words, that is all."
I do not know, damn it. Even though Phîi Pong says there is nothing between them, I still think it feels ambiguous and strange. Not to mention him making excuses for the other.
"But what Gok heard is that he is fucking awful."
"It is not like that, Khrap." I am irritated that Phîi Pong is defending him, so I turn to look around. When I see the pants I took off, I stride over to get them.
Snap.
"Where is Nong Gok going, Khrap?" Of course, I put them on immediately. In this mood, I do not want to stay anymore. Frankly, I am irritated, damn it!
"Gok is going back."
"But is not Nong's friend, coming to pick up the dog, Ruthless, soon, Khrap?" Phîi Pong objects.
"I will take both dogs back home and call that Graph to get them from my house."
Grab
Let go of my hand, damn it.
I almost yell at Phîi Pong, but when I turn to meet his eyes, I find that Phîi looks upset, and he also squeezes my hand tighter, speaking in a concerned tone.
"Nong Gok cannot handle taking both dogs back alone, Khrap. Our friend said himself that Ruthless is very fierce. So how will you take them back?" Phîi Pong is right about everything.
That Ruthless might not bite me, but I do not know what will happen if I take him outside. Even that Graph sometimes cannot control his dog.
"... "
So I fall silent. It is then that Phîi Pong slides his hand to hold my waist and pulls me closer to him.
"Phîi apologizes on his friend's behalf. Please do not be upset."
"I am not upset. Why should Gok be upset because of that guy?" I turn my face away. I am not softening because Phîi Pong's hand is stroking my waist.
"Khrap. Then, be in a good mood."
"No."
I am not upset, but I am not in a good mood either!
Phîi Pong's response is a faint, hesitant smile, which makes me soften a little more... I swear, just a little.
Really.
I do not know what kind of relationship Phîi Pong and his friend have, but the words 'important person' echo in my head, making me secretly irritated. Even though I tell myself, why should I care about someone I will probably only meet once, and if Phîi Pong is important to him, just as he is important to Phîi Pong, then he surely would not talk about what he saw.
Phîi Pong seems to guess my thoughts.
"And Nong Gok does not have to be afraid that Khai will talk, Khrap. He knows very well what should not be said."
"Hmph, Phîi and I did not do anything anyway!" I say with a strong voice, turning my face away. I know full well that Phîi Pong is pulling me into an embrace, looking up at me as I stand supporting my head, and then giving me a faint smile.
"Phîi knows Nong Gok is a good youth. You are not angry anymore, right?"
I am angry, damn it! But if I say I am angry, then I am a bad youth, right? Then I will not say anything!
I am still holding a grudge, and that makes Phîi Pong fall silent for a moment before asking in a tone... I am not sure.
"If it is okay, should Phîi make it up to you, Khrap?"
Snap.
I am not really interested. I am just curious about how Phîi Pong will make it up to me. Maybe I will get a whole pound of cake for free to take home. If it is like that, I will not argue or complain a single word. But...
Pat.
Phîi Pong instead raises his hand and touches his own lips.
"Are you crazy?! Gok will not kiss Phîi Pong!" This time, you could say I am flustered, because I suddenly remember the incident earlier at the cake shop where I was so annoyed by the dog that I almost snatched those lips. And that makes Phîi Pong shake his head slowly.
"It is not a kiss, Khrap. But... "
"But what?"
"Should I use my mouth for you?"
What did Phîi Pong just say? I think my ears suddenly went deaf!
I am not having impure thoughts, right? The 'use my mouth' that Phîi Pong said means...
Whoosh.
This time, I immediately look down at the target in my pants, then look back up at Phîi Pong's mouth, my eyes wide as if asking, I am not the only one thinking bad thoughts, right? And that makes Phîi Pong... nod.
"Khrap. Phîi will use my mouth for you. But if Nong Gok is disgusted... "
Snap.
Damn these traitorous hands!
I feel my entire face burning hot while I reach out to grab Phîi Pong's arm as he releases my waist, and I stand there dumbstruck on the spot. Even though my blood is pumping, my eyes can only look at the lips that have spoken softly to me so many times. And I must blame my extreme, virgin naivety when... I nod.
I just want to know, that is all. Because whether it is a woman's mouth or a man's mouth, they are the same. So how could I stupidly let a good opportunity like this pass!?
I know I am making excuses, but I nodded, right? I cannot take it back, right? Then fuck it, whatever.
This thought makes me take a deep, full breath, stand stiffly, as Phîi Pong sends a warm smile my way. Then his two hands slide up to hold my elbows, stroking down my arms to interlace our fingers, making me wonder, what is he going to do next if not use his hands?
"If you feel uncomfortable in any way, you can tell Phîi, Khrap."
Phîi Pong says this, and then he... leans his face toward the target in my pants.
I admit I am very excited now. I feel the hand holding Phîi Pong's is slick with sweat, and my heart beats even harder when Phîi Pong... uses his mouth to pull down my zipper.
It is true that I put my pants on earlier, but I did not fasten the button, just pulled the zipper up. Therefore, when Phîi Pong uses his mouth to pull the zipper down, the waistband loosens and slides down to my hips, revealing more than half of my underwear waistband, making me almost hold my breath.
Phîi Pong... is so skilled, damn it.
I did not think it was possible for someone to really use their mouth to take off pants, but Phîi Pong has proven it can be done. My excitement surges. The closer Phîi Pong moves his face... closer still... close to my little worm.
Gasp!
I really cannot help flinching when a warm breath blows down onto my little ice cream bar. Even though it is covered by soft fabric underwear, the moment the warm air hits, a shiver runs through my whole body. My throat is completely dry. I can only grip Phîi Pong's hand tighter.
Phîi Pong has not even used his mouth yet. Just the tip of his nose touches the part that is starting to become a visible shaft, and I let out a moan, panting in my throat. I want to turn my face away, but I cannot stop my eyes from looking down, fixed on the person sitting on the edge of the mattress.
He does not look up at me but is moving his face, coaxing and caressing it, which is as thrilling as riding a roller coaster.
I feel like I am slowly moving up to the highest point of the roller coaster.
Hiss.
"Huuuuh... Ah... " I cannot help flinching when Phîi Pong uses his mouth to gently bite my shaft. Then he moves his face up and down slowly, letting his lips rub and chafe against my little ice cream until I bite my lower lip hard, while my legs tremble violently.
Slurp.
"Oohhh."
Phîi Pong uses his tongue. He licks along my length, up and down until it is wet and soaked. I am excited almost to the point of madness, my heart beating terribly, breathing heavily as the tingling sensation assaults all my nerves. And that makes... my cherry pop out.
"No matter how many times I look, the color is cute, Khrap."
What the hell! Just doing it is embarrassing enough to die, and you talk too? Do you think my face is as thick as cement?
I curse in my heart but cannot speak when the sweet-colored tip of me is protruding above the waistband of my underwear, indicating that I am fully hard. And it is at this moment that...
Flick-flick-flick.
"Ah! Phîi Pong... Ya... Stop... Sensitive... Gok... Is sensitive... "
Snap.
I am the type who is sensitive at the tip. So, when Phîi Pong uses the tip of his tongue to poke at the stem of the cherry and rubs it hard, my legs tremble and buckle, about to collapse onto the floor. But Phîi Pong is faster. He releases one of my hands and grabs under my buttocks, supporting me, until I have to reach my free hand to grip his shoulder.
Flick-flick-flick.
"Ah! Hah! Phîi! Phîi Pong! Do n-" But Phîi Pong does not stop there. He flicks the head vigorously, pounding and flicking rapidly until I am moaning uncontrollably. Right now, my mind and thoughts are completely gone. I can only bend over, arching like a shrimp, to hold onto his shoulder, feeling tears welling up in the corners of my eyes.
I am so sensitive I am about to cry.
However, Phîi Pong might have been born with the lips of a god, because he does not stop there!
Flick.
I feel my little worm coming out to face the world, forcing me to squint, look down through the veil of tears, and find that Phîi Pong is using his teeth to bite the waistband of my underwear and pull it down in one go. My beloved friend springs out into the world, even bouncing and hitting Phîi Pong's cheek. But he is not disgusted. Since...
Slurp.
"Gasp!!! Phîi... Ooh... Huu... Ya... Stop... Licking... Like... Ah!!!"
I can only let my tears fall plop onto his cheek, watching Phîi Pong lick the length of my flesh without seeming disgusted, playing with the foreskin around the tip. And amid my blurred consciousness, I see him flick his gaze up to look into my eyes, before...
Whoosh.
Taking the whole thing into his mouth.
"Gasp! Ah!!! Phîi Pong... Ooh... Ah... More... Sensitive... So... Sensitive, Khrap... " I am so sensitive. I can only moan this word for real, looking at Phîi Pong, who can only be defined as... fucking godlike.
And damned-animal handsome.
Even as Phîi Pong holds me in his mouth, the look in his eyes and his slight smile as he gazes at me makes me think he resembles a god. I only manage to think that much, because I cannot endure it and have to close my eyes tightly. I release my other hand from Phîi Pong and tightly hug his shoulder. I lean down until my head almost rests on his broad shoulder, while Phîi Pong moves his mouth more vigorously and even pushes against my hips.
"Ah... again... mh... I can't... I'm going to... I'm going to burst... I'm going to burst... I will... "
Squirt...
"Hah!!!! I'm finished! Ughhhhhh!"
I truly cannot stop the warm fluid from surging into Phîi Pong's mouth, partly because of the walls of his mouth enveloping my member, partly because of his wet tongue licking me incessantly, and more than that, it is the suction... the suction that seems to squeeze every drop of fluid from my body, leaving someone inexperienced in bedroom battles like me with no other option.
I can only burst in Phîi Pong's mouth.
The person who gently rubs my back, however...
"Mwah... kiss... "
"Ph... Phîi Pong... I... I'm done... enough... " It is true that Phîi Pong has released the exploded, thick lava-like ice cream, but he still sucks and licks along the length that makes me tremble nonstop. If Phîi Pong's hand were not supporting me, I would certainly collapse in a heap on the floor.
"It is all right. I am just wiping it so it will not get messy," Phîi Pong pulls away from my beloved member and then looks up to smile at me. What should I do... that white stain on his mouth...
Phîi B... b... b... b...!
"Ouch, that hurts!"
This time, it is strange that Phîi Pong does not cry out, since I use my sleeve to wipe his mouth, erasing that cloudy evidence with full force. Meanwhile, my other hand both pushes and shoves against his shoulder, which does not move even a bit, before I use my sleeve to cover my face.
I feel the ultimate shame and humiliation!
Phîi Pong must certainly see that my face is very red, because he allows me to sit properly on the floor. But before he can move closer to look, I... grab my pants to put on and flip over to crawl towards the stairs, damn it!
"Hey, Nong Gok, be careful or you will fall down the stairs."
"Gok wants to go home. Gok wants to go home. Hoo."
Falling down the stairs can go to hell. Right now, I truly have no strength to look Phîi Pong in the eye.
But how could I forget that Phîi Pong has the strength of a damned-animal, because...
Grab
"Okay, okay. Then I will carry Nong down to the lower floor. But do not go home yet." Phîi Pong says calmly, "I want to go home." I continue to whine, and although I should struggle to escape, I... bury my face against his arm.
"I cannot let you go home now. Your face is this red. If you do not want to stay with me, it is better to rest downstairs until your friend arrives." I continue to be stubborn, but Phîi Pong does not listen to me. He carries me down to the lower floor until I calm down a little. I remember only at this moment that I brought my dog, and this time I plan to cling to the dog without letting go. But...
What I see makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs.
"Damn Moo!!! Close your ass right now! He is an alpha, you damned-animal!!!"
The image of my beloved dog arching his back, presenting himself to Graphic's damned-animal dog!
Rip Because... Of course, I yell loudly, but I feel as if the arrow turns back and stabs me right in the chest.
I scold the dog, so how can I justify myself for spreading my legs for a man to lick between my thighs! Damn it. This time, Gok has no way to justify himself. Gok... truly finished in a man's mouth. Hooooo.
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