Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
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Perspective Gok
I just said I was jealous of a dog, right? Okay, I think I was a little neurotic. Actually... I was possessive of Moo.
Good grief, it's impossible anyway for me to be jealous over someone I've only met for the fifth time (I even bothered to count), and furthermore, that person is a man. So, the reason I yanked Moo's collar with all my strength was probably because of Moo itself. He's my dog; he can't go playing with others like this.
My dog. I'm possessive. End of story!
In my head, it ended with the conclusion of being possessive of the dog. But...
"Hahaha! So cute, isn't he? His fur is so soft, so biteable," he says. "Whine! Whine!" Bite away! Bite away! Moo doesn't mind!
See, the cake shop owner still hasn't stopped playing with the dog. Even after opening the shop door for me and Moo to come sit inside, now Phîi Pong is kneeling on the floor, holding Moo's big head with both hands, while that damned-animal dog... How long are you going to keep rubbing against Phîi Pong's hands!
"Wow, so clever, aren't you? You're pushing my hand, asking for a scratch, you big fellow," Moo says. "Whine! Whine!" Yes, that's right! Ah, so good! Rub Moo's head more. Again!
I think cross-shaped veins are throbbing on my temples as I watch the dog (mine) and Phîi Pong (mine—wait, no) playing happily together. One is rubbing its head and patting its back, the other is trying to put its front paws on his shoulders, even throwing itself at him in typical dim-wit dog fashion, living up to its name. And that...
Gulp.
"Eeek!!!"
My hand, this Gok's hand, accidentally yanked the leash I was still holding with full force, of course.
The result... Moo ended up flopping onto its back, turning to look at me with a pitiful, hurt expression... Chao-nai, why did you hurt Moo?
As for me...
"Disgusting!"
At this point, I am not sure if I am disgusted with the person or the dog. What is certain is that I am truly frustrated. Damn it, it's my dog. I went through the trouble of bringing it; shouldn't you pay attention to the one who brought it?!
"Don't do that, Nong Gok. Our dog will get hurt," he says. "It won't die from this. I'm the one who might die from frustration!" I say. I do not know why I did not refer to myself by my nickname... I am just not in the mood. Furthermore, my voice is hard as a rock. I sit, chin in hand, facing out the shop window, but my other hand still holds the leash tightly, implying whenever I feel disgusted, it gets yanked.
"Talking like that isn't cute," he says.
"Well, I don't want to be cute! I'm handsome!" I say.
Yeah, where did I get this audacity?
I do not know where it came from either, but I arrogantly argue with Phîi Pong anyway. I do not know; I am just irritable today. I do not care if I am not cute today... But judging by the phrasing, it sounds like I'm being sarcastic, doesn't it?
Phîi Pong himself probably realizes I am abnormal in some way, because he lets go of Moo's head and moves to sit on the chair next to me. That handsome, intense face turns to look directly at me. At first, I was not going to look, because it's annoying! But... the cake shop owner falls silent.
It's a graveyard now. He does not speak, does not scold, does not do anything. So I glance over.
Phîi Pong looks bloody fucking extremely worried.
"Did I do something to make Nong Gok angry?" he asks as soon as our eyes meet.
I should stay silent. Truthfully, I'm confused myself about why I'm so irritable today. So I intend not to answer, but...
"Please do not be angry with me," he says.
"I... I'm not angry at all," I say.
Phîi Pong makes a guilty face and speaks with a soft, deep, warm voice. I might be imagining it, but a voice like this seems full of a coaxing tone, until something hard softens like wax touched by fire... I really am weak to this kind of voice, aren't I?
Whatever, fine, I'm not angry anymore.
I have already forgotten what I was originally angry about. Let us just say I am a kind person, not resentful. I can concede. It's not because of the voice that has sent thrills through me many times already.
"You are quieter than usual today, Nong Gok. Is it because of that day?" he says.
Thud.
But Phîi Pong does not stop there. And as soon as he mentions 'that day', the image of that hot ice cream pops into my head.
"I am sorry about that day. Even though you were kind enough to say it was okay, I understand that deep down, you do not want to get close to me because it is... truly disgusting," he says.
Hey, why is it like that!?!
Now the speaker is making a face like he is swallowing something bitter, looking genuinely troubled to bring it up, his voice faltering as if that mere swollen sausage in my hand (?) would make me lose all trust. Then, pushed by some hell or heaven, I grab Phîi Pong's hand gulp, and then... shout out loud.
"Who's disgusted!!!! Gok never said he was disgusted with you, not a single word!" I say.
"But... " he says.
"No 'buts' whatsoever! If Gok is angry, it's because you didn't let Gok rub it!!!" I say.
You wicked mouth, what nonsense are you spouting!?
"Gok mustered up the courage to ask to rub it for you, why didn't you agree? Does Phîi Pong know how embarrassed Gok was to say it out loud?" I say.
Shut up! Shut up, you disgraceful mouth!
"Phîi Pong, listen clearly! The reason Gok is angry is because... Gok wanted to pull your sausage, damn it!!!" I say.
You wretched mouth, you've ended my life this time.
Now I am panting hackingly from shouting with all my might, jumping to my feet. And this damned-animal body is so in sync with the mouth, because just speaking was bad enough. My hands, you see, my misbehaving hands are making a loose gripping motion and shaking it up and down in the classic jacking-off gesture, making the words seem even more credible.
Of course, Phîi Pong is stunned. But I am even more stunned that I blurted out my inner thoughts, until before I realize it...
"Gok wanted to do... like this... is that more... disgusting... or not... " I say.
I'm sobbing, of course.
Gulp.
"Hey!" But before I can finish whining, suddenly, strong arms wrap around my waist and pull me toward the person still sitting on the chair. And how can a tiny ant like me fight against the strength of an elephant? With one pull, I am gathered in. I really didn't willingly go into that embrace.
"Why are you so cute like this, hmm? Sigh, I have never met any youth as cute as you before," he says.
"Wh-what are you saying?" I say.
I swear I am not embarrassed. Just... my cheeks are a little hot.
Now Phîi Pong looks up at me, and I find he is smiling widely, reaching one hand to touch my cheek. Even though I want to dodge, something inspires me to stand still, letting Phîi Pong use his knuckles to gently stroke my cheek. And damn it, it's really hot following his fingers.
"I am sorry for saying earlier that you were not cute. Nong Gok is a good youth and the cutest," says the cake shop owner with a warm voice, changing to use the back of his hand to stroke my cheek. I know I should retreat; what kind of manly man would stand still and let another man stroke his cheek? But what can I do? Phîi Pong makes me feel like I am a little child, while he is an adult who is fond of me.
You can't think like that, Gok. You can't let a man stroke your cheek. People will say your Mâe didn't raise you right (?).
Gulp.
"Who said you could touch Gok's cheeks? Let Gok touch yours back!" I say.
Is that right?... Whatever.
I say loudly, reaching out to clap both his cheeks, making a pyap sound. But that handsome (very) manly (extremely) face does not say a word.
As for me? I did not want to touch them. I was just getting even... really, damn it!
So warm.
Phîi Pong's cheeks are not soft like mine, not pleasant to touch either. They are a bit rough. But what can I do? They are very warm. Moreover, his jawline looks so virile. I can feel the stubble prickling my fingers, and there is a flutter I cannot describe. Most importantly, Phîi Pong's eyes... seem to lure me to explore more.
Let go, Gok. Let go!
Fwip.
My mind tells me to stop, but my hand... slips its fingers into Phîi Pong's hair.
I think it is a consequence of me never having had a romantic partner. I have never touched anyone else like this, besides close family members. So I am particularly interested in the feeling of my finger grooves rubbing against the soft, silky hair... It feels damn good.
The short hairs prickle my fingers, the grooves, the knuckles. It makes me stare fixatedly at the dark hair, and I cannot resist... grabbing it softly.
It's the same color as the silk thread downstairs.
Snap.
When will I break this habit of licking my lips when I get horny!
And I cannot stop the thought flowing into my head. I only know that the image of the dark hair flashes, overlapping, and I blame the curiosity that makes me give it a light tug, wondering if I tug it here, will other parts of Phîi Pong tug too?
A despicable thought, but at this point, I don't care, because my eyes... are looking at his mouth.
The well-shaped lips that often curl into a kind smile and... were stolen by that damned-animal dog already.
Sizzle.
Suddenly, my anger meter spikes when I think that damned-animal dog has already licked Phîi Pong's mouth. Since a dog can do it, why can't I? Until both my hands grab Phîi Pong's hair tightly, yanking him toward me, while I lean down, intending to taste it once and for all!!!!
"Hey!!!"
However, three sounds occur.
The first sound, we know it is definitely my phone ringing. But it cannot stop the force that had already moved from its initial speed, even though I have regained my senses. Until my face plunges down, almost meeting those beautiful lips, if not for... Phîi Pong covering my mouth in time.
Of course, I cry out.
"Nong Gok, what were you going to do?" he says. That's right, what was I going to do just now?!
My hands are shaking so much I can barely let go of Phîi Pong's hair I was grabbing. I even take three full steps back, my eyes wide as if seeing a ghost, because just now I... was going to kiss Phîi Pong.
Hey, impossible. No way. Me? Kiss Phîi Pong? I'm a man through and through. No matter how addicted I am to his divine hands, no matter how curious I am to try, I'm not interested in Phîi Pong! He just helped me rub. Why would I kiss Phîi Pong? What! What just happened?!
"Gah."
My mind is raging chaotically, but in reality, I can only emit a single sound, while my body trembles with the magnitude of the near-miss!
"I... I... I slipped!!!" I say. Only an idiot would believe that.
"Slipped and used my head as a handhold? That is so heartless. It hurts, you know," he says. Are you an idiot or what!
"You should answer your phone first, Nong," he says.
I am amazed that Phîi Pong believes my lie. But right now, anything that can distract me from the disgraceful event moments ago, I am ready to focus on it. So I pull out my phone, turn my back on the cause of me not being myself, and press answer without even looking at the name, hoping to escape for dear life.
"Ha... Hello!!!" I say.
[What the hell, Gok? Why are you shouting? I can hear you even if you speak softly.]
"Who is this?" I say.
[You don't have my number? Whatever. It's me, Graph.]
Forget your voice, Graph. Right now, if my Mâe called, I wouldn't recognize her voice. I can't even recognize my own voice... I'm shaking like hell!
"So... what do you want?" I say.
[Are you okay? Why does your voice sound shaky?]
"No, no! I'm perfectly normal and healthy. All limbs intact, eyes, nose, mouth haven't disappeared anywhere. I don't have a fever, I don't have a cold, I don't have AIDS, and I'm still as short as ever. You don't need to worry about me," I say. My friend asks something, but I answer with a long-winded reply that probably confuses him.
[You annoying fucker. I didn't want to know your medical history... So, are you home or not?]
"No. Why?" I say. Talk a lot, Graph. I still haven't figured a way out of almost kissing Phîi Pong. So just say it. Say it.
[I want to leave Ruthless at your place. I just took him to the vet and need to stop by to buy some things. You know my dog doesn't like crowds, right? What if he accidentally bites someone and I have to pay up again? And I'm too lazy to take him home first; it's out of the way. I'm near the school now. But if you're not home, then I can't help it... ]
"Hey, hey, hey! Bring him! You can leave Ruthless with me!" I say.
Before my friend can finish speaking, I cut in without asking for the shop owner's opinion. I just don't want to be alone with Phîi Pong right now. Weighing the risk of my friend finding out my secret against the bruised ribs from yanking Phîi Pong's head... I choose to play my helper card.
"Do you remember the cake shop near school you came to with Janjao? Yeah, that one. Come on, come on! I'll watch the dog for you," I say.
[That helps a lot. I'll be there in a moment.] Graph hangs up.
I take a deep breath and turn to look at Phîi Pong's face.
"Phîi Pong, Gok has to go. My friend is going to leave his dog with me," I say.
"Hmm. You can stay here, Nong Gok. I roughly understand that your friend has nowhere to leave the dog, right? Bring him to the shop. He can stay downstairs. I will bake some cookies for the dog too. How about that?" he says.
I was planning to flee home, meaning the moment Graph arrives, I jump in his car and have him drop me off at home first. You couldn't ask for a better plan. But... Phîi Pong shakes his head.
"Please. I want to play with Moo a little longer too," he says. And when Phîi Pong asks with a pleading tone like this... what can I do?
"Alright, I can stay longer," I say. I've caused Phîi Pong so much trouble. He's only asking for this. Would I be heartless not to give it to him?
I try to comfort myself that it is not an excuse, but I have to take care of Ruthless, who I can tell is truly Ruthless as his name. This time, I probably will not have time to stress about Phîi Pong... I guess.
"This guy thought the mechanic who came to fix the showroom glass at my house was a robber, so he tried to bite him. The mechanic got scared and threw a tool at him. It grazed him, got a cut on his front leg. Good thing I stopped him in time, otherwise either the person or the dog would probably be dead," he says.
Truthfully, before I could take three full gasps, Graph arrives. And that handsome guy is never ordinary. This time, he comes with a brand new, fresh-off-the-lot BMW parked prominently in front of the shop. Moreover, he is dressed perfectly handsome, leading the extremely Ruthless-faced dog down from the car. Believe me, any girl who sees him would fall for him.
Now Graph is explaining the reason why Ruthless's front leg is bandaged.
Let me describe him first. Ruthless is a German Shepherd. I heard his parents are champion bloodlines. He is large, his legs and body are strong enough that if he pounced on you, you would fall scattered. Not to mention his sharp, gleaming front teeth; if he grabbed your neck, you would die instantly. But however Ruthless he is, he is still Graph's beloved pet.
"Hng." A fiercely fierce dog, because it is baring its teeth at Phîi Pong, whom it has never met.
Whap.
Graph slaps the dog's head without any mercy.
"Ruthless, mind your manners. If you cause trouble again... I'll abandon you at a temple! Understand?" he says.
Just that makes the Ruthless-faced dog snort through its nose as if displeased, but it lies down on the shop floor, burying its face against its front leg to say... understood.
"Woof! Woof! Grr, Awooooo!" Meanwhile, the dim-wit Siberian dog runs around it cheerfully.
Is my dog too alert, or is Graph's dog too calm?
"I'll leave him for about an hour and a half. No more than two hours. Buying things to please the old man probably won't take long," my friend says considerately, then turns to look at Phîi Pong.
"You can leave him here. I am not opening the shop on Saturday; he can stay downstairs," he says. I already know Phîi Pong is a kind person. He smiles at my friend, and Graph smiles back.
"Thank you, Phîi... If anything happens, you can call me," my friend says. He seems to want to ask something, but in the end, he chooses to keep quiet. He's probably wondering how I got to know the shop owner. It is good that Graph is not the type to pry.
The handsome guy gets back into the car, leaving behind only a large dog lying still, eyes closed, not paying attention to the gray-furred Siberian jumping around, sniffing curiously. Meanwhile, I... am still.
The event from earlier is still clear, and I did not even manage to explain it away.
This is frustrating. I shouldn't have.
"Then I will get some water for these two first," Phîi Pong says. He probably knows better than to mess with Ruthless; if he carelessly reaches his hand out, he will likely get bitten by its fangs. But while walking to the back kitchen, he still makes conversation.
"Nong Gok, do you remember the day you came to return my shirt?" he says.
I'd be crazy if I didn't remember. That was the starting point of the wretchedness in my life.
I do not answer, pretending to be busy tying Ruthless's leash to a post in the shop, intending to separate Moo, who is whining eek-eek-ing, endlessly interested in the new dog. I am afraid it will bother the fierce dog and get bitten. Since they are both males, it is not worth it—the vet bills, the argument with my friend, but...
"You forgot your backpack, Nong Gok," he says.
Thud.
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!
No, no, not casino chips. This is real disaster. I let go of the leash with both hands and run pruet to the back kitchen, grabbing the hem of Phîi Pong's shirt firmly, making him, who was turning his back to fill a plastic bowl with water, startle.
"Where is it? Where is Gok's backpack?!" I say.
How can I not be utterly terrified? In that bag is Phîi Pong's shirt that I played with until it was crumpled and I did not dare return it!!!
I've been thinking for days what I forgot. So I forgot this important item here since last week?!
Phîi Pong quickly turns to hold my shoulders. "Did you open it? Did you open it?!" I ask, my voice trembling, and that makes him...
"Calm down, Nong Gok. Calm down. I have not opened it to look. As for the backpack, I kept it in the wardrobe. I was going to return it to you yesterday, but you left first," he says.
Gulp.
"Give it back to Gok now," I say. The moment I know its location, I grab Phîi Pong's hand tightly, using all my strength to drag the large man to walk up to the third floor of the shop. He willingly follows, trying to tell me to calm down. But how can I calm down? It is full of my semen stains. If someone took it for testing (?), my lust would be exposed to the public!!!
A thought I forgot for a moment—I... am in Phîi Pong's bedroom again.
The familiar room, still as clean and tidy as before. And because the wardrobe is on the loft where the bed is placed, I walk drunkenly up there, receiving the formidable backpack into my embrace with a panicked grab, taking three full steps back to check the contents.
It's still there!!!
Phîi Pong's large shirt is still lying quietly inside, in its original condition, until I almost let out a huge sigh of relief.
"Is there anything important inside?" he asks.
"No! Nothing at all, Phîi, nothing," I say, shaking my head vigorously, hiding the backpack behind my back, putting on a front smile that looks suspicious no matter what. But, true to his kind-adult style, he does not press further, just smiles back and moves to sit on the edge of the bed, which makes me... swallow another large gulp.
When people see one thing, it reminds them of another, right? This time is the same. Seeing Phîi Pong together with the bed... my heart thinks bad thoughts.
Puff puff... Moreover, he pats the mattress lightly, implying I should sit with him.
Don't. I don't trust myself.
I stand still as a refusal. Phîi Pong makes conversation, while smiling dryly, lightly scratching the base of his neck.
"Earlier, when you pulled me up here, I confess I had improper thoughts," he says.
"Huh?!" I say.
What? What improper thoughts? Don't tell me he got turned on by me?
Why does this thought make me flutter? The atmosphere in the room seems a bit more heated. My head inadvertently imagines the strength hidden within... Ouch, stop thinking, Gok!
"Phîi... thought what?" I say. I'm not usually nosy, but this time I really want to know. Phîi Pong scratches his neck again, looking embarrassed.
"Well, I thought you were asking me for help," he says.
Help with what, damn it!? I still cannot keep up.
"Today, when you came, I accidentally thought maybe you came to collect on the promise. But when Moo was with you, I felt a little ashamed for having improper thoughts," he says.
What? I'm so confused. I don't understand. I can't keep up.
I must be making a very confused face. Phîi Pong looks up to meet my eyes, hesitates a little, but decides to speak.
"I thought you were asking me to help... release you again," he says.
Thud.
"Good Lord!!!" I say. I know it's impolite, but it slipped out from shock. Phîi Pong does not scold me; he just laughs sheepishly, scratches his neck a bit more, and stands up.
"I am sorry for having improper thoughts. You just passed by the area and stopped to visit, right?" he says.
Rip.
Let me die. Phîi Pong's goodness is stabbing right through my demonic heart.
"Then let's go downstairs. I do not know how those two are doing," he says.
Phîi Pong finishes speaking and walks past me, acting like he will go down to the shop downstairs. It is the most correct thing to do. But...
Gulp.
I hate myself. I reach out and grab the back of Phîi Pong's shirt, making him turn to look.
"If... if Gok said he came to collect on the promise, then would Phîi Pong do it for Gok?!" I say.
I bloody fucking hate myself.
Sometimes I wonder why my heart and my mouth are so misaligned. My heart thinks correctly, following all proper norms, but my mouth chooses to reveal the dark side without holding back. Both hands grip the back of Phîi Pong's shirt even tighter. I lift my hot face to look up and mumble.
"Phîi, help... Gok," I say. Help rub me.
You understand teenagers, right? I'm only eighteen. An age where a little bit gets the blood pumping. I just accidentally thought back to the last time Phîi Pong helped me in the bathroom. This time, both the images and the sounds come back, causing the soft thing to start hardening, the deflated thing to start swelling, the reserved thing to start arriving!
Exercising my right, I lower one hand to cover my crotch. Honestly, I am extremely embarrassed, but it is not wrong, is it? Phîi Pong said himself that if I wanted it, he could help. I am starting to want it. Especially since my nose catches a faint vanilla scent, like the signature scent of this room, brushing my nose. It feels hot and restless in my chest, and it spreads, burning down to my lower part. Especially when Phîi Pong turns to hold my hand, the warmth transfers until my face is intensely hot.
"Then take off your pants," he says.
Fwip.
Not wrong, not wrong, not wrong, damn it! It's just Phîi Pong using his hands to help!!!!
I argue with myself even though no one has said anything, as I undo my pants button and let them fall to the floor, revealing... the well-fitting underwear with a little worm wriggling inside.
"Your face is brilliantly red. I told you, you do not need to be embarrassed. I promised to help, right?" he says.
I do not know what face I am making, but it must be quite red, because Phîi Pong reaches to hold my cheek as he pushes me to step back. And after retreating just a few steps...
Thump.
My leg hits the bed, until Phîi Pong pushes me to sit down slowly, while he himself sits on the floor.
"Ph- Phîi Pong," I say.
My voice is shaking like hell!
I slide my hands to grip the cake shop owner's shoulders; I feel they are getting damp. Because Phîi Pong is moving closer to my chest, sending waves of excitement that make my heart pound everywhere. I can only look at the handsome face still adorned with a gentle smile, while he comforts me.
"If you want me to do anything special for you, you can tell me," he says. Phîi Pong's voice is low... so low it hits every auditory nerve in my body.
I cannot speak anymore, as Phîi Pong moves closer to my chest, and...
Nip.
"Nng," I bite my lip immediately when he nips at my nipple, while his other hand goes to rub and circle my side, rubbing up and down, making me shiver prik, and is now coming to flick lightly at the tip of the raisin. Just a light circle, and I...
"Ah," I moan, unable to resist.
Gasp!
"It has gotten hard," he says.
Just rubbing and nipping is thrilling enough. Now Phîi Pong blows warm air onto it; how can the nipple not harden!?
Now I am starting to breathe heavily. Both hands move to grip the bed sheets instead, to give the adult full access to help. While the mood is rising, downstairs is starting to ache with desire. And I would definitely continue playing thrillingly with the divine hands, if not for this sound...
"Pong. Who is this youth?"
Gasp!!!
I turn my head sharply, barely in time, and see a man on the stairs staring intently at me. The question 'what are you doing' is not surprising; anyone who sees it would be shocked at what two men are doing. But more than that... how did this man get in?
The man who entered Phîi Pong's bedroom with an expression as if he owns the place!
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