Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
~~~
Perspective Gok
Honestly, I do not know how to report my current situation. Therefore, I will rewind things a bit.
I have one big secret that I cannot tell anyone: I am a genuine sweet tooth. Cakes, cookies, tarts, and chocolate are all top favorites in my heart. I cannot tell my friends because I fear they will tease me severely. Since I am both short, small-built, and baby-faced, I do not want anyone to see me as having another feminine trait.
I have kept this hidden from everyone for years, because whenever I want to eat, I just go find some far away from the school. But it seems the secret wanted to burst out completely when, suddenly, a delicious cake shop opened in front of the school. Furthermore, its reputation spread far and wide among the female students. On the occasions I considered walking in alone, I felt indescribably ashamed. So, apart from scouting the place many times, I still have not gotten to taste a single bite.
Until today, when my craving reached a level close to a drug addict's need, I became determined and intent on buying some to take home. Then, luckily, a handsome older guy invited me to go in with him.
I thought he was also shy about entering a cake shop alone. So, I gritted my teeth and thought, 'Fine, I have a companion, why let the opportunity go to waste?' But the moment we stood in front of the counter... my comrade-in-arms put on an apron!
Yes, that concludes the flashback. He is the shop owner, not a customer like me.
Now what, the same guy who gave me a warm, amused smile, still stands waiting patiently for me to order.
I am definitely stunned, but my eyes glance over at the cake display case I finally have a chance to see up close.
It looks so damned delicious!
I understand now that hearing about it is not the same as seeing it with your own eyes!
The brightly colored fruit tarts with strawberries, grapes, kiwi, and oranges arranged in perfect contrast, placed on juicy fresh cream spread with a glazing syrup that makes the pastries sparkle under the lights.
The pale yellow cheesecake, darker on top from baking, shows a hint of burnt caramel coating the outside, while the inside texture peeking out looks soft and melt-in-your-mouth tender.
The off-white vanilla crepe cakes stacked in intricate layers, interlaced with white cream that surely is sweet and soft, accompanied by a raspberry pot that must provide a sweet-and-sour taste contrasting with the soft crepe dough.
And... today's objective.
The dark, rich-tasting double chocolate cake!
The outside of the cake is darker, coated with chocolate ganache. The inside, visible from the cross-section, is sponge cake in four gradient layers, interlaced with light brown cake cream, while the top is decorated with a small chocolate plaque with the shop's name written in swirling gold letters. Plus, there are chocolate shavings arranged in spirals that look no less than a work of art.
It looks more like two hundred baht at a department store than just 45 baht as shown on the price tag.
No, that is not all. There are so many other things in the case that I... want to try every damned one of them.
My craving makes me swallow hard.
"Ahem, then I'll have... "
"Phîi Gok, are you ready to order?" a voice asks from behind me.
Snap
I completely forgot that there is a junior in the shop!!
I, like this, turn to look at the same young woman who is giving a faint smile, and then I remember how I know her. Her friend in her group is dating a friend in my group. If she finds out I like sweets, she will definitely go and tell others. So, I shake my head, put on a wide smile, while inside I feel utterly withered.
"No... I, the Phîi, will have one milkshake." Then I turn to look at that older guy's face with an utterly despondent expression.
If that sad puppy dog face guy likes to make a kickable face, mine is double the sad puppy dog face.
"Wow. You came all the way here to buy this?" I know she is just making conversation, but I, like this, break out in a cold sweat, and then sweat more. Her words just emphasize my suspiciousness.
"The drink shop right by the gate is open today, isn't it?"
"Oh, I ate meatballs and got thirsty," I just answer that, feeling a hot sensation on my cheeks. I feel like someone is staring. When I turn back, I find the Phîi behind the counter still looking at me steadily, while the person who turned to blend the drink is another Phîi, making me feel hot and cold for some reason.
Am I just being paranoid that his gaze seems... peculiar?
However, I dismiss this thought from my mind, quickly pay the money, and move to avoid a chair, letting that talkative junior order her pastry. I pull out my phone to play, to suppress my nervousness.
I know, really, that no one is looking at me with strange eyes, but I cannot help thinking, damn it.
Why do most men in this world not like sweets? Why do I have to be a minority among them?
I try to focus my attention on the game, but my unlucky eyes keep glancing at the cake display case over and over. I swallow again and again. My brain tries to find excuses for myself and concludes that I will buy some to take home; if anyone asks, I will blame my Mâe.
That point, of course, I cannot eat here because I do not want anyone to know, number one. And another...
"The milkshake you ordered, and this... "
Scrape
I, like this, turn around instantly when I hear the sound of a ceramic plate. In front of me... is a chocolate cake!
"Hey, Phîi, I didn't order this."
I quickly protest, even though the cake on the plate is not arranged as beautifully as in the case, but is a perfect bite-sized square piece, more like a trial product. And the Phîi gives me a smile, plus his voice is... extremely gentle.
"No, Nong. This one isn't for sale, but may I ask you to help me taste it?"
"Hmph!"
I exclaim, of course. I look at the Phîi's face, confused, for him to explain.
"As you can see, Nong, my shop has only women. It's rare to have a guy come in, and most come as their girlfriend's escort. I want to make pastries that also suit a guy's palate, but I myself am so used to eating sweets, I don't know what kind most young men like to eat. So, I'd like to get your opinion, Nong."
"Help Phîi Pong out, Nong. This guy hunts for victims to test his pastries every day. Look at his physique."
I still do not know how to respond when the Phîi at the counter leans over and says in an amused voice, making this Phîi Pong guy frown.
"I don't think you've gotten fat at all, Pam."
"I've gained three kilograms since working here, shop owner."
"So how much do you weigh now?"
"How rude! Who asks a woman her weight? Pam isn't talking to Phîi Pong anymore!"
"Hahaha, she's sulking now."
I think this Phîi Pam is quite cute, not fat like she complains. She's fair-skinned, a little plump, with a friendly face that looks more like she's fake-sulking than really sulking. And she fake-flicks her bob and walks off to clear a table where customers have just left, making me turn back to look at this Phîi Pong guy again.
Gasp!
Why is he looking at me with eyes brimming with hope, damn it!
"Please help me out, Nong."
"Just a taste, right, Phîi?"
Honestly, I absolutely cannot stop my hand from reaching for the small silver fork the moment I say that with a slightly hesitant tone, making him smile widely.
"Certainly, just a taste. I promise I definitely won't charge you."
I think I'm definitely defeated by his smile, damn it. What kind of person smiles so widely with both mouth and eyes? When he says 'certainly,' it's a bit playful, his eyes sparkling a little. No wonder so many girls talk about him. Even I felt a slight sway just now, like my heart itched with a bit of envy.
People! If I were handsome like this, tall like this, smiled and looked this handsome, oh, I'd find maybe ten romantic partners!
But right now, I should focus more on the cake in front of me.
Good Lord, it's so damned perfect!
The chocolate part is dense, but the sponge cake texture is soft. The feeling when I cut into it with a fork is so right that I, who am excited almost to the point of madness, try to keep a straight face. Squeal! My eyes are fixed only on the sweet about to touch the tip of my tongue. Saliva surges in my mouth.
Chomp
Shit-lizard, yes! Shit-lizard, yes!! Shit-lizard, yes!!!
I truly cannot stop myself in time as the corner of my mouth lifts higher and higher. I tilt my cheek involuntarily as the bittersweet flavor touches my tongue while the chocolate melts in my mouth. I can definitely say it is not cloyingly sweet; on the contrary, it is extremely soft and delicate, to the point I almost do not want it to slide down my throat.
It's so damned delicious!
I, like this, almost cannot wait to stab the remaining cake into my mouth. I feel more euphoric than when I masturbate... Gasp!
Fuck! My thing is about to get hard!
Shit-lizard, yes, how could I forget that there is another secret that makes me not often eat pastries outside? Because... if I find a truly delicious one, I will get aroused!
Normally, I already like eating cake, and I feel frustrated with myself that when it's delicious, my face becomes euphoric. I cannot stop my mouth from smiling, I cannot stop my cheek from tilting, but that can still be roughly explained away by saying it's just because it's delicious, so smiling isn't strange. But if I eat a sweet that is so damned right, that suits my taste extremely, I... will reach the point of getting aroused.
And now my hose is hard!!!
In my life, I have felt this way only twice. The first time was in late elementary school, and this is the second time.
I do not remember which shop's pastry I ate, but back then, as soon as I put it in my mouth and chewed chomp chomp, I, like this, felt a hot, sizzling sensation all over my body. I felt like I was going to explode. That was the first experience where I ejaculated. Luckily, my Phîi covered for me and kept it a secret for me. Since then, I have been extremely careful. No matter how much I like to eat pastries, I will buy them to take home, eat them at home, in case I get aroused, so I won't be ashamed in front of anyone. But now it has happened.
It has happened again... a deliciousness better than masturbating!
Pat
Gasp!
"Sorry, I saw you eating and smiling, so I did it without thinking." I am not angry that he put his hand on my head even though it is our first meeting, no, but I am startled because that big, warm hand makes me feel even more tingling, a strange heat in my lower region. And instead of saying thank you or commenting on the cake, what do I do now...
Grab
I grab my bag and dash away, of course!
"Hey, Nong!!!"
I do not care that he might be calling out because I forgot the milkshake, because I, like this, have a burning hot face, and my legs are shaking a little, but I try to force myself, pushing my body to rush back into the school, then head straight for the men's bathroom, enter a stall, lock the door. I do not care how damned smelly it is, because at this point, I can only do one thing... pull out my little guy and jerk off, of course!
"Damn it, bloody fucking, I'm about to leak already!"
I tell myself frantically as I grab the hardening shaft and hold it firmly, leaning my back against the door, taking a deep breath. Because just holding my little guy, I, like this, feel both tingling and extremely horny, to the maximum, until my brain does not need to give orders; my hand is already stroking whoosh whoosh.
"More!"
As I push my tongue around in my mouth, sensing the chocolate taste lodged between my teeth, my voice almost escapes. It feels so damned tingling that I have to grab the hem of my school shirt to bite, making muffled sounds in my throat, not caring about any damned thing. Besides closing my eyes tightly, my hand strokes whoosh whoosh, wanting to get the fluid out fully.
I will not describe too much how I jerk off; it is just the usual way. Except I have to push my tongue all around my mouth to feel the taste still stuck between my teeth, to perceive the sweetness mixed with bitterness that sends thrills throughout my entire body, until I have to lean my back against the bathroom door, panting heavily, taking deep breaths.
The sweetness spreading on the tip of my tongue, the bitterness stuck on the corner of my mouth, making me lick it lightly, which only arouses my excitement further, making it surge. And when I think of the softness of the cake melting in my mouth... I also melt and come out as fluid.
"I... want... to die!"
I can only look down at the cloudy fluid spurting out, dirtying the toilet bowl, and then I can only bang the back of my head against the bathroom door, my voice mixed with panting. I feel like I want to dig into the ground and hide, because I know, however ashamed I am, to that extent... I came because of a piece of cake!
This is not even some X-shaped woman like in an AV. Plus, I do not even want to say that it felt more thrilling than watching a porno by who knows how many times.
"I have no face to show up at that shop again!"
I lament to myself, wishing I could just vanish on the spot. Because it took me who knows how many years to find a cake shop this delicious, but I had to act shamefully by running out of the shop. Who knows, someone might have even caught on that my damned thing got hard.
Dammit! Is my secret out or not?!
I am truly afraid of being found out. I know myself that my secret is very depraved. Other people would probably avoid eating sweets for the rest of their lives, but I am not like that. I am addicted to sweetness. If I do not eat, I will go into withdrawal and die. But if I eat, I risk getting aroused in public.
"But it's so damned delicious. I want to eat it again."
Let me die, I truly cannot bring myself to cut ties with that shop, damn it!
The more I gently push my tongue against my teeth and still taste the chocolate, plus my mouth still has the strong, sweet aroma lingering, the more I want to taste it again, want to eat the whole piece. And if I come from eating cake, I do not care. I want to eat a whole pound of it, hide in my bedroom, and release it to my heart's content.
"You're a psycho, damn it, Gok!"
I truly want to die.
"Hey, is anyone in the bathroom?"
Fuck, the janitor uncle is here.
"Uncle, uncle, don't close it yet! I'm done pooping, just a moment!" I quickly put my weapon of mass destruction back into my pants. I have no time to clean the stain; I will just think that it will dry later, that uncle will clean it anyway. So, I come out before uncle locks the door from the outside and traps me. I step out quickly, wash my hands thoroughly, and give a smile to the janitor uncle whom I see patrolling every evening.
Damn it, every time he shoos me home annoyedly, but this time, uncle is staring at me strangely.
Not only that, uncle even shakes his head, wow.
"Kids these days really have no shame. They can do it anywhere. Sigh."
I am so screwed, of course. I do not know if uncle knows or not, but I choose to look up at the mirror. So, I become perfectly clear why uncle knew... my face gives everything away.
Euphoric face, dazed eyes, red cheeks!
No, this is not some product slogan; it is my face, one hundred percent.
I do not know what else uncle mutters, because at that point... I run again. This time, I run to hide behind the building, compose myself until my face returns to normal, before trying to walk confidently out of the school... very confident, of course. I hail a taxi immediately, then jump in without a thought for my life, my body shaking, folded up.
How could it not shake? Is my secret out or not?!
So perverted! I can only hope I do not meet a taxi driver with a body wanting to devour young men, because my face right now is at that level.
This is it, my national-level secret that I cannot fix no matter how I try. Sigh.
***
"Did you watch the video I sent you last night or not, damn it?"
"Yeah, you shit-lizard, I was just about to ask you about this. Are you a psycho or what, damn it? What the hell did you send me to watch? Bloody fucking hell, it's all just fresh cream!"
"Huh? You like it, don't you? The type where they smear cream on the body and then suck it off."
"Shit-lizard! I like the kind where they smear it on a woman and suck her breasts, damn it! Not sucking a c... "
Don't turn to ask me. Don't turn to ask me.
"Wow, damn it, the licking technique of that AV actress is so brilliant. You just don't get it, man."
"You shit-lizard, how could I get it? Damn it, you only see the tongue and mouth. I can't see the actress's face. If her face isn't brilliant, I don't get turned on, man! Who could be crazy enough to get turned on? If the one licking is a guy, I'd puke my guts out and die."
Don't you turn to ask me. Don't you turn to ask me, you shit-lizard Ton!
"And what about you, Gok?"
Shit-lizard! I told you not to turn to ask me!
I am sitting playing a game at my usual spot, making a face like I do not care about any damned thing, even though I, like this, startle again and again ever since my two close friends started discussing the porno that Ton sent last night. In my heart, I pray to all sacred entities, 'Please don't turn to ask me,' but I must be too perverted. God does not pity me, so it finally comes around to me.
"You're not into it either, right, Gok? Whoever likes that is a psycho," and then, "bloody fucking degenerate," putting a cake on that damned thing? Only the tip is showing? I was horrified. What the hell are they playing at? I think the people who make these films must be disturbed, damn it. And they just film sucking, slurp slurp. What kind of crazy person would get aroused by that? I think only those evil-people like them enjoy watching this damned stuff."
Will you just stab me with a knife instead, you damned Pae?
If a person could die from startling, I would have died and been guarding the hell gate many times over by now, because last night I came... four times.
Four times, not including the time I masturbated at school.
Please, no, I hope no one dares to call me disturbed, because just my friend saying it hurts like damned hell.
"I also think... it's just so-so."
So-so, what the hell, Gok? The moment you see fresh cream on that thing, on this thing, your thing gets hard!!!
Perverted juvenile-hellspawn to the max! Last night I banged my head against the pillow many times, because I feel that I myself am...
I curse myself not because I got aroused from that clip, no. There must be someone who feels the same as me, right? Otherwise, the Japanese producer who made that film would not have made it. Guys like me, with a straight pipeline, must have desires from these images, right? But the reason I think I am more depraved than normal people is that I do not get aroused from watching someone suck a greasy gearbox covered in car wash foam, but I... want to lick it.
You shit-lizard! I want to die!!!
Yes, I get aroused because I want to taste the fresh cream smeared on the gearbox!
Others might imagine a big-breasted Phîi coming to lick it for them, but I am not like that! I, right here, want to eat that ice cream bar coated with meringue so damned badly. I just keep swallowing saliva, ahem. The more I watch the bright-colored tongue licking, the more I want to transform and go lick it instead, because it must be delicious, damn it. The slurp slurp sucking sound is like eating a hundred-baht ice cream bar.
Therefore, I, right here, am the ultimate drama-queen.
The ultimate drama-queen who cannot say that watching it was extremely erotic! If I said it, they would think I am gay, and my life would be utterly ruined.
Did I already tell you what kind of person my friend Pae is?
If Ton is an easygoing person, then Pae, damn it, has a crazy dog's mouth. He snaps at everyone.
My friend Pae is a guy much bigger than me, more than twice my size. He is the big-but-body type, his brain not very developed. He never thinks before he speaks, only thinks about winning every argument. He even once blabbered and said something bad about Graph's romantic partner, almost leading to a fight. If he found out what I think, he would definitely look at me with extreme disgust and call me a fag without a second thought.
"I'm indifferent, but you, Pae, can you stop criticizing? People's damned likes aren't the same. You don't like it, but that doesn't mean others won't like it differently from you, right?"
"I say, from what I saw, it's disturbed."
"Last time, with the clip where they put salmon roe on breasts, you were so turned on, weren't you? If it's a little mysterious, you shouldn't talk so much. Later, others will say you're disturbed too."
"Yeah, yeah, end of story. I'm not arguing with you anymore, Gok."
Luckily, Pae still believes what I say. He somewhat believes anything I say, but he does not know that every word he says stings me extremely painfully. If he ever found out my secret, I am truly afraid of his heart and his mouth. So, when he agrees to end it, I, like this, almost sigh with relief.
"So, am I the only one who likes it? I sent it thinking you guys would like it."
Ton, if I were as straightforward as you, I would confess completely that I like it so damned much! I was so turned on! I came four times!
I can only glance at Ton, who just shrugs and turns to focus on something else, my heart thumping, relieved that none of my friends caught on to my suspicious behavior, until I completely forget about something important, right up until school ends and I prepare to go home to find my dog.
"Nong, Nong!"
Damn it! The shop owner Phîi!
My eyes widen like goose eggs instantly. The moment I step out of the school, not even ten steps, the calling voice makes me turn to look, until I see a tall, dark-skinned man wearing a blue cap. No one needs to shout in my ear for me to recognize him as the Phîi from the cake shop yesterday.
Or did he catch on that I'm disturbed, damn it!
My brain thinks the worst first. The closer he gets, the more I see that his handsome face looks so damned serious that I, like this, break out in a cold sweat.
He must have caught on that yesterday I was holding my balls and running out of the shop!
I am so flustered, immediately looking left and right for an escape route for myself. I do not want my dark secret exposed. What if he blackmails me, saying I'm a psycho who gets aroused in a cake shop? What if he thinks I'm despicable, that I looked at the women in the shop and got aroused? What if he announces that I'm the type who likes to show off, to the point I got hard in the middle of the cake shop? What if he...
Snap
"Hey, Nong, why are you running away from me!"
I am not thinking ahead anymore. I choose to play the 'dash away immediately' card as my final answer!
I run, of course; will I stay for my Phô to come find me or what? So, I turn around and choose the stupid path. Instead of running back into the school where he could not follow, I, damn it, run along the familiar path... the alley next to the school.
"Nong, stop running!"
Then why the hell are you following me, you damned root!
I glance back and see that, besides him shouting after me, he, damn it, is also running after me. And I'm sorry, Phîi, you are over 180 cm. I am just over 160 cm. Can I outrun you? This task requires only alley agility. I will think of it as being chased by the discipline teacher.
"Nong, stop running first."
Then you stop following, damn it!
I glance back again, gauging the distance, knowing full well that in a moment there will be an intersection. So, I must use my small size to dodge and weave, running into an extremely narrow alley without slowing down. And he definitely will not expect it; a big body like his, to enter the alley, would have to reduce speed by more than half. So, just a little more, and I will definitely survive!
"Hey, Nong! Watch out!!!" Watch out for wh...
Crash!!!
"Ahhhhhhhhh!!!"
I was feeling smug in my heart, thinking I would definitely survive, until I glanced back to look at the person chasing me one more time. At the moment he shouted loudly, it was already too late. As I turned back, wondering if some shit-lizard creature ran in front, I... crashed crash into a trash can and fell tumbling to the ground.
And I am sorry, my misfortune is not over yet.
My shoelaces got tangled!
"Come loose, damn it, come loose!"
Crash!!!
"Ahhhhhhh!"
Splat!
I want to explain what happens first. My shoelaces are tangled, right? So, I shake my leg with full force, intending to shake them loose and then stand up to continue running. But I end up shaking my leg without looking where I am going because I kick another trash can, which I had just missed hitting directly before. It hurts so much that I cry out loudly. Meanwhile, that trash can loses its balance and falls over. But I am sorry, it does not fall over in the direction I kicked it. It falls leaning toward me until... the trash goes into my mouth.
I am completely still!!! Shit-lizard, it is not normal trash. A bra that smells like a dead dog falls into my mouth.
"Bleh, bleh, bleh! Gag! It smells awful! My tongue! Bleh!!!" I pull it out almost not in time and quickly lift my uniform sleeve to wipe my mouth. I also use my tongue to lick down onto my school shirt hard, hoping it will help make it cleaner. To be honest, I feel that my life is utterly damned, especially when...
"Nong, are you okay!"
The person I am running from, nearly to death, is moving closer to help brush the trash fragments off of me. I can only lift my head to look at him.
"Why are you crying! Where does it hurt?"
I do not realize that my eyes are brimming with tears. Whether it is from the pain of both falling and colliding, or the shame and humiliation of not being able to run away from him, and also making the trash can fall into complete disarray, I know only one thing...
"Because of you, that's why!"
I will blame him!
Everything that happens is because of this Cake-shop Phîi alone!
The person who looks a little peculiar does not even try to argue. On the contrary.
Whoosh
"It is my fault. Please do not cry, good youth."
The older Phîi gives me a smile and moves his hand to gently wipe the traces on my face. I also do not know.
It is as if what damned Satan spirit possesses me. I reach out to pull his shirt and use it to wipe my face hard, in order to escape from the hand that is holding my cheek.
"There!"
"Everything is your fault. I fall because of you. I am hurt because of you. Because of you."
I blame him first, because I already know what spirit possesses me.
The shy spirit, of course.
Shit-lizard, I am shy to death. We have met twice; who ordered or taught you to use your hand to wipe my face, huh? And this damned goose spirit, are you crazy? You make me feel shy toward a man as big as a building!!!
"Yes, it is my own fault. Please do not cry."
This is almost crazy! Now, I apologize to the spirit for making me feel shy because of the kind tone of voice of this Cake-shop Phîi person.
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