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~~~
"Ugh, it hurts, it stings too~"
"I'm sorry, Khrap."
"Waaah, ngeng ngeng~"
At this moment, Plêrng was lying face down on the soft bed, his face buried in a large pillow, his body covered only by a large nightshirt, his lower half exposed. But this wasn't with the aim of arousing anyone, because the spanking had been so severe. Both round buttocks were red and bruised; it wouldn't be surprising if there were welts. That's why he was whining like this.
That was in Phîi Sǐndhu's perspective as he looked over. As for Plêrng himself... he was whining to evade blame. If you asked Plêrng if it hurt, it was kinda numb, Lâe. But if you asked if it felt good...
Good grief, it felt fucking amazing, Khrap!
Phîi Sǐndhu when he was fucking ruthless was still thrilling as ever. It might even be better than the first time he was pinned down. It was so fierce, so savage, so power-mad, that someone like Práo Plêrng, who didn't often submit to anyone, could only tremble dazedly and do whatever the other said unconditionally, and with utter willingness at that.
He still wouldn't say out loud that this wasn't a punishment; it was a reward. Because what he had done was... truly wrong, Lâe.
Plêrng admitted he had almost had something with Phîi Andrew. But he didn't.
He had climbed on top of the other, grabbed and pulled off the shirt he was wearing, buried his face in the crook of his neck, got intimately close, prepared to rub that part against him. But after doing that for less than a minute, Plêrng was the one who lifted his head, pushed Phîi Andrew's chest—like when he pushed him to lie down—and said...
Plêrng can't do it.
Why?
Because I don't want Phîi Sǐndhu to be hurt.
The person who kept saying he didn't love him said this to Phîi Andrew. He willingly became the dim-wit who threw away imported goods, even though he knew well that such an opportunity wouldn't come a second time. But in that moment, he really saw Phîi Sǐndhu's face appear. And maybe it was true, as Âi'Phán said, he didn't want to see someone important to him in pain.
He didn't know if it was love or not, but he didn't want Phîi Sǐndhu to look disappointed in him.
Therefore, Plêrng rejected the best offer he'd had in three years. Phîi Andrew looked visibly stunned, then laughed and said thank you.
He was confused, what was he thanking him for, something crazy?
That's when he realized he had almost jumped into a devil's trap.
Phîi Andrew had come to test whether he would not make Phîi Sǐndhu hurt. If he had actually done it, Phîi Andrew would have been the one to throw him to the ground and forbid him from getting near Phîi Sǐndhu again. So Plêrng could say that this round, doing good yielded results. Because besides not being called a slut, his friend's Phîi looked at him with vastly improved regard.
But that sentence... "Take care of Sǐndhu for me (Kuu) will you?"
Don't go asking people to take care of him. We'll break up soon anyway...
Sigh, can we not break up?
This time, the person who kept saying he would break up swallowed his own saliva loudly. He really didn't want to break up, contrary to what his friends kept drilling into his ears. So he could only tell himself to just keep dating like this, Lâe. Stop thinking about dumping him and cluttering his mind. Because in the past nearly two months, he hadn't been trembling with desire to be penetrated by anyone else anymore.
[[Translator's Note: The phrase เป็นเจ้าเข้า (pen jâo kâo) is a graphic sexual slang term in Thai. It literally means "to enter as the master/owner" (เป็นเจ้า \= to be the master/owner/lord + เข้า \= to enter) and is used vulgarly to refer to acting as the dominant (typically male) penetrative partner in a sexual act, i.e., “to top” or “to fuck (someone) as the one in control.” It is highly explicit, crude, and derogatory, and its use is restricted to very rough, confrontational, or intentionally shocking contexts.]]
Since dating Phîi Sǐndhu, he had become a much better youth.
Phîi Sǐndhu might not be heart-stoppingly handsome at first glance, but he made him able to shake off Phîi Andrew, you know. He was kind, warm, attentive, did everything, and was also very spicy. You could say whether in bed or out of bed, he was the best in all three realms. He was both the dream man, the dream log, the dream beast.
The ultimate dream incarnate in one person.
Therefore, as long as he was still satisfied, he asked to just keep dating like this.
So now, Plêrng had to whine and demand sympathy, even though he felt fucking amazing, Lâ. Because in reality, he had almost gotten Phîi Andrew as a Phûa too. So the little-one tried his utmost to act cute, covering up the guilt stabbing repeatedly in his chest.
"I'm sorry, Khrap. I was too jealous."
You can be jealous again, Phîi. Plêrng likes it.
"Mm, I know you're jealous, but it stings, Ná."
Since he was whining, Phîi Sǐndhu didn't talk about Phîi Andrew either. Plêrng acted like a three-year-old, letting the other apply medicine to his buttocks very gently. His sharp face looked so stern that he really wanted to say it didn't hurt as much as the redness showed, Phîi. I (Kuu) was just being deceptive.
"Are you angry with me?"
"Waaah, not angry. Plêrng was really wrong." The little-one tilted his cheek to look back at his face and found Phîi Sǐndhu looking at him without stopping, hesitating as if wondering whether to speak or not, but it came out anyway.
"Does Nông Plêrng want Âi'Drew, Khrap?"
I (Kuu) shouldn't have brought this up.
The adorable person blinked rapidly, looking pitiful while thinking of an answer in his heart. And he concluded that... he should just tell the truth. He was such a rhino he had nothing left to lose.
"Mm, I've wanted him for a long time. Don't make that face, Phîi Sǐndhu. It's not that I wanted him as a Phûa, or wanted him as a romantic partner or anything like that. I just wanted to try, Lâ. Just about the stuff on the bed. I really didn't think-deeply beyond him being my friend's Phîi." When he saw Phîi Sǐndhu's face fall and his fists clench tightly, he hurriedly added, not wanting the other to hurt for long.
"But that was before I met Phîi Sǐndhu too."
Believe me, a hundred out of a hundred people hearing this would surely be saved.
But Práo Plêrng was telling the truth. He had wanted Phîi Andrew until he met Phîi Sǐndhu. He had run after him, flirting for so long. Moreover, he had just proven hours ago that he didn't want Phîi Andrew anymore, even when he was on top of him, but stopped midway. Doesn't that indicate he wanted Phîi Sǐndhu more?
Therefore, the fault of almost cheating was dismissed because he hadn't actually done it!
"And now?"
Pat
Plêrng didn't answer the question with words alone. His white hand went to intertwine with the other's fingers, slipping in slowly, feeling the warmth of the large-built man, then gripping it tightly.
"I have Phîi Sǐndhu now, Ná." Plêrng said.
He didn't know if it was because he was hooked on Phîi Sǐndhu's mean side, but the little-one could definitely say he didn't think about sex with any other man anymore. Now, day after day, he just thought about whether Phîi Sǐndhu would come see him, or if he should go play around in Phîi Sǐndhu's room. It was a strange feeling Plêrng had never experienced before.
So this is what having a romantic partner is like.
The answer elicited a smile on the large-built man's face.
"But no matter what, I still have to talk to Âi'Andrew. He shouldn't have done this."
"Your friend is just worried about you, that's all. It's understandable. He was afraid you'd be tricked. And Plêrng is... not a good youth either." Plêrng admitted outright that he was downright evil, which made Phîi Sǐndhu move to lie down beside him, still holding his hand tightly. Then he shook his head.
"I don't know how others see Nông Plêrng, but Nông Plêrng is a good youth in my eyes."
This is the first time I've been praised as good. Ouch, my (Kuu) heart!
Plêrng buried his face in the pillow again, unable to meet the large-built man's gaze because it was too warm.
"And I have a question."
Even though he didn't want to face the eyes that, even with lenses blocking them, couldn't hide the loving gaze, the serious tone made the listener turn to look at his face. He nodded slowly, sensing this was an important question.
Phîi Sǐndhu himself took a deep breath and blurted out.
"Can Nông Plêrng have only me?"
"Huh? But I don't have anyone else."
Práo Plêrng replied without thinking, his face looking confused. This made the person who had been hesitant to ask break into a wide smile, both mouth and eyes, and move in to hug him tightly, until Plêrng had to quickly push his body away, looking at him with his eyes as if asking what he had answered wrong, since... he really didn't have anyone.
Âi'Plêrng might have had many encounters, but that Plêrng had never had a romantic partner, and those were just passers-by who came and went. He never had any relationships with them. So he really had no one.
"Including forbidding you from messing around with others."
Ah, this one was a bit harder to answer, but also....
The little-one looked down at his own condition, then looked back to meet his eyes as if to say, "You've done this to me (Kuu), and you still think I (Kuu) have the capacity to go get with others?" But seeing Phîi Sǐndhu still looking at him, awaiting an answer, Plêrng moved wrigglingly to lie on top of the other's chest, careful not to let his butt rub against anything. Then he reached out to hold his cheeks.
"I might not be a good person. I might be a fucking rhino. But I can tell Phîi Sǐndhu to be confident about one thing..."
Plêrng was truly surprised at himself that someone like him was saying this.
"If I'm still Phîi Sǐndhu's romantic partner, I will have only you."
He wouldn't promise that they would be together forever, because the initial purpose was to want the person he was lying on top of. But he could give the assurance that, as long as he held the position of that Plêrng's romantic partner, he would use only this one log. When he thought it was enough, thought it was over, he would clearly say break up before going back to being a rhino as before. This was what he could give Phîi Sǐndhu.
But that was enough for the listener.
Snap
"I will try to do everything so that Nông Plêrng doesn't say break up to me."
I don't know, but Plêrng had no problem at all with the word 'romantic partner' from this person. It was different from when Phîi Andrew asked to date him. He let his body drop down to lie on his chest.
Looks like that Plêrng will have a romantic partner for a long time now.
***
"You've fallen in love with him already, Âi'Plêrng."
"Just like, Hòe. Not love."
"Âi'Plêrng, you've even said you'll have no one else but him. Some Phûa-Mia couples can't even do that, you know."
Today, Phént, who didn't often come to his room, stopped by with marinated steak and a large box. Then he got to work, opening the kitchen, turning on the seldom-used stove, and grilling the pork until the fragrant smell filled the entire room, hot enough to make the room owner hurry to open the balcony to air it out, helping the exhaust fan with an extra effort.
Plêrng himself told him what had happened. And that monogamous person said outright that... he was in love already.
But the person who kept saying he didn't love him still insisted on the same word.
"Seriously, why do you resist the word 'love' so much, Wá?" Phént turned to ask curiously. He hadn't thought much of it before, because he thought his friend just loved freedom and enjoyed getting around. But with the case of Phîi Sǐndhu, he couldn't help feeling that maybe he was more afraid of loving someone.
The question made Plêrng just keep his head down washing vegetables.
"I (Kuu) am not resisting. I (Kuu) just feel that with Phîi Sǐndhu, it's just liking."
"Really?"
Âi'Plêrng also couldn't go on. His silent, still manner made the other speak up immediately.
"When you don't see him, you want to see him, right?"
"Of course, Ná. That's my (Kuu) personal log, Wôoi."
Even though his friend said it half-jokingly, the serious person continued while flipping the pork in the pan.
"When you see something, you want to buy it for him. When you see something he likes, you want to know if he'd be happy to get it. When you're far apart for a long time, you miss him. Just hearing his voice makes you happy. When he has someone else, you get angry and sulk. When he doesn't pay attention, you want to demand his attention to turn to you. And no matter how handsome someone else who comes along is, you don't change your mind."
All of that made Plêrng fall silent, stunned, his lips pressed tightly together.
"That might be infatuation, you know."
"Yeah, it depends on time, Lâe."
Was Âi'Phént saying that if he still felt this way after a long time, he shouldn't make excuses anymore?
"I thought you said you'd stop agitating?" He couldn't help but glance sideways.
"When I see someone being dim-witted about something they should be smart about, I can't help but offer charity." The listener pouted.
But he wasn't angry. He was just saying it out of concern. He could only walk over and lean on his shoulder, looking at the delicious-looking pork steak in the pan, mouth watering, and changed the subject.
"When will it be ready?"
"Just a sec. You, Hòe. When in your life will the salad be ready?" The head chef glanced sideways.
"It's just mixing it with dressing and it's done, you."
Plêrng smiled coyly, until Phént changed the subject too. Seeing that he hadn't called him over to cook for him much lately, he probably went to eat with that other person.
"And what about your Phîi Sǐndhu?"
"I told him you were coming. He didn't say anything."
Plêrng kinda knew that guy was secretly jealous. Even though he told him to feel at ease that they were just friends, Phîi Sǐndhu seemed utterly possessive of him. He could only glance sideways at the pan, walk to open the fridge and find several more pieces of meat, so he asked his friend in a wheedling tone.
"Since the two of us can't finish it all anyway, how about we invite Phîi Sǐndhu to eat with us?"
"Exactly as I (Kuu) predicted."
"Predicted what?"
"See something and think of him."
Thud
Plêrng's hand, which was about to close the fridge, froze immediately, because it was true, as Âi'Phént said. He did think he wanted Phîi Sǐndhu to come down and eat together. Plus, it would reassure him that this was really just a friend. It's not like they would do each other anyway, since it looked like they'd be fighting over who gets to be the one done.
"I (Kuu) just hate to waste food. Okay, I'll go get Phîi Sǐndhu."
The speaker walked out of the room immediately, ignoring the shout from behind.
"Just go get him, Wôoi! Don't sneak off to eat by yourselves. I'm almost done here!"
Why stick around to answer his questions? Better to go see his beloved romantic partner.
Huh, what did I (Kuu) just accidentally think?
The little-one shrugged slightly, then walked upstairs, not planning to knock because... fuck it, better to just use the key.
"Hey, Nông Plêrng!"
But the sight that met his eyes made Plêrng stifle a laugh. Because Phîi Sǐndhu... was standing right on the balcony.
Not standing there enjoying the breeze and the view, but standing with his head craned down, hoping to see the lower floor, who knows if he had been eavesdropping and heard anything, because he had left the balcony door open. Now, the large-built man could only scratch his cheek awkwardly. In contrast, that Plêrng walked, half-skipping, to hug his waist tightly.
"Jealous person."
Plêrng looked into his eyes and spoke word by word.
That was it. The jealous person's face turned red instantly.
"And can't I be jealous of Nông Plêrng?"
"Didn't say a word against it. But I'm afraid you'll fall off the balcony, Phîi." The little-one wrinkled his nose at him, then said in a clear voice.
"And Plêrng has good news to tell you."
"Khrap?"
"Plêrng has one invitation to eat steak cooked by Âi'Phént, in exchange for you going to show off your skill frying spaghetti to prove that Plêrng's romantic partner is better at cooking than him. Interested, Khrap?" Plêrng raised his eyebrows, asking, eyes sparkling. This made Phîi Sǐndhu remove his hands from his waist and hurriedly walk to the kitchen, opening cabinets busily. Then he let out a sigh of relief.
Phîi Sǐndhu turned to look, holding up a package of yellow noodles in his hand.
"Can I accept the invitation now?"
That alone made Plêrng laugh out loud. He walked over to take the other's arm and they left the room together, because this guest met the conditions perfectly.
"Let's go quickly. Before Âi'Phént says we sneaked off to do each other." Plêrng laughed loudly, and had to admit... he was happier than he had ever been.
Being next to Phîi Sǐndhu made him indescribably happy.
But Plêrng couldn't be happy for long, because....
"Uncle Aphros is calling. I need to talk for a bit."
Plêrng pointed towards the balcony, while in the middle of eating dinner with his romantic partner and friend. Both of them nodded in acknowledgment, then turned to continue talking about this semester's activities. They seemed to be getting somewhat familiar with each other, to the point he felt reassured.
He wanted his romantic partner and his friend to get along well.
"Uncle, Khrap. Miss you so much."
[You sound cheerful.]
"Of course. It's because Uncle Aphros called, after all." Plêrng said with a laugh in his voice, partly because his uncle called, and partly because of the person still eating together with him in the room.
[If you miss me, why don't you come see me, my dear nephew?]
"Well, Plêrng is busy."
[You don't really miss me, do you?]
His uncle's tone wasn't angry; it sounded teasing, as usual, so he said in a clear voice. "I do miss you. I even called you first."
[You called to ask me to open a hotel room, right?]
My dearest uncle said jokingly.
[So how was it? Did you get to eat?]
"As if I'd miss out, Uncle. I don't even want to tell you, but your nephew has a romantic partner now, you know." Plêrng hesitated a little, but decided to say it. He had no secrets from his young uncle anyway. Even his playing around, opening rooms wanting to devour men, his uncle knew. So, he should tell him, Lâe, that now he really had someone he was dating. This caused a long silence on the other end of the line.
"Hello? Uncle, are you still there?"
[I'm here, I'm here. I was just thinking my news can't compare to Plêrng's good news.]
"What news, Uncle?"
[I'm still hesitating whether to tell you or not.]
The person on this end grew even more curious, urging his uncle a bit more, because if he didn't tell him, he'd probably drive to see him and ask until he found out anyway. The other end heaved a heavy sigh, so heavy that Plêrng could clearly feel the gloomy atmosphere emanating from the phone. It made the happiness he had plummet, turning into concern and then becoming worry.
"Tell Plêrng, Uncle. Like this, Plêrng won't stop wondering."
The young uncle sighed again.
[I've signed the divorce papers.]
Thud
The listener fell silent immediately. He had no words to comfort the other, because he suddenly thought of an event from ten years ago. On the day his uncle was at his worst in his life. The day his uncle announced his retirement from the entertainment industry, almost abandoning everything because of one person. His super cool and capable Uncle Aphros crumbled because of that person.
[Don't worry. I'm not in as bad a state as I was then, not one bit. You know my married life hasn't been salvageable for a long time. Don't think-deeply about it.]
"How can I not think-deeply? You almost died, Khrap."
Plêrng spoke almost in a whisper. His eyes grew moist with clear droplets because the images from that time came back to him again. The day his uncle, the best and greatest in his world, almost lost his mind from breaking up with the person he had said loved him so much. His uncle was so out of his mind he almost drove head-on into a truck. But his uncle swerved to the side of the road and survived. After that, Uncle Aphros lived like someone who had lost the will to live for half a year before recovering and becoming his uncle again.
He was the one who was closest, the one who saw, the one who stayed by his uncle's side during that time.
[But you know I didn't love your aunt-in-law. It doesn't hurt.]
That was true. After his uncle recovered, he focused on working behind the scenes, quietly building a name for himself as a director. Then his uncle got married. He knew his uncle didn't love his aunt-in-law at all. It was as if his uncle didn't think-deeply anymore; anyone would do, if it wasn't that one person who had parted ways with him. And he also knew his uncle had been sleeping in separate beds from her for a year, and now had decided to divorce.
[Come on, I just called to tell you first so you wouldn't whine about hearing it from someone else, right, my dear nephew?]
But the listener also had tears welling up, biting his lip until it hurt. Because now... who would be by his uncle's side?
"Should Plêrng come see you?"
[I'm forty now, you know. Not a teenager. I won't go crash my car into anyone.]
"Do couples only have to part ways, Uncle?"
He couldn't help but ask, which made the other end of the line laugh.
[Your Phô and Mâe have been together for tens of years. I'm just unlucky, that's all. I guess I just don't have the fortune for a life partner. It's probably better to stay single and play around. Don't think-deeply. No couple is like any other. And I'm sorry, because back then you were closest to me and saw my unseemly state. So that's why you refuse to have a romantic partner, isn't it?]
"It's not because of you at all, Uncle!"
Actually, it was partly because seeing his uncle, the best in his world, become like that made Plêrng afraid... afraid it would happen to himself.
[Don't think-deeply. You are luckier than I am.]
Uncle Aphros hung up, but Plêrng still stood motionless in the same spot. His eyes closed, and he saw the images of the day his uncle was in pain, the day his uncle couldn't get up, the day he himself said... he would have no love.
Back when Uncle Aphros hadn't loved that person, he was the most charming man in the world, with only people approaching him. But the violent breakup made his uncle deteriorate. And now his uncle was going to divorce again.
Plêrng was telling himself that not many couples stayed together like his parents. And he was a man...
He quickly veered his thoughts in another direction. The thought made him turn to look at Phîi Sǐndhu, who had also turned to meet his eyes, until he had to.
If he let himself fall in love, would he end up in the same state as Uncle Aphros?
Suddenly, Plêrng felt afraid.
Sǐndhu had noticed since Nông Plêrng took the call that the other had fallen silent, but he didn't speak up to ask because it might be a family matter. Moreover, the person himself seemed not to want to talk about it. Until after Nông Phént had gone back, the young man could no longer bear to see the eyes that seemed about to cry, so he had to ask.
"Did something happen?"
The other looked at his face silently, then bit his lip tightly.
"Nothing, Phîi."
"You really won't tell me?"
He knew the little-one was upset, and he wanted to help share the burden, even a little. And that made Práo Plêrng bite his own lip even harder, then blurt out a question.
"If you know you're going to get hurt, then isn't it better not to love, Khrap?"
"Hmm!"
Sǐndhu's eyes widened, looking at the person who was clenching his fists tightly.
"I don't know anymore, Phîi Sǐndhu. People keep telling me that I love you. But I don't know. I'm not sure. If I love you, Phîi Sǐndhu, and one day we have to break up, then I will have to get hurt, right? I doesn't want to get hurt. I'm happy with how things are now. I don't want to become someone who just sits and cries. I..."
Snap
"Plêrng. Plêrng, look at my face."
The tall figure grabbed the other's arms, forcing him to look him in the face.
"What happened?"
He asked in a strong voice, and then Nông Plêrng told him in a sorrowful tone.
"Uncle called to tell me he got divorced."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Khrap. But that has nothing to do with us, Nông Plêrng. I and Nông Plêrng aren't breaking up at all." He tried to make him understand that this wasn't about them, but about that uncle.
"But what if one day we have to break up? I don't know, Phîi Sǐndhu. I don't know. Plêrng... whatever. Can Phîi Sǐndhu go back first? Right now, I want to be alone."
"Alone without me?"
He asked, shocked. The other nodded vigorously.
"Until when?"
He didn't know why Plêrng's uncle's matter affected the other so much. He had no intention of breaking up. But seeing the confused expression on the face of someone usually so self-confident for the first time made the young man agree to ask calmly. He wanted to know how long that time was, how many days. And that made Plêrng lower his head.
"Plêrng doesn't know, Ná, Phîi Sǐndhu. I beg you, Lâ. Can you let Plêrng think first?"
Even though he didn't agree one bit, as he said, he had never seen Plêrng make such a face before. So he could only let go of the arm he was holding.
He could give him time. But...
"I will not break up with Plêrng."
That was what he had already decided. Therefore, even if Plêrng thought about it and said he wanted to break up, he would still not give up. That was what Sǐndhu told himself with determination.
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