Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
~~~
The atmosphere in Warain's bedroom was so silent it was heartbreaking. If a needle dropped, the young man would surely hear a resounding clang.
His senses seemed to have died along with the words Phîi Payu said.... the time is up.
"Phîi Payu." It wasn't just a complaint; Rain was pleading.
Don't say that. Don't let our thing end before it even started.
But the heartless person emphasized it again, making the listener feel as if the floor was tilting.
"Rain's time to chase me until I'm caught is up."
Why repeat? Isn't it enough that I'm already hurt?
The sick person's expression was pained, not physically, but from a heart that was about to break, all because of a man he had known for just over two months. The person he hated from the first moment he heard his name, but was also the same person he admired immensely. The person he tried to defeat by every means possible. And that very man had influence over... his heart.
He just remembered that Phîi Payu always said he didn't feel anything, was never shaken, never soft-hearted. It was only him, willfully assuming, in the manner of a self-centered person, that their intimate actions held a meaning that didn't need words. He thought Phîi Payu felt the same way about the hugs, the kisses, the touches.
If you didn't feel anything, why give me hope!
Or was I just stupid all along?
In the end, he was just a dim-wit, as Phîi Payu always said.
These thoughts made Rain bow his head and look at his lap, his two hands dropping to his sides, devoid of strength. The stubbornness, the self-centeredness, and the desire to win had all vanished in an instant, along with the clear tears welling up in his burning hot eyes, ready to fall at any moment.
He had just realized... he liked Phîi Payu.
"Because I will be the one chasing Rain myself."
Snap!
His pale face jerked up abruptly, looking at the person who had suddenly said something. But those few words made him see a light at the end of the tunnel. His hands, lying at his sides, trembled. He wanted to reach out and grab the other's arm, but didn't dare, afraid that if his heart was toyed with again, he would never be able to get over it.
"Phîi Payu." Rain could only be a stupid youth, repeating the other's name.
Meanwhile, Payu reached out to touch his white cheek, stroking it gently. His impassive face softened, his sharp eyes clearly showing fondness, and his lips parted into a pleasant smile.
"Don't make that face. I haven't finished speaking yet."
"What do you mean? Are you teasing me again? I'm not funny. I'm not laughing. If you don't like me, if you don't think of us as more than senior and junior, then don't hurt me like this. I have a heart too. Do you think I can endure you hurting me repeatedly?!" the hurt person said, restraining himself, which then turned into suppressed sobs as Payu reached out to cup both his cheeks.
The tall figure moved closer, ignoring the evasive posture, leaning in until their foreheads touched, eyes meeting.
"I'll say it again, Rain. Listen carefully."
"Rain's time to chase me is over, because I will be the one chasing Rain myself. Hear that clearly?"
Strangely, a moment ago, he felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff. But upon hearing the deep voice speak clearly, his heart swelled as if it could fly to heaven. Even though he should complain, punch his face, kick his shins a few times, the youth instead pressed his face down hard, placing his hands over the large hands, seeking reassurance.
"I'm not imagining it alone, right? I'm not feeling it alone, right?"
Payu stroked the tip of the red-eyed rabbit's nose.
"If Rain means the feeling of 'like,' then Rain isn't imagining it alone."
Thump!
Let anyone who wants to call him soft-hearted do so, because Rain flung himself into the other's embrace, almost making them fall onto the bed, burying his face against the broad shoulder, babbling questions.
"You like me, right, Phîi Payu? You really like me, right?"
Payu laughed heartily, holding the waist of the stubborn youth tightly.
"Want to hear it clearly?"
"Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!" Rain nodded so hard his neck nearly broke. He pulled back to look at him with an expectant expression, more anxious than waiting for exam results. The lump in his chest beat fiercely with excitement, waiting for that word from the mouth of the person in front of him. But...
"Nah, later this kid will just keep asking. Too lazy to say it many times."
"Phîi Payu!!" This time, the listener both punched and pounded his shoulders fully, shouting loudly, no longer caring if his parents came up to see what was happening. He just wanted to hurt this mean senior who liked to tease him for once. Even though he knew his strength couldn't do much, hearing the groans of pain was satisfying enough.
"Don't hit so much, it'll bleed."
"Are you crazy? Hitting causes bruises; where would it bleed?"
"It would bleed," Payu gathered both of his hands, looked up at the person who was kneeling on the bed, then said with a wide smile.
"Last night, Rain scratched me until I bled a little. If you hit too much, the wound might reopen."
"Âi Phîi Payu!" Rain could say that this time he was angry, not embarrassed. He wanted to strangle him until he died from lack of air, damn it. But he needed the answer to the previous question first. He wanted it confirmed, not his own assumption. He was tired of crying; this was already enough headache and eye pain.
"So, Rain can't chase you because the time is up, but you will chase Rain because there's no time limit, right?"
Payu nodded, making the questioner almost smile. But...
"Yeah, but I think we don't need to chase anymore."
"Hey! Why?" Rain swore that if anyone said their thing was a joke one more time, he would go get a knife and stab him right in the chest. But instead, he gaped when Phîi Payu pulled the nape of his neck in for a deep kiss. Then he said with a laugh in his voice.
"Because I think the chase was successful."
From stunned to silent, from silent to embarrassed, from embarrassed to... angry to cover his shyness.
"Who was successfully chased! Someone like you, Phîi Payu, successfully chasing me? In your next life, in the afternoon!" The small figure had climbed to sit straddling Payu's lap without realizing it. But now he bounced down hard, intending to make that tall guy feel some physical pain too, after always teasing him. Payu just laughed loudly, pulling his arms back into an embrace.
At first, he resisted a bit to save face, but when the other pulled harder, he willingly let himself be hugged.
I really contradict myself!
"No need for the next life, next year, or next month. Right now is better. Just now I asked you if you felt the same, and you said yourself... 'Uh-huh'."
Payu affectionately rubbed the nose of the person in his embrace who was completely stunned, circling back to the previous topic, making the one who had hastily nodded in agreement that... he liked him... blush furiously.
Seriously, will there ever be a day when I can defeat Âi Phîi Payu?
The small figure bared his fangs. Because that day might never come.
"Alright, then I'll ask Rain now. Listen carefully." Payu pulled the small figure up to sit, reached out to hold his hand, and clasped it firmly, looking at him with a serious gaze, the kind that even the slowest person could guess what he was about to ask. But the youth who had been heavily teased interrupted.
"What? Are you going to ask if we're romantic partners? Hmph! I'm angry with you. I won't agree. I'm telling you." There, he declared as if holding the winning card. But at Payu's level, he just smiled at the corner of his mouth, playfully rubbing the other's hand.
"I'm not going to ask if we're romantic partners."
The youth's eyes clouded over; he wanted to shake his hand off, damn it. But he was still curious about what move he would pull.
Meanwhile, Payu had a serious expression, sincere eyes, a gentle smile that shook the heart of the beholder.
A demeanor that any girl who saw it would willingly agree without a second thought.
"I'm going to ask Rain, between coming to be my Mia or having me as your Phûa, which will you choose?"
Yes, the tone was serious, but the question... made him gape.
"Huh!!!" Rain didn't want Phîi Payu to speak multiple times, but was that a real question?
To choose between being his Mia or having him as a Phûa... doesn't that mean the same thing?
"Âi Phîi Payu!!!" That was it. Rain shouted exaggeratedly, got up from the bed, forgetting he was sick, damn it. This was clearly messing with him. Where were the 'Will you be my romantic partner?', 'Let's date.', 'We're more than senior and junior now.'? Were those things he saw in novels just the author's imagination? Why did he only encounter choices with no real option?
"Come on, choose quickly. There's a reward later."
"Where's the choice?!" The speaker turned his face away. Payu sighed, then explained with a disappointed expression.
"Why are you angry with me? I'm asking seriously, genuinely too. Last night, Rain said himself he was my Mia. Soon, people will say I forced Rain too much. So, I'm kindly giving Rain another option, which way do you prefer?"
Messing with me.
From the bottom of my little heart.
Thump!
"Rain."
As he got up, acting like he would open the door to chase the guest out, Payu seized his hand first.
"I'm going to say that, whether Rain is my Mia, or you choose me as your Phûa, I will take good care of you. I won't let anyone bully you (because only I can bully you). I won't make you cry (but if you cry on your own, that's another matter). I will be attentive so you don't feel lonely. If you want anything, I will get it for you. I will sincerely listen to what you say. Most importantly, having a romantic partner who is an architect with honors, 'Life's great dangers are more than half overcome.' I can make models, do computer work, help with theses."
Seriously, is this an advertisement?
Yet the listener softened. Not because he was interested in the last offer, but because of the serious gaze and pleasant voice that said he would take good care of him. Besides that... he would sincerely listen to his stories.
At Phîi Payu's level, he must know that Âi Rain was a nonsensical person. Sometimes he talked about things others didn't want to hear. Even friends said he was annoying, pestering him everywhere. But Phîi Payu had said he wasn't annoyed, didn't think he would be annoyed. Moreover, no matter what matter concerned him, this man had never let it pass, not even once.
Even though he was a teaser, Phîi Payu was attentive.
The man who said he wouldn't pamper, but held him tightly on days he cried.
"Phîi Payu, Rain won't choose." Payu knew the other hadn't finished speaking, because those eyes were looking straight at him.
The gaze that had captivated him from the first time he saw it... eyes that never surrendered to anyone, eyes that were determined.
"Because Rain will take both options."
Payu laughed, then gathered the small figure into a hug.
"So wicked."
"Not as much as you. Just wait, I'll go collect degrees of wickedness to defeat you someday." The listener couldn't help but pinch the tip of his upturned nose affectionately. When the other couldn't breathe and opened his mouth, he leaned down to cover his mouth heavily, sucking until the youth pounded his shoulders with loud thumps, then pulled away.
"See! You're the one who's extremely wicked! Trying to kill me?!" the small figure complained. Payu leaned in to whisper by his ear.
Thump!
As the person in his embrace froze stiff, looked up with wide eyes, Payu gave him a smile, pressed a kiss to his forehead again, then let go.
"Then I'll go back today. I'll visit again tomorrow. Tonight, take your medicine and sleep quickly so you get well soon, and then we can continue talking about us." The speaker walked to the door but couldn't resist turning back to raise an eyebrow.
"I'm not waiting for our reward anymore."
Then he stepped out of the room, leaving the room's owner... collapsing thump onto the floor to sit.
"I like you."
The reward for the good answer whispered by his ear a moment ago.
The sick person with a flushed face could only say... I'm going to die.
Well, who said Âi Rain was wicked? It's still unknown if in this lifetime I can truly defeat that wicked person. But now... completely defeated.
Anyway, I willingly lose.
"Hello, Phîi."
"Wow, Rain, long time no see. How have you been?"
After reaching an agreement, Rain lay suffering from the fever's effects for several days. He didn't know if it was because he exerted himself, talked too much, cried, and also complained too much, but his fever kept fluctuating. It bothered the person who had promised to be attentive, who drove to see him after work almost every day. Until now, he had become a favorite with his Bpǎa.
Not only that, this Warain just found out that his Bpǎa liked big bikes but couldn't ride them because Mâe had forbidden it. Having someone to talk about cars with made him extremely fond of Payu. On days Payu didn't come, he still asked about him. As for his beloved son, he was sidelined.
Today, seeing that he was fully recovered, the person who usually couldn't stay still was bored of being at home. After messaging Payu, he immediately drove to the shop.
Besides, during this time, Âi Sky had already escaped back home to see his parents in Lopburi.
"Just finished exams, submitted work, and then got sick, Phîi On."
"Yeah, people get sick often these days. The weather is extremely erratic. Sometimes hot, sometimes rainy. Today at the office was super busy because two people got the flu, and another person's child has diarrhea." Phîi On told him, then turned towards the office, which looked messier than usual. Sai-fah himself was bustling around in there.
"Anyway, go wait for Khun Payu in the room. Don't come out in the sun, or your fever might come back." The speaker smiled until his missing tooth showed, then excused himself to go back to work, leaving Rain to walk into the office, raising his hands in a wai to everyone.
As was familiar.
At first, he planned to sit and play games until Phîi Payu arrived. But seeing the situation...
"Is there anything I can help with?"
Rain walked over and poked Sai-fah, who turned to look at him as if seeing a savior sent to help.
"Can you type fast, Rain?"
"Pretty decent, Phîi."
"Okay, good. Help me with this. Fill in this data. Hey! Purim, teach Rain a bit." Sai-fah gave instructions quickly, then turned to speak apologetically.
"I'll repay you later."
"It's no trouble. I'm happy to help."
He wasn't doing good deeds expecting rewards. But now that he was the romantic partner (or Mia) of Sai-fah's twin brother, he wanted his family to like him a bit. Besides, he often came to sit and play here. Just filling out documents was a small matter.
Between having the youth wait at home or at the shop, for comfort, home would be the choice. But for an active youth who disliked being idle, having people to talk to at the shop was better than sitting playing waiting for him. But Payu didn't expect that coming to pick up the youth for a meal would lead to seeing the little one mingling with the employees, typing documents tap-tap-tap in perfect harmony.
"Rain, Khun Payu is here."
"Just a moment, Phîi. This page is almost finished."
Hey, starting to act the part, huh. Payu thought amusedly, because the person he had just seen the other day didn't even think to look up at him. His eyes were fixed on the computer screen, alternating with the papers on the desk, both hands on the keyboard.
"What's going on here?" the older twin asked the younger twin.
"Busy day today. Two down with the flu, one kid sick. If Rain hadn't come to help, we probably wouldn't be going anywhere tonight." Sai-fah explained before walking out to find the mechanics outside, leaving Payu to step close behind the person engrossed in his work, not even realizing he was standing behind him.
Payu didn't want to disturb him, so he waited until Rain finished typing the last page.
"Done... Wahhh!"
As he pressed the final Enter key, Rain yelled loudly in the office when something cold touched his earlobe.
"Phîi Payu! You scared me." Rain looked at Payu's hand and found it was a canned fruit with sparkling droplets clinging to it. It must have been so cold it made him jump.
"Payment." Payu handed it over with a smile.
"Just this?" Undervaluing my labor, obviously.
"Just typing a few pages of documents, what more do you want?" Payu asked amusedly, looking at the person who turned to pick up the entire stack of documents on the desk, then slid his chair to grab two more stacks. Then he lifted his head, holding them up for him to see.
"Who says a few pages? I've been working on this for four hours!" Rain boasted, making the listener reach out to ruffle his head.
"Phîi Payu, my hair's a mess."
"Four hours or four minutes, it's all the same to me."
Rain was so exasperated. It wasn't that he wanted praise, since he volunteered to do it himself. But hearing the guy's comparison, he looked at him sideways, brushing off the hand on his hair. If they weren't in the office, he'd really ask, Where is it? The person who said he would be attentive. Don't even talk about indulging me; you don't even give encouragement.
"Because it's Rain's duty anyway." The youth, who had no stake in this at all, frowned.
Thump!
But he froze himself when Payu placed both hands on the back of the chair, leaning in so close it was almost a kiss on the lips.
"Phîi... there are lots of people." Rain hurriedly pushed his chest, but couldn't stop the deep voice whispering by his ear.
"The duty of the shop owner's Mia."
The white face jerked up, both hands frozen, body stiff, looking at the other's satisfied smile and... his face grew hot.
"Right?" Phîi Payu didn't kiss him on the lips as he feared, but just pulled back to stand up straight, leaving the other youth sitting frozen in the same position. Then he turned his neck around like a robot, finding others were looking at them. But as soon as they made eye contact with him, they smiled and looked away in different directions. Only Phîi Sai-fah shook his head and said laughingly.
"Yeah, money doesn't leak. Using your romantic partner to work, huh."
Phîi Sai-fah was merciful enough to only use the word 'romantic partner', before turning to him.
"I really feel sorry for Rain. Tell me the truth, can you keep up with Âi Payu? If you can't, you can ask me for help."
His heart wanted to complain, but Phîi Payu just placed a hand on his shoulder, saying calmly, but... Oh ho!
"Whether he can keep up or not, he's mine."
The demeanor made Sai-fah raise his hands in surrender, shaking his head as if saying he wouldn't play along further. But the final words he left before going out were...
"So possessive, even with a Nông."
Rain thought these two were really twins. Because... they make me bloody fucking embarrassed!
"Want to go see a movie tomorrow?"
That short question yesterday was why Rain was now standing in front of his wardrobe, looking left and right, dissatisfied.
Are the pants too dark?
Okay, he had gone to eat with Phîi Payu many times. But this was the first time after the guy forcibly shoved the position of romantic partner onto him. Therefore, the young man changed and took off his clothes many times. That outfit wasn't right, this one wasn't good either, until he ended up with five-part pants and a white t-shirt.
"Okay, Phîi Payu."
[I'm in front of the house now.]
The other said so, so he turned away from the room, thinking, whatever. Phîi Payu probably wouldn't care how he dressed anyway. Until he stepped downstairs.
"Go change into long pants, Rain."
As soon as he saw his face, that was it. Payu didn't greet him but criticized the clothes he had spent almost an hour choosing, until he looked down to see what was wrong with them, extremely annoyed.
He doesn't have much leg hair. It's not that ugly, is it?
Payu laughed at his expression.
"Don't be angry yet. I'm not criticizing. But I'm taking you for a ride."
Rain understood what Phîi Payu meant when he had gone back up to change his pants and came down again, hearing his Bpǎa praising him nonstop. When he peeked outside, his eyes widened because today Phîi Payu didn't bring the big car he usually used, but a super cool black and red Ducati big bike.
It wasn't that he was a cool guy who wanted a cool bike to pick up girls. But this one... was the same one Phîi Payu used when he changed his car tire.
The initially sullen expression turned into a wide smile instantly.
Rain didn't ask if it was the same one, if he remembered that they met before he took care of Sky. Because now those things weren't important anymore. What was important was the relationship that had progressed from that point.
"So enviable." Bpǎa looked at Phîi Payu, who was straddling the bike in an extremely cool manner, making his son laugh.
"Hahaha, Bpǎa, don't be jealous of Rain. Only Rain can sit on the back here."
"I mean I want to ride it, not ride pillion."
"Uh, same thing." The son said laughingly, standing still as Payu put the helmet on for him.
Only when he climbed onto the vehicle awkwardly and hesitantly did he realize it was much higher than the motorcycles he had ridden before. Moreover, the shape made him lean forward, until he held Phîi Payu's waist uncertainly.
"Rain, put your hands on the body." The tall person pulled the hands holding his waist and placed them on the front part, which was the bike's body, making the person behind feel a bit more comfortable.
"Don't fall off, Âi Dee."
"I won't let Nông fall." Phîi Payu answered the question promptly, in a way the listener didn't notice, just stood waving at his son, watching the super cool bike he wished he could have speed out of the house's soi.
Until they were out of the parents' sight.
"Don't move your hands too much. If they touch my legs, I won't guarantee your safety tonight."
Rain was so annoyed he wanted to squeeze his legs. But he was afraid the guy would swerve into a curtain road right now. Not that he was scared of the threat, but he wanted to see the movie first, that's all. So he tried to place his hands properly, resting his face against the broad back, feeling the speed increasing, until he spoke up to ask.
Shy.
"Is there anything Phîi Payu can't do?"
Besides being an architect, a mechanic, a true activist, he was also skilled with these racing bikes.
"Enviable, right?"
Rain headbutted his back annoyedly with his helmeted head.
Yeah, right. Good-looking, works skillfully. Even being his romantic partner, I can't help but be jealous.
"Why hurt me? I was saying that Rain is the enviable one." The listener frowned, moving closer than before. He could honestly say he was confused. And he was the one left gaping when the deep voice laughed contentedly, saying without turning his face.
"Enviable for having a skilled romantic partner like me."
Ugh, I'm truly speechless.
For the rest of the journey, Warain didn't think to initiate conversation again. Not because he was shy about riding pillion with his romantic partner, being close to the point of body-to-body contact, but because he was afraid he'd accidentally punch the narcissist and cause them both to fall.
For now, he'd just sit and envy himself.
Looking at the person beside him... The cinema on a Saturday was crowded with families and couples spending time together, just like Warain walking side by side with Payu, chattering animatedly about the movie they had just finished watching, no longer caring if others...
When they arrived at the downtown department store, Rain did feel like he was the target of stares. But at first, he thought it was because of the super cool Ducati. Until they came inside the building, many pairs of eyes still turned to look, until he had to glance at the person beside him. Then it became clear who they were looking at.
Today, Phîi Payu was dressed more casually than on work days, but he wasn't wearing bear-like clothes like when he was at the shop. The tall figure wore dark jeans, a t-shirt with a brown leather jacket over it, enhancing his model-like appearance. His hair, usually tied back hastily, was left loose to frame his face, but it didn't look messy; instead, he looked like a suave, manly guy who could attract anyone's gaze.
At first, he was a bit secretly annoyed, especially after encountering that 'enviable' sentence. But the handsome guy in question was the one who was attentive to him, letting him choose the movie, the seats, the drink, the popcorn flavor. Not only that, he also held everything for him, so he didn't have to hold it himself and tire his hands. When they entered the theater, he let him choose where to sit first. Throughout the viewing, there was a hand holding his, giving warmth.
Rain had been worried he might encounter a 'all talk, hands-on' display in the middle of the theater. But Phîi Payu was a very good movie companion, because the other was focused on the content, worthy of coming to watch intentionally, listening to him whispering excitedly. So, their first movie date ended with a good impression.
If coming out meant being treated and cared for like this, he'd be willing to come watch every week (if school hasn't started yet).
"Hungry yet?"
"Very!" Rain nodded emphatically.
"Then what do you want to eat?"
"Hey! Phîi Payu, don't indulge me so much. I'll get spoiled." He had been choosing all day today. Payu laughed.
"Go ahead. But before Rain gets spoiled, I'll catch you and reform your habits until you learn your lesson."
Okay, let's just be self-centered in moderation.
"So, what do you want to eat? Don't make that face. I'm asking seriously, not teasing... I want you to have fun." The end of the sentence made him smile widely. He didn't want to make anyone more narcissistic, but just being together felt fun already.
"Korean food."
"Your face isn't Korean enough already?" Payu asked amusedly, poking the cheek of the wide-eyed youth who quickly turned his face to avoid it.
"You said you weren't teasing."
"I'm not teasing. This is called being affectionate."
"I'll believe that when I die... Someone like you only looks affectionate." The end of the sentence was mumbled in his throat, but he was the one who grabbed Payu's arm and pulled him towards the shop he had his eye on, making the person being pulled secretly smile.
Rain didn't realize he was getting more accustomed to touching and showing possessiveness in public. Which wasn't bad; on the contrary, it was good, because Payu wanted that too. But he was concerned that he didn't want Rain to feel bad. Sometimes he could sense that Rain was also apprehensive because they were both men. Although he liked teasing this youth, he definitely didn't want to see an unconfident expression.
He wanted this youth to feel good about this relationship too, to go forward together.
Payu didn't just want to date for fun; he looked further ahead.
Thoughts that reached a test point when they arrived in front of the restaurant.
"Âi Rain, how come you're here with Phîi Payu?"
Rain turned abruptly, then met his close friend who should be lying at home, belly up, at his parents' house in Lopburi.
"Âi Sky!"
The friend was looking at Rain's face, alternating with Payu's, then looked down at the hands holding onto the linked arms.
Comments
Post a Comment