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LSKY Chapter 5: When the Heart is Weak

Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
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In the midst of the darkness that closed in from every direction, the young man felt he could not breathe. He felt the touch of rough palms caressing all over his body. It was both disgusting and nauseating, but he could do nothing but gasp for air, taking it into his lungs, like a drowning person trying to grasp for the last lifeline.

No! Please! I beg you, let me wake up. Let me wake up, Sky thought.

Sky moaned. He still felt the pain rushing into his heart, along with the sound of sobbing that would not stop.

“Enough! Stop! I beg you. I’ll agree to everything. I agree, hic! I agree. Let go. No! No!! No!!!!”

Gasp!

The young man who had been lying on the bed bolted upright, drenched in sweat, eyes wide open as if he had just seen a ghost, breathing so heavily that the only sound in the room was that of his breath. Then Sky could only raise both hands to hug himself, close his eyes, and try to call back the consciousness that had been lost during sleep.

No, it’s just a dream, Sky. It’s just a dream, Sky thought.

Sky shook his head vigorously for a while until his breathing returned to normal. He raised both hands to rub his face, pushing the drenched hair back, revealing a frightened gaze.

Ding!

Suddenly, the phone rang, causing Sky to startle. But he grabbed it to look and found a message from a senior.

…Tomorrow, all club members meet together at noon. The professor called to discuss the Last Cheer day. Some parents are complaining that they don’t want the freshmen to cheer overnight and then close the cheer in the morning. Let’s discuss how to handle this…

As soon as the third-year senior dropped the message, the architecture students who were still awake at four in the morning bombarded the group with angry messages. Some asked which parent it was, some mentioned the extensive preparations already made, and some said it was a tradition done every year. Until some fourth- and fifth-year seniors came to help respond that the professor had not ordered a cancellation but to go discuss it first. Everything then gradually calmed down.

Sky himself sighed. The matter of the dream faded somewhat. He knew that the day after tomorrow he would definitely be busy. He expected to have several more meetings to make all parties understand and be satisfied. But however it went, he was one voice that wanted the Last Cheer day to be an All Night event, because last year he had participated, and it was a memorable experience he wanted to pass on to the younger students.

“Sigh! I probably won’t get any sleep, huh,” Sky muttered, getting up from bed and going straight to the homework he had left unfinished.

He had to attend meetings, submit homework, and go watch the freshmen cheer practice. Until he felt his body was heavier than normal.

His heart felt tired, but Sky did not go back to sleep. He got up and continued working on the assignments the professor had given until morning, then went out to class.

C

Sky was staring at a single English letter that almost made him collapse on the spot.

The work he had painstakingly done and submitted to the professor received an evaluation of only C.

Even though more than half the class got evaluations no different, some even lower, for Naphaton, who since entering this faculty had never gotten a grade this terrible—not to mention that he had worked on it almost to the point of death—not only did he get a low, dirt-level evaluation, he could not answer a single question the professor asked about his own work.

“I only got a little better than you,” Sky almost said out loud that if you can only comfort me like this, then don’t comfort me at all, especially when the comforter got a nice score like a B.

Warain was a slow worker. He might have to go without sleep for days to finish work by the professor’s deadline and always troubled Sky to call and remind him. Although lately Sky was relieved that Payu would wake Warain up to do work instead, Warain’s work still got scores he was happy with, unlike Sky, who did not even understand what needed to be corrected or improved.

“Never mind. I’ll do better on the next assignment.” Even though his brain still did not understand where he went wrong, he still encouraged himself. “Yeah, do better on the next one, because next week we have to submit another one anyway,” Warain responded with a horrified expression.

They had been in the semester for two weeks now. And believe me, it was a two-week period that made many in their year complain every single day. Work poured in no differently from a tsunami. But those who had romantic partners were better off, because there was someone to deliver food and water. Like the seniors who laughed maniacally and said, “You think you’re lucky? Wait and see another month from now.”

What romantic partner would be able to tolerate students from their faculty who did not even have time to read Line!

Yes, even if Sky had not blocked Phra Phai’s number, he would not have had time to sit and read the messages popping up on the screen.

If that was considered bad, a student activist like Sky, who was responsible for the freshmen cheer practice, had it several times worse. After class, instead of having time to sit and work, he had to meet with seniors who were in no different condition than corpses until late at night. Returning to his room, he worked from dawn to dusk. When he lay down to sleep, instead of sleeping soundly, he had old nightmares coming to haunt him. Now, even the cool-headed young man was beginning to not be as cool as usual.

Bloody fucking tired… this word might even be an understatement to describe his current feelings.

“Sky, where are you going?” “The third-years are calling for me.” “Yeah, then go ahead.”

Even on a free afternoon, the young man who was sitting cutting models with his close friend on opposite sides of the messy dorm was called by a senior, until he could only change clothes quickly and borrow his friend’s bike to go back to the faculty. His head was still swirling with the professor’s criticism from several days ago.

The thoughts of the young man walking quickly then bumped into…

“Sky!”

The owner of the name turned to look immediately and found a fifth-year senior… Som. “Hello, Khrap, Som.”

“Just the young man I wanted to see! What language have you been teaching the first-years? They don’t know how to respect seniors!” Sky had not even lowered his hands from the wai gesture when the fresh-faced senior, whose looks were more attractive than Warain, bared his fangs at him and began attacking, making the listener frown sharply. “Not only did they not raise their hands to wai me, they almost walked into me and knocked me over. Did not even say sorry to me once! How did you teach them to be this shit-lizard?”

Their university did not force every freshman to join the cheer; it was voluntary. But it had become a tradition that everyone usually joined, and they had to know the seniority system, especially showing respect to seniors. This was already the third week, so it was not shockingly unusual for the seniors to be angry. But he was not responsible for teaching the freshmen, was he?

The ones responsible were the third-years. And even though it was said that the second-years were mentors for the first-years, Sky had never once shown up to stand in front of the cheer room. So why was this being blamed on him?

“Uh, I think…”

“It’s because Som is so short, the freshmen probably thought he was in the same year.” Even though Sky felt resentful, he was not the type to pick a fight with anyone like this. So these words came from the mouth of a third party, who popped his head out from around the corner of the hallway with a wide smile that made his single-lidded eyes squint.

“Chik!” Som growled.

“Chai Chik reporting, Khrap,” the attractive young man from their year raised his hand in a playful salute.

Scratching the attractive young man’s face. “Here, I heard a rumor that Som is so short he got knocked flying. Are you hurt, Som? Should I carry you to the infirmary? Someone as short as you, I should be able to carry you,” the short senior, his eyes sparkling no differently from a tiger, made a gesture as if he wanted to.

“You want to get kicked, don’t you!”

“I don’t want a kick. Can I get a kiss on the cheek from you instead?”

“A kick from a heel, you mean!”

It seemed Som forgot about Sky completely, because that older person turned around and stomped his feet heavily in the other direction, while Chik turned to smile at him. “Take it easy, man. You’re Warain’s close friend, so Som is taking it out on you too. Before this, Warain himself got chewed out badly. Anyway, I’m off, going to go tease him a bit more.” With that, he hurriedly ran after the short senior, while shouting after him. “Som, where are you rushing off to? I’m the head of the second-years, Som. You can vent your frustrations to me. I’ll go punish the first-years for you.” The two of them walked away until they were out of sight, leaving Sky to sigh wearily, raising his hand to rub his eyebrows stressfully.

Sky was someone who willingly took on the role of the second-year club representative himself, but now he was starting to think a sentence he should not think… Why is it always me!

“Sigh… Why is life so bloody fucking difficult lately?”

That’s right, why was life in such a downturn lately? Don’t tell me it’s because a big, dark giant had swallowed all his luck.

However, the young man brushed this matter aside. He told the third-year seniors about what Som had said again. Although outwardly Sky acted as if he did not care, for a young man who had just turned nineteen a few months ago, how could he not be affected when so many things were piling on at once?

No, it’ll pass. I’ve been through worse than this! Sky thought.

If he compared now to what he had been through before, with just a terrible grade, being scolded by a professor, being unfairly blamed by a senior, it could not hurt him.

Yes, that was his thought before he saw the score for this week’s work…

D+

This time, even Warain himself did not know how to comfort him, because he was also struggling to survive, almost not finishing the work in time to submit as well.

Moreover, they were close to closing the cheer room. Even though Sky did not go help take care of the freshmen in the room, he had behind-the-scenes paperwork to do, having to stay up late almost every night. Having promised to do it and then not taking responsibility was not his nature. But all of that still did not hurt him as much as… the nightmares!

Ever since the day Warain asked about his ex, Sky himself had been having repeated nightmares. “Good Lord!”

So why would it be surprising that his body could not take it, until one morning he woke up with a feverish feeling?

Naphaton knew for sure that he was sick, but today he had an important class; he could not just lie in his room. So he dragged his weary body, ran through water, got dressed, and left his room, only to find a bag of breakfast from a famous restaurant in the Yaowarat district hanging in front of his room. The fragrant smell that wafted up as soon as he opened the bag made Sky bite his lip tightly.

“You send it every morning! If you have so much free time, why don’t you come help me with my work instead?” he said spitefully, because two or three days a week there would be small gifts, whether snacks or food, hanging in front of his room. He did not need to be told to know whose handiwork it was. Until he was starting to envy the person who had so much free time, as well as the increasing annoyance.

The person who had told Warain about his business was that damned nuisance. Then being asked about his ex was because of that damned nuisance. So should he still be soft-hearted?

Moreover… “When will you get bored, huh?”

It was not that Sky was playing hard to get. He himself was not that great to be able to do that. But because he knew that a man like Phra Phai, when he got bored, would just discard him. So why should he allow himself to be discarded? Would it not be better not to start anything so he would not have to see the end? Therefore, the young man walked, carrying the bag of famous porridge, down to the lower floor, went straight to the side of the building, and poured the entire bag out for the three Mâe-and-puppy dogs that came running over, wagging their tails.

Since throwing it away would be a waste, it was better to give it to the dogs and cats to eat instead.

Then he supported his weary body to the university, ignoring the phone that was vibrating with a message that said:

…I miss you, Khrap…

***

“Sky, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Acting like you’ve never seen people in the faculty in this condition before.”

Warain might have seen walking corpses, or those who, the more they studied, the more they spoke incoherently in the faculty before. He himself was in no different condition. But his close friend was in a worse state. Whether it was the dark circles under his eyes, but the rims of his eyes were red and inflamed like a sick person’s, his face pale and devoid of blood color, his lips dry and cracked, his hair messy and unkempt like someone who no longer cared what condition he was in—not to mention that he himself was also running around with both studies and activities.

Even if Warain asked if he needed help, he could barely manage himself.

He was not Payu, who was good at both studies and activities. Warain had heard that during Payu’s student days, that guy studied, did activities, and even had time for his hobbies. Called bloody fucking skilled, worthy of being the Storm God that everyone respected. At first, Warain had argued that his own close friend was just as skilled, but now, if he had to compete, he probably could not, you know.

Better to let Sky walk straight on the path first, Warain thought.

“I have, but your condition looks…”

“Wretched,” Sky finished the sentence for him in a hoarse voice.
“Not that bad, but I think you should skip this evening’s class. Go back and sleep. I’ll take you to the dorm later.” Even though Warain was still extremely curious about Phra Phai, not to mention the matter of the ex that made his friend act strangely, for now, he’d rather worry about the young man who could barely keep his eyes open first.

“No, I can’t. This evening there’s a meeting about the day after tomorrow’s Last Cheer. I have to attend. And the work isn’t finished yet.” Sky’s voice became progressively quieter, and then he shook his head vigorously. “Don’t worry. Once the cheer is over, it’ll be fine.”

“How can I not worry about you, huh? Hey! You have a fever.” Warain reached out to touch Sky’s arm and almost did not pull his hand back in time.

“Ooh, don’t be so loud. I have a headache.”

To ease his mind, “Have you taken medicine?” the little one agreed to lower his voice but asked another question, then turned to nudge the female friend in front to ask if she had fever medicine, while his close friend did not lift his head, just nodded as if to confirm he had taken it. “Once the medicine takes effect, I’ll feel better.”

Even though Sky said that, plus the professor entered the room so Warain had to stop for now, Warain did not forget to observe the condition of the young man next to him the entire time. And is this the young man who said he was fine? Because not only was his skin looking flushed, but sweat was also seeping around his forehead, and his two hands were hugging his chest tightly even though he was wearing a winter jacket over another layer. He looked every bit like a sick young man.

“Sky, are you sure you’re okay?” “Hmm.”

Warain kept asking periodically, feeling that his friend looked dazed, confused, and his eyes were droopy as if he was completely out of it.

He hesitated whether he should ask the professor’s permission to take Sky to the doctor right now, but he tried to remain calm, waiting until the class ended. As soon as the professor dismissed the class, he quickly grabbed his friend’s arm, only to find that the young man who had taken medicine was so hot that Warain had to open his eyes wide. “Let’s go to the doctor, Sky!”

“No, I don’t want to. I’ll be late coming back to class.”

“Don’t be stubborn, you! In this condition, you won’t understand anything even if you go to class! Chik, come help me support Sky! I can’t do it alone!” Warain did not hesitate to shout for another friend who stepped over looking confused. Only when that attractive young man held Sky’s other arm did his eyes widen. “You’re this hot and you still sat through class?”

“I’m not sick. Can you guys not overreact?” Sky said while frowning, looking annoyed by the loud voices, brushing off both friends’ hands, gathering his things, and standing up.

Crash! “Hey!”

That was it. His whole body leaned and hit the desk in front of him.

It was unknown whether because Sky was not standing firmly or because of the fever, but this time it was not just Warain’s or Chik’s hands that grabbed hold of him; other friends also tried their best to restrain the young man who said he had to go find the senior, and then locked arms to throw him into Warain’s car, to head straight to the hospital.

Now, forget just the infirmary; let’s go to the doctor to get a shot for this show-off young man, stat!

***

Although Phra Phai did not have even a shred of thought to retreat from the coldly-aloof youth, he himself was not a student with time to play around all day, because the young man also worked full-time at his Phô’s company that produced electronic equipment. And because the company had a separate production factory in another province, he himself had been busy with matters at the factory since last week, having just returned to Bangkok this morning.

Before, Phra Phai had delivered gifts himself, but last week he had to order someone to take the things to leave with Joy, to then give to Sky. So now he was bloody fucking missing him.

Even if he tried to call, it did not connect, and he did not need anyone to shout in his ear to know that his number was blocked.

“The more strong-willed you are, the more I want to make you soft, you know?” the young man said to himself in good spirits, because this evening he intended to stop by and wait in front of the dorm a bit.

He said that water dripping on a stone every day still wears it away, so what was a soft-hearted youth like Nong Sky worth?

With that, I really want to squeeze that softness! Phra Phai thought.

Sky might not be the most attractive young man he had ever met, but under the covers, Phra Phai was confident that those plump, firm, squeezable buttocks looked better than others he had touched. Called undressing him and immediately, his younger brother Phleng, who was said to be of universal-level attractiveness, could not compare. Not to mention that he himself did not want a type like his younger brother as a Mia.

Just thinking about it gives me a headache, unlike the quiet, aloof young man who is much more attractive, Phra Phai thought.

Lately, whenever he had free time, his mind kept thinking about Nong Sky.

I have not been looked at with disdain for over two weeks, have I? Phra Phai thought.

“I wonder what face he’ll make today~” Just thinking about it, Phra Phai wanted it to be quitting time soon. For now, he could only grab the phone he had bought specifically for this purpose to type a message.

…How are you, Nong Sky? I miss you so much it hurts…

Since the old number was probably blocked, then getting a new number to send to was fine. Even though the previous messages saying he missed him still had not been read by anyone. Then he put the phone in his pocket and started working, because even though he was the son of the company owner, his Phô never said a word that if he did not work, he would still get a salary.

Lately, I have to work hard to earn money to buy gifts to hang in front of the youth’s room, Phra Phai thought.

The young man thought with amusement.

However, Phra Phai did not see that during that time, the message he had sent was opened for the first time. And he was even more surprised, almost dropping the phone, when the new phone he had bought specifically to tease the little one screeched, because the only person who could call him was… Nong Sky.

“Hello, I’ve missed you so much, Khrap.”

The tall young man quickly adjusted his expression, let a smile show, and answered in a soft voice. But…

“Is this Phra Phai? This is Warain.”

The smile vanished instantly. “Why is Warain calling on this phone?”

Since he had been persistently pursuing for a while, even if he had not memorized the number, he remembered the ten digits of the caller. And not to mention that he had saved it as Nong Sky. But why was the person calling on this phone for the first time his friend’s little romantic partner? “Well, Sky’s phone is with me.”

That’s what Phra Phai wanted to know: how did it end up with Warain? “It’s like this, Phra Phai. Right now I’m at Sky’s room. I was just thinking about what to do when I saw the message you sent, so I called. Are you free right now, Phra Phai?” Phra Phai could swear that a smart young man like him did not understand what his friend’s romantic partner was trying to say exactly, but he nodded. “I’ll be free in another hour after work.”

“And are you free tonight? I know it’s a disturbance. If I had brought my work with me, I would have stayed here myself and not bothered you. But I left my work at Payu’s house, it’s not finished, so anyway tonight I have to go back to Payu’s house to continue. And then…”

“Stop first!” Before letting the little one ramble on, Phra Phai braked first, asking in a laughter-tinged voice. “Please organize it so I can understand what exactly is going on. To be honest, I don’t understand what Warain is saying.”

“It’s like this…”

The other end of the line was silent for a moment, then spoke words that made the listener bolt upright. “Sky is seriously sick, he collapsed in the classroom, Phra Phai.”

“What did you say?!”

“He’s sick, Phra Phai. Has a fever, his body is hot. And he endured until he collapsed with a crash in the middle of the classroom.”

“Where is he now?”

“I’m at the dorm with him.”

“Wait right there. I’m coming now.”
“Hey!”

Phra Phai ignored the objection that he had another hour until quitting time, because he gathered the documents he had been working on and stuffed them into his laptop bag, told his supervisor he needed to leave early due to an emergency, and then rushed down to his car parked there without paying attention to the prohibitions. At the very least, no one would fire the son of the company owner for rushing off to see his romantic partner who was sick.

At this time, the young man forgot to think that a fun-loving young man like him was elevating Sky to be the young man he wanted as a romantic partner without any hesitation.

He was too anxious to think about those things.

On workdays, Phra Phai did not often use his beloved big bike. Today, he spent more time on the road than usual, fighting through the terribly congested traffic to get to the student dorm he had visited several times. This time, the young man did not stop to sit and charm in the office, but used his thick-skinnedness to follow a dorm resident using an access card up to the upper floor, his hand digging in his pocket to call the young man he was looking for. “Yes, Phra Phai.”

“Which room?”

“308, at the end of the hall on the third floor.”

Every other time, Warain kept quiet about Sky, but this time that young man was probably seriously worried, so he told him easily, until the listener hurried up the stairs two steps at a time to the third floor. Just thinking that the young man was sick made him strangely anxious. Not to mention hearing that he had collapsed in the middle of the classroom. To be honest, he wanted to see with his own eyes that Sky was okay.

When he reached the third floor, he did not need to waste time looking for the room, because the little one was standing waving his hand weakly from the other end of the hallway. “Where is Nong Sky?”

“Hey, Phra Phai, listen first!”

As he made a move to open the door to the room, Warain grabbed the back of his shirt almost tearing it. “Sky has fallen asleep. Let’s talk outside the room to get things straight first.”

Phra Phai thus agreed to turn around to make eye contact, using his gaze to replace the question for Warain to start explaining. “It’s like I told you, Phra Phai. Sky has a high fever. I kind of knew since morning that he did not look too good, but he kept insisting that he was fine, until he collapsed. We had to drag him to the hospital. The doctor wanted him to stay at the hospital for a night, but Sky refused, saying his work was not finished. So in the end, they gave him an IV bag and he came back to sleep, exhausted, in this room. I myself wanted to call his parents, but Sky refused again. You see, his parents are divorced, Phra Phai. His Mâe is abroad, and his Phô is in Lopburi. He does not want to tell them and make them worry.” Warain spoke with an uncomfortable expression, not because he was revealing information he had kept secret all at once, but because he was more worried about the young man in the room.

“I’ve already told the professor for my friend. There’s a doctor’s certificate. The professor agreed to let Sky submit his work late. But mine isn’t like that, Phra Phai. If I had brought my unfinished work with me, I would have watched over him myself. But my work is at Payu’s house. If I drive back and forth, I don’t know if I’ll finish in time. And also, I don’t want Sky to be alone.”

Now Phra Phai understood what was happening. “Warain wants me to watch over him instead, right?”

Even though Warain hesitated, he finally nodded guiltily.

“When does he need to take medicine again?” But the large young man did not care, asking further. “Tomorrow morning. The doctor already gave him a fever-reducing shot.”

“Okay, then I’ll take care of him. Warain, go back to work.”

Once he agreed, the other young man smiled widely with relief, pulling the room key out of his pants pocket. But before handing it over, he paused. “I can definitely trust Phra Phai, right?”

Phra Phai was sure he had concealed the greedy look in his eyes as he looked at the key, but he must have been too obvious, because Warain pulled the key back toward himself. “Of course.”

But the little one still did not hand it over and also narrowed his single-lidded eyes.

“You said you were in a hurry to go back to work. If you dawdle like this, it won’t be finished in time. The traffic outside is bad too, you know.” The young man urged with a smile. “Promise me first that you won’t do anything to my friend.”

“If Warain doesn’t trust me, then have someone else come watch over him instead.” The tall young man said in a sincere voice, but the listener made a face at him. “Who can I find to replace him at a time like this?”

“That’s right. At a time like this, is Warain still hesitating?” The tall young man made an innocent face, until Warain, feeling helpless, handed over the key. “Sky will definitely kill me when he wakes up.”

Phra Phai looked at the small key in his hand with satisfaction, then looked up to meet the eyes of the young man who still looked like he had made a mistake.

He did not hesitate at all when he said, “I promise I won’t do anything to our friend.”

“Hmm?”

The tall young man was even surprised that he said that, since the prey was lying powerless within reach, and moreover, had no strength to chase him away.

Why say something that would chain my own legs? Phra Phai thought. Even if he was not so evil as to pounce on a sick young man and make him his Mia, a little bit of refreshment was not wrong, was it? After all, he had gone to the trouble of coming to watch over him. But… he agreed to promise like that.

The serious gaze made Warain soften. “Then I leave it to you, Phra Phai. If Sky wakes up, call and tell me.”

The young man sighed and walked toward the stairs, but could not help turning to look several times hesitantly, with Phra Phai smiling and seeing him off. Only after the back had disappeared did the smile vanish. Then the tall young man did not waste a single second, turning to open the door to the room quickly, but with the lightest touch.

The inside of Sky’s room was quite spacious, but messy. However, that was not what the young man was interested in.

Phra Phai rushed straight to the large bed where the sick young man was sleeping soundly with anxiety, and then had to freeze. He did not think that the few weeks of not seeing each other would make Sky so haggard. Not to mention the pale face and dry, cracked lips of a young man with a fever, which made the tall young man sit down beside the bed and reach out to touch Sky’s cheek gently.

Even though the skin was not as burning hot as Warain had said, the feverish body still made him unaccountably worried.

Phra Phai did not know what he was worried about. He just… did not want to see this youth sick. “Sigh! Making me worry this much. When you wake up, I’ll punish you so you learn your lesson.”

Even though his heart had not quite calmed down, seeing that the other young man was not broken anywhere except for the eyebrows furrowed together in torment from the discomfort, Phra Phai sighed softly, a faint smile appearing, moving his hand to gently push the damp locks of hair soaked with sweat back. “I’ll wipe your body for you.”

This time, Phra Phai could swear he had no ulterior motive other than pity for the young man lying on the bed drenched in sweat.

Thump!

But before his butt could leave the mattress, he felt a tug on the back of his shirt, making him turn to look. Then he met jet-black eyes that were flushed red with fever, blurry as they looked up.

Then dry, parched lips whispered words that shook the heart of the large young man. “Don’t go… don’t go.”

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