Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
~~~
Naphaton’s student dorm was surrounded by many other dorms, so the area was filled with numerous shops, whether bars, gaming shops, or restaurants ranging from pushcart vendors selling grilled pork to air-conditioned dining rooms, all to accommodate the students living in this area. The young man’s initial target had been the restaurant at the alley’s mouth, not a café with a cozy atmosphere, especially since he had not yet showered.
Once he regained his composure, Sky remembered that he had not showered yet.
The young man was not someone who worried about his appearance, and he was accustomed to the grubby friends around him, including the young women. But having to sit face-to-face with a handsome, dark-skinned man with sharp features, from whom a faint scent of sporty cologne wafted, made the unshowered young man begin to feel insecure about himself.
As for why he was sitting here sipping a blended drink opposite him… he had been dragged here, of course!
Just as Sky was about to turn into the restaurant, a warm palm seized his forearm and pulled him into this shop, pushed his shoulders to sit down, and even shoved a menu into his hands until he had no choice but to go along with it. He already knew the other was trying to unsettle him, to make him waver, and that if he ever yelled at him, he would likely only see a wide smile and satisfied, sparkling eyes.
Why should I give him what he wanted?
At this moment, Sky could only rest his chin on his hand and look outside the shop, choosing to act as if Phra Phai was thin air, even though… he tried to raise his hand to smooth his messy, unkempt hair.
But this time it was different because the usually teasing man was also quiet. The entire table was thus enveloped in an eerie silence until even the cool-tempered young man was on the verge of being unable to bear it.
Being quiet was one thing, but being quiet while staring at his face… what the bloody fucking hell was this!?
Snap!
The young man turned to look at the man opposite him in annoyance and found the large man leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms in a relaxed posture, but his sharp eyes stared at him unwaveringly. When their eyes met, the well-shaped lips lifted into a wide smile that made the handsome face look many times more attractive.
They stared at each other for almost another minute, as if whoever spoke first would lose. Sky was never afraid of losing. “I have nothing for you to look at, Khrap,” Sky said.
“Who says you don’t? There’s plenty to look at,” Phra Phai replied. Those beautiful eyes slid down to Sky’s bright red lips. Then Phra Phai continued in a pleasantly soft voice, “Your eyes are beautiful, your nose is attractive, your cheeks are graspable, and then there are those beautiful lips…” The speaker leaned in a little, lowering his voice so only the two of them could hear, his eyes sparkling as if recalling the previous encounter. “…so heart-catchingly sweet.”
Those eyes looked at Sky meaningfully, just as the tip of Phra Phai’s shoe touched Sky’s foot under the table, making the young man pull his foot away and look the other squarely in the eye, asking in a level voice, “Are you finished, Khrap?”
That damned nuisance looked a bit stunned, probably not expecting that these compliments would not make Sky blush even a little. But after a moment, he laughed without rhyme or reason. Then he called, “Nong Sky.”
“What else, Khrap?” Sky asked, exasperated.
“Nong Sky.”
This time Sky frowned intently, because the tone of voice calling him was rather… tender and sweet.
“Nong Sky, Khrap.”
Once again, a soft, gentle voice came from the large man’s mouth. Not only that, the two hands crossed over his chest moved to firmly touch Sky’s hands resting on the table. His fingertips kneaded the back of Sky’s hand tenderly. His sharp eyes looked gentle. Then Phra Phai called again in an affectionate voice. “Nong Sky, do you realize how attractive you are, Khâ?”
A man saying Khâ sounded exceedingly cute, but Sky looked at him with a steady gaze, and then…
Whoosh!
He snatched his hand away, bloody fucking hell!
It was not that Phra Phai lacked charm, because if the man sitting opposite was not Sky, someone would have been blushing and curling up in embarrassment. But with a strong-willed young man like Sky, what he did was suppress a grimace, pull his hand back to place on his lap, and turn his gaze to look outside the shop.
Anyone else might blush, but it sure as hell would not be Sky! “Aw! Not embarrassed?” Phra Phai said in a regretful tone.
“If you want to see someone get embarrassed, you’d better go play with someone else,” Sky said.
Not only was Sky not embarrassed, he even told Phra Phai to go find someone else. But the listener just laughed. “No, I only want to play with Nong Sky.”
Deep down, Sky really wanted to say, do not call him with Nong in front, because it sounded utterly insincere. If it came from the mouth of a quiet man like Payu, he might have been a bit secretly embarrassed. But with a flirt who would do anything to get someone into bed, even if Phra Phai called him ‘darling,’ he would not feel anything at all. Not to mention that Sky had extremely high immunity to young men.
“Can I?”
Even if Phra Phai looked at him with pitiful eyes, so what?
“Sigh! Let me be direct, Khrap. You don’t need to bite your lip and compliment me as attractive. If you really want someone attractive, I believe you can find people much better than me. Don’t bother with me anymore,” Sky said in a calm, steady voice, reaffirming his original statement that he did not want anything at all that the large man was offering.
“Then I’ll be direct too, Khrap. I’ve never met anyone as attractive as Nong Sky,” Phra Phai said.
“I already told you, you don’t need to grit your teeth and…” Sky began.
“I’m not gritting my teeth to compliment you,” Phra Phai said. Before Sky could finish speaking, the tall figure interjected in a soft voice. This time, he moved closer, resting his chin on his hand, and looked at Sky’s face with a fond smile. “I like Nong Sky’s messy, just-woken-up look.”
Sky, who had momentarily forgotten what condition he was in, froze, then inadvertently raised his hand to touch the ends of his hair. “Your sleepy eyes are attractive too. Your pouty lips are worth looking at. Even when you’re wearing a worn-out, almost torn t-shirt, it’s super attractive,” Phra Phai said. Those eyes slid down to Sky’s threadbare, nearly ripped sleep shirt, until the listener’s cheeks grew progressively hotter.
And they became burning hot when Phra Phai finished his sentence. “This is the first time I’ve ever been on a date with someone so completely natural,” Phra Phai said.
Sky could swear he was embarrassed, not shy!
It was not because of the word ‘date’ that made his cheeks flush red, but because Phra Phai was speaking the truth: that he had come out to eat with a man he had slept with, in this utterly wretched state. Until even the cool-headed young man bowed his head deeply, wanting to go back to the dorm to shower and then come out to fight again, Sky thought.
“Don’t worry, I like you dressed like this too… so sheer,” Phra Phai said.
Sky had to use all his ability to stop his hands from rising to cross over his chest, because even without looking up, he could feel where those eyes had stopped… right in the middle of his chest.
Luckily, at that moment, the staff arrived just in time to serve the ordered food. Sky thus tried to divert his attention to his rumbling stomach, brushing away the thought of wanting to go back to his room to change his shirt. After all, he was a young man, so what if his nipples were a bit erect? But he forgot to consider that the man opposite was the type who would not let go once he bit, because…
“Nong Sky’s nipples are so attractive,” Phra Phai said.
Thump!
Naphaton was not someone who got angry easily, but this time he kicked Phra Phai’s shin with full force and glared at him angrily. But the man who pretended to moan and groan exaggeratedly just smiled wider than before, speaking in a laughter-tinged but more sincere voice than ever. “That’s it. That’s the expression I wanted to see,” Phra Phai said.
“Psycho!” Sky exclaimed.
“Yeah, I can be a psycho. But when Nong Sky is angry, he’s really attractive too,” Phra Phai said.
Sky pressed his lips together, then grabbed a spoon to shovel shrimp fried rice into his mouth with an angry demeanor, looking displeased at having to eat with this man. But who would know that it was just to hide something?
The embarrassment that attacked him the moment someone said his natural demeanor was worth looking at. “Your ears are bright red, huh,” Phra Phai said.
But the crazy man who noticed still teased him, until Sky shot a glance over and met eyes sparkling with good humor. But in a flash, he had to quickly avert his gaze. “So really attractive, huh~” Phra Phai said.
Sky thought he had inadvertently slept with a complete madman. A madman who could make a strong-willed youth like him burn with embarrassment.
Although Phra Phai had managed to make the strong-willed youth blush once, for the rest of the meal after that, the little one did not utter a single word. Once finished eating, he placed money on the table, then stepped out of the shop, until Phra Phai himself almost could not catch up. One could say Phra Phai was completely and perfectly ignored. But was it possible for the young man to retreat? On the contrary, he liked it even more, no matter what.
The more challenging, the more valuable.
The desire to conquer Sky’s heart surged higher and higher. “Nong Sky, Nong Sky, Khrap. Woooh! Is Nong Sky deaf, Khrap?” Phra Phai called.
Since Sky could ignore him, Phra Phai would just keep pestering like this.
By the time they returned under the dorm again, Sky, who had been leading the way, finally turned around. The dark eyes that shone with determination made the good-humored man pause for a moment. Phra Phai knew before Sky even opened his mouth what he was going to talk about. “Please don’t waste your time on me, Khrap,” Sky said.
“I don’t consider it a waste of time at all,” Phra Phai said truthfully. It might be true that he spent a whole holiday day just to ambush and meet this little one, and using a lot of effort only made the youth blush once, but the young man did not see it as a loss. As long as he still felt happy teasing like this. However, Sky did not think so.
The little one, who was raising his hands to cross his arms, said in a flat voice, “I don’t know what you’ve taken a liking to about me, but if you’re looking for a sex friend, you’ve come to the wrong place,” Sky said.
It was true that Phra Phai was fascinated by the bedside manner of the youth in front of him. Several months had passed, and Phra Phai could still remember the seductive expression of the youth moaning hoarsely beneath his body, just thinking about it made him feel hot down below, Phra Phai thought.
And it must have shown on his face a bit too much, so Sky said in a decisive tone, “That night I slept with you was out of necessity. And I don’t intend to sleep with you a second time,” Sky said.
“That’s not very good of you. You get it and then discard it, huh?” Phra Phai said.
Even though he saw Sky was being serious, Phra Phai could not resist teasing. But it seemed the serious youth did not care. “No matter how much you bother me, I stand by my original words. Forget what happened that night, Khrap. I know someone like you can find much better than me. Don’t waste your time on me,” Sky said.
Phra Phai did not deny that he could find youths more attractive than this, youths with more coquettish, pleasing personalities many times over. But Phra Phai was unaccountably fascinated by Sky’s words. Most importantly, he… didn’t want to look for anyone at all, Phra Phai thought.
If I wanted to find someone else, I wouldn’t have been wilted for several months, Phra Phai thought.
There were plenty of attractive youths. He had good-looking people all around him. But someone who “caught his fancy” was not someone you met every day. “Then what if I said I want Nong Sky?” Phra Phai probed, which earned him a coldly-aloof look in return.
“Then you still won’t get me. No way,” Sky said.
If it were anyone else, they would have given up with such a clear look. But not with this man.
This strong-willed youth was bloody fucking charming.
“And if you think I’m bizarre for rejecting you, I believe there are plenty of other youths who play hard to get to make you want to tame them. Go find someone else. Don’t bother with me anymore. I don’t have time to play with you, Khrap,” Sky said. Moreover, he was a strong-willed youth who was also perceptive, for sure.
On one hand, Phra Phai did think that this youth might be playing hard to get to gain his attention. But seeing the gaze that showed no sign of joking, and moreover, setting up a strong defense as if not allowing anything to encroach on his personal space, Phra Phai began to feel sure that this youth did not have even a shred of interest in him.
Yes, he was a bit embarrassed, but he was more interested.
Therefore, this playboy who had fun with everyone asked, “Then what if I’m serious?” Phra Phai said.
Phra Phai looked Sky in the eye, then emphasized more clearly. “What if I don’t just want a sex friend?” Phra Phai asked.
To be honest, he was not sure about this himself either. He just wanted to follow his heart as always, so he asked. But instead of Sky blushing, looking up with a spoon in his mouth, or biting his lip in shy resistance, there was only a cold gaze looking back at him, along with a voice that had not softened in the slightest.
“No, Khrap,” Sky said.
Sky was silent for a moment, then spoke as if he had sat right in the middle of Phra Phai’s heart. “A man like you doesn’t get serious with anyone, Khrap. You’re just having fun because I won’t play along. That’s all,” Sky said.
Thud!
Once again, Phra Phai fell silent noticeably. It was not because Sky was exposing his bad nature, because Phra Phai knew full well that in his life, he had never truly been serious with anyone. That was it. But it was the expression of pain that flashed across Sky’s face for a brief moment that made Phra Phai unaccountably fascinated.
Sky was not pained that Phra Phai was not serious with him, but it was probably the words… ‘play along’.
Thinking about it carefully, how many times had this youth said something to the effect that I’m just playing around? Phra Phai thought.
Suddenly, I thought, what if I stopped playing then? Phra Phai thought.
“Then what if I said…” But before Phra Phai could voice what was in his heart, those single-lidded eyes staring at him warily made him swallow everything down his throat. It was clear this little one did not want to hear his words. So Phra Phai changed his mood. “Hey! Knowing my heart so well, don’t you want to try sitting in my heart sometime?” Phra Phai said with a laugh, deliberately changing the serious atmosphere back to a relaxed one again. That made Sky visibly relieved. The wary demeanor relaxed a bit, followed by the exasperated look of a youth who thought a man like him was talking nonsense.
“I think instead of having me sit in your heart, you should go see a doctor, Khrap. No matter how many times I tell you, it never gets into your head,” Sky said.
“Then try whispering in my ear. Maybe I’ll understand better that way,” Phra Phai said, tilting his cheek closer with sparkling eyes, but received a cold look in response.
“I consider everything said. I also don’t have time for you to tease and play with,” Sky said. After finishing, the little one turned around and quickly walked back into the dorm, leaving the handsome man who, unlike every other time, did not follow. And it was not because Phra Phai had given up as Sky had hoped. On the contrary.
He became even more fascinated by Sky’s resistant behavior.
From the start, when he came to court him, he had thought it would be difficult. But anyway, they had already slept together. Moreover, Sky’s style clearly indicated he had plenty of experience. And Phra Phai was confident that that night had satisfied Sky fully. But the past few days were telling Phra Phai that Sky did not care about him in the slightest. And it probably was not just with him alone. That kind of demeanor seemed to say he did not want anyone at all.
Not interested in handsome men, and with a style no worse than anyone like me, it’s worth thinking about, Phra Phai thought.
But the self-confident man did not think of retreating even a bit.
This time, there was too little information. So what Phra Phai did was walk to get the helmet he had left in Joy’s room, then call his close friend. “Payu, is Warain with you?” Phra Phai asked.
***
“Even the fact that you’ve liked young men from the start?” Warain asked.
This time, Naphaton fell silent noticeably, because it was true that he had never revealed his sexual orientation to his friends. “And is that important, Khrap?” Sky retorted, making his small friend freeze. The initially provocative demeanor softened immediately. But Warain still could not help arguing. “It’s not that it’s important, but you never told me. I’ve been your friend for over a year! At least when I told you I was dating Payu, you should have told me that you’re like that too. I was so worried,” Warain said in a slightly aggrieved voice, until Sky shook his head.
“Whether it’s like this or like that, I’m still your friend. I told you already, I’m not your Mâe. I can accept you dating anyone. As for why I never told you, it’s because I didn’t see how this matter was important. Come on, I won’t interfere with your Payu,” Sky added the last part with a faint smile, making Warain complain immediately.
“I don’t think you’d stab me in the back. I know what kind of youth you are. It’s just… you didn’t tell me,” Warain said. Warain looked like he was about to throw a full tantrum until Sky shook his head at him.
“If I were dating someone, I would have told you. But I’m not, so what? Should I walk up to you and say, ‘Warain, I’m gay, Khrap’… like this? You’d be bloody fucking confused,” Sky said. Warain narrowed his eyes as if weighing whether to believe Sky or not. After a moment, he nodded as if accepting the reasoning. Then he jumped to sit beside Sky.
“Seriously, aren’t you interested in Phra Phai at all? He’s kind, you know? And funny too. Even if he’s not as handsome as my Payu,” Warain said. He could not resist praising his romantic partner to be heard, but Sky just shrugged, stood up, slung his bag over his shoulder, and said one word.
“No!” Sky said.
“Bloody fucking heartless! Phra Phai likes you, you know. Ooh! Phra Phai and Nong Sky, even the names are a perfect match,” Warain added one more sentence. Sky did not know how much of a bribe Warain had received, but he was excessively eager to pair Sky up with his romantic partner’s friend. That made Sky retort. “If you’re going to play like that, then isn’t your Payu the true soulmate of Phra Phai? The meaning is the same. Plus, the names are similar too. Isn’t there no room left for a Warain like you?” Sky said.
When he retorted, Warain froze, probably picturing those two dating. And Good Lord! Even I find the mental image horrifying, Sky thought. Warain, who knew his romantic partner well, must have gotten goosebumps even more.
“Like that, who would be on top? Woah! Don’t change the subject. Payu is mine,” Warain said.
“You started it first. And if Phra Phai asked you to trick any information out of me, tell him I’m not interested,” Sky said clearly, while walking around his close friend to step out of the room. But… “Or can’t you forget your ex yet?” Warain asked.
Thud!
Sky, who was about to leave the room, froze in his steps, stopping dead. Luckily, he had his back to Warain, so he did not see Sky’s expression change immediately.
Sky had only told his friend about his ex once, when he asked where Payu went to race for Warain. But Warain still remembered it by heart. Sky could only force a strained smile. I don’t want to talk about this matter almost as much as I want to erase it from my brain, Sky thought.
But Warain still did not know, so he continued chattering. “So your ex was a young man too? And also a member of that racing circuit? Does Payu know him?” Warain asked.
Sky turned to look at the small friend who asked curiously, but Warain had to freeze. “If you’re still my friend, don’t mention that damned shit-lizard again,” Sky said with a fierce glare.
“Uh…” Warain said.
“Understand?” Sky asked.
Screech screech screech!
Sky never took his emotions out on his friends, but this time he spoke in a strong voice, staring at Warain, who quickly nodded, looking visibly startled. But Sky was not in the mood to comfort. He just took long strides toward the cafeteria, not caring if his friend would follow or if he would call to report to anyone. Right now, I don’t even want to hear the words ‘ex-romantic partner’, Sky thought.
Bloody fucking hell! Why do you have to make me think about old stuff! Sky thought.
That night, because of the matter with that damned nuisance, Sky had completely forgotten about his ex. But when Warain mentioned it, the old memories flashed into his head until he could not help but get angry.
An anger that extended to the other man who had gone to ask his friend about this.
This was another reason why Sky chose not to tell his close friend about liking young men. Because Warain would definitely ask curiously what his past relationships were like, how they were, unlike Warain, who had just had his first experience dating a young man. If I told him, not only would it dredge up things I’ve tried to forget, it might also make Warain become wary, Sky thought.
Therefore, when Sky returned to his room late at night and found a bag of food from a famous restaurant hanging in front of his room—no doubt Phra Phai had already won over Joy—Sky did not hesitate to grab it and throw it in the trash can.
“You don’t need to instigate. I would never like your romantic partner’s friend anyway, Warain,” Sky spoke coldly to the bag of food. As if that was not enough, Sky, who had been letting text messages pop up on his phone every day, proceeded to block Phra Phai’s number, along with his Line, without any regard.
If there was anything that Warain had helped me realize, it was the terrible memories that made me determined not to love anyone! Sky thought.
And that night, he had another nightmare about the old things.
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