Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
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Perspective - Pete (Pitchaya)
I may have been punched in the face before, but it doesn't compare to the pain when a fist hits my stomach.
Thud.
The third punch follows up, hitting the same spot, and tears roll from my eyes. My mouth is wide open, but I don't have the strength to make a sound. I can only lie curled up on the floor of the corridor. Even breathing, I feel like my lungs are being torn. I cry out at how painful it is, so much that I can barely accept anything. My breath is strained. Fear grips my heart.
At this moment, even though I know I look pathetic, I think of only one person.
Ae... Ae, help me...
"...Ah..."
By the time I manage to utter the name of the only person I care about, I feel like I've used all the strength I have. The person standing over me shows no pity though. Through the curtain of tears, I only see a cold, frightening face looking at me as if I am some disgusting thing.
Grab.
"Heh, no money, and what is this?!!!"
I don't even have the strength to resist. I can't even swallow my saliva. Then P'Trump jerks my wrist and starts to take off the watch that Mom bought for me.
"Y-...don't..."
I wouldn't even care if the watch was worth millions, if it wasn't a gift from Mom.
Help... Ae... Help P'Pete...
I can only curl up and whisper, my voice so faint, when P'Trump pulls my wallet and phone out of my pocket. Now my whole body is numb, and my tears continue to flow, staining my cheeks with pain I have never felt before.
"Don't even think about telling the police, if you don't want me hunting you down endlessly!!!"
Thud.
The empty wallet is thrown in my face, and I don't have the strength to even look at his expression right now. I only know that the person who hurt me is turning away, leaving me in the darkness, with only the streetlights and no one passing by.
~~~
I don't know how long I've been lying there. In my mind, I think only of the man who has always helped me, and that drives me to realize that now I must help myself. He may not be here, but he is the one who gave me the courage to refuse, and the strength to try to push myself up using the wall, my hand clutching my stomach tightly.
Right now, I have no phone, nothing to contact Ae with.
Then though, I hear voices coming from the hallway outside. I try to gasp for air, clenching my teeth, suppressing the pain that shoots through my bones, and step forward.
"...Did you think how mad the senior is going to be?"
"Ha-ha, jump in groups. Tomorrow, your whole group is dead!"
Crash!!!
I try, but my legs have no strength. After just a few steps, I crash back to the ground.
"Help... please..."
My mouth tries to call out to anyone who might pass by this suffering, a voice I know will never reach them.
"Hey, did you guys hear anything?"
"Stop it, you nut-sack. Cut it and don't talk! You'll regret it soon!"
"I really did hear it, you know."
"You're the one with the messed-up hearing."
Their arguing makes my hope fade. Who would come to the corner just because they heard a fall and a plea for help at this moment? I try to comfort myself, telling myself it'll stop hurting soon. I can't rely on anyone else.
"Hey!!!! You guys, there's someone lying here!"
"Is it a ghost?"
"What kind of bloody ghost? It's a real person! You guys come help me!!!"
Then, the same person's voice rings out loudly, and they rush toward me. I feel them pulling me up, but the only words I manage to say are a faint whisper of the name of the one person who is in my heart.
"Ae… Engineering… Engineering… Ae..."
I'm sorry, Ae. I've caused trouble for you again.
Perspective - Ae (Inthach)
I'm getting irritated, really, really irritated.
"Because of you, just you, Ai'Pond! See, we're all being punished because of you!!!" Ai'Piing is yelling at my close friend, something I'd like to add to, too. How could anyone sleep in the middle of the cheer room, snoring loudly, causing the punishment to drag on until almost 8:30 PM?
But what irritates me the most: "This number is currently unreachable. Please leave a message after the beep…"
"Why did Ai'Pete turn off his phone?" I mutter quietly, not paying attention to Ai'Pond, who's making some vague excuse about watching AV a little too much. Since I got Ai'Pete's number, I've never seen him turn off his phone even once.
"What's wrong, Ae? You look stressed," Bow turns to ask me, and I shake my head.
"No, nothing. You guys can just call me if you want to eat, I'll go pick up Ai'Pete first..."
But before I could finish telling my friends, the phone rings loudly. I quickly bend down to check, but I furrow my brows immediately.
"What's up, Ai'Khaen?"
Ai'Khaen is my football teammate, but we're in different faculties. Even though he often calls me about practice, I've never seen him call at a time like this.
"Hey, Ai'Ae, don't get mad at me, but did you go beat up a kid from the International School or something? I'm right in front of the IC building. Someone got beaten up, and they keep saying 'Ae Engineering...' Hey, if it's not you, then sorry…"
"Shit!!! Ai'Pete!!!"
No one needs to tell me who the IC kid is, and I curse. I don't say goodbye to any of my friends, but instead I run off immediately, shouting at Ai'Khaen through the phone loudly.
"Keep an eye on him for me! Don't leave him alone! I'm coming right now!!!"
At this moment, I don't care how much concern I have for Ai'Pete. Just hearing that he was beaten up makes my heart drop. I remembered the vulnerability I have already felt and can't help but worry about whether he'll be okay. I am also angry, so angry that I want to punch anyone who has hurt him.
Ai'Pete never hurt anyone, so why did they have to hurt him?
I don't know how fast I am running, but every minute that passes feels slow to me. I keep blaming myself that I have promised to take care of him, but why can't I keep my promise? Right now, I am panting, sweat running down my back, but as soon as I see a large group of people standing around someone else, I rush in without thinking.
"Ai'Pete!!!"
I see him first. The pale-skinned guy who seems to glow in the dark, the person who is holding his stomach tightly, with Ai'Khaen sitting next to him. I even see his face, drenched in tears, and it makes me angry.
Grab.
I pull him around to face me. His face looks awful, his body covered in dirt, but his hands are holding his stomach. When he turns to see me, he just keeps calling me over and over.
"Ae... Ae... Ae..."
Damn it!!!
I don't know what the hell I am doing, but I pull him into a hug, letting him rest his face on my shoulder. I can feel his body shaking like a little bird, while my mouth just keeps saying...
"It's okay, I'm here, Ai'Pete. It's okay, I'm here with you."
I don't even know if I am telling him that or if I am telling myself.
Perspective - Pete (Pitchaya)
I don't know how long I have my face pressed to Ae's shoulder, but when I come to my senses, the people who come to help me have already left after learning that I know Ae, and everyone has dispersed.
The pain in my stomach has eased a lot, but it still hurts, a dull ache every time I move. Right now, I don't want to go home. I don't want Khun Mother to know what happened. If I go back now, it will only make the people at home worry for nothing.
"Then tonight, you can come sleep at my dorm."
I know Ae is worried, but I don't want him to be troubled by this as well. He has already helped me so much. How can I make him take me in again? I can't do that. So, I refuse and ask to book a hotel room in the IC building instead. Since my faculty has various departments, including hotel management, it is not strange to have an actual hotel within the faculty.
Ae looks at me for just a moment, then nods. He goes back to get the remaining wallet with only cards in it and returns it, then helps me back into the faculty building. How fortunate it is that I don't run into anyone I know. It doesn't take long, and I am sitting with my eyes closed on the bed in the room, completely exhausted.
But above all... I am scared.
I hug the pillow tightly, not because I am cold, but because I am trying to control my body from shaking any more. I don't want Ae to see me as weak, but I really can't help it. Especially when I am lying curled up alone. It is scary... scary for someone who has never experienced something like this in their life.
Pat
"Ae..."
The feeling of his palm touching my head makes me look up and see the almond-eyed person looking at me with concern. Ae makes a slightly troubled face, the one I remember he makes when he doesn't like comforting people who cry.
And because he doesn't like it, I try not to cry.
"I'm sorry." He says.
"!!!"
I can only widen my eyes, not understanding why he is apologizing to me. I am the one who should apologize to him for causing trouble.
"I said I would take care of you. I would protect you, but I wasn't fast enough... I'm sorry you had to get hurt."
I will not cry. I intend not to cry, but why? Why does Ae have to say this to me? Why does he have to cling to the few words he once told me? I don't want him to think that it is his responsibility, but when he clings to it just as much as I give importance to those words, I... cry.
I am hurt, but why do I feel so happy?
"Ae... you're not wrong... it's us... we are the ones who should... apologize... apologize... I'm sorry..." I immediately bury my face in the pillow.
I hear Ae sigh, and even though I should feel disheartened, his hand is still resting on my head... gently stroking.
Ae doesn't need to say anything more. Just the fact that he is stroking my head and not leaving... I think this is the best comfort.
I cry quietly like that. I understand the theory that the more you are comforted, the more you cry, because when he comforts me, I want to... cling to him. I want him to keep touching my head like this.
"Can you tell me what happened?"
Once I stop sobbing, Ae asks me, making me look at his face.
"Ai'Trump, right?"
Gasp!
Just hearing the name makes me jump. I don't need to tell Ae any more than this. He probably knows he has guessed correctly because right now, I must be showing a fearful expression. Just thinking about the face of the person who hurt me makes me tremble. But all of that fades away just because of...
Pat
His fingertips wipe my tears roughly. Don't think Ae will gently wipe my tears like a novel hero. He uses his fingers to swipe them away forcefully, but it still makes me feel better in a way I can't explain.
I feel that Ae is really here with me now.
"What? You're thinking that I'm filthy, right?"
"No, I just think it's very typical of you, Ae."
"Typical of me?" He looks confused, and that makes me smile, the first smile of tonight.
"If Ae used paper or a cloth to wipe it for me, then it wouldn't be Ae." And Ae would wipe it for me, not letting me do it myself.
I've noticed many times that even though Ae... um, his mouth can be a bit harsh, he likes to take care of others. If there's something he can do for you, he'll do it without realizing it. This time is the same.
"Still calling me dirty... by the way, where is your phone? Why is it turned off?" Ae turns his face away slightly before coming back to the same topic, and he speaks with a stern tone, making me purse my lips a little.
"He... took it."
"What?!" Ae yells loudly, and I can only lower my head and look at my wrist.
Grab
"Don't tell me he took your watch too." My look must have made Ae notice, because he immediately grabs my wrist, and I can only nod slightly, causing Ae to growl under his breath.
"That fucking bitch! Doesn't he have any way to make a living that he has to steal from others?!"
Although I've never cursed at anyone, I totally agree with Ae. P'Trump, the one I once knew, is dead to me now.
"What else did he take?"
"Cash from my wallet, my phone, and the watch... that's it." I say in a soft voice.
The only thing I regret losing is the watch. While Ae swears a long string of curses, he looks really angry for me, and I have to lower my head.
Thud
"Then what about you? How are you? Forget about it, what does he do to you that makes you end up lying in the hallway like that?" But then, Ae grabs my cheeks and lifts my face, asking in a deep strong voice with concern, his eyes sweeping over my face as if he fears I might fall apart somewhere.
The closeness makes my fear turn into... embarrassment.
How can I not be embarrassed when Ae is holding my cheeks? He isn't just holding them, like last time when he squeezed, but he is holding them as if I were his niece. I don't know how he treats his niece, but the tips of his fingers touching my face, the corners of my eyes, between my eyebrows, the corners of my mouth, are so gentle and soft that it makes my heart race.
"He didn't punch your face, did he?" Other than the tears and dust, of course, Ae can't find any bruises. I nod slowly.
"He punched my stomach three times... I'm so weak, Ae. After that, I just collapsed."
I try to make it sound like a joke, but he doesn't find it funny at all.
Whoosh
"Go file a police report."
"Huh?!!!"
But then, my eyes go wide when Ae quickly stands up and grabs my hand, telling me loudly something I never thought would happen.
"File... a police report?"
"Yes! He did this to you, so you have to report it and have him arrested! A scumbag like him deserves to be in jail to learn his lesson. Who does he think he is, hurting you like this?!!!" Ae says in a strong voice.
His sharp face looks furious, and his eyes gleam in a way that I have feared before. But now, I am holding him back with all my strength.
"No, I'm not filing a police report!"
"Ai Pete!!!" He turns to look at me immediately, and I can't help but feel scared. But I try to hold his hand back and speak with a trembling voice.
"Huh... Let the matter end, Ae. Let's consider it as a stroke of bad luck."
"A stroke of bad luck, my ass! I don't know how much he's taken from you, but I can't accept that you've been hurt this much!" I'm glad that he's concerned about me, but I still shake my head hard and repeat the same thing.
"Uh... No, I'm not filing a police report."
"You..."
Ae stares at me with eyes nearly popping out. I know that I'm about to get scolded for being so soft on something trivial, but instead, he just shouts and goes silent. It's so quiet that I feel my heart sink. The way he looks at me makes my heart thud with fear, and it drops to my ankles when he... lets go of my hand.
"I forgot that it's not my problem." He releases my hand, and the look he usually gives me as if I were a child he needs to take care of changes into one as if he's looking at a stranger.
"And if you still love him, that's not my problem."
"!!!"
I can only widen my eyes when I hear something I never thought I would hear... Ae thinks I still love P'Trump?!?
Right now, I can only sit there, frozen like a mute, watching as he turns to grab his bag, seemingly to leave the room. Then something pushes me to rush and hug his arm.
"No, Ae, please don't misunderstand me... don't misunderstand me!"
The one I love is him, not P'Trump.
Perspective - Ae (Inthach)
I don't know where all this damn anger is coming from. No, what I don't understand more is why Ai'Pete is still clinging to someone who has hurt him this much.
He was punched three times until he fell to the ground, his valuables were taken away. He is still soft-hearted, allowing that bloody fucking cur simply because of the word "love"? I do not understand. Yes, I have never liked anyone. For these eighteen years, I have liked only football, the game, being with friends, not like many of my friends who act as if they would die if they do not have a romantic partner. I just think I do not need to rush into it. Therefore, I do not know what this bloody fucking love is like.
Right now, I still do not understand why P'Pete protects him. But what I do not understand the most... is why I am angry at P'Pete.
Yeah, because it is absurd to still let that vile person off scot-free.
I am angry, so angry that I want to shake off P'Pete's hand, which is tightly holding my arm. Yet I cannot bring myself to do it when I look at his face, and he looks like he is going to cry again.
However, he still insists on lying to me with the same words.
"I do not love, I do not love P'Trump... not at all, Ae."
"Then go report it to the police with me!"
"U-uh... no."
Damn it. I am really angry at P'Pete. He says he does not love, then why does he not take action? And I must have shown clearly that I do not agree, which is why he holds my arm even tighter.
"Ae, listen to me, Ae, listen to me first, please."
I only just realized today that I am soft-hearted.
Thud.
I do not speak. I just sit down next to him.
"The reason I do not report it is not because I still love or like him. I just do not want this to reach Khun Mother. If I report it, it will have to be sent to the house. I do not want Khun Mother to worry. If he takes the valuables, it is fine."
"Then don't you think your mother would worry even more if she finds out later what happened to you?!" I disagree.
I can tell from talking to him many times that he loves and cares for his mother a lot, but he has also told me that his mother does not mind that he is gay. So, this kind of thing should be told to the adults, too, that someone has tried to harm him.
But P'Pete shakes his head, which makes me frustrated.
What the hell is wrong with me?! Even though I am usually calm, why, when I think about P'Pete trying to protect P'Trump, do I want to beat P'Trump to within an inch of his life?
"If this reaches my mother, it might get to Khun Grandmother's ears. No, if we report it, Khun Grandmother will know immediately, and it will reach my father... My father will find a way to blame my mother.
I will never let anyone talk badly about my mother... Ae... Ae, please believe me... I am just worried about my mother, just my mother, only her..." As he speaks, P'Pete's voice starts to tremble. His eyes are full of pleading for me to believe him, and I let out a sigh.
I want to ask what the problem is in his house because I know he lives with his mother only, but the way he looks when he talks about his father keeps me from asking.
"I'm sorry... I just got angry. I thought you still loved him..."
"No, I don't love him. I don't love him anymore!" Ai'Khun-chai says firmly.
His hands are still tightly holding my arm, which makes me feel strange with the warmth of his skin touching mine, so I quickly close myself off from it.
"If you don't love him, then you don't. I believe you now."
But why do I feel relieved?
Whoosh
"You should call your mother and tell her why you're not coming home. By now, she's probably worried to death. Your phone is off too." I pull out my phone and give it to him, at which P'Pete releases my arm and takes it.
"Thank you, Ae."
"Yeah, yeah. Call your mother already." I don't understand why I feel reluctant to lose the warmth of his arm touching mine.
I suspect I'm starting to get attached to him, like I am to my niece. Even though I only touched his cheek because of the situation, I still feel that his cheek is soft—and it feels softer than my niece's cheek, too.
"Mom, it's Pete... I was with my friends working on a report after cheering. I'll stay at the university tonight."
When P'Pete talks to his mother, I think there must be many girls falling for him. He speaks in such a soft voice, with just a hint of a whine, and a slight smile like someone who loves his mother dearly—quite the opposite of me.
If it were me, I would've just said it bluntly. "Tonight, I'm coming back late, Mom…"
"Oh, my phone... Well, I broke it, and I don't know where I put it. I'm using a friend's phone to call. Love you, Mom."
Even though his conversation with his mother is short, I can immediately feel how much he loves her. He probably also feels bad about me, since he quickly handed the phone back.
"You can continue talking."
"No, it's fine. Mom said the hotel is busy, and she won't be coming back to stay at home either."
I nod and turn to rummage through my bag.
"You should go shower. You're covered in dirt. Then you'll be able to apply some ointment... Where's the ointment? Ah, I remember I have the bruise ointment in my bag." I mumble to myself and empty out my bag, scattering everything on the bed without caring about the owner of the room. He just nods as if it's no big deal and heads into the bathroom.
At that moment, I don't care about anything else except finding the ointment.
I only realize though when he comes out, wearing only a hotel bathrobe, his face flushed… Oh, he only has his student uniform. No change of clothes. Well, whatever. I'll be back in the dorm soon. It's fine if he sleeps alone in the room without clothes.
I think that to myself, then wave for him to sit on the bed.
"Take your top off. I'll check your wound." I say this without thinking. My hands open the ointment tube, preparing to apply it, just like any athlete would—carrying basic first-aid supplies. After all, I've always had bruise ointment with me because I'm used to slipping on the football field.
"T... Take it off?"
"Why are you embarrassed? We are both men."
I remember that he likes men, but he doesn't like me. Why would he be embarrassed in front of me? It seems like my words made it pull its bathrobe down to its waist.
Thud.
Why should two men be embarrassed? Yes, and why should I be embarrassed when seeing Ai'Pete's body!
I am not being lewd. I do not think of anything with other men, but why do I feel like I am looking at a woman more than a man? None of my friends have a body like his. I know he is slim, but he is not skinny in an unpleasant way. His skin is so white that it reflects the light. His stomach is flat, and the shape of his collarbone beautifully aligns with his neck. Then because his skin is white, his chest is not dark, but a light brown, to the point where sometimes you can see it as brown with a hint of pale pink.
However, I am more interested in the red bruises that will turn green and purple in the coming days just above his navel.
"Does it hurt a lot?"
I worry about him more than looking at anything else, to which he replies in a soft voice.
"It hurts so much that I cried."
"Yeah, I understand. I've been punched there before too. I'll apply some medicine for you. If it hurts, just let me know," I say to him in a soothing tone while using the tip of my finger, which is coated in cold cream, to dab it onto his abdomen.
"Ah!"
"Does it hurt?"
He flinches, causing me to pause, but he shakes his head vigorously, urging me to focus on the bruise again. I slowly spread the cold cream, careful not to make him hurt more over the bruise, even though the tips of my fingers are touching the soft, smooth skin I've never felt from anyone else.
Of course, I've never had a romantic partner, so I've never done anything with a woman. Then this is the first time I've touched someone so intimately.
I wonder if a woman's skin is as soft and pleasant to touch as Ai'Pete's?
I only ask myself, but I continue applying the medicine carefully. I think it must hurt because he's tensing his flat stomach, which I can feel, but I find myself strangely fascinated by his soft skin, to the point where I use the tips of my fingers to gently spread the cream all over.
"Ah... Ae, that's enough..." Ai'Pete's voice trembles, causing me to stop and look up at him.
Thud.
"It hurts, right? You apply the medicine yourself. I'm going to take a shower, I'm all sticky," I throw the medicine into his hands and quickly walk toward the bathroom.
As soon as I close the door, I raise my hand to cover my face because Ai'Pete's expression that I saw earlier still lingers in my mind.
Why do I find Pete so cute? His cheeks are red, his eyes are shaking, his mouth is shaking, and his voice is telling me to stop.
"I'm sorry." I mutter to myself and turn on the faucet at full power.
I used my hand that is covered in cream to reach into my pants. I don't masturbate often because I use more energy for sports. However, now I feel horny because I have touched Pete. It's not that I like him, but it's probably because I've never touched anyone. So I feel horny easily just because I touched his soft skin.
I can't help but wonder if a woman's skin can be this soft. I feel guilty, but I admit that I masturbate…
With his face all over my head.
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