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Perspective - Pete (Pitchaya)
Several months have passed since the incident with P'Trump. My life has returned to normal. In the beginning, my friends in the faculty asked what had happened. However, the story that circulated was simply that I had been kidnapped by some thugs for extortion. So, everyone came to show their sympathy toward me, and even some professors seemed to grant me special privileges.
Then the heroes who gained fame across the entire university were… the football team.
The football team proved to be more effective than the police in rescuing me from that abandoned house and taking me to the hospital. They even managed to apprehend the criminals and hand them over to the authorities, causing such a sensation that a fan club was formed for them.
Ae started complaining that whenever there was a match, the crowd cheering had grown loud enough to give him a headache.
And as for my love life with Ae...
It feels a bit awkward to say it myself… but Ae and I are very much in love.
Even more than before, in fact.
During the early days, Ae was constantly concerned about my injuries, never failing to pick me up and drop me off. Even if he had classes, he would skip them to come get me, willing to face reprimands from the professors for arriving late. However, as time went on, he started to relax, especially since my friends in the faculty (led by P'Money) assured him that if anyone dared to harm me again, the Ladyboy Gang would take action.
As for P'Trump… He's in prison now, denied bail by the court.
Initially, he only faced charges of assault and extortion, but as investigations continued, it emerged that he was not only heavily in debt from gambling but also involved in drugs. He was using drugs, working as a drug courier, and even swindling money from older women, disappearing with large sums. Once he was arrested, more victims came forward to press charges, turning a minor case into a major one.
As a result, the legal process took its course, and as my mother said, she asked her friend to make sure it was pursued to the very end.
In the past, I might have felt some pity for him, but now… not at all. What he did to me was too despicable to forgive. Seeing him behind bars brings me much greater peace of mind.
Ae has told me that I don't have to empathize with everyone, especially since not everyone has empathy for us. He's teaching me to be strong, helping me move past the nightmares that haunted me for weeks, comforting me with his embrace.
Now, I've returned to my normal life… and am happier than before.
"Hey, hey, hey, where did you two disappear off to for New Year's? When I woke up, all I found were Ai'Mai's remains, but the two of you had vanished just like Ai'Dīe and his partner."
After the long New Year's break, the university finally reopens, and the moment Pond spots Ae and me having breakfast together, he hurries over, his voice filled with curiosity, bringing back familiar memories.
"Ai'Bloody-fucking cur, do not meddle in my business," Ae snaps at him like always, and, just as usual, Pond groans in protest.
"Ae, come on! You cannot give me just a hint? Do you know what I woke up to? Ai'Mai was sprawled across me, his leg right over my neck like this," Pond gestures, demonstrating a leg draped over his neck, making me laugh because, well, I did indeed see that scene.
Actually, during the recent New Year, I received an invitation from Sun, Ae's close friend, to a party at his house, which was filled with their close friends from high school whom I now know well. Moreover, Sun's younger sister was quite cute, and I sat and chatted with her for almost the entire night. Then, of course, at such a gathering, there was alcohol, so most of my friends, including Pond, ended up drunk and sleeping before dawn.
I came with friends, and personally, I intended to return home to celebrate New Year's with my mother, who must be tired from taking care of the hotel during the countdown all night. Ae was still awake, so he also left.
Oh, I forgot to mention that now Ae has become my mother's favorite even more than I am.
"And what does that have to do with me?" Ae replies in a calm voice, though he seems quite amused by Pond's lamentation.
"It has everything to do with you! You are my friend, so why is it only the two of you here? No, why am I the only one from the whole gang who did not get to be with my partner for New Year?" Pond rests his head on his arm, pretending to cry. However, I clearly remember that night he was the one sitting and singing, having more fun than anyone else.
"Ai'Mai does not have a romantic partner, and Ai'Dīe's partner did not come."
"You all do not understand how I feel. Do you know I do not get to see Em during the New Year? Damn it, Em's father does not let me into the house. Do I look like a bad boy trying to seduce his daughter? Ai'Ae, Ai'Aeee..."
I think I understand now that his lamentation does not stem from us leaving the party early but rather because he did not get to see Chae-em.
"Ai'Pete, do you think Pond is like those who seduce girls?" Ae then turns to ask me, pushing his friend's head away.
This question makes me smile awkwardly.
"What do you say, Ai'Pete?" Pond stares at me until I have to look away.
"Well, not really...," I responded.
"Why are you avoiding my gaze? I look like a person who is stable, loving only one person like this!"
"Bloody fucking cur, how long are you going to lament? you say you are devoted, yet what about those porn DVDs in the dorm room? I will even laugh at you for being seen as someone who is going to seduce his daughter and then leave her!" Retorts Ae.
Ae remains the same man who speaks without regard for feelings, or perhaps he knows well that what he says will not anger Pond because now Pond looks up and says...
"Then I will get rid of all the porn."
"Huh?" Even I widen my eyes because I have heard that he cherishes his belongings more than anything. Even Ae seems incredulous.
"Is it really true?" A sweet but unyielding voice asks.
"Seriously! I will prove to you that I truly love Em, okay... wait a minute, that is not your voice."
I can only turn my face away to laugh in another direction when the person standing behind Pond, hugging a book, is not a stranger. Moreover, Pond shrinks down to just two inches, which surprises me a bit.
Why fear when you are already saying it?
"Did you not say you would get rid of the porn since last year?"
"I knew it," I hear Ae mutter softly as he looks at his cunning friend, who is now gazing up at Chae-em with wide eyes.
"Well... I feel sorry for myself," Chae-em answers herself with a sweet smile and then turns to walk away.
"Hey! Em, wait! Wait for Pond! Ai'Ae, you go to the room and get rid of all the DVDs, okay!!" Pond quickly follows Chae-em, but he still turns to tell Ae.
After running for a while, he runs back and whispers softly to us. "Yeah, don't throw anything away, you. Sell it on an auction website. Some of them are limited editions—not downloadable, not for sale. If you must throw them out, at least get my money back… Maybe I can use it to buy new ones." He then runs after Chae-em.
I stay still in surprise, while the person next to me just sighs, looking accustomed to this sort of thing.
"I'm not at all surprised that Chae-em's dad doesn't like him… If a guy like that were hanging around Nong Yim, I'd punch his lights out, too." I look at Khun Uncle, fiercely protective of his niece, and smile at the thought of his future self.
"Why are you smiling at me?" Ae turns, meeting my gaze, and reaches over to pat my head, making me laugh.
"One day, will you grow a mustache?"
"That's P'Oh's thing—growing a mustache. I already look scary enough. Besides, I know you don't like me with a mustache."
I frown instantly; I've never said anything like that. I imagine him with a bit of stubble, and it actually seems kind of cool. Then he continues with a straight face, making me turn away almost reflexively.
"When I rub my stubble against you, you always say it hurts, and your skin turns bright red."
Some things don't need to be shared, Ae.
Before I can respond though, my phone rings, and I quickly pick up.
"Yes, Mom."
"Pete, can you come home today, dear?"
"Ah, is there something, Mother?" I told Mother this morning that I will be staying at the dorm today, and if there is nothing urgent, she probably would not call me back.
Furthermore, I feel that Mother's voice sounds somehow awkward. "Your Father…"
I have remained silent since hearing these words.
"He has now returned to Thailand. Tonight he wants you to have dinner at Grandmother's house."
I can only turn to look at Ae when receiving Mother's words, then I smile weakly and tell him that...
"I request some encouragement, Ae," I merely tell him, and yes, I need encouragement to face my own father.
~~~
Even though I do not want evening to come, in the end, I drive into the Pitchayaworachoti mansion, a massive mansion that has been around for several decades, but it has been maintained so well that it remains one of the most beautiful mansions in Thailand. Then I take a deep breath, gathering my courage for several minutes before stepping into the building.
"Phii Pete!!!"
I turn immediately at the sound of the call and see a nearly nine-year-old boy running towards me, so I smile at him.
"Al."
Alvin is my half-brother who was born in Germany with my father's new wife.
So, with the younger brother coming like this, it means my stepmother must come as well.
"Ich habe schon lange dich nicht gesehen, (I haven't seen you in a long time)," I speak in German, but this time, he is trying to respond to me in Thai.
"Al must speak Thai... Mother says that... if he does not speak Thai... Grandmother will not like it..." The Thai language stumbles out from the mouth of a child born and raised abroad, making me pause, then I cannot help but smile a bit as I immediately understand the meaning.
Khun Su, my stepmother, probably wants Grandmother to like this grandson.
I do not hate anything about Khun Su. I admit that when I was young, I was angry at the person who caused my father and mother to separate. The fact that Khun Su had once been my father's secretary made me even more displeased. But when I saw her, I immediately became infatuated and understood why my father chose this woman.
While my mother is a capable woman, strong, and can stand on her own, my stepmother is quite the opposite. This woman is sweet, gentle, soft-hearted, and obedient to my father's every word. That is the difference between the two women. With a father who controls everything in his life, he probably cannot easily accept that he works beneath his wife, so he turned to someone easier to control.
I believe that even if my father is unfaithful again, Khun Su will not ask for a divorce like my mother but will endure living with my father.
Even though I somewhat accept Khun Su, my grandmother... She does not like this daughter-in-law and grandson. She always says that Alvin is the unruly grandson born of a... uh... gold-digging woman.
"Grandmother is strict." Alvin himself has only been to Thailand twice, so it is not surprising that he sees my grandmother's polished demeanor as rather frightening.
"Grandmother just does not like naughty children... Al must be a good boy. Do not be naughty. Do not misbehave. Grandmother will love Al," I tell my younger brother in slow Thai.
However, he pouts, seeming to want to argue that he is not naughty at all. For me though, who has been around every summer, Al is the mischievous boy who always crashes into things and breaks them.
"Ah, Khun Pete, hello."
"Hello, Khun Su," I look up to see a beautiful woman, and I must raise my hand in greeting. Then the voice I do not want to hear comes booming out.
"When will you stop calling Pete 'Khun'? It sounds strange every time I hear it." I turn to see the scariest person... my father.
My father is a large man with sharp eyes and a prominent nose. His chiseled features indicate how handsome he must have been in his youth. However, my father's eyes often squint, glaring intensely, making him look frightening. His deep, rough voice reminds me of the times he yelled at my mother when I was a child.
"Hello, Father."
"Why did you not call me about the beating?"
My heart sinks.
I freeze instantly, staring at the man I have not seen for more than half a year. I do not think he cares, but he must be more annoyed that he learned about it later than others.
"I am fine, Father. That is why I did not say anything. You must be busy."
"Do not decide anything for me!" I lower my head, gripping Alvin's hand tighter because I feel my father looking at me with a gaze different from the one directed at Alvin.
Sometimes I think my father tries to take revenge on my mother by targeting me. He cannot do anything to her anymore because Grandmother speaks up to protect her. For me though, I am still my father's son... the child of the woman who has coldly rejected him. My father still wants to control my life as much as he can to show my mother that... he also has a claim on this child.
"I am sorry, Father."
"Um, we should go inside. Khun is waiting for you, Pete."
I silently thank my stepmother because, once she mentions Grandmother's name, my father turns to enter the house. I give a grateful smile to Khun Su.
"Khun Phum is upset that you did not call to tell him what happened. Upon hearing it from Khun, he must feel disappointed that his son did not inform him himself."
I know my stepmother tries to make me feel better because my father's sorrow may be close to... losing face.
"Yes, I am fine," I reply, gently leading my younger brother inside the house, though I feel heavy-hearted deep down.
How many days will my father stay in Thailand?
"You do not even know to check on your own son? Do you know how many days Pete was in the hospital?"
I can only lower my head, staring at the plentiful food laid out on the table, yet I cannot eat anything at all as Grandmother starts to reprimand my father. Even though she cannot visit me because of her mobility issues, she always calls to inquire about my condition. It must be she who called to inform my father.
"I did not know, Mother. No one called to tell me."
"I called to inform you months ago! It took you so long to fly here! ...Too busy with your young wife to pay attention!"
"Mother!"
It is not just me who feels uncomfortable. My stepmother and Alvin hardly dare to move while these two adults argue. I also think I am not the one suffering the most, as Khun Su nearly lets her tears fall right there.
"Do not be so shameless! You have ruined my child's life, yet you still dare to join this table! Leave and take your foreign child back with you!"
Such a manner causes my grandmother to speak disdainfully, and I am not surprised at all that after the divorce, my father had to live abroad.
My mother is the woman whom my grandmother accepts as a daughter-in-law, and as for the woman who is known to have been a mistress... My grandmother despises her to the extent of driving her away from sharing the same roof.
This led my father to accept the offer to manage a branch of the company in Germany.
"Do not insult... My Mother..." I try to hold Alvin's hand to prevent him from arguing, but for a child raised abroad, this situation is not normal at all.
"Have you never taught your child not to interrupt while adults are speaking?" Alvin glares at my grandmother and shouts.
"You little wretch!" Alvin shouts in Quasi-German.
Gasp!
Do not think I alone jump in surprise. Even Khun Su jumps as my younger brother curses in German, causing my grandmother to look over.
"Pete, what does that mean?" I pray that my grandmother does not ask, but I get caught because she probably trusts no one at this table more than me.
"Pete, what does it mean!" I pray that Grandmother does not ask, but I am caught nonetheless, for Grandmother surely trusts no one at this table as much as me. How am I to tell Grandmother that my younger brother insults her by calling her… "You Bitch Girl", which in Thai translates similarly to calling someone a buffalo or an idiot? And for an eight-year-old speaking to an elder... It is harsh... very harsh indeed.
Now all eyes turn to me, while Khun Su looks at me pleadingly, until I finally speak up softly.
"I apologize, Grandmother, for my brother's impolite behavior." I hope my grandmother believes me, and she stares at me quietly before nodding.
"Then go on." I nearly cry, turning to Alvin with a pleading look, hoping he will not say anything else.
"When are you going to take your wife and child away?"
"What? Mother is the one who told me to come see Pete, and now she is sending me away?" The two adults turn back to speak with each other, while Khun Su is mumbling her thanks to me.
"I told you to come months ago, not now that the grandchild is better. So you can take yourself, your wife, and your child back!"
Father abruptly turns to glare at me with displeasure before standing up and throwing his napkin onto the table.
"I do not want to stay here either. Come Su. Alvin... follow your father." That is all my father says before stepping out of the dining room, with Khun Su raising her hands in a wai to Khun Ya, and forcing Alvin to follow.
I am left sitting tensely, letting out a deep sigh.
"I apologize, Pete, for making you sit at the table with that woman and that outsider child," I know Khun Ya is worried about me, so I kneel beside her and take the hand of the person who has helped me and my mother all along.
"I am fine, Khun Ya. Thank you for telling Father," I lie. I want to tell Khun Ya that I am not uncomfortable sitting at the table with my stepmother and brother, but I am uncomfortable with my real father.
"I thought he would come alone. Instead, he brought his wife and that woman." Khun Ya continues to complain, and I smile at her, trying to coax her back to eat, even though every bite of food feels like it is sticking in my throat.
However, at least my father will likely hurry back to Germany in a day or two.
##
Perspective - Ae (Inthach)
Thump.
Hmm
I immediately bend down when something heavy drops onto my lap, and I see my handsome romantic partner wrinkling his nose at me.
"Right now, everyone loves Ae more than us." I laugh immediately, reaching out to pinch his nose and shake it.
"Are you sulking?"
"Well, right now Mom loves Ae, and Aunt Jeab loves Ae. I'm just the mā hūa nao nobody cares about, aren't I?"
I laugh even harder, recalling how cautious he used to be when we first met, hesitant to say anything. Now, he's bold enough to sulk at me, making me give his forehead a light tap.
[[Translator's Note: หมาหัวเน่า" (mā hūa nao) translates literally to "dog with a rotting head." In Thai, it is an idiomatic expression referring to someone who feels neglected, outcast, or unwanted in a group.]]
"Ouch, Ae is abusing me!" I cannot help but twist his cheek playfully, causing Ai'Pete to laugh loudly.
"You're getting cuter every day." I cannot help but say, because Ai'Pete is really cute. He was already adorable before with his weak demeanor, but now when he is being so affectionate, I feel that he is irresistibly cute more often than not.
"Am I cute enough to love you?"
See? That is why I say Ai'Pete is getting cuter?
"Of course you know," I lean my face down towards him, intending to press a kiss on the tip of his nose affectionately, while he blushes accordingly.
However, he does not mind that I am about to kiss him.
"It's just as I heard!!!"
Gasp!!!
At that moment, both Ai'Pete and I jump in shock upon hearing a loud shout from the front of the house, quickly getting up and turning to look at the big man staring at me with a look of disgust. Without needing to hear Ai'Pete groan, I already know who he is.
"Father."
Ai'Pete's father looks like a businessman straight out of a magazine, but the look he gives me helps me understand why Ai'Pete is so troubled every time he sees his father.
It is the look of someone who thinks he is superior to everyone else and looks down on those beneath him.
"I know you are a well-behaved child, but I cannot believe you are twisted enough to associate with a man! I never taught you to behave like this. You are like this because of your mother, aren't you?" His eyebrows furrow, displeased with what this man says. I scowl.
"It is not because of my mother, Father!!!"
"Then you are saying that your deviant sexual orientation is because of me?"
Ai'Pete goes silent, likely shocked into speechlessness, while the house staff rushes in to see what is happening. However, upon seeing who is standing in the living room, no one dares to say anything.
Then Ai'Pete's father turns to look at me.
"Hello," I suppress the urge to insult this man and bow my head, not wanting Ai'Pete to have any more trouble.
"Are you really so lowly, Ai'Pete?"
Thud.
Not only does Pete's father not return my greeting, but he also stares at me with a look of disdain, turning to shout at his son who steps in front of me immediately.
"Dad, do not scold Ae!"
"Protecting him this much, is he a gigolo or what!?!"
"Dad!!!"
I feel blood rush to my face, gritting my teeth, wanting to punch this adult who is scolding his son without listening to anything. Perhaps it is a blessing or a misfortune that Ai'Pete's mother walks in at that moment.
"Phum, how did you get here..."
"If I hadn't come, would I have known that you are aware and encouraging Ai'Pete to bring a man into the house? What kind of parenting is this, allowing him to date and sleep with a man!!!"
"Khun Phum, withdraw that statement! You have no right to look down on anyone in this house!" Ai'Pete's mother says sharply, and it is the first time I see this capable woman look as if she wants to slap someone, most definitely Ai'Pete's father.
"But this child is also my son!"
"The child you have neglected for the past ten years!" His mother takes a deep breath, as if realizing that we are also here, and speaks in a calmer tone.
"I am taking Ae upstairs…" Pete says.
"Are you allowing him to bring a man into his room, Patchara?!?"
"Ai'Pete, go upstairs." His mother tells him.
Ai'Pete quickly pulls my hand up to the second floor, even though the sound of the argument from his divorced parents echoes up here. I understand now why Ai'Pete fears his father and why... he begins to cry the moment he steps into the room.
"Get out of this house before I call your mother to tell her that you are meddling in my life! Get out!!!" We hear his mother demand.
Even though Ai'Pete is no longer an eight-year-old child, I walk over and pull him into a hug while he tightly covers his ears with both hands.
I think Pete's father is not a father; he is merely a demon who uses the title of father. A father who makes his child feel as if he is falling into hell alive.
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