Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
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Perspective - Lemon
Hello! Many of you may be somewhat familiar with me, but let me introduce myself again. My name is Lemon, but most of my friends just call me Le. Unlike my older brother though, who is too shy to use his full nickname, I embrace mine. Oh, have I told you that I am the only younger sister of P'Khaen? Yes, that P'Khaen who is often called "Khaen-ta-lup," the one with a tiny brain.
Before I share the reason I'm here, I need to handle my daily life first.
...Association of Guys Who Get Together...
On the screen of my notebook, the familiar blue screen appears, while the top left corner displays the letters lined up reading... "Association of Guys Who Get Together."
Yes, I am the admin of this fan page!
This page doesn't have many followers compared to others, but it has around six thousand or so, which makes me, the page owner, quite happy. The activities I run are pretty simple: just pictures of guys. For me, they don't have to be Thai men only. Whether they're Thai, Korean, Japanese, or foreign, if I think a guy is handsome, he definitely makes it onto the page. However, it somehow doesn't quite fit the page's name. Okay, even though there are constant updates these days and I frequently seek out couples for the girls, lately, I feel... It's not thrilling. Of course, how could it be thrilling? Reposting pictures from others feels like I don't really know them.
"If I could get a picture of P'Tinn and P'Pete on here, the likes would surely soar past ten thousand!" In the end, I can only shout it out loud before biting my nails in slight frustration.
Having a useless older brother means I have to step-up myself, right? Hmph.
I already told my bird-brained brother to ask for a photo of P'Tinn. How many days has it been since then? Tinn's photo has not been delivered to me. I've endured this long, starving for it, and still nothing! My friends at school have no idea that this nerdy kid is secretly losing it at home.
I want a handsome, swoon-worthy yaoi pair that only I know about. Do you understand that, irksome Older Brother Khaen?!
"Ouch, I can't take it anymore!" I exclaim though I am alone in my room.
Bang!
Finally, I slap both hands on my desk and storm out of my room. I leave Mom watching her evening soap, cursing out the villain. I have to circle around to the back of the house, because I don't want to be called back to watch with her.
Beep beep; whimper whimper; pant pant.
There, indeed, is my irksome simple-minded older brother with his simple-minded dog, truly pathetic.
At this moment, my beloved brother is letting mosquitoes feast on him in the backyard. From where I stand, this whole scene just looks ridiculous. With his keen eyes, he's staring at the mango tree, not moving. Not far away, he's scratching Gucci's belly. The dog is panting, lying down and lazily letting my brother pet him. Anyone passing by would surely stop to watch.
If a burglar broke into the house, these two, a man and his dog, would probably let the thief clean the place out.
"P'Khaen!"
Others might call it "calmness in the face of chaos," but for P'Khaen, it's more like... his brain has just stopped working.
Even though I am frustrated with the mission I have assigned (being used) and that he still hasn't accomplished it, I still have enough good-sibling sense to notice that my brother is acting strange. P'Khaen is bird-brained, just like I often tease him. He's not bad though. Sometimes he's just too clueless, which is why he often gets tricked by his friends.
When he was seven, P'Khaen was tricked by his friends into thinking that if he lifted a girl's skirt, he'd be impressive. And who was the victim? His little sister, of course! Yah, it happened right in the middle of the classroom.
When he was eight, P'Khaen was tricked into believing that if he climbed a tree to collect a red ant's nest, he'd become a king and be able to order his friends around. The result? He fell from the tree, broke his leg, and had to wear a cast.
When he was nine, P'Khaen was tricked into thinking that if he could fit ten Jupajip lollipops into his mouth, he'd win a coupon for free snacks at school. The result? He stuffed so many in that he started drooling in the middle of the cafeteria, and his friends mocked him for the rest of the year.
When he was ten, P'Khaen was tricked into thinking there was a sick dog being abused by its owner, and he climbed in to rescue it. However it turned out to be four Bangkaew dogs that attacked him so badly he barely made it out. Then he had to get shots.
Those aren't all the times P'Khaen was tricked—just a few examples. What frustrates me the most is that P'Khaen never gets angry or blames anyone. No matter how much he cries, he'd be smiling in no time, saying...
"No one tricked me! They didn't know, just like me. Besides, it was fun!"
How could I not call this brother of mine an absolute bird-brain? He's embarrassed me countless times. It's not even about worrying that one day he'll get tricked into doing something really bad. Sigh.
Ughhh.
From the examples I've given, do you understand why P'Khaen seems different? Usually, he wouldn't care about anything, Now though…he's been out of it for days.
Thud.
"P'Khaen!"
"Huh? What... uh... what is it, Le?"
I had to lightly jab him in the back with my knee before he snaps out of it, turning left and right like he doesn't even know where he is before finally looking up to meet my eyes. He scratches his head with the same hand that is covered in the drool from that Gucci dog, making me grimace in disgust.
"What's wrong with you? Why are you sitting here like an idiot?" I ask, then turn my back and lean against my brother.
"Le... What brand... is it similar to M\&M or something that should be a backpack...?"
"MCM?"
"Ah, yes, yes, yes. Is it expensive?"
Strangely, something feels off. P'Khaen has never cared about brands. To be honest, even today he still calls Lacoste the crocodile brand.
"Expensive? A backpack costs several tens of thousands. Why?"
"Hmm!! Several tens of thousands?"
"Yeah, why?" Suddenly, he shouts loudly, making me turn to look. I hear him mumbling.
"A backpack like that in trade for a phone number? Unhinged. He's gone mad."
"Hey, P'Khaen, I'm asking seriously. What's wrong with you?" Upon seeing his bizarre behavior, I can't help but feel worried, so I shift to sit down in front of my irksome older brother whose only positive trait is his overly white skin. He jumps, shakes his head rapidly, and gives a dry smile.
"No way!!!" Yeah, he's probably lying.
"Sigh. If not, then not. Have you got a picture of Tinn for me yet?"
Gasp!!!
He jumps completely, clearly suspicious, which only raises my concerns. I somewhat know that P'Khaen doesn't like P'Tinn that much, but he is quite perfect. P'Khaen might be jealous, which I consider good since P'Khaen is finally understanding emotions like other people instead of seeing the world only through a positive lens.
"Uh, not yet..."
"Then, when will you get it?"
"Ugh... I don't know." When he responds like that, I start getting angry.
"I'm giving you one week! If you don't get a picture of Ai'Tinn, I'll go ask for it myself!" She declares, setting a deadline. Her gullible older brother slightly opens his mouth, about to argue, but she glares until he meekly responds.
"I'll ask for it... maybe."
"It's not maybe, you have to get it... understand?"
"Yeah, I'll get it."
With that issue settled, I'm ready to continue looking for more pictures—until...
"Le, can I ask you something... Do you think it's weird if a guy asks another guy out?"
Whip!
"Uh... it's not about me! It's about a friend, really!"
I whip around to stare at him, seeing Ai'Khaen frantically shaking his head. I have to ask to be sure.
"This is about P'Pete, isn't it!?!" My imagination immediately kicks into overdrive, and my brother nods rapidly. Don't even ask how excited I feel right now.
P'Tinn and P'Pete for sure. I knew it—they're perfect for each other!
"It's not weird at all! Oh, P'Khaen, these days, things like that are totally normal. It's not just women who need someone to protect them anymore. Some men need that too. Honestly, if you were a little smaller, I'd want someone to take care of you myself. How can anyone be so optimistic that it's terrifying? I'm genuinely afraid you'll get scammed and sold off."
Of course, if P'Khaen were smaller and cuter, I'd totally support it. However, in his current state... Who'd want my soft-headed brother?
"Guys asking each other out is normal? Really? Well, if you say it's normal, then I guess I should try to be more open-minded, right?"
"Yes, exactly! These days, it's completely normal. P'Khaen, you absolutely must not act disgusted, do you understand? You need to act normal. If he's going to flirt with you, just let him flirt. You need to stay calm, go along with it, and don't make him feel bad."
It's important to get this out in the open since P'Khaen is friends with P'Pete and P'Tinn. If he sees those two flirting and starts acting like some gross villain from a cartoon, it'll make them feel awful. So... better to prevent problems than to fix them later.
After finishing my little lecture to my older brother, I am ready to head upstairs. However I can still hear him muttering… my gullible brother who had just learned something new...
"Guess I'll have to let him flirt, huh? Sure, normal is normal."
If P'Tinn and P'Pete end up dating, don't worry. My brother is on board now.
I am feeling so pleased with myself that I don't even realize... I might've just helped my brother make a decision.
Perspective - Khaen (Khaen-ta-lup)
I wouldn't have come all this way if it weren't for my little sister. There is no way I'd do this on my own.
That's what I kept telling myself as I sat on the bus, going from my house to Victory Monument, then transferring to the BTS to get off at Siam. The whole trip took almost two hours just to get to my destination... The Paragon fountain at the Paragon Mall.
The thing is, I need to backtrack a bit to explain how I ended up here…
Two days ago, after my mind cleared up thanks to my sister's advice, I decided to ask Ai'Tinn straight up whether he was serious or not. But when I thought about calling him (I had his number from Ai'Pete), I hesitated. I figure my number could still be useful as leverage in this situation, so... I called Pete instead.
"Ai'Pete, tell Ai'Tinn I want to see him."
"Huh? Why don't you tell him yourself, Khaen?"
"No way, I don't want to call him."
Pete goes quiet for a moment, then repeats himself.
"Then I'll tell Tinn that you miss him, Khaen."
"Hey!!! How did 'wanting to meet' turn into 'missing'?" I shout in surprise, and he asks in a confused voice, "But you said you wanted to meet him, right, Khaen? Doesn't that mean you miss him? Further, isn't the reason you won't call him yourself because you're shy?"
My eyes grow wide without needing any surgery. I can only loudly deny it, but still blurt out:
"I don't miss him! He's the one who said he wanted to flirt...."
In the end, I spilled everything. Pete doesn't press me with any more questions, but after hearing my short explanation, he laughs and says he'll let his friend know. Just a few minutes after hanging up, he calls back to tell me...
"Tinn asked me to tell you, Khaen, that he'll meet at the Paragon fountain this Saturday at eleven. And… If you want to change anything, call him yourself. Otherwise, he won't listen to anything at all."
That dictator!
When Tinn lays down such an ultimatum, I want to ask Pete to curse him for me, but I still have some sense of courtesy. So, I have no choice but to wake up early and drag myself here, only to check the clock and realize... I'm fifteen minutes late. Seeing that, I hurry over to the fountain. I hesitate briefly—was it the outdoor or indoor fountain? Before I can find an answer though, my sharp eyes catch sight of... something so striking even I can't ignore it.
Tinn stands by the exit in the scorching 11:00 AM sun. That alone isn't what catches my eye. It's his outfit: a dark casual shirt, brown pants, and dark brown leather shoes. He's even wearing sunglasses.
Yeah, looking at him, he's actually quite handsome.
"I know I'm clueless, but you're even more clueless. Why are you standing in the middle of the sun like this?" The first thing I throw at him is this sentence, delivered with a cheerful tone.
Seeing someone super smart like him acting so ridiculous, standing in the sun waiting like this, makes me... smile.
His smile gives me a strange, ticklish feeling.
"I was afraid you wouldn't find me because you probably wouldn't think to call. There was a chance you'd leave instead."
"So, you're standing in the sun waiting for me?" I ask, finding it hard to believe.
It's true though—he's even waited in front of my faculty building before.
"And you're dressed like it's not even hot out. Just looking at you makes me feel hot. Long-sleeved shirt, long pants—are you thinking you're walking around Milan or something?" I'm not mocking him, just teasing.
We're just meeting as friends, but he's dressed... full-on. I forgot that...
"Well, I'm here for a date, so dressing like this makes sense, right?"
Blink... blink...
I blink several times, as if my brain can't process the meaning of his words. However, my legs automatically take a step back.
Grab.
I really can't underestimate him. As soon as I step back, he grabs my arm immediately and asks me in a firm voice that leaves me momentarily speechless. "Where are you going?"
"Wha... What are you talking about? A date? I'm not here for a date. I'm just here to meet you."
This time, he sighs, and I start feeling annoyed. Is he sighing because he's frustrated with me for not understanding?
"You're really not thinking this through, Khaen-ta-lup..."
"And who told you to call me that?"
Overwhelm.
Okay, I might be getting a bit angry about the wrong thing. I am not upset that he insults me for thinking too little. However, I am angry that he uses my full name until he raises his hand to stop me and says to continue...
"I told you I'm trying to court you. The fact that you agreed to meet me means you're willing to go on a date with me... right?"
"That's not true! I just came to ask you if you were joking or not!!" I retort loudly, staring at him intently.
Then suddenly, he chooses to smile again. "If you're not embarrassed to have the answer to your question here, I will answer."
I can only look around. I see several pairs of eyes looking straight at me. Moreover, the security guard at the entrance is staring intently, which makes me blame the prominence of this fancy dressed Khun-chai. Even though my embarrassment capacity is rather negative, I feel embarrassed as well.
"Then let's talk somewhere else."
"Okay, let's go eat."
"Hey! I didn't come to eat with you. I just came to ask, and then I will leave." I insist.
I say I shouldn't have to come all the way here for this. This time, he turns back to look at me, pulling off his sunglasses, revealing his calm eyes, which clearly seem to be amused.
"Don't you know that when someone schedules a meeting before noon, it means they're inviting you to eat? If you agree to that time, it means you've accepted the invitation to eat. You accepting my invitation means you agreed to have a meal with me."
"Uh, I didn't know that."
"Well, now you know." Ai'Tinn finishes speaking and then walks, linking his arm with mine as we enter the mall, while I scratch my head in confusion about this new knowledge (?). I completely forget that his hand... is on my arm.
However, why do I not mind that he is holding my arm like this?
I'm so tired!
I try to comfort myself that it's just like eating with a guy friend, but arguing with this fucking shit-lizard Tinn is exhausting as hell. The new issue isn't anything big... Where to eat? Tinn wants to take me to a restaurant, and just seeing the prices on the menu outside makes me shake my head vigorously.
It's not that I don't have money to eat, but during the break, I don't have pocket money, you jerk. I keep pulling and dragging him from in front of that restaurant because I insist on eating at the food court or going out to eat sticky rice with grilled pork in front of the mall. That's when he finally gives in to me… even though his face looks all twisted up.
"It's loud! It's chaotic! Too many people!!!"
Looking at him like this, he clearly acts like a spoiled Khun-chai.
I can only pout, looking at his bad habit as he puts on a straight face, crossing his arms, glaring at me like I stole his car and crashed it into the curb. Honestly though, if I did take his car, he'd probably be less angry than when I drag him to eat simple food like this.
"I just don't have money! I'm eating like this."
"I told you I would treat you."
"No way. I already told you; you can't buy me with money!" I confirm my thoughts as he glares at me sternly and sighs.
"I'm not trying to buy you, but I already said I'm going to court you. Just taking you out for a meal doesn't mean I'm throwing money at you."
Geez, why does he keep stressing the word courting so much?
Before this, I didn't feel anything for him, but the fact that Tinn clearly says he wants to court me, along with Lemon saying that it's normal for guys to court each other, and then him repeating it over and over—courting, courting, courting—while I have zero experience with dating, makes me feel all flushed for some reason.
Isn't it shameless to say you're courting a guy like me?
"What do you want to eat? I'll go buy it for you," I change the subject to make him look at me before I smile...
"Buy it for me." He smiles at me!
"Hey you, stop smiling like that already. I'm not smart. I don't understand the meaning behind that smile. Every time I see it, I feel strange," I complain softly.
Honestly, being with Ai'Tinn makes my brain work overtime. He doesn't say things directly, making me interpret what he means. He just shakes his head and hands me a thousand-baht bill.
"Anything."
"One day, I'll open a restaurant called Anything for customers who are as clueless as you," I retort, not expecting him to respond.
"Then let me be your only customer."
I look at him, he looks at me, and then I... wander off to buy rice.
Was he really flirting with me just now?
~~~
"Okong aeung aa iboo."
"I can't understand you."
While eating, with my mouth full, I quickly swallow and wave my chopsticks in front of me. "So, are you really going to court me?" I ask, still looking down as I keep eating, prompting him to reply...
"Hmm."
I see that his hand has stopped eating, so I look up and see that he is staring at me. After a moment, he sighs and turns away, asking in an annoyed tone,
"You don't believe me, do you?"
"Huh? No, I believe you." He turns back to meet my gaze immediately. He must be surprised that today, not only am I not running away, but I also seem completely normal.
"Then why don't you..."
"What? Not feel creepy? Not disgusted? Not repulsed? Not run away? Or just finish what you want to say. Talking half-heartedly like this, what kind of human can understand? I'm not one to think much. If I try to interpret this on my own, I might end up on Mars..."
There you go. When I feel at ease, I start to talk a lot again.
Today, Ai'Tinn seems pleased, listening to me without interrupting. Then he asks… "So, what's the deal..."
"Again? You never finish your questions. Are you going to leave a pause for me to rest? Let's just say I'll guess. If you're asking why I'm acting normal, even though last time I ran away, I was stuck on my apologies to you for running off like that. I just wasn't prepared. I went back to lie down and think, even asking Ai'Gucci what I should do. Then I finally concluded..." I break into a wide smile after solving my mental dilemma.
"My sister says it's normal for guys to court each other. I know it's not really normal, but my sister has a good heart (?). She probably thinks gender doesn't matter. Plus, Ai'Ae and Ai'Pete are dating, so I figured it can be an unusual thing in normality. So, I'm not overthinking it anymore." I smile broadly at my conclusion.
"Then that means you're okay with courting,"
I think Ai'Tinn must be confused by me since he keeps asking me like that.
So, I tell him… "I don't know."
He stares at me intently.
"Not knowing means… I don't know. I've thought about it. Even if you're courting me, I don't know if I'm okay with guys. However, you're not trying to prank Ai'Ae with me, right?"
"Forget about that Thai Commoner." Ai'Tinn seems irritated.
"Okay, okay. Don't get mad. If you're not pranking Ai'Ae and Ai'Pete, then go ahead and court me. Right now, I see that it's normal for guys to court each other. Still though, I don't know if I'll like you." I take a breath.
"Before, you were a jerk and had a dog-mouth, tricking me in all sorts of ways. Not to mention cursing my friends. Thinking about it, it still makes me mad. You used to mess with me so much that I wanted to punch you. Even if I did punch you..." I pause a bit, unsure if it's just me, but Ai'Tinn seems to…
His expression changes a bit, so I quickly continue, "But to be honest, I don't feel creeped out by your words about courting."
Then I break into a wide smile. After that, I look down and continue eating, thinking about what else I could eat. One plate of rice seems insufficient, but when I think about the cost of the meal, I start to feel full.
Should I invite Ai'Tinn to go eat grilled pork on that side?
While I'm lost in thought, I hear something that makes my mind stumble.
"From now on... I'm serious, okay?"
Why do I suddenly feel a chill all over? It feels like... I might not be safe, I don't know why.
"Want to watch a movie?" Tinn continues.
"No, I'm out of money. If I go on like this, I won't have bus fare to get home." Even though you insist you'll treat me, Ai'Tinn, why should I take your money? You're not my partner. Besides, I have a destination, just like every time I come to this mall, so I walk ahead of the Khun-chai behind me toward...
The studio.
"I want it so badly. I want it so much. If I could just play a game, it'd be so satisfying." As soon as I step inside, I rush to the latest iPhone, grabbing it with both hands and caressing it, wanting it so badly. Of course, after using an old phone for three and a half years until it's as slow as a tortoise with a broken leg, anyone would want a new one.
"Just buy it."
Sometimes I really hate this rich jerk.
"It's thirty thousand, you know. Not three hundred." I turn sharply to glare at him, and he smiles again.
"Want me to buy it for you?"
"Do you want me to throw my phone at your head? I've told you countless times that you can't buy me with money... but I really want it." At the end of my sentence, I mumble to myself, rubbing my hands over it so much that the staff glances over, but I don't care.
Just being able to hold it makes me happy. Before I know it, I start rambling to him. "A thousand a month…" I take a breath.
"Look, I'm negotiating with my mom. If my grades this semester exceed a 3.0, she has to let me pay in installments... you know I can't afford to buy a thirty-thousand baht item all at once, right? So I'm having her buy it on credit for me first, and then I'll pay her back."
"Paying it off will take more than two years." He sounds incredulous, but I nod vigorously.
"Yeah, well, I really want it. My family doesn't support spending money frivolously. My mom would never agree to buy it for me just because I scored over three. Anyone can do that! I still want it though. Two and a half years is still two and a half years.
As soon as my grades come out this semester, I'm going to rush to the store." I share my happiness, even though I secretly worry about how I did on the exams since I've been slacking off. Still, I should be able to manage.
"Hey, when's your birthday?"
I see Ai'Tinn leaning his hands on the counter in front of me, but my keen eyes remain focused on the phone in my hands, and I answer with my mouth.
"In another six months. Why?"
"At first, I was going to find a reason to make it a birthday gift, but in six months... let's make it a gift for our three-month anniversary instead."
Gasp!
Why does his voice sound so close?!
I flinch when the sound is loud next to my ear. I turn to look... What the hell, Ai'Tinn has been standing behind me for who knows how long. Not only is he standing close, but he also leans forward, getting so close that I can feel his breath on my skin. When I turn to face him, he just... smiles.
Push.
"You're too close, you bloody fucking cur!" I push him away by his shoulder, and he steps back willingly.
Then he says something that leaves my mouth hanging open… "Your face is red, Khaen."
What the hell? Am I blushing in front of that Ai'Tinn?
I can only scream internally, placing my device down, my hands shaking as I say in a deep voice, "I have to take a shit! I'm going to the bathroom!!!"
Once I say that, I dash away without caring that I have left Ai'Tinn behind, shouting about my need to go. The way my body feels right now... I definitely need to take a shit!
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