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Perspective - Tinn Metthanun
Ten minutes ago, he insisted he wouldn't have dinner with me.
"Hey, try this! It's so good... mmm, heaven."
Yes, ten minutes ago, he said he wouldn't eat with me, yet now I'm watching him take a big bite of steamed snow fish in soy sauce. He grins wide, rice stuck between his teeth. And even though I should be repulsed by the way he eats, I almost sigh at the thought... he eats in an endearing way.
"This one's good too."
He spears a large tamarind prawn with his fork and quickly chews, looking... what do they call it... blissful, I guess.
"Eat, man. Don't just stare. Watching isn't going to fill your stomach."
Ten minutes ago, he was completely opposed to me. Now, he's placing a big shrimp on my plate and pushing me to eat.
"Are you sure you're treating me?" he asks again, despite already taking another bite of crispy pork leg.
If I were in my usual mood, I'd probably say something he wouldn't want to hear like, If I'm not treating you, can you even afford it? However, I stay quiet and pick up my utensils to start eating.
At first, when I waited for him outside his faculty building, I admitted to myself that it was foolish. Someone like me, waiting for someone in front of their building? I didn't know which room he was in, when he'd come out, or anything at all. All I could do was stand there silently, waiting. I didn't even know if he'd be willing to talk to me.
Since the last time I spoke with you, I have realized just how disgracefully I behaved.
If I were him, I wouldn't want to engage with me either. However, that apology note has kept me standing still, and what stuns me the most is... no matter how much he might despise me, he tells me that he will believe what I say.
Had it been me a month ago, I wouldn't have hesitated to use him. Now though, those single-lidded eyes staring at me, the way he challenges me, and even his angry outbursts—they make it impossible for me to deceive him.
No, that's not right... I cannot bring myself to do it.
I cannot bear it if he ends up hating me so much that he wouldn't believe me anymore.
So, he has no idea how relieved I feel that he agrees to get in the car with me. Even though he firmly refuses to have dinner with me, when I remind him...
"You're the one who said I owed you an apology."
"Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I wrote it myself. But hey you, someone like you? Apologizing to me? You—Khun-chai above it all—who has never even dirtied his shoes on the ground, apologizing to me? That's absurd. I don't believe it."
"Well, you'll have to, because I'm going to treat you to an apology dinner."
"No way. I'm not letting you throw money in my face!"
He folds his arms, his voice hard as he glares at me with those single-lidded eyes, challenging me, until I shake my head.
"An apology dinner isn't the same as throwing money around."
"What's the difference? Don't you dare think for a second that your money can buy me! No matter how much you offer, I will never become your tool to hurt Ai'Ae and Ai'Pete. Engrave that in your skull."
I don't feel too happy about hearing the name of that Thai Commoner either, especially the way this guy overprotects him. At first, I was sure it was because I despised their delusional self-righteousness, but...
Now, I'm starting to wonder if my issue with Khaen talking about Pete's romantic partner is because of something else altogether.
"You said you'd believe me."
However, I'm still me, Tinn Metthanun, the one who knows exactly what to do to get what I want. Because as soon as I finish speaking, he freezes, turning to look at me with distrust. You said you'd believe me if I told the truth. Well, now I'm telling the truth—I'm going to treat you to an apology dinner.
"B-but you always trick me!"
When he hesitates like he's unsure, it makes me smile easily. So, I tell him again.
"This time, I'm telling the truth."
He goes quiet for a moment before speaking in a softer tone.
"Fine, I'll believe you."
Why is it that even though I've met so many beautiful women—people who would easily follow whatever I say—just hearing him reply uncertainly, but still agreeing to believe me, makes me smile in a way I never expected? Worse yet, I can't deny that his expression is inexplicably attractive.
"This one's delicious too. Smile!" His voice pulls me back to the present, and I look at him again, just as he stuffs a huge bite of rice into his mouth.
"Why did you ask Pete for my number?"
Cough, cough! "N-no!" Cough, cough! I frown slightly as he starts choking and spitting out his rice, so I hand him a napkin while he coughs, sputters, and waves his hands around in frantic denial.
But... It's earnest and unpretentious.
"N-no way! I didn't ask! Not at all, not really!" With how suspicious he looks, I would be a fool to believe him.
"Pete told me," I say plainly, the simple sentence making him wipe his mouth and try to avoid my gaze as much as possible.
He coughs to clear his throat. This behavior is definitely not shyness; it resembles an attempt to escape responsibility more than anything. I have to ask again.
"What did you say?"
"Because it's you," He replies, and I narrow my eyes as he stammers on.
"Well, you... you always confuse me with your nonsense, whether it's real or fake. I've been thinking about it, and I was wrong to insult you by saying nobody would be your friend. Even though I did think it secretly." He lowers his voice at this point, before continuing with his usual nonstop chatter that I've started to get used to.
"So, I've been sitting here thinking. I spoke too harshly. Even if you're a jerk for tricking me, I don't have the right to insult you like that. I was going to call to apologize, but then I thought if I called, you'd just insult me again, saying something like I'm a fool or something along those lines. But I've come here now, and I just realized I could leave a note instead. It's not like I can meet you in person…"
I listen to him ramble on and on. He could have made his point clear in just a few words, yet instead of feeling annoyed, what strikes me most is that he feels no shame for what he did.
He wrote me an apology letter. He admits he wrote it and tells me everything.
I ask him next, "Why did you tell Pete not to give me your number?"
He answers readily, "Because I don't want you to call me back and insult me about how your fancy car has a piece of paper stuck to it that a dog wouldn't touch... that's all." He confesses, but his hands don't stop eating. So, I...
Grab
"What the hell? What are you doing grabbing my hand?" He looks up at me the moment I reach out to stop him from shoving food into his mouth.
I have to ask with a serious tone, "Can I have your number, please?"
Snap.
His eyebrows almost tie themselves in a bow.
"I won't give it to you, and let go of my hand! I'm going to eat!"
"Khaen?" I hold his hand firmly, calling him in a low, commanding voice.
"No, I'm not giving it to you. I'm not afraid of you. I won't be scared no matter what you threaten me with. So, I! Won't! Give it!"
"What if I'm not threatening you?"
"You're clearly threatening me!"
"I'm not threatening you... I'm asking nicely." I tell him in a softer voice.
Thud.
He goes quiet, looking at me as if he can't believe his ears, before shaking his head vigorously.
"You're asking me nicely?"
"Please..." He stares at me, as if evaluating whether to believe me.
I stare back at him, and just as he is about to respond, I can't help but call his name.
"Please... Khaen-ta-lup."
He freezes—really freezes—his cheeks starting to turn red. The flush spreads across his face and neck. Others might think he is embarrassed because I called him by that name in this tone, but it's not because of that...
Whoosh.
He raises his middle finger at me, clenching his teeth.
Perspective - Khaen (Khaen-ta-lup)
Odd, right? Extremely odd.
This is my thought as I scoop vanilla ice cream into my mouth while looking at the spoiled demon-spawn Khun-chai across from me, who is drinking coffee after the meal.
Wow, you're so handsome. I'm entirely annoyed.
"I thought only crazy people drank coffee after a meal."
Stop! Don't say that about me behind my back. My family doesn't drink coffee after meals. Am I crazy? Why would anyone end a meal with something bitter?
This time, he turns to look at me and asks, "Then what do you eat?"
"After a meal, it has to be dessert, right? Oh, or fruit. That's what most people eat." I reply confidently.
Families everywhere eat like this. However, what surprises me is…
"Can I have the menu, please?"
"Aren't you full yet?" I ask in disbelief after four dishes and a bowl of rice (let's forget that I ate more than three-quarters of it) are completely gone, and he still has the nerve to order something else.
Then he doesn't answer my question. Instead, he flips to the dessert page.
"No fruit?" It turns to ask the staff-person, who looks clearly confused.
"No, the restaurant doesn't have fruit as dessert. How about I recommend some Thai sweets, like sala loy kaew..."
"I want fruit. Please take care of it for me." Tinn says to the waiter.
"But..."
I swear that Ai'Tinn stares at him intensely, so much that I almost help the staff member. If it weren't for that staff member taking two steps back.
"Please wait a moment."
It works!?!
"Ai'Tinn, you must be unhinged—really unhinged—what the hell? If you want to eat fruit that badly, just buy from a cart outside for ten baht, damn it. Power trip, huh? What about..." I would keep talking as I usually do if it weren't for him smoothly interjecting.
"I just want to eat what you're eating."
"Huhhhh" I can only make a face of disbelief.
So, he wants to eat fruit because of what I said?
"Wait, wait. I think you're acting strange today."
Unusual, definitely. Outlandish as hell. Usually, every word he says makes me want to punch him, but why is he acting so good this time? My brain, as tiny as a pea, whispers that... Tinn is indulging me... or is he?
Tinn replies, "What do you mean?"
"I don't know, but it's strange—really strange. Ever since you called me endearing, I've been suspicious. Are you sure you didn't mess with Ai'Pete and then get punched by Ai'Ae, messing up your brain or something?" I ask.
I'm getting paranoid now. I remember well, the last time he acted like this, he fooled me so bad I felt like a complete idiot.
Yeah, come to think of it, could he really be a sad Khun-chai who's just deprived of affection?
"What does this have to do with that Thai Commoner?" Tinn's tone is oddly sharp.
"Whatever, if it's not related, then it's not related."
I shrug and focus on my dessert to relieve the stress. Oh, and don't ask if I'm not going back to study. Geez, I have to relax to the max, right? A clear mind helps me study better. (And no, I don't fall asleep while reading, I swear!)
"So, are you going to give me your number or not?"
"No."
Why should I? I still don't trust him enough not to use me to mess with Ai'Ae and Ai'Pete.
"Is that so?" he replies, just as the huge plate of fruit (which I swear the owner sent out as some kind of joke) is set in front of him.
"Khaen-ta-lup."
Whip!
"Looking for your dad or something…"
I almost shout that at him, ready to curse him out loud, if it weren't for the fact that he has a small fork in his hand, stabbing a piece of cantaloupe.
"Alright then." Since he isn't calling me, I shrug it off and turn my attention to the variety of fruit on the plate. I spear a piece of pineapple and follow it up with another bite of ice cream.
"Khaen-ta-lup is sweet, you know."
Gulp.
I glance over at him, seeing him chew the orange fruit, ready to lose interest. If it weren't for...
"Khaen-ta-lup is really soft," I start to feel strange, so I stare at the guy who pops another piece into his mouth, telling myself not to pay attention, but...
"Khaen-ta-lup is delicious, you know."
"Uh... yeah, yeah, if it's delicious, then just eat it already."
Yeah, if it's delicious, just eat it. What's with calling my name with every bite you take?
I scratch my head, feeling even stranger. I never thought this demon-kin would have the humor to joke about my name with the fruit he's eating because each word he says sounds like a compliment. If he insults me, I'm sure he'll connect me with food somehow.
Then, the strangest part that leaves me frozen is this sentence:
"I think I'm starting to like Khaen-ta-lup."
I freeze. I'm an idiot. I can't keep up. But the important thing is, why am I suddenly feeling embarrassed?
Are you talking about the cantaloupe in your mouth, or about Ai'Khaen sitting there, eating ice cream?
Even though I'm the type to ask anything I'm curious about, this time I think it's better not to ask. Something in my mind tells me that if I ask, I'll definitely get an answer I don't want to hear.
Scratching sound.
I scratch my head harder and turn back to my dessert, even though the smile of this bad-tempered guy makes me feel… odd inside.
I really don't understand Ai'Tinn at all.
~~~
"Are you really not going to give me your number?"
"Eh, you can try asking all you want, but I'm not giving it to you! I'm already annoyed. If I say no, it means no! No matter what, it's not going to happen!" I don't even know why I let myself walk along with him. Maybe it's because the bill for the food we shared was enough to cover snacks for me for half a month. Then, just as I arrive at his car, he asks me this question again.
"Is that so?" He only responds with that while unlocking the car, until I'm about to part ways with him here.
"Okay, then I'm leaving."
"Wait a minute." If it weren't for him calling out to me first, he wouldn't have bent down to grab something from his car.
"I'm leaving this for your mother."
Why are you giving this to my mom?
"To my mom?" I don't know; I have to ask.
"Um, this is for your younger sister."
I can't see what kind of bag it is until Ai'Tinn walks around the car to hand it to me. At first, I only see a gift bag with the letters MCM on it, which makes me furrow my brow. What is it? Chocolate? But is it too big? What kind of chocolate comes in a bag big enough to fit in a backpack?
Until I see another bag printed with GUCCI, that's when my eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.
I don't know what M\&M (?) is, but I do know the origin of my dog's name. Gucci and all that, and there's no way Ai'Tinn is going to give my mom something in a Gucci gift bag to hold curry in!
"Here, take it."
"Hey! No way! I don't want it! Why should I? No!!!" I'm shouting but have to stop in my tracks.
"I'll trade it for your number."
Grab.
Click.
"Fucking shit!!!" Don't think I'm happy that he's offering me a branded item in exchange for my phone number.
I grab his collar with both hands and push him hard against his beautiful Porsche. I yell at him, furious, my blood boiling.
"I'm not someone you can throw money at, you know!!!"
I'm angry—angry enough that my hands shake. I never thought I could be this angry at someone in this lifetime.
I'm such a fool. I have fallen for Tinn's words too many times. This is the second time I've let him soften my heart. The first time, he scolded me for being foolish enough to believe him. Now, the second time, he throws money at me, and it spills over to my mother and sister. A person like him wouldn't want my number to show off unless he has some ulterior motive.
I'm not his target. He must be planning something with Ai'Ae or Ai'Pete. Otherwise, why would he spend tens of thousands on me?
"I'll let you know—no matter how much money you pile in front of me, even if it's a million, I will never hurt my friends. I don't understand how Ai'Pete can stand being friends with someone like you. He's rich, but he's never thrown money at me once. Yes, I'm poor. I can't afford to eat meals that cost three thousand like you, but I have my dignity. I can't be bought with money. I will never betray my friends. So take your shitty gifts back. I don't want them!"
I shout loudly. I don't care who passes by. I just want him to know that someone like me can't be bought with money, even if my hands feel short from the sadness.
I'm crazy for thinking that if Tinn lacks warmth, as he once said, I'd want to be his friend. Because right now, even if his mother was raped to have him, or if he was drugged by his brother in some cliché novel plot, I will never care for someone who devalues me with money!
"You're misunderstanding…" As Tinn remains still for just a moment—only a moment—while he's holding my hand that's gripping his collar.
"What the hell am I misunderstanding now?!"
"I'm not planning to hurt Pete."
"Then why the hell are you throwing money at me? What do you want from me!?!" I demand.
I shake his collar again, even though he's gripping my hand tightly. I'm so angry I feel like I might faint, but at least I can shout at him.
"I'm not throwing money at you."
He remains calm—too calm, which only angers me more.
"Then what the hell is this? Are you trying to throw money at me using your bags of gifts? Admit it, you really are throwing money at me!?!"
Grab.
This time he tightens his grip on my hand, pushing me back a bit, but I don't yield. Now he's leaning his face closer to mine, staring into my eyes. His gaze is something I don't understand when he says…
"I'm actually trying to court you."
"What...what did you just say!?!"
I'm stunned, my eyes wide open, nearly bulging out of their sockets, and my mouth is moving before my brain processes what's happening.
Wait, what did he just say? Did I hear that wrong...courting...what the hell does that mean!?!
While I'm still in shock, he pulls my hand away from his collar and presses it against my chest instead, still staring at me without breaking eye contact.
"I apologize for the reason behind giving you a gift. I clearly feel terrible for only knowing how to connect like this. You might think this is an insult, but I thought you would be happy since I see how much you love your mother and sister... I really didn't know if you would accept it or if you would even look at me, but the reason why... is that I want to court you."
What the hell is this!!!
I can only think of one word as I open my mouth, gaping at him like a clueless child, just to hold his hand tightly. My brain has gone dead since he said he couldn't think of any other way to connect besides giving a gift.
Really, Ai'Tinn? What the hell does courting mean? What kind of bizarre courtship is this?
"I read it as... um..."
My mind is completely scattered, and while he challenges me, I jump at him. But he holds back this time...
"I'm going home." I push his hand back, yank my own away, and... just like that, I wave goodbye and jump onto the bus.
"Hey, Nong, are you okay?"
"I don't want anything. No, Older Brother. It's nothing." I must be in shock because as soon as I git in the car, I stand frozen on the step while the attendant comes to ask why I'm not reacting.
I let myself flop down on the seat, but ever since I got into the car, my heart hasn't returned to normal.
A guy tried to court me.
Yeah, I tell myself COURTED BY A GUY.
Everything echoes loudly in my mind.
Moreover, he's Ai'Tinn.
Yeah, he's that Ai'Tinn Metthanun.
This time, I lower my head, using both hands to cradle my temples, muttering to myself over and over again. I widen my eyes, staring at the worn floor of the bus. If I weren't wearing my student uniform, they would probably think I'm crazy.
WTF! Am I being courted by a guy!?!
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