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SGRA Chapter 30.1: Even I Have a Heart, Háap 4...

Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
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Perspective Ruthless

I admit that that-brat Moo is quite lucky.

Last time, I was fully determined that I would get him no matter what. But instead, it turned out that on the many days my Chao-nai was away, he clung to his Chao-nai like a gecko on a wall, not giving me any opening to do anything. I had to return home feeling extremely irritated. The more happy and content my Chao-nai and Nai Yai seemed together, the more intensely irritated I became.

I swore it out loud then....I will definitely get you next time, Nai.

Next time, I must succeed.

It is a thought where I myself do not know what I must do when I actually meet him, but... this brat looks so despondent he is pitiable.

"Stay here for now, Moo. Once Âi Gok gets his affairs in order, he'll probably come to pick you up," my Chao-nai comforts him, even patting his head. But he only curls up into a smaller ball. Both of his eyes are deeply red, stained with teardrops. From what I can gather, this brat's Chao-nai ran away from home and was afraid he wouldn't see him, so he left him with my Chao-nai.

His manner makes me unable to do anything to him.

Right now, his white face is even paler, as if he hasn't slept. His eyes are red, his nose is red, his body shakes because he is holding back sobs almost the entire time.

"Hic... Chao-nai... Chao-nai, don't abandon Moo... don't abandon me, Ná...."

I hear him mumbling in an extremely soft voice, until I myself... cannot be ruthless to him.

Right now, I move to sit beside him, and he still doesn't twitch, just lies there curled up, crying pitifully with hiccupping sobs, until I decide to place my hand on his soft head, touch his beautiful silver ears, stroking them hoping to help him relax. This time, he doesn't flee. He lifts his face to look at me, his eyes full of tears.

"Phîi Ruthless... Chao-nai... Chao-nai is going to abandon... Moo... Chao-nai said he... wouldn't return home anymore..."

I do not say anything, but listen to him stammeringly tell me, and then I raise my hand to wipe away his stray tears. "Moo is scared... scared he won't see Chao-nai anymore... Chao-nai... was crying... very heavily... Chao-nai said that..... the people in that house... are heartless-persons... Chao-nai is going to go live with Phîi... hic... Pong... but what about Moo... what about... Moo... is Chao-nai going to abandon... me... Waaahhhhh," he cries with such hiccupping sobs that his small frame shakes, and that also makes me....

Snap

I reach out to hug him tightly around the neck, pulling him close to my chest, at a time when I modulate my voice to be the softest I can possibly make it.

"No one is abandoning you, don't worry. Your Chao-nai will come to pick you up soon."

"Is... that true... true, Há... Hic... Hic..." He seems to have completely forgotten what I threatened him with, because he is lifting his face to meet my eyes, asking like a child seeking reassurance. Even though I do not know if his Chao-nai will actually come to pick him up, I... do not want to see this brat cry.

I used to think he was adorably stupid, but seeing him cry like this, my heart cannot calm down at all.

I want to see his cute smile like when he acts spoiled towards humans more. So I pull him against my chest, patting his head lightly.

"Ugh, you can stop crying now. Your eyes are red, they're not blue anymore."

"Moo... Moo can't stop crying... can't do it," he tells me in a trembling voice, shaking his head sharply, still wiping the tears from his face back and forth, until I hold his small frame even tighter than before.

"Moo wants... to stop crying... but Moo is scared... Moo is very, very scared."

I am not good at comforting people; on the contrary, I am the one who makes others cry. Therefore, I do not know how to comfort this brat. I only know that I cannot leave him alone, and I can only keep stroking his head. I know it is not the time, but I definitely feel good when he also leans his head in to nestle against me.

Lying together like this, he looks noticeably smaller than me.

"Chao-nai... come back, Ná... come back... Moo misses Chao-nai... Ná.... misses..."

I do not say anything, still stroking his head continuously, feeling the teardrops one after another that fall onto my body, while the thought of making this brat my own almost completely disappears. I only know that I want to stop these tears.

What the fuck is wrong with me! Why do I have to worry this much!

I ask myself, but I keep comforting him until this brat falls asleep with tears still on his face. I stroke his whole head, both ears, very gently, keep dabbing his tears away, looking at his disheveled face with a feeling that is strangely different.

"You look quite loving together," my Chao-nai comes to look, then turns to tell me, until I myself want to shake my head, want to say it is not true, someone like me, would I love this brat?

"Take care of Âi Moo for a bit then," my Chao-nai says only that. Today, he probably will not separate us. As for me, I also have no thought of doing anything to the youth. I can only lie still, looking at his white face, with only the matter my Chao-nai said echoing all throughout my head.

Love... is that it?

So I myself can love someone other than my Chao-nai, is that it?

Blue eyes, I think as I fall asleep, the last thing I see being... the exceptionally beautiful face of that brat.

Perspective Moo Moo

Moo wants to go home, Há.

Last night, a huge incident happened at home, Há. Chao-nai argued with his Phîi. I had only seen Chao-nai's Phîi once when I was little, and then never saw him again. This time, he came back and just kept scolding-scolding-scolding my Chao-nai. Chao-nai himself also shouted back, until the noise echoed loudly throughout the house. But Chao-nai lost, Há.

Chao-nai's Phîi ordered Chao-nai to go upstairs to his room.

Chao-nai came back and hugged me and cried, said he would go find Phîi Pong, said his Phîi was both despicable-person and heartless-person, hurting his Nong's feelings. I did not know how to comfort him, could only lick his tears until Chao-nai fell asleep.

But then, when Chao-nai woke up, it was very late. Chao-nai packed clothes, Há. Packed everything, stuffing-stuffing-stuffing it into a bag, including my things too. Chao-nai said he would not live in this house anymore, would not see his Phîi anymore. Chao-nai would go find Phîi Pong, Há. For me, Chao-nai can go anywhere, if Chao-nai takes me along. But...

"I will not let you go stay with Âi Graph. Right now it's nothing but trouble. I can't take you with me. And I can't leave you at home because I've left. I'm not going back. If you stay with Âi Graph, I can come see you anytime."

Moo might be dim-wit, Há, but at that moment Moo understood... Moo is about to be abandoned.

I was very scared, very, very scared, when Chao-nai led me outside the house. But I did not dare cry, because Chao-nai said that if I love Chao-nai, I must keep my mouth completely shut. Until Chao-nai led me walking out of the alley, hailed a car, and came to Phîi Graph's house again. I wanted to go with Chao-nai. I tried to hug Chao-nai tightly, but Chao-nai peeled me off and handed me over to Phîi Graph.

"I'll come find you later, Ná."

Chao-nai said that, but Chao-nai was crying. That means Chao-nai was lying, right?

I do not know what I should think anymore. I want to be smarter than this, so I can understand what the things my Chao-nai says mean. But I do not understand. I can only cry, Há, cry a lot, cry a lot, in case Chao-nai takes pity and comes back to take me along. But... Chao-nai did not come.

The whole night I cried, with Phîi Ruthless by my side.

Right now, I do not care what Phîi Ruthless will do to me. I care only that I want to see Chao-nai. Even though in my heart I feel better, Há, that Phîi Ruthless is here for company.

Phîi Ruthless stroked my head all night, hugged me all night, until I accidentally fell asleep without knowing when.

I woke up again and it was already morning. But Chao-nai still had not come. And I cannot eat anything, even though Phîi Ruthless orders me to eat it. Right now I am not scared, Há. I am not scared of anything at all, except being abandoned. But then, I get hope!

Phîi Graph says he will take me outside!

Moo is going home! Going home!

I am happy. I have hope. I hurriedly jump into the car. I do not care if Phîi Ruthless comes along, as long as I get to go home. But... it is not, Há.

"In case you're in a better mood. Âi Gok says he likes bringing him here."

Here..... a spa, Há.

I might come here often with Chao-nai, but it is not home. Chao-nai is not here. I look left and right and do not see him. I do not want to go in at all. But I get dragged in, with Phîi Ruthless following along too.

I know all eyes are looking at Phîi Ruthless. Many people look with envy. But I do not need it. I just want to go home.

"In another hour, I'll come pick you up," Phîi Graph tells the young female staff and then leaves me here. But I want to go home, not here!!!

"Don't make a face like that. You'll get to go home soon," Phîi Ruthless might be comforting me, but it does not make me feel better, Há. I do not even care to listen. My gaze looks straight only at the exit outside. And because the swimming pool is in the outer part of the building, with only a fence preventing escape, I decide.

If Chao-nai doesn't come to get me... Moo will go back by himself!

I come here often, so I remember the way home. I will go home by myself, will surprise Chao-nai, make Chao-nai smile and then hug me tightly, praise me for being clever for remembering the way home.

Moo has decided.

I wait for the right moment, because I know the swimming teacher must go in to get equipment, so the moment the door opens...

Whoosh

"Yikes, oh no!" I do not care about the cries of the people here, Há. I run as fast as I can, use my two bare legs to run out of the spa. I remember that after coming out, I have to turn right. So I run as fast as I can, run at full speed. I will definitely get home, filled with the hope that I will see Chao-nai soon. But then...

Snap

"Stop right now, you crazy brat!!!"

The back of my neck gets yanked with full force, Há, until I almost fly away. I can only turn sharply to look behind me with wide eyes.

"Phîi Ruthless!!!"

"Just as I thought, you had to escape!" He says, sounding annoyed, still holding my shirt collar tightly, until I have to struggle.

"Let go, let Moo go! Moo wants to go home!!!" I both cry and struggle and kick Phîi Ruthless, but he does not flinch, still holds my shirt collar without letting go. But his ruthless face is looking displeased. His shining eyes look like he is absolutely furious with me. And

"Have you had enough yet, you crazy brat!!!"

Thud

Phîi Ruthless roars until I go completely still, Há, and my tears.... are about to flow.

"Moo just wants to go home, just wants to go home! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah"

"Sigh," Phîi Ruthless makes a face like he wants to scold me further, but his voice quiets down. He exhales heavily, telling me in a softened tone.

"You will definitely get to go home. But for now, go back to the spa first. By now everyone is in an uproar looking for you. Do you want my Chao-nai to be troubled too? If you disappear, my Chao-nai and your Chao-nai will definitely have a problem with each other." When Phîi Ruthless says this, I become crestfallen. I do not want anyone to be scolded or reprimanded, do not want them to argue either.

"But Moo..."

"Can't you stay with me?"

Thud

I fall silent again, because Phîi Ruthless is staring at my eyes steadily, then utters words that stun even me.

"Can I take care of you instead of your Chao-nai?"

I do not understand. I do not know why Phîi Ruthless says this, so I can only stand there with my mouth agape and my heart... is beating very hard, Há.

"Enough. I won't say it again. Let's go!" Phîi Ruthless is nice for only a brief moment. He says in a ruthless voice again, while yanking my shirt collar with full force, about to drag me back. But...

"Bloody fucking nuisance!"

I turn to look following Phîi Ruthless's gaze and find...

"Why do we have to run into infected ones right now, Wá!"

I might not have seen them before, but I know them... the crazy infected ones... and it is standing there drooling right in front of us!!!!

Perspective Ruthless

I knew from the start that this dim-wit brat would try to escape.

I saw it from the moment he looked at the door with shining eyes, and he probably had the stupid thought that if he just ran, he would reach home, not realizing at all that the distance covered by running on foot and by car are worlds apart. Therefore, I intended to stop him. But who would have thought this dim-wit would be faster than expected? The only thing I could do was jump over the fence and run after him.

Damn... Luckily, my physical strength is much greater, so catching up to him is not difficult. But what I did not want...

What the fuck did I say, Wá!?

It is a question that stuns even me, how I could ask it, even though I know how profound its meaning is. Luckily... this one is dim-wit.

Before he can understand my question, before he can understand why I suddenly want to take care of him, I will drag him back. But... the infected ones.

In front of me is a living creature that we all know we must be most careful of... a thin, emaciated body where skin is stretched over bones, with tattered clothes, drool dripping, eyes unfocused almost showing the whites, indicating it is severely infected and its senses are completely destroyed. It definitely will not understand anything I say now.

It no longer knows what class I am, what class it is. It will not listen to my commands.

The infected one, baring its fangs at me, staggers closer, until I...

"Hide behind me. Don't go near it."

I am still fast, but this brat is much slower than me. So I push him to hide behind my back, while I step forward to confront the person blocking the way.

"Get out of the way!" I snarl. But...

"Grah!!!!" It instead bares its fangs at me, crouching down as if to pounce, but... it is not aiming for me.

"Shit-lizard, damn it!!!"

Crash!

I shove the little one's shoulder with full force, until he cries out, flung to hit the ground by the roadside. But I have no time to pay attention to him right now. What I do is strike out with full force, hitting the infected one's neck, until it is sent flying in another direction. Then, I take a fighting stance.

I have taken the preventative injection, but that does not mean I can risk being bitten by it.

"Moo! Run back to the spa! Quick!!!"

I shout to the little one who is slowly pushing himself up. I see from the corner of my eye that he is frozen, not knowing what to do, until I have to shout an order.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!"

"Good Lord, Wôoi!" This bloody fucking nuisance will not let go easily. Its destroyed nerves make it unafraid of anything, and it is about to charge at me again, until I have no time to pay attention to the one behind me. I do not know if he has run back or not, can only hope he will obediently do as I command. But...

"Phîi Ruthless!"

Suddenly, he calls my name at the top of his voice, causing me to lose focus, turn to look, and

That....

Crash!!!

I am caught off guard as the emaciated body charges, slamming into me until I tumble to the ground, and it straddles me, pinning me down, until I have to try to use my hands to push its face away, looking at the fangs with drool dripping down, filled with extreme hatred.

I am not at a dead end against just this one piece of shit!

Crash!!!

Again, I kick it with full force, shaking it off until the infected one's body slams against the wall of a house by the road. And at that moment, I have no time to turn back and look at the result of my work. I just get up and run to grab the crazy brat who refuses to go anywhere, then run with all my might, almost carrying him floating back to the safe place.

In that second, something tells me... I will protect this brat!!

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