Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
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Perspective - Pete (Pitchaya)
At this moment, I should feel embarrassed for expressing how much I want to be with Ae. Instead, I find myself at a loss for words because Ae is kissing me. His mouth and tongue are touching mine, even slipping inside, forcing me to try to breathe through my nose as I take in his sensation.
Ae's kiss is warm—no, it's hot. It keeps getting hotter, just like my body, which is incredibly heated.
"Ah." I flinch slightly as Ae's hand slips under my night shirt.
His hand is rough, and as he caresses my body, it sends shivers through me, causing me to let out soft moans. Then he pulls away and uses both hands to unbutton my night shirt completely.
Flick.
He then pulls his tank top over his head. This simple action makes my cheeks flush. Now, I see Ae's physique clearly before my eyes. Although I've seen him change shirts before, it's nothing like this moment, with him hovering over me, looking into my eyes as I lay breathless on the bed.
Ae is a very fit guy. His height doesn't detract from his athletic build at all. I can't help but reach out to touch him.
"Hard," I whisper softly.
His muscles are incredibly firm. Just a light press reveals that he's completely different from my lanky frame, and my fingers glide from his chest down to his stomach.
Grab.
But then Ae catches my hand, sliding it lower.
"This is harder than ever," he says in a low voice as he pulls my hand down to touch that part of him.
It makes my face flush, my body feels hot all over, and I can only sense the heat radiating from him, transferring to me. It's so firm, even though I know he just released in the bathroom, now it's hard again.
"Big," Ae tenses slightly as I stroke his member and the patch of hair above it, causing me to ask him, feeling incredibly shy, "Shall I use my mouth on it?"
Grab.
"Ah!!!" Before I can follow through with what I just said, Ae grabs my hand and pushes me back down, following closely to kiss me deeply on the lips.
Then he pulls away and says coolly, "If you keep teasing me, it'll hurt for sure!"
"Uh... h-huh..." I want to argue that I'm not teasing, but I don't get the chance to speak as he kisses my lips again.
Ae's hands slide from my waist up to my chest, rubbing up and down, sending chills through my body. I flinch completely when he—grabs my nipple.
"Uh, mmm..." Ae squeezes and kneads gently, not hard enough to hurt.
He alternates between squeezing and lightly flicking several times before pulling my pajama pants down to my ankles. Then he replaces his hands with his lips.
Ae is kissing me. His mouth trails from my neck down to my shoulders, then to my chest, stomach, and the tip of my member. The intense heat of his tongue and the moisture sends shockwaves throughout my body. I can only close my eyes tightly and breathe heavily.
Grab.
"Ugh!!!" I shut my eyes even tighter as a wave of pleasure hits my lower stomach.
Now, Ae's hand grips the middle of my shaft. He strokes it slowly while his mouth repeatedly kisses my stomach. Each lick makes me flinch, making me realize just how much I crave him.
“Ahh!!!!”
I didn’t think I would moan this loudly, but now Ae is using his mouth on me. When he takes me into his mouth the way my thing scrapes against the roof of his mouth makes me feel like I am going to die. My legs are gripping the bed tightly, my hands are holding the pillow, and my mouth can only moan.
It feels so good, so good that I am going to die.
“Ahh… uh… huh… ya.” I can only moan like that as I dissolve into pleasure.
I don't know when Ae pulls my legs apart, but when I come back to reality I look down and see that I am spreading my feet wide.
Ae now pulls his mouth away to use his hands on me and moves me so that he can see my backside, almost pinching my legs together.
Grab.
"Do you know how much your image is stuck in my mind?"
If he just held my knees together, I wouldn’t have bitten my lip so hard it hurt, but now he was using his fingers to touch the hole in my back, lightly spreading it, making my hair stand on end.
“Oh!” I gasp.
Ae looks up and asks me, “Are you washed here for me?”
My whole body is shaking now. When Ae lifts my hips up to place them on his lap, his fingers keep stroking my back opening until I can only turn my face away.
“Y-don’t rub like that, hiss… I… I feel… it,” I tell him in a soft voice, trying to hold back my strange moans. That makes Ae smile at me. His two hands push my hips up high.
“It makes me want to go in even more.” He tells me.
My whole body shivers, shaking all over when he lifts my hips up more until my legs are on his shoulders. Then he bends down to use his tongue on the opening he has been stroking.
“Huuuh!!!! O-oh… eh… ah… eh… don’t lick… ”
Even though I can’t see it, I feel his hot, moist tongue flicking back and forth against that hole. Every time his tongue touches me, I twist my hips uncontrollably. My panting becomes louder, and my two hands grip the pillow tightly. The tingling sensation also grows and runs through my body.
“Y-don’t lick… huh… uh… eh.”
However, the more I forbid him, the more it seems to encourage him, because Ae flicks his tongue back and forth before he slowly pulls away. Until my body, which was arched up, almost collapses onto the bed. I can only squint my eyes and look at him slowly.
"I'll be right back." He then tells me.
I can only open my eyes and look. I see him stepping quickly out of the room. I almost push myself up to look at him in confusion. Ae goes out for only a few seconds before coming back with something in his hand.
Smack.
"Spread your legs wide, Pete."
"What's that…?" I ask him in a panting voice when he comes to sit in front of me. He spreads his hand wide while his other hand is opening something that I can't see clearly at first.
Pop.
I hear him open it softly and see him pour it into his hand while Ae comforts me in a low voice.
"It might help you," he says, letting me know what he was going to do.
I lie down on the mattress, closing my eyes as I tense. It doesn't hurt. It won't hurt. Relax, Pete, relax; I tell myself.
The slick, cold touch presses against my backside again before I feel something start to slip inside.
"Does it hurt a lot?" Ae asks me uncertainly, while my whole body aches.
Still, I softly tell him no, shifting my legs wider apart. I try to take deep breaths, doing my best to relax.
It hurts, but not for long. Soon, I start to adjust, especially with the help of the lubricant. I can only pant heavily as I feel Ae's finger moving deeper inside me, then a second finger joins in.
"Umm...um..." I can only squint my eyes and look at him through my tears.
I see that he is just as stressed. Amazingly, that makes my pain less. When he inserts three fingers, I feel almost numb, as if I am getting used to something inserting in my back.
"Uh...Ae, kiss me..." I beg him, and he moves in as I ask.
He kisses me hard. His tongue is inserted as much as his fingers were inserted in me.
When Ae pulls away, he asks me in a hoarse voice that he shows that he can't hold back anymore. "Can I put it in yet?"
Grab.
"Yes...put it in...Ae, put it in." I hug him tightly, telling him in a trembling voice when he pulls his hand away.
I feel a sense of emptiness in my back passage.
"Wait a minute. I'll put on a condom first… Oh, shit!!!"
I know Ae isn't scolding me. He is scolding the condom he is trying to put on himself. His awkwardness didn't make me feel bad at all. On the contrary, thinking that it is his first time, and it's my first time. It makes me want it so much that my body trembles.
When he's finished taking care of himself, he moves to hug me again, kissing me softly while rubbing his penis against my back. The eyes that I love look into my eyes before....
Swoop.
"Big!!!"
Now I'm trembling all over. Pain like I've never felt before is radiating through my body. My hands grip Ae's shoulders tightly, biting my teeth on my lower lip. It feels like my body is being torn apart when he thrusts in.
I knew it would hurt, but I didn't think it would hurt this much.
"You... hack... does it hurt?" I can only hear his voice floating from far away as I grip his shoulders even tighter, trying to shake my head hard.
"Umm... huh... k..." I don't realize I am crying until I feel Ae's hand wiping my tears away, causing me to open my eyes to look at him.
Even though I can't see clearly in front of me, I know he is very worried about me, as much as torturing me. Right now I'm definitely squeezing him tightly, but I don't know how to relax.
Grab.
"Lkk... look at me. I want you, Pete... I need you."
Now Ae holds both of my cheeks and kisses me, hard, until I can barely catch my breath. His hands roam over my sweaty body, squeezing me to spread me apart, making the tightness open up as he pushes in slowly.
It hurts, but his gentle actions make me hold him tight, sobbing into my throat.
"I can... uh... I can."
I know that words are not believable at all when I keep crying, but I don't want Ae to stop. I keep clutching Ae's body, when he whispers in a trembling voice, "Ugh... it's all the way in... I'll do it slowly... slowly..."
I don't know if he's telling himself or me, but he starts moving. Ae isn't rushing, even though he could do it. Ae does it slowly, touching me slowly. At first it hurts, even though it's starting to numb, but after a while...
"Ahh!!!" I cry out unbearably when he hits me inside. The pain starts to change into other feelings. My body twitches. My two hands hug Ae's neck tightly as Ae begins to move in harder and harder several times.
"Ugh... Ae... Ae yes... Ah... There... There…" I can only moan in a trembling voice. When I feel Ae thrust into that spot again, I let out another cry. Even though it still hurts, it is more pleasurable now. It is pleasurable all over my body when he pulls out. Then he thrusts back in.
"Harder... can you?" His question makes me open my eyes and look at his face.
I realize just how hard Ae is trying to hold back, to avoid being too rough with me. Right now, Ae's face is drenched with sweat, his jaw clenched tight as he restrains his emotions.
Ae's expression seems as painful as the discomfort I'm feeling, and it makes me nod firmly. "Uh-huh. Y-yes... yes." As soon as I tell him that, Ae pulls himself out and thrusts all the way back in, making me moan.
"Uh... oh... ah... eh... eh... ahh..."
"Inside you... will make me die. Damn it... it's so good..."
Grab.
Suddenly, Ae grabs my hips and lifts them higher. Then he thrusts into me harder, making my whole body tremble. I can only grip his arm, which is braced beside my head. It doesn't hurt anymore—other sensations have almost entirely taken over.
"Hotter..."
Ae's is so hot, hot like fire when he rubs against my inner walls. When he thrusts in, it's hot, deep, and makes my whole body tingle, so much so that I beg him.
"More...harder...ok...uhh!!!!"
Now Ae is holding my dick as he thrusts in harder, so hard that I can hear the slapping sound of the bed. Now all I can do is stare at Ae's face as he straddles me, his face filled with happiness, his eyes staring only at me, my sweaty hair, my body that's all gone when our bodies rub against each other.
"Ahh...I can't...Ae, Ae, we...uhh..." I can only tell him in a trembling voice.
Grab.
Ae slides his hand over to hold mine tightly as he thrusts in harder. Then he leans down and kisses me hard.
"I can't take it anymore, I can't take it anymore..."
Swoop swoop.
G... uh... ahh!!! The final force that he thrusts inside me sends me to my destination until the warm liquid gushes out and stains both my and Ae's stomachs.
"You squeeze me, ugh... umm!!!!!" Ae says that when I feel his twitching inside me.
He stays still like that for several seconds, closing his eyes tightly, before slowly pulling himself out until I felt empty all over. Then he throws himself on me, who is breathing heavily.
"Hack, hack... hack"
The sound of our heavy breathing now echoes throughout the bedroom. Both of us pant, taking in deep breaths that make our chests rise and fall heavily. My eyes are tightly closed at this moment. My hand rests on Ae's sweat-damp hair. I can feel that Ae is holding me, his face buried against my neck.
Smooch.
I slowly crack my eyes open and see Ae pressing a heavy kiss to my cheek. Even though he's still panting, he smiles at me.
"Do you know, this is the best I've felt in my entire eighteen years of life."
What else could I do but blush furiously, unable to say a word? I quickly avert my gaze, fumbling as I mumble, "Same here... sir."
Even though it hurt at first, after that pain, I can honestly say I'd endure it however many times needed if he holds me like this. I end up burying my face into the pillow.
"Still hurting?" Ae's voice sounds concerned, but the way he lightly strokes my hip makes me shake my head into the pillow right away.
"Don't ask, sir." I mutter softly before...
"Heh heh." His quiet laugh surprises me, so I sneak a glance at him. Ae is grinning widely before he says, "You're so damn cute."
I don't understand what's cute about me, and part of me wants to be mad at him for laughing at me, but when Ae pulls me close by my shoulders and asks...
"Going to sleep?"
I nod quickly, and in a soft voice that even I can tell sounds pleading, I say, "Ae, please hold me."
Just saying it embarrasses me, but he's so sweet. Not only does he tighten his embrace around my tired shoulders, making my eyes droop, but he also says,
"Even if you didn't ask, I wouldn't let go of you."
Ah, Ae is practically daring me to be so happy that my chest is about to burst.
Perspective - Ae (Inthach)
I have never been this stressed in my entire life. Okay, it might just be making love, and if that fucking shit-lizard Pond overheard, he'd probably shrug and say it's easier than university entrance exams. I'd argue to death—it's not as easy as many people imagine for the first time. Ai'Pete probably doesn't know how… incredibly stressed I am.
Sure, maybe my emotions were running wild at that moment, too much to hold back, but I kept thinking that I might hurt Ai'Pete. Just yesterday, when I only put my fingers inside him, he looked like he was about to cry. And well… Mine isn't exactly… small.
At least it's a lot bigger than the three fingers I used to prepare him.
Do you know? Everything I did, I learned from the internet—every site. From tips on gay sex to, what was it? Oh, the steamy scenes from those novels girls love to read. At first, I didn't know, but they popped up, and I nearly raised my hand to cover my face out of sheer anxiety... Do girls really know more about this than guys, or am I just too clueless?
Every source though said the same thing—if I lose control, Ai'Pete will be the one who suffers.
So no one understands how hard it is for me to hold back from entering Ai'Pete like I do. Sweat pours down my body, and it feels like sheer torture having to take it slow. Seeing the pained look on Ai'Pete's face is what reminds me to stay calm.
Sure, I could enjoy it, but what would it mean if Ai'Pete only felt pain? We're boyfriends, lovers… partners, after all.
When I finally entered him… I can't even begin to describe it, but like I told Ai'Pete, it's the best I've felt in my entire eighteen years of life.
Hot, soft, tight... above all else, it's the look on Ai'Pete's face that tells me he's okay with our first time together.
Even as it ends, I feel the same happiness as the stress that evaporates from my heart.
I may not be done, but maybe it's not so bad.
Sigh.
I exhale softly while holding Ai'Pete's shoulders. Glancing at him, I see he's already buried his face in the pillow. Yet, I can't sleep. Even though our first time drained my energy, I still feel like…
It's not enough.
Don't be a fucking shit-lizard, Ae. You see how exhausted Ai'Pete is. I curse myself internally while staring at Ai'Pete's pale face.
His body is still warm, and I can't resist the urge to run my hand across his soft shoulders.
In the end, I shake my head, trying to push away my thoughts. I need to sleep because we have class early tomorrow. Every time I close my eyes, all I see is Ai'Pete, and it's definitely not his smile that comes to mind. It's what happened fifteen minutes ago, and I have to force myself to focus on something else.
What football match is on tonight? Where are we in the season? My favorite football player is... Oh, for fuck's sake!
Eventually, I open my eyes again. I feel sticky and gross, so I toss the blanket off. I think I should take a shower to wash away these lingering feelings. When I'm about to get up, I glance over at the person beside me and remember…
I'm uncomfortable. What about Ai'Pete?
That's when I quietly get out of bed, grab my pants, and put them on. I then walk over to pick up a box of tissues and pull the blanket off. Just as I'm about to reach for Ai'Pete…
"Ae… what are you doing?"
Gasp.
His voice makes me look up, and I see Ai'Pete staring at me with a tired expression. I glance down to find my hand hovering above his stomach.
"Are you still not sleeping? I just wanted to wipe you down. I thought you might not feel very comfortable." My voice sounds oddly nervous, even to myself, and that makes the naked person lying before me draw his legs together as if they are embarrassed. Pete gives a dry smile and mumble softly.
"I can’t sleep... uh... even though I thought I was tired. But when I actually try to sleep, I get excited, and then I can’t sleep. Also, I wanted to clean myself, but... I can’t get up." Pete says.
I just stare at Pete's face. I can’t tell how red it is because there’s only light from the window illuminating the room. I only know he is trying to avoid my gaze, prompting me to ask in an unintentionally strong voice.
"Are you in a lot of pain?"
"Well... a bit. It stings. But, um, could you pass me the tissues?" Pete says that while trying to turn away from my eyes.
Even though I’ve seen countless male bodies before—of course, I’m on the football team, and we’ve all been naked while changing—it feels different. Pete’s attempts to hide make me... feel something.
I sit still next to the bed, not looking at him as he cleans himself. I just bend down to pick up the pants that have fallen on the floor and hold them. When Pete places the used tissues on the bedside table along with the tissue box, I hand it back to him while trying hard not to look his way.
What the hell is wrong with you, Ae?
"Uh... Ae, is something wrong?" My Khun-chai asks me uncertainly.
I just wave him off, saying it’s nothing, but my eyes stray to him as he puts on his pants. I focus my gaze on the vase on the other side of the room.
Who said that once you’ve done it, you’d lose interest? Why, for me, does doing it only make it...
"Just go to sleep. I’ll be back." My voice is firm as I pull the blanket over him, prompting Pete to ask immediately.
"Where are you going, Ae?" When I look down, I can tell he's being affectionate.
Pete's eyes remind me of an innocent child's, but they’re more captivating because Pete is trying so hard to hide it. Yet tonight, after everything we’ve been through, I see it more clearly than ever, and it makes me sigh.
Pete's face falls, but I glance down at my pants, and he follows my gaze.
"Or is it…?" He says.
"Yeah!" I raise my hand to ruffle my hair roughly, feeling like some sort of wild beast that has intruded into the room of my Khun-chai. Since the football shorts are thin, how could it not be noticeable once there's a reaction? Of course, Ai'Pete's eyes go wide at that.
"I'll be right back," I say only that, intending to move away from the side of the bed.
"Ae!" But then Ai'Pete calls out to me, making me raise an eyebrow slightly.
He hesitates, and then, a sentence I never thought would come out of the mouth of someone as shy as him is spoken aloud.
"I... can handle it."
"Hey, do you even realize what you're saying?"
"I... I do." He hides himself under the blanket but still peeks out to tell me.
It makes me feel like the lump of flesh in my chest is beating in an odd way for some reason. I want to, but can he handle it?
"Can you handle it? Just now..."
"It's fine. Really, I'm fine." Pete insists.
Maybe I’m possessed by some damned demon because I climb back onto the bed. My eyes fixate steadily on his sharp gaze, seeing it flicker. That draws me closer to his cheek, little by little.
"This time, I might not stay as calm as earlier."
"It's... it's okay."
His answer seems to make me lose my senses.
So, from my initial plan of just once, I start again. The pleasure I feel doesn't allow me to stop after the second time, either.
It seems I need to call Ai'Pond tomorrow to ask him to check my name for me. I might get teased, but I don't care right now. I want to focus on Ai'Pete first.
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