Content Warning: This work is intended for mature (NC17) audiences. If you are younger, please kindly leave this site.
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Perspective - Pete (Pitchaya)
At this moment, I can only jump in shock. My heart drops to my ankles. One hand of mine is still in my pants, while the other is still in my shirt. My body starts to tremble with fear that Ae will come in.
"I'm thirsty. I want some water," Ae shouts from outside, making me stammer a reply.
"Y-yes, you can have some! Here!" I want to stop myself, but knowing that Ae is standing just on the other side of the wall makes my feelings intensify. The hand that should pull away from my pants instead grips it even harder until I accidentally let out a moan.
"Are you okay? Your voice sounds strange."
What should I do? Just hearing Ae shout makes me feel even more, to the point of embarrassment.
Stop it, Pete. You have to stop now.
"N-no, I'm not… not at all," I say, but my hand doesn't stop. My legs are growing weaker as the waves of desire keep rising.
"Hey, your voice sounds weird. Are you crying or something?"
"N-no… I'm really not… really not," I say, but I can't help but add, "Ah!"
Hurry up Pete, faster, finish already. I kept telling myself as I try to release my desire as soon as possible, but my body gets hotter, my heart beats faster, fear floods me as well as some excitement.
What should I do... I want you to suck me, Ae, I think.
"What's wrong with you? Open the door for me!" Ae's voice comes from outside.
"N-No… It's okay, really. It's okay." No matter how excited I am, I don't want him to see my pitiful state.
I don't want him to know that just seeing him in the room with me makes me want it so bad that I have to masturbate like this.
So I say it again. "Hey… Don't come in."
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes… Yes."
I heard his footsteps stepping away. As I collapse to the bathroom floor, my pants are now rolled down to my hips while my shirt is pulled up above my waist. I can only look up and lean against the wall. As I let out a hot breath, I imagine someone else touching me.
How many times have I done this? Even though I feel guilty, I can't stop myself.
"Ahh… It's close… A little… A little…"
Bang bang bang!!!
I am startled. "Oh my god, what's wrong with you? You're definitely not okay. Your voice is weird. Open the door for me now!" The person in front of the room has come back and is banging on the door loudly.
I can only turn around and look. Then I just… Notice....I didn't lock the bathroom door.
"Oh, don't..."
Crack.
Too late, the doorknob is turning and the door is pushed in. At that moment, I couldn't do anything except panic.
"Pete, you...!!!"
Ae seems to say something to me, but as soon as he looks down and sees me, his eyes widen. His hand grips the doorknob tightly. While I am feeling the embarrassment of the heat that is creeping up my cheeks, Ae is looking at my face, looking at me, and looking at my lower body that I still haven't consciously put into my pants.
"Don't look, don't look!!!" As I say this, my senses return again and I can only curl up together.
I use both of my hands to cover my body as much as I can, burying my face into my knees in the utmost embarrassment. Ae sees it, sees me masturbating while he is in the room.
"Are you touching yourself?"
I don't know what to say, except to hug my knees even tighter. If I could, I would transform into bacteria and disappear into the bathroom floor. My teeth bite my lower lip tightly.
"Pete," He says, but I don't answer him.
All I can do is close my eyes tightly, not wanting to know anything. I don't want to know how he was looking at me, what he was thinking about me.
Grab.
"ARGH."
Swipe.
Ae's hands are gripping my shoulders tightly, but I still shake my head hard. I definitely don't dare look up at him, and that makes him speak even more sternly.
"I told you to look at me."
I don't know if I am afraid of that tone of voice, but I slowly look up at him, my face burning with excitement. Ae gently grabs my cheek.
"You... masturbate because of me, right?"
I would have looked away if it weren't for Ae holding my cheek tightly. "I... I... am..." I couldn't say how much I wanted just imagining him, and that makes Ae lean down, and he says something I didn't understand.
"You're cute… too cute."
"I'm not cute at all, Ae. I'm shameless. I'm doing this even though you are in the room. I..."
"I don't want you to talk anymore. I want to kiss you." Just as I try to argue with a trembling voice, Ae interrupts me and still holds my mouth.
Ae's eyes stare at me. Then he leans down to touch my lips. Of course, I am lost to his touch every time.
Now, Ae is kissing my mouth softly until my whole body trembles. His hands are pulling my hands that have been trying to hug myself tightly. Then he pulls away, pressing down again and again until I was going crazy. Ae's mouth… Now, Ae's tongue is touching mine, inserting into my mouth, touching my tongue until it becomes one. The saliva we exchange is getting sweeter and sweeter unbelievably.
"Umm... oh..." I let out a groan in my throat. My two hands grip Ae's shirt tightly. Lost in the sweet kiss until my mind drifts away. I come to my senses when Ae slowly pulls away.
"I... take it off."
Is it wrong that his request is making me die of mortification? I can only nod, watching his hands unbutton my shirt. Ae's hands move over my body, which is shaking. I let him pull my shirt off, and he pulls the pants back down around my hips.
Off.
"Ah... Ae, don't look!"
I quickly use both hands to cover the part he has seen before, but Ae reaches out and pulls my hands away.
"I want to see," he says, and pulls both of my hands above my head, making me now completely naked, no different from a newborn baby with nothing to cover.
It's even more than the day in the locker. Now I'm exposing my very male body to Ae, to the point that I'm afraid he'll hate me.
Ae is a straight. Seeing a man's entire body might not make him horny.
Grab.
"Come sit here." Then, I almost float with the force of the jerk when he pulls me up to sit on the edge of the bathtub.
What makes me almost raise my hands to cover my face is that he spreads the tips of my feet apart. It means that now he can see me more clearly. Why, instead of being embarrassed and losing my horniness, I... reveal my desires to him more clearly?
"That's why you are making me embarrassed, Pete," he says.
Why don't I see that he is embarrassed at all? Ae is kneeling between my legs, much shorter than me. He moves to kiss my mouth, sucking it gently. His tongue licks my lips while his two hands touch my chest.
"Oh... Ae... No... Don't..." I feel a tingling sensation all over my body when Ae's fingers begin lightly squeezing my nipples. I knew that men feel this place too, and I felt it a lot too. Now Ae squeezes and squeezes it alternately like he is learning my body.
"Do you like it when I squeeze you like this?" He asks.
How can I answer him? I didn't know anything at the moment. My body is in turmoil. He is still playing with the same part repeatedly, then Ae moves his face in…
Bite.
"Ahh!" I let out a soft cry, startled by Ae's teeth scraping my nipple.
That makes Ae pull away, asking uncertainly. "Did I hurt you?"
"A little… okay."
"Then I'll just lick it."
Why do I feel like it is more embarrassing for him to ask than for Ae to simply do it?
I don't answer. I am about to faint now. When Ae seems to be punishing me by licking it lightly, it makes me feel so tingly that I can't help myself.
I dig my fingers into Ae's short-cropped hair.
Grab!
"Ahh... Ahh." But then, Ae grabs the center of my body, and I can't help but let out a moan. I can only bury my face against him, who still rests his face against my chest. It feels like every part of my body is about to explode when he strokes me.
I have never told him how good I felt that day in the locker room. Now, even though I'm embarrassed, it actually feels even better.
Hiss!
"Ahhh!! Big... mmm... Ae... d-don't... don't, please... it's dirty... the.. huh.. don't."
Then I look up, and can't help but moan when Ae leans down to use his mouth on me.
Don't even mention using his mouth. I've never had sex with anyone. No one has even touched this part of me except Ae. So, just him using his mouth and my whole body tingles. My body trembles. I felt waves of pleasure mixed with torture all over my body, but I knew how dirty that place is.
I don't want Ae to think I'm dirty. I really don't.
I try to push his shoulders away, but Ae insists on doing that for me, and he pushes my legs against the edge of the bathtub. I have to use my two hands to support myself. Then my embarrassing gasps echo everywhere, my breath is hot. Every time I gasp, I can feel it.
I shake my head hard, still trying to push his shoulders away. I am going to finish. If he does any more, I will definitely cum in his mouth.
"Ae… hack… name… enough… enough… yes… more… no… no more."
That makes him pull his lips away, wiping the saliva off with the back of his hand before asking me, "Are you not feeling good?"
How could I not feel good? I feel great—too great, in fact.
I want to answer him, but the words won't come out. Ae looks worried about whether he's making me feel good before he turns his attention elsewhere.
"Or do I have to do it here? I read it on the internet..."
Should I be angry at him? After he finishes talking to himself, he proves it by bending down, lifting my legs high, and licking... there—right at the most disgusting part. Ae is licking it, and I realize it's driving me crazy. I have never done anything like that to myself, but now I can feel Ae's tongue licking at that opening, swirling around, wet and slippery, causing turmoil within me until I'm soaked with the fluid flowing from my tip.
"Ah!!! No, Ae, Ae, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop… In the name of…"
Even though I tell Ae this, he doesn't stop. He still uses his tongue on me. If I come because he licks that part, how will he look at me?
So I shout louder, making Ae look up at me.
"Enough...Enough!!!"
"You don't want me to do it?"
Slurp slurp slurp.
Right now, I can't think of anything, can't think of anything nice to say, except for breathing heavily and my voice trembles.
"No, I want Ae to do it… but it's dirty… huff… I have to wash it first. I've read that it has to be washed… I don't want… Ae… to hate it."
I almost run out of energy and throw myself flat on the edge of the bathtub. But I still try to tell him.
It's not that I don't want him to do it, but I've read that I have to wash it first. I don't want him to do it to me once and hate me. I really won't do that.
"Do I hate you? There's no way I hate you, Pete!" Ae says in a gruff voice, and like that he is just brushing away my worries.
Then Ae moves in to hug me, pulling my hand onto his part. He buries his face in my shoulder as he says…
"I can't take it anymore... Now I want to fuck you so bad." The fact that Ae feels the same way makes me happy. I can only hug him back when I make up my mind.
"If Ae doesn't hate me... Ae, do it." I whisper softly when he looks at me with a shocked look.
After a moment, his hand is touching my back again.
Whoops.
"Ouch!!!"
My emotions immediately stop when Ae inserts his finger inside. A sharp pain shots through my body until I grip his shoulders tightly. I think to myself, am I not relaxed enough? Why does it hurt like this? That makes Ae look down at me in shock and ask me a question that made me almost disappear.
"Are you sure that after I put it in, you won't die?"
I've never heard of a gay man who died just from sex, but I really wonder if I would die if he really put it in. Ae's thing that I touched isn't small at all. Ae's isn't very long, but Ae's is very... plump. Just my finger hurts... I'm definitely going to cry.
"Absolutely not. My finger is already this tight. I'm going to hurt you for sure." Ae mumbles to himself in a stressed voice. Then he pulls his hand away, leans down, kisses my cheek, and hugs me tightly.
"I'll study hard. Next time, I won't hurt you." Ae whispers to me, rubbing my back to comfort me, even though his part is rubbing against mine, making my whole body hot.
"Ae...we're the same… I won't disappoint you, Ae. I won't." I tell him repeatedly.
I am glad that he doesn't hate me, and that he doesn't want to hurt me. Until I can only say, "Ae… should I use my mouth?" I ask because I want to do the same for him, but I don't realize that I have turned on a switch inside Ae.
Grab.
"Ahh!"
"I'm sorry. I can't take it anymore." He pulls me again, this time pushing me against the wall, then following me down to lie on top of me from behind.
It makes my face heat up.
Ae pushes that part between my two thighs, rubbing right at the base, and hitting me every time he moves.
"Pete, I can't take it anymore. Ah, um, I can't..."
"Eek!" I tremble all over as Ae grabs my shaft and strokes it together, while his own rubs against my thigh, pulling out and pressing back in repeatedly until I feel completely heated.
"I....eek....Eek....Ae, Krub...sob....I can't....eek....I can't take it anymore....."
Plut.
I tense up as I release and smear it all over the bathroom wall, panting heavily. My legs almost scrape down. I never knew that doing it with someone else could be this tiring and good. Now, I can barely cover my face and gasp for air as Ae continues to thrust into my thighs.
I try to squeeze my legs for him. Ae's hot breath against my back, his embrace, and his moans behind me make my hair stand on end. My body, which had already released, becomes horny again easily, so I can only try to hold it in.
What would Ae think if I felt it because of his hot part?
If I had ever wondered if I was gay, I'm sure now, I feel good about that part of Ae that's rubbing against me. I really don't dare tell him that I still want him, and want him so much that I'm ashamed.
"Ah... Pete... mm..."
I close my eyes tightly. When Ae releases and smears between my legs, I shiver as he holds me tight.
"That's awesome."
I wanted to tell him the same thing.
It feels really good.
Ae buries his face in my shoulder for a while before he speaks up again and says, "Let me take a shower too. I can't go back to the dorm like this."
I don't want to shower with him because I'm afraid I'll get aroused again. Yet I'm really glad he hasn't left, so I can only turn to look at him and ask softly, "Are you staying with me tonight, Ae?"
Ae looks at me with a bit of surprise, thinks to himself for a moment, and then nods.
"Sure, but you should shower first. Showering together? I need to think about what the hell I'm going to do with you next."
He says this, glancing down at himself, then turns to leave the bathroom. I hold my heart tightly. Just now… just now, Ae and I… I…
I can only shake my head vigorously and hurry to shower. I ask myself how I'll be able to look at Ae after this. I'll definitely end up avoiding eye contact!"
Perspective - Ae (Inthach)
Pete is asleep. Well, actually, I don't know if he's really asleep or pretending to be asleep because right now, my eyes are wide open like I've had too much caffeine. After I took a shower after Pete, borrowed Pete's clothes, and stepped closer to Pete's bed. The owner of everything I use sleeps on the other side of the bed. All the lights on that side are off. I don't know if it's just me, but when I sleep next to him, he flinches and pulls the blanket over himself.
If it was before, I would think that I would definitely hide, but because of the memories in the bathroom, I think it would be... embarrassment. Since I was embarrassed myself, yeah, I've never had sex with anyone. This is my first time that I "almost did it." A little bit more and I'll probably cross a level I've never dreamed of before.
So right now, I feel like my face is hot like I just drank some… Three glasses of liquor… To be honest, it's hotter than drinking liquor.
I keep thinking about Pete's expression when he looked at me, when he moaned my name, oh, and when he masturbated because of me.
At that moment, I was in shock, but then I immediately got hard seeing Pete like that—Khun-chai completely defenseless, curling up into a ball, trying to hide his face from me as best he could. I can honestly say it's adorable.
It's so freaking cute.
So right now, there's no way I'm getting to sleep if that image is still stuck in my head. The more I turn to the side and see his shoulders like this...
Ugh.
I want to do it again.
I quickly push that thought out of my head and turn off all the lights, but I can only lie there watching Pete's back. Who would believe that someone like me, who doesn't care about love at all, would end up falling for a guy? With Pete, it must be an exception.
"You… sleep well," I finally say casually.
After a moment, I continue watching him until he closes his eyes.
"G-goodnight," Pete murmurs back softly, and I can't help but smile.
I pull the blanket tighter. It's clear to me that tonight he probably won't be able to sleep either. I just realized that sex has a stronger effect than caffeine. We'll both be wide awake tonight.
~~~
I don't know when I fell asleep. When I wake up again, it's already bright outside, which is strange for me since I usually wake up before five. Given that I couldn't sleep last night, waking up at six isn't too bad.
Crack.
Buzz.
"What the hell is that noise?" I say to myself.
Now that Pete is awake, the strange sound coming in must be him. I throw the blanket off, walk outside, and see... What's going on? The handsome Khun-chai who can't do anything, or a kid who doesn't know where to start?
When I walk in, Pete is deep in concentration trying to do something. He leaves the water running in the sink and glances at the pot of water he left on the stove, clearly unaware it's hot because as soon as he touches it, he drops the lid on the floor. He looks around for oven mitts, rummaging through the dried food that Aunt Jeab has set out, making a mess on the kitchen counter. I scratch my head.
Is he trying to make breakfast or destroy the kitchen?
"What are you doing?"
Yikes!
Crack!
Don't ask me what that noise is. Pete drops the pot lid again and turns to look at me, and can you guess? His cheeks are getting redder and redder, just like boiling water.
"Um… Ae, are you awake already?"
I can't be imagining it—he's definitely avoiding eye contact, so I step closer and see what he's trying to do.
"Are you making shrimp porridge?"
"Um, yes."
Okay, I can understand what Aunt Jeab was talking about now. With the shrimp's heads and tails cut off like that, he probably can't even peel shrimp properly.
Even seeing that, I won't tease him. I just smile and head to wash my hands.
"I'll split the shrimp for you, so you can focus on something else."
"Um, but it won't look nice anymore. Let's just use the ones Aunt Jeab put in the fridge." He says this softly, probably embarrassed that he can't peel shrimp, but I just shake my head, pick up a knife, and start splitting the shrimp, taking out the guts, even if some are cut in half or the meat is missing.
"Not pretty but still edible. I don't pick and choose what I eat, and you know that," I say casually while taking care of my task.
I don't laugh at him for being clumsy, because it's clear he's trying to make something for me, and the sight of him struggling to chop the green onions with his awkward hands is endearing.
By the time the simple dish of shrimp porridge made with Knorr soup instead of pork bone broth is ready, it's already past seven. I don't complain. I just glance at Pete quietly and feel that he's trying to do something for me... and it makes me happy.
Even if I don't get to run today, it doesn't matter.
Surprisingly, "It's a bit salty, but it's good," I don't deny it.
This shrimp porridge he made is quite alright. I don't know if it's genuinely tasty or if it's just because of seeing the effort from my Khun-chai that I almost took over cooking myself, but it makes today's meal enjoyable.
As he keeps his head down, eating his porridge without daring to look at me, I can't help but think about last night.
"Don't be shy. It makes me feel shy too."
"Uh… I just can't do it," Pete murmurs softly, nearly burying his face in the porridge, so I fall silent.
We finish eating, and just before I go to wash the bowls, I pause and say casually, "Next time you need to peel shrimp, just call me... I just realized I like peeling shrimp."
Pete looks up at me, confused, but only for a moment before I continue. "Last night... you were as red as a shrimp."
Saying that makes me shy, so I quickly walk to wash the bowls quietly without him saying anything to me. Even as I put on the same clothes to head back and change at the dorm, he doesn't say goodbye.
Pete's face right now is genuinely as red as a shrimp.
Damn, have I been hanging out with Pond too much to say something so crazy?
I can only ruffle my hair. Being with Pete makes me start discovering sides of myself I never knew I had.
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