“Each day of mine passed …so slowly."
They say that when we wait for something, time slows down.
That seems to be true. I tried my absolute hardest to live without expectation, but in every moment of silence, the only thing I could do was wait.
Wait for when we would finally meet…
I had left the orphanage. After studying intensely, I successfully passed the medical school entrance exams as I had hoped. Moving into the university dorm didn’t distance me from my other two friends, because all three of us got into the same university, just different faculties.
One evening, we met at the library. I, having just finished class, walked to our usual table where Phallop was already waiting. “Where’s Likhit?” I asked. The one sitting there bored, chin in hand, looked up and replied in a listless tone.
“Off browsing for books for a report.”
“What’s wrong? Why that face?”
At that, my friend sprang up, walked around, and sat next to me, staring so seriously that I narrowed my eyes in surprise.
“Help me out, Khiao.”
“Tell me first, then I’ll decide if I’ll help or not.”
Phallop made a frustrated sound in his throat at my friend's evasiveness, but finally relented after looking left and right to ensure this would be a secret between just the two of us.
“Do you like Likhit?”
“What!!” I accidentally exclaimed too loudly, making Phallop almost hit me on the head for being overly startled. Realizing I’d broken library rules, I quickly lowered my voice. “What are you talking about?”
“Well, you look at her often.”
That point… is true. Since she resembles someone I miss…
“Listen. I think of Likhit only as a friend. And I already have someone I love. Remember?”
Phallop nodded woodenly as he listened. For a split second, a trace of a smile appeared, making me ask knowingly.
“Or do you like her?”
My friend’s face flushed crimson upon hearing that. *Where did he get that wrong idea?*
“I think I’ve liked her for a while now.”
“Uh huh.”
“’Uh huh’ what? Aren’t you surprised?” Phallop was very displeased that his friend picked up a book to read as if the huge secret he’d just revealed was unimportant.
“Why be surprised? Everyone knows.”
“What!!” Now it was Phallop’s turn to exclaim loudly. I looked at my panicking friend with annoyance. Does this guy ever realize he’s terrible at hiding his feelings?
“You’re that obvious.”
“That obvious?”
“Yeah.”
“What about Likhit? Would she know?”
“Not sure. Maybe she knows but doesn’t say anything. Why don’t you just tell her directly?”
Phallop looked crestfallen. The one who was usually blunt about everything lowered his head, avoiding my gaze. I couldn’t help but laugh seeing this other side of my friend.
“But we’re friends. I’m afraid if she doesn’t like me, she’ll disappear.”
I understood well. Relationships were harder to understand than anything else. And especially when it involved two people important to me, I couldn’t just ignore it.
“So, what do you want me to help with?”
Phallop looked up at me with sparkling eyes.
“Can you ask her for me, if she likes anyone?”
“Sure, I’ll try to ask for you.” I agreed readily. It wasn’t a difficult task at all, but only if Likhit was actually willing to tell me. “But not sure if she’ll say.”
“She’ll tell you for sure. I think… Maybe she likes you.”
This new hypothesis from Phallop made the listener scratch his head awkwardly. Each of these thoughts is exhausting.
“Where did you get that idea from?”
“Well, she likes talking to you.”
“Hey, don’t judge someone’s feelings based on just that,” I said. The scolded one made a pouting face before grinning mischievously and returning to his seat as Likhit walked in.
We read quietly for a while longer before I felt a persistent nudge at my foot. Just looking up at my friend winking from across the table made me sigh heavily.
“Likhit.”
But I agreed to do it anyway.
The owner of the name looked up from her large book, staring at her friend’s face looking back at her, while Phallop kept his head down reading as if there was an exam tomorrow, even though it was a day off.
“I have something to ask you,” I said, glancing at the one who was shaking with curiosity, and could only suppress a laugh. “Do you have… someone you like?”
“Why are you suddenly asking this?” the girl raised an eyebrow. Even though we were close, we both knew neither of us was involved with anyone, hence the three of us sticking together as friends.
“Just curious.”
Likhit let out a long sigh, pretending not to care much about the question as she bent down to continue reading. “Not sure.”
“How can you not know? They’re your own feelings.”
“Well, because they’re my own feelings, that’s why they’re hard to understand, Khiao.”
The listener narrowed his eyes. From the girl’s demeanor, he could draw a conclusion.
“So you do.”
Likhit froze. Soon after, she looked up and stared intently.
“You know too much.”
“Who is it? Tell me. Do I know him?” I asked, now curious myself. But, for a split second, the girl’s gaze turned to look at our other silent friend before speaking in a flat voice.
“Know him very well.”
I raised a smile. I let the matter drop as my friend chose not to speak of it further. But honestly, am I the only one who knows they both feel the same but are held back by the word ‘friend’? So I can’t just leave it be…
I never thought
I was the one who started everything.
I, having just finished class, frowned as I came down from the building and found Likhit waiting. The girl waved at me with a wide smile from a corner of the walkway.
“Coming to find me like this out of the blue, is something wrong?”
“I have a little something to talk to you about,” Likhit said, covering her mouth, before taking me to sit at her favorite dessert shop, as usual.
“This isn’t just about finding a friend to eat sweets with, is it?” I teased after she finished ordering shaved ice. The girl turned and gave me a big grin before shaking her head in response.
“What do you think of me, Khiao?”
Khiao.
Actually… I’ve gotten used to this name too.
Because I had to handle all new documentation, I chose to change my name. Everyone in this world knew me as Khiao. Only Likhit and Phallop knew my real name.
“Running into you is good timing anyway. I actually have something I wanted to talk to you about,” I said first. The girl’s expression filled with intense curiosity.
“Then you go first. My thing is huge, it can wait.”
“Cheater.”
“Come on, tell me, tell me.”
I turned to receive the hot tea the auntie brought to our table before turning back to my conversation partner.
“Remember what I asked you the other day? About whether you had someone you liked?”
“Yeah, yeah, I remember.”
“Actually, the one who wanted to know more was Phallop. He asked me to ask you.” The young man decided to tell the truth. Because maybe all I could help with right now was to simplify things.
“Why… why does he want to know?” The girl’s cheeks flushed red. She looked down at her fingertips, tapping the table lightly in embarrassment.
“He thinks you like me.”
“Huh!” This exact expression is what I made when Phallop said it. “That guy’s gone crazy.”
“Right? So, you and he should talk about this directly. Dragging it out won’t get you anywhere.”
“So you knew after all.” Likhit sighed heavily. She’d tried to keep it a secret for so long. Turns out, I had already figured out who she liked. “But I don’t want to lose a friend.”
“That’s only if he doesn’t like you back.”
The girl’s eyes widened. Her cheeks burned so hot the shaved ice in front of her was melting.
“Wh-What are you saying?”
“Your face is bright red.”
“Stop teasing me.”
“Okay, okay,” I surrendered, knowing if I said more she’d be too embarrassed to function. “I can’t picture the two of you as a couple.”
“Why not? Aren’t we suitable?”
“It’s not that. I mean, would you still act the same as friends?”
“Not sure. But if that guy annoys me, I’ll still whack him like always.”
“Starting to worry about him now.”
“You should worry about me too! He likes knocking me on the head like it’s nothing.”
“That’s exactly why you two can be together.”
“Let’s stop talking about this.” The one whose face refused to stop blushing changed the subject, bending down to spoon shaved ice into her mouth to cool down.
“Your turn. Did you have something you wanted to talk to me about?” The young man lifted his hot tea for a sip, chin in hand, looking at his friend whose eyes instantly sparkled.
“Well, you know I’m writing a book, right?”
“I know. You’re good at it.”
“There’s one story I really want to write. It might not be finished anytime soon, but I wanted to ask your permission first.”
The listener frowned. His heart skipped a beat for a second.
“Why do you need to ask me first?”
The thing I’ve always wondered about…
“I want to write your story.”
…is actually happening.
I fell silent. Thoughts assembled and connected inextricably. The eyes staring at Likhit were filled with a mix of alarm and joy.
Alarmed that I had finally found the writer from Aksorn’s memories.
And joyful, joyful that it was her.
One of the few people I trusted…
“Khiao.”
“Khiao?”
“Songjam.” Likhit switched to my real name as I suddenly drifted off into my own trance. The moment I heard ‘Songjam’, I flinched slightly before speaking haltingly.
“Ha… Hmm?”
“I’ve been calling you for a while.”
“I had something to think about for a moment.”
“Don’t overthink it. I just want to write it as a gift for you and your person. But if you don’t want me to write it, it’s totally fine.”
Our meeting
“It’s fine… You can write it.”
…was all predetermined.
“Phîi, I’ve found the person who wrote our story."
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