The night the rain poured down, but I was warm.
I stood coughing my lungs out in front of a rice shop near the dorm, remembering that when I’d come out to find dinner the sky was still bright. Not to mention my illness. Even though it was better, if Aksorn returned to the room and didn’t see me, he’d probably be worried.
Look.
The junior turned left and right. The rain was so heavy I didn’t dare charge through, even though the dorm was only a few hundred meters away. In the very second I couldn’t think of anything, the auntie who owned the rice shop came over to him with a blue raincoat.
“You can take mine to use first, ja.”
Because of that, I barely had time to raise my hands in a wai.
See the advantage of having a favorite restaurant yet?
“Thank you very much, khrap.” I hurriedly took the raincoat and put it on just as the rain began to let up. I quickly ran back to the dorm, completely forgetting my own illness when I thought of someone who was waiting. He was there.
After running breathlessly to the room, I quickly took off the raincoat and draped it on the rail before offering a smile to the person who was staring at him with a terrifying gaze.
“Sorry, khrap. I was just hungry so I went out to find something to eat, but the rain was really heavy here. I waited until it let up and just got back to the room, khrap.”
But the stern face and the words were in opposition.
“I was worried sick.”
“You were worried about me, Phîi?” Seizing the chance to act big now, huh? I, who had looked dejected just a moment ago, was now grinning widely at the mirror, enough to be sickening.
“Yes, of course. You’re sick. Disappearing like this, I was seriously startled. Next time you go anywhere, write it on the mirror, will you? At least I’d be a bit more at ease.”
“Sorry, khrap. I didn’t think it would make you worry this much. But I’m feeling better now, khrap.” He raised his hand to feel his own forehead before giving his older brother a full, toothy smile. “No fever.”
“Even so, go take a shower and change your clothes. You’ll get sick again.”
The junior nodded in agreement. He moved closer to the other party before breathing on the mirror to fog it up, raising his index finger to draw on the glass until Aksorn, following the movement of his finger, unconsciously let out a smile.
“I’ll go shower now, khrap.” But even as he said that, I, who had gotten up and walked away, was still sneaking a glance from a corner of the room. A place where Aksorn might not notice me right now. The capable older brother blew on the glass, just like I had.
A message from the other side, sent directly to this world, made me almost collapse to the floor.
♡
Good grief.
My face was so hot it felt like I'd get sick again…
***
“The truth is, I had always hoped that we would meet.”
I really didn’t like it, watching Aksorn pack his bag to prepare to go out like this. What’s more, this was going out with the person he was the most jealous of in the world.
“How many days will you be gone, Phîi?”
“Not sure. If it gets really late, might get a room and sleep there for the night.”
An answer that made my face contort even more unhappily. The deeply aggressive glare was so intense that even Aksorn could probably feel the displeasure.
“Staying over? With him?”
“Yeah. Why?”
How can you ask? That guy is my arch-nemesis!
But, in the end, I couldn’t do anything more than this. All I could do was watch my Phîi walk away. No matter how much I wanted to be the one by Aksorn’s side. One reason I softened was because before Aksorn left, the other had kissed my cheek to reassure me.
I was so embarrassed I could die.
I went to pack his own bag. Since Aksorn wasn’t in the room, I would go tutor with friends at school. I had suddenly become someone who disliked being alone in the room. After this, all I could do was pray that Aksorn’s search for the author of that novel would be successful.
Because he was trying hard on his own path too….
***
“When I saw the opportunity, I chose to seize it.”
I woke up earlier than usual, sitting and watching the other young man who was still curled up in bed with a smile. He didn’t know if this would be the last time.
The last time I would wake up to look at Aksorn through the mirror on the other side….
The drowsy figure woke up while I was putting on my school uniform. I kept on smiling. I was extremely confident about the major decision I had made.
“You’re awake, Phîi?”
“Why are you up so early today?” The voice used to ask was always so pleasant to hear. It was an infatuation that I felt quite pleased with.
“I have something I need to do, khrap.”
Something very important, at that.
“…Phîi, khrap.”
“Hm?”
“Do you trust me, Phîi?”
Even though he already knew, I still wanted to hear it clearly, just once.
“I’ve never not trusted you.”
Instantly, my smile brightened, exceedingly satisfied.
“That’s enough then, khrap.”
“You’re making me worried.” Under normal circumstances, I might have been afraid of the look in Aksorn’s eyes right now. Eyes that were somewhat similar to when he scolded me for being sick.
“There’s nothing to worry about. Just wait for me, Phîi. That’s all.”
“I’ll wait.”
Because I will make it to be there.
“See you later, khrap.”
.....by your side, Phîi.
I walked out of the room as usual. The distance between the dorm and school was less than a ten-minute walk. But today, the young man chose to first walk into his regular record store. He had calculated that there was still plenty of time before class.
His thick hand brushed over the records lined up in the wooden box. It took almost half an hour to choose one from among hundreds, thousands, before walking out with his brand new record.
The morning period at school was reserved for university entrance exam tutoring. So I used my free afternoon period to read a book that I had been so intent on reading I already finished it twice.
Not a textbook, or an exam prep book.
But a book I had found by chance a few days ago…..
It was one afternoon in the school library. While I was walking along the bookshelves to find books for my own exam prep.
The library in the afternoon was silent. Only I and fewer than ten other students were in the place. Soft sunlight streamed in through the clear, curtainless glass. And what that light fell upon was just a short distance from my hand.
A single book hiding among the hundreds of books in the library. I pulled it out without expecting much. But the title that appeared on the cover made me freeze.
“Parallel Universes"
It couldn’t be denied that, besides the exam prep books, I also chose to take that book to read…
I had often read about parallel universes. I slowly understood what was happening using the scientific principles I believed in. Because if it were the me from before, I would have thought parallel worlds were just a fantasy.
I admitted that meeting Aksorn had changed me in many ways.
My identity, My thoughts, My beliefs, and My feelings…
I read the chapter about time travel over and over again. I hoped beyond hope that it would be useful for the hope I placed in this book.
And yes, today I was ready to do as the book said.
I walked out of the school gates on a gloomy evening. I didn’t walk back to the dorm like every other day, but chose to take a bus to a certain place that was merely my first memory.
For as long as I could remember, I had been left at a church orphanage until high school, when I moved out to live alone with support from the church’s funds.
Even though I hadn’t had a chance to repay the kindness, today I wanted to see everyone.
I walked into the church and sat quietly for a good while until the figure of an elderly priest walked in. I stood up and politely shook his hand, greeting him with a voice full of immense joy at meeting him.
“Are you well, Father?”
This very priest was the one who had named me “Songjam”.
“As well as can be.”
Hasn’t changed a bit…
“And the children, khrap?”
“Rowdy, as kids are.” The Father answered, and even without turning to look, one could perceive the radiant warmth. “Don’t worry about things here.”
I turned to look at him immediately. The hands resting on his own thighs clenched tighter upon hearing that.
“...Father believes you have made good decisions every time.”
“Thank you, khrap.” The young man replied with a heavy sigh. “...Thank you for everything.”
The silence in this place was vast. Even as I stood up to bid farewell to the Father for the last time, the determined look in his eyes made me feel immensely relieved. Trust to this extent was something I had never thought I would receive.
I stayed to play with the children and staff at the orphanage until late evening before choosing to walk out, without telling them that this goodbye wasn’t for meeting again like every other time.
But might be to part ways... for a very, very long time.
The heavy weight in my heart had lightened. I took the bus back to the room with the full moon shining brightly in the sky. Everything was ready. Only I remained.
Only him…..
“See you later.”
Inside the pitch-dark room, it seemed Aksorn had gone out and not yet returned. I didn’t walk over to turn on the light like usual. What I did now was sit contemplatively in front of the mirror, scrutinizing Aksorn’s room thoroughly. The light from the full moon shone in and hit this very pane of glass perfectly.
Everything was cooperating.
The young man played the music from the record he bought today before returning to sit in the same spot again. I looked down at the handmade notebook, the only item I wanted to take with me, placed on my lap. A Christmas present that, if possible, I wanted to deliver to its owner…
I sat watching the angle of the moon in the mirror. I tightened my grip on the notebook I held firmly before standing up. My eyes were shut tight because I knew well that hope often must be exchanged for disappointment...
The mirror, an object connecting two worlds.
Time, the night of the full moon.
The offering, the unconditional desire of a young man.
In the final moment, I gritted my teeth, opened my eyes to fix my gaze on the mirror once more.
Before running out with all my might...
And then I was swimming within a hidden dimension of time.
Like a person drowning.
Cramped, cold, breathless.
Waves overlapping, hidden in every molecule of my body.
Sloshing, heavy, dragging.
Leaving only the shattering sound of glass echoing behind.
Hurt the ears.
Hurt the heart.
Then everything went dark.
Ah... the dimension of time is so dark.
“That was when I knew that death wasn’t scary at all."
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