MIL Chapter 19: That Goes Without Saying

Aksorn hurried out of the room quickly. His mind was heavy and his palms were clammy with sweat. He remembered his mother's handwriting even though he had never seen her face. Every character was engraved in this son's memory, inescapable. And what was written on the last page was more than clear enough.

“I will send you the next installment after my child opens his eyes to see the world.

Please pray for his health.

And I will name him...

Aksorn.'

She must be his Mother. No mistake."

The young man hastily called a car to go straight to the house immediately. His heart beat wildly, hammering as if it would leap out of his chest right now. With every meter the car moved, a numb tightness spread through him even more.

Various stories connected together in a chaotic jumble. At this moment, he couldn't do a single thing, aside from assembling the important pieces together. And the truth might become even clearer after that. But what he knew best right now was that everything that had happened did not occur by chance.

His mother was truly the one who wrote that novel...

The young man clenched his fist tighter as his gaze stared blankly out the car window. The sky was gloomy with condensing rain clouds thickening ominously, while the ticking second hand on his wristwatch was loud enough to nearly stop his breath.

Inside the car was silent. Aksorn knew that he hated the sound of the clock hands the most in the world.

It was sluggish and a portent that whenever he became aware of the watch's existence,

It meant time was nearly running out.

“Are you in a hurry, child? Your complexion doesn't look good,” the taxi driver asked upon seeing the passenger's demeanor. Aksorn couldn't deny the truth, so he nodded in acknowledgment first before answering in a tense tone.

“Yes, Phîi. If it's any later than this, I might lose something important.”

Hearing that, P'driver accelerated and took him through a shortcut to escape the traffic jam in the city center where rain was about to fall. Aksorn couldn't remember how many times he had said thank you, because, in the end, he arrived in front of his own house in a short time.

The young man pressed the doorbell for a good while until he was sure his father wasn't home, then used his own key to unlock it. He hurriedly ran to his mother's study first. He rummaged inside the room for quite some time, but the more he rushed, the more his hands shook.

However, he had already read almost all of his mother's books and manuscripts. The young man slumped onto the floor when he was out of options, because if Father had really stored the manuscript Aksorn in Memory in this room, it must have certainly passed his eyes before.

But if it was something important...

Aksorn had a sudden thought. Was it possible that this was related to a friend Father had once mentioned? And if that were truly the case, the answer might not lie within this room, but within my Father's own room.

The young man went straight to his father's room, which he had never set foot in even once. Everything inside the room was therefore entirely unfamiliar to him. He was prepared to apologize to Father later for entering without permission. It was just that this time, there was an urgent matter to handle first. And if they talked seriously, Father might understand.

It was no surprise that the room was filled with his Mother's books; if not her lover, he must have become her most devoted fan. But because of that, Aksorn had to spend a long amount of time searching for that manuscript.

But... yes. He meant that even though it took long, he found it in the end.

It was hiding in the drawer of the bedside table. The evidence confirming that he had found the writer of that story, even though the writer had been gone for a very long time...

Aksorn pressed his thumb down on his mother's name on the page. Every character that formed the word “Likhit” pricked at his eyes, making tears well up.

“Was it you, Mother?” The young man's voice trembled, and it might also be mixed with a sob. But there was one thing he still didn't quite understand. How did my Mother know about what happened between him and Songjam?

But now, the answer might already be in his hands.....

Aksorn went down to the living room, in case Father had returned so they could talk first. The manuscript Aksorn in Memory was typed with his Mother's favorite typewriter, which Father still kept to this day even though no one used it anymore. Outside, it was raining heavily. The cold wind didn't calm the young man down even a little. He laid out both the papers that Napha had given him and the original manuscript side by side, before opening to the page he had left off reading, unsure whether his Mother had continued it or not.

Because on the day he opened his eyes to see the world, his Mother passed away...

He had to read it, to see if before his Mother died, Aksorn in Memory had still progressed a little further, even if just slightly. Aksorn let his eyes read intently to absorb those stories as the first person, since even Napha never had.

Songjam returned from the church after sunset. The room was pitch dark because the room on the opposite side was unoccupied. That child just kept walking back and forth inside the room, refusing to turn on the light. There was only the faint glow from the full moon shining dimly.

The tall figure bowed and raised his head in front of the mirror before dropping down to sit for a good while. It was a second where everything was silent and no one knew what Songjam was thinking.

Please...

Aksorn pressed his lips together tightly, even though he knew well that he couldn't change what had happened.

There was no more time. He hurriedly ran out of the house even though the rain was still heavy and he had only read that much. Terrified that if he was late even by one page of text, he might lose Songjam forever...

Aksorn ran to the house of the aunt next door immediately. The young man's alarmed expression made the person opening the door feel quite worried.

“Is something wrong?”

“May I borrow a car, please?”

“Of course. Should I drive for you? You don't look well at all.”

He didn't want to trouble anyone, but right now, Aksorn didn't trust himself either. “In that case, please, I'll trouble you then.”

Hearing that, the middle-aged woman got into her own car first before driving out, taking the junior from next door through the rain immediately. Even though she didn't know what was happening, she knew this child very well. Someone who was always so good at hiding his feelings had now clearly changed.

Aksorn bent down to read the manuscript again after giving the aunt directions. This journey itself would determine everything: whether he could change these stories, even just a little would be good.

Because in this novel, it ended with.....

Songjam breaking through the mirror, hoping to travel across dimensions to reach him.

However, the mirror on Songjam's side shattered into fine pieces, leaving only sharp fragments scattered on the floor.

And yes... shattered completely.

Aksorn gripped the manuscript tightly before raising his head to look at the road stretching as far as the eye could see. The rain had stopped, revealing a sky brighter than a moment ago in the distance. The similarity between his world and Songjam's world right now was probably the full moon shining brightly in the sky. Not a single star. The loneliness that arose was therefore not something imagined.

“If my Father returns home anytime, please tell him I'm going to find him,” the young man spoke up when the car had stopped in front of his apartment. The aunt next door looked at him with a serious expression, even while nodding in reply.

“Sure. Is there anything else I can help with?”

“It's alright. This much is already troubling you enough.”

He merely smiled, even though he knew full well that his smile right now was unbearably strange. Aksorn raised his hands in a wai, saying thank you once more before getting out of the car.

His footsteps were heavy.

Every step up the staircase became a cliff edge difficult to climb.

Aksorn only realized how much his legs were shaking when he had already reached the top step of the stairs. And after this, just a few more steps, that was his own room.

The room where he didn't know if Songjam was still waiting or not....

“Auntie?” Aksorn called out when he saw the landlady aunt standing in front of his room. She turned to look immediately before speaking falteringly.

“I knocked on the door so many times and you didn't answer , until Auntie felt uneasy. I was almost about to unlock it to go check.”

“I went out. Is something wrong?”

“I heard the sound of glass breaking from your room.”

Glass breaking?

Aksorn clenched his fist, before quickly unlocking the door to his room in a rush. The darkness disappeared when he turned on the light, but in the end,

...he hated the light.

Hated that it was so brilliant it made the moon outside dull.

And hated... hated that those lights made one thing clear within eyesight.

His mirror was still placed in the same position. Everything inside the room was the same, except that the image reflected in the mirror had changed.

There was no Songjam's room, no figure of the teen who often sat waiting for him to return, no other dimension in there anymore...

The mirror reflected only his lonely room. Aksorn didn't even care that the landlady was standing watching right now. The young man stepped to stop in front of the mirror. His trembling hand reached out to touch the surface of that mirror pane, but no matter how tenderly, he couldn't preserve anything at all....

What was most clearly reflected right now was probably his contorted expression and teardrops. Aksorn broke down crying, utterly drained. Not a single reason remained to force a smile now. The force of sobs was the only thing sounding in the silent room. Even the landlady couldn't bear to see that sight and had to walk out first, closing the door softly behind her.

Hoping only that after crying so heavily, this child would feel better....

“Why didn't you wait for me?” That sentence was hoarse, clearly mixed with a trembling tone. Aksorn continued to stroke his own mirror, just thinking that he wouldn't get to see Songjam again.

His heart shattered.

Even if we cannot touch, or have no presence in each other's worlds, but please... please stay by my side like before, okay?

Let him hear me. Always. The moon hid behind thick clouds. The sky became a dark color, as a night of loss should have. Aksorn didn't know how he could endure it. Somewhere in his mind, there was still the song that Songjam had played.

The young man's bloodshot eyes darted, before his gaze settled on the room door upon hearing the sound of heavy footsteps walking to stop right at that spot.

Aksorn frowned intently. This second, this moment, he hoped it would be.... the person he longed for.

The tall shadow from outside stood stopped in front of his room, no mistake. Aksorn sat watching like that, his entire body so heavy he almost had no strength left.

Until a sheet of paper was slipped in through the gap under the door.

Aksorn's heart lurched, nearly stopping.

The young man managed to stand up, before slowly stepping towards the destination just a short distance away. The paper on the floor gradually became clearer in his sight.

Just bending down to pick it up, his dried-up tears flowed once more.

Aksorn remembered it well. The handwriting of the person he loved with all his heart...

'Phîi, :-)'

The young man hugged that sheet of paper. Overwhelming joy was making him almost crazy. But when another sheet of paper was slipped in, Aksorn could only sit slumped down right in front of the door like that.

“Don't open the door yet. I have something to tell you."

And that was the first time

that Aksorn realized that, in the end,

they had come to be in the same world...

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