Aksorn paced back and forth inside the room, busy putting things into his bag while the worry-prone junior sat hugging his knees, watching intently without looking away.
“How many days will you be gone, Phîi?”
“I don't know. If it gets very late, I might find a room to stay there for the night,” he replied without turning to look at the other's face because he was searching for the room key he couldn't remember where he'd tossed. “Staying the night? With him, I suppose?”
“Uh-huh. Why?”
“Is it good for just the two of you to go? Phîi, why not try inviting someone else along too?”
“Songjam, the only way Phîi Khiao won't go is if I go alone,” Aksorn turned to say with a smile. Hearing that, Songjam made an unabashedly displeased face. “In that case, it’s good to just let him go with you.”
Aksorn secretly let out a soft sigh before stepping forward to stop in front of the mirror to meet the gaze of the young man nearby. “No need to worry.” “I can’t not worry,” Songjam said seriously, gently rubbing his hand on the mirror over the spot where Aksorn's face was. “I worry about you, Phîi, all the time, that's all.”
“Thank you.”
“Phîi, do you think you'll find her?” The one being asked shrugged because he wasn't confident either that they would succeed. “I don't know. But we have no other options left, Songjam.”
“I suppose so.”
“No matter what heavy thoughts you're having, can you trust me...?” Aksorn spoke with a firm tone. The person opposite him lowered his eyes before finally nodding in acceptance. “Yes.”
“Alright, I have to go now. Take care of yourself.”
“You too, Phîi.”
Aksorn stood up to his full height before walking over to arrange his bag once more, only to find that he had already put the room key into the backpack. The young man shook his head at himself, hurriedly picked up the backpack to sling over his shoulder before walking to close the balcony curtains, and found that, at that same moment, Khiao's car was just pulling up to park in front of the dorm. Aksorn turned to look at the mirror to say goodbye to Songjam again, and that junior's gaze never wavered from him.
“Move here a bit.” Aksorn knelt down again in front of the mirror, beckoning for Songjam to move closer, which that junior obediently did. Songjam almost held his breath; his ears burned red as if the lips pressed against the mirror over the spot where his own cheek was could truly feel each other's warm breath. “Phîi...” The young man was dazed; it took him a good while to regain his senses to turn and look at the figure opposite him again, only to find that the one who had planted a kiss on his cheek had already left, making him hurriedly run out of the room, his face flushed and his breath short.
His Phîi... always liked to make his heart beat so fast.
After stopping for lunch at a rest stop, Aksorn volunteered to drive next himself, even though Khiao insisted he would take responsibility for being the driver throughout this journey. “Let me drive some. I like driving.” That was the reason from the one who had run to sit smiling at the steering wheel on the driver's seat already, while Khiao just stood sipping his coffee. “So stubborn,” Khiao said with a hint of annoyance before walking to sit next to the driver, reaching out to choose the music they would listen to together throughout this trip.
Their destination was a rather shady and secluded house by a canal. The trees on both sides of the road spread out a canopy, so this afternoon wasn't too stiflingly hot. The two-story wooden house stood inside a low fence where one could see flowers raising their blooms, fully blossomed, welcoming visitors inside. The two young men looked at each other worriedly before Aksorn was the first to step out of the car to go stand pressing the bell in front of the house with a heavy feeling on his shoulders. Not long after, the slender figure of a middle-aged woman walked out of the house. She frowned immediately upon seeing they were strangers. “Who are you looking for?”
“Uh... are you Khun Napha?” Aksorn asked.
That made the other party's expression become even more surprised, but she eventually nodded in acknowledgment. “Yes. Do we know each other?”
“Not exactly acquainted. But I have something I need to talk to you about.”
“Talk with me?”
“I tracked you down from the email you used to upload a novel, one story.” Napha stared at the two young men without looking away. She pursed her lips tightly before speaking out in a panicked tone. “You mean... ‘Aksorn nai Khwam Songjam’ (Aksorn in Memory)?” Aksorn nodded in acknowledgment, while Khiao stood calmly nearby. That was all.
“Please, come inside first.” Napha opened the door, gesturing for the two young men to enter the house, as it seemed the matter that had brought the two of them here must be very important. The riverside house was cool and quiet. Wind blew in through the window along with the sounds of children playing on one side of the canal. The host led her guests to sit in the living room before walking to get water for them as per custom.
“Thank you,” Aksorn received the glass of water with a slight bow of his head. She smiled at him before sitting down opposite. “I would like to know, are you the one who wrote ‘Aksorn nai Khwam Songjam’?” the young man asked immediately, staring intently at her face, hoping to hear the answer he had been waiting for. But Napha's smile faded. She avoided his eyes just slightly before shaking her head in denial. “I didn't write that story myself.”
“But... the email used,” Aksorn stammered, asking, in case perhaps she might just be misunderstanding. “Is that your email or not?”
“Yes. That is my email.”
“Then who is Picker?” Napha smiled faintly before slowly explaining to them. “Picker is me. I am the one who uploaded that novel using my own email. It's just that, I wasn't the one who wrote it.”
Aksorn fell silent, pondering something by himself until Napha had to be the one to ask first. “You came all the way here just because you wanted to know if I wrote that story? Just that?”
“That novel... It's very important to me.”
“May I know the reason? Why is it so important to you to that extent?” The young man looked up to meet the other's gaze firmly, hoping that at least Napha would believe what he was saying. “I am Aksorn...” Silence resided for a moment, as the host was wide-eyed while staring at the young man's face as well.
“What are you talking about?”
“You don't have to believe me. But I just want to know who wrote that story. Please...” The pleading gaze of the person opposite was making Napha very worried. She didn't understand why suddenly some stranger would claim to be a character from a novel. “Please.” The middle-aged woman sighed, lowering her head slightly before deciding to say something. “Several years ago, a writer sent this story to the publishing house I worked at.” Aksorn swallowed thickly. Why did his search seem to be getting further away every time... “I was the one who handled that manuscript. But before it could be published, she disappeared.”
“Disappeared?”
“Yes,” Napha replied. She often offered him a smile that hid her sorrow. “I couldn't contact her anymore. This novel never got published. Until the publishing house closed down, I forgot about Aksorn nai Khwam Songjam altogether.”
“Then why did you post the novel online?”
“Not long ago, while I was tidying the house, I just found this manuscript. After reading it again, I felt it was a waste to keep it just for myself to read, so I chose to upload it online.”
“Is that so?” the young man replied, his voice faltering. He understood her reason, alright. It's just that finding the manuscript again probably wasn't a coincidence. Everything was predetermined...
“Can you tell me who that writer was?”
However, the person opposite sighed even more heavily, shaking her head in refusal with an equally regretful feeling. “The manuscript I received had nothing that told me about her, not a single thing, except for the story chapters alone. Not even a pen name. We only talked on the phone a few times, and she was the one who called me first.”
“Is there no way to find her?”
“I tried. But no. Never found her...” Was that the conclusion to this chapter? In the end, Aksorn couldn't learn anything at all. “But I want to know how you managed to find me,” Napha asked after the whole house had been in silence for a good while.
It was then that Aksorn could smile widely again, even though deep down he felt just as hopeless. “I tracked from the email until I found the owner of the publishing house you used to work at. The grandfather was the one who told me your address.”
“Oh my!” She was startled, both hands clasping together tightly without thinking. “You met my boss? Is he doing well?” Aksorn nodded, glad that at least Napha still cared about the grandfather. “He asked me to tell you he's sorry.”
“There's no need to apologize at all. It wasn't his fault...” The middle-aged woman's voice trembled, but the brightest smile appeared at that moment. “I tried to look for him, but that boss, he always avoided meeting me.”
“He probably feels guilty, I guess.”
“I know well that he truly feels that way. It's just that, I don't want him to blame himself anymore.”
“I'll go tell him.”
Napha smiled in acceptance. They stared at each other for a moment until the person who had been quiet all along spoke up for the first time. “I saw you were talking, so I didn't introduce myself. Hello. My name is Khiao.”
“Khiao... Just who are you two?” Napha didn't know how she should show her expression, because whether it was Aksorn or Khiao, both were truly characters from that novel. “I am Aksorn.”
“You two aren't lying to me, are you...?” she asked without concealment, and the young man's nodding made Napha begin to hesitate. “Why do you think you are the same Aksorn from that novel?”
“Shall I tell you that besides me, Songjam also has a real existence?” The wind blew through, languidly, gently, softly... “It's impossible.”
“I said I'm not asking you to believe me. But the novel mentioned it many times, didn't it? Aksorn talked with Songjam about many things, and the most important thing for them was to search for the writer of this novel. Even though it's from Songjam's perspective, everything between us truly happened.” Napha shook her head, not wanting to believe it. If it weren't for the fact that the novel truly stated it like that... The next chapter that hasn't been uploaded yet talks about Songjam having to stay alone in the room because Aksorn went to search for the writer in another province. “What did you tell Songjam about when you would return?” she asked, testing them, because besides herself, surely no one had ever read the remaining manuscript chapters. Aksorn broke into a smile. Thinking of that junior's forlorn face, he missed him too, you know. “I said I don't know. If it gets very late, I might find a room to stay there for the night first.”
Napha fell silent. Her panicked eyes transformed into being somewhat calmer before she laughed softly. “How is this possible? The next chapter that I haven't uploaded yet, Aksorn says exactly this to Songjam.”
“That junior sat pouting, staring at me the whole time.”
“And he was also flustered from being kissed by you.”
“Ah...” The young man's cheeks reddened instantly. Actually, he had been trying to act indifferent about that matter all day. However, continuing the conversation like that itself made Napha confident that she wasn't being tricked. “You are truly Aksorn?”
“Yes,” Aksorn replied firmly, turning to look at the other young man who was still sitting calmly. It was surprisingly not a little strange that he didn't show any sign of surprise at what he had learned, even though he had never told him about this. “It's a pity I can't help you with anything.”
“No. At the very least, I found Picker.”
“I suppose so,” the host smiled faintly before the sound of a car made Napha have to quickly say, “That's my husband. Just returned from picking up our child from school.” “In that case, I won't disturb you any longer. But may I look at the manuscript of that novel, please?”
“But it's very late already. By the time you drive back to Bangkok, it will surely be very late, a pure waste. Why not stay here for one night?”
“I’ve already imposed on you so much just by coming this far,” the young man replied with consideration, but she blinked at him immediately. “No matter how considerate you are, in the end I know that you will stay here one night and go back to appease Songjam, who is sitting sulkily in front of the mirror.” Hearing that, Aksorn laughed heartily, turning to Khiao to consult through eye contact, which the young man also nodded in agreement.
Therefore, that night, the two had to stay at Napha's house, who hurried to prepare dinner with her husband as the helper, while the two guests became babysitters for a four-year-old girl just like that.
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